OiNK Blog

OiNK! #22: MAGiCAL MAYHEM

2 March 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This review was due on 21st February, click here to find out about the delay. More catch-ups to come this week.

After all our characters became so loved up in the Valentine’s issue it’s time for them to face adventure, danger, fantasy quests and newly discovered Egyptian tombs in back gardens in Timperley. The 22nd issue of OiNK is the Magic and Fantasy Issue and kicks off with a gorgeous Andy Roper cover that ties in (sort of) to the first episode of The Spectacles of Doom inside. Not only that though, but this is that staple of 80s and 90s UK comics, a wraparound cover poster. Have a look.

So how does it only sort of tie in with the strip? Well, that figure on the front is clearly modelled on main character Prince Endor but he’s actually the dimwitted hero of the tale, whereas above he’s portrayed as a vicious butcher, complete with apron and sausages wrapped around his neck. That’s certainly not who he is, so I’m not at all sure why he’s been drawn as the baddie here. Maybe it’s just an example of another 80s thing we all knew very well, the evil twin! Yes, that’ll do, I’ll go with that.

The strip itself is the first of a short two-part mini-series written by one of OiNK’s creators/editors Tony Husband and drawn by Andy. Taking a shot at the fantasy adventure movies of the 80s which all seemed to involve epic journeys across dangerous, impossibly-named lands with very specific ways of dying around every corner, Tony’s script is full of originality and wit. I particularly like the solution to crossing the Valley of a Million jokes.

The Spectacles of Doom proved popular and returned for a longer five-part serial later and then again in a spectacle-arly illustrated final episode in the second (and last) OiNK Book. Both of these would be in colour and were just as much a treat for the eyes as they were for the funny bone. You can see an example of the art from the annual story in the obituary for the late and very, very great Andy.

Under a Weedy Willy strip a few pages later in the comic the remainder of the page is seemingly filled up with a few advertisements. There are the usual ones for stamp collecting and practical jokes which I’m sure readers of basically any comic from the mid-80s will remember, but something stuck out about the one next to them, something created by Patrick Gallagher.

Oh, that tin can! I can still remember seeing that tin can for the first time. I’m sure it took all of five minutes to put together but I found it so funny as a kid that I haven’t forgotten it. It’s strange the things that left a lasting impression on us from this comic. Sometimes the simplest ideas really are the best.

There’s one line from a particular strip which has been quoted more often than any other

Over the past several years I’ve had the pleasure of chatting away with fellow pig pals across social media, sharing memories as we reminisce about our OiNK comic collections which were lost to house moves or decluttering parents over the years. Thinking about those conversations there’s one line from a particular strip which has been quoted more often than any other. That line is in the following Mr. Big Nose strip by the incredibly talented Jeremy Banx. I’m sure you’ll be able to work out which line it is.

Every now and again in a string of comments an OiNK fan will randomly proclaim, “And the dolphin’s name was Keith” and everyone will know exactly what they’re referring to. I do remember laughing hysterically at the caption when I first read it way back in 1986 and even now as an adult, knowing it’s coming, it elicits childish giggles in me every single time. I also love how Jeremy has drawn the dolphin! One of my very favourite strips from all of OiNK’s issues and a fan favourite with many others it would seem. A lovely little random gem.

Elsewhere in this issue Pete and his Pimple visits a witch who concocts a rather dodgy solution to his problem, then perhaps a relative of her’s in one-off strip The Magic Forest second-guesses her own recipe list, and Nigel and Skrat the Two-Headed Rat makes a surprise reappearance to con some magic fans into handing over their money so they can chow down on their favourite food stuff.

**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**The Magic Forest** written by *Howard Osborn*, drawn by *Mike Green*
**Nigel & Skrat** by *Noel Ford*

Now, back at school a few friends became obsessed with fantasy role-playing games, playing with nothing more than dice and their imagination. I always wondered how they kept track of everything and what stopped them from cheating, but a few years later the board game HeroQuest came along and I saw first-hand how it all worked, albeit with a game board and actual player pieces. (Actually, now that I’m thinking about it I remember the Space Crusade board game in the 90s and coming up with a version of that which utilised the Barcode Battler! Do you remember that thing? Whoa, sorry, that just came back to me.)

Anyway, it would appear OiNK decided to have a little stab at its own version of one of these games with The Sword of Blatterlee. Played over two pages, it all kicks off with a quick scenario containing more strange names and a map of the castle you’re going to raid (one room now more sinister than it would’ve been at the time). Below that are the instructions for playing with dice and they’re just as straight forward and as easy to follow as I remember when my friends were trying to describe their game in the playground. Then it’s on to page two and the conclusion of your quest, so enjoy.

Of course it all has to end with a good (bad?) old pun, doesn’t it? I feel a bit guilty setting you up for that. But just a little. I asked co-editor Patrick Gallagher who created this when I spotted a tiny little “AW” behind our hero character, the initials unfamiliar to me. He’s not sure who the artist was (possibly a junior artist from Cosgrove Hall) but he’s almost certain Mark Rodgers wrote it. With that pun right at the end I’d have to agree.

From spoofing the games we now move on to having a giggle at the fans themselves, all in an affectionate way of course and a strip I’m sure my friends would’ve appreciated and found just as funny. Dice Maniac was created by Lew Stringer and only appeared in two issues of OiNK, but both were winners. The name (specifically the logo as seen below in an image from Comic Vine) was a parody of a short-lived 2000AD spin-off comic which only ran for five issues and had already been cancelled by this time.

Lew’s take focussed more on the fans of the dice-based role-playing games and young Frodo Johnson (funny use of the fantasy and the mundane) has taken his obsession of rolling dice to battle beasts and find treasures and brought it into his real life. No decision is made without a roll and every person or thing he encounters, no matter how ordinary, is transformed by his imagination into a quest to be undertaken or an enemy to defeat. Of course, every time he decides to use the dice it ends in disaster, but he’s never phased and I love that about him. Such a shame he would only appear in one later edition.

A double dose of David Haldane now, beginning with a quick trip to Zootown. The best episodes of these mini-strips were always the ones where the animals were dressed as we would be, with jobs or personal events taken straight from the human world, but with their animal traits providing the laughs. This is the perfect example and another classic funny strip.

David’s other highlight is one of the best pages of the whole issue. Conan the Barbarian as played by Arnold Schwarzenegger had been a massive hit in 1982, but between then and OiNK’s creation its sequel and attempted spin-off Red Sonja both flopped at the box office. Spoof movie sequels were some of the very best one-off strips in OiNK and David’s take on the genre is no exception.

Perhaps due to the original’s success and Arnie’s role still very much being in the public consciousness (or maybe inspired by the unsuccessful sequels) David has created the origin story for his own muscle-bound fantasy hero, Konan the Accountant. Action, adventure, thrills, spills and a twist ending. What’s not to love?

That final panel is just brilliant. All of that build up, all of that gorgeous grey-shaded extravagances to the story, all brushed aside for a plainly drawn office job and the whole narrative completely forgotten about with one hilariously written caption. Brilliant stuff.

