OiNK Blog

OiNK! #39: GAME FOR A LAUGH

17 October 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

We’re in the midst of OiNK’s Golden Age now and the Great Games and Puzzles Issue is another corker, kicking off with Ian Jackson’s cover and his take on some favourite characters by other cartoonists, namely Jeremy Banx’s Burp, David Leach’s Psycho Gran, Marc Riley’s Harry the Head and Chris Sievey’s Frank Sidebottom. The colourful banners seem to be doing the job of covering over the empty space normally reserved for the logo before the redesign in #36 and they work, hyping some of the contents inside.

A few years ago a pig pal by the name of Becky Armstrong shared a photograph of this cover on social media and it was only through this that David Leach saw it for the first time, not previously aware his creation had made the cover or indeed been drawn by the incredible Ian. Becky kindly sent David the issue as a result! The OiNK community really is the best three-and-a-half decades on. Let’s open this up, shall we?

Once again we get a Frank Sidebottom and Snatcher Sam (aka Marc Riley) photo story, albeit a much smaller one than last time. When it’s so brilliantly crafted and as funny as this it doesn’t need any more space. Every time these two get together in the comic their friendship really does shine and I think this sets them apart, they’re always so much fun.

More strips than ever kept to the themes, giving each issue a really unique identity

A few pages later Marc brings us a little puzzle corner for his character, although it appears it’s more of a suggestion box than a competition and his other creation Harry the Head also takes a starring role in this issue. He’s got an important part to play in the competition promoted on the cover and sliding on to page two he hasn’t had a chance to get there yet, so Uncle Pigg gives him a boot and we see him flying through the issue. We’ll get back to him further down the review.

During this period of OiNK more strips than ever kept to the themes, giving each issue a really unique identity to every other OiNK (never mind compared to more traditional comics on the shelves). You’re always aware of the subject running throughout, somehow making each issue feel even more jam-packed with content. One exception to the rule would be the ongoing serials such as sequel tale The Spectacles of Doom Vs The Monocle of Mayhem, part two of which is in here.

During part one it looked like our inept hero Endor, his singing sword and glasses were going to be vastly outnumbered by the evil Gash and his hordes, so this chapter is all about evening the odds in that traditional fantasy adventure movie fashion of meeting allies along the way with ever more ridiculous names, from ever more ridiculous places. More than ever this strip feels like the spoof of 80s magic and fantasy films The Spectacles of Doom was always meant to be, thanks to the fertile imagination of writer Tony Husband.

The quick succession of gags that really land is quite surprising. We shouldn’t really expect any less from Tony but even for him this is on another level. Known for his freeform art, Tony’s scripting shines through here, his character descriptions are original and hilarious and it must’ve been a hoot for Andy Roper when he got the script and got to bring them to life. The laughs come thick and fast and this is just two part of five. If we ever get a reprint book of OiNK the collected Monocle of Mayhem story would definitely be a highlight.

David Haldane’s Rubbish Man has been with us since the very beginning and he now seems to be accompanied by Boy Blunder every issue. From memory this wouldn’t last but for now it’s two-for-one as they battle their version of Batman’s eponymous Riddler, The Puzzler. I remember watching the 60s Batman show as a very young child and while my siblings and parents hated it for how silly it was, I was the target audience and I loved it.

There’s another myth surrounding OiNK that can be put to bed

In particular I remember the puzzles that had absolutely nothing to do with their apparent solutions and the completely unbelievable way Batman and Robin would solve them. David has obviously been inspired by these scenes and parodies them perfectly. So perfectly in fact, this one page is umpteen times better than the television series that inspired it.

There are lots of little gems throughout this issue and not just from our usual mini-strip cast, the random one-offs are all top notch too. Standing out from the crowd is Time for A Game of Scrabble by the comic’s resident youngster, Charlie Brooker. There’s another myth surrounding OiNK, this time about Charlie and how he’s embarrassed by his early cartooning but this is yet another tall tale that can be put to bed nowadays.

Some other highlights include perfect posh pronunciation in The Slugs, a puzzle section from Pete Throb that had all of us copying the side panel as kids (and adults) and there’s some genuine laugh out loud moments as we take a look at our Puzzling, Mysterious, Unexplained, Amazing World (including another comical shark which I had to include).

**The Slugs** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Lezz*
**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Haldane’s Puzzling, Mysterious, Unexplained, Amazing World**
by *David Haldane* (who else?)

Below, a close look at a panel from The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile – Aged 8 5/8 (yearƨ) may raise some eyebrows with pig pals. What’s that he’s eating? It can’t be! Not in OiNK! I’m not the only one to pick up on this as a future Grunts page will attest. Anneka Rice would later make a guest appearance on the letters page of an issue of Super Naturals and here she’s popped up in one of its sister comics, complete with a cheeky caption from Uncle Pigg.

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Grunts** compiled by *Patrick Gallagher*
**GBH Games Catalogue** photographed by *John Barry*
*John Barry* (right) pictured with *Patrick Gallagher*

Finally, ace OiNK (and Frank Sidebottom’s official) photographer John Barry created a page of fully mocked up fake board games for a funny GBH Madvertisement. “Well beyond the call of duty!”, as Patrick Gallagher exclaimed to me recently. Take a closer look at that Plopopoly panel and you’ll see the board, cards and even the strange die (with an ‘8’ side) have all been crafted to great detail! All for just one small photo.

This issue contains the very welcome return of Frodo Johnson (previously in #22), otherwise known as the Dice Maniac, Lew Stringer’s parody of fantasy role players and 2000AD spin-off magazine, Dice Man. It’s somewhat bittersweet because this was his last of only two appearances but at least this time he’s in full colour. For the uninitiated, to Frodo life is the ultimate adventure and, no matter how mundane the task, how he goes about it is all up to the roll of his dice. Of course, these should not actually be trusted.

This is OiNK, so naturally with it being set in the countryside it had to have a cowpat and an accompanying pun at the end. What a shame the character would never return. He had the potential of being something of an OiNK spin on traditional strips but alas this would be all we’d ever see of any potential he had. With the Dice Man magazine only lasting five issues Lew tells me he didn’t think Maniac would be relevant anymore and thus he was created as a limited character.

Last but certainly not least you may have noticed Marc Riley’s Harry the Head flying past one of Rubbish Man’s panels above. You saw him on the cover then on page two our esteemed editor gave him a kick to get him to his own page near the back of the comic. It was a hell of a kick because he makes a cameo in (or beside) no less than four other strips and the Grunts page.

Harry appeared alongside Jeremy Banx’s Burp, his creator Marc Riley’s own Doctor Mooney He’s Completely Looney, Mark Rodgers’ and Mike Green’s Blank Sinatra and Davy Francis’ Cowpat Country which this time is just an excuse to have Harry land as he does. Uniquely, it was by Marc and Patrick Gallagher instead of Davy, Patrick credited as ‘Calorgas’. According to Patrick, “Marc was pretending to be really pissed and trying repeatedly to pronounce my surname, but all he could manage was ‘Calorgas’”.

The reason for Harry’s harrowing journey? A special competition with no less than 100 of Matchbox’s memorable Madballs to give away to lucky pig pals. I remember having one but I’ve no idea which one it was, although I don’t think it was any of these three below. I believe I also had a teeny tiny squishy one too, or maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Below you’ll also see OiNK co-creator/co-editor Mark Rodgers with one of the Madballs he took on a camping holiday at the time.

The photo of the rugby ball sitting on top of this issue is fellow pig pal Ross Murdoch‘s, one of the lucky 100 winners! I think most of my friends had at least one Madball and I even recall spotting a Marvel UK special in a newsagent at one stage too. They were really fun to kick and throw about since they’d bounce and roll in such unpredictable ways, but they were very well made and were more than up to the battering they took. Even though the competition ran in other Fleetway comics too they’re the perfect fit for an OiNK contest, aren’t they?

