Created by master of mirth Lew Stringer, Barmy Comix was released for free online in 2020 in response to a delay in the publication of his next Combat Colin comic due to Covid. Bringing some much needed cheer to a locked down world when access to new comics was impossible, it has 32 pages (or screens) of strips taken from various publications in the Lewniverse, including a nine-page preview of the next issue of Combat Colin.
That’s not all from the moronic militia man though. There’s a classic from the Transformers days, when Lew’s strips were at their height later in the run with Day of the Gunge, a strip I fondly remember reading first time around when I was a much smaller human. There’s also a full-colour adventure with Colin and Semi-Automatic Steve I hadn’t read before from the pages of Aces Weekly. This on its own is worth the price of entry. Not that there is any price, but you get my drift.
Loose Brayne, aka Brickman is in here too. It’s quite possibly the barmiest strip of the whole comic and that’s certainly saying something. The Brickman Meets The Mad Cobbler is classic Lew turned up to ten. I love the character of Albert and on the next page we see that it’s actually the big fancy house, Brayne Manor, that sits in a cave while Brickman’s supposedly secret lair is above ground for all to see.
This should give you some idea of the chaos to expect if you’ve never read a Brickman strip before. Set in “Pre-Holocaust Thatcherite Britain” it’s an ingenious mix of slapstick, social commentary and daft gags. It’s probably my favourite out of the whole issue. Saying that, there’s also a second story of his, Brickman and Trowel Meet Professor Deranged! Nothing subtle about the villain names in this comic.
Derek the Troll’s strip takes the form of one of those Make-Your-Own-Adventure books we had as kids (OiNK had its own version back in #5). Derek was originally created for role-playing magazine Warlock and that’s where this strip comes from. Lew has also released a comic reprinting all of Derek’s misadventures which I’ve already reviewed on the blog and (spoiler) enjoyed immensely.
Derek the Troll’s ‘orrible Troll-Playing Game is almost impossible to win, throwing a spanner in the works every time you think you’ve made the right decision, its curveballs and surprises keeping you laughing all the way to the end. There are also two full-colour strips of Derek’s from the short-lived digital comic Goof and he’s the star of one of the mini-posters scattered throughout Barmy Comix, ready to be printed out and Blu-Tac’ed to your wall if you’re feeling particularly nostalgic.
One creation of Lew’s I’d never heard of before reading this comic during the pandemic was Pedantic Stan the Comics Fan. Co-created with former Marvel UK editor and the utter gentleman behind comics news site Down the TubesJohn Freeman, he was created for comic newspaper Speakeasy in the 1990s (an earlier edition of which has already appeared on the blog). Lew has also released the complete collection of Stan’s strips in a small, landscape format comic which was a hoot to read. It’s been a while since I’ve read it so it was fun to see his Full-Page Christmas Special again.
Also in here is a touching strip from the Undefeated Spirit of Hope book released in 2011 in the wake of the natural disasters in New Zealand and Japan of that year, finishing off the comic on the back page. Altogether this has reminded me of The Marvel Bumper Comic, which introduced me to comics and characters I hadn’t previously read among a mix of hugely enjoyable, hand-picked reprints of some of my favourites.
Barmy Comix was (and still is) free although Lew does ask fans if they could donate a small sum of £2.00 towards the creation of future comics in his range. This was particularly relevant during the pandemic but it’s such a small ask in return for the many laughs we get from each and every one of his publications. To download it just click on the link below to Lew’s own blog and please do remember to donate.
As I collected Death’s Head’s comic for the blog I couldn’t help but notice the covers for the final three issues all prominently displayed characters from other publications. Crossovers were usually an event and used sparingly in my comics as a kid so my initial reaction to seeing these was that they were really, really trying to get a bigger audience for the comic, which made me think sales weren’t great. A bit of a leap perhaps, but three crossovers in a row?
This issue we see the Seventh Doctor (as played by Sylvester McCoy on TV) guest star after our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent first appeared in Doctor Who Magazine and ended up reduced to human size by the time-traveling alien. It’s clear from the cover and the editorial inside that the opportunity for revenge has presented itself and Death’s Head intends to follow it through. But first, a surprise in the credits!
Unlike all previous issues, which were written by the character’s co-creator Simon Furman, this chapter is written by Steve Parkhouse (Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Bojeffries Saga, Doctor Who – unsurprisingly) who also inks Art Wetherell’s (Transformers, The Incredible Hulk Presents, Sheena Queen of the Jungle) pencils. Annie Halfacree letters and Louise Cassell colours a strip that feels very different than usual. Plus, Steve White (editor of Visionaries, colourist on Jurassic Park) takes over as editor after Richard Starkings had resigned.
The plot involves Josiah W. Dogbolter, a character of Steve Parkhouse’s and Steve Dillon‘s from DWM in the Fifth Doctor days, whose company wants to make money out of time travel by privatising it. How could time travel be privatised? In the 80s we thought the same thing about water and the railways. This is clearly taking a dig at Margaret Thatcher’s government of the time, something Simon’s Dragon’s Claws was very good at. It’s nice to see this kind of satire make its way into the more comedy-focussed title.
Dogbolter finishes his speech to his shareholders and the press with the phrase, “Time IS money!!” and I have to hand it to him for that one. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the businessman has had previous run-ins with The Doctor and that’s why he’s wanting to control the very essence of time travel. The first panel above sums up the entirety of the plot for this issue, found on the second page.
This comic could never be accused of having intricate plot lines, usually they’re just a means to an end. But when those ends are so full of character, action and laughs, when they’re so enjoyable, they do the job. This issue is no exception. Hob is Dogbolter’s robotic assistant and is sent out (in delivery boy uniform no less) to hire Death’s Head for an assassination attempt on The Doctor. Needless to say, he accepts the job.
“Poot? This is some Time Machine, yes?”
Death’s Head
What he doesn’t know is that Dogbolter was looking for “a skilled assassin who’s not only spectacularly stupid, but psychotically aggressive, amoral, and lacking any kind of imagination whatsoever” and Hob’s conclusion was to approach our lead character. It becomes apparent later in the strip why his boss was looking for someone with these particular traits. But first, on a dark and stormy post-apocalyptic night in a future Los Angeles, the powerful time travelling device gets strapped to Death’s Head and he dramatically sets off. Well, sort of.
It’s not exactly the TARDIS. A fun segment takes Death’s Head through various points in time before he’s able to find The Doctor. First of all he lands in an English parish in 1646. Leaving just moments later it was enough for the poor woman whose garden he appeared in to be sentenced to death for summoning a demon. Two huge shoed footprints are uncovered by archaeologists digging for Triassic period fossils and then he appears in front of a German tank during World War II!
Lots of laughs later we see The Doctor is also attempting to make an audience smile as he plays a court jester in a panto taking place in front of tourists on an English seaside pier. I have no idea why this is, perhaps it ties into a story in Doctor Who Magazine at the time. A loud noise from behind him sends the audience into the usual pantomime chant of “He’s behind you”, to which The Doctor naturally replies, “Oh not he isn’t”, leading to this next page.
That’s an entrance. Using some panto clichés, namely pulling a lever to open a trap door under Death’s Head and then escaping as one half of a pantomime horse (no, really), The Doctor makes his way back to the TARDIS and scarpers to another time and place. This really is all rather ridiculous, even for the far-fetched nature of this comic but then again we have to remember this was published during 80s Doctor Who.
I have a real fondness for Sylvester’s Doctor. He was my first but I didn’t start watching until the beginning of his second season (with the phenomenal Remembrance of the Daleks) when he became a darker and more mysterious character, often instigating the plot rather than reacting to an injustice. But when this comic was written only his first season had been broadcast in which he was much more of a clown, fumbling his way through time while playing the spoons!
This explains a lot about his actions in Time Bomb, and especially the ludicrous escape he’s just made.
So he may not feel like my Doctor but it’s still an entertaining strip. Death’s Head is able to somehow materialise inside the TARDIS (this is never explained) direct from the sea he’d plunged into under the pier. An alarm sounds and soon he finds out he’s been double-crossed. Dogbolter not only ensured The Doctor would be killed but that there wouldn’t be any witnesses to tie things back to him.
Over the next couple of pages we see Death’s Head and The Doctor work together as much as they ever will, not exactly with each other but they have a mutual wish to survive and that’s enough for now. They lock on to the source of the signal and materialise on top of Intra-Venus Inc.’s (brilliant name) roof, much to Dogbolter’s chagrin. As he heads to the sub-basement shelter, inside the TARDIS Death’s Head tries to convince The Doctor to blast the straps of the machine off his back.
The patter between these two is very good. Death’s Head explains he never learned how to worry but that The Doctor is about to be blown up and end up in hell, so he tells him he’d better get to work. Using something called a Piklok (a new invention, but why not the Sonic Screwdriver?) he manages to unstrap the time machine while elsewhere Dogbolter has lost his ID card and can’t get off the elevator in time to escape before this next page.