We’re almost done for another issue of the world’s greatest comic and one lovely treat awaits. As someone who is fascinated with Ancient Egypt, last Halloween (#13) Banx’s The Curse of the Mummy really was a special one for me. Now it’s the turn of OiNK’s superstar in residence, Frank Sidebottom (aka Chris Sievey) to bring us a page of Pharaohs, pyramids and ancient tombs, all in his unique style. There’s a lot to love here for me personally, but also simply in the fun and imagination on show.

Frank wearing a burial mask had me sold from the start, but also the way it’s laid out, the writing and the colouring reminds me so much of the homemade comics my best friend and I would’ve created for each other back in primary school. (He created School Busters and The Battle-Oids, mine were called The Real Smokebusters and War-Bots… I wonder what inspired us.) Frank’s pages were unlike anything you’d find in any other comic. Period. Perfect for OiNK. My particular favourite moment here is how the name King Maurice Karmen reads just like another random name until we find out his brother’s first name.

Classic.

“And the dolphin’s name was Keith.”
Mr. Big Nose (Jeremy Banx)

That just about wraps up our trip into dangerous lands, ancient curses and medieval quests. Next, OiNK comes bang up to date* with the All-Electric Issue on Monday 7th March 2022. So that gives you time to recharge, before you lead yourself back here to power through more of the same shockingly good humour.

*for the 80s

iSSUE 21 < > iSSUE 23

OiNK! #21: LOVELY COMEDY

7 February 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Let me think back to Valentine’s Day 1987. Nope, nothing too embarrassing to think of, just posting a card through a girl’s door then running away, then worrying she wouldn’t see it, running back and ringing the doorbell before running away again, this time getting noticed by said girl as I made my escape. The next day in school was dreaded. At least I had the Valentine’s themed issue of OiNK to cheer me up and love was most certainly in the air, beginning with this Tony Husband cover depicting Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins and his beloved Mandy.

The cover was drawn by Tony and airbrushed by John Moorhouse, an artist on a tabloid at the time who had also worked on some of Tony’s Playboy cartoons. Things are nice and rosy here on the cover for the couple but inside Mandy’s family were emigrating and taking her with them, leaving Horace alone in the hospital recovering after a recent BMX jousting accident. (It’s a long story.) Thankfully things are happier for other characters in this issue, such as those featured in an introduction to the power of love for the young target audience. Which features an alien attack. Naturally.

The Lesson of Love was written by Mark Rodgers who plays Bloonik in the strip and the young lady of the happy couple is Helen Jones, Mark’s partner in real life and future wife. Her character’s boyfriend is actually played by her brother Andy Jones and as for the other alien, well that would be none other than OiNK cartoonist extraordinaire Ian Jackson. This was the closest I got to seeing what he looked like until just last year! The strip is genuinely funny of course, but what I always found particularly hilarious in these photo stories was the imagination on show.

Ingenious and properly laugh-out-loud funny, imagine the fun they had putting it together

They spent next to no money on these and it always showed, with cheap sets, drawn-on special effects and in the case of this story a photograph of a toy spacecraft glued on. This was always the point, to spoof the cheap photo stories found in women’s magazines. The alien faces are paint or marker pen, with big rubber ears and some form of cut-out eye shapes, possibly egg cartons. Add some circles to their clothes and we have ourselves some silly aliens and their spacecraft interior set is the boiler in Mark’s house. Ingenious and properly laugh-out-loud funny, so I can only imagine the amount of fun they all had putting it together.

What kind of Valentine’s issue would it be without a tale of forbidden passion? Something possibly inspired by Romeo and Juliet. A love-conquers-all story. A happy-ever-after for two star-crossed lovers who just so happen to be a liver and a spleen. You know, real classic stuff. Obviously I could only be talking about a Burp strip and in this case Jeremy Banx outdoes himself with the surreal tale of two of the smelly alien’s internal organs and their undying feelings for one another.

There’s a lot to love here. I particularly like the throwaway lines such as Burp not even realising they knew each other, giving the impression of his body being full of sentient organs, each with their own set of friends and neighbours. I also burst out laughing with the mention of “dirty stop-outs”, a phrase my young, innocent self wouldn’t know the meaning of for quite a few years. A perfect example of how OiNK worked on many levels.

Very funny stuff indeed but what else would we expect from Jeremy? The lovebirds would also pop up again in a future issue. Next up is another way in which OiNK parodied the romantic stories found in stereotypical supermarket weeklies of the day. In years past on holiday with my other half at the time she’d bring a random selection of said magazines for when we were relaxing by the pool. I’d have a glance at them on occasion and always thought they were truly terrible.

“I thought it was indigestion, but now I realise that I am in love with you.”
Lord Wigfall

With their unbelievable romantic text stories, horrific “true” stories sold for a quick profit and umpteen celebrity ‘news’ (term used loosely) articles, I always thought how shallow and silly they were as I relaxed in the sun with my Marvel Secret Wars and Transformers. She thought they were silly too, but there was clearly a market for them. The far-fetched love stories would be aimed at the singletons in the readership with dreams of meeting the perfect partner (think Channel Five afternoon TV movies) and Patrick Gallagher decided he’d write his own version.

I recognise one or two of the facial features used in those photofit-like images. They also perfectly sum up those prose stories; an amalgamation of every reader’s ideal romance, mish-mashed into one truly unbelievable story. Think of how Bridget Jones fantasised about meeting the perfect man, how unrealistic her expectations of the world were because she read/watched stories like those. OiNK just took the ingredients and ran with them, taking it to the extreme.

As a child I remember sitting with my siblings and watching Charlie Brown and the Peanuts. It really wasn’t for me. Charlie himself grated on me. This was just my personal opinion of course, we’re all different and many adored him on the telly and in his original comic strip form. I did love Snoopy though and have heard wonderful things about his new Apple TV+ shows. However, this Peabrains strip below (also by Patrick) was much more entertaining to me as a kid than the original source material.

In fact, I think that last panel perfectly summed up how I felt about the cartoons back then, when I enjoyed everything about the Charlie Brown show except Charlie Brown. Of course, it wouldn’t be an OiNK spoof of a popular franchise without a dig at the merchandise. I remember the Disney watches, the Simpsons clock radios and the overpriced Thomas greetings cards of my own youth, all perfectly summed up here. Although I don’t think mine were quite so overpriced (it just felt like it to my parents).

There are a couple of smaller highlights that stood out this issue I wanted to share. The first is on the Grunts letters page (compiled by Patrick Gallagher) where the theme includes some fan mail for Mary Lighthouse (critic). However, one of these in particular caught my eye. Now I’m sure it’s just coincidence, after all the former TV presenter and tabloid journalist would’ve been 21 at the time, but it does sound like the kind of thing someone who complains about name changes in Beano would say, does it not? Then there’s the quiz, Are You A Fool For Love? and its rather to-the-point multiple choice options!

Turning over a page the comic suddenly breaks from its loved up contents to hit us with an urgent Butcher Watch update from Jeremy Banx. This semi-regular series of news bulletins warned readers about the country’s nastiest meat vendors and began in #8 while Uncle Pigg was on holiday. Then in #14 one of three featured faces belonged to a creation of Jeremy’s called Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith.

