This was the day back in 1988 when the 68th edition of OiNK was due on the shelves, but it didn’t appear. It would be a full week late for me, finally appearing the following Saturday, 22nd October. This was potentially deliberate according to co-editor Patrick Gallagher and I’ll talk about that in the issue’s review. However a week before it arrived, behind this innocuous Tom Paterson cover of Buster, was some terrible news for any pig pals who happened to read OiNK’s sister comic.
Images taken from previous OiNK strips drawn by Lew Stringer and Mike Green
Describing Pete Throb, Weedy Willy and especially Tom Thug as “funsters” doesn’t give me much confidence that the editor of Buster understood these characters or the sense of humour OiNK readers had. Indeed, Lew Stringer has told me about how he changed some popular aspects of his strips for the merge. Will they still be recognisable as the characters we’ve grown to love for two-and-a-half years? Will they still be just as funny when translated to the pages of a more traditional comic, the likes of which OiNK was created to counter and would often ridicule?
You’ll find out in one week. On the same day as the review of OiNK#68 I’ll be taking a look at the first four issues of Buster to contain these favourites. They were the only issues to feature the name of the comic they came from on the cover and at the time I only ever bought the first of them. Why? You’ll find out in seven days on Sunday 22nd October 2023.
Yes Mr. Head, you certainly will be. Especially with those who picked up your own comic. That particular new monthly from Marvel UK was due to begin a month after this issue’s release. In fact its premiere issue would go on sale the same day as the next Dragon’s Claws. So it was time to introduce him, or reintroduce him to those who’d followed his exciting and funny adventures thus far in Transformers and Doctor Who.
We get a mention of his appearance from the end of the previous issue’s story in the FastFax and it also gives us some interesting information on The ‘Pool (Liverpool of the 82nd century) and the make up of England in this apocalyptic time. In the real world of the 80s the north of that country had felt generally neglected by the main UK government and this is clearly being played up to here. At the time of publication this would’ve been particularly pertinent to readers there.
This blog is named after the hilarious 80s comic OiNK which was produced in Manchester, and I think the editors of that particular riotous publication would be rather happy with the north of England being described as an area with an “anarchic nature”. The dates at the top of the FastFax don’t seem to be making sense anymore. In #1 it seemed to refer to the date of the (original) release of the issue, only thousands of years into the future. That’s no longer the case so I can only assume it was never actually meant to be a date.
While last month’s Next Issue page was drawn by the upcoming Death’s Head comic’s Bryan Hitch, Geoff Senior remains on art duties for his and writer Simon Furman’s Dragon’s Claws, with the regular team of letterer Annie Halfacree, colourist Steve White and editor Richard Starkings all present and correct. The story begins with Death’s Head’s arrival spotted by Game team members who think he’s The Evil Dead’s reinforcements, so they decide to take him down before he can meet up with them. Bad idea.
Death Nell’s hiring of Death’s Head is initially somewhat disappointing because we immediately think it’s going to be a contract to take out Dragon but instead it’s for some other Game team that’s become an annoyance to The Evil Dead. That disappointment doesn’t last long. Then, when we catch up with Dragon’s Claws we see the beginnings of a new base of operations for them as the early pieces of a long-running comic series continue to be put in place.
It brings up the question of who is really running the show
With a new Headquarters cue the heroic Saturday morning cartoon-esque call to action! But not before Dragon and N.U.R.S.E.’s Stenson have had a bit of a barney. Stenson let’s it slip that the World Development Council has only just fully endorsed the team’s reactivation after last issue’s rescue of their ambassador, and Dragon isn’t happy as this is yet more evidence N.U.R.S.E. isn’t telling them the whole truth.
It brings up the question of who is really running the show. Just how corrupt are N.U.R.S.E. and the W.D.C. and is the former actually lying to the latter rather than being in cahoots? Dragon also starts to bring up what The High Father is meant to have told him after #2’s story but unfortunately he gets interrupted by Deller and the Claws have to leave for The ‘Pool.
