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OiNK! #35: TRAVELLiNG HALFWAY

22 August 2022 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

With Ian Jackson back on cover duties off we go with the second half of OiNK’s run. Of course, we didn’t know this was the case at the time. As far as the (much) younger version of me was concerned the comic was going to run and run just like Beano or The Dandy (with OiNK being my first comic I had yet to experience a cancellation). There’s so much great stuff to come over the remainder of this year in particular (1987 in old money) but first I want to touch upon something, a change which seemed so small and insignificant but which would ultimately decide OiNK’s fate.

By coincidence Fleetway Publications took over from IPC Magazines at the exact halfway point in the comic’s eventual 68-issue run and it’s only with hindsight that I can say it was an incredibly important moment. Looking at #35 you’d not notice it unless you read the copyright blurb at the bottom of the Grunts letters page so you may be wondering why I’m giving it such prominence right at the beginning of this review.

A wonderful selection of input from the readers which co-editor Patrick Gallagher tailored to the theme of the issue, that of travel. You could almost see this issue as a mini holiday special or as a follow up to last year’s summery #7. You’ll see the change in the blurb at the bottom of the page too.

With average sales of around 100,000 per issue OiNK was a hit for IPC Magazines

Fleetway was originally created by newspaper group chairman Cecil Harmsworth King and when he later purchased Odhams and Newnes the IPC holding company was formed to oversee them all. Eventually it was all rebranded, OiNK falling under IPC Magazines alongside all the other comics. However, in 1987 IPC sold off its comics by placing them into a separate ‘Fleetway Publications‘ company and selling the whole caboodle to Robert Maxwell‘s Pergamon Holdings Ltd. Maxwell’s company now owned the independently crafted OiNK.

With average sales of around 100,000 per issue OiNK was a hit for IPC Magazines and they certainly treated it as such. They were also very happy with the buzz one of their titles was generating in the press and the celebrity endorsements it attracted. This didn’t stop it being victim to some fiddling under the new company though, but we’ll get to that in a future post and I’ll touch upon the importance of the next issue (and the immediate physical changes to the comic in particular) in its review. But for now let’s get back to the comedy with my favourite Greedy Gorb strip.

Greedy was usually written by his creator and artist Davy Francis and I dare say most (if not all) of the background jokes here were also added by Davy. The main set up and joke were written by Howard Osborn this time though, who actually has no less than five strips to his name in this one issue alone. Howard worked in law in some administrative capacity according to co-editor Patrick Gallagher. He would write his OiNK material after work whilst having a pint in the pub.

There can’t have been many pig pals who wouldn’t have had Pete Throb as one of their favourite characters

In any other comic Gorb could’ve become very repetitive but in OiNK that was never a concern and his mini strips were always a highlight, especially when there were so many gags squeezed into such a small space. The main pun would’ve been enough anywhere else but Davy always liked to give us plenty of value. My personal favourite here (although it’s hard to choose) would be the teeny tiny wings on the Flying Scotsman.

Elsewhere, a one-off character appears in two separate strips, both written by Howard. This is the best of the two and it appears Howard is trying to give pun masters Davy and Graham Exton a run for their money with Tommy Tyre (He Gets Around), drawn by Mike Green.

There can’t have been many pig pals who wouldn’t have had Pete Throb as one of their favourites. Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple was one of the most popular strips and featured in crossovers with Lew’s other creations Tom Thug and Pigswilla. Later in the run the strip would include a weekly competition asking readers to send in their outlandish pimple cures, he’d make the cover in an image that required the OiNK logo to be altered for the issue and he’d even get his own pull-out comic! Phew.

Following on from his collaboration (of sorts) with Tom just a fortnight ago, this issue brings us a full board game titled Around the World With 80 Zits. As well as this taking up the middle pages there’s a strip introducing the game’s scenario complete with cut out figures to use as player pieces, a bit like Frank Sidebottom’s in the first Holiday Special. This certainly wouldn’t be the last time we’d get a cut out game either.

So the set up is simple and the race for the miracle cure is on. The game is a wonderful, full-colour spread complete with so many ways to force the players around the board you could get dizzy playing! Just look at square number eight and follow its instructions to see what I mean. (The only thing more cruel than that one is square 44.) I never did play it as a kid because I didn’t like to cut up my OiNKs but I can imagine the laughs to be had for those that did.

To be fair the instructions contain the first clue that this isn’t going to be your normal board game, not when they include the words “tough luck”. I love all the little details around the route, containing everything from palm trees to the South Pole, a kangaroo to a yeti. There’s even a drawing of Blackpool Tower, a trademark holiday destination for many of Lew’s comics characters over the years. That’s understandable when you find out it’s a favourite place for Lew himself to visit.

After the game we get a bonus mini-strip as a conclusion to the race, with the winning character’s face conveniently obscured so no matter who wins they can pretend it’s their fate being portrayed.

Of course it had to have a twist ending, have you not been paying attention to these comic reviews? Definitely the best game the comic has produced so far, although it would have stiff competition in just a couple of issues from now. Still, with taking in so many random locations it’s the perfect main event to this travel special. Other characters were out and about too, as you’ll see in this selection of highlights from elsewhere in the issue.

On the back cover Frank Sidebottom had left his holiday snaps on the train so was forced to draw them from memory, Rubbish Man and Boy Blunder discovered the truth on their terrifying ‘Hunt the Yeti’ trip, Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt visited a brilliantly named drinking establishment, the Grim Reaper made his first appearance in The Adventures of Death while buying a helicopter for his “reclaiming work” and Hadrian Vile’s life was about to change forever, a situation which he handled in his usual inimitable style.

**Frank Sidebottom** by *Chris Sievey*
**Rubbish Man** by *David Haldane*
**Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Adventures of Death** by *Charlie Brooker*
**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*

After a break for a few issues David Leach’s Psycho Gran is back. She’s making up for lost time with a full page of her own and it’s almost a silent comedy. Usually taking up no more than half a page, it’s great to have a larger strip and it really is chock full of fun. David squeezes in as many panels as he can, each one intricately detailed as the little old dear goes through a situation many of us may find familiar.

Okay, so her solution isn’t exactly conventional, but I do love the panel where she lifts the weapon out of her tiny bag after searching through it in the previous one. The lack of background, the angel of its composition and her tongue sticking out as she concentrates are all brilliant, all of these little things combining to make this moment stand out as genuinely funny.

I remembered her taking up the back page of a Christmas issue of OiNK with a funny image of her waiting for Santa Claus (reminiscent of David’s Psycho Gran Versus series in recent years) and a large section of the second annual was devoted to her too, so it was a nice surprise to find her given a full page strip in the regular comic. Here’s hoping for more.

After the wonderful Sownd of Music spoof movie poster in #29, Simon Thorp returns to bring us a strip this time called Arctic Adventure, in which a narrator tells a captive audience the fantastical tale of the world’s greatest fur hunter. Now, if this sounds a bit off to you and if you’re asking why OiNK would tell such a tale in a comic which lampooned butchers, hyped piggies up as heroes and was genuinely animal-friendly, you wouldn’t be alone. Obviously there’s more to it and reading Simon’s story I was just waiting for the twist, which was hugely satisfying.

Two particular moments (asides from the obvious one) stand out for me here. The first is panel four, where the caption tells us of how he’d track so many beautiful and exotic creatures down… and shoot them. The other is when he “bravely” loads his machine gun, a weapon the polar bear would have no chance against, and then his terror when it won’t fire. I think this strip perfectly sums up how cowardly sports hunters are.

In recent years I’ve seen countless images going viral on social media of big game hunters with smug grins next to the carcasses of beautiful animals who they’ve slaughtered with their high-powered weaponry, posing like they were so brave to shoot a defenceless creature, like it took so much effort beyond simply twisting their cowardly finger around a trigger. I think Simon’s Arctic Adventure perfectly sums up these sorts of people.

It’s fitting that the technicolour Street-Hogs: Day of the Triffics gets to have its finale in this issue

Finally, as we say goodbye to the glossy paper for now (more on that next time) it’s fitting that the technicolour Street-Hogs: Day of the Triffics gets to have its finale first. As stated before this was my first exposure to the ‘Hogs as a kid, their previous adventure having already ended by the time I discovered OiNK, so to me this had felt epic. However, readers of the original 12-part story may have felt somewhat disappointed things were coming to an end already, the story lasting only a third of the time.