I have an issue with this. A big one. It’s been established the time machine is nuclear-powered, so why did The Doctor not dispose of it in deep, dark space? Why bring it back to Earth? The size of the explosion is meant to indicate the end of Dogbolter and his company, but that would also include everyone else in that building and at the very least the surrounding buildings too! The Doctor would never put innocent human lives at risk, never mind actually blowing them to bits!
Back in Doctor Who Magazine #135 he also put Earth at risk by dropping Death’s Head off here, even though he acknowledged how dangerous that would be for his favourite planet. It’s not like the Seventh Doctor had it in for us humans, he held the same morals as all the rest, including the modern day incarnations (if you’re unfamiliar with the classic series). It’s a huge sticking point for me and kind of ruins the end of a fun story.
With this in mind it’s quite galling of The Doctor to then try to lecture our mechanoid anti-hero on his behaviour. Death’s Head’s response is funny though, I’ll give the strip that. The Doctor tells him that humans can evolve and change their evil ways, which Death’s Head simply describes as falling apart. After all, he’s programmed, and metal; if he changes from that then he’s literally falling apart. It’s black and white to him.
“A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead.”
Death’s Head
As The Doctor leaves he tells Death’s Head that he’s doomed, that in a thousand years people will be different be he’ll still be the same. “A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead”, he retorts. There’s no use in trying to push it, so as the TARDIS doors close he’s told he’s just a machine, a tool, one that nobody truly needs. Death’s Head muses that The Doctor is probably right, but then realises he doesn’t care; he’s home and ready to earn money again.
The final few panels pull back to reveal a not-so-subtle hint of who will be guest starring in #9. Anyone unsure (as I would’ve been at the time if I’d been reading this as a kid, I wasn’t a superhero comic reader), the answer to the final letter on the Head To Head page gives the game away not only for the next issue but the final one beyond that.
Then again, what’s the point in crossovers if you can’t market the hell out of them in advance to try to increase sales, yes?
I really enjoyed this story but that explosive ending bugs me. I don’t mean to dwell but as a fan of Doctor Who it’s just so out of character, so out of sync with what the series stands for, that I can’t let it go. I know nothing about The Fantastic Four so if they suffer the same fate I’ll be none the wiser. We’ll see how Death’s Head fares with four super-powered humans in #9, so watch out for the review on Monday 1st July 2024.
I do love it when I get to start a brand new real time read through and this is one I’ve been particularly looking forward to. Not only have I never read Transformers: Generation 2 before (and as usual I’ll be discovering it one month at a time and telling you about it as I do) but the story actually kicked off in a special crossover event in the pages of another favourite comic, G.I. Joe.
I discovered the Joes and Cobra when they were known as Action Force in the UK in their position as back up strip in Transformers, after their own weekly was cancelled. When reading their adventures as part of that read through on the blog’s Instagram I became a huge fan all over again, collected some of IDW’s continuation and am now a dedicated reader of the same comic under the stewardship of Image Comics.
In case you didn’t know, this actual comic continues to this day and it’s still being written by Larry Hama! So going back to read these issues is extra exciting for me because they’re earlier stories of the new comic I’m reading today. Regarding that title on the cover, the Ninja Force were a sub-section of both sides of the conflict and a new range of Hasbro toys at the time. With Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow as the main characters the comic’s name was temporarily changed to promote the range.
Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville
That secondary title would be replaced with ‘and Transformers: Generation 2’ from the next issue and initially I thought that was where I’d begin with the four-part story between #139 and #142. But this issue was also in the bundle of comics I purchased from eBay and a quick flick through it showed me why. You’ll see why, so let’s begin.
Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman (also on cover duties) on pencils and Stephen Baskerville on inks, now in this American comic. Together they produced some incredible art for the original Transformers towards the end of its run. Andrew is best know for his Transformers, The Real Ghostbusters and G.I. Joe work, while it’s the former two and 2000AD for Stephen. The art is completed with letters by Rick Parker (Spider-Man, Time magazine, Tales From the Crypt) and colours by Bob Sharen (Alpha Flight, Ghost Rider, Invincible Iron Man), both of whose work I recognise from those earlier back up strips.
“I want that uxorious chrome-visaged twit and his xanthippic consort winkled out like the limeceous bivalves they are!”
Cobra Commander
So I immediately felt right at home. Things begin with one of my favourite characters, Scarlett going through a mental crisis. She’s apparently defected to Cobra although in reality this is just an undercover mission. However, she believes her actions led to the death of Hawk and Stalker, however they survived whatever transpired in previous issues. She just doesn’t know this yet.
Obviously I haven’t read the chapters leading up to this so I can only tell you what happens here. In a nutshell Destro and Baroness are trying to escape from Cobra with the aid of G.I. Joe (a separate story from Scarlett’s). The action takes place inside a tall fortress of Destro’s design that can shift its shape into different defensive and offensive configurations. Destro also included secret crawlspaces behind the walls, where they are currently hiding. However, these have now been discovered, a hole has been blown in a wall and Cobra Commander has sent his troops in to capture them.
At this point in the story it seems Cobra Commander has a… unique use of language. Throughout this issue he seems to use half a dozen words when one would suffice. It adds to his superiority complex and I enjoy it. Only Larry could carry these lengthy speech balloons off in the heat of the action. We also see Destro’s use of cool 80s tech from within his metallic face mask that I hadn’t seen before and we find out just how dedicated the Joes need to be to Scarlett’s mission.
Despite Scarlett and Snake Eyes being very much in love, he and Storm Shadow must treat her like any other Cobra enemy if she’s to remain alive. It’s a fine balancing act that leads to a shocking moment later in the issue. (If you’re wondering, “Xin-loi” is a phrase used during the Vietnam war and roughly translates as “tough luck”, albeit a more vulgar version.) Once inside the crawlspaces, laden with boobie traps, Larry shows he’s still not afraid to kill people in glorious fashion in this children’s comic, something the cartoon couldn’t do.
Storm Shadow and the ever-silent Snake Eyes skilfully parachute in on top of the transforming building and we can see how it’s whole form is shifting about, taking care of many of the Cobra grunts as it does so. I’ve searched online and I can’t find evidence of this strange castle being a toy in the original range but I’m happy to be proven wrong if any readers can point me in the right direction.
I’ve seen some wonderful fan-made models of it though, complete right down to the colour of the stone and the ability to alter its shape. It’s this shape altering that brings us to the first shock of the issue, at least for anyone who had been reading this in 1993 and especially those who had been fans of Marvel’s other popular licenced monthly from a few years previous. As the building continues to change it’s caught the attention of an outside force.
Many fans of Transformers were also fans of G.I. Joe (and this continues to be the case today, like me for example) so imagine the impact that page would’ve had as they’d been reading what is already an exciting climax to a story. That’s just a tiny glimpse, one that perhaps those not au fait with the Transformers wouldn’t have fully grasped, but I’m sure the majority were thrilled. I wish I hadn’t flicked through the issue when I first got it as part of my eBay bundle, I’d loved to have been surprised by this.
Back to that story though and the plan will be familiar to those who have seen The Dark Knight (as one example). To extract Destro and Baroness they’re fastened to Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, and long wires with balloons on the end are attached to the ninjas. The balloons are inflated and travel far up into the night sky where planes grab the wires and haul all four of them off the ground at high speed.
Imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming
But what Snake Eyes didn’t reckon on was Scarlett being part of the Cobra team sent to return Destro to Cobra Commander. They come into contact with each other on the roof of the castle. Quite literally! Now remember, Snake was ordered by Hawk to treat Scarlett as if she were any other enemy so as not to blow her cover. What happens as a result is truly the most shocking moment of the issue.
This shocked me even though I know Scarlett is in the modern comic! I can only imagine what impact this page would’ve had decades ago. A few pages later though, this moment proves to be cathartic for Scarlett. Slice, a member of Cobra who is suspicious of her still isn’t convinced despite seeing it happen, even though Dr. Biggles-Jones declares Snake trying to kill her is clear proof of her loyalty.
However, back on board the Joes’ plane Storm Shadow explains Snake had to do the near-impossible; he had a split second to make it convincing and at the same moment make sure his aim was “pure”. It had to be so, so close. Hawk tries to sooth Snake’s obvious anxiety by telling him Scarlett of all people knows how good he is, she knows he never misses “except on purpose”, that even if she still believes she was responsible for Hawk’s and Stalker’s supposed deaths she “now knows that you couldn’t hold it against her!”
Back at the now-stationery castle Scarlet is in incredible agony, yet has a smile beneath all the tears and is just about able to utter the words “I know” before passing out. Amongst all of the action, whether that be the ninja-based, sci-fi or war storylines the comic flipped between, Larry’s characters have always been fully formed, grounded and believable, even when their very existence is far fetched. Decades of writing them hasn’t blunted any of that expertise either.
The panels above form the bottom half of the penultimate page of the strip, with Cobra Commander’s cold reaction to Slice’s request to gut Scarlett, to see how the Joes react as a final test of her loyalty. Then a huge shadow falls over the group. The terrorists looks up in horror. And we turn the page.