Back up north Death’s Head is about to be sent in to wipe out the Jones’ Brothers team when we get a quick insight into one of the background plots we know Stenson is up to his perfectly tailored neck in. The inner thoughts of one of the Joneses laments the fact it’s come down to them killing each other, yet he knows they have no choice, that some “non-payment” will have been noticed and that they can expect retaliatory action soon. But from who?
As the fight nears his further thoughts confirm my suspicions. Despite being so heavily armed and more than capable of taking on The Evil Dead (of all people), he’s terrified of N.U.R.S.E.! This is because of how they came after the ‘Dead with Dragon’s Claws. It’s N.U.R.S.E. he’s meant to be paying. The conspiracies, back-stabbing and politics of this comic have got me hooked.
“Government enforcers, peace-keeping agents, bounty hunters – all mean the same thing, yes?”
Death’s Head
Deller, the jealous man who wants to take over the Claws from Dragon and a stooge of Stenson’s, knows a lot more than he’s letting on too as you can see above when he admits he’s hiding calls from Dragon’s wife, Tanya. He goes along with the team and as usual tries to take over the situation to further his own cause, until Dragon finally explodes at him about his so-called ’sources’ at N.U.R.S.E., just before they see a certain fan-favourite character for the first time.
I love this moment and at this point I actually changed my mind about Death’s Head being given a contract for Dragon, that would’ve been too predictable. As Death Nell helps the still-recovering Slaughterhouse out of their safe house to make a run for it, more plot points are established. He has some theory about the Claws’ role in recent events and by having both the Claws and Death’s Head out for the Jones’ Brothers they can be certain of success for now.
They leave to recruit new players and Slaughterhouse calls the Claws N.U.R.S.E.’s “little puppets” which leads nicely on to a verbal, rather than physical (to begin with anyway) confrontation between the Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent and Dragon. When Dragon saves him from the last of the brothers, Death’s Head isn’t happy and accuses him of wanting to split the bounty. Dragon explains he was trying to help and that they’re not bounty hunters but “legally appointment government agents”, after which is this interesting retort.
That’s Deller sneaking in at the bottom to take out Death’s Head from behind for no other reason than to stitch up Dragon. But this isn’t someone easily taken out, even from behind and he soon gets the upper hand, shooting Deller in the shoulder and grabbing Dragon by the throat, falling for the ruse that Dragon was allegedly keeping him talking while Deller tried to kill him.
Most interestingly here, after Death’s Head says the team “sure sound like assassins to me”, we see Mercy being told by a dying Jones brother that the Claws are being used by N.U.R.S.E. as their hired killers and she just doesn’t care! It seems she’s the most bloodthirsty of the team and I hope we get a chance to see her character develop, as I think this could put her at odds with the rest of them, in particular Dragon and the honourable Steel.
“Times like this, I’m glad I don’t have to explain myself to an accountant!”
Death’s Head
Back to the moment at hand. Steel and Digit attack Death’s Head, freeing Dragon before he orders them to back off and takes aim. The Peace-Keeping Agent mocks him, asking if he really thinks he can hurt him with such a little gun, and after I turned the page the answer to that is more shocking than I ever couldn’t imagined!
It seems his entrance on the last page of #4’s strip wasn’t the only moment we’d see inspired by the Terminator films. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see him in this state, that’s for sure! Even in the face of possible death though, both when blown up and when he’s about to get crushed on the next page, he’s still able to make quips. Moments like this are why I’ve been so looking forward to reading his own comic and it’s almost here. The hype is very real for me right now and I’m sure Marvel UK were hoping for that.
They tell the captured Game player that due to non-payment their entire family will be killed and he’ll be taken prisoner. Harsh.
He was to get a bit of a redesign for his own monthly, a fresh lick of paint after a few years circulating around other peoples’ comics and this sets that up nicely. It’s strange they didn’t take the opportunity to mention the new comic coming just one month from now anywhere within this issue though. Anyway, as usual the final page of the strip is left to hint at stories to come, with the final remaining Jones brother being taken before the real leader of N.U.R.S.E.