With what had looked like Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith‘s entire toolbox flying through the air towards them at the end of last issue’s strip, I wondered how on Earth they were going to get out of that one with less than a second to spare (apparently). I don’t know why I keep trying to guess. Mark Rodgers’ script would always come up with something so ridiculous and J.T. Dogg’s artwork would portray it so perfectly, the randomness of their insane escapes was the main reason I loved them so much!

It all ends with a ‘Coming Soon’ caption, however their next serial wouldn’t be seen until the last days of the comic, their multipart tale all packed into one of the big, fat monthlies. From memory it’ll be a very different beast of a tale but worth the wait. Speaking of waiting, that’s what we’ll have to do for now as we’ve reached the end of another review. The next issue will surprise you but some of the changes weren’t liked by everyone. Personally, these issues to come are my very favourites so I can not wait! Watch out for a special personal post about them over the next two weeks and then #36’s review will be here from Monday 5th September 2022.

iSSUE 34 < > iSSUE 36

OiNK! #33: SUMMER THUG LiFE

25 July 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

When I picked up this issue of OiNK from my newsagent back in 1987 the theme confused me somewhat. I live in Northern Ireland and here our school holidays worked a little differently to those in Great Britain. Our summer hols were a full nine weeks, all of July and August. So waiting until 25th July for a School’s Out theme seemed very strange until my parents explained.

I loved the fact Tom Thug was the cover star at last but unbeknownst to me it was also the first time cartoonist Lew Stringer had produced a cover for a mainstream comic. So you’re looking at a little piece of comics history right there. Eagle-eyed readers will spot a couple of cloud-like lighter patches in the sky but they aren’t clouds. They’re actually the result of water damage when the roof of OiNK’s Manchester offices leaked! Mainly covered up with the logo, I never knew this until Lew told me.

You can check out the original artwork to this cover on Lew’s own blog too.

We kick things off this fortnight with a wonderful double-page spread of The Skool Holliday Diary ov Hadrian Vile (Aged 8 5/8) written by Mark Rodgers and as ever drawn by Ian Jackson. Having Hadrian’s strip in colour was always an event and this one in particular is a treat, as Hadrian takes us through all the ways in which these weeks brought so much freedom. He lists all the things we could now do and all those you no longer had to worry about. It’s a heartwarming tale of childhood freedom, until you look at the pictures.

Keith Disease is forever doomed to live his life as a cheap and tasteless t-shirt print after he was cheeky to a genie

As ever, Hadrian’s view of the world differs greatly from the reality, especially that for his long suffering parents. This is definitely one of my favourite Hadrian strips with every single panel containing hilarious sight gags to go along with the already funny, misspelled text. Lots of lovely little details too when you look closer, such as a Burp-like alien costume, the traffic cone atop the trimmed bird hedge and dad’s foot about to step down on a skate right at the top of the stairs, among many others. Classic stuff.

Next up is Jeremy Banx’s Hector Vector and his Talking T-Shirt, otherwise known as former spoilt brat Keith Disease, forever doomed to live his life as a cheap and tasteless t-shirt print after he was cheeky to a genie. It appears poor, innocent Hector himself is rather doomed as well if this issue’s strip is anything to go by, when he realises it’s got to the stage now where the curse has forever fused them together! (It would be like having an internet troll strapped to your chest.) This makes a shopping spree for a summery Hawaiian shirt a bit of a chore.

Nothing annoyed the eternally grumpy Keith more than Hector’s constant joyfulness and positive outlook in even the most dire of circumstances. You’d think having a foul-mouthed t-shirt forever trying to ruin your life so it can have a laugh at your expense would test the patience of even the jolliest of souls. But more often than not Hector would find solutions to his predicaments, which doubly annoyed Keith, both because his scheming didn’t work and because Hector refused to let Keith get to him.

Some other highlights of this issue include Pete and his Pimple reflecting on his life story, making his pimple wilt out of sight (out of sight being the operative phrase), Rubbish Man catching Boy Blunder skipping school (the story ends with him attending summer school for thick super heroes, tying it back into the theme) and Pigswilla returned in Menace of the Headmaster’s Brain which contained some trade secrets about our teachers.

**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Rubbish Man** by *David Haldane*
**Pigswilla** by *Lew Stringer*

I can remember that line from the Pigswilla prologue, “No more lessons for weeks an’ weeks an’ weeks!” although until now I couldn’t recall which strip or issue it was from. I just remember thinking England didn’t really have that many to shout about, so used was I to our nine weeks. Of course it’s a ridiculous thought, six weeks is still a long time, but I was very young and felt sorry for the English pig pals.

More laughter from Lew comes in the shape of a double dose of Tom Thug this fortnight. He has a half-page strip following on from the cover on page two and towards the rear of the comic he finally returns to his full page allowance (after Uncle Pigg cut him down in #26), with most of it taken up with his wonderful school report card, full of top marks and encouraging comments. I know what you’re thinking, that can’t be right? It is. I just didn’t tell you who wrote it.

In a rare occurrence this particular story of Tom’s is written by Mark Rodgers, the first time this has happened since #4, another issue where Tom had two strips. I particularly love how he just stumbles across a very handy box of blank report cards, an overly convenient plot device that’s perfectly played up to. Not only is Tom our cover star, with two strips inside it’s clear he was a fan favourite and continues to be to this day. As well he should. I always did enjoy the character of his mum, the total antithesis of the rest of her family, but here Tom is able to push even her patience to breaking point.

There are more and more occurrences of jokes from these issues that I’m realising have stayed rent free in my memory over the years. I always loved the Rotten Rhymes series and there was one favourite that stood out above all others. It was a lovely surprise to see it pop up in this issue, and an even lovelier surprise to see it was actually by Davy Francis, an absolute gent who I’ve been able to meet a few times in recent years and who also lives in sunny Northern Ireland (as I do, in case you didn’t know).

Simple. Daft. Funny.

Speaking of jokes that have stayed with me, there’s one on this issue’s Grunts page which, believe it or not, I had to have explained to me back then. This seems so ridiculous now but at the time I didn’t have (nor did any of my friends have) a pet rabbit. Stay with me. Needless to say once I knew what the joke meant it was repeated ad nauseam to everyone I met.

Patrick Gallagher would put these pages together and this is a particularly good example of the material sent in by readers and the cheeky responses they’d get in return from Uncle Pigg. From catching out someone’s porky pies about the annual, to our editor questioning the identity of a letter writer after they say they’re a headmaster, plus news of another Butcher Watch which were always looked forward to.

This is on page 31 and just over the other side, taking up the high profile back cover is our resident smelly, but ever friendly, Burp. Despite something clearly going wrong with the colouring process in the first panel it’s still a wonderful page, even incorporating London’s Alien Registration Office, although repurposing it for actual aliens. This is a perfect example of two things; an OiNK strip that’s just as relevant today as it was at the time (as much as we’d prefer that wasn’t the case), and how important the comic was in my formative years. Have a read and you should see what I mean.

On the surface OiNK was just a cheeky, irreverent comic, full of rude jokes, satire and plops on its staff, but it was so much more to us and not just in the much vaunted (and rightly so) humour, which spoke to us a lot more than traditional comics. Dig a little deeper and you’d find its morals right there on the page, dressed up in comedy and anarchy of course. But whether it was anti-smoking messages, not judging people on their looks (Horace Watkins for example) or even dental care (I’ll show you that one when we get there), they left their indeliable mark on me. The message in this Burp strip is quite obvious and one which I firmly stand behind to this day. I like to think OiNK had a trotter in that.

“Some shops think OiNK is so clever that they won’t display it with the kids’ stuff!”
Uncle Pigg

Just before we round things off do you remember back in #28 how OiNK told its young readers all about the complaint to The Press Council about #7’s Janice and John story, and how the council didn’t uphold the complaint? Well, that didn’t stop WHSmith from placing OiNK on the top shelves with the likes of Viz, far out of reach of the intended audience. My local newsagent didn’t do this and at the time there were none of that chain in Northern Ireland, but it can’t have helped sales in Britain. So Uncle Pigg decided to tell his readers about it next to the order coupon, with what I like to think is the real reason for why pig pals may not have seen it in the shop.

