ALiENS #1: STOP YOUR GRiNNiN’ AND DROP YOUR LiNEN

Off we go with the latest real time read through and this one is rather different than anything that’s been covered on the blog so far, being the first aimed at a mature audience. After licensing their Aliens comics to Trident in the UK, Dark Horse US decided to set up shop in London and print their strips in their own titles. Thus Dark Horse International was created. This was their first, and flagship, title.

I’ve already covered one of their comics. Jurassic Park not only adapted the movie into comic form it also contained the first ever official sequel to the film and book. Similarly, Dark Horse US’ Aliens continued the story of James Cameron’s amazing hit movie and lasted for decades, only coming to an end in recent years when Marvel rebooted it now that Disney owns both the comic publisher and 20th Century, the company behind the films.

As much as I do love the new Marvel series (it really is superb) I’ve been really excited to sink my teeth (just the one set) into these original stories. As explained in the introductory post I’m concentrating on the comics after Dark Horse International took over with Volume Two. At least for now. This is because these were the comics my friends collected at the time and the one I owned was part of this series too. So let’s get down to reliving it.

After John Bolton’s (Hellraiser, Man-Bat, The Evil Dead, and one of the first British artists to work on American comics) incredible, exclusive new front cover the editorial welcomes us to Dark Horse’s vision of what an Aliens comic should be, with Jurassic Park editor Dick Hansom given the title of ‘New Bug’. To place the comic in its time you can see Alien³’s release was imminent and in fact Dark Horse would publish a three-weekly, three-part (bit of a theme there) special series to commemorate. More on that movie as we go along.

So the first strip in the read through is Hive, part one of which takes up 20 pages. Altogether there are 52 pages with a good quality gloss cover and a matt stock inside, all in colour apart from the occasional advert. There’s also a 16-page Predator back up and a good selection of features, the overall format making it a very UK comic indeed. Let’s get started with Hive first of all. In the States each story was released as a mini-series whereas here they’d be printed in an ongoing comic, much like Jurassic Park. It opens with this scene-setting spread below.

This is the perfect opening for the first issue, feeling very much like the movie, complete with the heroine having a somewhat Sigourney Weaver-esque look. The Alien is brilliantly realised by Kelley Jones (The Sandman, Batman: Endgame, Micronauts), with Les Dorscheid’s (Dungeons & Dragons, Deadman, Nazz) muted colours adding to the atmosphere and Clem Robins‘(Amazing Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, Guardians of the Galaxy) letters. Of course in the film the Aliens are black, but conveying that in comic form can be difficult. Les’ use of colours here is inspired, fooling us into accepting this creature as black even though it has to be coloured differently for its details to stand out on the page.

Jerry Prosser’s (The Crow, Predator, editor on Sin City: A Dame to Kill For) story begins with Julian Lish trying to escape from an Alien in a scene that could’ve been lifted straight from the movie with its tight, dark corridors, motion tracking sensors and in the end the alien’s second jaw sliding out for the kill. That is, until an “Override Code” is announced over a loudspeaker and it just… stops.

This is Dr. Stan Mayakovsky and any initial confusion you might feel from this turn of events was echoed by me. That’s the whole point. He enters with his dog in tow who seems completely nonplussed with the H.R. Giger creation standing over them. What happens next continued the confusion as the dog drops their ball from their slobbery mouth and it rolls underneath the alien’s legs.

Didn’t expect that, did you? What with this bit of alien playfulness and our two human characters just standing next to it, even after it looked like Julian was about to be its victim, something is obviously amiss. (It hadn’t been released yet, but the dog in the original cut of Alien³ certainly didn’t get this treatment!) On the next page the alien sizes up to the professor, baring its teeth and hissing, my mind instantly remembering the accompanying scary sound from the films. Then it takes off down the corridor and… well…

I admit I laughed at this! And laughter is not something I thought this comic would produce a lot of. Yes, the film had its moments but those definitely didn’t come from the alien side of things. It does explain things though with its clearly robotic speech bubble. As ridiculous as it sounds to have a robotic alien in the story we must remember this is set in a future where completely convincing human androids also exist, so why not?

We get an insight into his addiction to a particular drug, a raw form of the slime produced by the aliens

The question is, why exactly has this thing been created? Not only that, but it’s being trained to hunt humans, or at the very least act convincingly like a killer. Called XL1, an out-of-breath Julian tells Stan it keeps getting better, that she’s struggling to stay ahead of it anymore, which pleases Stan immensely. However, Julian wonders what 10,000 of them would be like! It’s a terrifying thought and we know that the plans of greedy humans always lead to disaster in the film series. So what’s the reasoning?

It’s not clear yet if the professor works for the Weyland-Yutani Corporation from the films but we do get an insight into his addiction to a particular drug, a raw form of the slime (or “jelly” as it’s called here) produced by the aliens. It relieves his cancer symptoms and puts him into a sort of trance state where time slows down, his world goes blue and he revisits his memories of how he got to this point. It’s essentially a bit of exposition for the readers.

Having to buy the substance from drug dealers, he eventually met Julian and devised a plan to build an alien android to infiltrate a hive (that explains the reference to thousand of aliens and the title) and bring back the jelly. Stan is in it for himself, Julian appears to be in it for the money, and their mutual desire for the same outcome results in a passionate, mutually selfish love affair. Using the example of ants above and the aforementioned ability to make convincing androids, it’s an interesting set up for the first story in the comic series. There’s also a funny moment when Julian even suggests naming their alien ‘Norbert’!

In their ship The Dolomite they take a crew to a far-flung planet called A6 454 upon which humans have never set foot, and Stan and Julian stand up in front of their crew and ask for volunteers before showing them what they’re there for. As a bit of foreshadowing, revealing their android goes horribly wrong. Not that either seems to care.

I remember seeing scenes like this when I flicked through my friend’s Aliens comics as a teenager and being amazed it could show such images. I’d never seen anything like this in comics before. Anyway, Stan finally uses his override command to stop his android from continuing its killing spree and the final image of the strip has it holding another man’s head and looking directly at Stan. Whether this is where the original first part ended in the US comic or this is where the UK’s comic has cut it off is difficult to say, although the sudden end makes it feel more like the latter.

The first part of Hive is intriguing, full of atmosphere, has plenty of horrific moments and really sucked me into its world. It’s a fantastic start to the comic and this already has the potential to be an excellent read through. As a teen it was no wonder I loved the one issue I picked up if this is anything to go by. It would’ve shocked and scared me, and I would’ve been loving every page of it. Before moving on to the back up strip there’s a bit of news in The Motion Tracker segment and a middle-page spread about the making of Alien³.

I wonder if anyone actually went and rented The Commitments back then just to get a glimpse of the film? It’s interesting that there was a different direction for the film originally planned, so much so that a teaser was made. The Unnatural Selection spread isn’t the easiest to read but it does explain a lot of the infamous difficulties in making Alien³. I’m particularly interested in the various writers and script drafts and the evolution (hence the subtitle) of the story over the years before filming began. If this is an indication of the extras the comic will contain I can’t wait for future issues.

In case you’re wondering, the “Free Comic” on the cover is a sequel to Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons’ Give Me Liberty (which I’d never heard of until now despite it being a best seller) and nothing to do with the Aliens franchise. While the Predator movies would eventually cross over into the Aliens universe, at the time they had nothing to do with the franchise either. However, in comics they were always closely related and thus a perfect choice of back up strip.

Predator: Cold War is written by Mark Verheiden (Phantom, co-executive producer on Battlestar Galactica and Falling Skies), with pencils by Ron Randall (The Dreaming, Action Comics, Supergirl), inks by Steve Mitchell (Aquaman, Batman, G.I. Joe), colours by Chris Chalenor (Barb Wire, The Mask, Hieroglyph) and Rachelle Menashe (The Terminator, Icon, Virus), and letters are by Clem Robins again. Lieutenant Ligachev has been promoted by a General of her army just so he could send her to take charge of an oil field pumping station in the middle of the Siberian nowhere. When their equipment discovers large seismic activity accompanied by high levels of radiation they go to investigate, discovering the decapitated body of a local deer herder, strung up on a pole as if he’s on display, like an animal at the end of a successful hunt.

Soon they’re under attack by a Predator and, upon being hit and half buried in the snow, Ligachev can only watch as her young team are cut down one-by-one by this strange creature. Setting the beginning of the story in desolate ice fields adds a level of desperation to her plight but we soon find out she’s recounting it to a military tribunal who wants to send her back! 

If this is anything like Aliens then she’s probably being sent back out to face certain death in order for the government (rather than a private company) to get access to powerful weapons. As someone who has only ever seen the second movie a long, long time ago this plays out like a typical 80s monster movie, which is no bad thing of course. More interesting is how the rest of this 16-page chunk of the story tries hard to tie it in closer to the film series.

