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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #10: A STARK ENDiNG

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It’s been such a fun ride but all good things must come to an end (to use two clichés) and this is the final issue of Marvel UK’s Death’s Head, which came to an exciting end on this day 35 years ago when he clashed with Arno Stark, the Iron Man of (the then-futuristic year of) 2020. The cover is by regulars Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer, but for the strip itself Bryan goes it alone, with Euan Peters (Knights of Pendragon, Action Force, Transformers colourist/designer/editor) colouring behind Annie Halfacree’s letters, with Steve White editing and Simon Furman bringing it all to an end.

Not that the story reads like an ending. Strangely, even though the final issues of both Dragon’s Claws and Death’s Head were flagged as such in the editorial pages of Transformers, neither of their last editions actually said so, although with hindsight it’s clear the editorial team knew. While the Head Lines page still includes the “Subscribe Now!” banner it’s followed by a glimpse of Death’s Head crossing back over into Fantastic Four after they’d appeared in #9. It’s clear this is telling us where we can see him now that his comic is over, but at the time it could easily be mistaken for a regular plug for a crossover before #11.

Now trapped in 2020 (what a year to be sent to!) Death’s Head is making the most of things and business is good. In fact, in a turn up for the books, for once the far future dystopian time of the comic (8162) actually has less crime than 2020 according to our main character. So he can afford to be choosy. As such, he’s suspicious about his latest client. But first, let’s check in on our special guest.

Both of Iron Man of 2020’s stories so far were selected as back up strips in Marvel UK’s Transformers comic

So who is the Iron Man of 2020? Arno Stark may have inherited Stark Industries but he’s no hero. Instead, he uses the suit in his role as a mercenary for hire for individuals and sabotage for corporations. This was his third appearance in Marvel comics. The first was in the rebooted Machine Man of 2020 mini-series where the old tech of Machine Man won over the futuristic Iron Man thanks to his having a good heart.

Then in Spider-Man, in a plot I won’t go into detail about Arno travelled back in time to 1986 to avert a disaster involving his home city, his business and his family. But his means of doing so put him at odds with Spidey, who defeated him. Upon returning to the future his entire city had been destroyed, taking his family with it. In a surprise turn, we were left feeling sorry for him. Both of these stories were selected as back up strips in Marvel UK’s Transformers comic.

There’s no mention here of the events in the Spider-Man strip but he is in New York, a different city than normal so it would seem to follow on after it. In the opening pages we find out he’s been hired to protect some foreign dignitaries. The only thing is, they don’t seem to understand why; they haven’t hired him and say they aren’t in danger. Some hitmen do turn up and Arno kills them all very easily, after being told to take no prisoners. But something doesn’t sit right with him about the job.

We then take a trip to a large mansion somewhere and a very rich man by the name of Chance and his English butler Athey have been watching the events pan out. In fact, their conversation has acted as a running commentary over the opening pages. They’re part of The Dicemen, a group who appeared in various Marvel comics although there’s little information about them online. They’re basically a bunch of rich elites who like to play games with other people’s lives.

One hard and fast rule of The Dicemen is to never use the same players twice, but Chance thinks there’s more fun to be had in using Iron Man again, especially when Athey shows him a news report of Death’s Head taking down some local warlords. The game is on. Athey will approach both of them, Death’s Head for a hit and Arno as the protector. Then, after eight pages of strip in his own comic it’s time for the Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent to finally make his entrance.

That reminds me of something we’d have seen from RoboCop. I love it. This criminal group have kept a young child hostage for a ransom and Death’s Head easily disposes of them, partly thanks to a collapsing ceiling in the middle of the fight. After seeing him rescuing another young boy last month and how he speaks to this child does our anti-hero have a soft spot we didn’t know about? I do like how the kid is seen playing with his face spikes as they exit the building together.

Arno isn’t the only one suspicious of the job he’s been given. Death’s Head’s inner thoughts betray what he really thinks about Athey after he’s hired to kill two diplomats and given half the large fee up front. It all seems too easy. So both men have been hired and in the middle of a shopping mall the diplomats are arguing with Iron Man that they didn’t ask for, nor need protection as he pushes them into a lift, and it’s time for Death’s Head to tell someone else to talk to the hand.

