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OiNK! #36: CHANGES ARE A-TROTTER!

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Percy Plop isn’t wrong, although while the comic would present the changes as a result of a temporarily crazed editor in reality they were permanent. With Fleetway Publications now having bought IPC Magazine’s comics they decided to publish all titles on the same paper stock, which meant a good upgrade for the others but a downgrade for OiNK. I didn’t complain though, which I’ll get to soon, and the theme for this issue was a stroke of genius.

A bit like when the skeleton staff made a hash of #8 this issue sees some strips printed upside down, others drawn by the wrong artist, some are coloured incorrectly and other such randomness occurs. Some strips, even if they don’t have something deliberately ‘wrong’ with them, seem more zany than usual, which is saying something for this comic. Jon Langford’s cover may not be the best the comic ever had but this is one of the very best issues as a whole.

So what did the team think of the physical changes and did Fleetway enforce any other alterations? “We were all disappointed initially with the changes but, fortunately, it didn’t dampen our spirit so it was ‘business as usual’ producing the best content within our means,” co-creator/co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me. “Though the publisher changed from IPC to Fleetway, Bob Paynter still held his position as Group Editor and it was him we were answerable to, with the same amount of creative freedom as before. It was still fun to produce.”

Maybe to soften the blow for fans of the glossy paper (now on thicker matt stock, slightly thinner in width) or maybe to publicise it for new readers as the publisher pushed their new purchases, this and the next two issues had these fun stickers which ended up all over my house as a kid (and on my fridge and home office door as a 40+ year-old). The logo shifted up into the corner in a colourful banner and this too would be kept, although initially shifted about and resized from issue-to-issue, emphasising the random nature of OiNK.

“The logo change,” continues Patrick. “We were running short of pink ink so we decided to reduce the size of the pink logo to economise.” Typical Patrick response, that. “Only joking. I think we just wanted to experiment and give more room to the cover illustration, knowing we could always change back to the bigger logo, which we ultimately did.” That would happen when OiNK went weekly in the new year. I really enjoyed the way it looked over these issues though and it did indeed give more space to some fantastic covers, as you’ll see soon.

So what was the comic’s reason behind the sudden changes we readers found in our hands?

Written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by Ian Jackson Uncle Pigg introduces himself to new readers the way he did in the soft relaunch issue, #15 (which also gave away the first of three free gifts). This normally happened when a comic got a new look, something I enjoyed every time it happened with Transformers, for example. It’s understandable and didn’t detract from the strip for established pig pals. As Percy says in that final panel anything could happen, and everything did! On the very next page is an upside down strip, along with the image of Percy I showed at the top of this review, commentating on the new paper.

We’ll get to possibly the craziest strip OiNK had produced up to this stage in a minute but first comes something of a spiritual successor to last issue’s Arctic Adventure, although I’m sure it’s more of a coincidence. Either way, Tarzham the Apeman is a fantastic, funny strip I just had to include. Written by Tony Husband and drawn by Chas Sinclair, the same winning partnership behind semi-regular Lashy the Wonder Pig, it’s another tale taking shots (no pun intended) at cowardly animal hunters.

Tony is a huge supporter of animal rights and conservation, often sharing his opinions on hunters on social media in his inimitable style, using funny cartoons to make his point. I think the first speech balloon on the second page sums up those sorts of people, and the solution to the problem not only highlights the stupidity and greed of hunters but it genuinely made me laugh out loud. The ending is similar to Simon Thorp’s last time but both strips work so well I’m glad we got both.

Contributing to 40 issues of OiNK altogether, Ed McHenry would become best known for two particular things: his regular strip Wally of the West, a character I thought was in OiNK a lot more than he actually was (in reality only appearing in 12 and not until #53) and OiNK’s quiz pages, examples of which I’ve shown in the reviews for #6 and #12. However, we also enjoyed a selection of one-off characters from Ed, such as The Loon Ranger and his horse Radish.

Strips like these from Ed would become more regular during this period, yet another reason why this is my very favourite period in OiNK’s run. Below this is a quick three-panel Hadrian Vile which is a bit strange for one of the comic’s main characters. The excuse given is that the crazed Uncle Pigg ate Hadrian’s diary but in reality the next chapter in his story would perfectly fit the next issue’s theme instead, so for this issue a quick stop gap was needed so they could postpose his strip until his three pages next time. There’s also a tiny Frank Sidebottom strip about the end of the school term, apparently printed ten months too early according to the note underneath.

If all that sounds crazy you haven’t seen anything yet. Jeremy Banx’s strips are known for their surreal humour and random daftness. He’s always able to take a ludicrous idea that really shouldn’t work and turn it into pure comedy gold. Already peculiar on a regular basis, how could a Burp strip stand out in an issue themed around being peculiar? How about a story involving him wanting a Cary Grant tattoo on his meters-long tongue? This includes a panel that I never forgot after seeing it. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell which one.

Funniest moment? Oh that’s far too difficult to narrow down. How about a tattoo parlour having a free trial offer? Or the tattooist’s blank eyes and small balloon text as he reacts to what he’s just been told? The way he straddles Burp’s tongue, or even shouts after him for his tip? Already hilarious, already weird, already daft, somehow Jeremy is able to ramp it up even more in those final panels, cramming in so many insane moments you feel like you need to catch your breath while reading it.