We don’t see this person other than in silhouette as they tell the captured Game player that due to non-payment their entire family will be killed and he’ll be taken prisoner. Harsh. Then the order is given to Stenson to do the same with Dragon’s family before they interfere with their plans, and that’s where it’s left. The letters page also looks to the future, not least by offering subscriptions, none of which would be completely fulfilled.
Some hints about the contents of future issues are dropped too and, just like when Havoc began answering readers’ queries there’s that heartbreaking realisation that all of this potential will come to a premature end. Let’s just hope we get some of it realised in the second half of the comic’s run (yes, we’re already halfway through). There’s so much promise here, between the development of Dragon himself and the slow burning story arcs. I just want to see where it all leads.
We began this read through comparing the first couple of issues to the best 80s action flicks, with some added characterisation for good measure. Dragon’s Claws has successfully emerged from the shadow of its big screen contemporaries to establish itself as an original, absorbing story with plenty of action, some good laughs and characters I already feel like I know pretty well. Not a small feat when it’s only five issues in.
This back page seems to combine more than one subplot too. Deller has been sent to eliminate Dragon’s family while Kurran has caught up with him at the exact same moment. Kurran is the man whose brother was killed by Dragon in #1, and who then found out Deller had paid his brother’s Wildcats team to take on Dragon, knowing they’d be outmatched. Who the woman is I have no idea yet. Questions to be answered and most likely many more to be asked in #6, then.
The release day of the next issue was a particularly exciting one and so it will be again on the OiNK Blog. There’ll be two real time read throughs published on the exact same day, for #5 of Dragon’s Claws and the premiere issue of the brand new Death’s Dead, the only issue I ever read as a child and one which I’m eager to reacquaint myself with after 35 years. So remember, remember to come back to the blog on Sunday 5th November 2023.
These two issues of OiNK were linked by a somewhat famous incident in the life of the comic when #64 published what was initially just another funny page. However, it resulted in a follow up in #67 when it became the topic of conversation in a rather important place in the UK. I don’t think many of our comics have the honour of being a search result on the government’s website, but that’s certainly the case with OiNK. Let’s start at the beginning.
Back in the review for #64 I highlighted writer Howard Osborn‘s Ten Things You Need to Know About the New Poll Tax, retooled as a way of taxing parrot owners across Great Britain, which made about as much sense as the real thing. It was a hilarious piece of satire at a time when Margaret Thatcher’s Poll Tax on the mainland (it never made it over here to Northern Ireland) was getting ridiculed across the media, from the news to Spitting Image. Now a children’s comic was having a go too.
As I said in the review certain points of this feel very prescient, which is actually something I’ve noticed in a lot of OiNK’s more satirical jokes recently. The Poll Tax itself was so universally hated I can remember it being on the news constantly, even though I never paid attention to such things at a young age. The aforementioned latex puppets probably helped in that regard.
Fast-forward three months and #67 had the blurb, “As read in the House of Commons!” emblazoned on the cover. Inside, Uncle Pigg announced that a young pig pal by the name of William Pickering had reached out to local Labour MP Jeff Rooker, who the comic describes as William’s “pal” and showed him OiNK’s piece, for which Howard finally received the writing credit. Uncle Pigg thought readers might like to know his fine publication was then spoken about (and even quoted) in the corridors of power.
It’s quite funny to think this happened at the time, our little comic being referred to by the government and not in a critical way like some late Northern Ireland politicians who had wanted it banned. Instead the rebellious, anarchic OiNK was being held up by a government official, albeit as an example of the contempt felt by the populace for the party in power. But that’s not the end of this particular story.
OiNK had proved its point beyond its wildest dreams
The text is from Hansard, the official record of the UK parliament. “From what I remember, Hansard made contact with us and informed us,” OiNK co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me. “It’s what we pay our taxes for, particularly Poll Tax in this case.” Just for the blog, Patrick reached out to Uncle Pigg on his tropical retirement island for comment, who snorted, “The impression I got was that they [Hansard] were a fan. Don’t forget, we also made an excellent impression on Edwina Curry so we were well respected and talked about in certain quarters of the government, too.” Indeed, here’s a photo from the Smokebuster Special promotion to prove his point.