This is a brilliant issue! Again. OiNK was going from strength to strength but elsewhere in Fleetway’s range something had happened that would affect our treasured piggy publication. When they had taken over IPC’s comics, Fleetway grouped all the titles into various sales groups. Because there were so many of them and the market was shrinking, tracking individual sales was out. Instead, if any particular group’s combined sales weren’t up to par every comic in it would be cancelled.

The likes of Buster and Whizzer and Chips etc were selling over 200,000 a week and were placed in one group. OiNK was unfairly (in my eyes) placed into a different one alongside the likes of the just-cancelled Nipper (image taken from Comic Vine). OiNK was selling 100,000 a fortnight, far beyond the others in its group and in September with the last of its siblings canned OiNK was left on its own. By Fleetway’s rules OiNK should’ve been cancelled at this point but its own sales saved it. However, the publisher wanted more and so they forced a big change on the team which would take effect in the new year. We’ll come back to that then.

For now that’s us for another issue and I’m really excited for the next one to come. A glorious Ralph Shephard cover that takes full advantage of the extra space from the smaller logo is one of the very best in the run. This suits the issue perfectly because #40, the second Hallowe’en edition, is one of the very best issues too. I’ve got particular memories attached to it as well so I can’t wait to read it again. Fittingly enough its review will be here on Monday 31st October 2022.

iSSUE 38 < > iSSUE 40

OiNK! #38: A FEAST OF FUNNiES

3 October 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

A cover that would surely stand out on the shelves, a full-page photograph of Frank Sidebottom (aka Chris Sievey) and Marc Riley as his alter ego Snatcher Sam getting into what appears to be a food fight, with a promise of a full story inside. Frank never seemed to be off our television screens at the time so having him in OiNK was always a major coup for the comic, having him on the cover even more so. Well, it would be if his face wasn’t covered with those wonderful stickers, of course.

Our third and final set includes the same ‘Stick with OiNK’ on the back as previous issues and an array of stars with Burp, Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins, Harry the Head and Frank himself on the good quality, bright yellow stickers. The butcher one in particular I remember, I think it ended up on our fridge back in 1987 but not for very long. We wouldn’t get any more free gifts until the final issue, a gift that would lead me directly to my next comic obsession.

Where did that sticker go? Find out here.

The Story Behind the Cover strip was the first time we’d seen Frank and Sam in a photo story since #26 and here it’s split up into three small chunks, the conclusion on page 31. However, the first two parts are also split up over the opening pages, the bottom half on page two and continuing at the top of page three. Why? Comic timing (pun intended).

Have you ever turned over a page of a comic and something towards the end of the strip catches your eye? Or have you ever been reading a page and your eye happens to wonder just for a split second to something further down, revealing the big gag too early? (Just me?) I love how this stops the strip at the point where Frank’s turn of phrase suggests something very different to what actually happens, then the gag lands when we start on the next page.

That pie thrown in the final image would be seen throughout the comic thanks to co-creator/co-editor Patrick Gallagher as it wings its way to the inner back page. The pie isn’t the only addition to some pages, there are little plops here and there with suitable puns, much like we had in the very earliest issues, in particular the preview. These were added to the previous two OiNKs too, adding to that feeling of newness (reminding me of those first issues) I described during #36’s review.

We’ll get back to that at the end of the review, as intended. As I mentioned in the OiNK’s Golden Age post this was my very favourite time in OiNK’s run, mainly because all of my very favourite characters, writers and cartoonists were present in almost every issue. One character who I’d always thought was always present from the moment she first appeared was Psycho Gran by the insanely talented (and all round decent feller) David Leach.

Old Lady Psycho appeared seemingly randomly from #15 up to this point, partly because David didn’t know she was to be a regular character originally. Her Maniacal Majesty was at her most prolific in these latter fortnightlies, in fact apart from the next issue she’ll be in every one until OiNK turns weekly when she unfortunately disappears, only popping up in three of the regular issues after that. So she’s another reason to enjoy the rest of this year’s issues.

A loveable character who was often the subject of body shaming, his cheery demeanour would see him get one over on the bullies

Also introduced in #15 and advertised as a regular was Fatty Farmer, normally written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by Mike Green. Farmer appeared in five issues, then this is only his third appearance since and he’d only have three more to go. He was a loveable character who was often the subject of body shaming, although he’d never let it get to him and his cheery demeanour would see him get one over on the bullies every time.

Here however, he’s eaten a load of cream cheese just before bedtime and, playing on the old tale of cheese giving you nightmares if you eat it late at night, he drifts into a disturbed sleep in Fatty Farmer’s Nightmare! A Blubbery Bonus. This time the script has been written by new OiNK scribe Vaughan Brunt, with Mike as ever providing the art. Written as a rhyme it starts off silly and just gets sillier.

I’m a sucker for a comical shark and Mike doesn’t disappoint here. For a start trying to strangle a shark is funny enough, never mind the giant, crazy eyes, lack of pectoral fins making it look like a long, silly sausage and the little “Dunslop” sign on the front of its rubber body! This was the only time Fatty Farmer got a full page to himself and I think it’s Mike’s art that really makes it. It could’ve been written for any character let’s face it but Mike makes it feel like the perfect fit.

Other highlights of this issue include Burp doing political satire three decades early, Death’s hilarious reaction to an unwelcome visitor, our dense-but-buffed Endor and his magical spectacles being woken from their apparently cuddly sleep when the Monocle of Mayhem is stolen by a ghost and Pete giving us a hint as to why he may have that pimple in the first place.

**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Adventures of Death** by *Charlie Brooker*
**Spectacles of Doom** written by *Tony Husband*,
drawn by *Andy Roper*
**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Jimmy Flynn** by *David Haldane*

A quick note on those last two panels. This was the first appearance for new serial Jimmy Flynn, a boy who was “bathed in a weird light from a flying saucer” and ever since could make his skeleton jump out of his skin to go and investigate spooky goings-on. Each strip would hype a ‘Special Guest Star’ in the title too, only for that special guest to appear inconsequentially in one panel, as Larry Hogman (Larry Hagman, Dallas) does here.

This issue saw the very first contribution from none other than Kev F Sutherland. A prolific cartoonist in OiNK’s weekly and monthly issues (his work would make up nearly a sixth of the final issue!) this was the only time his art would be seen in the fortnightlies. It’s great to see him join the fray at last. A small, quarter-page three-panel Madvertisement riffing off the McDonald’s TV adverts of the day, not only is this Kev’s first OiNK strip, it’s his very first published work.

So a little bit of comics history right there. Kev went on to be a cartoonist in titles as diverse as Beano, Toxic, Doctor Who Adventures and Red Dwarf Magazine. Today he also visits schools to teach comics creation, performs with socks puppets as The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre and you can check out his 17-part podcast series Comic Cuts – The Panel Show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

When you’re a heavy, building-sized robotic pig there’s no way you can’t make an impact

I’ve been looking forward to Kev’s time in the comic and forgot all about this little strip. Having proven himself we had to wait until #49 to see him again but it’ll be worth the wait. Some of the very best strips to come are from Kev; The March of the Killer Breakfasts and a simply brilliant strip about three scientists discovering time travel are stand outs. Kev also had a series called simply Meanwhile… which would have a completely different scenario every time, all linked together by nothing more than his unique art style and even more unique sense of humour. You’ll see some of those next year.

One character didn’t appear too often, showing up for just five regular issues and both annuals, but made a huge impact with readers and remains a fan favourite to this day: Pigswilla. Then again, when you’re a heavy, building-sized robotic pig there’s no way you can’t make an impact. He returns this issue in Beware the Bread-Beast from Beyond. As you can see Lew Stringer’s gorgeous colour work has returned, as has his rhyming storytelling.

It’s all very funny, that exclamation by the Bread-Beast at the top of the second page along with his facial expression made me genuinely roar! You know you’re in for a treat when you turn a page and find Pigswilla is in the issue and we were never let down. The strip ends with cut-out finger puppets and by the initials it appears Mark Rodgers had a hand (boom! boom!) in those. Lew would do something similar to brilliant effect with his Combat Colin strip in Marvel UK’s Transformers a few years later.