The fight scene is classic Death’s Head and classic Simon Furman, with the quips matching the violence panel after panel. But Arno is deadly serious and the anger he feels at being potentially set up is taken out on the mechanoid as he blasts them both into the night sky, shouting that he won’t let him butcher innocent people in what feels like (when reading this fully, in context) that he’s trying to convince himself he’s actually doing the right thing. It’s actual character development from someone who only cared about money before. It seems losing his family has brought out his better side.

Then we turn the page to this spread below which contained a genuinely shocking moment had the front cover not used it to promote the story. You can’t really blame them though, of course they were going to use it. Although, from the speech balloon on the cover I thought Death’s Head had taken over Iron Man’s suit somehow, so I was initially a bit disappointed I was wrong in that conclusion. That disappointment soon turned to laughs when I saw what happened next though.

Again his hand is used as a great gag and over the next page or two Death’s Head tells Arno that he believes him and agrees that they should work together to get to the bottom of who has used them, however he’s still angry with him and just has to work that out of his system first, by beating seven shades of blue out of him. Then, clipping his head back into place like a Transformer Headmaster he’s able to detect a camera filming them for Chance and locates the signal controlling it.

Cue a few pages of Chance panicking before Athey, a long time loyal member of The Dicemen himself, shoots his boss point blank in the face and sets the scene up to look like a suicide. He leaves their money in cash so as to trick Death’s Head and Iron Man into hanging around, but they soon pick up a detonation signal and narrowly escape the destruction of the mansion. Then it all very suddenly ends in two panels.

This is directly after the explosion panel. It feels very cut down and a bit of a rushed ending, making way as it does for two pages of panels with yellow borders, telling of how Spratt arrives in 2020 and crashes Death’s Head’s ship, somehow bringing Big Shot with him who takes up the final splash page, coupled with a Happily Ever After caption! While this may have been the original cliffhanger taking us to #11, the rushed ending with Iron Man makes it seem like this whole section was added in at the last minute. But why do this for the final issue?

It’s not how I expected it to end. Yes, Death’s Head has been a surprising comic on many occasions but I did expect something along the lines of how the final chapter of Dragon’s Claws wrapped things up satisfactorily while leaving things open-ended. Was the chop brought down suddenly on the writer? It’d explain why the secretive woman hinted at in the last couple of issues isn’t mentioned, the mystery not revealed, actually not even acknowledged here. That’s incredibly annoying. But perhaps there’s hope in a graphic novel to come. More on that below.

There’s a bit of a dig at those
high up in Marvel UK

After the strip comes the Head to Head letters page and a chance for the comic to throw out more hints that this is the final issue. Perhaps there were instructions from on high to not mention the end for some reason. Perhaps they didn’t want potential buyers flicking through the pages, realising there’d be no more and not buying it. Whereas, mentioning it in stablemate comics may lead those readers to part with their pocket money for a collector’s final issue. This is all speculation of course.

However, as you’ll see there’s a bit of a dig at those high up in Marvel UK in the answer to the first letter. For the second letter, in response to a lack of free gifts the reader is told to go and check out a different comic, but the most obvious (again, with hindsight) hint comes at the end of the response to the final letter. It was always annoying when a comic just stopped without telling us, so kudos to the team for trying to tell the readers without really telling them.

So what’s next for Death’s Head on the blog? Is that the end of it? Not quite. After his original series he popped up in a serialised story in Strip (between #13 and #20) which was then collected in graphic novel The Body in Question. Given the real time nature of the blog you can expect that in October next year. It’s a long wait for me but I set these rules so I must follow them. I can’t wait to read it though. Will I be covering his return as Death’s Head II and III? Let me finish his original timeline first and we’ll see what the future holds.

After that frustrating ending I really can’t wait for the graphic novel to see if any further questions are answered. If they are that would explain some things about this issue. Don’t tell me if you know though! I’ll find out next year. This series has been a blast from beginning to end. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to read his own comic after I enjoyed him in Transformers decades ago, but Death’s Head was certainly worth the wait, yes?

iSSUE NiNE < > THE BODY iN QUESTiON

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #2: ViSiON PROFESSiONALS

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Between the 80’s 3D movie craze and the 90’s fascination with labelling videogames as “interactive movies”, this second edition of Marvel UK’s (under their Epic imprint) The Sleeze Brothers feels perfectly of its time. Written by John Carnell, it’s also perfectly timed for this blog too, given the other classic comic I reviewed the second issue of just six days ago.

