CRASH #42: A SPECTRUM OF PiGGY PiNK

In 1987 “The Mag That Saves Your Bacon”, Sinclair ZX Spectrum computing magazine Crash (which ran for 98 issues between 1984 and 1992) approached IPC Magazines about interviewing the OiNK editors regarding the comic for a special preview of the forthcoming computer game. During these conversations the idea of producing a special edition of the comic to give away inside Crash came up. Co-creator/co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me the magazine’s publishers Newsfield were receptive to the idea, very open-minded about what it could contain and paid the OiNK team to produce it. That issue of Crash went on sale today 35 years ago.

So, with a special feature and an extra edition of my favourite comic of all time I just had to track this down on eBay. This is the only issue of Crash I’ve ever read. I found myself reading more than just the OiNK related pages too and have included some highlights I found particularly interesting below. First up though is the interview and a special page from Frank Sidebottom. The comic itself I’ll keep for a review post of its own, which you’ll be able to read in a few days. So what exactly would an issue of Crash involve? Here’s the contents page, with a little guest appearance from a certain explosive personality.

What it means by “it’s not really page 59″ is the fact the free comic was in the centre of the issue so if you opened at page 59 it would plop out. The title of the interview is another reference to George Orwell‘s Animal Farm, which OiNK parodied in #30, on sale at the same time coincidentally enough. In the editorial Roger Kean kicks things off by pointing out the free comic and the article, noting this is the first time they’ve ever teamed up with another publication.

Graeme Kidd‘s article is longer and more in-depth than the one featured in Zzap!64 the month before. While the Zzap preview had told the origin story of OiNK, Crash spoke with Tony Husband directly and there’s some wonderful pieces of information for pig pals. Zzap mentioned the initial idea had been for a fanzine, here Tony is able to elaborate on the reasons behind that. The initial chance meeting in a local library between Patrick and Mark Rodgers (both working on Whizzer and Chips without knowing each other) is also mentioned, a tale I’ve heard before briefly but again there’s more detail here.


“It’s a success story the comic’s creators hardly dreamed of.”

Graeme Kidd, Four Legs Good

There are some little factoids for fans such as OiNK’s sales, the dummy issue being met with a divided opinion at IPC Magazines but ultimately championed by the people who would make the call (Youth Group Managing Director John Sanders and ‘John Painter’ is an error, that should be Bob Paynter Group Editor of Humour Comics), the original strategy in its creation and how the idea of putting together a small, weekly comic was changed to a larger, fortnightly one. Of course, that weekly format is the one OiNK would eventually turn into (much to the annoyance of some).

There’s a funny moment when we find out a certain comics publisher wasn’t too happy with OiNK spoofs of their characters (one example mentioned can be seen in #18‘s review) and a horrific episode for a young reader whose mum showed just how hypocritical those who think they’re morally superior to others can really be (like certain scaremongering tabloids). At the end there’s a very quick preview of the game which, after painting a fascinating picture of the comic, shows us probably the most uninspired screenshot possible.

To see the original Janice & John strip Tony mentions check out #7‘s review and for OiNK’s response to the complaint make sure to read #28‘s!

Over the page from this piggy pink spread we get a little something extra from Frank Sidebottom in the shape of a guide to computers, which is really a competition page with rather wonderful prizes. If I’d known Crash had a free issue of OiNK and the chance to win original artwork, t-shirts, mugs etc. I’d have been all over this as a child, even if I wouldn’t own my own computer for another four years.

I must add a little caveat here. This doesn’t look like Frank’s usual handwriting and it’s been signed “Topbottom”. I initially thought he’d been in a rush to complete it for Crash’s deadline and that was the reason for the change in style slightly, but some fans believed it wasn’t his work when I initially shared this post on social media. I checked with Patrick who can’t remember if that was the case, but he’s certain Chris (Sievey, the man behind the mask) wouldn’t have knowingly let anyone else do it, especially if it meant copying his OiNK work. So I’m going to say it was him.

Just wait and see Frank’s contribution to the OiNK pullout comic, it’s proof indeed of just how much he’d put into his work for kids.