That was his first appearance but he immediately struck a chord with readers, who sent in pictures of him and updated fellow pig pals on where he’d been spotted. As OiNK continued he’d feature more and more; the Butcher Watch Updates would become more elaborate, evolving into full comic strips and he’d have the starring role, and he’d even go on to star in two serials in the weekly comic (in #45, its prequel in #55) and pop up on an iconic cover. Here marks the first occasion Jeremy singled him out.

Remembering back to my original time with OiNK, it felt like Jimmy was always there, lurking about. We’d never know when he’d make a sudden appearance. Reading through OiNK now, it’s interesting to see he was just another random butcher before the readers took to him, their feedback bringing him to the fore. Jeremy then made sure that craggy face would return to haunt us again and again in some genuinely creepy moments, some that really surprised me!

Back in #6 the excellent Watery Down was a big, two-page build up to one great joke. I’m very happy to say Tony Husband has written a strip for this issue which takes over two pages with a similar idea. This time the subject of the parody is Emily Brontë‘s classic 1847 novel Wuthering Heights. (How often can you get to mention that in a review of a children’s comic?) Even if you have only a passing bit of knowledge about the book or the movies, you’ll recognise the scene which inspired Tony here. If you don’t know a thing about Catherine and Heathcliff don’t worry, it’s still a wonderfully random piece of silliness.

The sheer daftness of this made it an instant fan favourite, with many OiNK readers remembering it decades later, either from this issue or when it was reprinted in the Winter Special a few years later. Chas Sinclair brings a perfect spoof style to Wuthering Heights’ famous scenes. So when it ends with something completely unrelated and out of left field like this, it’s just perfect, brilliant nonsense.

We’ve reached the back page of another issue and I’m very happy to see another full-page, wordless Ian Jackson strip just like we had in #14. Put these side-by-side with my favourite page from all of OiNK’s run in #4, and just imagine if every issue had finished with a full colour masterpiece from Ian such as these. This particular entry, Stupid Cupids is actually made up of two individual three-panel strips, each read vertically down the page and written by Mark Rodgers and Tony Husband. As always, take your time with Ian’s artwork and savour each panel as you make your way along, because each one is a complete joy.

That’s almost it for this romantic issue of our piggy pink publication but the magic continues in two weeks, quite literally. The 22nd edition is the Magic and Fantasy Special and contains the first appearance of a certain bespectacled hero in a new mini-series. A real favourite of mine and many others, it’s not to be missed. You can check out what it is from Monday 21st February 2022.

But before you go I just have to let all you lovely blog readers know how I really feel, to thank you for your continued support. Take it away, Marc Riley‘s Doctor Mooney, He’s Completely Looney.

iSSUE 20 < > iSSUE 22

OiNK Comic Promos

COMiNG UP: OiNK! #20

24 January 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Tomorrow on the blog the next OiNK review explodes on to your screens with #20, the War Special! War? As a subject for a children’s humour comic? Yup, and every single strip (bar one) takes the theme and runs with it! From a brilliant front cover by Wilkie and his strip about forgotten war pigs, to a hilarious spoof of wartime movies by Davey Jones and Jeremy Banx‘s Mr Big Nose to sing us out, it’s not to be missed.

Not that you could miss it of course. It’s not like it’s only going to be on the blog for a day. It’ll be there forever for you read. But I’ve digressed ever so slightly. There’s also the start of a brand new multi-issue comedy adventure strip called King Solomon’s Swines which is bound to bring back many happy memories both for readers of OiNK in the 80s and for fans of 80s adventure movies.

Be here tomorrow, Monday 24th January 2022.

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COMiNG UP CHRiSTMAS MONDAY: OiNK! #18

23 December 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

As a child I thought the theme of the next issue of OiNK was another pig-related pun, what with it being the HOGmanay special. I’d never heard of the word before and was initially a little disappointed to find out it wasn’t a pun at all. But then I realised with a name like that this Scottish celebration was the perfect way for Uncle Pigg and all of the crazy characters to see in the New Year. At the end of the Christmas issue we all got a special invite. All except one.

I remember receiving the issue a few days before Christmas but I didn’t read it until a day or two before New Year’s Eve. To do otherwise just felt wrong. Plus I was still enjoying the festive issue over and over again. I didn’t want to wish away Christmas so the comic was filed away until the right time. For the blog I don’t know the exact day it came out early so I’ll be reviewing it on the date on the cover instead, Monday 27th December. Surely something to look forward to reading between the food-induced comas.

GO TO iSSUE 18

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OiNK! #17: HO(G), HO(G), HO(G)!

13 December 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

It’s great to finally be reading the issues I enjoyed so much as a kid and this is one I’ve really been really looking forward to, what with me being such a fan of the season. As a child I remember the TV Times magazine being a staple part of my television viewing, even though it only had ITV and Channel Four inside it, and the Christmas issue was a bit of an event when it arrived. Today the only time I’ll buy a TV listings magazine is Christmas, there’s something wonderfully nostalgic about it nowadays. Back in 1986 OiNK‘s TV Tips sat proudly alongside the family’s TV Times in the magazine rack for the whole of the school holiday. I insisted upon it.

What a present the free gift turned out to be too. The third and final section of the calendar for 1987 came with this issue and when linked to the separate parts from #15 and #16 it dominated my bedroom for the whole of the next year. It was subject to many pen marks when crossing off dates and highlighting birthdays, but it was treasured. Below are photos of the final part and the finished calendar I’ve been able to acquire again, proudly taking centre stage on the wall of my office, impatiently waiting for a year the dates will match up.

The issue is packed with Christmassy strips, spoof toy adverts, cards and decorations to make, Christmas stories and more. I know it’s only going to get harder from here on to pick out a few highlights, this issue is proof of that but after long deliberations here’s the selection box of piggy perfection. To set the mood for the festive frivolities is Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental drawn as ever by Ian Knox.

I think that sets things up for us rightly.

So a comic with a comical take on TV listings magazines on the cover just has to follow that up on the inside and we weren’t to be disappointed. Blog readers who were alive in the 80s will find this next page particularly funny with references to a lot of the shows we’d have enjoyed ourselves back then, as well as those during which we’d have retreated to our bedrooms to play with our toys but which were favourites of our parents.

So what was on offer for us on TV? Some aspects really weren’t that much different than today. Cartoon movies, The Snowman, as well as the inhabitants of Albert Square refusing to have a merry one even back then. We may have had a festive special of Knight Rider instead of Doctor Who but the clichés about the television schedules at this time of the year aren’t a new thing, as OiNK proves here.

To be fair I’m actually a fan of Christmas telly and I think no matter the amount of cracker (no pun intended) specials and film premieres are broadcast people will carry on with the same old complaints. Interestingly, that Roger Moore James Bond illustration by Tim Thackeray was drawn for the first OiNK annual, which wouldn’t be released until the next year! (You can just about make out the OiNK logo above Roger’s head.) Just goes to show how far in advance those books were created.

Let’s not forget about the true meaning of Christmas. I’m not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination but I’m a big kid for this time of year. To me, it’s all about those nearest and dearest to me and thanking them for being in my life for another year. It’s about presents of course but I get just as much of a thrill out of giving to those I love as I do in receiving from them. It’s a time to be grateful, to be happy, to feel loved and to share that love.