What an ending! Again, imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming. Especially with Andrew and Stephen’s familiar superb work on Megatron! The last time we saw ol’ Megs was in the final UK annual released for Christmas 1991. The Decepticons were trying to use the unstable nucleon (which had had unexpected side effects on some Transformers) to resurrect their fallen leader, recently separated from the body he shared with Autobot Ratchet before The Ark was blown up and crash landed on Earth.
Here he looks suitably patchy, with wires hanging out of battered parts of his body. I knew this was coming but it was still a thrill to read this page as the end of this story. I’m super hyped to get stuck into the next four issues of G.I. Joe and even more so for the 12 issues of Transformers: Generation 2 to come after that! Simon Furman writing that forthcoming series and having these robotic characters resurrected by Larry Hama is going to be something special if this small preview story (as it is for me) is anything to go by.
Before we wrap up, a quick look at a couple of contemporary adverts from the issue. First up, a movie that has been derided in the years since but which I still enjoy. Super Mario Bros was a flop (and the recent animation knocks it out of the park) but it’s a zany, ridiculous and oh-so-90s film that’s completely unique. I have the BluRay and the documentary tells a fascinating tale about its creation. Apparently the original script was great, aimed at a teenage-and-up audience and the cast were very happy with it (as were Nintendo). But just a few days before shooting was to commence the studio produced a new, more child-friendly script that threw everything out that had been created before, so its directors had to shoot something they didn’t like while using all of the sets and effects created for the previous script!
In the documentary John Leguizamo explains how they made the most of such a horrid situation and to me it’s a miracle any movie got made. As much as I enjoy the silliness of the end result, I can’t help but wonder what this talented cast could’ve done without the interference of studio executives who didn’t understand the original source material. Oh well.
Another ad that stood out (among the many, many adverts in the comic that often interrupted the strip on every other page) was for classic video game Flashback. I remember seeing friends play it on their Commodore Amigas and it looked stunning in a demo for my own 3DO but I never played it myself. Well, as it turns out it’s been rereleased for the Nintendo Switch so after seeing this ad I just had to break out the wallet.
It’s a great start to this latest real time read through and for all intents and purposes it’s not even the beginning yet, that’ll come next month with the actual first part of the G.I. Joe and Transformers: Generation 2 storyline by Larry Hama. It seems suitably timely with a crossover movie coming to our screens in the not-too-distant future. Be sure to check back on Sunday 30th June 2024 for the next/first chapter.
With an increase of 5p on the cover price, Death’s Head #7 hit stores today back in 1989 with this Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer cover, while inside I’m excited to see inking duties on Bryan’s pencils are actually by Jeff Anderson, whose work I loved so much in Marvel UK’s top-selling Transformers and this combination is just superb throughout. The comic is also still offering subscriptions for 12 months so clearly there was no sign yet that even those earliest of subscribers wouldn’t be getting all of their issues delivered. (Only three more to go after this one.)
A new colourist has joined the fray, namely Stuart Place who also coloured for the company’s The Real Ghostbusters, Action Force (G.I. Joe) and Transformers, most notably the fan-favourite Dinobot Hunt story in the early days of the comic. Steve White has also taken over as editor after Richard Starkings resigned. Poor Steve, we’ve already seen his name on the blog when he edited Visionaries but it didn’t last long because the subject matter flopped, he took over Havoc just before it got unceremoniously canned and the same is about to happen here. None were his fault obviously, and he is a simply incredible artist! Check out his Instagram and make sure you see his gorgeous colouring on Xenozoic Tales in Dark Horse’s Jurassic Park!
Shot by Both Sides (as ever written by Simon Furman with Annie Halfacree lettering) is a brilliant strip, one of my favourites of the run so far. The comedy comes thick and fast in the early pages. A robotic tour guide is telling passengers on a bus what they can see to their right and left when a crashing ship narrowly averts disaster but rips off the roof of the vehicle in the process. In response, the robot simply moves on with, “Um, well… above you, you can see…”.
It’s at this point we see the panel above and the ship in question is Death’s Head‘s, who seems to be having problems with the autopilot. I remember a friend of mine in school who was a particularly big fan and he’d often quote the “No, yes?” line when asked a question. The plot this time combines two previous cliffhangers from #4 and #6 and sees bounty hunter Big Shot and explosives expert Short Fuse both attempting to take out the Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent for their bosses.
These bosses are the previously featured Undertaker and new gangster Dead Cert, a cigar-chomping man with a horse’s head who unironically runs the city’s illegal sports gambling rings, including horse racing. In the first scene (the crashing ship one) we find out Big Shot had fired a high-powered missile at Death’s Head ship which had initiated the crash. But Short Fuse had also planted an explosion in the cargo hold. When it went off it lightened the craft enough for it to be successfully pulled up before it crashed into that bus.
Death’s Head puts both down to “cowboy builders” and doesn’t realise he was actually under attack. This forms the backbone of this month’s tale. Big Shot’s aim is to kill our anti-hero and double-cross Undertaker by taking over Death’s Head’s business, while Short Fuse just wants to do a good job for the person/horse who hired him. However, they keep attempting to take out their target at the same time. While completely unaware of each other, each attempt is undone by the other’s, cancelling each other out in an increasingly funny series of events.
There’s a main bad guy mixed in here that acts as Death’s Head’s target for a job he and Spratt (good to see him back in the strip) have been hired to carry out. Called Photofit, he has a hi-tech suit which enables him to mimic anyone he comes in contact with. Think the T-1000 from Terminator 2, albeit a few years before that film was released. While the chase makes for an entertaining plot it’s really just a vehicle for the assassination attempts.
Eventually our lead clicks that something is going on as you can see below. I love the panel when he realises, his expression and the rain bouncing off his metallic face is all just perfectly realised. In the middle panel you can see how Short Fuse’s mistimed bomb blows Death’s Head backwards and away from Big Shot firing his bazooka-like weapon. He’d been in his sights but the explosion pushed the target out of the way and you can see the bazooka shell zooming harmlessly past.
Somehow this doesn’t get stale either, mainly thanks to the imagination on show in how these attempts fail and Death’s Head’s reactions. All the while the Photofit story continues and he disguises himself as a contestant on a game show where the prize is a trip out of the country, all paid for and through legitimate channels, the ultimate getaway right in plain sight.
Spratt accidentally ends up on the show itself and faces off against the disguised Photofit while Death’s Head tries to search the rest of the building for someone who could be anyone. All the while he’s getting attacked by unknown enemies. Unknown until Big Shot finally decides to change that. Sick of having his chances squandered he blasts Death’s Head through a wall, then stands over him, gun pointed at his head, ready to take the final shot… when another explosion knocks him off his feet and into waiting fists.
I had to laugh at that first panel! Well, our main character isn’t a bounty hunter after all, yes? Short Fuse is getting frustrated too. For once it was Big Shot who got in his way, so he resorts to desperate measures but his own incompetence results in nothing more than an explosion in mid-air that shoves the fighting duo through a wall and into the television studio.
Just before this, Photofit makes himself known to Spratt because our unwitting contestant is actually winning the game. A gun held in the small of his back, he’s saved by the sudden arrival of our fighting duo and Photofit realises he’s defeated and must escape. He sees the perfect disguise right in front of him. Or it would be, if that disguise didn’t immediately place him in the sights of an assassin.
So the magnetic bomb obviously doesn’t stick to the very human imposter and in a shocking move it not only blows him up but Short Fuse as well! Okay, yes, he’s been trying to blow up Death’s Head but the very violent slapstick comedy he’s brought to the issue has been hilarious and I’m genuinely sorry to see him killed off. Despite being a hired killer there was something loveable about the little man. However, even in death he manages to thwart Big Shot one final time and save the mechanoid they’d both been hired to kill.
As the story ends Spratt and Death’s Head converse over how it was strange that things kept exploding around them, reminding the readers that the duo never even knew of Short Fuse’s existence, never mind his influence on events (and their lives). They don’t seem to care why those explosions kept happening and instead only hope there’s enough left of their target so that they can prove they’ve earned their money!
It’s a suitably funny conclusion for these two, playing down the events and simply moving on. In their position it’s probably the healthiest way to be but that’s not the point. The point is that they’re very funny together and obviously the perfect match, something even Death’s Head seems to have finally acknowledged. These two are so well written, their actions and dialogue so natural that you have to step back to remember how far-fetched the whole scenario of the comic is.
I’ve really enjoyed Simon’s writing in Transformers and Dragon’s Claws but there’s something about this particular comic that stands out. It feels like it’s more of a personal project for Simon, it’s so one-of-a-kind and has such a unique sense of humour I get the feeling the writing is closer to Simon’s own personality than anything else I’ve read. We’ll see that insight hopefully develop even more over the remaining months, the next instalment in five weeks on Monday 3rd June 2024. But before then…
The first time K.I.T.T. (programmed for human preservation) faced off against the evil prototype K.A.R.R. (programmed for self-preservation) in season one of Knight Rider the paradox of “What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?” was brought up. As a huge fan of the show, when I opened this sixth issue of Marvel UK’s Death’s Head its inclusion as the opening of the editorial made me smile. The militia group Sudden Impact are promoted as equals to the Peacekeeping Agent, so while their cliffhanger last time felt lacking it’s made up for here.