I do like the seal of approval on Pete’s strip, a little dig at W.H. Smith

Both of Jeremy’s regular strips, this and Mr Big Nose had a knack of surprising us with endings that just came out of nowhere, and while completely random, out-of-nowhere end gags can sometimes fall flat in other comics this was never a problem for Jeremy. He nailed it every single time. This next handful of fortnightly OiNKs would see Burp’s strip regularly expand to two pages with some of the best strips the comic as a whole ever produced! I can’t wait to see them again.

A quick look at some other highlights before we move on. On the Grunts letters page there’s a quick glance at a new piece of merchandise coming very soon indeed and the results of #27’s Pop-Star Lookalike Contest with Frank Sidebottom had a particularly fantastic entry from reader Graham Fenton and blog reader Tim Fee. Elsewhere, both Rubbish Man and Pete and his Pimple are victims of the issue’s peculiarities, although I think Rubbish Man came off worse. I do like the seal of approval on Pete’s strip, a little dig at W.H.Smith moving OiNK to the top shelves due to just two complaints.

Grunts compiled by Patrick Gallagher
Pop Star Lookalikes compiled by Chris Sievey
Rubbish Man by David Haldane
Pete and his Pimple by Lew Stringer

Our smelly alien isn’t the only person to get two pages this issue. Lew Stringer’s Tom Thug gets to enjoy a bit more space to cause bovver in. I’ve mentioned before how OiNK’s high quality, glossy paper stock not only allowed gorgeous painted artwork, the black and white strips could also benefit from intricate shading, Lew in particular applying grey washes to his. While the paper from this issue onwards was a downgrade, it was still a cut above the newsprint OiNK’s contemporaries had been using up to this point.

“The quality of print on the matt stock paper was pretty good,” Patrick told me. “In my view it gave it more of a retro comic feel and warmth, which I liked.” I concur. While the gloss was lovely, and the plan was always to have the Holiday Specials use it, I really liked this paper but was struggling to articulate why until Patrick described it like that. This high grade matt was capable of the same techniques Lew had always been using, but you’ll notice its conspicuously absent from Tom’s strip.

“Yes, I think I expected it to be like newsprint so I avoided doing a grey wash on the strips until I saw that it was a better grade of paper than I thought it would be,” Lew explained too me. “I thought it was a shame the paper was downgraded from glossy but that wasn’t the first time budget cuts had affected a comic so it was inevitable I guess.” Lew would return to his usual style pretty quickly and we’d see OiNK’s most popular character shaded once more.

But what about the rest of that story? Well, Banx’s strips were great when he’d pull a conclusion seemingly out of nowhere but above it appears crazy Uncle Pigg giving the cartoonist a holiday, forcing him to rush the ending of Tom’s strip, has had the opposite effect. Our editor’s assistants The Plops have no choice but to allow Tom to finish his strip himself. Well that’s just inviting disaster, isn’t it?

My favourite bit is the fact the re-use of a panel from #17 (the previous Christmas issue no less) is an actual reprinting and not just Lew drawing it again. Go and check out that previous issue’s review to compare them if you don’t believe me. An ingenious strip and giving Tom two pages in an issue set up to attract new readers was a great idea, seeing as how popular he was (and would be in Buster for years to come).

Underneath Lew’s Pete and his Pimple strip were a couple of plops drawn by Ian Jackson who, along with some bad (as in groan-inducing) spotty puns, commented on everything that was going wrong with the strip. They appear throughout the comic, getting increasingly worried about what’s happening right up until we get the delight of seeing Harry the Head drawn by J.T. Dogg.

Normally drawn by his creator Marc Riley, we’ve become used to seeing Harry in Marc’s simplistic but energetic fashion, so to see him rendered by Malcolm Douglas (J.T.’s real name) like this is a sight to behold. There’s no writing credit but I think it’s safe to assume Marc would’ve still been responsible for the script. Oh, and that little image at the bottom leads to Uncle Pigg exploding on the next page!

Well, sort of. When he blows up screws and metal bits and bobs come flying out and the real Uncle Pigg soon reappears to explain with some “handy plot explanation”.

What an issue! It’s been an absolute delight to read this one again, it’s more than held up to the fond memories I had of it from 35 years ago. In fact, I can remember walking back from the newsagent with it in hand in 1987. Walking very fast actually, because I was thrilled with these exciting changes to my comic and couldn’t wait to see what this would mean on the inside. (I’m sure the stickers helped quicken my pace too.)

“Fat! Floppy! Fun! The biggest news ever for pig pals!”

A fabulous start to OiNK’s Golden Age (my own term, see here for more on that) and one of the best all round issues so far. It feels brand new again, like a fresh start in the same way #15 did. Also, all the best issues are the ones with a strip continuing through the comic in fun and original ways, such as #3‘s Star Truck and our editor again in the festive #17. The next edition is the Happy Families issue and I remember the fun Mike Higgs cover, the cut-out game and most of all the three-page Hadrian Vile strip!

You’re going to get sick of me saying this over the next few months, but I can’t wait for the next issue. Speaking of looking forward to things, the inside back cover finally revealed what had been hinted at for months. So that’s me looking forward to Christmas now too!

The review of OiNK #37, the Happy Families issue will be published on Monday 19th September 2022.