With that we come to the end of another OiNK review and can you believe it, next time we’ll be halfway through the entire run! That halfway point will be reached with the Amazing Adventure Issue, not to be confused with the Magic and Fantasy Issue back in March. There are some exciting developments coming for the comic over the next couple of months, developments I for one can’t wait for. For now, pop back anytime from Monday 8th August 2022 onwards for the next issue.

iSSUE 32 < > iSSUE 34

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OiNK! FREE CRASH EDiTiON

3 July 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This is a somewhat unique addition to OiNK’s run and one I missed out on at the time, despite it being briefly advertised in #32. I can only blame my young self’s lack of attention span for that one. Given away free with #48 of ZX Spectrum computing magazine Crash, this 16-page freebie (the pages are smaller than usual, made to slide inside the A4 Crash) contained all new material from a variety of OiNK contributors. As a tie-in with the new computer game it was an original idea and a smart move, potentially a great way of bringing new readers over to the comic.

I’ve already covered the magazine’s OiNK article which contained an interview with co-editor Tony Husband and a special Frank Sidebottom page, so let’s take a look inside the comic that came with it. We’ve a superb Ian Jackson cover to begin, with Uncle Pigg playing the game on a Spectrum computer which leads to a strip inside featuring him and Mary Lighthouse (critic) in a take on Max Headroom. But it’s across the page from this that things take a turn for the weird.

Lew and Mark decided the strips would work best if they reflected the gameplay

Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple and Tom Thug strips feel a little off and originally I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Pete’s strip has a different name and basically his pimple goes on a bouncing spree (complete with dog-like yelping noises), flattening some bullies in the process. It’s a bit tame compared to normal, and in Tom’s strip he’s driving about in a ‘Thugmobile’ shooting bovver boots out of a cannon at invading zombies! It’s a dream of course. He awakes to say he’s doesn’t know why he’d dream that but his bedroom is full of zombie posters and toys, something never mentioned before in OiNK. How bizarre.

Don’t get me wrong, both are enjoyable strips, however there’s a reason they feel very different than normal. Lew and co-editor Mark Rodgers decided they’d work best if they reflected the gameplay in the OiNK game. But since that didn’t really reflect the comic (and instead was made up of mini-games with the characters shoehorned in) their strips in turn don’t really reflect their usual hilarious outings. Pete’s game was a Breakout clone, bouncing a ball (his pimple) to break bricks, for example. I’m also not quite sure why Pete’s pus is suddenly green, although Patrick Gallagher did confirm they did the colour separations and not Crash.

There are some funny moments here, like the sound effects used in Pete’s strip being classic comic titles such as ‘Pow!’ and ‘Wham!’ and of course the word ‘Crash’ is used as much as possible! David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is the third and final strip of a character featured in the game and unfortunately it’s pretty poor, with Boy Blunder playing the game while our hero dispatches some random vegetable villains in the background. None of his smelly powers (or even his smell) feature at all, so as a pig pal it just feels rather bland.

“He defeated the dreaded Three-headed Politician of Gassbagg!!”
Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom

Much better is the double-page spread in the middle of the comic drawn by J.T. Dogg. Written by Mark Rodgers the title Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom sums up some of the ludicrous names we were subjected to for some of the less-than-great gaming titles back in the 80s. It centres on an arcade machine with somewhat magical powers. Perhaps inspired by Tron, it’s a much more colourful affair with Dogg’s excellent artwork.

With its fast-paced humour, daft ending and some 80s satire it’s the best introduction to OiNK possible for Crash readers. That ending in particular had me laughing. With all of that build up, the heroic deeds and all of Mike’s victories, for it all to be torn down in a couple of sentences and the whole world to fall into despair as a punchline is great stuff. Classic Mark, really. Billed as “An Interactive Comic Strip” for the computer mag, in reality it boils down to a competition for the readers to send in suggestions of what poor Mike saw that turned him into a pile of Angel Delight.

The address for this competition is OiNK’s, meaning the winning entrants would be published in the comic instead of the magazine. We’re almost at a simply superb contribution from Frank, but first here’s a quick look at some of the other highlights. Mary Lighthouse (critic) isn’t too happy with Uncle Pigg’s simulation of her in that Max Headroom-inspired strip, you can see part of Tom Thug’s strange dream based on the game, Harry the Head scares a show off on the school computers and this issue was the perfect place for a reader’s Groovy Graphics.

**Mary Lighthouse** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*
**Harry the Head** by *Marc Riley*

Up next Frank Sidebottom has a text-heavy (which suits the magazine) double-page spread and it contains an extraordinary amount of work on the part of his alter ego, Chris Sievey. From the introduction that pokes some fun at the Sinclair ZX81 (accurate though, so he’s done his research) to his piece about the “fiddly bits inside computers” and his funny facts about the machines (and neighbours) that includes praise for Clive Sinclair’s infamous C5 personal cycle, it’s a delight to read.

It also contains some actual working type-in programs for ZX Spectrum users. These little gems are not only working programs, they’re funny in their own right. Complete with cut-out cassette covers which hilariously had nothing to do with what was on the screen (but none for Little Frank‘s game, naturally), one ‘game’ would basically select a random point on the screen and you had to use your cursor to find it in a trial-and-error fashion. The other was a linear romantic story where all you’d do is hit a key to read the next line and it’d give you a couple of choices to get slightly different compliments about what a nice young woman you are.

Oh and Little Frank’s program prints “l.f. is better than f.s.” at random points on the screen. Silly and pointless, but that in itself was the whole point.

To round things off for potential new OiNK readers what else could be on the back page but a GBH madvertisement? The 80s was a very exciting time for what would become a multi-billion pound industry worth more than the movie and television markets! Everything was brand new and younger people in particular jumped at the chance to become part of it, creating their own games from home, just like a lot of the mainstream games were back then. GBH clearly saw an opening in the market for ripping people off.

The pictures for this were taken by OiNK’s resident photographer John Barry and that lady at the computer (that contraption is so funny in itself!) is John’s wife at the time, Ike Walton. Thanks to co-editor Patrick Gallagher for the info. Unfortunately the names of the children and that wonderful old man have been lost to the mists of time.

If you’re interested in tracking down this unique little issue of OiNK it also includes Billy Bang, Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins, Mr Big Nose, Burp and Hugo the Hungry Hippo. While I do believe some strips would’ve been a much better introduction for their characters and the comic if they hadn’t tried to tie themselves into the game, I completely understand why they chose to do so. It’s still a funny wee comic and a unique edition that no OiNK collection is complete without.

Quite a few posts make up the blog’s coverage of the OiNK game, beginning with the preview in Zzap!64, an in-depth look at the Crash magazine this comic was bundled with and a Retro Gamer article from 2021 containing an interview with the game’s creator. Still to come on is the Zzap!64 review of the game itself and later in the year a couple of issues of Commodore Format in which they gave the game away free but under a different name, then detailed how to beat it.

But probably most excitedly for established pig pals who picked this issue up were the first images of two things coming later in 1987, in a promo by Patrick. Stick with the blog, folks.

iSSUE 30 < > iSSUE 31

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OiNK! #31: BiG! BOLD! BRASH! AMERiCA!

27 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue of OiNK sits on my shelves as a loose collection of pages, although you wouldn’t know it until you picked it up. But if I’m not careful all its pages will fall out and become strewn all over the floor. Why have I taken one of my precious comics apart like this? There’s a very good reason and we’ll get to that later in the review, but for now you’ll just have to trust me when I say I had no choice. Hopefully that’s got you suitably intrigued to stick around for the remainder of this post about the Star-Spangled USA Issue, as if you couldn’t tell from that logo.

Andy Roper’s cover art makes just as big an impression, his King Pong strip the star of the inner pages. The recreation of the famous New York finale makes the perfect cover and the strip itself is written by Mark Rodgers. Rather than ape (sorry) a human character by putting a pig snout on them, Mark has taken another animal and pig-ified them, creating the “giant ape-like pig”, which is a bit of a stretch. But ridiculous scenarios are par for the course with OiNK and the more ludicrous the better, so we’re off to a swinging (sorry again) start.

Cutting the plot of the epic film down to a couple of pages we do without the love story, instead when King Pong’s smell gets too much for the city his captor turns into that favourite villain of OiNK’s, a butcher. Taking him captive in return it’s up the Empire State Building we go and just when you think it can’t get any more silly the sad ending is swapped out for a really, really stupid heroic getaway. Wrap it all up in one of the comic’s trademark pun-riddled morals and it’s another classic.