They’re a clichéd lot though, with an overly shouty commander and a ragtag collection of men and women that look like they’ve walked straight out of an 80s action figures catalogue. You might also notice the art style is somewhat different to what we’re used to. That’s because this issue is pencilled by Liam Sharp (Judge Dredd, Batman, Spider-Man), inked by Paul Marshall (Mean Machine, Firekind, Sinister Dexter) and coloured by Louise Cassell (Doctor Who Classic Comics, Transformers, Captain Britain) alongside regular letterer Annie Halfacree and all under the auspices of editor Richard Starkings. The cover above is by the usual pairing of Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer.
An army general arrives with some troops and confirms he’s there to hire Sudden Impact to tie up some unnamed loose end, which I initially thought would be Death’s Head. His men start to bad-mouth the mercenaries’ looks but Mayhem (their very original-named leader) gives them the go ahead to fight back. Physically. Soon the troops, who vastly outnumbered them, are all beaten but the general doesn’t care. He just agrees Mayhem’s team are the right people for the job.
We catch up with our anti-hero in a luxurious compound in the middle of nowhere, where he’s been hired to ensure a nervous government witness gets to trial. It’s a cushty job for once, so far involving nothing more than relaxing and watching TV. But we know a large team of maniacal, murderous mercenaries are on their way and it would appear he’s the last line of defence. Surely an impossible mission? It’s just as well he has Tom Cruise there too!
As writer Simon Furman describes it in the following panels, the attack is less a battle and more of a slaughter. Tom… I mean, Marshal Lek and his politicised police force are no match for Sudden Impact and the star witness begs Death’s Head to do something. So naturally he responds by telling him they’ll go and find the chess set! We’ll get back to that.
First we get the plot laid out for us as we meet Minister Carson, a corrupt official who has been selling parts of the US armed forces to foreign adversaries for substantial payments. The General we met earlier actually thinks this wouldn’t stop a lot of Americans from still voting for him. Given today’s climate and the blind followers of certain presidential candidates in that country this isn’t as far fetched as it once may have been.
Before we return to the action we catch a quick glimpse of Spratt back at their office. After not appearing at all last month and on one solitary page this time around it feels a bit like he’s taking a back seat after being promoted as Death’s Head’s partner in earlier issues. Such a shame. Here he’s reduced to trying to answer the phone while being attacked by their rescued vulture (see #5), only to discover someone on the line addressing Death’s Head as “my darling”.
That’s all we get of that particular storyline for this issue before we return to that chess set. Yep, he wasn’t kidding and he’s set it up in a secured safe room and ignores the fighting outside. Of course Lek isn’t too happy but you can’t fault Death’s Head’s logic below, and it’s nice to see him back to working to the letter of his contracts which was such an important rule in #1 and yet seemed to be broken or forgotten about last time.
With Lek’s small army taken out already and the mercenaries breaking through into the safe room, it all rests on the star of the comic to take down Sudden Impact one member at a time. What we’re treated to next are several pages of perfect 80s action, similar to how certain issues of Dragon’s Claws (also written by Simon) felt like 80s action movies translated directly to the page. What this means for this character is one exciting take down after another, each accompanied by a Schwarzenegger-like punchline.
With six now taken out already a disappointed Death’s Head laments about how they were meant to be unstoppable but yet it’s all a bit easy for him. Missile launchers, flame throwers, aerial attacks, stealth moves… nothing works and we see the team reduced to its final members over these pages. While it’s all great fun I can’t help but wonder would it have been more exciting if this had been one seemingly unstoppable mercenary rather than a group?
As it stands, Sudden Impact seem little more than cannon fodder, but if it had been Mayhem himself taking up all these pages with attempts to kill Death’s Head, relentlessly coming back for more, it may have felt more dramatic. However, it’s great fun and if there’s anything we’ve learned about the comic by this sixth issue it’s that fun is the main aim here, not drama.
So who cares if they’re cannon fodder? Who cares if it could’ve been more dramatic with one merc? With killer lines like “Buck stops here, yes?” this is so enjoyable and so reminiscent of the aforementioned Arnie and his over-the-top action flicks of the time that the only thing I’m unhappy with is the fact there are only four more issues to go. It’s a title that really stands out as something different, something only Marvel UK could’ve produced.
This is one of the best issues of Death’s Head yet for sheer fun value
We then get to briefly meet the senator whose witness is at the centre of all this violence and it appears our star isn’t exactly working for the good guys. Senator Letterman knows the only difference between Marshal Lek and terrorists are their uniforms and when he realises the extra law enforcement he ordered to escort him are handling a massive riot elsewhere in the city he demands they be called away.
The citizens can kill each other for all he cares, they’re all expendable as long as they’ve already voted for him, and the police aren’t the public’s, they’re his. Whether we see this horrible little squirt again or whether he’s just an example of the larger government I don’t know, but it does show that Death’s Head really is an anti-hero rather than an out-and-out goodie. He might do what’s morally right when the situation calls for it, but he’ll take a contract worth good money from anyone who can afford him. It makes for a more interesting character.
At the top of this review I mentioned a classic episode of Knight Rider and how excited I got with the editorial of this issue. Well, I can only imagine how excited I’d have been reading the page above (which ends the fight) without the foreknowledge of that introductory page. Also, on the penultimate page of the story the “conscientious objector” line from the cover is meant to be the final gag of the story. A shame both of these moments were somewhat spoiled already then.
But in a rare case for our main character, in this story he fails to do what he was hired to do. Beaten, Mayhem asks Death’s Head how many of his team has he killed. The tally stands at eight, to which Mayhem simply replies “Nine” before the building holding the witness explodes. Death’s Head had missed one. Lek laments, he believes Letterman will be taking a contract out on him next. As for Death’s Head’s response, it’s as typical as you’d expect from him.
As he simply packs up and leaves Lek with Mayhem I’ll admit I smiled. How very in-character. As per previous issues the final page is unrelated to the story and sets up a cliffhanger instead, this time involving a cigar-smoking horse(!) planning to kill Death’s Head. I’ll leave that for next month because we’ll need to read the next issue to make sense of that one, but for now we wrap up the first issue in the second half of the comic’s run (not that anyone knew this at the time).
It may not have had the most involving plot this month but that needn’t matter. I’m here for this character and this was a brilliant story for him. It gave him the perfect set up to unleash everything that made him so beloved by readers at the time (and still to this day). Full of action and comedy, this is one of the best issues of Death’s Head yet for sheer fun value. With four issues left I hope the momentum keeps up alongside some great stories. We’ll find out with #7’s review later this month on Monday 29th April 2024.
Between the original publication dates of the previous issue of Doctor Who Magazine covered on the blog (#135, as part of the Death’s Head read through) and this one I’d finally discovered the TV series for myself. I’d grown up in a house where older siblings would have watched Tom Baker in the role so I was always aware of it and certain aspects such as the Daleks, the TARDIS etc., but it wasn’t until I saw those aforementioned meanies splashed across media outlets in 1988 that I decided to give it a go for myself. I’ve watched ever since.
I’ll get back to that below when I take a look at some other parts of this issue, but the reason it’s here on the OiNK Blog is because of those two cheeky Blues Brothers-esque characters peering out from behind the cover. After months of that teaser advertThe Sleeze Brothers finally made their strip debut here and, according to Richard Starkings (Sleeze Brothers’ editor) this very well could be the only time creator-owned characters made the cover of DWM! This magazine’s editor (and friend of the blog) John Freeman concurs. John was the mag’s designer in the previous issue we looked at so he’s had a promotion since.
On the contents page you can see how the strip in introduced with its “plethora of artists” and that is indeed the case, with no less than five of Marvel UK’s finest bringing the characters to readers for the first time. Before we move on to the main event though, I couldn’t help but spot that little bit of optimism in the editorial about Doctor Who’s potential upswing in fortunes over the year ahead. Within the year the show would actually be cancelled.
So let’s get stuck into the first (mis-)adventure for El’ Ape and Deadbeat. As you can see from this first page we’ve got a who’s-who of Marvel UK talent responsible for the eight-page strip. John Carnell and Andy Lanning are the creators and alongside Andy on art duties are John Higgins, Kev Hopgood, Dougie Braithwaite and Dave Harwood. A greater selection of pencillers and inkers from my childhood (especially The Real Ghostbusters) would be hard to find. Then add in Slimer’s main artist Bambos Georgiou and this screams “classic” before I’ve even read one panel.
My first encounter with the brothers was with #1 of their own comic and only now, decades later, I’ve got my hands on this strip. Having only ever read #1, and not having done so since 1989, reading this prelude years after the fact doesn’t matter. My memory is so rubbish everything I knew about their comic is gone so this reads just as intended, as a fun little build-up to the chaos (hopefully) to come.
The Meddling Monk’s chameleon circuit hasn’t been damaged and his ship turns into a futuristic outside loo
We arrive on Earth on an undisclosed future date and catch a tantalising glimpse of the world the upcoming comic will have as its setting, which I’m hoping we’ll see a lot more of if this first page is anything to go by. TV series villain the Meddling Monk has landed to interfere in the upcoming election but the SeventhDoctor (Sylvester McCoy) isn’t far behind. Brilliantly, unlike the Doc’s TARDIS, the Monk’s chameleon circuit hasn’t been damaged and his ship still tries to disguise itself within its surroundings, turning into a futuristic outside loo.