So that’s OiNK’s contribution to the magazine itself and strangely enough I can’t find evidence of the all-important game review in any following issue. Does this not bode well for the quality of the finished product? No, even if the game had been absolute trash the magazines of the time would’ve reviewed it and given it an appropriate score. But from my extensive research into the rest of that year’s issues (and those from 1988 as well) it just wasn’t reviewed by Crash. However, Zzap!64 did so watch out for that soon.

The debut of the brand new 007,
Timothy Dalton!

Back to Crash and as I said the free comic will be getting its own review post (as well it should) but I wanted to highlight two particular features in the magazine that stood out for me personally in this delightfully retro read. I’m a big fan of both James Bond and Nintendo, so first up was news of not only the next Bond computer game but also the brand new movie it was based on, The Living Daylights and the debut of a brand new 007 which is always an exciting occasion.

That actor of course was Timothy Dalton, who is still my favourite in the role to this day. His second movie, Licence To Kill is not only the best Bond film in my opinion it’s also my second favourite movie of all time (behind only Jaws, in case you were wondering). Unfortunately, with MGM going bankrupt a year or so later the movies paused until the mid-90s and by that stage Dalton wanted to move on. But The Living Daylights is a superb film and here Curtis Hutchinson took a look at its stunt work. Special mention must also go to that gorgeous Oliver Frey cover above! That would’ve made for an excellent poster but alas it was only ever to be found in A4 size and covered with text.

There’s also an advertisement for the game, which like a lot of our gaming adverts back then didn’t include a single screenshot. The Spy Vs Spy game was also a favourite later on when I got my Commodore 64, based upon characters from Mad Magazine, itself one of the influences behind OiNK’s sense of humour and satirical edge.

I do love a good contemporary retro article about new releases in the things I’m interested in. It’s always fascinating to look back at how they were written about at the time. The next thing I want to show you is another such example. As a kid I remember friends getting so incredibly hyped over new Nintendo consoles but I only became a fan later down the road with the Game Boy and GameCube machines. These days I’m fanatical about my Nintendo Switch and so this was a very enjoyable read about “Mattel’s Nintendo”. Mattel helped Nintendo with distribution in the UK but it was wrongly labelled as their machine and simply called “a Nintendo” by many at the time.

What’s lovely and quaint here is how the ZX Spectrum range of computers are compared very favourably to the flashy new Japanese console by Crash’s whole team. Of course this is a Spectrum magazine and so it was always going to be that way. I remember later issues of Commodore Format in the mid-90s comparing the ageing machine (which I still adored and used even then) favourably against the latest gaming tech. Bless. This article in particular is like a snapshot of the industry at the time. Oh, and for those Nintendo fans reading, the news pages carried information on a price cut to the system already but it must’ve been too late to edit the article. The two bundles had been chopped down to £99.99 and £155.00, which was fierce competition for the home computers of the day!

This has been a surprisingly magical trip down memory lane, one I’ve enjoyed immensely. Don’t forget about that Zzap!64 preview of the game and a Retro Gamer article from 2021 has also featured on the blog, containing an interview with the man behind the game. But we’ve not quite finished with this edition of Crash, as the free comic is still here waiting to be seen by blog readers. I’d assume for many it’ll probably be the first time you’ll have seen it too. It’s blog review will be here in a few days. After that the Zzap!64 review of the OiNK computer game itself will reveal how good/bad it turned out, which you’ll be able to read from Saturday 9th July. Later in the year I’ll have some articles from my own teenage favourite, Commodore Format to share later with you too. Plenty to het stuck into then. Bye for now.

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COMiNG UP: OiNK! #31

Coming up in a few days on the blog is the all-American issue of OiNK, complete with a snazzy new colouring of the famous piggy pink logo. There’s a special feature film spoof starring a giant ape-pig (no, really), some big news for Hadrian Vile‘s future, a new writer appears in OiNK for the first time and in just half a page Mr Big Nose sums up the very soul of the US of A.

My #31 is without its staples so has to be read very carefully for fear of it falling apart, but that’s not because of wear and tear from me as an overly eager youngster. No, there’s a very specific reason we were asked to take our issues apart (carefully) and it involves the return of none other than the Street-Hogs! To find out what I’m wittering on about you can check out the review of #31 from Monday 17th June 2022.