The creative team all return this issue. Co-creator Andy Lanning is pencilling, Stephen Baskerville is inking, Steve White is colouring, Bambos Georgiou is lettering and Richard Starkings is editing. With this being a pre-determined mini-series of six issues I’m assuming the whole of the original team will be present and correct for the remaining issues. I certainly hope so. So, on to that opening page and by coincidence it pastiches the movie last week’s comic review was based on.

In a nutshell, the Nexus Infinity Broadcasting network (whose ‘N.I.B.’ logo design is a lot like the Men In Black movie logo, even though this comic came first) is run by The Reverend Smiler While, a man whose grin could give The Joker a run for his money. He’s selling the latest in TV tech, a system that allows the viewer to be completely surrounded by their programmes.

But this isn’t just all-encompassing video, there’s something much more dangerous at play here that makes it the perfect idea for an out-there Sleeze Brothers plot. We get to see the scale of the outfit in question when Smiler hires the brothers and they head to the N.I.B. headquarters in all of its 80s futurism glory. There’s even an Orson Welles-spoof character inside. As a fan of his movies and of course his War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and after the Aliens opener, was this issue made specifically for me?!

The faceless board members are perfect too. But all is not well. It appears Orsum Wurlds isn’t the fantastic creator he thinks he is. In fact, it appears he’s taken more credit than he was due. Is this a take on the behind-the-scenes controversy over the writing of Citizen Kane? Perhaps, but this goes further and has the original creator of the Reel-to-Real technology (a brilliant name) steal the master tape and use it in place of the one selected for broadcast.

The reel is full of test films that produce somewhat severe end results, showing how dangerous the tech is, it’s something N.I.B. want kept secret. Having just experienced a demo of the new Apple Vision Pro in my local Belfast store this comic suddenly feels decades ahead of its time. Although I doubt Tim Cook would want people to experience their immersive videos to this degree. So, after the very rich customers set up their Dalek-like devices, our first family settle down to watch a classic sci-fi flick.

After Star Wars, another family find themselves and their couch on thin ice between Bambi and Thumper with predictable results and then a customer experiences an underwater documentary and finds themselves in deep water… and unable to breathe. Our inept detectives’ case has evolved from theft to multiple homicides and as they make their way through the network’s headquarters the two-pig-headed chief of police spots them and calls out in a way that shocked me, with a sudden use of the ‘r’-word.

Okay, so this was written 35 years ago, a time when unfortunately the weight and real meaning of that word could be brushed aside for the sake of a name-calling joke. However, there’s only so much that can be brushed aside with “it was a different time” and yes, attitudes have thankfully changed for the better, but even in the 80s I remember being taught it was an abusive term and never acceptable. Perhaps for some people it was still a joke term separate from the hateful meaning. I’ll just have to believe that and continue with the rest of the issue. I know there’s simply no way it was meant in any other way by John, or by Marvel UK.

As per usual the brothers getting to the bottom of a case is more down to luck than any sort of detective work. Our thief overhears them interviewing Orsum Worlds, mistakenly thinks they’re on his tail and comes to the conclusion that he’ll just have to get rid of them before they do. He simply calls them up and gives them a meeting time and place which is clearly a trap. But it gives El’ Ape a chance to look good in front of Deadbeat in this funny bit above.

Heading to the research lab at midnight they find themselves in the spotlight, quite literally as Baird (our thief) blinds them with a studio light and starts shooting at them. El’ Ape’s pleading on his knees doesn’t help matters and neither does the dim-witted cleaning assistant who thinks they’re filming a cops and robbers film and decides to get comfy in the control booth, accidentally activating the Reel-to-Real system with all three of the others inside it!

Cue a selection of cameos in what I’m assuming are some of John’s favourites, beginning with Indiana Jones and Tom & Jerry. In the former they just about escape getting crushed by the famous boulder before almost dying at the hands of Baird and some local tribespeople. Then the machine (under the weight of the cleaner’s elbows as he leans in to see what will happen next) turns them into cartoons.

Just as Michael Jordan found out in Space Jam in the next decade, being in a cartoon means your body can be contorted into all sorts of shapes without breaking a single bone. After being flattened with a frying pan by a somewhat creepy version of Tom it’s almost curtains for them again until the master tape whirrs into action once more, then they find themselves stuck to a wall in a rather familiar fashion. And in front of some rather familiar eggs.