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OiNK! #35: TRAVELLiNG HALFWAY

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With Ian Jackson back on cover duties off we go with the second half of OiNK’s run. Of course, we didn’t know this was the case at the time. As far as the (much) younger version of me was concerned the comic was going to run and run just like Beano or The Dandy (with OiNK being my first comic I had yet to experience a cancellation). There’s so much great stuff to come over the remainder of this year in particular (1987 in old money) but first I want to touch upon something, a change which seemed so small and insignificant but which would ultimately decide OiNK’s fate.

By coincidence Fleetway Publications took over from IPC Magazines at the exact halfway point in the comic’s eventual 68-issue run and it’s only with hindsight that I can say it was an incredibly important moment. Looking at #35 you’d not notice it unless you read the copyright blurb at the bottom of the Grunts letters page so you may be wondering why I’m giving it such prominence right at the beginning of this review.

A wonderful selection of input from the readers which co-editor Patrick Gallagher tailored to the theme of the issue, that of travel. You could almost see this issue as a mini holiday special or as a follow up to last year’s summery #7. You’ll see the change in the blurb at the bottom of the page too.

With average sales of around 100,000 per issue OiNK was a hit for IPC Magazines

Fleetway was originally created by newspaper group chairman Cecil Harmsworth King and when he later purchased Odhams and Newnes the IPC holding company was formed to oversee them all. Eventually it was all rebranded, OiNK falling under IPC Magazines alongside all the other comics. However, in 1987 IPC sold off its comics by placing them into a separate ‘Fleetway Publications‘ company and selling the whole caboodle to Robert Maxwell‘s Pergamon Holdings Ltd. Maxwell’s company now owned the independently crafted OiNK.

With average sales of around 100,000 per issue OiNK was a hit for IPC Magazines and they certainly treated it as such. They were also very happy with the buzz one of their titles was generating in the press and the celebrity endorsements it attracted. This didn’t stop it being victim to some fiddling under the new company though, but we’ll get to that in a future post and I’ll touch upon the importance of the next issue (and the immediate physical changes to the comic in particular) in its review. But for now let’s get back to the comedy with my favourite Greedy Gorb strip.

Greedy was usually written by his creator and artist Davy Francis and I dare say most (if not all) of the background jokes here were also added by Davy. The main set up and joke were written by Howard Osborn this time though, who actually has no less than five strips to his name in this one issue alone. Howard worked in law in some administrative capacity according to co-editor Patrick Gallagher. He would write his OiNK material after work whilst having a pint in the pub.

There can’t have been many pig pals who wouldn’t have had Pete Throb as one of their favourite characters

In any other comic Gorb could’ve become very repetitive but in OiNK that was never a concern and his mini strips were always a highlight, especially when there were so many gags squeezed into such a small space. The main pun would’ve been enough anywhere else but Davy always liked to give us plenty of value. My personal favourite here (although it’s hard to choose) would be the teeny tiny wings on the Flying Scotsman.

Elsewhere, a one-off character appears in two separate strips, both written by Howard. This is the best of the two and it appears Howard is trying to give pun masters Davy and Graham Exton a run for their money with Tommy Tyre (He Gets Around), drawn by Mike Green.

There can’t have been many pig pals who wouldn’t have had Pete Throb as one of their favourites. Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple was one of the most popular strips and featured in crossovers with Lew’s other creations Tom Thug and Pigswilla. Later in the run the strip would include a weekly competition asking readers to send in their outlandish pimple cures, he’d make the cover in an image that required the OiNK logo to be altered for the issue and he’d even get his own pull-out comic! Phew.

Following on from his collaboration (of sorts) with Tom just a fortnight ago, this issue brings us a full board game titled Around the World With 80 Zits. As well as this taking up the middle pages there’s a strip introducing the game’s scenario complete with cut out figures to use as player pieces, a bit like Frank Sidebottom’s in the first Holiday Special. This certainly wouldn’t be the last time we’d get a cut out game either.

So the set up is simple and the race for the miracle cure is on. The game is a wonderful, full-colour spread complete with so many ways to force the players around the board you could get dizzy playing! Just look at square number eight and follow its instructions to see what I mean. (The only thing more cruel than that one is square 44.) I never did play it as a kid because I didn’t like to cut up my OiNKs but I can imagine the laughs to be had for those that did.

To be fair the instructions contain the first clue that this isn’t going to be your normal board game, not when they include the words “tough luck”. I love all the little details around the route, containing everything from palm trees to the South Pole, a kangaroo to a yeti. There’s even a drawing of Blackpool Tower, a trademark holiday destination for many of Lew’s comics characters over the years. That’s understandable when you find out it’s a favourite place for Lew himself to visit.

After the game we get a bonus mini-strip as a conclusion to the race, with the winning character’s face conveniently obscured so no matter who wins they can pretend it’s their fate being portrayed.

Of course it had to have a twist ending, have you not been paying attention to these comic reviews? Definitely the best game the comic has produced so far, although it would have stiff competition in just a couple of issues from now. Still, with taking in so many random locations it’s the perfect main event to this travel special. Other characters were out and about too, as you’ll see in this selection of highlights from elsewhere in the issue.

On the back cover Frank Sidebottom had left his holiday snaps on the train so was forced to draw them from memory, Rubbish Man and Boy Blunder discovered the truth on their terrifying ‘Hunt the Yeti’ trip, Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt visited a brilliantly named drinking establishment, the Grim Reaper made his first appearance in The Adventures of Death while buying a helicopter for his “reclaiming work” and Hadrian Vile’s life was about to change forever, a situation which he handled in his usual inimitable style.