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OiNK! #30: THE SPiTTiNG iMAGE OF FUN!

This cover really takes me back and I’m not just talking abut OiNK itself. I’m clearly referencing the classic puppet satire show Spitting Image, whose characters were used in this edition. I was also a big fan of the series even if at that age a lot of the jokes went over my head. But there were always enough to keep me giggling for half an hour on a Sunday night. For our 30th issue they’ve collaborated with Uncle Pigg for the results of the OiNK Awards as voted for by pig pals.

We’ll get to that in a bit, although you can see from the front cover who won The World’s Biggest Wally. We kick off with our final set of free postcards, plonked in the middle of the award ceremony itself. Following up on Jeremy Banx and Lew Stringer is Ian Jackson with these brilliant Uncle Pigg and Mary Lighthouse (critic) cards. I think both of these would’ve been great advertisements in other comics for OiNK, or made for very funny postcards to drop through the letterbox of unsuspecting family members waiting for a picturesque beach or mountaintop.

The issue itself begins with Mary’s own strip welcoming us to the subject of celebrities. Written as ever by Mark Rodgers and again drawn by Ian, she’s disgusted that respected famous people would be getting the OiNK treatment like this, but thinks the inclusion of herself on one of the postcards will send the right message. Naturally, it doesn’t quite work out as she planned and my favourite funny moment here comes right at the end with that poor policeman.

There’s another very important award to hand out this issue, the ‘Most Helpful Superhero Award’ so surely that means our resident high-flying, highly smelly Rubbish Man by David Haldane is up for a gong. Well no, apparently his whiffy antics aren’t award material. While he can make a hash of things, most times he does end up saving the day, but with that comes the pong and the mess left behind; not of destroyed buildings and terrified citizens but of mouldy mashed potatoes and cold spaghetti bolognese left everywhere. However, now he’s on a mission to prove he deserves recognition as a true hero.

This is one of my favourite Rubbish Man strips and contains nearly all of the elements that made David’s creation so enjoyable. We’ve got a ridiculous situation to begin with, an introduction of another completely random enemy character, an unsurpassed level of ever-increasing daftness in every single panel, our hero trying his best but failing epically and an ending you won’t see coming. In fact, the only thing missing is those aforementioned rotting foodstuffs he’d secrete from various parts of his body, with only his stench in the first panels reminding us of his unwelcome powers.

Even an old armchair can be a superhero in Haldane’s world, and even an old armchair that’s in the right spot by pure chance is a more welcome hero for the populace it would seem. Poor Rubbish Man. But Jimmy Bung (his alter-ego) isn’t the only character whose attempts at helping others regularly backfires, as equally (if not, more so) smelly alien Burp can attest. In this issue his latest invention teleports fast food straight into people’s stomachs so they don’t have to taste it but as always it doesn’t go quite as planned, as you can see in one of this issue’s many highlights. Also, check out Steve Gibson’s fruity version of Dustin Hoffman on the celebrity news page and our Wonder Pig gets yet another new name.

It’s time for the main event. With categories such as Worst Pop Group, Worst Dressed Person, Unfunniest Comedian and even Worst Comic, the readers of OiNK didn’t hold back in sharing what they thought of celebrities and 80s culture. There are quite a few on the shortlist, and even some I was a huge fan of at the time but it was all in good jest, giving the young readers the chance to take their own pot shots at the likes of those OiNK had targeted since the very beginning.

Taking up four pages in the middle of the issue we first get a chance to see each of the ten categories and the top three contenders in each, assembled by co-editor Patrick Gallagher. This opens out into the spread in the middle of the comic with those glorious Spitting Image Workshop puppets accepting the awards (a printed piece of card on a lanyard), although there was a particular recipient who looked incredibly lifelike as you’ll see. Tony Husband organised the photoshoot with the programme and Ian Tilton was the photographer (as an aside, Ian’s brother Mark was in the band The Creepers with OiNK’s Marc Riley), with radio DJ John Peel presenting the Most Annoying DJ Award. John had already contributed to #16 and had even played the flexidisc on air.