The amount of tiny details Andy squeezes in over the two pages is remarkable, with plenty to keep the eyes occupied and the reader chortling along. From one iconic American character to another, new OiNK writer Vaughan Brunt makes his debut with The American Super-Hero, drawn by Mike Green. I remember telling my friends in school about this one. I took every chance I could to highlight OiNK’s jokes, especially when it was parodying something they enjoyed. I was always trying to make pig pals out of them.

Vaughan would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether before moving on. While he was solely a writer (a very funny writer) on the comic, away from the sty he’s an accomplished artist. While he doesn’t have his own online presence, a fan site for classic television series The Prisoner includes an art gallery of his paintings of Portmeirion, Wales where the show was set. You can check out his work here. Remembering those OiNK spoofs (such as Ann Martin‘s Watery Down and Simon Thorp’s movie posters) it’s such a shame Vaughan didn’t draw for the comic in his gorgeous painted style too.

Hadrian Vile’s strip returns to its diary format with some big news for him and his family. Writer Mark Rodgers and artist Ian Jackson’s creation is about to have a baby sibling. As I’ve pointed out before Hadrian’s age increased in OiNK’s birthday issue and now we’d see his mum’s pregnancy for a number of months almost in real time, from the moment Hadrian notices her belly and her rather strange appetite (to say the least). What we have here is a typically funny Hadrian strip with a surprisingly sweet ending.

Hadrian would continue to make his mark on his mum’s pregnancy and in the end we’d see the big day arrive in a family-orientated issue with a special three-page strip. That’ll be in the latter part of this year. I do remember the strip didn’t go down the well-trodden route of the rebellious boy not having any interest with a cutesy baby in his life or disliking his younger sibling. Instead, Hadrian was instantly besotted and took her under his wing as his potential protégé! The regular strip was already a favourite, but with things like this it became an even more unique and original OiNK highlight.

OiNK had an eclectic style, drawing in established artists from the world of children’s comics, adult newspapers and magazines, as well as a range of younger contributors whose careers were only beginning. While other comics may have given the established cartoonists the larger pieces of work and the newcomers the smaller strips, in OiNK they were all treated as equals. For example, alongside those new to the world of kids’ comics were the likes of Mike Higgs, this issue contributing a simple half-page strip about the Statue of Liberty taking a hygiene break.

A couple of highlights from Steve Gibson’s contributions are next. At this point in the run Steve’s style was being used mainly to illustrate quizzes and fact sheet pages, such as the Coast-to-Coast Quiz where we see his version of Snatcher Sam aka Marc Riley, and then Hogathan King brings us Entertainments USA and a recently released cinema flop was squarely in Steve’s sights.

The next highlight was an easy choice to include. Jeremy Banx’s Mr Big Nose has done many things, such as playing Rambo in Little Bo Beep, having Christmas dinner with a turkey and hoovering with a dolphin (named Keith), but here in just half a page he succinctly sums up the US of A like no one else could. A publication like Private Eye could run this strip today and it’d be met with just as many laughs.

If any part of this issue could summarise the attitude OiNK had towards America it was that.

So why is my copy of #31 of my favourite comic of all time falling apart at the seams? Because it doesn’t have its staples anymore. But it’s not my fault they had to be removed. In the centre of this issue is a superb J.T. Dogg Street-Hogs poster showing Dirty Harry trailing a reluctant Hoggy Bare into action. But this is only one half of a double-sized gift from our ever-so-generous Uncle Pigg.

My personal favourite is the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin

The top half featuring Emma Pig and Hi-Fat can be found on the inside front and back covers, so to put the whole thing together kids were instructed to carefully undo the staples (don’t just pull!) and remove the middle poster, then pull the staples out from the rest of the comic, put the cover pages to the side and then somehow push the staples back in through the remaining 24 pages. Unless you have one of those really long office staplers that is impossible, it certainly was for me at this ripe old age never mind back then (I never pulled it apart as a child).

But in order to show you this as intended I couldn’t just pick up the middle of the comic and try to get a photo of the inside covers, so just for you lot my copy shall forever fall apart. See what I do for this site? Anyway, it really is a thing of beauty, just like all J.T. Dogg art. I also love the names of the bikes which I don’t think have been mentioned before; the Hogley-Davison Porkchopper 222, the Yakawaki Trikey-Wikey 5000 and my personal favourite the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin, a little dig at the Sinclair C5 personal electric cycle from the 80s.

The ‘Hogs will be back in the next issue with the start of their brand new adventure The Day of the Triffics, which was first name checked way back in #11. This, along with the back page of #27 acted as a way of hyping up the readership for their long-awaited return, although it was kind of lost on me because I hadn’t read their earlier strip, what with my first issue being #14. The artwork looked wonderful though and very funny, but nothing could prepare me for how much I’d fall in love with the characters just two weeks after these posters.

This issue has a “fantastic” back page too. When you flip the comic over you might think there’s been a printing error because it’s upside down but in reality it’s just another clever gag on the part of Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom. Frank’s showbiz career and (probably more importantly) lifestyle was his main running gag, with strips featuring him mingling with celebrities who in reality were cut-out photos glued to the page. With this issue of OiNK and you’ll see he’s taken it to the next level as a cover star of Time magazine.

Having this printed upside down means the comic opens on the correct side of this faux cover, which in itself is a little bit of genius. As ever, his attempts to convince us of his worldwide fame are hilariously portrayed. For example, one very quick glance at the background of the supposed Yellowstone National Park photograph will give the game away. Chris’ creations, showing his character’s poor attempts at creating a fictional reality around Frank’s ego were always a highlight and actually, as fun as the strips were, I think I preferred it when he did stuff like this.

I’ve (carefully) placed the comic back on to the shelf now as we’ve come to the end of yet another review. The next issue of OiNK is themed around sport which is not my favourite topic (Olympics aside) so it’ll be interesting to see how it tickles my funny bone. Remember, just the day before this review was published there was an in-depth look at Crash magazine #42 which featured an interview with OiNK’s three human editors and a lot more besides. The special free issue of OiNK given away with that magazine also has its own review. If you need to, catch up on those and then #32 of the regular comic will be here from Monday 11th July. Phew! See you soon I hope.

CRASH EDiTiON < > iSSUE 32

OiNK! #30: THE SPiTTiNG iMAGE OF FUN!

13 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This cover really takes me back and I’m not just talking abut OiNK itself. I’m clearly referencing the classic puppet satire show Spitting Image, whose characters were used in this edition. I was also a big fan of the series even if at that age a lot of the jokes went over my head. But there were always enough to keep me giggling for half an hour on a Sunday night. For our 30th issue they’ve collaborated with Uncle Pigg for the results of the OiNK Awards as voted for by pig pals.

We’ll get to that in a bit, although you can see from the front cover who won The World’s Biggest Wally. We kick off with our final set of free postcards, plonked in the middle of the award ceremony itself. Following up on Jeremy Banx and Lew Stringer is Ian Jackson with these brilliant Uncle Pigg and Mary Lighthouse (critic) cards. I think both of these would’ve been great advertisements in other comics for OiNK, or made for very funny postcards to drop through the letterbox of unsuspecting family members waiting for a picturesque beach or mountaintop.

The issue itself begins with Mary’s own strip welcoming us to the subject of celebrities. Written as ever by Mark Rodgers and again drawn by Ian, she’s disgusted that respected famous people would be getting the OiNK treatment like this, but thinks the inclusion of herself on one of the postcards will send the right message. Naturally, it doesn’t quite work out as she planned and my favourite funny moment here comes right at the end with that poor policeman.

There’s another very important award to hand out this issue, the ‘Most Helpful Superhero Award’ so surely that means our resident high-flying, highly smelly Rubbish Man by David Haldane is up for a gong. Well no, apparently his whiffy antics aren’t award material. While he can make a hash of things, most times he does end up saving the day, but with that comes the pong and the mess left behind; not of destroyed buildings and terrified citizens but of mouldy mashed potatoes and cold spaghetti bolognese left everywhere. However, now he’s on a mission to prove he deserves recognition as a true hero.

This is one of my favourite Rubbish Man strips and contains nearly all of the elements that made David’s creation so enjoyable. We’ve got a ridiculous situation to begin with, an introduction of another completely random enemy character, an unsurpassed level of ever-increasing daftness in every single panel, our hero trying his best but failing epically and an ending you won’t see coming. In fact, the only thing missing is those aforementioned rotting foodstuffs he’d secrete from various parts of his body, with only his stench in the first panels reminding us of his unwelcome powers.