The Doctor is in hot pursuit though and after damaging the brothers’ car the Monk flies off again before he can put his plan into action. But El’Ape isn’t having it, he needs his insurance details! Putting a gun to the Doctor’s head he tells him to “Follow that TARDIS!”, which is the name of the strip. Locking on to the other TARDIS the first stop is Tunguska, Siberia on 30th June 1908.
If you know your history you may have heard of the Tunguska Event, an explosion caused by a meteor air burst. Basically, an asteroid entered our atmosphere and exploded above the surface of the planet, the resulting burst of super hot air producing what many originally thought was the aftermath of a nuclear explosion. Ridiculous conspiracies grew up around the event and many fictional stories have laid claim to fantastical reasons behind it, this being one such tale.
The explosion (I love the “Kabooooomski!”) flattened over 2000 square kilometres of forest but thankfully there were no officially reported deaths, although some reports have indicated two people may have perished (presented here as survivors with their clothes burnt off their bodies and singed hair in Looney Tunes fashion). The Meddling Monk makes his way to three key historic events in total and each time El’ Ape’s attempts to catch him result in an origin story for said event.
While this is generally a zany comedy strip, I’m no longer sure about the next bit of the story.
That’s right, they end up on board the ill-fated maiden voyage of a certain ship built just down the road from my house. Now to be fair back in 1989 the wreckage of Titanic had only been found four years previous by Bob Ballard and it was popping up everywhere in popular fiction, but the movie which highlighted the tragedy of the lives lost was still eight years away. (The museum here in Belfast that I’ve visited countless times was still 23 years away!) But with hindsight, with much more knowledge today of the sinking and the human cost, this feels in particularly bad taste nowadays.
I know that was never the intention, I hope I’ve made that clear, but I review all of the comics on the blog as I find them today. Convinced the Monk’s TARDIS has disguised itself as a giant iceberg up ahead (no, really) El’ Ape takes control and goes full ahead to ram him and hopefully sink his TARDIS and capture him. The sequence finishes with the silhouette of the ship going down, a few lifeboats of survivors being all that’s left of life on board and the sound effect of the TARDIS.
Not only does this not sit well with me but I just don’t think the Doctor would ever have allowed it to happen. The Tunguska Event is one thing, in this version it just singed a couple of people. Then the final event in the strip involves the Bermuda Triangle as Flight 19 (each time period brought to the page by a different artistic team really works a treat) is accidentally taken through time. But we know the Titanic saw the deaths of over 1,500 people. That’s not something for the Doctor to basically think, ‘Whoops, better get out of here before I’m caught’!
Throughout the strip Deadbeat has his nose in a book which he seems to be getting more and more engrossed by as the story goes on. On the last page we see he wasn’t ignoring what was happening around him, in fact each time he was trying to stop his brother from causing these bad things to happen, almost as if he knew what consequences their actions were going to have. As the story draws to a close the Doctor kicks the brothers out of his TARDIS and takes off with the captured Monk, then Deadbeat throws his book away and we finally see what he was reading all along.
Okay, so exactly why was the sinking of the Titanic in a book about ‘Unexplained Mysteries and Disasters’? Anyway, despite the passage of time and the acquiring of much Titanic knowledge (it’s become a fascination of mine this past decade or so) resulting in one part of this strip taking on a whole new meaning, I can appreciate when it was written and that I probably would’ve just found it daft at the time. However, The Sleeze Brothers themselves have definitely made an impression.
They may not be much more than a spot of comic relief, and the whole story could be summed up that way as well, but they’re really fun comic relief. Despite essentially no information on who they are or why they guest starred in this Doctor Who strip (if you didn’t know their own comic was on the way), they still come across as well defined characters, as clear individuals with potential depth. As a tease for what’s to come it’s made me impatient for their premiere issue.
Right now though, I want to take a quick dive into one particular subject in the rest of this issue of Doctor Who Magazine.
The last time I showed a strip from DWM I also included what was a brief mention of an up and coming Doctor Who story called Remembrance of the Daleks. It would be part of the 25th series’ anniversary celebrations and the first appearance of his longest-surviving enemies for the Seventh Doctor. Because of this, marketing went into overdrive and the Daleks were everywhere. The hype pulled me right in and I can remember sitting down to watch part one of that story in my bedroom.
I was amazed by it. It seemed like a completely different show to the one I’d seen my older siblings watch years before. Several months after its transmission this issue published an episode guide for the season, an interview with the story’s writer and plenty of discussion about what still remains (36 years later) one of my very favourite stories from the show. While it’s a bit cheeky to say the eight-page episode guide is “free” on the cover (in reality the issue was only four more pages than normal), it does contain that lovely opening page above on glossy paper.
It’s less of an episode guide and more of a list of things that were left out from the final production, but it stills bring back happy memories of the four weeks it was on and the anticipation for the next part after each belter of a cliffhanger. Much more in-depth is the four-page interview with writer Ben Aaronovitch. Given this was his first commissioned strip for the show it’s a hell of an ambitious first foray into the world of the Doctor.
There are some interesting nuggets of information there such as the fact there was meant to be more of a focus on the whole “more than just a Time Lord” thing, which reminds me of the recent Timeless Child story that also injected some much needed mystery back into the character, and which I’m excited to see play out in future seasons. Also, when Ben mentions that ‘Masters of the Universe’ thing, it’s a reference to Dalek flying gun platforms based on something similar in the awful He-Man film from 1987. BBC budgets being what they were, this was changed to the Special Weapons Dalek, a fan favourite design to this day.
Elsewhere, a writer by the name of David J. Howe is adamant that Remembrance has to have been set in an alternative universe because it simply doesn’t gel with his own conclusions about the Doctor’s past from previous series. This sounds an awful lot like certain ‘fans’ online in recent years and in a piece by Gary Russell about the story The Greatest Show in the Galaxy it appears certain types aren’t confined to the modern era and social media (check out that middle paragraph).
Finally, on the back page is an advert for the William Tell graphic novel. This collected together the unpublished strips created for a new fortnightly comic that was cancelled before it had even launched (advertised in Marvel UK comics the previous year). With that, it’s time to wrap up this jaunt back to 1989 aboard the TARDIS and look forward to the first issue of The Sleeze Brothers proper.
As I’ve said previously I only ever read the first issue of their comic at the time and haven’t since 1989, yet the way they acted in this tiny tease of a strip feels so familiar to me. The idea of full-length, full-colour strips on a monthly basis with these two as the stars is almost too much excitement to contain for another three months! But that’s what I must do because the review of #1 of The Sleeze Brothers won’t be here until Monday 24th June 2024.
This month’s strip may have an extra page. It may end on a splash page of the whole team pledging they’ll never stop fighting injustice. The cover may be a special painted one by Geoff Senior (Steel does look a bit like an alien panther, although if he were it’d fit his personality). The story may be called End of the Road. However, there’s no editorial mention that this is the final issue of Dragon’s Claws.
While the story makes it pretty clear this is the end, how clear it would’ve been to a much, much younger me at the time, I do not know. The comic was devised as an ongoing title and there had even been a subscription offer in the early issues, so I’m just a little surprised there isn’t even a small note about its cancellation. It was mentioned in the pages of Transformers, I remember that.
I mustn’t quibble. It’s now 2024 and I knew this moment was coming, as much as I didn’t want it to. End of the Road begins with this thrilling opening of a hijacked chemical waste transporter with both Dragon and Deller attempting a rescue. It appears after everything that happened last time they’re at least trying to work together. The tension between them does make for some funny dialogue here and there, reminding me of some of the best buddy cop movies of the 80s.
Elsewhere, in Switzerland, we see Ambassador Golding fresh from his ordeal in the last couple of issues and standing up for the Claws at the headquarters of the World Development Council. Isolated amongst snowy peaks, their clear separation from the people they’re meant to serve is echoed by the way their chambers of power tower over anyone wishing to speak with them. On this occasion, Golding is here to plead the case for the innocence of the Game team.
Clearly just as corrupt as modern day governments, all they’re concerned about is saving their own backsides. Golding becomes enraged with them at one point in this issue and I’ve really grown to like the character, one that I assumed was just a one-off hostage to be rescued back in #4. On a side note, at one point the chairman addresses the entire board as “gentlemen”. Sigh. Not one single woman anywhere to be seen. No wonder the world is falling apart, we clearly haven’t learned any lessons from the past.
We jump about some more and head off to Havana in Cuba a few hours earlier to catch up with Tanya, her father and Michael, her son (and Dragon’s adoptive son) and they’re still hostages of ex-Game team Shrine. Kurran is leading his team on supposed holy missions to weed out evil, but in actual fact it’s all a front for death, destruction and getting rich. Still believing Tanya’s family to be related to Deller, who paid Kurran’s brother’s team to attack Dragon in #1 (resulting in his death), Tanya finally lets the truth slip to one of the more rational Shrine members.