In other words, the true meaning of Christmas is ripe for OiNK to tear to shreds.

Written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by Davy Francis, Blue Xmas takes the foundations of any good Christmas story and builds upon them with plenty of laughs along the way, before it’s all flipped on its head in the final panels. A poor boy who won’t be receiving any gifts for Christmas tries to raise some money so he can buy his mum a present and through it all he finds that the joy of giving is better than receiving, only for him to be punished for his goodwill!

You can also get a real sense of the amount of work Davy (Francis) put in

From memory I could’ve sworn this was in one of the annuals but here it is in the regular comic. A good few years back now I had the pleasure of meeting Davy for a chat and had the chance of purchasing some of his original OiNK artwork. One of the pieces was the first page of Blue Xmas which is now up on my wall. I thought I’d show you a few highlights of this strip now.

In the comic the strip featured two-tone colour, all the faces being quite aptly blue, but on the original drawing you can see it was black and white. You can also get a real sense of the amount of work Davy put in; in the title box you can actually see the pressure put on the page by Davy’s colouring-in of this solid black first panel. Those groups of lines he always used for backgrounds look even more time consuming in full-scale (this is about twice the size of the pages of the comic) and you can also see some of the correction fluid used to change a speech balloon to one with frosty icicles.

A quick look at some of the other highlights of the issue now, starting with Harry the Head‘s big adventure taking him into space, The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile sees the school pantomime descend into chaos and this particular panel had me laughing aloud, and the Christmas Quiz has a real head scratcher for you. Then in Ham Dare, Pig of the Future there’s more parodying of the all-British adventure comics of the day and that image of Ham looks so much like Dan Dare I think artist J.T. Dogg could easily have taken over the strip in Eagle!

**Harry the Head** by *Marc Riley*
**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Christmas Cracker Corner** by *Ed McHenry*
**Ham Dare** written by *Lew Stringer*, drawn by *J.T. Dogg*

I admit that well into my adult life I’d always assumed Mrs. Claus’ name was Mary! I know this was mentioned in a Charlie Brown Christmas Special (thanks to Wikipedia) but I wonder if OiNK was where I originally got that idea. Anyway, moving on.

The commercial breaks during those Christmas programmes are usually filled with Boxing Day and New Year sales adverts for all those people not happy with what their loved ones gave them. Getting in on this racket is none other than OiNK’s in-house catalogue company, GBH with their very own Christmas Catalogue for the following Christmas! This is definitely the best so far, complete with photographs of children enjoying (well, in theory) the dodgy toys and a background image by Mike Taylor complete with a very unhappy snowman and a very smug fox.

This particular madvertisement was written by both Mark Rodgers and Patrick Gallagher and this is Mike’s first contribution to OiNK. A renowned ‘zine illustrator, Mike would go on to provide more lovingly crafted work for 13 issues altogether, being most prolific during the comic’s weekly phase.

Patrick directed the photo session which must’ve been hilarious to be a part of. His brother James was the actual photographer and the Barbie toys belonged to his sister Bernie. The two children featured are Patrick’s cousins, Erin Claffey and her brother Patrick, the rest of the toys belonging to them. On a side note I remember having that Castle Greyskull toy myself and many years later being told by my parents they had to make the trip all the way from Belfast to Dublin in order to get it that particular Christmas!

*James Gallagher*, *Patrick Claffey*, *Erin Claffey*

A few issues previous to this Lew Stringer introduced us to Tom Thug‘s mum. When it was announced she’d be appearing both Tom and his father were terrified. Who on Earth could do that to the two biggest wannabe bullies in OiNKtown? What kind of bully was the mum, to make these men shake in their bovver boots? As it turns out Mrs Thug was the kindest, sweetest and most affectionate woman you could imagine and that’s what put the fear of god into them. It was a funny twist and here she’s putting Tom to sleep on Christmas Eve, the morning after which she’d end up very happy with what can only be described as a Christmas miracle.

One thing I always like about Christmassy comics is seeing favourite characters within that setting. We all have our own Christmas traditions for the big day itself and sometimes it feels like we’re getting an insight into the cartoonists’ traditions, maybe from their own childhood, or at the very least maybe what they think our traditions were. These were always extra special strips and one cartoonist who never disappoints with a snowy logo is Lew.

A little extra note, according to Lew he originally had Tom actually shoot Santa but Mark Rodgers said it should be a dream so as not to upset kids. Lew says, “Mark was 100% right and it worked out far better”.

While it only ever snowed once for December 25th when I was a child we expected all of our strips to be covered in the white stuff and Lew always seemed to go that extra mile in this regard. Whether it was Tom and Pete in OiNK, or Combat Colin and Robo Capers in Transformers, you could be assured of a white Christmas in the pages of your comics. Nice to see Satan the Cat back in his own little mini-strip too and to have it all finished off with crackers and holly, and that little man at the top keeping the pages clear is a funny little touch.

“I normally manage to cadge a free, slap-up meal at Christmas time!”
Mr. Big Nose

This issue is really making my Christmas all over again 35 years after it did the first time, and now it’s time the main event, a wonderful multi-page Uncle Pigg strip, one of only two times this would happen in the whole of OiNK’s run. Written by Mark Rodgers and of course drawn by Ian Jackson this four-page story is spread throughout the comic, even appearing as a subplot in Rubbish Man.

The plot has our editor declaring he’ll take his staff out for a Christmas treat, but the free gifts and competition prizes have drained the piggy bank. But as luck would have it, at that exact moment a flyer pops up offering a £10,000 reward from Santa Claus if anyone can find Rudolph who has gone missing. Donning his best Sherlock Holmes-esque getup Uncle Pigg leads his team into the snow and immediately stumbles upon a clue. But not all is as it seems.

I can remember reading this back then and loving every panel of it, wondering why we didn’t get at least a full-page like this every issue. I don’t know how many times I read it, but it was so witty and the art so funny it was definitely more than a few. I even remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve reading it yet again (even though the next issue had already arrived by that point, see the bottom of this review for more on that) just before going to sleep, or at least trying to fall asleep with the excitement of the night, which this only added to.

As the story continues there’s one madcap mishap after another, such as above when Percy Plop makes a welcome guest appearance. Yes, the script is funny but Ian’s style heightens every piece of slapstick such as the policeman skidding on Percy, forcing Uncle Pigg’s assistant deep into the snow. In the end our heroes follow the trail right back to the OiNK offices which Mary Lighthouse (critic) and none other than Santa Claus himself have commandeered. Why is Santa working with Mary? Read on.

In hindsight it’s a bit strange to have Santa team up with Mary, but when you think about it he isn’t meant to bring toys to the naughty children, is he? Children who like rude jokes, bare bums on their comic covers, puns about plops and stuff like that. But in the end Uncle Pigg and the OiNK crew won through and showed him we were all just as deserving. The present he refers to is Patrick Gallagher‘s cut-out mobile on the back cover “for people who hate Xmas”, which is a very strange thing to put in a children’s comic. It’s more revenge on Santa for the story, but still, I remember thinking even at the time it was a little weird. Surely no one in OiNK’s target audience would hate it!