The next strip takes up two pages, although it’s not a double-page spread, instead we turn over for the second half. This instance isn’t for comic timing, instead it’s so that it can be presented as the front and back covers of a spoof comic. I was surprised to see this because the first annual has a superb, multi-page spoof of Beano and The Dandy and it would’ve been on sale at this time (although most of us didn’t get it until Christmas, of course). Nevertheless, here’s the first time OiNK took a direct swipe at DC Thomson’s best-seller with The Deano.

This was all a well-meaning jest, a parody of the long established comics. As OiNK writer Graham Exton once told me parody is when you poke fun at something you admire, satire is something different, and these were always intended as parodies. For example, this was written by co-creator/co-editor Mark Rodgers who (according to Graham I should add) would always have a Beano Book next to the loo for guests in his house to read while they did their business.

“There’s a new butcher in town, gang! Let’s splat him!”
Scramble

Brought to life by Les ‘Lezz’ Barton, the volume and issue numbers emphasise the running gag that the comics were tired and had been going on too long with the same humour, and it all goes rather dark on the second page. I’m not referring to the lights being turned off either. Let’s be clear, Dennis has just minced and eaten his pet dog! Then again, we are reading a comic which advertised burgers made of butchers in its preview issue, so the precedent was set.

Percy Piglet turning the light out will actually get mentioned in our final highlight from this issue but before that here’s the winner of Granada TV’s Scramble competition as promised. I actually prefer runner up Ian Marshall’s Professor Foible but I wasn’t judging and when the winning strip features a gang of punk pigs it’s clear this was always going to be the winner. After all, co-editor Tony Husband was (and still is) a huge fan of punk music and always saw OiNK as the comic equivalent.

I’m sure Michael Spencer of Poynton was thrilled to see his work in the comic, introduced by Uncle Pigg and the plops on the previous page. You can’t fault the imagination on show and it reminds me of the comics my friend Roger and I made for each other in school, which were usually riffs on Marvel UK comics such as Transformers and The Real Ghostbusters. From memory, Roger created The Battleoids and School Busters, while mine were called War-Bots and The Real Smokebusters. (Hmm, definitely not as original as Michael’s strip.)

Time to round off this issue’s review with the conclusion of our photo story starring Marc Riley as Snatcher Sam and Chris Sievey as Frank Sidebottom. The custard pie has made its way through the comic to end up splattered all over Sam so the OiNK photographer finally gets their shot. In response the reluctant cover stars plot revenge and this is where the reference from earlier comes back to funny effect.

The lucky young star who got to meet some of the OiNK team was Scott Steward, neighbour of Patrick Gallagher‘s. Thanks again to Patrick for the info and as always he’s sent along a recent photograph to show us Scott as he is now. Hello Scott!

That’s our feast of an issue at an end and it’s been a belter from start to finish. It should come as no shock that I think the same of the next one, at least from memory anyway. After that will be the Hallowe’en issue which (along with the Christmas edition later on this year) I seem to recall was one of my very favourite OiNKs of them all. So good times ahead then. Before then, the review of the Games and Puzzles Issue will be here on Monday 17th October 2022.

iSSUE 37 < > iSSUE 39

OiNK FREE GiFTS MENU

OiNK! #37: NEW ADDiTiONS

19 September 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Our second new look OiNK sees the logo enlarged a little, sitting proud in its new position and, as promised by co-creator/co-editor Patrick Gallagher it lets us see more of the superb cover image by Mike Higgs. There’s a confidence about this issue and it’s new format that takes me right back to those days of running to the newsagent for my latest issue every fortnight, knowing I was going to get another 32 pages of perfect pork.

Another set of free stickers are wrapped around the cover, that Tom Thug ‘Book of Grammar’ one being my particular favourite. I think I used the Hadrian Vile sticker on a school book of some description back in 1987 (I would’ve been in primary six at the time of this issue) and the missing one on the back was the same as the one in that position last issue, which ended up on my fridge. This issue’s has been added to the comics shelves in my new home office.

The ‘Hilarious Happy Families Issue’ lives up to its name from the very first page with that brilliant cover complete with a couple of strategically placed OiNKs, portraying an elderly relative dying from the shock of reading an issue. The Christmas Club, the note on the bottom of the casket and a couple of plops for good measure, I can remember visiting my mum’s friend’s house with this issue and sitting absorbed by it while they gossiped.

In fact, I remember they were talking about Santa Claus and wondering if I knew the truth (that he most definitely existed, obviously) and I caught part of the conversation between strips. I can recall May asking the question and my mum saying at my age my friends would’ve been talking about it, so she assumed I knew. I kept quiet, I still wanted all my toys (and my OiNK Book!). That’s something which always comes back to me whenever I see this cover. May (or Aunty May as we called her, even though she wasn’t related) is no longer with us so it’s a happy memory that I’ll never forget thanks to OiNK.

This is quite simply the perfect comic script

Inside, one of the first strips is an old favourite, Davy Francis’ Cowpat County. Davy has two trademarks when it comes to his funniest strips, background gags and brilliant puns. This next page is easily my favourite featuring Farmer Giles. It is quite simply the perfect comic script. It all leads up to the final joke, expertly laying in the little bits of information along the way that’ll make it work, the reader unaware this is happening until the end.

Davy is a real comedic genius and it ran in the family. His father Stanley Francis was a comedian, performing in the old club circuits in Northern Ireland with Frank “it’s a cracker” Carson. Stanley also played piano and once accompanied Little Richard at Belfast’s Boom Boom Rooms! He’d often tell jokes at home to try them out (which Davy now uses on his bus tours) and the joke at the centre of this Cowpat County was one of Stanley’s. Also, check out that middle panel and you’ll see Davy’s caricatures of fellow OiNK cartoonists Ed McHenry and Lew Stringer! (Thanks for pointing them out, Davy!)

“She’s luvly!!”
Hadrian Vile

Just one final note about this strip. I have the original artwork, one of a few pieces of Davy’s I own. I’m going to hold that back for a future post and show them all off at once. It also couldn’t have escaped your notice that something is going on with Snatcher Sam and Frank Sidebottom. Anyone who grew up on OiNK should instantly know what this refers to. Yes, it was finally available. Exciting! I’ll get back to that later in the review.

Next up is what I’d easily describe as the main event of this family themed issue. In fact it’s probably the main event in the whole life of Hadrian Vile thus far, something I’ve alluded to ever since the character first appeared on the blog back in #4’s review. To mark the occasion he gets three pages written by Mark Rodgers in glorious Ian Jackson full colour. This story more than any other plays to Ian’s strength of perfectly capturing a character’s thoughts in their face and body language. For example, his exasperated dad when they’re pulled over and in the next panel when he’s trying to explain things to the police officer.

We saw Hadrian’s age increase in the birthday issue and his reaction when his parents explained he was going to be a big brother. Now, after months of him torturing his poor pregnant mum the big moment has arrived and while the laughs are still plentiful, what we have here is a surprisingly sweet strip. After all those previous issues full of Hadrian getting into trouble thanks to his ridiculous schemes, he actually comes up with a helpful idea when the situation calls for it. It’s still daft and funny of course, especially his dad trying to run along holding that pillow.

After wearing down the carpet in the waiting room the family are called in to see their newest addition and even Bowser gets a mask so he can join them. We turn over to see the following full-page image with a simple, sweet (yet still incorrectly spelt) diary entry. This was certainly a memorable moment in humour comics. When did a character live their life in an almost real time manner like this? When was something like this properly built up to instead of just being a sudden change? OiNK was always unique and this is all the proof you need.

Don’t be thinking Hadrian is going to go all slushy on us though. Instead, he sees his new baby sister as a potential protégé, someone to teach the ways of the world to, someone to train to be just like him and we’d get to see these in various ways over the following months. She also makes an appearance in the card game in this very issue.

This takes up the middle pages and the back cover, with another half page for the instructions, which are the same for the regular Happy Families game.