Even an old armchair can be a superhero in Haldane’s world, and even an old armchair that’s in the right spot by pure chance is a more welcome hero for the populace it would seem. Poor Rubbish Man. But Jimmy Bung (his alter-ego) isn’t the only character whose attempts at helping others regularly backfires, as equally (if not, more so) smelly alien Burp can attest. In this issue his latest invention teleports fast food straight into people’s stomachs so they don’t have to taste it but as always it doesn’t go quite as planned, as you can see in one of this issue’s many highlights. Also, check out Steve Gibson’s fruity version of Dustin Hoffman on the celebrity news page and our Wonder Pig gets yet another new name.

**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Nigel Hamster Diary** drawn by *Steve Gibson*
**Lattie** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*

It’s time for the main event. With categories such as Worst Pop Group, Worst Dressed Person, Unfunniest Comedian and even Worst Comic, the readers of OiNK didn’t hold back in sharing what they thought of celebrities and 80s culture. There are quite a few on the shortlist, and even some I was a huge fan of at the time but it was all in good jest, giving the young readers the chance to take their own pot shots at the likes of those OiNK had targeted since the very beginning.

Taking up four pages in the middle of the issue we first get a chance to see each of the ten categories and the top three contenders in each, assembled by co-editor Patrick Gallagher. This opens out into the spread in the middle of the comic with those glorious Spitting Image Workshop puppets accepting the awards (a printed piece of card on a lanyard), although there was a particular recipient who looked incredibly lifelike as you’ll see. Tony Husband organised the photoshoot with the programme and Ian Tilton was the photographer (as an aside, Ian’s brother Mark was in the band The Creepers with OiNK’s Marc Riley), with radio DJ John Peel presenting the Most Annoying DJ Award. John had already contributed to #16 and had even played the flexidisc on air.

Kudos to Steve Wright for playing along. Tony told me recently Steve was great on the day and had a brilliant sense of humour about the whole thing when he found out. Given who helped with this it’s a surprise to see The Chicken Song take away the World’s Worst Pop Song Award. Although let’s face it, Spitting Image’s song was purposefully written to be very annoying, a parody of the string of summer pop entries that were filling the 80s charts. Bob Geldof and Ronald Reagan get well-deserved titles, although I can’t help but disagree with George Michael‘s and I’ve at least a few female friends who might take issue with the pig pals over that one.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series

All British comics are eclipsed by Beano, a regular target of OiNK’s for its safe humour and out-of-date characters at the time so it had a good chance of winning the Worst Comic Award. It’s completely reimagined itself over the intervening years and today contains a lot of rebellious, anarchic humour that would make Uncle Pigg proud, not least thanks to some cartoonists who grew up with our piggy publication. It’s a great comic and if you’ve any kids yourselves then you should definitely take advantage of the superb online subscription offers they always run.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series, the puppets of which were designed by co-creator/editor Patrick Gallagher, and later in the 90s he’d be a commissioned writer on Spitting Image for six years. What a shame this was the only awards ceremony the comic would do, despite these being labelled as the first. It’s brilliant fun and looked like it was a blast to be a part of. As far as this reader is concerned it remains one of the most memorable highlights of the comic’s whole run. For now, let’s move on to something more “interleckshual”.

Hadrian Vile’s unique perspective perfectly matches the subject matter here. Taking a fresh look at the royals, politicians and more from the viewpoint of a child is a good idea on its own, but Hadrian’s character elevates it. He always thought of himself as being intellectually superior to pretty much everyone around him, so his child’s viewpoint is presented very matter-of-fact, very seriously in his young mind. Of course this means it’s all completely bonkers, just perfect for the 80s in fact.

Written by Mark Rodgers and illustrated by Ian Jackson, it’s always funny to see Ian’s interpretation of famous people, his jagged, exaggerated style perfectly capturing personalities as well as looks. In a way this page seems to go hand-in-hand with all of the television puppets contained in this issue. It’s also not the only time that British Prime Minister popped up in the issue, in fact she gets a starring role in the origin story of a certain critic and nemesis of our editor hog.

Two legs bad. Four legs better.
Davey’s Jones’ Prime Monster

Davey Jones brings us Prime Monster (as ever with Davey it’s even signed in a silly way), which takes place a few decades before the 80s when we find two young girls by the names of Margaret and Mary down on the pig farm. The two spoilt brats have reckoned with the wrong set of little piglets to bully because in amongst their number is one teeny tiny pig who has already got the prerequisite pencil behind his ear. Amongst all the chaos Davey has even seen fit to include a couple of very OiNK-like riffs on a famous George Orwell quote. A great strip. Here it is, have fun.

Of course these two women would’ve been the best of childhood friends! At least in OiNKtown anyway. Yes, the characters and their stories were set in ‘OiNKtown’, a basic take on Beanotown. In the earlier issues PORKsmouth was used a couple of times but more as a place to ridicule and, obviously, somewhere Mary Lighthouse loved to visit. Surely Porksmouth would’ve been a better name than OiNKtown though? Anyway, I digress (as I do). For now that’s the end of the review, with just enough space to tell you about what’s coming up next.

The next regular OiNK will be an all-American issue and its review will be here from Monday 13th June 2022 but before that there’s a special extra to watch out for in the shape of Crash magazine #42. Regular readers of the blog will know what this is in reference to, but if you’re not up to speed go and check out the post about Zzap!64 #26 from last month. Crash not only contained an interview with OiNK’s three creators and an original Frank Sidebottom page, there was also the small matter of a special, free, original 16-page edition of our favourite comic! Check out Crash from Saturday 25th June, the free OiNK a few days later. It was an exciting time to be a pig pal in 1987, I hope I can recreate a little of that excitement right here.

iSSUE 29 < > CRASH EDiTiON

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COMiNG UP: OiNK! #30

10 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Remember those OiNK Awards back in #18, the first issue of 1987? The comic asked its young readership to vote on everything from World’s Biggest Wally to Most Irritating DJ. Well, the results are in. In the next issue of OiNK it’ll be time to see exactly what us pig pals thought of the world of celebrity back in the 1980s. Better still, a certain puppet-based satire TV show steps in to help out. This one is going to be good.

Highlights in the review will also include Rubbish Man‘s own attempts to receiving an award and finally get some recognition, Hadrian Vile breaks down famous people of the 80s for us in his inimitable style and we have an origin story for Mary Lighthouse (critic) with a special guest star. Not a surprise guest star though. This Iron Lady just had to be friend’s with Uncle Pigg’s nemesis, as you’ll see. The review for #30 of OiNK will be right here from Monday 13th June 2022.

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OiNK! #29: MUSiC TO MY EARS

30 May 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Okay, so full disclosure before we kick off this review: I bloody love 80s music! During that decade, as the youngest of five children I heard a constant stream of music coming from the bedrooms of my siblings. Sunday afternoons would find them all in one room listening to the radio chart show, and Top of the Pops gathered the family together every week (usually with complaints from the parents). One-by-one as my brother and sisters moved out in the 90s they’d leave their cassettes behind and I began to discover my own musical tastes. Decades later songs from the 1980s fills up the majority of my Apple Music library.

So with that in mind I’m very happy to introduce you to #29 of OiNK, the Nasty, Noisy Music Issue which kicks off with another fun Ian Jackson cover and more free postcards. Having Ian’s jagged, colourful Uncle Pigg serenading critic Mary Lighthouse promises much hilarity inside and it’s not a spoiler to say that promise is well kept. Prolific OiNK cartoonist Lew Stringer brings his two famous creations Pete and his Pimple and Tom Thug to the pieces of card tucked away in the centre of the comic, and thus began pimples and bird droppings zooming around the world’s postal services in the summer of ’87.

Upon opening the comic the first thing I saw on the Grunts page (compiled by co-editor Patrick Gallagher) was an apology to a Madonna fan club for a cheeky reference to the pop star back in #16, the pop music issue. You can see the original ‘Celebrity Lookalike’ they ran with the so-called apology underneath. Of course, the club members should’ve known better, or perhaps they would’ve fully expected Uncle Pigg to make a joke of it somehow. But they definitely should’ve provided their address, that bit of ridicule was completely their own fault.