So that’s us at the end of a superb issue, a very special Christmas treat and a great stocking filler in itself if you can throw a hint at any loved one to search for it on eBay in time. With everything wrapped up (again, no pun intended) in time for the holidays there’s just time to squeeze in Jeremy Banx‘s Mr. Big Nose, another highlight of this issue that has stayed in my memory for decades and it’s a joy to see it again.

The next issue of OiNK had an on-sale date of 27th December but as per usual with Christmas comics and magazines it was released earlier than normal, what with the comics publishers shutting for the holidays, distributors working limited hours and back then our shops actually shut for days at a time to give the staff time off too. So our New Year’s editions would always arrive before Christmas, but I’ve no way of knowing exactly when so I’m just going to stick to the on-sale date.

That means the Hogmanay (appropriately enough) issue of OiNK will be reviewed right here on Monday 27th December 2021. I hope to see you then.

iSSUE 16 < > iSSUE 18

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CHRiSTMAS 2021

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COMiNG UP: OiNK! #17

12 December 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

It’s the most wonderful time of the year and time for the most wonderful free gift in the history of comics (not that I’d hype it up and I might be biased) to finally be completed in time for the end of 1986. Part three of Ian Jackson‘s glorious Mount Rushboar calendar poster was coming in the next issue of OiNK and you’ll be able to see it and the finished product in all its glory in the full review of #17 tomorrow.

But even better than that is the fact it’s the first Christmas Special! I should just get this off my chest now, I absolutely adore Christmas and this next issue of OiNK was my first experience of a festive comic. From the snowy logo on the cover photograph of the Queen making a Christmas dinner out of her corgis, to the spoof TV listings inside making fun of the seasonal telly and a multi-page Uncle Pigg story, it was a hoot from start to finish!

Promo written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*

Now, finally, I’m getting to read this issue all over again and I can’t wait! The full review will be here at some point tomorrow, Monday 13th December 2021 so come back then for cheer and goodwill to all* in a review which I’m particularly excited to write.

(* except Mary Lighthouse, butchers and, surprisingly, Santa Claus it would seem! Find out why in the review.)

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CHRiSTMAS 2021

OiNK! #16: POP PiGGiES

29 November 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

A superstar takes pride of place on the cover of the pop music special of OiNK… sitting alongside a hammed up J.T. Dogg parody of George Michael. That’s right, this issue pig pals got to meet Frank Sidebottom! We’ll get to the famous papier-mâché headed contributor later on but first up we’ve got the second part of our giant calendar poster drawn by the incredibly talented and at the time very young Ian Jackson.

Burp and Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins make up this segment with more and more random people running across their faces. Where could they be going and why? We’ll find out next time. Quite suitably, since my decorations have gone up a little bit earlier this year, there’s Santa in the midst of the parodies of celebrities, aliens, monsters, religious leaders and basically anyone Ian could think of by the looks of it.

I can remember this issue of the comic itself being met with rather mixed feelings when I had my first quick glimpse through it as a kid. I wasn’t really into music at the time so the theme didn’t seem to appeal. I also didn’t initially like the fact there were quite a few text features spoofing teenage music magazines of the day. But I soon realised I shouldn’t have doubted the team.

As a kid I’d heard of John Peel through appearances on Top of the Pops which my older siblings watched every week, or through the radio when I heard it coming from their rooms. While I wasn’t a radio listener at that young age I still found his A Day in the Life of a DJ quite funny. I’m including it here because co-editor Patrick Gallagher was able to confirm it really was written by John.

One rather unique addition to the line up this time is a competition to “Win a pop concert in your own home“. No, this isn’t a spoof (or GBH threatening to come round if you don’t pay up) this is an honest-to-gosh competition with the prize being a pop group performing in your house. The band in question were Le Lu Lus (or ‘Lelu Lu’s’, their name seems to have several spellings) who were all about “robots, computers, dance and song” apparently.

You can check out one of their songs, ‘Africa’ on YouTube and they’re not half bad. Since growing up I’ve become somewhat obsessed with 80s music so this is right up my street. It would seem one lucky reader was in for a treat.

According to Tony Husband, “They contacted us as fans l think. We chose a home fairly convenient to us all l think, so we didn’t have to pay a lot for travel. Anyone from Aberdeen or Southampton never stood a chance. We chose a family from Prestwich.” So even if I had been enjoying their music at the time there wasn’t a hope in hell of me winning, what with that pesky Irish Sea between the OiNK offices and me.

“I love burp, he’s so smelly and disgusting and Mr Big Nose ’cause he’s so daft.”
Ian Astbury, The Cult

She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult is a song most of us will remember from the 80s and in a surprising turn of events lead vocalist Ian Astbury is interviewed in this issue of OiNK by piggy pop presenter Janice Pong (Tony again). It’s really quite the scoop for a kid’s comic and as it turns out Ian and his bandmates were fans. This wasn’t unusual in the Manchester (or MADchester) scene of the day, with numerous bands buying the comic on a regular basis. OiNK’s offices in the city were just upstairs from the office of the Happy Mondays‘ manager, Haçienda DJ Dave Haslam was next door and former The Fall band member Marc Riley was already working on the comic drawing Harry the Head and being Snatcher Sam.

The interview with Ian happened over the phone after Tony got in touch through his agent. For Tony it was quite the thrill, as he was a fan of the group and their lead singer was a fan of his work! Ian was game for a laugh in being interviewed by the fictional Janice (a spoof of radio DJ Janice Long) and Tony told me he has nothing but fond memories of the experience.

While he can’t quite remember how he found out Ian was a pig pal, Tony says he’ll never forget what happened after the interview was over. At the end of the call Ian, this huge rock star, told Tony he’d ordered two OiNK mugs and two t-shirts but had only received one of each and asked if he could look into it! It was a surreal moment for Tony and sure enough he got it sorted for him.

So let’s move away from the more magazine-style pages of this unique issue and have a look at some of the other highlights, such as an uncanny celebrity lookalike, a perfectly named talent agent and a quick homage to From Russia With Love. Then Lew Stringer brought us some cutout badges of 80s pop stars, the Huey Lewis and the News one being my fave, and then gave us a little history lesson into the origins of rock’n’roll (and check out the Phil Collins drawing underneath).

**Grunts** complied by *Patrick Gallagher*
**Burp** by *Jeremy* *Banx*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Pop Badges** concept by Mark Rodgers, drawn by *Lew Stringer*
**Janice Pong’s Almost Believable Facts** by *Lew Stringer*

Remember the cutout Road-Hogg from #11? It was meant to be impossible to actually build but pig pal Sue M. Hall did anyway and the end result was great. In this issue a rather more straightforward bit of DIY comes in the shape of cassette covers for readers’ music collections. In the 90s I was handed down a lot of my siblings’ music cassettes, so while my school friends were rocking out to the latest charts my ears were buried in the older Now That’s What I Call Music collections from the 80s. This could explain why I’m still obsessed with music from that decade today.

I remember making up my own compilations from the cassettes I owned, sometimes even making ‘soundtrack’ albums for my comics, filled with the songs I thought best suited certain storylines and I’d create my own covers for them. In this issue Uncle Pigg (and Ed McHenry) gave us some cutout covers, all suitably OiNK-ified of course. Fellow fan Steve Fitch (who kindly supplied photos of an OiNK promotional folder for a previous post) not only cut out the covers and placed them into cassette boxes, he went a step further and created little stickers for the tapes to match.