Frank Sidebottom by Chris Sievey
Rubbish Man by David Haldane
Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt by Jeremy Banx
Adventures of Death by Charlie Brooker
Hadrian Vile written by Mark Rodgers, drawn by Ian Jackson

After a break for a few issues David Leach’s Psycho Gran is back. She’s making up for lost time with a full page of her own and it’s almost a silent comedy. Usually taking up no more than half a page, it’s great to have a larger strip and it really is chock full of fun. David squeezes in as many panels as he can, each one intricately detailed as the little old dear goes through a situation many of us may find familiar.

Okay, so her solution isn’t exactly conventional, but I do love the panel where she lifts the weapon out of her tiny bag after searching through it in the previous one. The lack of background, the angel of its composition and her tongue sticking out as she concentrates are all brilliant, all of these little things combining to make this moment stand out as genuinely funny.

I remembered her taking up the back page of a Christmas issue of OiNK with a funny image of her waiting for Santa Claus (reminiscent of David’s Psycho Gran Versus series in recent years) and a large section of the second annual was devoted to her too, so it was a nice surprise to find her given a full page strip in the regular comic. Here’s hoping for more.

After the wonderful Sownd of Music spoof movie poster in #29, Simon Thorp returns to bring us a strip this time called Arctic Adventure, in which a narrator tells a captive audience the fantastical tale of the world’s greatest fur hunter. Now, if this sounds a bit off to you and if you’re asking why OiNK would tell such a tale in a comic which lampooned butchers, hyped piggies up as heroes and was genuinely animal-friendly, you wouldn’t be alone. Obviously there’s more to it and reading Simon’s story I was just waiting for the twist, which was hugely satisfying.

Two particular moments (asides from the obvious one) stand out for me here. The first is panel four, where the caption tells us of how he’d track so many beautiful and exotic creatures down… and shoot them. The other is when he “bravely” loads his machine gun, a weapon the polar bear would have no chance against, and then his terror when it won’t fire. I think this strip perfectly sums up how cowardly sports hunters are.

In recent years I’ve seen countless images going viral on social media of big game hunters with smug grins next to the carcasses of beautiful animals who they’ve slaughtered with their high-powered weaponry, posing like they were so brave to shoot a defenceless creature, like it took so much effort beyond simply twisting their cowardly finger around a trigger. I think Simon’s Arctic Adventure perfectly sums up these sorts of people.

It’s fitting that the technicolour Street-Hogs: Day of the Triffics gets to have its finale in this issue

Finally, as we say goodbye to the glossy paper for now (more on that next time) it’s fitting that the technicolour Street-Hogs: Day of the Triffics gets to have its finale first. As stated before this was my first exposure to the ‘Hogs as a kid, their previous adventure having already ended by the time I discovered OiNK, so to me this had felt epic. However, readers of the original 12-part story may have felt somewhat disappointed things were coming to an end already, the story lasting only a third of the time.

With what had looked like Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith‘s entire toolbox flying through the air towards them at the end of last issue’s strip, I wondered how on Earth they were going to get out of that one with less than a second to spare (apparently). I don’t know why I keep trying to guess. Mark Rodgers’ script would always come up with something so ridiculous and J.T. Dogg’s artwork would portray it so perfectly, the randomness of their insane escapes was the main reason I loved them so much!

It all ends with a ‘Coming Soon’ caption, however their next serial wouldn’t be seen until the last days of the comic, their multipart tale all packed into one of the big, fat monthlies. From memory it’ll be a very different beast of a tale but worth the wait. Speaking of waiting, that’s what we’ll have to do for now as we’ve reached the end of another review. The next issue will surprise you but some of the changes weren’t liked by everyone. Personally, these issues to come are my very favourites so I can not wait! Watch out for a special personal post about them over the next two weeks and then #36’s review will be here from Monday 5th September 2022.

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OiNK! #32: PHYSiCAL FUN

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I’m not a sports fan, never have been. As a kid when OiNK was published my dad and brother were football mad but I simply had no interest. The Olympics were always the exception though and that remains true today, I’ll be glued to the TV day and night for two weeks solid (I’ve even booked time off work before for them) but then normal service resumes for four years. So it was with trepidation that I approached the latest issue of OiNK, which upon first glance I had no recollection of from childhood.

But now I’ve finished the issue I needn’t have worried. It begins with that cover by Steve McGarry whose work we haven’t seen since #4, and this would be the last cover (and accompanying strip) he’d draw for the comic, his contribution to The OiNK! Book 1988 already completed even if we wouldn’t see it for a while yet. But the panels down the left really had me laughing, in particular the one about sports commentators. A funny start and inside the first laugh out loud moments come courtesy of Jeremy Banx’s smelly alien, Burp.

At this point Burp’s attempts at ingratiating himself with his human neighbours seem to be entering a rather gory phase, beginning with the malfunctioning fast food machine in #30 and in a strip I didn’t feature last issue he sliced off the top of Ronald Reagan’s head to have a chat with his brain. Bringing this little girl’s teddy bear to life might be the thing of fairy tales but as you can see Jeremy took it a step further to show the repercussions of such an act bedtime stories never would.