The American military have picked up on the weapons fire and automatically assumed the Soviets were test-firing nuclear weapons, so they reach out to General Philips. He was played by R.G. Armstrong in the first film although here he’s described as having something to do with the “business in New York last summer” and I’m not sure what that’s in reference to. After all, the first film was set in Central America and the second in Los Angeles.

A second character, a New York sheriff, is seen having flashbacks to being attacked by a Predator (while at the dentist no less, so double the horror!) so maybe it’s in reference to an earlier Predator comic, perhaps one printed in Trident’s first volume. Meanwhile, the general goes to meet a Detective Schaefer who turns out to be the brother of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character Dutch, still M.I.A. from the first film. As you can see he’s drawn as another version of Arnie and basically feels like a way of getting the big name star into the strip without actually doing so.

So far, as someone who knows next to nothing about Predator the opening scenes were exciting but the introduction of Schaefer feels a bit like the Jurassic Park comic’s own desperate attempt to get another character from the film into its sequel strip, when it reintroduced Robert Muldoon who had clearly been killed by the Velociraptors in the movie. I’ll not dwell. Going into the Predator strips essentially blind means I can just enjoy them for what they are.

Towards the rear of the comic are three pages detailing some of the weaponry used by the Colonial Marines in the Aliens movie. For fictional weapons the Technical Readout really does go into a lot of detail. If this is the beginning of the comic adding some background depth to not only itself but also the universe of the films then it’s another great start. These pages bring back exciting memories of their onscreen use, especially the M56 Smart Gun as used by Jenette Goldstein’s Vasquez character, decades before “smart” devices became the things to own.

Finally, just as in Jurassic Park (and many Marvel UK comics) we get a comics checklist, although at this stage Aliens was Dark Horse International’s only UK title so it focusses solely on the imported comics available in specialist comics shops. These weren’t as easily found at the time (Northern Ireland only had two such shops back then) so for most of us these were beyond our reach. It’ll be interesting to see this develop as the company settled (at least temporarily) into this part of the world.

With that we come to the end of the first issue and it’s off to a cracking start. The Aliens strip itself is fantastic and it hasn’t really got going yet, but the set up has plenty of potential for things to go horribly wrong for the cocky humans. Predator is also enjoyable and might be more so once I actually watch the films (which I now want to do, so that’s another good point) and the extras are interesting. Lots of potential here. This is a lengthy read through that’ll take us all the way to March 2026, so settle in and come back on Tuesday 23rd July 2024 for the next instalment.

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BARMY COMiX: DOWNLOAD DOLTS

Created by master of mirth Lew Stringer, Barmy Comix was released for free online in 2020 in response to a delay in the publication of his next Combat Colin comic due to Covid. Bringing some much needed cheer to a locked down world when access to new comics was impossible, it has 32 pages (or screens) of strips taken from various publications in the Lewniverse, including a nine-page preview of the next issue of Combat Colin.

That’s not all from the moronic militia man though. There’s a classic from the Transformers days, when Lew’s strips were at their height later in the run with Day of the Gunge, a strip I fondly remember reading first time around when I was a much smaller human. There’s also a full-colour adventure with Colin and Semi-Automatic Steve I hadn’t read before from the pages of Aces Weekly. This on its own is worth the price of entry. Not that there is any price, but you get my drift.

Loose Brayne, aka Brickman is in here too. It’s quite possibly the barmiest strip of the whole comic and that’s certainly saying something. The Brickman Meets The Mad Cobbler is classic Lew turned up to ten. I love the character of Albert and on the next page we see that it’s actually the big fancy house, Brayne Manor, that sits in a cave while Brickman’s supposedly secret lair is above ground for all to see.

This should give you some idea of the chaos to expect if you’ve never read a Brickman strip before. Set in “Pre-Holocaust Thatcherite Britain” it’s an ingenious mix of slapstick, social commentary and daft gags. It’s probably my favourite out of the whole issue. Saying that, there’s also a second story of his, Brickman and Trowel Meet Professor Deranged! Nothing subtle about the villain names in this comic.

Derek the Troll’s strip takes the form of one of those Make-Your-Own-Adventure books we had as kids (OiNK had its own version back in #5). Derek was originally created for role-playing magazine Warlock and that’s where this strip comes from. Lew has also released a comic reprinting all of Derek’s misadventures which I’ve already reviewed on the blog and (spoiler) enjoyed immensely.

Derek the Troll’s ‘orrible Troll-Playing Game is almost impossible to win, throwing a spanner in the works every time you think you’ve made the right decision, its curveballs and surprises keeping you laughing all the way to the end. There are also two full-colour strips of Derek’s from the short-lived digital comic Goof and he’s the star of one of the mini-posters scattered throughout Barmy Comix, ready to be printed out and Blu-Tac’ed to your wall if you’re feeling particularly nostalgic.

One creation of Lew’s I’d never heard of before reading this comic during the pandemic was Pedantic Stan the Comics Fan. Co-created with former Marvel UK editor and the utter gentleman behind comics news site Down the Tubes John Freeman, he was created for comic newspaper Speakeasy in the 1990s (an earlier edition of which has already appeared on the blog). Lew has also released the complete collection of Stan’s strips in a small, landscape format comic which was a hoot to read. It’s been a while since I’ve read it so it was fun to see his Full-Page Christmas Special again.

Also in here is a touching strip from the Undefeated Spirit of Hope book released in 2011 in the wake of the natural disasters in New Zealand and Japan of that year, finishing off the comic on the back page. Altogether this has reminded me of The Marvel Bumper Comic, which introduced me to comics and characters I hadn’t previously read among a mix of hugely enjoyable, hand-picked reprints of some of my favourites.

Barmy Comix was (and still is) free although Lew does ask fans if they could donate a small sum of £2.00 towards the creation of future comics in his range. This was particularly relevant during the pandemic but it’s such a small ask in return for the many laughs we get from each and every one of his publications. To download it just click on the link below to Lew’s own blog and please do remember to donate.

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ALiENS: iN REAL TiME

On my 15th birthday (21st December 1992) my mum and I sat down to watch the evening movie on UTV. I knew of the Alien films (there were only two at the time) but knew nothing about them, however Sigourney Weaver from Ghostbusters was in it so I was sold. It was on for an hour before breaking for 30 minutes to make way for the Ten O’Clock News, the cut off point being perfectly timed as they drove inside Hadley’s Hope.

It had built up for an hour and we were primed when the film returned to the air for what felt like an hour-long climax. I’d never seen anything like it and even my mum loved it, going along for the ride with Ripley, Newt and the rest. In school I raved about it and discovered some of my friends were huge fans, who then arranged a night for us to watch the Special Edition together with all of its cut scenes restored. Over the years I’d go on to watch the original and the sequels, but this one always remained my favourite and one of my favourite films of all time. (Ever since I’ve always checked the TV listings for a good movie on my birthday night. Nothing’s ever come close.)

I knew there was a UK comic at the time thanks to one of those friends. I flicked through some of their issues (which did look amazing) and saw adverts in my Jurassic Park comic but I never collected it myself, only buying one issue for a long train ride on a holiday in 1994. I remember being engrossed by it but then never seeing it anywhere after that. At that age my attention span soon drifted and that one issue was the only one I ever read. Until now.

While reading Jurassic Park for the blog I couldn’t help but notice the promotions for Dark Horse International’s Aliens and it got me thinking about covering it. However, upon researching to see how much there was to collect I noticed Dark Horse only produced volume two, the first was published by Trident who I’d never heard of before. I picked up an issue of Trident’s but it was a very different beast and not what I remembered at all.

I may eventually go back and collect those issues but for now I’m concentrating solely on Dark Horse’s volume, which began in the summer of 1992. There are more issues than volume one, on the surface it seems to be a lot more professionally put together and it contains features beyond the comic strips. But most of all it includes the issue I bought as a teen and so it’s this version I want to relive and rediscover as an adult. That’s the whole point of the blog after all.

Apart from flicking through each issue just to check page numbers and ensure everything is there (I haven’t read anything) I did notice the cover art is simply wonderful on each and every one of them. I mean properly stunning. If this is an indicator of what I can expect from this comic then I can’t wait to get stuck in. Speaking of the covers, I had a vague recollection of the one I’d bought many years ago, and when I was eventually able to collect them all I instantly recognised it. As it turns out it had been the last issue before Dark Horse International went out of business. No wonder I never saw any more on the shelves.

Firstly though, Dark Horse produced one final issue to volume one, which included a specially commissioned cover from sculptor Chris Halls, who had worked on the then-yet-to-be-released Alien³, and inside are a selection of short stories to round everything off for a new start the following month. I haven’t included it in this read through so it’ll be a fun way of ending volume one if I get around to it. It explained to readers what was happening with the change of publisher and included an atmospheric back page with the new tagline for Volume Two: “This Time It’s War!”