Now on to our main event. A musician, a stand up comedian, a TV personality, an all-round entertainer extraordinaire, Chris Sievey donned a papier-mâché head, put on a squeaky, nasally voice and truly became Frank Sidebottom. My parents weren’t fans I seem to recall, but I most certainly was, especially his appearances on Saturday morning show No.73. To have him popping up in OiNK was a wonderful surprise and he suited the music theme. The fact he wasn’t a one-off and would come back in the next issue (and the next, and the next etc.) was even better.

Back in 2021 the sad news broke of Chris’ passing and, upon finding out, all those lovely memories of his strips in OiNK came flooding back. I dug out the three editions I still owned and read them for the first time in decades. I bought a few more, discovered they were just as funny as they’d ever been and I set about collecting them. Chris had led me right back to OiNK, so it’s because of him that I’m even here talking about the comic at all.

Below are a couple of photos co-editor Patrick Gallagher kindly sent me. On the left is Frank’s Oh Blimey Big Band featuring Patrick in the stripped top on guitar and Mark Radcliffe on drums. On the right is Chris Sievey and the Freshies.

I asked Patrick about how Frank joining OiNK came about.

“I dragged Chris on board at OiNK, having been a fan of Frank and also of Chris Sievey and the Freshies – the Manchester pop band,” he says. “Frank fitted brilliantly into the comic and was a regular face in the OiNK office as well as in its pages. We gave Chris quite an open brief, which was pretty much determined by the themes of the issues. Shortly after joining OiNK, Chris invited me to play guitar in Frank’s Oh Blimey Big Band, alongside Mark Radcliffe on drums (pre-Marc and Lard days on BBC Radio One with fellow OiNK star Marc Riley).”

It’s great to see Frank on board at last, it’s like being reunited with an old friend

“Frank was a great ambassador for OiNK and promoted the comic at gigs etc.”, Patrick continues. “So we were more than happy to keep him with us as long as he was happy to continue working for us! I became great friends with Chris and when both our marriages ended 10 years later, Chris lived at my house for 6 months where we drowned our sorrows and lived the high-life in equal measure.”

So here we go, Frank’s very first OiNK page. I think as a kid I might have assumed one of the comic’s artists drew the pages for him, or at least had a hand in them. But as they progressed it was clear this was all his own work. Tony and Patrick have both told me in the past how long Chris would spend over his pages. Remember, he wasn’t a professional cartoonist, yet here he was creating colourful works of art and comic strips for every issue of a hit comic. Everything was coloured with felt tip pens and apparently he would anguish over the details. I’m sure you’ll agree the end results were, as Frank himself would say, fantastic.

Since Chris’ passing a statue of Frank has been erected in his home town of Timperley and we’ve had not one but two movies based around him. One is the feature-length documentary Being Frank and the other starred Michael Fassbender as a Frank-like celebrity forever encased in his own papier-mâché head. Both of these will be covered on the blog in the future. For now, it’s great to see Frank on board at last, it’s like being reunited with an old friend.

It’s time to wrap up this musical feast and who better to do so than Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental. OiNK writer Graham Exton told me if the writing on one of Roger’s strips is uncredited then most likely it was co-editor Mark Rodgers who scripted it. He wrote so much of OiNK that apparently he’d often forget to credit himself! This particular instalment made me roar and it’s brought to life as ever by Ian Knox. Enjoy.

So that’s us. The fact that Roger’s is the only strip I’ve shown in full just shows how different this issue actually is. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of hilarious strips in here, I just wanted to show you the different kinds of content this issue had and how enjoyable it was as a result. With lots of new characters introduced last time and now with Frank in the fray at last I’m really pumped for the next issue, especially since it’s the first Christmas Special!

From the TV Times cover to the Christmas TV listings and a multi-page Uncle Pigg story, I have very fond memories of #17. So make sure you’re back here on Monday 13th December for the review!

iSSUE 15 < > iSSUE 17

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OiNK! #13: FRiGHTFULLY FUNNY

18 October 2021 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

A brilliant headline pun welcomes us to the Hallowe’en issue of OiNK and what a great piece of coincidental timing, having the thirteenth issue out for the spooky season. At a time when most other humour comics had a strip on the front OiNK’s bold, colourful covers really stood out and I think you’ll agree that’s certainly the case here with Ben Turner‘s one and only contribution to the comic and co-editor Patrick Gallagher‘s shivering version of his classic logo.

Ben is a seriously talented artist who at the time worked for Cosgrove Hall Productions (Danger Mouse, Count Duckula) alongside other OiNK artists Andy Roper and John Geering. He was also involved in producing and directing and from 1997 to 2006 was Creative Director at Cosgrove Hall Films where one of his projects was The BFG. Now working independently as a freelance director and designer in animation he was Art Director on CBBC’s Chuggington, a show which Patrick actually wrote some episodes for.

What do you think happens when Roger Rental meets the Slithering Horror?

In addition to all the themed laughs inside there are two event strips, both of which involve Lew Stringer. The first is a character crossover between Lew’s Tom Thug and Mike Green‘s Weedy Willy, who was created by Graham Exton and written either by him or co-editor Mark Rodgers. It kicks off with their individual strips. Tom was drawn by a 27-and-three-quarters-years-old Lew (according to his signature) and also includes future star Pete and his Pimple‘s sister Zeta.

Embarrassed in front of a girl by his own ineptness he’s jokingly compared to Willy and, Tom being the dim-witted bully he is, naturally decides to go and beat up Willy as revenge for this slight. At the same time Willy is yet again falling foul of his own attempts to woo Dishy Mandy who compares his intelligence to Tom’s. Everything is now set for a Clash of the Titans! We even get to see Tom angrily cutting across a field to get to his nemesis in Davy Francis‘ Cowpat County.

The idea for the strip was suggested by Graham as a battle “between the two cowards, Tom and Willy.” Mark then scripted and in the days before the internet the artwork was shared via post. Lew pencilled and inked his bits first, loosely indicating in pencil where Weedy Willy should be. According to Lew, Mike was free to change these of course and it was all achieved quite easily in the end, as he doesn’t recall any back and forth being necessary.

I love how in the end these two complete opposites are more alike than they’ll ever realise. Everything they say out loud is said by the other at exactly the same time. Lew’s and Mike’s different styles come together flawlessly so it’s unfortunate it’d be the only time something like this would be created for the comic. There would be crossovers between Lew’s characters and different artists would draw one another’s for guest appearances, but this is a truly unique strip and one of the classics of the whole run.

Moving on to the Hallowe’en hilarity and one of our favourite characters finds himself up against an unspeakable terror. So what do you think happens when Ian Knox‘s Roger Rental Meets the Slithering Horror?

Of course.

The next two strips are perfect examples of the little one-offs which made up so much of our fortnightly dose of OiNK, the first of which is also the debut of Davey Jones to its pages (and his first published comics work). Davey is best known for his work on Viz, which he would freelancing for before joining their staff in 1990. Some of his most famous creations are The Real Ale Twats, Gilbert Ratchet and Major Misunderstanding.