So as per the typical rules each family is made up of four individuals, with Hadrian’s not including Bowser as would’ve been expected up to this point, instead his baby sister gets a little cameo of sorts. Altogether there are 36 cards for the reader to stick on to cardboard and cut out, split into nine families. Parents and siblings could also easily take part because each group has a simple numbering system so non-OiNK fans (yes, they exist!) wouldn’t get lost amongst the silly names.

I always liked seeing favourite characters drawn by different artists. Ed McHenry is the person responsible here and his depictions of Ian Jackson’s Hadrian and his family, David Haldane’s Rubbish Man, J.T. Dogg’s Street-Hogs heroes and villains, and Jeremy Banx’s alien innards are my particular favourites. Did any blog readers cut out and play this game when they were but a piglet? I never cut up any of my OiNKs back at the time. (I did begin to colour in something in the first annual but that was about it.) However, these days the angel on top of my Christmas tree is from a page of the comic and for the blog I’ve already constructed an old-fashioned Frank Sidebottom toy.

There’s a certain phrase I remember my dad using whenever my siblings or I did anything that our mum would’ve found particularly bad and one of the little quarter-page strips in this issue takes that exact phrase and ridicules it, albeit swapping the parents’ roles over in the process. From that moment on I could never take it seriously when it was used. I still can’t. Mad Dad is written by Vaughan Brunt and drawn by Ian Knox. This is followed up by Grate Expectations, a memorable little one-off from the insane mind of Simon Thorp who, I’m very happy to say, was turning up more regularly by this point.

There were so many highlights in this issue I really struggled deciding which ones to include. This could be a regular problem over these next few months, but it’s a nice problem to have, isn’t it? The Grunts page features press clippings about OiNK itself, although I’ll save them for their own post at a future date. Just mentioned recently on the blog’s socials by a fellow pig pal was Burp’s tractor beam and it pops up here, so I just had to include that in this little selection of panels.

There was also a unique competition in which readers could win a trip to Timperley, the home of megastar Frank Sidebottom and meet their hero, and to get readers excited to enter he tells us all about his post office having two letterboxes! Woo. I’ll keep an eye out for the results. There’s a full-page Uncle Pigg strip describing the special versions of OiNK he publishes around the world and it’s nice to see he and Santa have made up since #17.

**Frank Sidebottom** by *Chris Sievey*
**Uncle Pigg** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Rubbish Man** by *David Haldane*
**Burp** & **Butcher Watch** by *Jeremy Banx*

For the first time we see Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins playing football, something which would lead to a huge multi-issue story for the character in future issues, a little plop drawn by Patrick Gallagher invaded a handful of pages throughout the issue such as Rubbish Man’s, and in the latest Butcher Watch a pig by the name of Stig the Pig thinks he’s finally won the battle with Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith, with wonderfully Banx’y captions.

Of course, Jimmy has to live to see another day and terrorise the world in which the characters of OiNK reside. As it turns out that shadowy figure wasn’t Jimmy at all but rather a selection of pork sausages tied up and dressed to resemble him. We see this reveal just before Jimmy strangles Stig to death with another string of sausages. This might sound a bit brutal for a kid’s humour comic but it was so ludicrous and over-the-top we’d just laugh at the absurdity of the pretend horror.

So, Frank has just set a new competition and this issue announces the runner-up of one we hadn’t seen in the comic. In much the same way that OiNK ran a competition in conjunction with Radio Manchester (the results were in #26), they teamed up with Granada TV’s Scramble programme. Ian Marshall from Bramhall has not one, but two small strips in this issue starring his own creation, Professor Foible.

If this is the level of quality the runner-up produced I can honestly say I’m eagerly looking forward to seeing what the young winner came up with! We’ll have to wait to find out though because that’s being held back until #38.

So for the uninitiated, what were Frank Sidebottom aka Chris Sievey and Snatcher Sam aka Marc Riley up to earlier in the issue? Why, they were recording a new song for the OiNK 45 of course! Way back in the mists of time the premiere issue of our favourite comic gave away a fun flexidisc record with two songs created specifically to annoy adults as much as for the kids to enjoy. The OiNK Song and The OiNK Rap are often quoted by fans to this day and on this new proper record they were getting another outing alongside a new song.

When the original songs were produced by Marc, Chris had yet to join the comic (#16) so the new track, called The OiNK Get Together Song was a chance for the pop music sensation to get in on the action and team up with the former member of The Fall. Along with the other two songs (the rap now renamed The OiNK Psycho Rap) this was a proper, solid record the size of a single, in its own sleeve for just £1.70 and I for one jumped at the chance to own it, especially since all three songs were new to me (having missed the flexidisc first time around). In fact, this and the mug were the only pieces of OiNK merchandise I originally owned.

I recall the song contained impressions of various characters and it irritated my family just as much as the other two. My record met with an early demise when it warped under the hot sun from a skylight window only a couple of weeks after it had arrived in the post. I hadn’t even had a chance to tape it yet for my Walkman. Now if only I could listen to it again after all these decades to see how my adult brain would react to those songs.

Well would you look at that. Yep, in a moment of perfect timing this appeared on eBay and the record is in mint condition. I could not be happier. But then again, I haven’t listened to it yet! Nope, I haven’t stuck it on the ol’ record player yet, I’ll do that when it comes to writing the accompanying blog post. So look out for that just after 17th October. Why am I making you wait so long? Well, we had to wait 28 days for delivery after all and this is all in real time.

That brings us to the end of another fantastic issue. As a child I’d loved the changes and was so happy they weren’t a one-off (the previous issue‘s theme seemingly explaining them away for that one edition), the book was in the shops and I was eagerly anticipating it for Christmas, plus I’d just ordered an exciting new piece of merchandise, my first piece of OiNK merchandise in fact. I’d been a fan of OiNK since I’d first discovered it, but by now I was completely obsessed. The next issue is the Food and Drink Special with yet another memorable cover, a full-page photograph of (who else) Frank and Sam. The next review will be here on Monday 3rd October 2022.

Is it really October already?! OiNK really had helped this year fly by,

iSSUE 36 < > iSSUE 38

OiNK FREE GiFTS MENU

OiNK! #32: PHYSiCAL FUN

11 July 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

I’m not a sports fan, never have been. As a kid when OiNK was published my dad and brother were football mad but I simply had no interest. The Olympics were always the exception though and that remains true today, I’ll be glued to the TV day and night for two weeks solid (I’ve even booked time off work before for them) but then normal service resumes for four years. So it was with trepidation that I approached the latest issue of OiNK, which upon first glance I had no recollection of from childhood.

But now I’ve finished the issue I needn’t have worried. It begins with that cover by Steve McGarry whose work we haven’t seen since #4, and this would be the last cover (and accompanying strip) he’d draw for the comic, his contribution to The OiNK! Book 1988 already completed even if we wouldn’t see it for a while yet. But the panels down the left really had me laughing, in particular the one about sports commentators. A funny start and inside the first laugh out loud moments come courtesy of Jeremy Banx’s smelly alien, Burp.

At this point Burp’s attempts at ingratiating himself with his human neighbours seem to be entering a rather gory phase, beginning with the malfunctioning fast food machine in #30 and in a strip I didn’t feature last issue he sliced off the top of Ronald Reagan’s head to have a chat with his brain. Bringing this little girl’s teddy bear to life might be the thing of fairy tales but as you can see Jeremy took it a step further to show the repercussions of such an act bedtime stories never would.

As well as the blackness of the blood adding to the funny horror and the bear’s protestations, there are a many more moments I found myself chuckling away here, not least of all Burp’s long explanation of what he did to the bear while never catching on that this was previously a toy. Also the fact it’s all done with ‘Bupa’ rays. Adverts for Bupa were on the telly all the time back then so even as a child I’d have found this funny. (UPDATE: Having now read further I can reveal this wouldn’t be the last time we’d see this teddy.) This issue was also the first time we saw two other individuals.