As for what you’ll see in this real time read through, there are 22 monthly issues plus a special three-part Alien³ series, published every three weeks. These will make for a meaty read through of 25 issues for you and I both to enjoy. Some of them have their free gifts intact and there are even two Christmas issues! Well, there are two Christmas covers anyway, I doubt there are festive tales inside but I’m still thrilled with the fact an Aliens comic marks the festive season at all. (If you’re new to the blog, I’m a bit of a Christmas nut.)

What else do I know before I go in blind to this series? Well, the accompanying mini-series is a bit of a giveaway but there’ll be plenty of coverage of the third film as I see it mentioned on a lot of the covers. It wasn’t brilliantly received at the time by fans but I always enjoyed it. However, in recent years a Special Edition has been released and it’s a completely different film. It’s superb! In fact, this version is very much the one that should’ve been released at the time but for studio interference. I’d place it right up next to Aliens, that’s how good I think it is nowadays. So it’ll be interesting to see how the comic and its readers (there’s a letters page) spoke of it at the time, unaware of all of this.

The Predator seems to feature quite heavily too. The two franchises hadn’t met at this stage but they were always destined to and the editorial in Volume 1 #17 hyped up the return of the alien hunters in issues to come. I’ve only ever seen the second movie in that particular franchise so I wonder if the comic strips will make me want to go back and get caught up with those too.

I’m always excited to get stuck into a new real time read through and I feel extra excited this time. That one issue decades ago left such an impression on me, and it’s just so different to anything else covered thus far. I’m also collecting the new Marvel Aliens comics and they’re fantastic so that’s adding to my hype. Jurassic Park finally has some company in the Dark Horse International menu too.

The first issue of Aliens will face hug the blog on Tuesday 18th June 2024.

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DEATH’S HEAD 8: DOCTOR… WHAT?!

As I collected Death’s Head’s comic for the blog I couldn’t help but notice the covers for the final three issues all prominently displayed characters from other publications. Crossovers were usually an event and used sparingly in my comics as a kid so my initial reaction to seeing these was that they were really, really trying to get a bigger audience for the comic, which made me think sales weren’t great. A bit of a leap perhaps, but three crossovers in a row?

This issue we see the Seventh Doctor (as played by Sylvester McCoy on TV) guest star after our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent first appeared in Doctor Who Magazine and ended up reduced to human size by the time-traveling alien. It’s clear from the cover and the editorial inside that the opportunity for revenge has presented itself and Death’s Head intends to follow it through. But first, a surprise in the credits!

Unlike all previous issues, which were written by the character’s co-creator Simon Furman, this chapter is written by Steve Parkhouse (Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Bojeffries Saga, Doctor Who – unsurprisingly) who also inks Art Wetherell’s (Transformers, The Incredible Hulk Presents, Sheena Queen of the Jungle) pencils. Annie Halfacree letters and Louise Cassell colours a strip that feels very different than usual. Plus, Steve White (editor of Visionaries, colourist on Jurassic Park) takes over as editor after Richard Starkings had resigned.

The plot involves Josiah W. Dogbolter, a character of Steve Parkhouse’s and Steve Dillon‘s from DWM in the Fifth Doctor days, whose company wants to make money out of time travel by privatising it. How could time travel be privatised? In the 80s we thought the same thing about water and the railways. This is clearly taking a dig at Margaret Thatcher’s government of the time, something Simon’s Dragon’s Claws was very good at. It’s nice to see this kind of satire make its way into the more comedy-focussed title.

Dogbolter finishes his speech to his shareholders and the press with the phrase, “Time IS money!!” and I have to hand it to him for that one. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the businessman has had previous run-ins with The Doctor and that’s why he’s wanting to control the very essence of time travel. The first panel above sums up the entirety of the plot for this issue, found on the second page.

This comic could never be accused of having intricate plot lines, usually they’re just a means to an end. But when those ends are so full of character, action and laughs, when they’re so enjoyable, they do the job. This issue is no exception. Hob is Dogbolter’s robotic assistant and is sent out (in delivery boy uniform no less) to hire Death’s Head for an assassination attempt on The Doctor. Needless to say, he accepts the job.


“Poot? This is some Time Machine, yes?”

Death’s Head


What he doesn’t know is that Dogbolter was looking for “a skilled assassin who’s not only spectacularly stupid, but psychotically aggressive, amoral, and lacking any kind of imagination whatsoever” and Hob’s conclusion was to approach our lead character. It becomes apparent later in the strip why his boss was looking for someone with these particular traits. But first, on a dark and stormy post-apocalyptic night in a future Los Angeles, the powerful time travelling device gets strapped to Death’s Head and he dramatically sets off. Well, sort of.

It’s not exactly the TARDIS. A fun segment takes Death’s Head through various points in time before he’s able to find The Doctor. First of all he lands in an English parish in 1646. Leaving just moments later it was enough for the poor woman whose garden he appeared in to be sentenced to death for summoning a demon. Two huge shoed footprints are uncovered by archaeologists digging for Triassic period fossils and then he appears in front of a German tank during World War II!

Lots of laughs later we see The Doctor is also attempting to make an audience smile as he plays a court jester in a panto taking place in front of tourists on an English seaside pier. I have no idea why this is, perhaps it ties into a story in Doctor Who Magazine at the time. A loud noise from behind him sends the audience into the usual pantomime chant of “He’s behind you”, to which The Doctor naturally replies, “Oh not he isn’t”, leading to this next page.

That’s an entrance. Using some panto clichés, namely pulling a lever to open a trap door under Death’s Head and then escaping as one half of a pantomime horse (no, really), The Doctor makes his way back to the TARDIS and scarpers to another time and place. This really is all rather ridiculous, even for the far-fetched nature of this comic but then again we have to remember this was published during 80s Doctor Who.

I have a real fondness for Sylvester’s Doctor. He was my first but I didn’t start watching until the beginning of his second season (with the phenomenal Remembrance of the Daleks) when he became a darker and more mysterious character, often instigating the plot rather than reacting to an injustice. But when this comic was written only his first season had been broadcast in which he was much more of a clown, fumbling his way through time while playing the spoons!

This explains a lot about his actions in Time Bomb, and especially the ludicrous escape he’s just made. 

So he may not feel like my Doctor but it’s still an entertaining strip. Death’s Head is able to somehow materialise inside the TARDIS (this is never explained) direct from the sea he’d plunged into under the pier. An alarm sounds and soon he finds out he’s been double-crossed. Dogbolter not only ensured The Doctor would be killed but that there wouldn’t be any witnesses to tie things back to him.

Over the next couple of pages we see Death’s Head and The Doctor work together as much as they ever will, not exactly with each other but they have a mutual wish to survive and that’s enough for now. They lock on to the source of the signal and materialise on top of Intra-Venus Inc.’s (brilliant name) roof, much to Dogbolter’s chagrin. As he heads to the sub-basement shelter, inside the TARDIS Death’s Head tries to convince The Doctor to blast the straps of the machine off his back.

The patter between these two is very good. Death’s Head explains he never learned how to worry but that The Doctor is about to be blown up and end up in hell, so he tells him he’d better get to work. Using something called a Piklok (a new invention, but why not the Sonic Screwdriver?) he manages to unstrap the time machine while elsewhere Dogbolter has lost his ID card and can’t get off the elevator in time to escape before this next page.

I have an issue with this. A big one. It’s been established the time machine is nuclear-powered, so why did The Doctor not dispose of it in deep, dark space? Why bring it back to Earth? The size of the explosion is meant to indicate the end of Dogbolter and his company, but that would also include everyone else in that building and at the very least the surrounding buildings too! The Doctor would never put innocent human lives at risk, never mind actually blowing them to bits!

Back in Doctor Who Magazine #135 he also put Earth at risk by dropping Death’s Head off here, even though he acknowledged how dangerous that would be for his favourite planet. It’s not like the Seventh Doctor had it in for us humans, he held the same morals as all the rest, including the modern day incarnations (if you’re unfamiliar with the classic series). It’s a huge sticking point for me and kind of ruins the end of a fun story.

With this in mind it’s quite galling of The Doctor to then try to lecture our mechanoid anti-hero on his behaviour. Death’s Head’s response is funny though, I’ll give the strip that. The Doctor tells him that humans can evolve and change their evil ways, which Death’s Head simply describes as falling apart. After all, he’s programmed, and metal; if he changes from that then he’s literally falling apart. It’s black and white to him.


“A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead.”