I always loved the variety of input from readers on the Grunts pages and this is a great example. If you ever featured in the pages of OiNK do drop me a line in the comments here or on the blog’s social media (Instagram, Facebook). I’ve a list of every contribution made by readers so I’ll happily dig yours out. I have to say I do particularly like the ‘Set of LPs’ promo here too.

Just a few turns of the page later there’s the latest photo story but this one has some very special guest stars. Post-punk band The Mekons were headlined by Jon Langford, a musician and artist who had already contributed some anarchic art to OiNK. He and Marc Riley are good mates and at the time were putting together a tribute album to Johnny Cash, an album that’s even been attributed to reviving Cash’s career! (The cover of which was drawn by Jon with help from Mike Taylor, an editorial assistant and artist on OiNK.)

For this issue Jon wasn’t just going to draw a strip, he was going to star in it and he brought his bandmates with him. Going by the name The Mekoneros it took place in the Wild West (filmed in Yorkshire) and was set to a song about ‘The Devil’s Herd of Pigs’. Jon himself stars as Bad Jake and looks to be having the best time gurning to the camera and, as with all OiNK photo strips, exaggerating every movement and story beat.

This wouldn’t be the last time we’d see The Mekons in a photo story either, they’d come back to fight off dinosaurs (well, cheap dinosaur toys) in a trip to the distant past in that typical OiNK fashion not being wholly unconvincing.

Jimmy (The Cleaver) Smith’s look was perfect, a fantastically creepy design that thrilled the young pig-loving readers

Next up Tony Husband pens a ghost story brought to the page by artist Les ‘Lezz’ Barton. It keeps all of the usual trappings of such a tale while weaving in the theme of the issue and having a genuinely laugh-out-loud ending. A staple of ghost stories are the lone figures found to return time and again to one particular place, often performing a particular action from their life or accompanied by a horrible, terrifying noise, perhaps related to the moment of their death or a past traumatic event.

I love Tony’s fresh twist on this idea, while also answering the mystery of how to accurately describe the noice bagpipes make. Tony expertly plays up to traditional ghost stories and stereotypes with affection and gentle digs, from the initial set up to the overuse of the phrase “the noo”, with that ending providing the biggest laugh of course.

Jeremy Banx brings us a Butcher Watch Re-update (after all a simple ‘Update’ or ‘Part Two’ is just too normal) on the whereabouts of notorious butcher (and the comic’s in-house nemesis) Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith. Now established as a firm fan favourite, Jimmy would appear randomly for the rest of the comic’s run, even in a regular strip in the weekly issues as the villain of a piece about a famous butcher-hunting pig. Jimmy’s look was perfect, a fantastically creepy design that thrilled the young pig-loving readers.

That panel with the caption about the possibility of him being in the reader’s house, while he silently clambers in through an open window at night is especially unsettling. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a criticism about unsettling images in a kid’s comic, not at all, we lapped this up! We loved the shudder strips like this gave us and the more horrific Jimmy’s antics were the better! Of course, there was never anything actually unsuitable, he was more like our version of a good Doctor Who villain for the kids; someone to thrill us from the safety of our comic’s pages.

Just before we move on I had to include another of Jeremy’s classic characters, Mr Big Nose. Co-editor Tony Husband once told me he loved Jeremy’s work so much because he would just let his mind go wherever it led, and that’s the best way of describing his OiNK work. Here, Mr Big Nose is putting on a sold-out concert where he hums popular songs, because of course he would.

The joke is right there in the first panel of the strip and it’s just played out again and again over the next four. But it doesn’t get stale. In fact that’s what I find so funny about it, how we get example after example of the ridiculous set up. Genius. As always.

Other highlights this issue include educating the young ‘uns about classic music with Beethoven, in The Golden Trough Awards: The Piano From Hell! piano lessons bite back, there’s a special (and I quote) “Psy-Psy-ss-Psycho-o Gr-Gr-an-Gran Rap’ and Helen Jones and Graham Exton make cameos (whether they like it or not) in A Yung Person’s Gyde to the Orkistra bi Hadrian Vile. Helen was co-editor Mark Rodgers partner and Graham a close friend.

**Beethoven** by *Mike Green*
**Golden Trough Awards** written by *Tony Husband*,
drawn by *Pete Dredge*
**Psycho Gran** by *David Leach*
**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*

Madonna’s face isn’t the only link back to #16’s pop music theme. That issue also had the most unique competition I’ve ever seen in a comic, to win a pop concert in your own home. Le Lu Lus were fans of OiNK and contacted the team about collaborating. This ultimately resulted in Martin Benster from Prestwich and his friends (as well as his poor mum) watching a performance of the band in the comfort of their own house. Best of all a full strip was created so Martin could actually appear in the comic, with his mum as part of the punchline at the end.

On the back cover is a glorious colour pin up from Simon Thorp and it’s just the first in a line of spoof movie posters that would become fan favourites over the next several months. From RoboChop to Butcherbusters, Simon’s brilliant take on popular movies with a piggy twist are some of the most requested pages for inclusion on this blog. He kicks off his semi-regular series with The Sownd of Music.

Simon even includes credits, with everything reworded into piggy puns and ploppy parodies, right down to the little production company name beside the title and his take on Cinemascope. Back when movie posters were all hand-painted rather than photographs or CGI these really felt close to the original designs. However, even with all that hard work Simon has put into creating that brilliant image I laughed the most at the simplest little joke, the movie’s certificate; adding just one lower case ‘i’ ends the issue with one of its best gags.

That’s us for another two weeks. The next issue of OiNK is very special indeed. Do you remember those silly award categories readers were asked to send in nominations for back in the Hogmanay issue at the start of the year? It’s nearly time to find out how they all voted. It’s a who’s-who of 80s culture, all brought to life by none other than Spitting Image! It’s an absolute hoot and the highlights will be here in the next review from Monday 13th June 2022.

iSSUE 28 < > iSSUE 30

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OiNK! #27: OFF THE LEASH

2 May 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Last issue aside we’ve had an almost unbroken run of Ian Jackson covers (including the Holiday Special) and his latest introduces us to the Big, Soft Pets Issue. I’ve always loved pets, even though we never really had any when I was a child, but nowadays I look after a late friend’s cat regularly and if I’m out and about and come across one everything stops while I chat to them in the hope of a little pet on their head. With lavatory humour right there on the front page (quite literally) it’s a funny start to the comic’s second year. Unsurprisingly, there are no pet pigs inside. They were on an equal footing with us in the world by now.

Last month in #23‘s review I told you about a time back at school when a friend erupted in the middle of a class and narrowly escaped getting into trouble because of OiNK. Then just a few weeks ago I explained how a similar situation led to a great deal of embarrassment for me as an adult in a hospital waiting room. We’re continuing the trend here because I’d forgotten how the following Vernon the Vet page produced yet another moment like these back in my school days. There’s a theme here, isn’t there? Can you guess which part of this resulted in a friend going into an uncontrollable giggle fit?

Well of course it was the moment Vernon fed medication to the wrong end of a St Bernard! Vernon had appeared in three of the early issues in tiny little entries, sometimes squeezed in next to a strip with advice for pet owners. Obviously his tips were always terrible. It was great to see him upgraded to a full page, drawn here by Wilkie (Eric Wilkinson), who wasn’t with the comic when the character originally appeared. Unfortunately, apart from this very page being reprinted in the final edition (the OiNK! Summer Collection, released in 1990) this would be the last we’d ever see of Vernon.

The promo for this issue in #26 featured Roger Rental so it’s rather strange to see he’s not actually present. However, his artist Ian Knox certainly is as he puts his talents to use in bringing a Tony Husband script to life. The story features a one-off character called Neville Stockport, otherwise known as superhero The Amazing Crablad. Ian’s work is easily identifiable but in this particular strip there are instances where I felt like he could’ve been subconsciously channelling his inner John Geering, which is never a bad thing obviously.

I love Ian’s work, always have, and I’m not saying this was the case, it just reminds me of the toothless great white shark Gums created for Monster Fun and originally drawn by Roy Davis. I knew the strip from the pages of Big Comic Fortnightly which reprinted later stories which John drew and I get that same energy here. Neville wouldn’t make another appearance in OiNK for obvious reasons.