The parliamentary records are much more accessible today thanks to the Internet and a quick search for ‘OiNK’ in the year 1988 brings up the full session from that day. This includes the complete exchange between Rooker and fellow MP Patrick McLoughlin who, in typical Conservative fashion, completely ignores the point of why the comic was quoted in the first place.
OiNK’s inclusion by Rooker was to show how the tax was so widely unpopular that even children were mocking it. Rooker also clearly explained he didn’t read comics and that a young child of a constituent had pointed it out to him. Despite all of this, the Tory member accuses Rooker of having nothing better to do than read comics, which just showed everyone McLoughlin had no good response to OiNK’s ribbing. He really should’ve just stayed seated and quiet.
So there you go, the day OiNK was read out in the House of Commons. If you’d like to see it on the government’s website for yourself you can check it out at this link, although the screenshot above is all there is on OiNK. I loved the original piece by Howard and seeing the ruling party’s pathetic response just makes it all the funnier. OiNK had proved its point beyond its wildest dreams.
This is a really stinky, smelly, rubbish issue of OiNK. However, as pig pals will attest that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Instead, it’s rubbish with a capital ‘R’ because David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is back after a long hiatus. Originally appearing in every comic, special and book, Rubbish Man disappeared when OiNK when weekly with #45, however David continued to contribute to every issue with his uniquely bizarre sense of humour.
Not intending to do things by halves, Jimmy Bung (our hero’s alter ego) takes up a whopping ten pages of this issue, his adventure split up into five double-page spreads and as you can see by the cover it has a rather famous guest star in the shape of then American President, Ronald Reagan. And a slime monster. Naturally. I love the ‘Reagan In Arms Trouble’ headline, mimicking the newspapers of the day. Interestingly (or coincidentally) the three characters who’d be making the transition to Buster comic in a month are all mentioned on the cover, and watch out for a special blog post next week about that top corner announcement!
We kick things off right at the top of page two with Kev F Sutherland’s Here Comes Rhymin’ Simon, a one-off character whose name suggests the joke will be based solely on how he speaks. However, we should know by now never to predict a strip by Kev. My point is proven when the story actually takes a dig at the push for ‘Made in Britain’ in the press at the time, something Spitting Image also masterfully took the hand out of. Even at my young age (back then, not now) I can remember my friends and I making jokes about those little stickers.
A strong satirical start that this kid definitely appreciated at the time and a few pages later Marc Riley’s Harry the Head returns to top form too. Harry’s strips were always at their best when they were full pages and individual stories. The lengthy adventure serial he had for a few months in the fortnightlies didn’t really work for me and, while his mini-strips in recent issues have been funny, reading this next page reminded me of how strong his entries were right back at the beginning of OiNK.
While having Harry stitched up inside Barney could have made for some (possibly rather disturbing) fun, the end made me chortle. As if Harry being a disembodied head wasn’t a dead giveaway, slapping on a joke shop disguise is just so ridiculous with an already ridiculous character I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s nice to see Marc back to writing for Harry too.
After what felt like a Lew Stringer special last month, the prolific cartoonist returns to a more regular workload. There’s a one-page Tom Thug which rings true, in which we see Tom taking on the true persona of all bullies including the online troll variety. Then Pete and his Pimple’s three-page strip starts off with this imaginative photo collage as he travels into the far-flung future to seek out a pimple cure after a suggestion from reader Matthew Browning of Kent.
A nice little 2000AD reference there too.
The story is a good ‘un if you can track down the issue, with Pete arrested in a world where anyone with spots is jailed for everything that’s wrong with the world, after the government has run out of other minorities to blame. Just to nail the point home, when a robotic claw grabs him it’s named ‘Claws 28’ after Margaret Thatcher’s draconian anti-LGBTQ+ Clause 28 from the late 80s. It’s yet another example of Lew’s social commentary that’s both very funny and unfortunately still very relevant.