Death’s Head

As The Doctor leaves he tells Death’s Head that he’s doomed, that in a thousand years people will be different be he’ll still be the same. “A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead”, he retorts. There’s no use in trying to push it, so as the TARDIS doors close he’s told he’s just a machine, a tool, one that nobody truly needs. Death’s Head muses that The Doctor is probably right, but then realises he doesn’t care; he’s home and ready to earn money again.

The final few panels pull back to reveal a not-so-subtle hint of who will be guest starring in #9. Anyone unsure (as I would’ve been at the time if I’d been reading this as a kid, I wasn’t a superhero comic reader), the answer to the final letter on the Head To Head page gives the game away not only for the next issue but the final one beyond that.

Then again, what’s the point in crossovers if you can’t market the hell out of them in advance to try to increase sales, yes?

I really enjoyed this story but that explosive ending bugs me. I don’t mean to dwell but as a fan of Doctor Who it’s just so out of character, so out of sync with what the series stands for, that I can’t let it go. I know nothing about The Fantastic Four so if they suffer the same fate I’ll be none the wiser. We’ll see how Death’s Head fares with four super-powered humans in #9, so watch out for the review on Monday 1st July 2024.

iSSUE SEVEN < > iSSUE NiNE

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G.i. JOE COMPENDiUM SET: KiCKSTARTER COMPLETED

iT’S ARRiVED!!
~ NEW POST NOW UP ~

Below is the original post I wrote when this Kickstarter project launched. It was successful and then some! To find out just how record-breaking it’s turned out to be keep reading to the very end for an update.

Readers of the blog, and in particular the blog’s Instagram account, will know how much I love Larry Hama’s G.I. Joe comic. Skybound Entertainment and Image have the current rights to produce comics based on the Hasbro toy line and alongside their own monthlies they’ve decided to release all of the original, epic Marvel run in a huge, gorgeous box set, including the American Transformers crossover mini-series and of course the later story that kicked off Transformers: Generation 2.

I became acquainted with Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Stalker, Baroness and the rest when they appeared as back up strips in Marvel UK’s Transformers weekly in the 80s and 90s (initially known as Action Force here) and I instantly loved every single one of the characters. Many years later IDW decided to continue Marvel US’s story and produced #156 to #300 before the licence transferred to Skybound/Image. Now, G.I. Joe – A Real American Hero continues anew from #301 onwards, and still with Larry at the helm!

Recently Skybound announced a box set of the original comics would be coming to Kickstarter. It launched on Tuesday 28th May 2024 with a goal of $50,000 (£39,213). It was fully funded in a staggering six minutes and in a little over 24 hours it rocketed past (I’ll put on my best Dr. Evil voice here) one million dollars, making it the most successful first day ever for comics Kickstarter. At the time of publishing this post about half a day later it’s now sitting at $1,214,849/£956,938, pledged by 3,332 people. That’s just phenomenal! (Final amount now updated at the bottom of this post – Phil) As a fan I feel really rather proud of the fanbase, and it’s reassuring that this most likely means the monthly is also selling well enough to last for many years to come.

I not only wanted to let you know about the Kickstarter in case you’re a fan too and wish to pledge, I also intend to show it off to you when I receive it and give you updates as we go. Yes that’s right, I’ve pledged and bought the set! I’ll admit it’s an expensive piece of kit but when broken down into the cost per issue it’s not really. Plus, given the trouble I’ve had trying to get a hold of these classic tales it’s great to buy them all in one go and just be able to look forward to them at last.

By the time I found out IDW were continuing the original Marvel stories their run was already at #250. I collected it for a few years before I stopped buying new comics for a while, but in that time my local comic shop tried everything they could to order in the graphic novel collection of the older stories. Unfortunately Diamond, the international distributors, would often send the wrong volume or a book from the wrong series! I ended up with volumes 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 13!

So I couldn’t read past volume three and no more books ever arrived. When Skybound/Image took over I crossed my fingers they’d have their own graphic novel series but this is so much better! The individual compendiums will eventually be available in soft back formats in comic shops but for now this is the only way to get your hands on them, and they’re all hardback and inside lovely glossy display boxes.

On the Kickstarter you can order either a Joes or Cobra version of the whole set ($300/£235) or the first compendium on its own ($75/£59) to which you can add the softcovers when they’re available. There are also the obligatory digital versions and a wealth of extras such as trading cards and comics signed by Larry (well, there were when I wrote the first draft of this post but they’ve now sold out). There are also stretch goals quickly being unlocked such as a gloss finish to the box fronts (illustrations on both by Andy Hubert and Brad Anderson), bookmarks, posters and more.

Personally I’ve splashed out on the Joes version of the complete set which works out at about £1.19 per issue, plus of course I’ll be getting them in these gorgeous hardback books with all the presentation and extras. It may be a lot to fork out in one go, but even when they were available the IDW graphic novels would’ve cost a good bit more in total, and the original comics go for ludicrous amounts on eBay so this is an absolute bargain in my eyes.

If you’re interested in pledging yourself or simply wish to find out more about what is very likely to be an incredible purchase, you can check out the official Kickstarter page for G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Compendium Set (link below). I’ll update you all further after the project finishes raising funds. It’s scheduled to end on Wednesday 26th June 2024 so a day or two after that I’ll get something posted up.

Yo Joe!

UPDATE: Not only did Skybound’s G.I. Joe Kickstarter pass its goal in six minutes, it also became THE MOST SUCCESSFUL COMICS KICKSTARTER EVER! That’s right, it broke all previous records and raised a staggering $3,734,499 (£2,956,812) from 10,335 backers! That’s 7,468% of the original goal! This is insane. I couldn’t be happier that something I backed was so successful, and as a result of crushing over 20 stretch goals a wealth of free extras will be accompanying my box set when it eventually arrives. On a related note, this bodes very well for both Skybound/Image’s hugely entertaining G.I. Joe/Transformers reboot series of comics, the Energon Universe, and also their continuation of G.I. Joe A Real American Hero. With this level of support I’m sure they’ll continue for many years to come!

I’ll keep you updated as I receive news of the box set and of course I’ll be showing it off to you when it arrives, scheduled at the minute for the end of this year in America and early 2025 for the rest of us.

iT’S ARRiVED! CHECK iT OUT HERE

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THE PiGGiN’ GREAT SHAUN THE SHEEP!

On this day back in 2010 the 30th episode of season two of Shaun the Sheep was broadcast by the BBC. Based on characters created by the legendary Nick Park, (spun off from a one-off appearance in a Wallace & Gromit special) the incredibly successful Aardman Animation series was created by Richard Starzak and developed by him, Alison Snowden and David Fine. What they developed was a genuinely funny silent comedy series adults get as much of a kick out of as the kids do. Even so, I didn’t discover it myself until a Christmas special many years later.

Now part of my yearly festivities, I was sore from laughing so much the first (and subsequent times) watching it and went on to view the two full-length movies and several of the regular episodes. Now, after the announcement of a long-awaited new series in 2025, the OiNK Blog is taking a close look at one episode in particular, called The Big Chase. Why has Shaun appeared on the blog? It can’t just be because there are pigs involved. Here’s a hint.

That’s right, that’s co-creator and co-editor of OiNK, Patrick Gallagher. He and fellow writer Craig Ferguson created what is a fan favourite episode to this day and one which encapsulates the madcap hilarity perfectly. To mark the 14th anniversary of its original broadcast I asked Patrick about writing the story and working on the series and his insights make for great reading.

If you’re unfamiliar with Shaun, he’s what’s described as “an unusually clever sheep” who tries to bring a bit of fun and excitement to the mundane daily life on Mossy Bottom Farm (a name which wouldn’t have felt out of place in OiNK). This usually results in lots of frantic slapstick involving Shaun and all of the ensemble cast of sheep, as well as sheepdog Bitzer (my personal favourite) and the dimwitted and completely unaware human, The Farmer. While Bitzer is constantly trying to keep the sheep in line, the friendship he and Shaun share when things go horribly wrong is one of the highlights.

The Big Chase revolves around young Timmy going for a joyride on The Farmer’s expensive new quad bike and the panicked flock giving chase in everything from a tractor to a shopping cart. It’s up to Shaun and Bitzer to rescue Timmy and get everyone back to the farm before they’re discovered, which they do by commandeering a pizza delivery driver’s scooter. So far, so utterly brilliant!

The episode also involves three joyriding pigs, whose car comes complete with an appropriate licence plate for this blog, and a little old lady who nearly gets knocked down several times before she has her wooly hat taken in the chaos. She joins the pigs to chase down Shaun and Bitzer while Timmy and the flock inadvertently run riot.

OiNK Blog: So Patrick, how did you become involved in the series for this episode?