This would be the last we’d see of these kinds of stories, and of Daz himself, until the final issue

It’s been a while since we’ve read a nice, sweet bedtime story illustrated by Daz (Dave Skillin). These were such a common experience last year, the first appearing in the premiere issue. It’s a bit of a recurring theme with Daz for there to be some form of magical item (or this case an animal) and for the protagonist’s surname to rhyme with it, usually by just changing the first letter of course. In #1 we had Billy Bat and his Magic Hat, here we’ve got a magic kangaroo, so naturally Bangaroo is the person we end up with.

As usual it’s all told with rhyming captions and seems like a normal(-ish) children’s story until about halfway through, when it suddenly takes a turn for the unexpected to say the least. This would actually be the last we’d see of these kinds of stories, and of Daz himself, until the very final issue. So it’s just as well this one is so good and it’s all down to that very final caption where we find the traditional moral of the tale ( and I thought Graham Exton‘s puns were good/bad).

I hope you groaned and/or laughed as much as I did. This issue has so many highlights but I’ve painstakingly chosen a few to give you a sense of the issue as a whole. Frank Sidebottom’s guide to pets is as unique as you’d expect and his depiction of what’s really under the surface of those Loch Ness monster sightings is fantastic. Burp‘s internal organs’ independence takes a bold new leap and I’m not sure what’s funnier, his liver being a supervillain or the fact the disguise actually worked.

A rather strange addition is Daft Dog because it’s exactly the same joke as the Henry the Wonder Dog strip from #13 and there’s a lovely double-page spread for Zootown‘s pet show which contains this funny little gag below. Finally, Lashy the Wonder Pig from #18 makes a welcome return with his first of many name changes to Laffie. While it’s just as ridiculous as last time I adore this panel which brings a lovely little shadowy sunset atmosphere to the hilarity and a little sense of the heroic to the pig in question.

**Frank’s Guide to Pets** by *Chris Sievey*
**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Daft Dog** by *Tony Husband*
**Zootown** by *David Haldane*
**Laffie** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*

There’s a treasure trove of smaller strips here. While that could be said of every edition of OiNK, they’re of a particularly high standard this time with many memorable entries that have stood the test of time inside my ageing memory. The fact they’re so tiny and still stand out so much is testament to their quality and the genius of their writers and cartoonists. Out of all of these the largest is (suitably enough) David Haldane’s Hugo the Hungry Hippo. A disaster for all mankind, he takes a break from eating our cities this issue to show us just how lovable he really was.

The quarter-page mini-strips this issue, those between one and three panels in length and guaranteed to produce a quick laugh, nail it so perfectly. Always a great addition to any OiNK, by design or coincidence this issue they’re all classics. I’ve selected just three of them to show you what I mean and first up is Derek Blinge, who had previously appeared in #9.

One panel, one line of dialogue, one funny facial expression and we’re done! Davy’s quick wit on full display

Originally written by Davy to be drawn by Ed McHenry, Ed was ill at the time and waiting for a triple bypass operation. With a few scripts written, when Ed became sick co-editor Mark Rodgers asked Davy to draw them instead. The name was also changed from ‘Plinge’ to ‘Blinge’ to keep them separate but as it turned out only two of the scripts would see print, in this issue and the second Holiday Special, both drawn by Davy. Ed’s Plinge would eventually return in a full-page strip in #61.

Below that is another Davy creation, Doctor Mad-Starkraving. First appearing in Greedy Gorb three issues ago this was the first time he got his own little corner of the comic. One panel, one line of dialogue, one funny facial expression and we’re done! Davy’s quick wit on full display here. Just brilliant. The doctor would reappear another six times, four of those towards the end of OiNK’s run in the monthlies. Then lastly for these highlights there’s a one-off which will have an air of the familiar for two reasons.

Anyone familiar with Whizzer and Chips (or indeed Big Comic Fortnightly where I knew him from) will remember Sid’s Snake, the regular cover star whose pet snake was a ginormous but friendly snake. For OiNK, Jake’s Snake makes a little fun of the premise, even including a pattern on the snake that’s a riff on the original. The art style may be familiar to some too, those initials in the second panel standing for Simon Thorp who is best known today for being one of the editorial team behind Viz, which he has worked on since the time of OiNK. He’d contribute to 22 issues of our piggy publication altogether, most fondly remembered for his gorgeous spoof movie posters, so look out for some of them in future reviews.

OiNK writer Graham Exton talked to me once about the inspiration behind the strip, namely the original Sid’s Snake (who you can see on the cover of this book) and how it would often be referred to as “that bloody snake” by writers because it was so difficult to come up with something original and genuinely funny for. As such, few liked working on it so it’d be given to new writers as a way of proving themselves, but mainly because no one else wanted to do it!

Steve Gibson returns with another very funny selection of little drawings and captions (see also his Watch the Skies from #25) and this time he brings us a fascinating selection of Amazing But True facts from the world of nature, the first example being my particular favourite. Expecting the cheetah fact to be reflected we instead get more information than we possibly wanted about an elephant. Surprising, inventive and funny, Steve will return to OiNK more and more regularly I’m very happy to say.

That’s almost your lot from this issue but the back page had one more big surprise in store for pig pals. Finally, 16 issues after they last appeared came news of the next Street-Hogs story, Day of the Triffics (which had actually been referenced way back in #11). As a child I’d missed out on their first adventure so to me this may not have been the exiting return it was advertised as, but the artwork and the premise presented here was certainly enough. (I’ve no idea who ‘Kevin’ is, this issue was purchased on eBay.)

Now in 2022 I can’t wait, both from the perspective of a Street-Hogs fan and of someone who has seen more than one version of Day of the Triffids in the intervening years. Take that story and place it into the hands of writer Mark Rodgers and artist J.T. Dogg and this could be the best thing OiNK has produced yet. Time will tell. The ‘Hogs return in #31 with a special two-part poster before the cliffhanging spoof kicks off in #32. I just know it’ll be worth the wait.

Before then we’ve got an ample supply of superb content coming up, with #27‘s (the Flying Issue) review here from Monday 16th May 2022. Watch out for a memorable spoof of a certain high-flying, building-leaping superhero as he hogs the limelight on the cover and in a brilliant strip inside. Don’t miss it. Subscribe to the blog (click on the link in the bottom corner as you scroll) or follow along on Instagram or Facebook to be notified when there are any new posts. See you next time!

iSSUE 26 < > iSSUE 28

OiNK! HOLiDAY SPECiAL #1: HAM-MOCK HOG

11 April 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

The first special edition of OiNK arrived alongside #25 and a fortnight before the first birthday issue. It was surely a time for pig pals to celebrate. An absolute treat, the 1987 Holiday Special is a “big, fat” comic made up of 48 pages and is chock full of our favourite characters and loads of one-off content all linked to the summer holiday vibe. It kicks off with possibly one of my very favourite comic covers of all time; a brilliantly set up photograph of a model clay Uncle Pigg lounging in his hammock, cooled off by critic Mary Lighthouse who, along with everything else, is a cardboard cut out.

It’s a piece of pure genius from Ian Jackson and so distinct is it in my memory I can recall taking it with me on holiday a few months after I got it to read all over again, the cover drawing attention and laughs from some of my older siblings. I think one or two of them actually read it as a result. Of course, this wasn’t the last time modelling clay was used to produce an OiNK cover. In fact, it would create the most memorable one of all, one that would be the face (literally) of what remains my favourite childhood book to this day, The OiNK! Book 1988. You’ll see that towards the end of the year.

Put these two OiNK titans together and you get Herbert Bowes, a man with a dog up his nose!

The first interior highlight for me is a double whammy of strips featuring a character we’d only see in this issue. They’re written by Graham Exton, a writer who contributed so much to OiNK and who was instrumental in the creation of some of its characters. It’s barmy, completely ridiculous and so perfectly captured by one of my favourite cartoonists, Jeremy Banx. Jeremy’s artwork lends itself wonderfully to random one-off strips and he has a hilariously surreal sense of humour. Put these two OiNK titans together and you get Herbert Bowes, a man with a dog up his nose!

You wouldn’t have seen the likes of this in any other summer special on the shelf, that’s for sure. While OiNK would never fail to surprise us, regular readers were accustomed to the random nature of the comic and I do wonder what those who picked up the specials for a holiday trip, or who received the annuals for Christmas without having read the comic would’ve thought. I’d love to have seen their reactions and, if my friends were anything to go by, hear their surprised laughter.