I’m very happy to see I wasn’t wrong about this story arc being the focus of the final issue, as they deserve a proper ending unlike some of the smaller arcs which were concluded off-page last time. The hijacker of the chemical waste transport pops up here too, hired by Kurran to smuggle a defector out of the country to safety and at this point we return to the battle to regain control. We also check in on Golding’s speech to the council, including a specific example of the Claws’ good work.
Anyway, back on the road and Dragon and Deller’s working relationship (if we can call it that) is so enjoyable it breaks my heart to know we won’t get any more of this! It feels like such an 80s action flick again, just like those first two issues did, especially Deller’s very 80s-action-man one-liner in the midst of the action. This is a blast! Finally for this scene, our unnamed court jester looks like he’s about to dispose of the defector, but instead just plops a clown nose on him. Another character I’m left wanting to have seen more of.
Holden, the defector, seems to have gone to the wrong person to get him safely out of the country and he soon realises his error; upon finding out it was Dragon that saved him he gladly tells him all about Shrine, Tanya, Michael and where to find them. We now flash forward to the team arriving in full force upon Shrine’s base, the arrival of their craft The Pig sending Kurran into a panic and ordering Strength to eliminate all of ‘Deller’s’ family.
Now fully aware of who they really are, Strength sees to their escape instead but Tanya hands Michael to her father and tells Strength to get them to the ship. In keeping with her character she knows the full force of Dragon’s Claws are about to come down hard on the place and she won’t have anyone die because of her, not even those who kidnapped her family.
All hell breaks loose, Dragon crashing through doors all guns blazing and it looks like Tanya’s unhappy prediction is coming true. Was she right about Dragon’s wish to win at all costs? When push comes to shove would he let her down, even as he rescues her? Will his emotions get in the way of justice? Actually, no. While things start off as a typical action movie climax, the usual body count never happens.
Writer Simon Furman is clearly trying to leave readers exhausted after an incredible ten months
Instead, the team incapacitate each member of Shrine, one by one, then picking them up and getting them to safety so they can face justice and jail. But upon crashing through one of those doors, Dragon accidentally knocks over a flaming torch, setting fire to drapes nearby and soon the entire complex is burning, ready to come down at a moment’s notice. Just as they’re about to go after Kurran himself (Dragon’s instructions being to shoot to wound only) Tanya screams at them all to stop!
She shouts at the whole team, their storming in has caused the fire and stopped Michael and her father getting to safety. These are the consequences of Dragon’s actions, something she’s been trying to get through to him since the very beginning of the comic. Writer Simon Furman is really cranking up the tension in this issue, clearly trying to leave readers exhausted after an incredible ten months. As Dragon rushes off to find Michael, we quickly check in on Deller. Is he really a reformed member of the team after his heroics over the last few months?
That would be a ‘no’. Rationally speaking, this was always going to be the outcome here, wasn’t it? Deller couldn’t have Dragon finding out he was responsible for everything that happened in #1, and for everything that Dragon, Tanya and Michael have gone through since. But I was so swept up in the story, and in what I thought was Deller’s redemption, that this was a genuinely shocking moment. To see Deller in the final page of the story (see below) as part of the team just heightens that feeling of loss, because this could’ve made for some brilliantly tense story arcs in future issues.
I’d never read a single issue of the comic before this read through. I’d no idea what to expect, I just knew I was a big fan of the creative team behind it
Then as if that wasn’t enough, tragedy strikes. For a second I thought it was Michael who got killed by the falling beam but a closer glance sees him safe in Dragon’s arms. There’s very little in the way of dialogue and no captions on this particular page but it doesn’t need them. Geoff Senior’s art is dramatic enough. Heightened by Steve White’s colours, it’s the final shocking twist of not just this chapter but the whole comic.
I’ll get back to the final few pages of the strip in a second. First, the only extra feature in this issue is Scavenger’s fact file. For the most mysterious of the team there’s little here needing answers in further stories. I do love the little mentions of how the world at large has changed (mention of ‘the Austro-Zealand crosslands’) and I would’ve loved to have seen a story based on The Tunnel Wars. The rest we’ve actually seen already. (I guess very little was known about him after all!)
However, I wanted to finish the review with the final splash page of the strip, so back to the last pages of the story we go and Tanya has run off, never to be seen again. Back at Dragon’s Nest, Golding confirms the W.D.C. has agreed to let the Claws continue the work they were doing above and beyond (and in spite of) Matron’s orders, with Golding now as their direct supervisor, and in exchange the W.D.C. will use their resources to track Tanya down. It’s kind of like the situation with Archangel overlooking the crew of the Airwolf working for The F.I.R.M.
In that 80s action show Stringfellow Hawke recovered the stolen Airwolf helicopter but kept it until The F.I.R.M. could locate his M.I.A. brother, working on covert missions for Archangel in the meantime. This all adds up to this final Dragon’s Claws chapter feeling like a new beginning, almost as if the ten issues were one long origin story. Of course, if the comic had continued indefinitely this ten-issue arc may have gone on much longer, but as it stands now it feels as if everything is finally in place, that it was all leading to this moment and the tales of Dragon’s Claws can really begin away from readers’ eyes.
“Dragon’s Claws were reactivated to bring order to chaos, to make this rotten world a better place for children”
Dragon
So a very open ending then. I’d never read a single issue of the comic before this read through. I’d no idea what to expect, I just knew I was a big fan of the creative team behind it. I wasn’t let down. This has been an incredible series and I can see why it’s still held in such high regard today. I can confirm after reading it now, even without any form of rose-tinted glasses fans may have, that I’d highly recommend it to anyone. Each issue usually goes for a few quid on eBay so it won’t cost you the Earth and they’ll be worth every single penny. So long Claws, it’s been an absolute hoot.
This striking John Higgins (Transformers, Batman: The Killing Joke, Before Watchmen) cover welcomes us to the fifth issue and, after reading it, the midway point of Marvel UK’s Death’s Head. When I collected together this run of comics I noticed a lot of crossovers with other Marvel characters on the covers, especially in the later issues. No, I never read anything inside (just counted the pages to make sure it was all there), but the covers do reveal a lot of who is to come.
I remember thinking it seemed there were an awful lot of what would normally be seen as ‘event’ stories, perhaps to raise the profile of the comic with potential readers, however I was surprised to see this issue has the first non-Dragon’s Claws crossover character. Okay, so he’s a minor character from one Doctor Who strip but it was still a nice surprise to see the Doctor mentioned again after he was so instrumental in Death’s Head’s own story.
Keepsake appeared in #140 of Doctor Who Magazine (August 1988) when a distress signal lured him to a planet where he originally just wanted to salvage the crashed ship for parts. Instead, he ended up enjoying the actual rescue thanks to working with the Doctor and at the end of the story the Doctor left the rescued medic, Bahlia, in Keepsake’s care. This is where we pick things up.
Oh, and he has a pet vulture who reminds him of his wife.
John drew Keepsake’s DWM adventure and is also the artist for our strip this month, coloured by Nick Abadzis and lettered by Annie Halfacree. You’ll see even more of John’s work soon because he was one of five(!) artists when The Sleeze Brothers made their Doctor Who Magazine debut. Watch out for that later this month. Back to the issue at hand and speaking of Keepsake’s wife it looks like she’s hiring a certain Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent to track him down, promising a somewhat large reward too.
Not that Death’s Head is easily swayed, of course. Meanwhile, Keepsake is meeting with gangsters looking for the second half of a map to the aforementioned gold shipment. Editor Richard Starkings told me, “‘Half the map’ was my idea, as was ‘half the gold’ in Death’s Head #5. Never waste a good gag.” Keepsake doesn’t come across as the smartest of scavengers and is easily double-crossed, so the men make off with both halves of said map.
Death’s Head is very much the lighter-hearted comic of the pair, while Dragon’s Claws can be much darker
After reading the penultimate issue of Dragon’s Claws the contrast between the two titles has never been clearer. Despite being created and written by the same person, and despite the fact this comic has the word “Death” in its title and follows someone whose job it is to kill people, Death’s Head is very much the lighter-hearted comic of the pair, while the one about a game team gone rogue can be much darker. Not what people may expect, and I’m here for it!
Case in point below, as we get a lot of exposition from Thea about how Colt (the gangster) and Keepsake had double-crossed each other in the past over this shipment (hence the two parts of the map) and a seemingly endless amount of further double-crosses involving Thea and her husband, leading to this point. Clearly, no one can be trusted. But it’s Death’s Head’s reaction to this intriguing story that made me laugh, never mind Keepsake’s pet sneakily sampling what they thought was Colt’s water.
With Keepsake easily cheated out of his piece of the map he sits about moping, making him an easy target for our Peace-Keeper, however first of all we get a funny interlude of some of the more rudimentary detective work our anti-hero has to do in order to find his targets. Remembering this is the same mechanoid who helped take down the giant Lord of Chaos Unicron just makes this sequence all the funnier, especially the last two panels; the question mark, the hint at the top of the penultimate panel and the final reveal.