Time to see what that front cover was all about and in a distant galaxy we meet the crazy baddie (aren’t they all?) Dr. Blip, the last of his race, and his two henchmen The Glove Puppets From Hell. In order to hold all of planet Earth to ransom for fifty squillion, zillion pounds and a copy of Dire Straits’ latest album he’s kidnapped Reagan and sent the largest monster Rubbish Man has ever faced. How large? Well…
Jings, Rubbish Man! I do believe you’re right! That would’ve been one helluva cliffhanger had the original idea for this strip as a weekly serial been realised. Hinted at back in #52, the plan was for this to be a five-part story but it’s clear David ended up creating it for the monthly format; there are no titles at the beginning of each part (unlike The Street-Hogs in #65 which had been partially drawn before the shift to monthlies) and it all feels very spaced out, like it was created for a larger format.
Below is the page where Reagan is kidnapped by one of Dr. Blip’s hideous monsters just as he’s on the telephone to our smelly hero. The panels are huge and every double-page spread feels like one page of David’s usually packed pages stretched out. The art is gorgeously coloured (a rare thing for Haldane in OiNK) and the grotesque creature is suitably (comically) horrific and very random as per David’s humour, but there’s just not as much to read as we’ve come to expect.
There’s something else missing too. Where’s the mouldy custard squirting out of Rubbish Man’s nostrils? Or the mushy peas spraying out from his fingertips? Or his super garlic breath? While it’s a funny and imaginative strip, apart from one solitary smelly foot none of his powers are present. They were the whole point of the character and why he was so beloved by the children reading the comic.
Instead, all of the gross out humour is reserved for the stomach of the planet devouring beast and hordes of undigested carrots. Or rather, a “hungry horde of psychopathic, semi-digested, blood-crazed diced carrots”. It may not feel like a classic Rubbish Man story but I can’t fault the imagination on show and where else would you find a superhero not only swimming through a swamp of ear wax, but also commenting on how this isn’t his first time.
The story comes to its conclusion when Reagan utters some magical Presidential words told to him by his wife Nancy earlier that day (“Jumpin’ Jellybeans!”) and turns into President of the United States Man. Yes, really. With a simple, single superhero punch Dr. Blip (himself modelled on a certain 80s English politician) is defeated and Rubbish Man takes care of the Glove Puppets from Hell he’d been forced to wear in equally easy fashion. Of course there’s just one more issue to mop up.
Or not, as it turns out.
With the new target audience of teens and students it’s strange to see the absence of the smelly and unhygienic nature of the character. (Surely they’re an even more perfect group of readers for him!) As it stands it’s a fun strip which I think needed about half the space it took up here and I can only imagine the extra laughs it could’ve contained had it been written as five individual strips in the weekly OiNK. As an epic adventure for this particular character it could’ve been so much more.
This was his penultimate strip, with a similarly lengthy story to come in the OiNK Winter Special next year, then there’s a reprint in the OiNK Summer Collection the year after. He doesn’t even pop up in the forthcoming OiNK! Book 1989 (see further below). It’s such a shame because he was a real highlight of those early issues, my favourites to this day still being the colourful Kentucky Fried adventure from the very first issue and the multiple laughs to be had in #9’s bonkers entry. Farewell for now Jimmy, it’s been a whiffy blast. Meanwhile…
This Meanwhile… from Kev F reminds me of a smaller strip by Vaughan Brunt and Mike Green from #31 and just like Vaughan’s debut this was also repeated umpteen times in the school playground to anyone who’d listen. Nice little cameo by one of Kev’s Three Scientists from last month’s highlights, too. From a spoof of one classic comics superhero to a spoof of another classic comic’s adventure strip, this time of the British variety.
Danny and Penny Cretin were overjoyed when their uncle built them an amazing mechanical fish
The Iron Salmon, Lew Stringer
Back in the 60s Beano would have a couple of adventure strips in amongst the silliness and OiNK cartoonist Lew Stringer’s favourite was The Iron Fish, a tale of two young children who owned a fantastic metal submersible in the shape of a giant, dynamic-looking fish in which they’d have various adventures. A couple of decades later and Lew teamed up with artist Andy Roper to bring life to The Iron Salmon, a rather more cumbersome and sorrowful-looking vehicle.