Speaking of surprising laughter.

Back when I was writing the previous blog I took this edition to the hospital with me one day to pass the time in the waiting room before my appointment. I had a little chuckle inwardly to myself over Herbert Bowes and moved on, but then a few pages later something rather embarrassing happened which I simply had no control over. Billy Connolly once spoke about what he called “real laughter”. Not the “ha, ha, ha” kind, but the loud, involuntary noise that can erupt from our mouths when something surprising really hits our funny bone. Surrounded by a lot of very serious looking people in that waiting room, I was in completely the wrong place for that to happen. Then I turned the page and saw the title of the next strip.

I erupted. It was only for a second because I caught myself and tried to stop it coming out but it was too late. In hindsight I’d have been better letting it happen, at least everyone else would’ve actually known I was laughing! Instead, what came out was a loud honk before I closed my mouth, my body shaking a little from wanting to carry on. I have no idea what they all thought of me, I could feel them looking but my gaze never left the comic, too embarrassed to look up. I’m not one to care about what other people think of me, but I can’t help wonder. I mean, you should’ve heard that honk.

The final reveal never fails to make me laugh, no matter how often I see this

It was worth it though. I quickly scanned the rest of the special to see if there were any other surprises in store from this character but alas there were none. Graham and Jeremy’s creation would unfortunately never reappear, even though Graham tells me a third episode was planned in which Herbert had the Starship Enterprise up his nose. Despite this being a one-time appearance he’ll remain a memorable addition to OiNK.

The same can be said of the next little treasure, a half-page strip written by David Haldane and drawn by Pete Dixon, this being his sole contribution to OiNK. This is also the first time I’ve noticed the Rubbish Man and Hugo the Hungry Hippo‘s cartoonist writing for anybody else. I can’t help but read this while in my head increasingly dramatic music accompanies each successive panel, that final reveal never (never, ever) failing to make me laugh, no matter how often I see this.

Only in OiNK.

While the focus for me with this edition is very much the one-offs, the special strips and features produced to accompany us on our hols, some of the regular characters have some classic stories to tell. My favourite is The Hollyday Diary ov Hadrian Vile in which he, his dog and his parents head to the beach. Written as ever by Mark Rodgers and brought to life by Ian Jackson this is arguably the funniest strip yet for the eight and five-eighths-year-old and it’s a ton of fun.

It all starts off innocently enough. For once, Hadrian isn’t making mischief as the story begins. In fact, for the most part his intentions are actually good, apart from the outrageous lie he tells when those good intentions land him in hot water. So it begins with him spending some quality time with his dad, burying him in the sand as a lot of young children love to do, while his dad catches forty winks in the sun. It’s after he returns from collecting his usual array of disgusting things that it all takes a turn for the worse.

My two favourite moments here are when Hadrian returns to find nothing but his dad’s hat and the worst thought that enters his mind is being sent to bed without supper. Then directly below is that hilarious panel of a passing stranger frantically racing the tide to free the poor man from the sand. The middle panel of his mum standing with folded arms glaring down upon Hadrian would become something of a running joke in the regular comic too. As the other family members became more prominent we’d see this expression often and it was funny every time.

Time to have a quick look at a smorgasbord of highlights this special edition offers up. Rubbish Man is on holiday and even though we have a giant fried egg monster I can’t help but laugh at the jokes at the expense of English vacationers (and where they choose to holiday). When a young Tom Thug tries to bully a baby we get the origin of his bent nose and in Sgt. Barnpot and his Screaming Maniacs the lead character thinks we’re still at war with everyone because of comics, and Lew Stringer takes a little shot at the ever-merging titles of the day.

**Rubbish Man** by *David Haldane*
**Frank Sidebottom** by *Chris Sievey*
**Tom Thug** & **Sgt. Barnpot** by *Lew Stringer*

It appears even our resident alien Burp isn’t a fan of English tourists (both Rubbish Man’s and Burp’s cartoonists are English) and on his trip around the galaxy his holiday snaps produced uproarious laughter in kids everywhere (well, it did for me anyway) and we’ve a Frank Sidebottom board game which could be played with some absolutely lovely player pieces. The Thunderbirds one is my favourite. Finally, Tom’s Toe made a very welcome return in a story about pollution and climate change which had a rather unique solution to the ever-growing problem.

**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Tom’s Toe** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *John Geering*

As well as Tom there are a few other returning characters. In reality this would’ve been because work on specials always starts a long time in advance. Producing an extra, larger edition of a comic is great but working on it can’t disrupt the regular editions, so work begins very early. When this commenced a lot of these characters were still regulars or semi-regulars in the fortnightly. Billy’s Brain is in here, even Bony Hart makes a reappearance and one of the more memorable early characters pops back up, Jim Needle‘s Pete’s Pup.

It’s strange for me to think this was my first encounter with the monstrous shaggy dog as a child. He would also appear in the birthday issue released two weeks after this special hit shelves but after that he’d only return for a reprint in the second OiNK Book. I became reacquainted with the comic in my 30s, but right up to that point in my mind he’d been a main character. Weird.

Readers will get plenty of entertainment out of this thanks to its manic pace, dark humour and chaotic atmosphere

Now, let’s move on to what was surely be the main event for many comics fans. At the time I was unaware of who Kevin O’Neill was but today I know the man as something of a legend in the industry. Drawing the image of Tharg on the cover of the very first 2000AD he would go on to produce incredible work for OiNK’s stablemate, most memorably the stunning Nemesis the Warlock. In 1986 his whole style proved unsuitable for the American Comics Code Authority but thankfully DC went ahead and published his Tales of the Green Lantern anyway. Later, he would create Marshal Law and team up with Alan Moore for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. For OiNK’s Holiday Special he drew a four-page parody called The Game is Greed, written by Mark Rodgers.

Lew Stringer was friends with both Kevin and Dave Gibbons, another legendary comic artist who’d appear in the pages of OiNK. They’d meet up frequently at London comic marts and when Lew found out Kevin was a fan of OiNK he asked him if he’d like to contribute. His first strip was actually a collaboration with Lew called The Truth About Santa for The OiNK Book 1988, then later he drew this brilliant script by Mark, but early deadlines for specials and annuals being what they are this was the one that saw print first. I may not have known who he was but I adored the very unique art style and I can remember lying in bed late at night (having already read the comic that morning) pouring over all of the funny details for a long time. I’d never seen anything like this.

Kevin’s sharp lines, exaggerated action and gorgeous colours really pop, making the strip stand out in even the quickest of skims through the issue. This is no small feat for an issue of OiNK. My inner 80s child had a field day reading this and spotting all of the contemporary celebrities we were so used to seeing on our television screens. Younger readers today who may not know some of them will still get plenty of entertainment out of this thanks to its manic pace, dark humour and chaotic atmosphere.

Mark’s script gives Kevin plenty of opportunities to embrace the chaos and bring his kinetic energy to the art with aplomb. My personal highlights here are the caricature of Billy Connolly on the first page, the greed of Mr and Mrs Baldmoron, the moment he’s stripped to the bone by the piranhas and of course that hilarious alligator (oh sorry, “scaly amphibious ant”) complete with Ted’s assistant showing it off from inside its mouth and the purse handles on its back! I’ve said before how the humour in OiNK stands up so well to this day. This strip hasn’t aged one bit and feels like a perfect modern parody of the time period. One of the very best OiNK strips since I started this whole read through.

We finish off with that old tradition of the family holidays, the puzzles and in particular the word searches that were meant to keep the kids quiet. Being OiNK, this is a somewhat unique variant on the theme. The story behind the cover is that Mary Lighthouse (critic) has found herself stranded on the same desert island as Uncle Pigg and she’s going somewhat barmy. Well, more so than usual. There’s no list of words to find, you just have to try to spot as many as possible and one definitely stands out. In typical fashion for this comic the solutions to the puzzles are just as funny as trying them out.

There we have it, the first special edition of OiNK. There’ll be more of them to come, one very soon in fact. The year 1987 was the only one during which we’d have a regular comic from beginning to end, fortnightly all the way through, with some nice extras, merchandise releases, special pull-outs and more, all culminating in the book at Christmas. What a time to be a pig pal! You’ve only a week to go until the review of the Birthday Issue. That’ll be here from Monday 18th April 2022. Catch you then.

iSSUE 25 < > iSSUE 26

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