David Haldane’s Torture Twins were a regular staple of the comic from here on in, appearing in every regular issue except the penultimate monthly. A tale of twin brothers who really enjoyed their work. Their work just happened to be medieval torturing. In such a dark profession I guess it helps to have a good sense of humour. From gags and puns based on what devices they were using, to more ridiculous forms of torture, they were a highlight and a fan favourite. It’s good to finally see them here.

I knew of Day of the Triffids from watching the movie not long before this issue, so it was the perfect material to parody

While this issue as a whole didn’t seem to jog the memory cells as much as others there’s one definite highlight that takes me right back. It was the first time I’d come across certain characters (my first issue was #14) who had made such a huge impact with pig pals who’d been with the comic from the start. Written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by J.T. Dogg, the second epic adventure for The Street-Hogs began here. The Day of the Triffics would be a lot shorter than their original story but this one made a huge impact on me.

For young readers already familiar with them it must’ve felt like an age since their last appearance in #11. The hype of their return began in #27 and was further added to last time with a large poster, but now the moment was finally here. I was completely won over by two things, namely the return of Dogg as the artist after I’d loved his work on Ham Dare and the reason behind the plants being called ‘Triffics’! (In the spread below, your eyes may instinctively try to read the whole of the first page thanks to how those TV screens are laid out, but this should be read all the way across)

It’s been too long since we’ve had a series of one preposterous cliffhanger after another with equally ridiculous escapes the following issue. I knew of the Day of the Triffids from watching the movie late one night with my mum not long before this, so it was the perfect material to parody as far as I was concerned. The mysterious baddie really isn’t mysterious at all for those who’d read the first adventure, but that was all part of the fun, that our daring, gung-ho heroes couldn’t even figure that much out. I’m really looking forward to the next few issues.

So far out of the highlights I’ve shown only one has stuck to the theme, so here’s a selection of panels taken from throughout the issue. Pete and his Pimple finally work together to show it’s not all a bum deal for the spotty teen, there are some exercise ideas even I could get behind, a very funny spoof tabloid The Bumb is more believable than the real thing (and stars radio DJ Mark Radcliffe!) and then the final panel is about as close as we’d get to a friendship between Hector Vector and his Talking T-Shirt.

**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**OiNK Exercises** written by *Howard Osborn*, drawn by *Ian Knox*
**The Bumb** starred *Mark Radcliffe*
**Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt** by *Jeremy Banx*

DJ and TV presenter, and close friend of editor Patrick Gallagher and writer/artist (and fellow radio DJ) Marc Riley, Mark Radcliffe worked alongside both on The Mark Radcliffe Show on BBC Radio One after OiNK and Round the Bend came to an end. The three also performed as The Shirehorses, a parody band that came off the back of the radio show. Also, Patrick and Mark performed with Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom in his Oh Blimey Big Band, a photo of which you can see in #16‘s review. Of course, you’ll also know Marc and Mark as Mark and Lard! Thanks as always to Patrick for the info and the photo.

Do you remember spot-the-ball competitions? They could still be around for all I know, but in case they’re not I’ll explain. They’d run in newspapers and magazines back in the 80s and would involve a photograph taken during some action in a football game, with the ball itself removed from the picture. This would always be very cleverly disguised and given the technology of the day was quite the feat because there’d be no trace of it in the photo.

Competition entrants would need to look at the positions of each individual player, their actions, where they’re looking etc. and try to figure out where best to place their ‘X’ to highlight where they think the ball was in that precise moment. The team behind OiNK decided to run a similar competition and went to the same painstaking levels of professionalism to ensure it was as difficult to work out as possible.

I was so happy to see the return of Tom’s Toe in this issue! Originally appearing back in #12, co-editor and writer Tony Husband‘s creation then popped up in the first Holiday Special before disappearing again until #30. Given the nature of the strip, that it would parody clichés from OiNK’s own sister publications, it worked best as a special character who’d just pop up now and again. If Tom had been a regular I think the joke could’ve worn thin and he could’ve strayed into cliché himself.

Thankfully that never happened and here his return is marked with a brilliant strip which really highlights the differences between OiNK and other comics of the day. Of course, it’s all helped along by the fact it’s drawn by John Geering whose usual work was among that which Tom was parodying! So, this time Tom and his friends are playing a game of footie when the ball bursts. What to do? Well, we have a boy whose toe can take on any form so naturally he grows it to resemble a football.

Tom’s four appearances were brief but memorable and the perfect antidote to the safer humour OiNK was created to counter

This halfway point of the page feels like the end gag for a traditional strip in another comic; “Haha, oh he made it into a football this week, I wonder what he’ll do next time haha?” But this is OiNK. OiNK was different, it went further. In this case, it takes the scenario further to see what would actually happen next, turning the second half of the strip into something else completely. The whole page is kind of like a metaphor for the difference between traditional comics and this one.

Unfortunately, this would be the last time we’d ever see Tom. His four appearances were brief but memorable and the perfect antidote to the safer humour OiNK was created to counter in the first place. John would return in the first OiNK Book, drawing more jokes aimed at other comics he worked on. As a child I’d no idea this was the case because OiNK was the only humour comic I collected for a while, but now I can appreciate his contributions even more than I originally did.

The final page I’d like to highlight is Frank Sidebottom’s. Chris Sievey was a creative genius, let’s make no bones about it, and since he joined the ranks of OiNK he’s designed a cut-out zoetrope, his own Time magazine cover and even created working programs for young ZX Spectrum computer users. The page he’s brought us this time once again shows the insane amount of work he’d put into OiNK. We appreciated it every single time.

No other character had such a variety of content from issue to issue. We just never knew what would be next with Frank. He particularly seemed to enjoy giving us an excuse to cut up our precious comics, giving us even more value for (our parents’) money. He certainly didn’t let us down with his (deep breath) Frank “Windy” Sidebottom vs Elton John All-Star Cut-Out Snooker Game. The rules alone were surely a feat to create. At one stage he even suggests throwing them out, they’re that intricate.

A simply wonderful page for us to finish on this time. The next OiNK comic review will be up from Monday 25th July 2022, the theme of which really puzzled me back in 1987, then made me very happy indeed to be living in Northern Ireland and not another part of the UK as a child. You’ll have to come back in a fortnight to find out what that’s all about.

iSSUE 31 < > iSSUE 33

OiNK Comic Reviews, OiNK Merchandise

OiNK! FREE CRASH EDiTiON

3 July 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This is a somewhat unique addition to OiNK’s run and one I missed out on at the time, despite it being briefly advertised in #32. I can only blame my young self’s lack of attention span for that one. Given away free with #48 of ZX Spectrum computing magazine Crash, this 16-page freebie (the pages are smaller than usual, made to slide inside the A4 Crash) contained all new material from a variety of OiNK contributors. As a tie-in with the new computer game it was an original idea and a smart move, potentially a great way of bringing new readers over to the comic.

I’ve already covered the magazine’s OiNK article which contained an interview with co-editor Tony Husband and a special Frank Sidebottom page, so let’s take a look inside the comic that came with it. We’ve a superb Ian Jackson cover to begin, with Uncle Pigg playing the game on a Spectrum computer which leads to a strip inside featuring him and Mary Lighthouse (critic) in a take on Max Headroom. But it’s across the page from this that things take a turn for the weird.

Lew and Mark decided the strips would work best if they reflected the gameplay

Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple and Tom Thug strips feel a little off and originally I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Pete’s strip has a different name and basically his pimple goes on a bouncing spree (complete with dog-like yelping noises), flattening some bullies in the process. It’s a bit tame compared to normal, and in Tom’s strip he’s driving about in a ‘Thugmobile’ shooting bovver boots out of a cannon at invading zombies! It’s a dream of course. He awakes to say he’s doesn’t know why he’d dream that but his bedroom is full of zombie posters and toys, something never mentioned before in OiNK. How bizarre.