Patrick Gallagher: “The offer of a commission came totally out of the blue, actually. Following the broadcast of the phenomenally successful debut series in 2007, and with the world clamouring for more farmyard frolics from Shaun and the flock, Aardman Animation approached my agent, Dominic Lord at JFL, and invited Craig and me to pitch ideas for the upcoming second series. It was a big surprise, a tremendous honour and an offer Craig and I couldn’t refuse. We had previously collaborated on several high-profile TV shows, including Spitting Image, The Russ Abbot Show and The Basil Brush Show.


“The Naughty Pigs who antagonise the sheep at any given opportunity could inexplicably turn up in their own ‘chavmobile’.”

Patrick Gallagher

“Furthermore, as a co-creator, I had Round the Bend under my belt and was also involved in co-developing Hangar 17. Therefore, writing for Shaun the Sheep would be a much-welcomed addition to our portfolios. The idea Aardman chose to commission out of the handful we submitted was The Big Chase, in which Timmy the baby sheep drives off on the Farmer’s brand new quad bike, sparking a whirlwind of uproarious chaos.

“However, there was a long wait before we got the green light. It was over a year before Aardman’s Development Executive, Dick Hansom (editor of blog comics Jurassic Park and the forthcoming Aliens! – Phil), wrote with the good news. He explained that the delay was due to the expense of making the quad bike, which they had to balance out with cheaper episodes, and eventually did.”

OB: The quad bike does look great but to have this little insight into the decision making because of it is interesting. They must’ve really liked your script. You co-wrote it with Craig, but given how central pigs are to the plot, would I be correct in assuming they were your idea?

PG: “Not entirely; it was a joint decision. We had free rein to use any of the Shaun the Sheep characters, and Craig and I agreed that The Naughty Pigs, who antagonise the sheep at any given opportunity and could inexplicably turn up in their own ‘chavmobile’, would be the perfect foils to instigate mayhem and hilarity in our vehicular-themed episode.”

OB: How appropriate! Can you give us a little insight into what it was like to work on the show for Aardman? And did you ever get to visit the studio and see it being animated? Did the finished product stray from your script or remain close to it?

PG: “It was an absolute dream to work on the show. I’d been a big fan of Aardman since 1977 when I first saw Morph, their claymation character which I loved, on CBBC‘s Take Hart. But Craig and I had to be on top form, as it would demand a lot of hard work and expectations were stratospheric. Shaun first appeared in Aardman’s Academy Award-winning film, A Close Shave. Therefore, the bar for the writing of the TV series had already been set high – literally – to Hollywood standards.


“I found it quite refreshing to focus solely on the action and dismiss any dialogue, in the fashion of writing a silent movie.”

Patrick Gallagher

“Not that we needed reminding, but as we presented our concept to the producer, Gareth Owen at Aardman’s Bristol studio, the gleaming golden Oscar statuette perched behind him caught my eye. And with its shimmer, I could have sworn it whispered, “Time to shine, boys!” But that meeting was the only time we visited the studio. The final produced show remained really close to our original script; however, we expected tweaks since we overwrote the episode by a couple of minutes. Moreover, we would naturally welcome any supplementary changes by Aardman, as they would only enhance the production further.

“On a more specific writing note, we adhered to the three-act structure for the seven-minute episode. The main plot centred on Shaun and the flock chasing after Timmy and their attempts to get him off the quad bike and back to the farm safely before the farmer found out. And the subplot revolved around the old lady’s efforts to retrieve her hat, which had bizarrely become caught up in the chase along with the naughty pigs as she tried to cross the road.”

OB: It all seems so chaotic when watching it, with more and more layers of comedic situations being added on top. It’s really quite a genius piece of writing, and the animation is just absolutely incredible. How difficult (or not) was it to write comedy for a show where there’s no speech whatsoever? Did your background in the visual comics medium help?

PG: “Personally, I found it quite refreshing to focus solely on the action and dismiss any dialogue, in the fashion of writing a silent movie. But overall, I’d say it was as equally challenging to write it without dialogue as it would have been with dialogue. Either way, we still had seven minutes to fill. And yes, I do think my background in comics helped, as I’ve always thought visually and storyboarded my comic scripts for Buster, Whizzer and Chips, OiNK and all the other Fleetway titles I cut my teeth on.”

OB: Should OiNK pig pals see this episode, at least parts of it and especially that licence plate, as a bit of a homage?

PG: “For my part, most definitely. Although the idea of the pigs’ ‘chavmobile’ licence plate reading ‘OI NK 5’ wasn’t scripted by Craig and me. It was the animators who came up with that notion, so it was just coincidental. Or perhaps, more probably, it was a case of serendipity at play, orchestrated psychically by Uncle Pigg from his tropical retirement island.”

OB: Thanks for your insights, Patrick. It’s a perfect seven minutes of unadulterated laughs. Is there anything else about it that you’d like to share with us?

PG: “Yes, just a couple of things. It was brilliant to be associated once again with the ridiculously talented Dave Alex Riddett, the lighting cameraman for The Big Chase. Dave was the genius animator who, 21 years earlier, had been responsible for producing Round the Bend’s iconic stop-motion serials The False Teeth from Beyond the Stars and Attack of the Atomic Banana, which I had written with my dearly departed co-writers Tony Husband and Mark Rodgers. On top of that, Dave was the cinematographer on the Oscar-winning A Close Shave, so we knew that our episode was in the safest of hands before it was broadcast globally.”

PG: “In terms of figures, the series is seen in 170 territories throughout the world but it’s difficult to estimate how many people have watched it. However, according to YouTube, Shaun has amassed 1.7 billion views on their platform alone. Also, in 2010 following its broadcast Shaun the Sheep Series 2, which included our episode, was honoured with three distinguished awards: The Writers’ Guild Award for Best Children’s Television Drama/Comedy, The BAFTA Children’s Award for Best Animation and The International Emmy Award for Best Children and Young People’s Programme.

“And finally, the crowning achievement for Craig and me came in 2011 when a compilation DVD was released featuring eight standout episodes from the second series, including ours. The highlight? The DVD was titled The Big Chase, and our eponymous episode topped the bill as the lead show in the collection… from that very series that swept the board at the 2010 awards ceremonies.”

Blimey. My thanks to Patrick for chatting with me about this particular highlight of his illustrious career. As a viewer Shaun more than deserves all of the praise and awards bestowed upon him. This episode in particular showcases the incredible comic timing of the animators, surely no easy task when animating modelling clay frame by frame. An amazing achievement and I for one am looking forward to the new series. In the meantime there are 159 episodes over six series to catch up on first!

There are also the specials of course, including The Flight Before Christmas which must be watched by everyone during the next festive season after you read this! I know I will be. Again.

Click here to watch The Big Chase on the BBC iPlayer

The Flight Before Christmas is on Netflix. Shown on the BBC every year, keep an eye on the blog’s socials for news of when it pops up on the iPlayer too.

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G.I. JOE #138: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

I do love it when I get to start a brand new real time read through and this is one I’ve been particularly looking forward to. Not only have I never read Transformers: Generation 2 before (and as usual I’ll be discovering it one month at a time and telling you about it as I do) but the story actually kicked off in a special crossover event in the pages of another favourite comic, G.I. Joe.

I discovered the Joes and Cobra when they were known as Action Force in the UK in their position as back up strip in Transformers, after their own weekly was cancelled. When reading their adventures as part of that read through on the blog’s Instagram I became a huge fan all over again, collected some of IDW’s continuation and am now a dedicated reader of the same comic under the stewardship of Image Comics.

In case you didn’t know, this actual comic continues to this day and it’s still being written by Larry Hama! So going back to read these issues is extra exciting for me because they’re earlier stories of the new comic I’m reading today. Regarding that title on the cover, the Ninja Force were a sub-section of both sides of the conflict and a new range of Hasbro toys at the time. With Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow as the main characters the comic’s name was temporarily changed to promote the range.

Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville

That secondary title would be replaced with ‘and Transformers: Generation 2’ from the next issue and initially I thought that was where I’d begin with the four-part story between #139 and #142. But this issue was also in the bundle of comics I purchased from eBay and a quick flick through it showed me why. You’ll see why, so let’s begin.

Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman (also on cover duties) on pencils and Stephen Baskerville on inks, now in this American comic. Together they produced some incredible art for the original Transformers towards the end of its run. Andrew is best know for his Transformers, The Real Ghostbusters and G.I. Joe work, while it’s the former two and 2000AD for Stephen. The art is completed with letters by Rick Parker (Spider-Man, Time magazine, Tales From the Crypt) and colours by Bob Sharen (Alpha Flight, Ghost Rider, Invincible Iron Man), both of whose work I recognise from those earlier back up strips.


“I want that uxorious chrome-visaged twit and his xanthippic consort winkled out like the limeceous bivalves they are!”