Here he puts a new spin on an old dog trick in Henry the Wonder Dog. Davey would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether but as for Henry he’d only reappear once in #29. Strangely, so would the joke in a different strip later in the run.

The second mini-strip here is another by Lew Stringer. Doctor Jeckyll’s Experiment could’ve been told over half as many panels, but with the extra space here Lew’s expert comedic timing really pays off with some hilarious facial expressions, especially from the newly furry Jeckyll.

Do you remember the Care Bears, the saccharin Sunday morning cartoon with garishly coloured teddy bears? Based on the toys of the same name they were everywhere in the 1980s and even had their own comic from Marvel UK. But this is OiNK, so take that name and think of an appropriately ghoulish (and piggy) take on sweet and cuddly soft toys and what do you come up with? The Scare Boars of course. I noticed there’s a little copyright line from IPC Magazines below this Madvertisement, so jokingly thought the publisher had considered they’d make for good merchandise.

As it turns out this wasn’t so far-fetched after all. Patrick tells me, “I think IPC recognised that the characters (mocked up to a finished standard) could be highly marketable and might draw the attention of potential investors, and therefore deemed it necessary to state ownership (which, incidentally, they’d already stated in the full imprint earlier on). Though, whether they own as much as they claim is another matter!” (The ‘imprint’ is the copyright notice printed in each issue.)

Who wouldn’t have wanted to own one of these? Which one would you have picked? For me it would have been Hampire Boar but it appears he and Skele Boar could be out there terrorising unsuspecting kids if a video posted by Patrick on the his YouTube channel is anything to go by. Check this out.

I know from social media that this particular Madvertisement is a favourite among many, so to see one of its creators with Hunchback Boar like this is brilliant! So funny. If you’re not already a member of the OiNK Facebook group you should really join because it’s a great place for pig pals to chat and OiNK’s contributors (in particular Patrick) are always sharing bits and pieces about the creation of our favourite comic. Unmissable.

At this point I’d normally select a few memorable panels from various strips to give you an inkling of the rest of the issue’s contents. Instead, this time I wanted to show off two little panels from the Golden Trough Awards which were now being drawn by co-editor Tony Husband. A Hallowe’en special wouldn’t be complete without a Dracula story and here the terrified villagers have hatched a plan to rid themselves of the Count once and for all, and it involves headphones.

This wouldn’t be the last time Steve Wright would be the butt of a joke in OiNK. In fact, just to show how he could laugh at himself and take it all in good jest he would appear in a later issue and collect an award for Worst DJ as voted for by the readers!

“It all started six months later back in London when the mummy tried to sell them double-glazing every night for a month…”
The Curse of the Mummy (Jeremy Banx)

Over the past few issues Jeremy Banx contributed some genuinely laugh-out-loud moments with some very surreal one-off strips, the kind he does so well. If you’ve missed Mrs. Warsaw-Pact or Ian Nasalcavity Visits his Grandparents you can check them out in the reviews for #10 and #11 respectively before we move on to the last of this little series of random extra strips.

In The Curse of the Mummy we’re introduced to more impossibly-named individuals, Barty Pimple-Squeak and Mervin Vermin-St. John-Platt who are searching the tomb of an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. Not to be outdone, the former ruler is none other that King Sir Alf Rameses III and all of that is just in the opening caption! Just remember this is a Banx strip, so clearly whatever curse is unleashed upon the archaeologists is like nothing you could predict.

Being fascinated with Ancient Egypt myself this was a very welcome surprise. In fact, maybe due to my interest in the subject matter and how this perfectly spoofs it (or maybe just because Jeremy is a genius) this had me laughing even more than the previous two I mentioned above. Every single panel has a brilliant gag so good any one of them could be used as a punchline to end lesser strips! This is right up there with Jaws ’86 for me.

“Through the interaction of vile jellies and mushy peas, the dumped dinners came to life!”
Lew Stringer (Monster Mash)

The final highlight is the other event strip and it’s the introduction to a much-loved character who may only appear in a handful of editions, but who left a big impression. A very BIG impression. This was the issue before I originally started buying OiNK as a kid and it’s such a shame because as a child I loved watching those old rubber-suited Godzilla monster movies late at night on Channel Four, so this would’ve been right up my alley. It’s time to welcome Pigswilla.

Co-editor Mark Rodgers had the idea for a strip where a massive collection of discarded school dinners came to life. He wrote the first script and then handed it off to Lew Stringer to develop further before drawing it. Originally called “The School Dinner Monster” Lew changed this to Monster Mash and created ‘Pigzilla’ to combat the sludge. In their collaborative effort Mark changed this to ‘Pigswilla’ which is of course brilliant. Only appearing in seven editions of the comic (including two of the annuals) made every one of his stories an extra special treat.

Lew wrote about the creation of Pigswilla and this particular strip on his Lew Stringer Comics blog back in 2016 to mark its 30th anniversary, where he mentions working with Mark and how the paper used to print OiNK made for some lovely artistic choices.

Lew writes: “As OiNK was printed on quality paper (as opposed to the newsprint of its companion comics Buster, Whizzer and Chips etc.) I knew we could be a bit more adventurous with the rendering of the artwork so I thought a grey wash would give it more depth. I was really pleased with how the strip turned out and it remains one of my favourite pieces 30 years later.” Head on over to Lew’s blog for more.

I hope you all have a horrific Hallowe’en in the best possible way. What a great way to mark the season this issue has been. No wonder it’s Lew’s favourite issue from the first calendar year of OiNK and one of Patrick’s favourites from the whole run.

At the time of writing this post it’s a busy time on the blog with more real time read throughs beginning and bringing the current running total to six at once! The review of the first issue of the latest series will actually be up on 31st October, Hallowe’en itself, which is just perfect for that comic as you’ll see. Then just one day later the 14th issue of OiNK, the first I ever owned(!) will be reviewed on Monday 1st November 2021 or as I like to call it, the beginning of Christmas Eve Month.

iSSUE 12 < > iSSUE 14

OiNK! #12: MOViE MAGiC & MiRTH

4 October 2021 Phil Boyce 4 Comments

We’re already a dozen issues (and a preview) in to the real time read through of the funniest comic ever produced. Where has the time gone? I suppose it just goes to prove it does fly when you’re laughing at one ridiculous gag after another. This issue we’re off to the movies in proper OiNK fashion, which is quite apt seeing as how I had my first trip to the cinema in about two years this weekend thanks to the pandemic.

One of the biggest events in 80s cinema was Steven Spielberg‘s E.T. The Extra Terrestrial and I remember having to wait a while for the home video release to see it, which was delayed by five years! So this OiNK parody was created before we even got to see it at home. Featuring Nick Bell again as Swindler Sid, this would be his last appearance in the comic but he got quite the send off in the double-page spread spectacular that is E.T. (Extremely Thick).

I contacted co-editor Patrick Gallagher to ask about the making of this particular photo story and the people involved. From what Patrick can remember the costume was hired from a local fancy dress shop in Manchester called The Stage Door, run by 70s comedian Jackie Carlton. The “lucky youngster” who found themselves inside it was James O’Malley who starred in human form as Jelly-Belly Johnson in #10, Professor Potts was actually Patrick’s younger sister, Bernie Gallagher (below left), their family dog Dandy played Jimbo the Jabbering Jack Russell and friend Richard Cobey (below right) played the “ugly little squirt”, to quote E.T.!