The two children may have the same forenames as their Beano originals but their surname was changed to one Lew felt better suited the rather wet personalities of Beano’s pair. While the adventure strip had them poke their noses into things to save the day, here their nosey nature causes disaster after disaster, neither of them having the intelligence or self-awareness to know they’re the ones causing all of the problems to begin with. This is great fun.
Andy’s art is perfect for spoofing classic comics. He did so with OiNK’S take on Rover‘s and Victor’s Tough of the Track and of course let’s not forget his main contribution to our comic, the phenomenal Spectacles of Doom. The fact the original Iron Fish’s headlights looked like ferocious eyes is brilliantly transformed into big cute ones instead, with a further set of headlights making it look even more gormless. Sadly no longer with us, you can see more highlights from Andy’s time on OiNK including his Scruff of the Track, in his obituary.
You can also check out Lew’s posts about The Iron Fish on his old Blimey! blog, including some of the earliest ones he read as a child, its reinvention for Buddy comic and even a real-life version, The Seabreacher!
As a kid this was the first monthly I spotted strips (as opposed to the posters, which I’d missed the first time) I’d originally read a year or two earlier. This disappointed me but was by no means a deal breaker. Including those posters there are eight pages of reprint material here, more than the previous issues but on the back page came news of something glossy and new! The OiNK! Book 1988 had been so incrediblethe previous Christmas I’d eagerly awaited its sequel. Now, word finally reached pig pals of the 1989 volume.
It was great to see the old logo again. As a kid I hadn’t realised I’d actually missed it until I saw this superb J.T. Dogg cover. His illustration made up for the disappointing news it contained 16 less pages than the previous book, especially disappointing given the regular comic now had 48! As a result, the book having only 16 more pages than the comic it was advertised in felt rather stingy when I originally saw this advert. I could only hope it wouldn’t disappoint on Christmas Morning. We’ll find out in a few short months.
We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon
There’s a surprise return to strip form for one more character before I sign off this review. I’ll end on that but first the Next Issue page (which you’ll see in its own post on Friday 20th October 2023) contains a gorgeous Frank Sidebottom cover which sadly adorns what would be the last issue of OiNK. I can’t believe we’ve come this far already. Don’t worry though, there’s a ton of OiNK content still to come, both in the immediate future and for years yet on the blog.
For example coming next week is that post promised above, on Sunday 15th October you’ll see how Buster comic announced the merge to come the following week, then on Sunday 22nd October you’ll have two reviews to read, one for OiNK#68 and another for the first four Busters starring three of our favourite characters. Then it’ll feel like no time at all until The OiNK! Book 1989 is reviewed on Christmas Day. For now, as we approach the end it feels fitting to have Mary Lighthouse (critic) back in the pages again, here written by F. Jayne Rodgers (co-editor Mark’s sister), her sole contribution and drawn as ever by the irreplaceable Ian Jackson. We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon.
Finally Mary Lighthouse (critic) is back in an honest-to-gosh comic strip in the next issue of OiNK! A regular occurrence during the fortnightly issues, she’s only made fleeting appearances on the likes of the Grunts letters page for a long time now. That situation is about to be corrected in a few days. However, she may have had the Next Issue promo from #66 all to herself but it’s a certain smelly superhero who’ll be the cover star, backed up with a mammoth ten-page story.
Promo art by Ian Jackson
That’s right, #67 sees the long-awaited return of David Haldane‘s Rubbish Man to the pages of the comic in an epic dose of silliness. Marc Riley‘s Harry the Head is back at full strength too in a full-page funny, Kev F Sutherland continues to dominate the monthlies, and Lew Stringer and Andy Roper team up for a superb spoof of a 60s Beano adventure strip. It’s definitely not to be missed, so plop back here on Sunday 17th September 2023 for OiNK #67, our penultimate issue no less!
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