So we find ourselves back where we began. Normally I’m not a fan of stories that have an exciting opening, like it’s the starting point of an equally exciting story, only for it to go back in time to see how we got to that stage instead. But this is one of those rare occasions where I haven’t minded it and I’ve enjoyed the ride for the most part, eagerly anticipating this moment returning.

So how are they going to get out of this situation? The Aliens movie plays out for longer than the others so it appears our gormless cleaner isn’t going to be of any accidental help this time. But as they duck for cover underneath a floor grill it becomes clear this is going to play out like the conclusion of the film, so I really should’ve been a Sigourney Weaver-shaped cameo coming.

Well, okay, not exactly playing out like the film. I definitely laughed at that. So with Baird reduced to a puddle in real life too the case is officially closed. But what of the technology? That master tape may not have been the one meant for broadcast but it showed how dangerous the system is, and all in the name of profit. The issue ends with a news bulletin wrapping everything up and successfully placing none of the blame on the network, all before the issue comes to an end with a quick commercial break (below).

I do love this ending. It’s deliciously dark after what has been an even funnier issue than last time. The Sleeze Brothers themselves are more part of an ensemble rather than the stars of the show but it works, the balance between comedy, commentary and character perfectly balanced. It shows these six issues have the potential to produce six very different stories and keep everything fresh and funny until the very end.

We’ll see if I’m right on Monday 26th August 2024 when the review for The Sleeze Brothers #3 hits the blog.

iSSUE ONE < > iSSUE THREE

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Comic Reviews, G.I. Joe, Transformers: Generation 2

G.i. JOE #140: A MiND-BENDiNG iSSUE

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This cover drawn by Chris Batista and Donald Hudson suggests the action is picking up inside and it’s not wrong. Goin’ South is, as ever, written by Larry Hama, Chris is on pencil duties, Chip Wallace inks, Bob Sharen colours and I’m guessing Rick Parker is lettering again although there’s no credit for some reason. Megatron presents The Ark to Cobra Commander as per their agreement after Cobra rebuilt the former Decepticon commander’s body, giving him a brand new form and paint job.

The title spread below initially threw me a bit. The trees on the surface of The Ark after it leaves its hiding place seemed far too small compared to Megatron, making the ship seem too big as a result. But think of them as being in the background and Megatron in the foreground, and remember that the biggest Transformers would be about the size of those trees, and the scale of The Ark suddenly seems spot on.

In the final issues of the original comic we saw The Ark crash land after a spectacular fight on board that involved Megatron, his future self Galvatron, Shockwave and Starscream. With Megatron revived in the prose story in the last annual, I really do love how Larry’s story is keeping faithful to what has gone before. It would’ve been easier to just do a soft reset set a few years later that wouldn’t have contradicted the first series, but which needn’t have deliberately linked back to specific moments. So kudos to him for the fan service.

Over the next few pages we check in on most of our human cast, beginning with Doctor Biggles-Jones being mesmerised by what their scanners are picking up from within The Ark. Then we see Scarlet still in a hospital bed (although inside a helicopter) giving an ominous warning to Slice and Dice that Cobra Commander isn’t going to need their Doctor friend anymore once Mindbender is revived properly, who it was revealed last month has been cloned since their leader seemingly tried to kill him.

It reminds me of a particularly good episode of the War of the Worlds TV series of the 80s

Destro, Baroness and master of disguise Zartan paraglide into the old castle fortress of his design where this all kicked off two issues ago, avoiding the troops and security systems on the ground. Inside they easily gain access to the throne room and take over the people stationed there by Zartan pretending to be their commander, before revealing his true identity and taking them prisoner. I always enjoyed Destro’s subterfuge as the outsider to Cobra (he’s basically an independent arms dealer) and reading this issue I’ve realised how much I’ve missed him and the Baroness characters in particular.

Meanwhile, we head to a place called Milleville in Canada (The Ark crash landed near there) and it looks like Larry’s script calls for the Transformers to be able to fly in robot form as they did in the cartoon of the 80s, something the comic (and thankfully the movies too) didn’t subscribe to. The town isn’t actually deserted. Instead, its populace are almost like mindless zombies thanks to a previous visit by Cobra and Dr. Mindbender’s Brainwave Scanner.

It reminds me of a particularly good episode of the War of the Worlds TV series of the 80s in which the aliens took over the bodies of everyone in a small American town, so I’m all in on the idea here. However, one of the people starts coming out of their hypnotised state. The troops try forcing an electrified helmet on him but he breaks it on the ground, electrifying a nearby puddle. In the struggle he knocks over Mindbender’s glass case, which smashes right on said puddle and electrocutes Mindbender’s non-responsive body.