Kudos to Steve Wright for playing along. Tony told me recently Steve was great on the day and had a brilliant sense of humour about the whole thing when he found out. Given who helped with this it’s a surprise to see The Chicken Song take away the World’s Worst Pop Song Award. Although let’s face it, Spitting Image’s song was purposefully written to be very annoying, a parody of the string of summer pop entries that were filling the 80s charts. Bob Geldof and Ronald Reagan get well-deserved titles, although I can’t help but disagree with George Michael‘s and I’ve at least a few female friends who might take issue with the pig pals over that one.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series

All British comics are eclipsed by Beano, a regular target of OiNK’s for its safe humour and out-of-date characters at the time so it had a good chance of winning the Worst Comic Award. It’s completely reimagined itself over the intervening years and today contains a lot of rebellious, anarchic humour that would make Uncle Pigg proud, not least thanks to some cartoonists who grew up with our piggy publication. It’s a great comic and if you’ve any kids yourselves then you should definitely take advantage of the superb online subscription offers they always run.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series, the puppets of which were designed by co-creator/editor Patrick Gallagher, and later in the 90s he’d be a commissioned writer on Spitting Image for six years. What a shame this was the only awards ceremony the comic would do, despite these being labelled as the first. It’s brilliant fun and looked like it was a blast to be a part of. As far as this reader is concerned it remains one of the most memorable highlights of the comic’s whole run. For now, let’s move on to something more “interleckshual”.

Hadrian Vile’s unique perspective perfectly matches the subject matter here. Taking a fresh look at the royals, politicians and more from the viewpoint of a child is a good idea on its own, but Hadrian’s character elevates it. He always thought of himself as being intellectually superior to pretty much everyone around him, so his child’s viewpoint is presented very matter-of-fact, very seriously in his young mind. Of course this means it’s all completely bonkers, just perfect for the 80s in fact.

Written by Mark Rodgers and illustrated by Ian Jackson, it’s always funny to see Ian’s interpretation of famous people, his jagged, exaggerated style perfectly capturing personalities as well as looks. In a way this page seems to go hand-in-hand with all of the television puppets contained in this issue. It’s also not the only time that British Prime Minister popped up in the issue, in fact she gets a starring role in the origin story of a certain critic and nemesis of our editor hog.


Two legs bad. Four legs better.

Davey’s Jones’ Prime Monster

Davey Jones brings us Prime Monster (as ever with Davey it’s even signed in a silly way), which takes place a few decades before the 80s when we find two young girls by the names of Margaret and Mary down on the pig farm. The two spoilt brats have reckoned with the wrong set of little piglets to bully because in amongst their number is one teeny tiny pig who has already got the prerequisite pencil behind his ear. Amongst all the chaos Davey has even seen fit to include a couple of very OiNK-like riffs on a famous George Orwell quote. A great strip. Here it is, have fun.

Of course these two women would’ve been the best of childhood friends! At least in OiNKtown anyway. Yes, the characters and their stories were set in ‘OiNKtown’, a basic take on Beanotown. In the earlier issues PORKsmouth was used a couple of times but more as a place to ridicule and, obviously, somewhere Mary Lighthouse loved to visit. Surely Porksmouth would’ve been a better name than OiNKtown though? Anyway, I digress (as I do). For now that’s the end of the review, with just enough space to tell you about what’s coming up next.

The next regular OiNK will be an all-American issue and its review will be here from Monday 13th June 2022 but before that there’s a special extra to watch out for in the shape of Crash magazine #42. Regular readers of the blog will know what this is in reference to, but if you’re not up to speed go and check out the post about Zzap!64 #26 from last month. Crash not only contained an interview with OiNK’s three creators and an original Frank Sidebottom page, there was also the small matter of a special, free, original 16-page edition of our favourite comic! Check out Crash from Saturday 25th June, the free OiNK a few days later. It was an exciting time to be a pig pal in 1987, I hope I can recreate a little of that excitement right here.