This seems to be a trend in the comic, at least for what makes me laugh the most. Take his name, his appearance and his occupation and you’d expect something completely different than the situations writer Simon Furman consistently places him in.
Death’s Head catches up with the sullen Keepsake and calls in Thea to meet him at the bar, where he’s trying his best to ‘persuade’ his target. Just before this Thea saw Colt kidnap Bahlia outside, clearly as protection against the salvage expert as they dive for the treasure out at sea. It looks like Keepsake’s pet wasn’t much use as protection either.
Our strange little threesome (Spratt is conspicuous by his absence this month, perhaps still recovering from his ordeal last time) soon track down the gangsters not far from the shore in a tiny boat, Bahlia tied up and a gun held on her. At this point I thought Death’s Head would be going alone to take on everyone involved but I was pleasantly surprised to see his plan involved all three of them. I was even more pleasantly surprised to see how well they worked together.
While the old trick of sending in the attractive woman to distract three male idiots wasn’t exactly new even in the 80s, for me the jokes come from how Death’s Head and Thea handle the men after that. There’s one particular guy who won’t be forgetting the impact Thea makes (literally) for quite some time, I’m sure. It’s the perfect example of the comedy-action this comic does best and there’s more to come that genuinely had me giggling.
The first two panels really did have me laughing, the sight of Death’s Head’s daring rescue coming so completely undone so quickly
As they make their way out on a boat to rescue Bahlia and recover the gold, Keepsake hovers overhead in his aircraft, ready to assist. But one previously concealed rocket launcher lends a sinking feeling to the first part of their plan. The first two panels below really did have me laughing, the sight of Death’s Head’s daring rescue coming so completely undone so quickly, and this image of what the notorious hunter of bounties (I didn’t said it!) is reduced to is hilarious.
He then uses thrusters in the soles of his feet to blast off and use his body as a different form of rocket launcher, although clearly the end result wasn’t quite his intention.
So far it’s been a comedy of errors but it’s swung generously in his favour. As the man on the boat desperately seals the hole with pieces of wood and some form of foam glue he doesn’t see Bahlia being hoisted to safety, taking all of the gold with her. Below the surface Death’s Head subdues the remaining divers before taking off again with his feet… right through the patched up hole. So far, so funny, but the page below contains something which didn’t sit quite right with me.
Death’s Head has always honoured his contracts. This was the first of the rules he established in #1, rules he always abides by. They’re part of what makes him and his stories so interesting. Think about when he was fighting Dragon in #2 even though he respected the man. He kept fighting until the exact second his contract with the villain of the story ran out and then he just stopped. That was such a great part of that story and told us a lot about his character (this aspect had already been well established in Transformers). But here a quick whisper in his ear from Keepsake and he chucks his client out the side.
After this, Death’s Head then double-crosses Keepsake and ends up with all the gold himself. That I can live with since Keepsake was a snake and not his client, but Leah was. Even though he didn’t like her, this is so out of character that it undermines things already established in earlier issues. It’s a strange inclusion, that’s for sure.
Again, the cliffhanger is underwhelming as we see a group of apparent mercenaries called Sudden Impact being introduced and recalled from a firefight for “a vitally urgent job”. Last month’s final page introduced another man with a gun called Big Shot but there’s no sign of him this month. Are all of these clichéd, hyper-muscled alpha males going to team up against Death’s Head? I trust Simon’s writing but so far I’m not particularly impressed with these potential adversaries.
So another brilliant issue, even if it was let down a bit by the final couple of pages, but I won’t dwell on them. This feels almost like an interlude story of some kind, especially with the lack of Spratt. In an action-comedy comic series this one leaned more towards complete farce and I was fine with that (until the ending). Enjoyable but forgettable then. I still can’t wait for the next issue though. That’ll be right here on Monday 1st April 2024.
The front cover to this fourth issue of Death’s Head may be drawn by the familiar team of Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer but inside Plague Dog is drawn by renowned Transformers artist Lee Sullivan (also Havoc (RoboCop), Doctor Who), with Annie Halfacree on letters, Nick Abadzis colouring and Simon Furman writing of course, with Richard Starkings editing. While I love Geoff Senior’s art being in every issue of Dragon’s Claws, I like the mixing of styles here.
Last month we saw Death’s Head’s new office wasn’t the perfect purchase Spratt seemed to think it was, having spent his new partner’s hard earned cash before he’d earned it. This issue sees that picked up and developed into two separate stories, one for each of our main characters. While our mechanoid anti-hero is hired by one gangster to hunt down and kill his rival’s pet mutt, Spratt comes face-to-face with it in their new property.
We kick things off with Death’s Head arriving at Jules ‘Kneecap’ Venici’s birthday party in his usual understated style. A huge birthday cake arrives but Venici has seen this movie before and fills it full of lead. Surprised at finding no one inside he still insists on killing whoever sent it because his own actions have made him look stupid. He then sits down to eat a slice, not noticing the highly conspicuous waiter in his latest in a long line of ridiculous wigs.
Predictably a huge shoot-out occurs between all of the gangsters and our lone hero, although even in this dire situation there’s time for some comedy. Elsewhere, Spratt is checking out their new digs and the lights are out. After we see a clawed hand swiping down in the darkness he lets out a blood-curdling scream and we’re led to believe the hand has made contact, until you read the following caption. Simon once again playing with our expectations.
I particularly like Spratt’s reaction to the sound effect of the plague dog, the alien monster used by Venici to take revenge out on those who wrong him. Last month we saw someone who looked like an undertaker sell the office to Spratt and in this issue we find out he is in fact called The Undertaker, a killer-for-hire whose method of assassination is somewhat gruesome.
But yes, that sound effect. We get all sorts of wording to describe sounds in our comics. Sometimes they’re downright bizarre to say the least. The fact Spratt correctly names this rather random sound effect is very funny and just shy of the character breaking the fourth wall and identifying he’s in a comic. It genuinely made me laugh. Back in the other half of the story, as the issue constantly flicks back and forth between the two scenes, Death’s Head is still at it even when cornered and out of ammunition.
Death by cocktail sausages! As a form of getting back at the bad guys it seems appropriate for this blog. Death’s Head isn’t the only one up against the odds, nothing to shoot with and having to use his ingenuity to get out of a tough scrape. As the rotten internals of the office building collapse around him, Spratt is trying desperately to escape but is hopelessly out of his depth.
In fact, the crumbling of the building saves him on more than one occasion, luck playing a huge part in keeping him alive. He could be learning a thing or two from his new boss though, or perhaps they’re just more suited than the mechanoid realises, because despite his fear (or perhaps because of it) he can’t help making quips.
Slipping out of his boot and shoving it into the monster’s mouth (complete with another joke) he makes a run outside and finds a car parked (well, hovering, it’s in the future after all). This is Spratt’s speciality. Quietly boosting cars is a particularly useful skill that Death’s Head needs him for. There’s a little bit of tension here as Spratt struggles to get inside, panicking as the plague dog bears down on him.
The engine doesn’t immediately kick in either and the tension rises further as the thing makes a leap for him and crashes through the rear window, clawing at the interior, getting closer and closer to Spratt until it finally places a claw on his shoulder. The escape vehicle now seems to have become a death trap. We know Spratt can’t die, but even if he takes off surely the thing’s head and arm are already inside so what can he do? Well…
Just like last month when an accidental slip of the hand by Spratt turned the tide of battle, here his mistake with the gears sends him rocketing backwards, squashing the monster against the building. Fuel tank ruptured, the dog roaring out to his “Foood!” as it starts to push the car off itself, Spratt characteristically can’t help but bask in his glorious victory, no matter how accidental.
The final spread of the issue sees The Undertaker making a phone call, apparently to activate the plague dog at its lair. So are we to assume he actually sold the lair to Spratt? His job also done, Death’s Head makes his way to the office and finds chaos has ensued, although Spratt seems somewhat subdued and not showing off for once. Of course, our mechanoid friend can always turn a situation around when money is concerned and our story ends.
On the next page a somewhat tacked on cliffhanger has The Undertaker hiring someone called Big Shot, a muscly man with a big gun. I can’t help but be a little underwhelmed with this after last month’s ending. Surely having a plague dog lying in wait was the more dramatic cliffhanger. I’m aware I haven’t read the next issue to see how good this guy is with his gun, but I feel this is a bit of a muted ending by comparison and the two should’ve been the other way around.
Head to Head is the comic’s new letters page and there’s an anonymous letter from my home city of Belfast. Although, if this person had actually read Death’s Head’s adventures in Transformers and properly understood them I don’t see how they could think he’s commonly seen as a full-blown villain. Not too sure who “Bob” is that the first letter is addressed to (Richard Starkings is the editor and Jenny O’Connor the Managing Editor) but there’s definitely a lot of high praise here and I agree with it all.
I just wish Lierne Elliot had been right when he said “seems we have a hit here”. Of course, it may have seemed that way at the time, especially since this was a comic based on a very popular character from another Marvel UK title, but alas the sales figures wouldn’t be good enough to make up for the cost of producing the comic, as Richard explained to me in the introductory post to this series.
But let’s not dwell on that, we’ve another six months of this to go!