Swindler Sid may be gone now but we’ve still got Marc Riley as Snatcher Sam who would continue to pop up in various photo strips and GBH Madvertisements during the fortnightly portion of OiNK’s run, so you won’t be short of mischievous, yet somehow loveable thievery as the read through continues.

Billy’s Boots may have been a strip in a sister title to OiNK but that didn’t mean it wasn’t ripe for sending up

Billy’s Boots was a classic adventure serial strip which appeared in Scorcher comic in 1970, moving to Tiger in 1974 when the comics merged, then Eagle in 1985 and in the year OiNK appeared he transferred to the pages of Roy of the Rovers. He definitely had staying power. It starred Billy Dane who inherited an old pair of football boots which once belonged to ‘Dead-Shot’ Kean and somehow enabled Billy to play in the style of the soccer superstar.

It may have been a strip in a sister title to OiNK, also published by IPC Magazines, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t ripe for sending up.

Apart from the character names, the captions in the first two panels are nearly word-for-word how the original strip was introduced in the pages of Roy’s weekly. This just makes what comes after even funnier of course. Just like in that strip, there’s no reason given as to how the boots have these powers. I doubt they laughed at Billy Dane’s expense either! A brilliant spoof that just gets more and more ludicrous as it goes along and it wouldn’t be the last time OiNK would take aim at its stablemates, it does so again in this very issue.

Bobby’s Boots was drawn by Chas Sinclair, a prolific OiNK cartoonist who’d contribute to 37 issues altogether. Before he was hired by Uncle Pigg his work included Basil Brush for TV Comic and Crazy Horse in Plug, the Bash Street Kids spin-off. I was delighted to find out he’s still drawing and regularly updates his Instagram account with doodles, illustrations and full strips. It was written by Lew Stringer and according to Lew it was one of the first scripts he’d written for someone else to draw, and he was thrilled Chas was selected because he’d read those Basil Brush strips himself as a child and been a fan. (Watch out for a sensational Lew script drawn by the equally sensational J.T. Dogg starting in #15.)

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Grunts** compiled by *Patrick Gallagher*
**Hot News** drawn by *Steve Gibson*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

Some other highlights from this issue include The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile – Aged 7 5/8 (yearƨ) in which we find out Hadrian had a sister, even though she’d only be born in the comic some time next year. Maybe this one had enough of her little brat of a brother and scarpered. On the Grunts letters page we did actually get a winner to the afterthought of a competition written below #7‘s postcards, my favourite movie featured in Hot News From Hollywood and in Tom Thug a little sign signals a tiny one-off strip from #6 is returning as a serial. Excited yet?

Back at the beginning of the comic, David Haldane‘s Billy’s Brain strip saw a kid inherit his genius Uncle Vincent’s brain which could think for itself and move of its own accord. Every issue a pair on inept thieves would try to steal the brain from Billy but in the last handful of issues this concept has been changed somewhat. Dropping the thieves completely the strip now focused almost entirely on Vincent’s brain going off on solo adventures, and it’s a lot more enjoyable as a result.

I can remember Billy’s Brain from childhood so I was surprised to find out my first issue back then (#14) would be his last regular appearance. He’d pop up in a special, an annual and two issues further down the line though. I was sure he was a regular when I read the comic back in the 80s but with so many strips coming and going from OiNK, perhaps the fact I did see him a few times tricked my own brain when thinking back.

I do love an 80s movie, especially if it contains a good soundtrack, but I don’t think Mary Lighthouse (critic) was as appreciative at the time. Up next is her top ten movie list, although these are films she insists you do not see. Given her appearances so far you’d expect her to hate anything with a smidgen of violence, but wait until you read her reasons for wanting to ban E.T., Cinderella and even The Sound of Music.

Her comments about Cinderella in particular had me roaring! In a later interview with editors Patrick Gallagher, Tony Husband and Mark Rodgers in computer magazine Crash we’d find out the real Mary Whitehouse’s people were constantly checking the pages of OiNK for libel, though I know of no point when they actually complained about this character. The thing is, to check for libel they had to buy the comic!

Ed McHenry was the go-to guy for OiNK’s little puzzle sections and in this issue he brings us Barry Norham’s Movie Quiz. It contains the usual seemingly easy questions with silly, bizarre answers (upside-down at the bottom of the page). For example, “In which film does The Invisible Man appear?” Easy, right? The answer is, “He never appears, he’s invisible.” See what I mean?

With that in mind, do you think you can complete the answer to this brain teaser? Who is this?

The answer is at the bottom of the review.

Moving on now to our final highlight for this issue. OiNK was my first comic and before I started discovering adventure titles and the like I would sometimes pick up other humour comics to try them out. This would normally be when I had to go somewhere with my parents on the train and I can remember a few journeys with a copy of Whizzer and Chips. It felt a little different to the others, none of which really made me laugh, probably due to my being used to OiNK’s humour!

“Take that, you stereotype Whizzer-and-Chips bully!”

Tom in Tom’s Toe

While it was still more of a traditional comic, Whizzer and Chips felt like two in one (Whizzer for the outer 16 pages, Chips for the inner 16) and while it wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny it certainly raised a smile. OiNK was anything but traditional and would often poke fun at more established comics, labelling them as boring and predictable. I remember The Dandy and Beano being particular favourite targets, though in reality Mark Rodgers was a huge fan of both. You see, there’s a difference between parody, which is what these were, and satire. I’ll go into that in more depth in a later review.

Here, co-editor and writer of this strip Tony Husband teams up with legendary cartoonist John Geering to poke fun directly at the aforementioned comic. Even the strapline is hilariously generic!

John should surely need no introduction, having created Bananaman and worked on many traditional DC Thomson comics such as the two mentioned above, alongside some of IPC’s own titles like Cheeky Weekly and Knockout. I think it was a genius idea to have him come on with his signature artwork to do Tom’s Toe and send up the kind of strips he’d normally contribute to other comics! However, unlike his other work he was given full credit on the page for this one.

“John Geering was an acquaintance of Tony’s from pre-OiNK days whom I was introduced to later when OiNK first started,” Patrick told me. “John was working for Cosgrove Hall at the time on Danger Mouse and Count Duckula, alongside Andy Roper – they were both frequent visitors to the OiNK studio and John was delighted at the suggestion that he should parody his own style. And [Group Editor of Humour] Bob Paynter thought it was a great idea, too (albeit, to bite the hand that fed him!)” Brilliant stuff!

Unfortunately John is no longer with us, having passed away in 1999, working on Beano right up to the end. An obituary to this great talent can be found on The Independent website.

So the screen fades to black on another issue of OiNK, the lights have come back on and we’ve got sticky soda-encrusted popcorn stuck to our shoes. In two weeks the gang will all be back with the perfectly timed #13, the Hallowe’en Special, so come back on Monday 18th October 2021.

QUIZ ANSWER: “________ knees and booms-a-daisy.“

iSSUE 11 < > iSSUE 13