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COMiNG UP: OiNK! #30

Remember those OiNK Awards back in #18, the first issue of 1987? The comic asked its young readership to vote on everything from World’s Biggest Wally to Most Irritating DJ. Well, the results are in. In the next issue of OiNK it’ll be time to see exactly what us pig pals thought of the world of celebrity back in the 1980s. Better still, a certain puppet-based satire TV show steps in to help out. This one is going to be good.

Highlights in the review will also include Rubbish Man‘s own attempts to receiving an award and finally get some recognition, Hadrian Vile breaks down famous people of the 80s for us in his inimitable style and we have an origin story for Mary Lighthouse (critic) with a special guest star. Not a surprise guest star though. This Iron Lady just had to be friend’s with Uncle Pigg’s nemesis, as you’ll see. The review for #30 of OiNK will be right here from Monday 13th June 2022.

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JURASSiC PARK #11: ‘RAPTOR’ MEANS ‘BiRD OF PREY’

It’s been a long wait for this issue of Jurassic Park so I’m chomping at the bit to get stuck in. I can remember as a teen being overjoyed to finally see the comic appear again, however my initial reactions once I opened it were mixed. First of all this is my very favourite cover of the whole series. No, a Velociraptor doesn’t really take control of the plane, it’s just a funny reference to the main story inside. To this day Michael Golden‘s cover still raises a giggle which I’m sure was the intention. I just wish it wasn’t covered with so much text.

But then came a little bit of disappointment because I discovered there were eight less pages, reduced from 36 to 28 and there was only the one back up strip, no Xenozoic Tales in sight. I’d been really enjoying those stories but at least Age of Reptiles was still here and it was as magnificent as always. Things would (begin to) return to normal next month but initially I didn’t know this so I wasn’t sure if Tenrec and Hannah would return. What is here is great fun though, so let’s get going.

In the world of Jurassic Park small, seemingly inconsequential actions can have catastrophic consequences

The final part of Steve Englehart’s Dark Cargo begins with the pilot doing what humans always do in the world of Jurassic Park; proving that small, seemingly inconsequential actions can have catastrophic consequences. Feeling the plane’s weight shift about he puts it on autopilot and goes to help George Lawala, finding he’s already killed one of the juvenile ‘raptors. But they don’t see another skulking in the shadows, hunting the two men. It attacks, killing the pilot and maiming Lawala, but not before he’s able to shoot it in the neck.

It’s here when Jurassic Park makes its real point of difference. Dr Ellie Satler (she and Dr Alan Grant were Lawala’s prisoners, check out the previous reviews) hears the gun shot and discovers the horrific scene, the dinosaur dying in front of her. Even knowing it would’ve killed her in a heartbeat and that its siblings must be nearby doesn’t stop her from trying to save its life. It was just doing what it does, hunting prey to eat. I love this page.

A quick note about the artwork. The final panel above is a strange one and at times penciller Armando Gil does seem to draw the ‘raptors in a way in which they’re not really identifiable (sometimes in this chapter it’s also confusing in regards to which one is which and we have to rely on the dialogue to decipher the images), but mainly he has done a great job of capturing the dinosaurs as real world animals (check out his magnificent Tyrannosaurus rex in #6). His action scenes can sometimes seem sparse, but inkers Dell Barras and Fred Carrillo imbue them with great texture and atmospheric shadowing. John Costanza is our letterer and Renée Witterstaetter brings bold colours alongside her role as Story Editor.


“The ‘raptors.. somehow, it’s got to be the ‘raptors..!!”

Dr. Ellie Satler

While Ellie ties a tourniquet around the animal’s neck another ‘raptor is looking on, which Alan spots and distracts, with both it and the final sibling giving chase. Panicking, he dives into an open crate but escapes through a side hatch as the dinosaurs jump in after him. Able to close the hatch and lid he traps them inside, attaches the pulley system and dangles them out the back of the bomber! Well, out there they can’t do any harm. Famous last words, Alan. This is Jurassic Park after all.

Suddenly the plane starts diving and they rush for the cockpit. Refreshingly, they don’t immediately take to the controls and somehow land the plane like in every movie and TV show ever. Instead, Alan admits the only thing he recognises is the wheel and he tries desperately to stop them crashing, not really sure what to do. The plane is being pulled about and the autopilot was knocked off, but why? Ellie is sure it has to be the Velociraptors, but how? Take a look at the page above.