As well as the blackness of the blood adding to the funny horror and the bear’s protestations, there are a many more moments I found myself chuckling away here, not least of all Burp’s long explanation of what he did to the bear while never catching on that this was previously a toy. Also the fact it’s all done with ‘Bupa’ rays. Adverts for Bupa were on the telly all the time back then so even as a child I’d have found this funny. (UPDATE: Having now read further I can reveal this wouldn’t be the last time we’d see this teddy.) This issue was also the first time we saw two other individuals.

David Haldane’s Torture Twins were a regular staple of the comic from here on in, appearing in every regular issue except the penultimate monthly. A tale of twin brothers who really enjoyed their work. Their work just happened to be medieval torturing. In such a dark profession I guess it helps to have a good sense of humour. From gags and puns based on what devices they were using, to more ridiculous forms of torture, they were a highlight and a fan favourite. It’s good to finally see them here.

I knew of Day of the Triffids from watching the movie not long before this issue, so it was the perfect material to parody

While this issue as a whole didn’t seem to jog the memory cells as much as others there’s one definite highlight that takes me right back. It was the first time I’d come across certain characters (my first issue was #14) who had made such a huge impact with pig pals who’d been with the comic from the start. Written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by J.T. Dogg, the second epic adventure for The Street-Hogs began here. The Day of the Triffics would be a lot shorter than their original story but this one made a huge impact on me.

For young readers already familiar with them it must’ve felt like an age since their last appearance in #11. The hype of their return began in #27 and was further added to last time with a large poster, but now the moment was finally here. I was completely won over by two things, namely the return of Dogg as the artist after I’d loved his work on Ham Dare and the reason behind the plants being called ‘Triffics’! (In the spread below, your eyes may instinctively try to read the whole of the first page thanks to how those TV screens are laid out, but this should be read all the way across)

It’s been too long since we’ve had a series of one preposterous cliffhanger after another with equally ridiculous escapes the following issue. I knew of the Day of the Triffids from watching the movie late one night with my mum not long before this, so it was the perfect material to parody as far as I was concerned. The mysterious baddie really isn’t mysterious at all for those who’d read the first adventure, but that was all part of the fun, that our daring, gung-ho heroes couldn’t even figure that much out. I’m really looking forward to the next few issues.

So far out of the highlights I’ve shown only one has stuck to the theme, so here’s a selection of panels taken from throughout the issue. Pete and his Pimple finally work together to show it’s not all a bum deal for the spotty teen, there are some exercise ideas even I could get behind, a very funny spoof tabloid The Bumb is more believable than the real thing (and stars radio DJ Mark Radcliffe!) and then the final panel is about as close as we’d get to a friendship between Hector Vector and his Talking T-Shirt.

Pete and his Pimple by Lew Stringer
OiNK Exercises written by Howard Osborn, drawn by Ian Knox
The Bumb starred Mark Radcliffe
Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt by Jeremy Banx

DJ and TV presenter, and close friend of editor Patrick Gallagher and writer/artist (and fellow radio DJ) Marc Riley, Mark Radcliffe worked alongside both on The Mark Radcliffe Show on BBC Radio One after OiNK and Round the Bend came to an end. The three also performed as The Shirehorses, a parody band that came off the back of the radio show. Also, Patrick and Mark performed with Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom in his Oh Blimey Big Band, a photo of which you can see in #16‘s review. Of course, you’ll also know Marc and Mark as Mark and Lard! Thanks as always to Patrick for the info and the photo.

Do you remember spot-the-ball competitions? They could still be around for all I know, but in case they’re not I’ll explain. They’d run in newspapers and magazines back in the 80s and would involve a photograph taken during some action in a football game, with the ball itself removed from the picture. This would always be very cleverly disguised and given the technology of the day was quite the feat because there’d be no trace of it in the photo.

Competition entrants would need to look at the positions of each individual player, their actions, where they’re looking etc. and try to figure out where best to place their ‘X’ to highlight where they think the ball was in that precise moment. The team behind OiNK decided to run a similar competition and went to the same painstaking levels of professionalism to ensure it was as difficult to work out as possible.

I was so happy to see the return of Tom’s Toe in this issue! Originally appearing back in #12, co-editor and writer Tony Husband‘s creation then popped up in the first Holiday Special before disappearing again until #30. Given the nature of the strip, that it would parody clichés from OiNK’s own sister publications, it worked best as a special character who’d just pop up now and again. If Tom had been a regular I think the joke could’ve worn thin and he could’ve strayed into cliché himself.

Thankfully that never happened and here his return is marked with a brilliant strip which really highlights the differences between OiNK and other comics of the day. Of course, it’s all helped along by the fact it’s drawn by John Geering whose usual work was among that which Tom was parodying! So, this time Tom and his friends are playing a game of footie when the ball bursts. What to do? Well, we have a boy whose toe can take on any form so naturally he grows it to resemble a football.

Tom’s four appearances were brief but memorable and the perfect antidote to the safer humour OiNK was created to counter

This halfway point of the page feels like the end gag for a traditional strip in another comic; “Haha, oh he made it into a football this week, I wonder what he’ll do next time haha?” But this is OiNK. OiNK was different, it went further. In this case, it takes the scenario further to see what would actually happen next, turning the second half of the strip into something else completely. The whole page is kind of like a metaphor for the difference between traditional comics and this one.