On the back page is an advertisement for a new fortnightly Marvel comic that would never actually appear. The William Tell TV series was apparently shown on ITV, although I don’t ever remember seeing it advertised. There’s a chance it either wasn’t broadcast on Northern Ireland’s UTV or it didn’t last long before ITV pulled the plug, despite it running for three seasons of 72 30-minute episodes in France and elsewhere, where it was known as Crossbow.
I remember this comic advert alerting me to the TV series and yet I still never caught it in any TV listings magazines. Marvel’s confidence must’ve been knocked as the plan for a fortnightly changed to a Summer Special, an annual and a run of strips in the Marvel Bumper Comic, plus a collected graphic novel, the strips for all of these already created for the defunct fortnightly. This is why I think the show must’ve failed to pick up viewers here in the UK, as Marvel suddenly realised the audience wasn’t there for what they’d assumed was going to be a hit.
You just might see some of it on the blog at some point though, as the Bumper Comic is on the cards for the future, I just don’t know when yet, but you heard it hear first! (As if you’d hear it anywhere else.) For now, that’s us finished with another outing for Death’s Head… well, really more of an outing for Spratt this month. We return to Earth of the far future on Monday 4th March 2024.
Last month there was a feeling this fantastic comic was shifting gears towards a suddenly imposed ending, which with hindsight we know is coming in #10. At the very end of this penultimate issue of Dragon’s Claws it feels like there’s a rush to finish it all off before the unfortunate cancellation. For the majority of the strip however this isn’t obvious and it’s another belter of a chapter with these sadly short-lived characters.
The issue’s FastFax, normally a way of adding depth to the world in which the comic resides or hinting about future storylines or guest characters, is a more straightforward ‘Story So Far’ page like we’d get in other comics. While the fictional news service would obviously focus on the events in N.U.R.S.E.’s headquarters, it adds to the feeling of the title wrapping things up, when I was so used to this page being used as a way of looking forward. A sad reminder the end is nearly here.
The strip itself is called Treatment and the main focus is Matron’s capture of both Dragon and The Evil Dead’s leader Slaughterhouse. All three of them are linked up to a mind control machine Matron uses as a way of accessing their memories, then torturing them with those same memories. Yes, it’d be much easier to just kill them both and she mentions this at one point, but like all the best James Bond villains she wants to have her fun first.
She’s completely confident in her success and feels the destruction of both teams and the deaths of Deller and Golding are inevitable, so she wants to drag it out and savour it as much as possible. Despite an underwhelming cliffhanger involving Matron last month, the character is superbly written by Simon Furman here, her psychotic nature making me wish we’d seen more of her all along.
We get to see inside the minds of both team leaders, with Dragon being made to watch as his wife Tanya and son Michael confront him before being killed by Deller, which as we know didn’t happen despite Matron’s orders. In fact, I’m assuming their arc will be the final part of the story to get wrapped up next time. In a particularly dark and shocking scene Deller shoots and kills the young boy! We see the shot and then his dead body on the ground in the next panel!
It’s all rather harrowing for a Marvel UK title young Transformers fans may have been collecting after it was heavily promoted in that comic. Outside of his mind we see Dragon curled up and crying desperately, his own insecurities around the ones he loves leading to that scene playing out in his mind, Matron merely triggering them rather than forcing the scenario. At this point I was intrigued as to what resided in Slaughterhouse’s mind!
But first we head back down the building to catch up with the rest of the characters. Matron has seen on her screens that Stenson is dead, The Evil Dead and Dragon’s Claws are about to decimate each other’s ranks and World Development Council ambassador Golding and Deller are trapped in a burning room dozens of floors up from the ground. No wonder she’s confident.
For the unlikely pairing of Golding and Deller there’s only one option for escape, and that’s out the window and back in again to a different room. There’s a pole sticking out from the building which Deller can use to swing out and back in again through another window, then break down the locked door to get Golding out. But first he must overcome his fear of heights!
This is something that hasn’t cropped up before simply because the story has never put him in such a position. It adds drama to a sequence that plays out over a few pages scattered throughout the rest of the issue. In fact, we come back a few pages later to see he’s frozen to the spot and it’s Golding who encourages him to take the leap, to believe in himself after all the humiliation he’s faced in previous issues (albeit by screaming at him).
There’s a definite theme this issue of people from all sorts of backgrounds and from completely different sides coming together to fight a greater enemy. An enemy that’s using them all, that’s creating division and fomenting hatred to turn the populace against each other for their own selfish needs. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Dragon’s Claws could easily be released today and be just as relevant, if not more so than it was in the 80s.
Death Nell and Steel’s romantic history gives the story an opening to bring the two teams together to launch a united frontal assault on the upper floors of the building where the majority of security has amassed to protect Matron. As a reader you know it’s coming, even as the opposing sides continue to fight, Mercy in particular sticking the boot in. (Boom, boom!)
On a side note, I was surprised to read Nell saying, “Wise Up!” because as far as my friends and I were concerned this was always a Northern Ireland phrase. Indeed, when I used it myself in Scotland with some friends there in my teenage years it completely confused them. Perhaps we were wrong, but most likely it’s just a coincidence and wasn’t known to be a popular phrase in this part of the UK.
It’s at this point we finally get a look into the mind of Slaughterhouse. I was really looking forward to this and Simon doesn’t disappoint. His memories start off hard with an abusive father hitting him with a baseball bat because Slaughterhouse’s own mum died during child birth. Damn, this goes dark. This was enough to lead him to a life of crime, then once captured the corrupt government experimented on him in return for reducing his sentence.
The side effects included his pointed teeth, his skin colour and blood red eyes and Slaughterhouse, who was very much the victim of his life’s circumstances, couldn’t handle it and he turned on the whole world, the world that had beaten him down so cruelly time and again. But his mind was lost by this stage and he began killing people, seeing everyone as an imaginary enemy, and within just a couple of pages Slaughterhouse’s entire origin story is told.
“We do this my way!” “The weak way… the stupid way!” “Let’s just kill ’em!” “Try it, curly!”
Dragon’s Claws and The Evil Dead
We can only guess if it would’ve been told at this stage (or so quickly) had the comic not been cancelled but somehow it doesn’t feel rushed. In fact, it just makes me lament the fact we can’t see more character development for him now that we (and Dragon) know the truth. The whole chapter is a great piece for both leads. Dragon’s own insecurities while leading his team and in his position in the world could’ve made for a wonderfully deep character too.
As the Claws and The Evil Dead make an uneasy alliance to take down N.U.R.S.E. and rescue their respective leaders, the two men’s minds are thrown into a climactic final battle, one which Matron fully expects will mentally tear them apart, leaving them gibbering wrecks and essentially dead. But she hasn’t reckoned on the power of said minds. Dragon slowly realises he’s in his old Game uniform and tries to convince Slaughterhouse it’s all fake.
He does so through reasoning. Yes, they’re physically fighting of course, we have to have our action in an action comic, but they come to realise they’re flip sides of the same coin, that they both do what they do because they believe in it, they’ve both been manipulated into becoming what they are and they agree giving in now would be the easy way out. But they don’t do easy. For once the hardest thing to do isn’t to fight each other, it’s to work together and they turn their minds on Matron’s.
They start to take her mind down in another physical battle but we’re inside her thoughts now so she’s all-powerful and the two men have to fight side-by-side if they’re to survive. Dragon only wants her beaten, so she can face justice for her crimes in the real world, but Slaughterhouse can’t stop himself. His thirst for revenge is too much and inside the mind machine he slits her throat just as Nell does so to her physical body.
It’s a shock ending but then it all kind of deflates on the next page, the final one of the strip. In just five panels we get a lot of exposition and explanations about what takes place next instead of actually seeing anything. The Evil Dead are let go, Dragon knowing they could never work together, Deller is somewhat redeemed in his own eyes, the team decide what they’re going to do now their employer is no more… a lot happens ‘off-screen’, dealt with through a very quick conversation between the team.
I understand the next issue is the last and it’ll most likely wrap things up for the Dragon family’s arc, but so many other important story arcs just seem discarded far too easily, like one of those final scenes you’d see at the end of an old 80s cartoon. To be clear, it’s only disappointing because of the quality of what came before, not just in this exciting chapter but in the whole run up to now.
The team should be incredibly proud of this chapter though. Writer Simon Furman, artist Geoff Senior, colourist Steve White and editor Richard Starkings are to be congratulated. What the final page lacks is what the other 21 pages do superbly, quickly wrapping up as much of the main story as possible without feeling rushed. Which is why page 24 feels so unlike what we’ve come to expect.
To round off this penultimate review is Digit’s fact-file and more interesting tidbits of information on Dragon’s teammate that would’ve been elaborated on in future issues. These include the fact he’s Scottish, a missing amount of time in his life and just how stable/unstable he actually is. I bet his lost memories would’ve made for some great stories. Instead, we must say goodbye. That’ll happen a little over a month from now. The final issue didn’t go on sale the same day as Death’s Head for the first time, instead it appeared a week later. So watch out for the review of #10 of Dragon’s Claws on Monday 11th March 2024.