Don’t get me wrong, both are enjoyable strips, however there’s a reason they feel very different than normal. Lew and co-editor Mark Rodgers decided they’d work best if they reflected the gameplay in the OiNK game. But since that didn’t really reflect the comic (and instead was made up of mini-games with the characters shoehorned in) their strips in turn don’t really reflect their usual hilarious outings. Pete’s game was a Breakout clone, bouncing a ball (his pimple) to break bricks, for example. I’m also not quite sure why Pete’s pus is suddenly green, although Patrick Gallagher did confirm they did the colour separations and not Crash.

There are some funny moments here, like the sound effects used in Pete’s strip being classic comic titles such as ‘Pow!’ and ‘Wham!’ and of course the word ‘Crash’ is used as much as possible! David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is the third and final strip of a character featured in the game and unfortunately it’s pretty poor, with Boy Blunder playing the game while our hero dispatches some random vegetable villains in the background. None of his smelly powers (or even his smell) feature at all, so as a pig pal it just feels rather bland.

“He defeated the dreaded Three-headed Politician of Gassbagg!!”
Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom

Much better is the double-page spread in the middle of the comic drawn by J.T. Dogg. Written by Mark Rodgers the title Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom sums up some of the ludicrous names we were subjected to for some of the less-than-great gaming titles back in the 80s. It centres on an arcade machine with somewhat magical powers. Perhaps inspired by Tron, it’s a much more colourful affair with Dogg’s excellent artwork.

With its fast-paced humour, daft ending and some 80s satire it’s the best introduction to OiNK possible for Crash readers. That ending in particular had me laughing. With all of that build up, the heroic deeds and all of Mike’s victories, for it all to be torn down in a couple of sentences and the whole world to fall into despair as a punchline is great stuff. Classic Mark, really. Billed as “An Interactive Comic Strip” for the computer mag, in reality it boils down to a competition for the readers to send in suggestions of what poor Mike saw that turned him into a pile of Angel Delight.

The address for this competition is OiNK’s, meaning the winning entrants would be published in the comic instead of the magazine. We’re almost at a simply superb contribution from Frank, but first here’s a quick look at some of the other highlights. Mary Lighthouse (critic) isn’t too happy with Uncle Pigg’s simulation of her in that Max Headroom-inspired strip, you can see part of Tom Thug’s strange dream based on the game, Harry the Head scares a show off on the school computers and this issue was the perfect place for a reader’s Groovy Graphics.

**Mary Lighthouse** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*
**Harry the Head** by *Marc Riley*

Up next Frank Sidebottom has a text-heavy (which suits the magazine) double-page spread and it contains an extraordinary amount of work on the part of his alter ego, Chris Sievey. From the introduction that pokes some fun at the Sinclair ZX81 (accurate though, so he’s done his research) to his piece about the “fiddly bits inside computers” and his funny facts about the machines (and neighbours) that includes praise for Clive Sinclair’s infamous C5 personal cycle, it’s a delight to read.

It also contains some actual working type-in programs for ZX Spectrum users. These little gems are not only working programs, they’re funny in their own right. Complete with cut-out cassette covers which hilariously had nothing to do with what was on the screen (but none for Little Frank‘s game, naturally), one ‘game’ would basically select a random point on the screen and you had to use your cursor to find it in a trial-and-error fashion. The other was a linear romantic story where all you’d do is hit a key to read the next line and it’d give you a couple of choices to get slightly different compliments about what a nice young woman you are.

Oh and Little Frank’s program prints “l.f. is better than f.s.” at random points on the screen. Silly and pointless, but that in itself was the whole point.

To round things off for potential new OiNK readers what else could be on the back page but a GBH madvertisement? The 80s was a very exciting time for what would become a multi-billion pound industry worth more than the movie and television markets! Everything was brand new and younger people in particular jumped at the chance to become part of it, creating their own games from home, just like a lot of the mainstream games were back then. GBH clearly saw an opening in the market for ripping people off.

The pictures for this were taken by OiNK’s resident photographer John Barry and that lady at the computer (that contraption is so funny in itself!) is John’s wife at the time, Ike Walton. Thanks to co-editor Patrick Gallagher for the info. Unfortunately the names of the children and that wonderful old man have been lost to the mists of time.

If you’re interested in tracking down this unique little issue of OiNK it also includes Billy Bang, Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins, Mr Big Nose, Burp and Hugo the Hungry Hippo. While I do believe some strips would’ve been a much better introduction for their characters and the comic if they hadn’t tried to tie themselves into the game, I completely understand why they chose to do so. It’s still a funny wee comic and a unique edition that no OiNK collection is complete without.

Quite a few posts make up the blog’s coverage of the OiNK game, beginning with the preview in Zzap!64, an in-depth look at the Crash magazine this comic was bundled with and a Retro Gamer article from 2021 containing an interview with the game’s creator. Still to come on is the Zzap!64 review of the game itself and later in the year a couple of issues of Commodore Format in which they gave the game away free but under a different name, then detailed how to beat it.

But probably most excitedly for established pig pals who picked this issue up were the first images of two things coming later in 1987, in a promo by Patrick. Stick with the blog, folks.

iSSUE 30 < > iSSUE 31

OiNK SPECiALS & BOOKS MENU

THE OiNK COMPUTER GAME MENU

OiNK MERCHANDiSE MENU

OiNK! #31: BiG! BOLD! BRASH! AMERiCA!

27 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue of OiNK sits on my shelves as a loose collection of pages, although you wouldn’t know it until you picked it up. But if I’m not careful all its pages will fall out and become strewn all over the floor. Why have I taken one of my precious comics apart like this? There’s a very good reason and we’ll get to that later in the review, but for now you’ll just have to trust me when I say I had no choice. Hopefully that’s got you suitably intrigued to stick around for the remainder of this post about the Star-Spangled USA Issue, as if you couldn’t tell from that logo.

Andy Roper’s cover art makes just as big an impression, his King Pong strip the star of the inner pages. The recreation of the famous New York finale makes the perfect cover and the strip itself is written by Mark Rodgers. Rather than ape (sorry) a human character by putting a pig snout on them, Mark has taken another animal and pig-ified them, creating the “giant ape-like pig”, which is a bit of a stretch. But ridiculous scenarios are par for the course with OiNK and the more ludicrous the better, so we’re off to a swinging (sorry again) start.

Cutting the plot of the epic film down to a couple of pages we do without the love story, instead when King Pong’s smell gets too much for the city his captor turns into that favourite villain of OiNK’s, a butcher. Taking him captive in return it’s up the Empire State Building we go and just when you think it can’t get any more silly the sad ending is swapped out for a really, really stupid heroic getaway. Wrap it all up in one of the comic’s trademark pun-riddled morals and it’s another classic.

The amount of tiny details Andy squeezes in over the two pages is remarkable, with plenty to keep the eyes occupied and the reader chortling along. From one iconic American character to another, new OiNK writer Vaughan Brunt makes his debut with The American Super-Hero, drawn by Mike Green. I remember telling my friends in school about this one. I took every chance I could to highlight OiNK’s jokes, especially when it was parodying something they enjoyed. I was always trying to make pig pals out of them.

Vaughan would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether before moving on. While he was solely a writer (a very funny writer) on the comic, away from the sty he’s an accomplished artist. While he doesn’t have his own online presence, a fan site for classic television series The Prisoner includes an art gallery of his paintings of Portmeirion, Wales where the show was set. You can check out his work here. Remembering those OiNK spoofs (such as Ann Martin‘s Watery Down and Simon Thorp’s movie posters) it’s such a shame Vaughan didn’t draw for the comic in his gorgeous painted style too.

Hadrian Vile’s strip returns to its diary format with some big news for him and his family. Writer Mark Rodgers and artist Ian Jackson’s creation is about to have a baby sibling. As I’ve pointed out before Hadrian’s age increased in OiNK’s birthday issue and now we’d see his mum’s pregnancy for a number of months almost in real time, from the moment Hadrian notices her belly and her rather strange appetite (to say the least). What we have here is a typically funny Hadrian strip with a surprisingly sweet ending.