As they knock out the man and prepare to hypnotise him again, Cobra Commander hilariously requests that somebody “mop up Dr. Mindbender and re-pickle him before he starts to turn again”! He always had a way with words. But this moment is interrupted when the de-pickled body speaks! I really like the lettering here, although it does return to normal by the time Mindbender talks again on the next page when he sees Megatron looming overhead.

As Dr. Mindbender tries to catch up on the state of the world in his absence it’s funny to see what the main issues are for this crazed evil genius

Cobra Commander tells him that trying to bury him alive (alongside everyone else he thought was against him) was a mistake and that this cloning is his way of making it up to him. Even Mindbender comments that he has some gall! Interestingly, Megatron queries if DNA cloning for the reanimation of organic material will be included in their trade. I wonder what he has in mind?

Meanwhile, the Joes have located Cobra and are closing in. Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and the Ninja Force make their way to the town’s hospital to check in on Scarlett and we witness Biggles-Jones telling Scarlett she knows she’s still working for the Joes. Snake draws his blade as he hears this from outside the window but that’s where this particular plot line is left for this month. It’s one I’m particularly interested in seeing develop next time.

I always enjoy Larry’s sense of humour and his natural ability to introduce laugh-out-loud comedy moments in the middle of what are fast moving, action-packed and dramatic plots. Above, the Joes rely on Spirit’s eagle friend for some covert aerial reconnaissance, giving the stoic character a chance to rise a smile with the reader.

But it’s while the Ninja Force surround the hospital that I genuinely laughed. As the Scarlett scene I described above plays out we also see Dr. Mindbender in another room having an ice bath as he recovers from his cloning. As he flicks through the television channels, trying to catch up on the state of the world in his absence, it’s funny to see what the main issues are for this crazed evil genius.

For me, if you’re going to promote a crossover with the Transformers you need to show transformations and, just as the story is about to end, one is squeezed in when Megatron is asked if he can be a bit more discreet in their current setting. After an example of how well the dialogue between these two characters is written, Tunnel Rat pops up from a storm drain and recognises a Cybertronian when he sees one. (Plus Megatron’s face hasn’t changed, just its colour.)

Their secret is out. The Joes now know that the situation is suddenly much more grave than they could possibly have imagined. So to end on we relocate to Mainframe sitting at a computer screen in the middle of a field of telecommunication arrays pointing towards the stars where he’s beaming a message to a designated point in the galaxy. What? It couldn’t be…. could it? As I turn to the final page I find out the answer to that is a resounding ‘yes’.

I’d always assumed Megatron was the only Cybertronian to feature in this crossover set up to Transformers: Generation 2, so to see Optimus Prime and Bumblebee suddenly pop up was a genuine surprise. Will the Joes remodel Prime’s alt mode with giant letters to give away who the truck really is? I doubt it somehow, but if you haven’t already make sure you read the introductory post to see what I’m talking about. This is a great cliffhanger to end on though.

Far less dramatic is a one-page advert for Stridex Maximum Strength spot cream. Given that the target audience for G.I. Joe would also include teenagers it’s an obvious place for an advert for such a product, but they do so in the most cringe-worthy way imaginable with horrible comic strip heroes. And that bottom-left panel looks more like it belongs in some adult magazine! Lew Stringer did a much better job when Pete and his Pimple went up against The Zit-Busters in OiNK a few years earlier.

After the surprise ending to this month’s strip I’m not sure where I got the information that these issues of G.I. Joe only featured Megatron but I’m glad they were wrong. Of course, I don’t know how much involvement the other characters will have and I’ll have to wait to find out (such is the nature of this blog and I love the anticipation, so no spoilers please if you remember this from your own childhood). It’s also been good to see the G.I. Joe comic still going strong 140 issues in (Marvel US’s Transformers made it to #80), although it only had a little over a year left with its original publisher by this point.