I remember reading this at the time and being thrilled with the intelligence of the dinosaurs, especially this lot. You have to remember before the first movie came along the general public had a vision of dinosaurs as stupid big lumbering lizards. Jurassic Park changed all that and I can distinctly remember that same feeling of excitement from this comic. The swinging crate pulls the plane further down, Alan struggling to level it off in a desperate bid to stop it nosediving when we get to this month’s cliffhanger.

The voice from the other side of the binoculars is going to be key to how this story develops from here on. It’s a more exciting cliffhanger than the one which led to a two month wait, so thank goodness we’re back to a monthly schedule again. I can remember parts of the strips to come, in particular what Ellie saving one of the ‘raptors will mean later, and I can’t wait to revisit these stories and compare them to the movie series we’ve had since.

For now, take a good long look at this piece of gorgeousness.

As I said at the top of the review there are only two strips this month, with our main story and the one back up getting equal space of 12 pages apiece. So we’re straight into the Age of Reptiles. It opens with the panel at the top of this post, which certainly sets the scene! That is followed with the above spread and I find myself just completely immersed in this world again. Still up upon the cliffs, the Deinonychuses attack the T-rex pair. They put their all in, I’ll give them that, but they never stood a chance.

One is kicked over the side and lands in deep water below, quickly swallowed up by a giant ocean predator. The remaining two are swiped off the side by a glancing blow from a ‘rex  tail, one landing hard on the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, dying instantly but breaking the fall of the other. Throughout this, and the rest of the story, the individual characters really shine through, as you can see from this selection of highlights below.

From being taken by surprise from behind, to the horror of their friend dying, to the little baby T-rex being coached to hunt by their parent Long Jaw, every dinosaur here is an individual brought to life by the genius of creator/writer/artist Ricardo Delgado and colourist James Sinclair.

The youngster spots Dark Eye who is clearly deliberately wanting to be chased, as you can tell from that final panel above. That pose almost says, “Me?”. Haha, it’s brilliant. The young inexperienced hunter doesn’t realise it’s a trap and gives chase. When his prey disappears behind a rock he follows blindly, right into an ambush of half a dozen of Dark Eye’s pack. Long Jaw is the adult T-rex and suddenly he realises he’s alone! He runs through the forest in desperate panic, following the trail or possibly the scent and finally comes upon this scene on the final page of the chapter.

I vividly remember seeing this image for the first time back in 1994. The towering Long Jaw roaring into the sunset, the flying predators already circling and the heartbreaking image on the ground. It was truly shocking. I’m sure I wasn’t the only reader who’d loved the tiny little ‘rex, such was his depiction in this and previous issues. We’re racing towards the climax of Age of Reptiles and I know it was big, I know it was ultimately a very satisfying conclusion, but for the life of me I can’t remember how it ends. It was 28 years ago after all. I’ll impatiently wait and see.

Both of these strips ratcheted up the tension so I’m really looking forward to the next issue. This one may have been thinner than any other in the series and down one strip but what is here is superb from start to finish. Plus, I’ll just mention how much I love that cover image again. To finish with the final two pages contain more of those retro adverts, the first of which is for a video release of a show I remember being on TV at the time, and the back cover is for a comic magazine from Dark Horse International that would end up saving Jurassic Park from an even earlier cancellation. More on that later in the summer.

Just on a personal note, it’s so strange to look back and see a video for £10 that only contained one episode of a show. I do remember buying Babylon 5 on VHS, each volume costing £8.99 and containing only two episodes. It’s crazy to think back to that now when we’re so used to box sets. Two Christmases ago I was able to purchase the entire five seasons of B5, 111 episodes for £40 on my Apple TV! (All restored to their original aspect ratio and remastered by the way, just to let fellow fans know.) How times have changed.

Anyway, back to Jurassic Park and that’s where we leave things for now. The next issue’s review will be here from Thursday 7th July 2022 and by then I’m sure most fans will have seen the brand new film which is due for release tomorrow as of the time of writing. Suddenly, remembering buying these comics is making me feel very old!

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