Hadrian would continue to make his mark on his mum’s pregnancy and in the end we’d see the big day arrive in a family-orientated issue with a special three-page strip. That’ll be in the latter part of this year. I do remember the strip didn’t go down the well-trodden route of the rebellious boy not having any interest with a cutesy baby in his life or disliking his younger sibling. Instead, Hadrian was instantly besotted and took her under his wing as his potential protégé! The regular strip was already a favourite, but with things like this it became an even more unique and original OiNK highlight.

OiNK had an eclectic style, drawing in established artists from the world of children’s comics, adult newspapers and magazines, as well as a range of younger contributors whose careers were only beginning. While other comics may have given the established cartoonists the larger pieces of work and the newcomers the smaller strips, in OiNK they were all treated as equals. For example, alongside those new to the world of kids’ comics were the likes of Mike Higgs, this issue contributing a simple half-page strip about the Statue of Liberty taking a hygiene break.

A couple of highlights from Steve Gibson’s contributions are next. At this point in the run Steve’s style was being used mainly to illustrate quizzes and fact sheet pages, such as the Coast-to-Coast Quiz where we see his version of Snatcher Sam aka Marc Riley, and then Hogathan King brings us Entertainments USA and a recently released cinema flop was squarely in Steve’s sights.

The next highlight was an easy choice to include. Jeremy Banx’s Mr Big Nose has done many things, such as playing Rambo in Little Bo Beep, having Christmas dinner with a turkey and hoovering with a dolphin (named Keith), but here in just half a page he succinctly sums up the US of A like no one else could. A publication like Private Eye could run this strip today and it’d be met with just as many laughs.

If any part of this issue could summarise the attitude OiNK had towards America it was that.

So why is my copy of #31 of my favourite comic of all time falling apart at the seams? Because it doesn’t have its staples anymore. But it’s not my fault they had to be removed. In the centre of this issue is a superb J.T. Dogg Street-Hogs poster showing Dirty Harry trailing a reluctant Hoggy Bare into action. But this is only one half of a double-sized gift from our ever-so-generous Uncle Pigg.

My personal favourite is the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin

The top half featuring Emma Pig and Hi-Fat can be found on the inside front and back covers, so to put the whole thing together kids were instructed to carefully undo the staples (don’t just pull!) and remove the middle poster, then pull the staples out from the rest of the comic, put the cover pages to the side and then somehow push the staples back in through the remaining 24 pages. Unless you have one of those really long office staplers that is impossible, it certainly was for me at this ripe old age never mind back then (I never pulled it apart as a child).

But in order to show you this as intended I couldn’t just pick up the middle of the comic and try to get a photo of the inside covers, so just for you lot my copy shall forever fall apart. See what I do for this site? Anyway, it really is a thing of beauty, just like all J.T. Dogg art. I also love the names of the bikes which I don’t think have been mentioned before; the Hogley-Davison Porkchopper 222, the Yakawaki Trikey-Wikey 5000 and my personal favourite the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin, a little dig at the Sinclair C5 personal electric cycle from the 80s.

The ‘Hogs will be back in the next issue with the start of their brand new adventure The Day of the Triffics, which was first name checked way back in #11. This, along with the back page of #27 acted as a way of hyping up the readership for their long-awaited return, although it was kind of lost on me because I hadn’t read their earlier strip, what with my first issue being #14. The artwork looked wonderful though and very funny, but nothing could prepare me for how much I’d fall in love with the characters just two weeks after these posters.

This issue has a “fantastic” back page too. When you flip the comic over you might think there’s been a printing error because it’s upside down but in reality it’s just another clever gag on the part of Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom. Frank’s showbiz career and (probably more importantly) lifestyle was his main running gag, with strips featuring him mingling with celebrities who in reality were cut-out photos glued to the page. With this issue of OiNK and you’ll see he’s taken it to the next level as a cover star of Time magazine.

Having this printed upside down means the comic opens on the correct side of this faux cover, which in itself is a little bit of genius. As ever, his attempts to convince us of his worldwide fame are hilariously portrayed. For example, one very quick glance at the background of the supposed Yellowstone National Park photograph will give the game away. Chris’ creations, showing his character’s poor attempts at creating a fictional reality around Frank’s ego were always a highlight and actually, as fun as the strips were, I think I preferred it when he did stuff like this.

I’ve (carefully) placed the comic back on to the shelf now as we’ve come to the end of yet another review. The next issue of OiNK is themed around sport which is not my favourite topic (Olympics aside) so it’ll be interesting to see how it tickles my funny bone. Remember, just the day before this review was published there was an in-depth look at Crash magazine #42 which featured an interview with OiNK’s three human editors and a lot more besides. The special free issue of OiNK given away with that magazine also has its own review. If you need to, catch up on those and then #32 of the regular comic will be here from Monday 11th July. Phew! See you soon I hope.

CRASH EDiTiON < > iSSUE 32

OiNK Media Coverage, OiNK Merchandise

CRASH #42: A SPECTRUM OF PiGGY PiNK

26 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

In 1987 “The Mag That Saves Your Bacon”, Sinclair ZX Spectrum computing magazine Crash (which ran for 98 issues between 1984 and 1992) approached IPC Magazines about interviewing the OiNK editors regarding the comic for a special preview of the forthcoming computer game. During these conversations the idea of producing a special edition of the comic to give away inside Crash came up. Co-creator/co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me the magazine’s publishers Newsfield were receptive to the idea, very open-minded about what it could contain and paid the OiNK team to produce it. That issue of Crash went on sale today 35 years ago.

So, with a special feature and an extra edition of my favourite comic of all time I just had to track this down on eBay. This is the only issue of Crash I’ve ever read. I found myself reading more than just the OiNK related pages too and have included some highlights I found particularly interesting below. First up though is the interview and a special page from Frank Sidebottom. The comic itself I’ll keep for a review post of its own, which you’ll be able to read in a few days. So what exactly would an issue of Crash involve? Here’s the contents page, with a little guest appearance from a certain explosive personality.

What it means by “it’s not really page 59″ is the fact the free comic was in the centre of the issue so if you opened at page 59 it would plop out. The title of the interview is another reference to George Orwell‘s Animal Farm, which OiNK parodied in #30, on sale at the same time coincidentally enough. In the editorial Roger Kean kicks things off by pointing out the free comic and the article, noting this is the first time they’ve ever teamed up with another publication.

Graeme Kidd‘s article is longer and more in-depth than the one featured in Zzap!64 the month before. While the Zzap preview had told the origin story of OiNK, Crash spoke with Tony Husband directly and there’s some wonderful pieces of information for pig pals. Zzap mentioned the initial idea had been for a fanzine, here Tony is able to elaborate on the reasons behind that. The initial chance meeting in a local library between Patrick and Mark Rodgers (both working on Whizzer and Chips without knowing each other) is also mentioned, a tale I’ve heard before briefly but again there’s more detail here.

“It’s a success story the comic’s creators hardly dreamed of.”
Graeme Kidd, Four Legs Good

There are some little factoids for fans such as OiNK’s sales, the dummy issue being met with a divided opinion at IPC Magazines but ultimately championed by the people who would make the call (Youth Group Managing Director John Sanders and ‘John Painter’ is an error, that should be Bob Paynter Group Editor of Humour Comics), the original strategy in its creation and how the idea of putting together a small, weekly comic was changed to a larger, fortnightly one. Of course, that weekly format is the one OiNK would eventually turn into (much to the annoyance of some).

There’s a funny moment when we find out a certain comics publisher wasn’t too happy with OiNK spoofs of their characters (one example mentioned can be seen in #18‘s review) and a horrific episode for a young reader whose mum showed just how hypocritical those who think they’re morally superior to others can really be (like certain scaremongering tabloids). At the end there’s a very quick preview of the game which, after painting a fascinating picture of the comic, shows us probably the most uninspired screenshot possible.

To see the original Janice & John strip Tony mentions check out #7‘s review and for OiNK’s response to the complaint make sure to read #28‘s!