This issue has been a blast. It could easily have felt overcrowded with so many subplots going on but Larry handles them all superbly. Each one advances and they’re interlocked so tightly that each one is affecting the rest to varying degrees. This means Transformers fans can rest assured the non-Cybertronian parts of the story are just as entertaining. We’re still a couple of months off from their own comic so join me for #141 of this comic on Sunday 25th August 2024 as we take another step closer.

iSSUE 139 < > iSSUE 141

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Aliens, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #2: TiMMY, THEY’VE BEEN GONE A LONG TIME

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From the moment I picked up this sophomore issue of Dark Horse International’s Aliens comic with Paul Johnson‘s (Legends of the Dark Knight, Spinechiller Collection, Janus: Psi-Division) cover I was excited. Not just because this last month has felt like an age and I’ve been looking forward to it, I was excited to see a third strip has been added. Inside it’s explained that there were meant to be three strips last time but an issue with resizing Newt’s Tale for the larger pages of the UK comic delayed it. So here we are with the proper format now of two main Aliens strips and a Predator back up, plus all the extras of course.

One of those extras leaves a nasty taste in the mouth this month (and contradicts the comic itself) and I’ll get to that further along in the review. There’s also the first letters page, the next Technical Readout and the latest Xenomorph news. There’s also exciting Alien³ news which will mean more blog content too. But we’ll start with that new story, written by Mike Richardson and credited as “Based on the screenplay by James Cameron”. This is because it’s a retelling of the movie’s story but from the perspective of a different character, which is rather special.

Anyone who’s seen the Special Edition of Aliens (which is the default version today) should recognise this scene. We’re on LV-426 near Hadley’s Hope and Newt’s prospector dad has struck gold. Sent by the Wayland-Yutani company to a specific spot he’s taken his whole family along for the ride. Finding the massive alien ship from the first movie they think they’ve struck it rich, and the company has given him the rights to whatever he finds! Of course they knew what he’d find, and that he won’t be around long enough to claim anything.

So far, so familiar but this moves beyond a basic movie adaptation pretty quickly as we see Newt and her brother creep into the air ducts of the settlement they call home to find out if their dad is alright, since they haven’t been allowed near him while the doctors fail to get an unknown (to them) creature detached from his face. But in trying to protect them it’s just led to the kids being kids, and now they’re about to be witness to something much more terrifying.

The artwork here is by Jim Somerville (The Walking Dead – not that one, Maelstrom, Warlock 5) on pencils and Brian Garvey (Transformers, Gunfire, The New Gods) on inks with colours by Gregory Wright (Elephantmen, co-creator of the 90’s Deathlok, co-writer of Sensational She-Hulk) and the lettering is by Pat Brosseau (Hellboy, Wonder Woman, Wolverine). It reminds me of Stephen Baskerville’s inking (especially when working with Andrew Wildman) on The Real Ghostbusters and as such it feels a bit too cartoony for the subject, especially for this scene.

But I do love the idea behind it and I’m intrigued to see the rest of a story I know so well played out from a different viewpoint, even if one of this very publication’s feature writers thinks otherwise. I’m getting to that. Up next though is our back up strip. In between the two Aliens tales is Predator: Cold War written by Mark Verheiden, with pencils by Ron Randall, inks by Steve Mitchell, colours by Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe, with letters by Clem Robins. In this chapter we continue getting to know Arnie’s apparent brother, Detective Schaefer as his drugs bust goes wrong.

This takes up pretty much all of the strip’s eight pages, although to be fair to editor Dick Hansom the chunks of story presented were originally meant to be different until that technical fault last month. What we end up with here as a result is a rather clichéd 80s police flick, but it ends with Schaefer being kidnapped by some Men In Black-types for the general and then we head back to Serbia and the rig workers are getting panicked that there’s something out in the snow coming for them. They’re not wrong.

As someone who has only seen the second film many decades ago (I’ve decided I’ll get around to them this Hallowe’en) this comic is basically my introduction to the Predator and so far I’m just getting impatient to find out exactly what we’re dealing with. That’s not the strip’s fault obviously, it’s my own, and I’m sure fans of the original movie would get a kick out of this.

The Aliens Special Edition video had proven to be a huge success for 20th Century

Before we move on to the funnier (no, really) of our strips we’ll take a look at some of the extras. On the news pages it’s Alien³ release season with news on dates and box office numbers, a special mention for the poster design and (alongside a spot of Batman) the Aliens Special Edition video had proven to be a huge success for 20th Century. This particular news item and the inclusion of Newt’s Tale make another page in this comic even more surprising.