Unfortunately, this would be the last time we’d ever see Tom. His four appearances were brief but memorable and the perfect antidote to the safer humour OiNK was created to counter in the first place. John would return in the first OiNK Book, drawing more jokes aimed at other comics he worked on. As a child I’d no idea this was the case because OiNK was the only humour comic I collected for a while, but now I can appreciate his contributions even more than I originally did.

The final page I’d like to highlight is Frank Sidebottom’s. Chris Sievey was a creative genius, let’s make no bones about it, and since he joined the ranks of OiNK he’s designed a cut-out zoetrope, his own Time magazine cover and even created working programs for young ZX Spectrum computer users. The page he’s brought us this time once again shows the insane amount of work he’d put into OiNK. We appreciated it every single time.

No other character had such a variety of content from issue to issue. We just never knew what would be next with Frank. He particularly seemed to enjoy giving us an excuse to cut up our precious comics, giving us even more value for (our parents’) money. He certainly didn’t let us down with his (deep breath) Frank “Windy” Sidebottom vs Elton John All-Star Cut-Out Snooker Game. The rules alone were surely a feat to create. At one stage he even suggests throwing them out, they’re that intricate.

A simply wonderful page for us to finish on this time. The next OiNK comic review will be up from Monday 25th July 2022, the theme of which really puzzled me back in 1987, then made me very happy indeed to be living in Northern Ireland and not another part of the UK as a child. You’ll have to come back in a fortnight to find out what that’s all about.

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This is a somewhat unique addition to OiNK’s run and one I missed out on at the time, despite it being briefly advertised in #32. I can only blame my young self’s lack of attention span for that one. Given away free with #48 of ZX Spectrum computing magazine Crash, this 16-page freebie (the pages are smaller than usual, made to slide inside the A4 Crash) contained all new material from a variety of OiNK contributors. As a tie-in with the new computer game it was an original idea and a smart move, potentially a great way of bringing new readers over to the comic.

I’ve already covered the magazine’s OiNK article which contained an interview with co-editor Tony Husband and a special Frank Sidebottom page, so let’s take a look inside the comic that came with it. We’ve a superb Ian Jackson cover to begin, with Uncle Pigg playing the game on a Spectrum computer which leads to a strip inside featuring him and Mary Lighthouse (critic) in a take on Max Headroom. But it’s across the page from this that things take a turn for the weird.

Lew and Mark decided the strips would work best if they reflected the gameplay

Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple and Tom Thug strips feel a little off and originally I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. Pete’s strip has a different name and basically his pimple goes on a bouncing spree (complete with dog-like yelping noises), flattening some bullies in the process. It’s a bit tame compared to normal, and in Tom’s strip he’s driving about in a ‘Thugmobile’ shooting bovver boots out of a cannon at invading zombies! It’s a dream of course. He awakes to say he’s doesn’t know why he’d dream that but his bedroom is full of zombie posters and toys, something never mentioned before in OiNK. How bizarre.

Don’t get me wrong, both are enjoyable strips, however there’s a reason they feel very different than normal. Lew and co-editor Mark Rodgers decided they’d work best if they reflected the gameplay in the OiNK game. But since that didn’t really reflect the comic (and instead was made up of mini-games with the characters shoehorned in) their strips in turn don’t really reflect their usual hilarious outings. Pete’s game was a Breakout clone, bouncing a ball (his pimple) to break bricks, for example. I’m also not quite sure why Pete’s pus is suddenly green, although Patrick Gallagher did confirm they did the colour separations and not Crash.

There are some funny moments here, like the sound effects used in Pete’s strip being classic comic titles such as ‘Pow!’ and ‘Wham!’ and of course the word ‘Crash’ is used as much as possible! David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is the third and final strip of a character featured in the game and unfortunately it’s pretty poor, with Boy Blunder playing the game while our hero dispatches some random vegetable villains in the background. None of his smelly powers (or even his smell) feature at all, so as a pig pal it just feels rather bland.

“He defeated the dreaded Three-headed Politician of Gassbagg!!”

Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom

Much better is the double-page spread in the middle of the comic drawn by J.T. Dogg. Written by Mark Rodgers the title Mutant Space Barbarian Magic Warriors of Doom sums up some of the ludicrous names we were subjected to for some of the less-than-great gaming titles back in the 80s. It centres on an arcade machine with somewhat magical powers. Perhaps inspired by Tron, it’s a much more colourful affair with Dogg’s excellent artwork.

With its fast-paced humour, daft ending and some 80s satire it’s the best introduction to OiNK possible for Crash readers. That ending in particular had me laughing. With all of that build up, the heroic deeds and all of Mike’s victories, for it all to be torn down in a couple of sentences and the whole world to fall into despair as a punchline is great stuff. Classic Mark, really. Billed as “An Interactive Comic Strip” for the computer mag, in reality it boils down to a competition for the readers to send in suggestions of what poor Mike saw that turned him into a pile of Angel Delight.

The address for this competition is OiNK’s, meaning the winning entrants would be published in the comic instead of the magazine. We’re almost at a simply superb contribution from Frank, but first here’s a quick look at some of the other highlights. Mary Lighthouse (critic) isn’t too happy with Uncle Pigg’s simulation of her in that Max Headroom-inspired strip, you can see part of Tom Thug’s strange dream based on the game, Harry the Head scares a show off on the school computers and this issue was the perfect place for a reader’s Groovy Graphics.