Over the page from this piggy pink spread we get a little something extra from Frank Sidebottom in the shape of a guide to computers, which is really a competition page with rather wonderful prizes. If I’d known Crash had a free issue of OiNK and the chance to win original artwork, t-shirts, mugs etc. I’d have been all over this as a child, even if I wouldn’t own my own computer for another four years.

I must add a little caveat here. This doesn’t look like Frank’s usual handwriting and it’s been signed “Topbottom”. I initially thought he’d been in a rush to complete it for Crash’s deadline and that was the reason for the change in style slightly, but some fans believed it wasn’t his work when I initially shared this post on social media. I checked with Patrick who can’t remember if that was the case, but he’s certain Chris (Sievey, the man behind the mask) wouldn’t have knowingly let anyone else do it, especially if it meant copying his OiNK work. So I’m going to say it was him.

Just wait and see Frank’s contribution to the OiNK pullout comic, it’s proof indeed of just how much he’d put into his work for kids.

So that’s OiNK’s contribution to the magazine itself and strangely enough I can’t find evidence of the all-important game review in any following issue. Does this not bode well for the quality of the finished product? No, even if the game had been absolute trash the magazines of the time would’ve reviewed it and given it an appropriate score. But from my extensive research into the rest of that year’s issues (and those from 1988 as well) it just wasn’t reviewed by Crash. However, Zzap!64 did so watch out for that soon.

The debut of the brand new 007,
Timothy Dalton!

Back to Crash and as I said the free comic will be getting its own review post (as well it should) but I wanted to highlight two particular features in the magazine that stood out for me personally in this delightfully retro read. I’m a big fan of both James Bond and Nintendo, so first up was news of not only the next Bond computer game but also the brand new movie it was based on, The Living Daylights and the debut of a brand new 007 which is always an exciting occasion.

That actor of course was Timothy Dalton, who is still my favourite in the role to this day. His second movie, Licence To Kill is not only the best Bond film in my opinion it’s also my second favourite movie of all time (behind only Jaws, in case you were wondering). Unfortunately, with MGM going bankrupt a year or so later the movies paused until the mid-90s and by that stage Dalton wanted to move on. But The Living Daylights is a superb film and here Curtis Hutchinson took a look at its stunt work. Special mention must also go to that gorgeous Oliver Frey cover above! That would’ve made for an excellent poster but alas it was only ever to be found in A4 size and covered with text.

There’s also an advertisement for the game, which like a lot of our gaming adverts back then didn’t include a single screenshot. The Spy Vs Spy game was also a favourite later on when I got my Commodore 64, based upon characters from Mad Magazine, itself one of the influences behind OiNK’s sense of humour and satirical edge.

I do love a good contemporary retro article about new releases in the things I’m interested in. It’s always fascinating to look back at how they were written about at the time. The next thing I want to show you is another such example. As a kid I remember friends getting so incredibly hyped over new Nintendo consoles but I only became a fan later down the road with the Game Boy and GameCube machines. These days I’m fanatical about my Nintendo Switch and so this was a very enjoyable read about “Mattel’s Nintendo”. Mattel helped Nintendo with distribution in the UK but it was wrongly labelled as their machine and simply called “a Nintendo” by many at the time.

What’s lovely and quaint here is how the ZX Spectrum range of computers are compared very favourably to the flashy new Japanese console by Crash’s whole team. Of course this is a Spectrum magazine and so it was always going to be that way. I remember later issues of Commodore Format in the mid-90s comparing the ageing machine (which I still adored and used even then) favourably against the latest gaming tech. Bless. This article in particular is like a snapshot of the industry at the time. Oh, and for those Nintendo fans reading, the news pages carried information on a price cut to the system already but it must’ve been too late to edit the article. The two bundles had been chopped down to £99.99 and £155.00, which was fierce competition for the home computers of the day!

This has been a surprisingly magical trip down memory lane, one I’ve enjoyed immensely. Don’t forget about that Zzap!64 preview of the game and a Retro Gamer article from 2021 has also featured on the blog, containing an interview with the man behind the game. But we’ve not quite finished with this edition of Crash, as the free comic is still here waiting to be seen by blog readers. I’d assume for many it’ll probably be the first time you’ll have seen it too. It’s blog review will be here in a few days. After that the Zzap!64 review of the OiNK computer game itself will reveal how good/bad it turned out, which you’ll be able to read from Saturday 9th July. Later in the year I’ll have some articles from my own teenage favourite, Commodore Format to share later with you too. Plenty to het stuck into then. Bye for now.

THE OiNK! COMPUTER GAME MENU

OiNK MERCHANDiSE MENU

More OiNK

FRANK’S “ZEO-TROPE”: SiDEBOTTOM’S D.i.Y. ZOETROPE

27 April 2022 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

Yes, I’m taking a pair of scissors to a treasured issue of OiNK! No, I’m not still upset (35 years after the fact) with the 5p price rise this issue brought, #25 was the Toys and Hobbies issue and inside was a trove of activities for readers to cut out and make. One of these was Frank Sidebottom’s “zeo-trope” (sic). Back as a kid I never cut anything out of my precious comics, but I’m an adult now and can just go and buy a replacement on eBay, so I’m giving this a shot.

The correct spelling is ‘zoetrope’ and it’s a device which the dictionary describes as, “a 19th-century optical toy consisting of a cylinder with a series of pictures on the inner surface that, when viewed through slits with the cylinder rotating, give an impression of continuous motion”. This was a revelation in the days before film and something fun for viewers of various children’s art shows in the 80s to make.

Franks’ alter ego, Chris Sievey decided to try his hand at creating one so let’s see how good it is, shall we? We begin by gluing it to a piece of flexible card. I used a cereal box and the very second I glued it to the blank interior I realised I’d already made a mistake. With the brightly coloured cereal design on the side I’d be looking through to see the animation it would be too distracting when spun. I should’ve made sure the blank side of the cardboard was on the outside. So I glued it on to another piece of the box, blank side out, meaning it was rather more stiff than it should’ve been. Oh well.

Of course, this made cutting out the slits all the more difficult, what with having to slice through two layers of card and glue, and with 12 slots to cut out as neatly as possible this did result in some sore fingers with indents from the ridges of the knife, but that was my fault, not Frank’s. Only as I was doing this did I realise he’d actually numbered all of the slots too. Chris’ work in OiNK was always so intricate, beautifully coloured with felt tip pens and colouring pencils. Co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me he was always amazed at the amount of time and work Chris would put into his pages and the dedication he had for his OiNK work.

Carefully bending it every couple of centimetres I was able to finally get it into a circular shape. (Again, if I’d used one sheet of card this wouldn’t have been so fiddly.) Once glued together a little final squeezing and stretching to get it into as perfect a circle as possible was all that was needed. As instructed by Frank a record player is needed at this stage and luckily enough I have one of those. So it’s now time to see if this works. After all, some people who tried it out as a kid have told me it was pretty rubbish or didn’t work at all! Time to find out.

You have to focus your eye on one of the Franks but I think it works a treat, especially for a cut-out freebie in an old comic.

I remember as a kid those art shows would show zoetropes and we’d only see one of the images animating, making it look like an old-fashioned cartoon animation from the early days of film. Maybe if the device had different dimensions (larger device with smaller holes? I have no idea) it would look more professional but I still think the effect is great, with a group of Franks all strumming away and tapping their feet. I did try to play the OiNK flexidisk while it spun but due to it being only slightly larger than the zoetrope the player’s head hit it and kept skipping after a few seconds. So your ears have been spared!

If you want to give this a try for yourself you can usually pick up #25 of OiNK for no more than a few quid on eBay and this really is easy to put together. This isn’t like the impossible-to-build Road Hogg from #11 (although that didn’t stop one pig pal as you’ll see in that issue’s review). The zoetrope now sits alongside my OiNK collection on my comic shelves, looking like the most unusual little piece of merchandise you ever did see.

(Special thanks to my mate Kevin O’Prey for his help with YouTube. Kevin runs an ASMR channel called TheWhisperCorner which you can find here.)

‘MORE OiNK’ MENU