Quite a lot of my friends were huge fans of the Alien films and not a single one of them had anything but utter love for James Cameron’s Special Edition of his sequel, happily contributing to the sales figures above. (Then happily buying it again several years later in widescreen, then DVD, BluRay, iTunes 4K… you get the idea.) At the time of writing this review Disney’s new Star Wars series The Acolyte has proven very successful but there are some dark corners of the internet that I’ve heard are attacking it and this page reminds me of that to some degree.

This page of the comic reads like one of those Threads posts bulked up to a full article

Of course, a lot of the hate for the Star Wars show is because of ‘reasons’ from some very horrible types that we won’t get into here, but some others are just complaining because it’s adding to the lore. Surely that’s a good thing? It reminds me of when Doctor Who had mystery injected back into the character with The Timeless Child (when we found out they’d led many more lives than we’d thought, which even brought a lot of classic episodes/scenes back into canon). Some fans online don’t like not knowing everything about whatever they’re a fan of, and will instead say something “isn’t canon” and is an example of “bad writing” instead.

This page of the comic reads like one of those Threads posts bulked up to a full article. It also doesn’t sit well within a comic that has a strip (Newt’s Tale) that takes scenes from that very same Special Edition to explain more of a character’s backstory, the exact scenes that are being complained about here. If I’m not mistaken, while buying these comics for the blog I’m sure I noticed a future cover promoting a competition to win this video! This really is rather strange and not what I would expect from an otherwise quality comic. So let’s get back to the good stuff with part two of Aliens: Hive.

Regular readers of the blog may be familiar with how the Jurassic Park comic’s editorial recaps of previous chapters were described as ‘What Has Gone Before’ and here we get a full page of this for each strip, using cover images from the original US comics. I really like these. It’s like they’re announcing the next strip’s arrival as I read through the issue. As the crew leave the Dolomite for the surface we see Norbert has been able to keep its name after all and this produces some of the lighter and, surprisingly, funny moments. At least until we meet Gill, a synthetic human the likes of which is synonymous with the Alien films.

Always drawn with shadows covering his face, Gill is suitably creepy. As they move towards the 1000-meter high alien nest on the surface, the main ship has been scanning the debris encircling the planet and they’ve detected the remains of a ship, so of course they send a couple of people to recover the black box. Shockingly, they make it back safely. The recording shows the captain warning another ship of criminal trespass before the tape just stops. The Dolomite commander contacts Gill to tell him said criminals could still be about so to watch out, but instructs him not to tell the crew, not even the expedition leaders. This back-stabbing between humans who all have their own agendas fits perfectly into the Alien universe; human greed is basically the cause of all the horrific events in the movies. 

Down on the planet we get to see their landing disturb one of the sleeping residents. As you can see this is a very stylised version of the alien, its head isn’t one long smooth curve for example. I do like this style of art though by Kelley Jones (with colours by Les Dorschield and letters by Clem Robins), and in the years since we’ve seen how the alien species can adapt to whatever living being its transplanted into by its facehugger (beginning in Alien³) so we can always describe it away.

I’m eagerly anticipating the gruesome moments (if last month is anything to go by) and action-packed scenes we’ll see drawn in this very particular way in the following chapters. It’s very 90s, isn’t it? I love it. The strip ends with Doctor Mayakovsky in another alien slime-induced trance while Julian Lish looks on and thinks about the two of them together. It appears, contrary to the impression given last month, that they’re very much in love. Or is one using the other? More intrigue.

There’s another Technical Readout and this time it goes into a lot of detail about the drop ship we saw in the film before the issue rounds off with the first letters page, Bug Hunt. It might seem very quick to have this in the second issue but that’s because the last comic of volume one (all of which we’ll get around to eventually, I promise) saw Dark Horse come in and shake the comic up before their full relaunch. There’s the explanation about Newt’s Tale, a brief description of how setting up their UK office has opened the doors to talent in this part of the world working on their American comics, and there are hints about future Dark Horse International titles.

One isn’t just a hint though, backed up as it is with a back page advert.

While I’m not usually a fan of comics adaptations I’m looking forward to this regardless, especially the extra features. Just like Jurassic Park’s first few issues this had a three-weekly release schedule so of course that’ll be the case on the blog too. I’ll talk more about the movie itself during those issue, however I’ll just say that those friends of mine I mentioned above weren’t that crash hot about it on its initial release but I always enjoyed it.