Cobra Commander

So I immediately felt right at home. Things begin with one of my favourite characters, Scarlett going through a mental crisis. She’s apparently defected to Cobra although in reality this is just an undercover mission. However, she believes her actions led to the death of Hawk and Stalker, however they survived whatever transpired in previous issues. She just doesn’t know this yet.

Obviously I haven’t read the chapters leading up to this so I can only tell you what happens here. In a nutshell Destro and Baroness are trying to escape from Cobra with the aid of G.I. Joe (a separate story from Scarlett’s). The action takes place inside a tall fortress of Destro’s design that can shift its shape into different defensive and offensive configurations. Destro also included secret crawlspaces behind the walls, where they are currently hiding. However, these have now been discovered, a hole has been blown in a wall and Cobra Commander has sent his troops in to capture them.

At this point in the story it seems Cobra Commander has a… unique use of language. Throughout this issue he seems to use half a dozen words when one would suffice. It adds to his superiority complex and I enjoy it. Only Larry could carry these lengthy speech balloons off in the heat of the action. We also see Destro’s use of cool 80s tech from within his metallic face mask that I hadn’t seen before and we find out just how dedicated the Joes need to be to Scarlett’s mission.

Despite Scarlett and Snake Eyes being very much in love, he and Storm Shadow must treat her like any other Cobra enemy if she’s to remain alive. It’s a fine balancing act that leads to a shocking moment later in the issue. (If you’re wondering, “Xin-loi” is a phrase used during the Vietnam war and roughly translates as “tough luck”, albeit a more vulgar version.) Once inside the crawlspaces, laden with boobie traps, Larry shows he’s still not afraid to kill people in glorious fashion in this children’s comic, something the cartoon couldn’t do.

Storm Shadow and the ever-silent Snake Eyes skilfully parachute in on top of the transforming building and we can see how it’s whole form is shifting about, taking care of many of the Cobra grunts as it does so. I’ve searched online and I can’t find evidence of this strange castle being a toy in the original range but I’m happy to be proven wrong if any readers can point me in the right direction.

I’ve seen some wonderful fan-made models of it though, complete right down to the colour of the stone and the ability to alter its shape. It’s this shape altering that brings us to the first shock of the issue, at least for anyone who had been reading this in 1993 and especially those who had been fans of Marvel’s other popular licenced monthly from a few years previous. As the building continues to change it’s caught the attention of an outside force.

Many fans of Transformers were also fans of G.I. Joe (and this continues to be the case today, like me for example) so imagine the impact that page would’ve had as they’d been reading what is already an exciting climax to a story. That’s just a tiny glimpse, one that perhaps those not au fait with the Transformers wouldn’t have fully grasped, but I’m sure the majority were thrilled. I wish I hadn’t flicked through the issue when I first got it as part of my eBay bundle, I’d loved to have been surprised by this.

Back to that story though and the plan will be familiar to those who have seen The Dark Knight (as one example). To extract Destro and Baroness they’re fastened to Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, and long wires with balloons on the end are attached to the ninjas. The balloons are inflated and travel far up into the night sky where planes grab the wires and haul all four of them off the ground at high speed.

Imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming

But what Snake Eyes didn’t reckon on was Scarlett being part of the Cobra team sent to return Destro to Cobra Commander. They come into contact with each other on the roof of the castle. Quite literally! Now remember, Snake was ordered by Hawk to treat Scarlett as if she were any other enemy so as not to blow her cover. What happens as a result is truly the most shocking moment of the issue.

This shocked me even though I know Scarlett is in the modern comic! I can only imagine what impact this page would’ve had decades ago. A few pages later though, this moment proves to be cathartic for Scarlett. Slice, a member of Cobra who is suspicious of her still isn’t convinced despite seeing it happen, even though Dr. Biggles-Jones declares Snake trying to kill her is clear proof of her loyalty.

However, back on board the Joes’ plane Storm Shadow explains Snake had to do the near-impossible; he had a split second to make it convincing and at the same moment make sure his aim was “pure”. It had to be so, so close. Hawk tries to sooth Snake’s obvious anxiety by telling him Scarlett of all people knows how good he is, she knows he never misses “except on purpose”, that even if she still believes she was responsible for Hawk’s and Stalker’s supposed deaths she “now knows that you couldn’t hold it against her!”

Back at the now-stationery castle Scarlet is in incredible agony, yet has a smile beneath all the tears and is just about able to utter the words “I know” before passing out. Amongst all of the action, whether that be the ninja-based, sci-fi or war storylines the comic flipped between, Larry’s characters have always been fully formed, grounded and believable, even when their very existence is far fetched. Decades of writing them hasn’t blunted any of that expertise either.

The panels above form the bottom half of the penultimate page of the strip, with Cobra Commander’s cold reaction to Slice’s request to gut Scarlett, to see how the Joes react as a final test of her loyalty. Then a huge shadow falls over the group. The terrorists looks up in horror. And we turn the page.

What an ending! Again, imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming. Especially with Andrew and Stephen’s familiar superb work on Megatron! The last time we saw ol’ Megs was in the final UK annual released for Christmas 1991. The Decepticons were trying to use the unstable nucleon (which had had unexpected side effects on some Transformers) to resurrect their fallen leader, recently separated from the body he shared with Autobot Ratchet before The Ark was blown up and crash landed on Earth.

Here he looks suitably patchy, with wires hanging out of battered parts of his body. I knew this was coming but it was still a thrill to read this page as the end of this story. I’m super hyped to get stuck into the next four issues of G.I. Joe and even more so for the 12 issues of Transformers: Generation 2 to come after that! Simon Furman writing that forthcoming series and having these robotic characters resurrected by Larry Hama is going to be something special if this small preview story (as it is for me) is anything to go by.

Before we wrap up, a quick look at a couple of contemporary adverts from the issue. First up, a movie that has been derided in the years since but which I still enjoy. Super Mario Bros was a flop (and the recent animation knocks it out of the park) but it’s a zany, ridiculous and oh-so-90s film that’s completely unique. I have the BluRay and the documentary tells a fascinating tale about its creation. Apparently the original script was great, aimed at a teenage-and-up audience and the cast were very happy with it (as were Nintendo). But just a few days before shooting was to commence the studio produced a new, more child-friendly script that threw everything out that had been created before, so its directors had to shoot something they didn’t like while using all of the sets and effects created for the previous script!

In the documentary John Leguizamo explains how they made the most of such a horrid situation and to me it’s a miracle any movie got made. As much as I enjoy the silliness of the end result, I can’t help but wonder what this talented cast could’ve done without the interference of studio executives who didn’t understand the original source material. Oh well.

Another ad that stood out (among the many, many adverts in the comic that often interrupted the strip on every other page) was for classic video game Flashback. I remember seeing friends play it on their Commodore Amigas and it looked stunning in a demo for my own 3DO but I never played it myself. Well, as it turns out it’s been rereleased for the Nintendo Switch so after seeing this ad I just had to break out the wallet.

It’s a great start to this latest real time read through and for all intents and purposes it’s not even the beginning yet, that’ll come next month with the actual first part of the G.I. Joe and Transformers: Generation 2 storyline by Larry Hama. It seems suitably timely with a crossover movie coming to our screens in the not-too-distant future. Be sure to check back on Sunday 30th June 2024 for the next/first chapter.

GO TO iSSUE 139

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PiTCHiNG TO PiGLETS PART TWO: FOOD & DRiNK

I’ve really been looking forward to diving back into this occasional series of posts in which we take a look at all of the real advertisements published in OiNK between April 1986 and April 1990. Still to come are adverts for comics and toys amongst other things, however in a surprise turn it was seeing the adverts for all of the food and drink of the 80s that really transported me back in time.

There were plenty of them in OiNK too, far too many to include in one post, so I’ve whittled them down to 11 of my favourites, all for things I’d have happily chomped down on or guzzled back when I was a kid. Well, there’s one exception to that and as you scroll I’m sure you’ll be able to guess which one. Some of these are no longer available, but even for those that are their adverts are so quintessentially 80s they just had to be included. So let’s get things started with some breakfast, shall we?

I remember those adverts on TV with kids walking down the street with a superimposed red glow around them after eating their bowls of hot, filling Ready Brek, advertised here in #52 from February 1988. I did like that cereal, although I preferred my mum’s huge pots of porridge she’d rustle up. I don’t know about you, but I think a list of ’50 Brill Things To Do Before Breakfast’ would’ve been wasted on me. Getting out of bed and washed and fed was enough to do before school!


“Get yours before the special multipacks dematerialise!”

Golden Wonder crisps

The Bean St. Kids (#39, October 1987) had animated cartoon adverts on TV I seem to recall, complete with cackling villain, but the tins sold themselves. I know we’re told our tastebuds change as we age, so either mine really have or those tins of mini sausages have changed, because as an adult I think they’re completely vile! I tried one of those ‘All-Day Breakfasts’ in a tin of beans and my word, never again. But as a child I loved them, especially with crispy bacon and eggs for breakfast at the weekend.