Mary Lighthouse written by Mark Rodgers, drawn by Ian Jackson
Tom Thug by Lew Stringer
Harry the Head by Marc Riley

Up next Frank Sidebottom has a text-heavy (which suits the magazine) double-page spread and it contains an extraordinary amount of work on the part of his alter ego, Chris Sievey. From the introduction that pokes some fun at the Sinclair ZX81 (accurate though, so he’s done his research) to his piece about the “fiddly bits inside computers” and his funny facts about the machines (and neighbours) that includes praise for Clive Sinclair’s infamous C5 personal cycle, it’s a delight to read.

It also contains some actual working type-in programs for ZX Spectrum users. These little gems are not only working programs, they’re funny in their own right. Complete with cut-out cassette covers which hilariously had nothing to do with what was on the screen (but none for Little Frank‘s game, naturally), one ‘game’ would basically select a random point on the screen and you had to use your cursor to find it in a trial-and-error fashion. The other was a linear romantic story where all you’d do is hit a key to read the next line and it’d give you a couple of choices to get slightly different compliments about what a nice young woman you are.

Oh and Little Frank’s program prints “l.f. is better than f.s.” at random points on the screen. Silly and pointless, but that in itself was the whole point.

To round things off for potential new OiNK readers what else could be on the back page but a GBH madvertisement? The 80s was a very exciting time for what would become a multi-billion pound industry worth more than the movie and television markets! Everything was brand new and younger people in particular jumped at the chance to become part of it, creating their own games from home, just like a lot of the mainstream games were back then. GBH clearly saw an opening in the market for ripping people off.

The pictures for this were taken by OiNK’s resident photographer John Barry and that lady at the computer (that contraption is so funny in itself!) is John’s wife at the time, Ike Walton. Thanks to co-editor Patrick Gallagher for the info. Unfortunately the names of the children and that wonderful old man have been lost to the mists of time.

If you’re interested in tracking down this unique little issue of OiNK it also includes Billy Bang, Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins, Mr Big Nose, Burp and Hugo the Hungry Hippo. While I do believe some strips would’ve been a much better introduction for their characters and the comic if they hadn’t tried to tie themselves into the game, I completely understand why they chose to do so. It’s still a funny wee comic and a unique edition that no OiNK collection is complete without.

Quite a few posts make up the blog’s coverage of the OiNK game, beginning with the preview in Zzap!64, an in-depth look at the Crash magazine this comic was bundled with and a Retro Gamer article from 2021 containing an interview with the game’s creator. Still to come on is the Zzap!64 review of the game itself and later in the year a couple of issues of Commodore Format in which they gave the game away free but under a different name, then detailed how to beat it.

But probably most excitedly for established pig pals who picked this issue up were the first images of two things coming later in 1987, in a promo by Patrick. Stick with the blog, folks.

iSSUE 30 < > iSSUE 31

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OiNK! #31: BiG! BOLD! BRASH! AMERiCA!

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This issue of OiNK sits on my shelves as a loose collection of pages, although you wouldn’t know it until you picked it up. But if I’m not careful all its pages will fall out and become strewn all over the floor. Why have I taken one of my precious comics apart like this? There’s a very good reason and we’ll get to that later in the review, but for now you’ll just have to trust me when I say I had no choice. Hopefully that’s got you suitably intrigued to stick around for the remainder of this post about the Star-Spangled USA Issue, as if you couldn’t tell from that logo.

Andy Roper’s cover art makes just as big an impression, his King Pong strip the star of the inner pages. The recreation of the famous New York finale makes the perfect cover and the strip itself is written by Mark Rodgers. Rather than ape (sorry) a human character by putting a pig snout on them, Mark has taken another animal and pig-ified them, creating the “giant ape-like pig”, which is a bit of a stretch. But ridiculous scenarios are par for the course with OiNK and the more ludicrous the better, so we’re off to a swinging (sorry again) start.

Cutting the plot of the epic film down to a couple of pages we do without the love story, instead when King Pong’s smell gets too much for the city his captor turns into that favourite villain of OiNK’s, a butcher. Taking him captive in return it’s up the Empire State Building we go and just when you think it can’t get any more silly the sad ending is swapped out for a really, really stupid heroic getaway. Wrap it all up in one of the comic’s trademark pun-riddled morals and it’s another classic.

The amount of tiny details Andy squeezes in over the two pages is remarkable, with plenty to keep the eyes occupied and the reader chortling along. From one iconic American character to another, new OiNK writer Vaughan Brunt makes his debut with The American Super-Hero, drawn by Mike Green. I remember telling my friends in school about this one. I took every chance I could to highlight OiNK’s jokes, especially when it was parodying something they enjoyed. I was always trying to make pig pals out of them.

Vaughan would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether before moving on. While he was solely a writer (a very funny writer) on the comic, away from the sty he’s an accomplished artist. While he doesn’t have his own online presence, a fan site for classic television series The Prisoner includes an art gallery of his paintings of Portmeirion, Wales where the show was set. You can check out his work here. Remembering those OiNK spoofs (such as Ann Martin‘s Watery Down and Simon Thorp’s movie posters) it’s such a shame Vaughan didn’t draw for the comic in his gorgeous painted style too.