As our day in the 80s continues it’s time for a mid-morning snack and our house always had multipacks of crisps for us to rummage through, although more often than not they were Crazy Prices’ Yellow Pack crisps (ask your parents, kids). Sometimes we got treated to others though and apart from Wotsits (I remember devouring all of the barbecue flavours before my siblings could) the other household favourites were all advertised in OiNK.

My dad still eats the Salt-n-Shake crisps to this day, although you can only get the salted ones now. This is just as well really because I remember the other flavours didn’t really work. No matter how much we shook the bag like the fella in this advert from #6 (July 1986) we’d always get a mixture of bland crisps and others with so much flavouring on them they’d burn our tongues. Needless to say that “mixing different sachets” to “invent your own flavours” was an atrocious idea too.

I’ll admit I still have a fondness for Monster Munch (#33, July 1987) to this day; the pickled onion ones are a favourite but I just can’t walk past a shelf of roast beef packets without filling the trolley! I was sure the regular Golden Wonder crisps disappeared for a while many years ago but that doesn’t seem to be the case. While they did go into administration in 2006 they were bought by my local Northern Irish crisp company, Tayto and continue to be made here, which surprised me!


“You can meet Jo-Jo, Bruno and our own super hero, ‘Mar-Might’…””

Marmite spread

I remember the Golden Wonder bags of my youth had a little window on the front through which you could see the crisps. The packets were horrible though, becoming very jagged when crumpled and they felt horribly greasy on the inside, things people seem to forget on those talking heads documentaries on Channel 5 where celebrities go all misty-eyed for such things. Here in #15 (November 1986) the promotion to lure us kiddies in was a range of exclusive Sixth Doctor comics, although the lure was lost on me as I didn’t start watching the show until 1988.

On to lunchtime sandwiches and no prizes if you guessed the first of these two adverts (#22, February 1987) is the thing I mentioned above that I didn’t like. I still don’t. I’ve only ever tasted Marmite once but I didn’t eat it. I’m probably sharing too much information when I say I was in my early 20s, I’d been out for a night for a few drinks and at the end I kissed a lady who had just eaten some. Gagging and recoiling from a kiss isn’t a great impression to make.

In #25 (April 1987) bread was advertised in a children’s comic. How exciting. To be fair, it was promoting a free sports bag emblazoned with the loaf’s logo and Champion was heavily advertised during children’s programming as the bread of choice for fit and athletic kids. I hated it back then with all of the little ‘bits’ in it but these days I do love a good granary loaf. Showing my age probably. Mother’s Pride make a vast amount of different breads these days in their Hovis range. I wonder if one of them is the modern day equivalent of this?

Imagine that was your foot!

On the way home we’d visit the sweet shop and long before Jamie Oliver’s sugar tax came in (something I cursed him for at the time but which I now think was for the best) any can of soft drink was so loaded with sugar they were main staples of kids’ diets in the 80s! Cherry Coca-Cola was the latest craze and was advertised with very surreal images on both the telly and in publications. They made little sense but were certainly eye-catching and worked a (sugary) treat, the first two here taken from #28 (May 1987) and #34 (August 1987) respectively.

It doesn’t taste the same anymore. For some reason when the sugar tax came in Coke changed the recipe for Coke Zero (the brand under which the different flavourings now reside) and suddenly it tasted like that horrible Diet Coke stuff (I’ve never been a fan). I moved over to Pepsi Max and actually much prefer it and its range of flavours, so thanks Jamie! I still buy my sugar-full Coke to slow cook my Christmas ham though. (Damn, that’s still too many months away.)


“2p off Milky Way!”

Milky Way chocolate bar

In hindsight ring pulls were so bloody dangerous on a product kids loved, never mind asking us to actually collect the sharp little things, and that advert (#30, June 1987) makes me wince nowadays. Imagine that was your foot! Anyway, collecting them is exactly what we did. I didn’t send any off for this particular product but I’m going to guess many blog readers of a certain vintage will have done so for their Coke or Fanta yo-yos, am I right?

With most of our pocket money spent on crisps and soda what were we going to do about our chocolate cravings? We couldn’t have a can of Coke without a chocolate accompaniment! But we also couldn’t spoil dinner, so we needed something we could eat “without ruining our appetite”. Luckily, Mars gave us a handy coupon for a whopping 2p off our next Milky Way. Hey, don’t knock it, that was a good chunk off back then. The advert was also split in two and spread over the issue (this one appeared in #12, October 1986).

The competition for a Commodore 64 also catches my eye today, it being my first proper home computer, although I didn’t get mine until Christmas 1991. The inside of a Milky Way was chocolate flavoured back then but was changed to vanilla in 1993 and I hated it. Although, Mars’ Flyte came along in 1996 and used the original recipe in a bar aimed at adults. Once I discovered this they were a very frequent purchase. Such a shame they’ve been discontinued since.

This really has been a whirlwind trip down memory lane for both my mind and my taste buds. I feel suitably qualified to appear on Channel 5 now. You can see companies knew how to appeal to us 80s kids. As well as adverts taking the form of comic strips, many offered their own magazines and comics to send off for, and there was always something magical about collecting silly little tokens (or ring pulls) that had the desired affect on us and on their bottom line.

In the next part of this series I’ll be taking a look at the toys advertised during OiNK’s run and you can expect that at Christmas (naturally).

PART ONE < > PART THREE

OiNK’S REAL ADVERTS

‘MORE OiNK’ MENU

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TRANSFORMERS GENERATiON 2: iN REAL TiME

Even back in the 1990s, when the computer-generated intro sequence to Transformers: Generation 2 first aired I remember thinking it looked very primitive, especially when compared to the graphics being produced by the new wave of CD-based videogame machines. Having collected Transformers toys for a few years until the original comic’s cancellation in the UK in January 1992, this did not inspire me to restart that obsession.

Transformers: Generation 2 was Hasbro’s attempt to relaunch the successful toy line for a new generation of children but it always felt half-assed to me. (So why am I covering the comic on the blog? I’ll get to that.) The cartoon wasn’t even a new series. Instead, it was a rerun of 52 of the original series’ episodes with that CGI introduction (taken from advertising) and some incredibly intrusive computer graphics overlayed on top of the episodes themselves.

The word ‘lazy’ springs to mind. The toys themselves didn’t fare much better to young teenager eyes. The G2 line ran from 1992 to 1994 and, apart from a few impressive new models such as Megatron who now transformed into a tank, most of the initial releases were reruns of previous toys with garish new colour schemes. Oh, and I mean garish! It was very 90s.

Optimus Prime’s ‘new’ toy played a bit fast and loose with the term ‘Robots in Disguise’

Some received new spring-loaded weapons and missile launchers etc., but for the most part even this eager Transformers fan, who would’ve happily continued collecting the original toys, thought some of them looked like cheap knock-offs rather than the official range. The original toys had declined in popularity but they’d had a great run which should be celebrated, and of course the franchise continues very successfully to this day.

With the vast array of different types of Transformers (even ones that couldn’t transform) towards the end I can commend Hasbro for wanting to go back to basics but for me this was the wrong way to go about it. The franchise recovered of course but Generation 2 didn’t excite me as a child and apparently I wasn’t alone. Also, just as a side note, Optimus Prime’s ‘new’ toy in particular played a bit fast and loose with the term “Robots in Disguise”, which was still on the box despite his trailer’s design. Less of a disguise and more of an announcement I’d say.

The colour schemes no longer matched the cartoon they’d repackaged with that CGI, and some of the characters in it weren’t available in any G2 toy form, making it all seem like it wasn’t very well thought out. In the end the toy line was discontinued when the first Transformers: Beast Wars toys began hitting shelves, which went off in a completely different and much more successful direction. 

[The Transformers: Generation 2 comic’s] reputation proceeds it and I’ve seen some of the hard-edged artwork which looks just incredible

So if I’m so unimpressed, why on Earth am I dedicating room to this strange little spin-off on the blog? Well, in September 1994 a new comic arrived on the shelves from OiNK‘s second publisher, Fleetway Publications. I was initially thrilled to see a brand new Transformers comic, even if it was monthly instead of weekly and didn’t seem to have a lot of content by comparison. Still, the first issue drew me in with its cover and the foldout poster inside which the editorial used to describe the comic as a ‘Transformer’ too, which I still think was fun.

I didn’t buy any more issues at the time and it only lasted for five months in the end, but what I didn’t know about at the time was the Marvel US monthly (which Fleetway started serialising in #3), written as ever by the original comic’s Simon Furman. I’ve never read the series but its reputation proceeds it and I’ve seen some of the hard-edged artwork which looks just incredible, reminding me of some of Kevin O’Neill’s early 2000AD work. That alone made me want to collect it in recent years.

It was marketed at the time as a more mature comic, less for the kids buying the new (well, new-ish) toys and more for those that had been reading the previous Transformers a few years before. No longer restricted by Hasbro in how he could portray characters, nor having to write in certain toys as a way of marketing new releases, Simon was given free rein to tell the story he wanted.

Because the UK title is so hard to come by for a decent price I’m going to cover the original American one first (a first for the blog), then at a future date we’ll see what Fleetway did with the license. Unfortunately, even the US comic only lasted for 12 months but that’s not an indictment of its quality. After all, just a few years before it the original G1 (as it was called from this point on) comic was cancelled when it was still selling about 100,000 copies per month!

That would be a massive hit today or for a new, original comic at the time, but at its peak Transformers had sold 250,000 a month so all Marvel saw was the decrease, sadly. Even with Transformers: Generation 2 technically being a new title it wasn’t going to reach those previous lofty heights for a licensed comic and, despite sales figures of around 100,000 per issue again, the rug was pulled. However, I’m really looking forward to seeing what all the positive fuss over that year is all about. Technically, there are more than 12 issues too because there were another four monthly chapters to the story before #1!

That’s right, it all kicked off as a crossover event in the pages of G.I. Joe in #139-#142, so I’m going to be including those issues on a month-by-month basis too in real time. As a fan of those characters (thanks to them being a back up strip in Marvel UK’s Transformers G1) I’m even more excited about the prospect of this read through than I already was. In fact, the issue before that again leads into the crossover, so altogether there are going to be 17 monthly comic reviews covering the entirety of Transformers: Generation 2.

It all begins with G.I. Joe #138 on the 31st anniversary of its release State-side on Sunday 26th May 2024. The Transformers have a bright future ahead on the blog and this is only the beginning of it!

GO TO G.i. JOE 138

TRANSFORMERS: GENERATiON 2 MENU

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RiNG RAiDERS LiCENSEE STYLE GUiDE: PART FiVE

Here we are at the end of this monthly series already. It’s been really interesting looking at this Ring Raiders Style Guide sent out to all potential licensees by the copyright holders Those Characters From Cleveland (TCFC) back in 1989. Judging from the feedback I’ve been getting on socials it seems like you lot agree. The final 12 pages are all here and as you can see from the photo above they make for a meatier read this time around.

There are three sections to round off the folder and we start with ‘Copy and Type Application’, which amounts to two whole pages about fonts. Yes, really. It’s something I never really considered but now that I see all of these examples I can remember each and every one of them on the packaging (which you’ll see further below) and on the toy advertisements in the comic produced by the editorial team.

The page of suggested taglines sound like they’ve been written by committee. A committee who has no idea about aircraft. They’re cringe-worthy and thankfully weren’t used on the toys themselves or in the comic. You can also see all potential designs were subject to TCFC’s approval, however the comic’s editor Barrie Tomlinson said the people behind Ring Raiders were more open than most to what licensees could bring to the franchise, and they were very happy with what Barrie and his team were producing.

‘Logos and Legal’ is the next part of the binder and they’re a weird combination, like they’ve only been shoved into the same section because they start with the same letter. It kicks off with a lot of detail about how to use trademarked names and exactly how every piece of merchandise should be labelled appropriately. If you’ve ever wondered what the difference is between the ™ and the ® symbols you’ll find that answer here too.

Even textile manufacturers get their own paragraph detailing how their products should be labelled. This was most likely the same information found in similar style guides for all of TCFC’s (and other’s) ranges but it’s still an interesting read. You’d see these little footnotes in all of our licenced comics too and I always thought it was up to the publisher how they were worded, especially for their own trademarks, but it looks like that wasn’t the case and it was the licence-holder’s wording. Although, to be fair, it’s a pretty standard format.

I simply loved the full colour Ring Raiders logo

Want to know the difference between a trademark and a copyright? Or why the year mentioned can sometimes change and sometimes remain the same? It’s all there for you. As most of my comics reading post-OiNK as a kid was based around licenced titles the nerd in me found this of particular interest. Then we move on to the second part of this alliterative section and the variations on the franchise’s logo that were permissible to use.

I thought the ‘Ring Raiders’ main title was a brilliant design and the accompanying logo the perfect embodiment of the toys. I simply loved the full colour Ring Raiders logo. I still feel the same, they’re just great designs! Below you’ll see the one-colour (that is, black and white) version of the logo, the same one in various sizes taking up a full page for some reason. You’ll see a handwritten note by Barrie too, highlighting how they’d use this particular version.

On the next page is a selection of variants for both the Ring Raiders and the Skull Squadron (quaintly described as “Good Guy / Bad Guy Logos”). The top two were used as the individual logos for each side on toy packaging and across any and all merchandise. The next row down are the in-universe logos used by the characters themselves on their planes, bases and uniforms.

The smaller, circular logos had specific uses in the toy range. The first two on each row were used on the tiny plastic rings we’d slip on our fingers, the planes attached via a thin, posable plastic rod. The star and skull circles were on the front of the rings while the ones with the lettering encircled the ball-shaped attachment on the top. The final one is exactly what it says, a miscellaneous combination of both to be used as they saw fit.

Anyone who collected these very collectible toys at the time should prepare to have their memory cells jolted as we move on to ‘Hang Tag and Packaging‘, namely the packaging used for the Matchbox toys themselves. First there’s more criteria, although these are more like suggestions and designers are encouraged to explore what might suit their product the best. These apply to all packaging, whether that’s by Matchbox or anyone else, right down to the sky background. There’s also mention of bold visuals such as colour bands trailing after the planes and you can see examples in the previous section’s merchandise concept drawings.

These card displays with the planes tucked away inside moulded clear plastic take me right back. From discovering my first two-plane starter set to excitedly collecting all the packs I could in every toy shop I visited, as well as receiving gifts during the festive season or from visiting family members from Scotland. I have a particularly fond memory of coming home from school to find my sister was visiting and I hadn’t been told, so it was a surprise. After a while she told me she’d brought me something and it was a huge eight-plane set featuring all the Wing Commanders.

I think back and my parents must’ve had to coordinate with my siblings and family friends because I never received any sets I already had (although there was some overlap in the range like those Wing Commanders planes, each of which would also be in their Wing sets). I’ve no idea how they managed that without me knowing. Anyway, yes, these photos are bringing all the smiles right now.

The rear of the packaging reveals more sets and a huge array of extras. As you know the franchise never took off, but over the course of a year (actually, mainly over the course of one summer and Christmas) I was able to collect everything here (plus most of the additional plane sets not shown here) except the gigantic Air Carrier Justice and the black version of the Battle Blaster. Ah, good times.

In case you’re wondering what we could redeem those barcode points for the answer is simple: nothing. It was possibly something for consideration at some future point but nothing ever came of them within the time the line lasted. According to online sources there were second and third series of planes, although I only ever remember seeing a second series the next summer which just made me more frustrated that the comic hadn’t lasted, because I thought the release of more toys meant they’d been a success.

Of course, with hindsight I know the second series would’ve already been in production before things fell apart. But I never did buy any more after that initial year and then in my later teens mine were handed down to a young nephew and subsequently destroyed through his playing. I kept the yellow and red X-29 as it was my first, and my favourite, but even this was given away to a girl in my late teens. (Hey, I was young and she’d taken a shine to it.)

Ring Raiders had that “gotta collect ‘em all” quality

After the hangtag (an example of what a product could hang from in a store) things are rounded off with a large scale image of that beautiful, full-colour logo. It’s the same page that’s been slipped inside the front of the folder which I’ve shown in a few photographs, but I’m including a proper scan of it to end on as requested by blog reader Terry in their comment under part three of this series. You’re right Terry, it is sweet!

With that the folder is finally closed and placed back on the shelf alongside what was, and still is, my favourite non-OiNK childhood comic. The toy line may have only lasted about a year and I was quick to move on to my next obsession, I’m sure, but what an obsession these were. I come away from this series of posts with one key takeaway; the Ring Raiders were robbed of being a hit franchise.

Before Pokémon, the Ring Raiders had that “gotta collect ‘em all” quality. They were great toys, the comic had great characters and action, there was variety and adventure and a ton of fun in all aspects of the franchise and it had more potential than most others in my opinion. They have a special place in my heart all these years later and, dare I say it, I don’t think I’m finished with them yet.

Once again, thanks to former IPC/Fleetway editor/writer Barrie Tomlinson and his writer son James for kindly sending me this folder in the first place.

BACK TO PART FOUR

LiCENSEE FOLDER MENU

RiNG RAiDERS MENU

Classic Comics in Real Time