Hadrian Vile’s strip returns to its diary format with some big news for him and his family. Writer Mark Rodgers and artist Ian Jackson’s creation is about to have a baby sibling. As I’ve pointed out before Hadrian’s age increased in OiNK’s birthday issue and now we’d see his mum’s pregnancy for a number of months almost in real time, from the moment Hadrian notices her belly and her rather strange appetite (to say the least). What we have here is a typically funny Hadrian strip with a surprisingly sweet ending.

Hadrian would continue to make his mark on his mum’s pregnancy and in the end we’d see the big day arrive in a family-orientated issue with a special three-page strip. That’ll be in the latter part of this year. I do remember the strip didn’t go down the well-trodden route of the rebellious boy not having any interest with a cutesy baby in his life or disliking his younger sibling. Instead, Hadrian was instantly besotted and took her under his wing as his potential protégé! The regular strip was already a favourite, but with things like this it became an even more unique and original OiNK highlight.

OiNK had an eclectic style, drawing in established artists from the world of children’s comics, adult newspapers and magazines, as well as a range of younger contributors whose careers were only beginning. While other comics may have given the established cartoonists the larger pieces of work and the newcomers the smaller strips, in OiNK they were all treated as equals. For example, alongside those new to the world of kids’ comics were the likes of Mike Higgs, this issue contributing a simple half-page strip about the Statue of Liberty taking a hygiene break.

A couple of highlights from Steve Gibson’s contributions are next. At this point in the run Steve’s style was being used mainly to illustrate quizzes and fact sheet pages, such as the Coast-to-Coast Quiz where we see his version of Snatcher Sam aka Marc Riley, and then Hogathan King brings us Entertainments USA and a recently released cinema flop was squarely in Steve’s sights.

The next highlight was an easy choice to include. Jeremy Banx’s Mr Big Nose has done many things, such as playing Rambo in Little Bo Beep, having Christmas dinner with a turkey and hoovering with a dolphin (named Keith), but here in just half a page he succinctly sums up the US of A like no one else could. A publication like Private Eye could run this strip today and it’d be met with just as many laughs.

If any part of this issue could summarise the attitude OiNK had towards America it was that.

So why is my copy of #31 of my favourite comic of all time falling apart at the seams? Because it doesn’t have its staples anymore. But it’s not my fault they had to be removed. In the centre of this issue is a superb J.T. Dogg Street-Hogs poster showing Dirty Harry trailing a reluctant Hoggy Bare into action. But this is only one half of a double-sized gift from our ever-so-generous Uncle Pigg.

My personal favourite is the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin

The top half featuring Emma Pig and Hi-Fat can be found on the inside front and back covers, so to put the whole thing together kids were instructed to carefully undo the staples (don’t just pull!) and remove the middle poster, then pull the staples out from the rest of the comic, put the cover pages to the side and then somehow push the staples back in through the remaining 24 pages. Unless you have one of those really long office staplers that is impossible, it certainly was for me at this ripe old age never mind back then (I never pulled it apart as a child).

But in order to show you this as intended I couldn’t just pick up the middle of the comic and try to get a photo of the inside covers, so just for you lot my copy shall forever fall apart. See what I do for this site? Anyway, it really is a thing of beauty, just like all J.T. Dogg art. I also love the names of the bikes which I don’t think have been mentioned before; the Hogley-Davison Porkchopper 222, the Yakawaki Trikey-Wikey 5000 and my personal favourite the Sinclaire C500 Electrodustbin, a little dig at the Sinclair C5 personal electric cycle from the 80s.

The ‘Hogs will be back in the next issue with the start of their brand new adventure The Day of the Triffics, which was first name checked way back in #11. This, along with the back page of #27 acted as a way of hyping up the readership for their long-awaited return, although it was kind of lost on me because I hadn’t read their earlier strip, what with my first issue being #14. The artwork looked wonderful though and very funny, but nothing could prepare me for how much I’d fall in love with the characters just two weeks after these posters.

This issue has a “fantastic” back page too. When you flip the comic over you might think there’s been a printing error because it’s upside down but in reality it’s just another clever gag on the part of Chris Sievey aka Frank Sidebottom. Frank’s showbiz career and (probably more importantly) lifestyle was his main running gag, with strips featuring him mingling with celebrities who in reality were cut-out photos glued to the page. With this issue of OiNK and you’ll see he’s taken it to the next level as a cover star of Time magazine.

Having this printed upside down means the comic opens on the correct side of this faux cover, which in itself is a little bit of genius. As ever, his attempts to convince us of his worldwide fame are hilariously portrayed. For example, one very quick glance at the background of the supposed Yellowstone National Park photograph will give the game away. Chris’ creations, showing his character’s poor attempts at creating a fictional reality around Frank’s ego were always a highlight and actually, as fun as the strips were, I think I preferred it when he did stuff like this.

I’ve (carefully) placed the comic back on to the shelf now as we’ve come to the end of yet another review. The next issue of OiNK is themed around sport which is not my favourite topic (Olympics aside) so it’ll be interesting to see how it tickles my funny bone. Remember, just the day before this review was published there was an in-depth look at Crash magazine #42 which featured an interview with OiNK’s three human editors and a lot more besides. The special free issue of OiNK given away with that magazine also has its own review. If you need to, catch up on those and then #32 of the regular comic will be here from Monday 11th July. Phew! See you soon I hope.

CRASH EDiTiON < > iSSUE 32

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