However, the Collector’s Edition released since then has turned even them into die-hard Alien³ fans and in my eyes it puts the film on a level peg with the first two! So it’ll be interesting to see what the adaptation includes and you can come along and find out from Monday 5th August 2024 when Alien³ #1 hits the blog. Then it’s not a long wait at all until Aliens #3 (this could get confusing) arrives on Tuesday 20th August. See you then.

ALiENS iSSUE 1 < > ALiEN³ iSSUE 1

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #9: HEAD WiTH A HEART

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With a cover by none other than the legendary Walt Simonson (Thor, Star Slammers, Jurassic Park) and Mark Farmer, the penultimate issue of Death’s Head contains no official warning that the comic was about to come to an end. There’s a bit of a hint on the editorial page which has a ’Next Issue’ panel in place of the usual subscriptions offers, not that readers at the time would’ve picked up on this as they’d have been too excited at the prospect of our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent meeting Iron Man next month.

After a price rise last issue we got another one this month too, by 5p again. I remember the second half of 1988 and into 1989 my comics always seemed to be increasing in price, such were the struggles of an industry at a time when readerships were declining in the face of competition from television and computer games while production costs were soaring. Death’s Head would become a casualty of these changes soon enough but let’s enjoy the issue at hand first.

The editorial describes how last month The Doctor dropped off Death’s Head in the middle of Earth’s Dark Ages, which is actually 1989. Given writer Simon Furman‘s Dragon’s Claws took regular swipes at the 80s UK government (in the comic’s future vision of Britain) this could be more about accuracy than a quick joke. Simon is back after a month away from the comic and co-creator Geoff Senior finally makes a very welcome return as artist.

I didn’t even know the big rock guy
is the leader!

As you can see The Fantastic Four are the special guests this month. I’ll admit this is the first comic featuring them that I’ve ever read. I’ve never seen an issue of theirs and never saw the cartoons as a kid or any of the movies, so I really am going into this blind. I didn’t even know the big rock guy is the leader! It starts off very light-hearted with The Thing and The Human Torch bickering in a very superhero way.

Clobberin’ Time continues new editor Steve White’s brief time behind the wheel, with regulars Louise Cassell and Annie Halfacree on colours and letters respectively. That title soon becomes tiresome though. I understand it’s The Thing’s catchphrase but he uses it so frequently I feel like shouting, “Okay, okay, I get it, kids are meant to be copying him!” at the pages. Perhaps this is keeping within character but it’s just so annoying. What is good is the funny moment this sequence ends with, where it looks like they’ve made up.

Meanwhile, up on the roof someone isn’t too happy at being dropped off in the wrong time again, much like how he ended up in 8162 in the first place, even if he did settle in there and made it his (lucrative) home. However, not only is he out of time he’s also in precisely the wrong place as The Fantastic Four’s security system automatically opens fire. I have to say for the good guys their security system is very much shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later. Although it does lead to a laugh or two thanks to Death’s Head quips and his long-running bad luck.

Their building is a bit naff though, as huge holes are blasted open and its roof is destroyed as the automated weapons try and fail to take down Death’s Head. You’d think their HQ’s walls would be a bit more secure, that they’d stand up to their own security. But it’s all a bit of daft fun so we’ll not get caught up in the details (this isn’t Twitter). Using his rocket boots to fly through one of the aforementioned roof holes he finds himself in what could be described as their garage, full of hi-tech gadgets and transport.

Convinced this level of tech on 1980s Earth could mean they’d have access to a time machine, Death’s Head thinks aloud, “Just hope they’re nice, sane, normal people…” when he gets a rock hard tap on the shoulder. Meanwhile, back in the Los Angeles of 8162 Spratt is still fighting with their pet vulture (see #5) and takes another phone call from the mysterious woman in previous issues who’s been proclaiming she’s his business partner’s love. This time we also see part of her attire.

I’m still none the wiser although I’m assuming she must be a known character, given how she’s slowly being introduced. The Evil Dead’s Death Nell? If you remember the identity of the caller please don’t tell me in a comment or on socials; no spoilers! Hopefully I’ll find out in our final issue. As for this special crossover event it boils down to The Fantastic Four’s not-so-fantastic security program going rogue and dispatching a hovering droid to see off everyone.

At the beginning of the issue Reed Richards is working on one of the computer chips powering it and he was interrupted by the infighting, inadvertently making a mistake and corrupting the programming. At least this is the suggestion that’s thrown out by Reed, it’s never actually confirmed. With their bickering and the over-zealous zapping at Death’s Head having destroyed a lot of the building, it goes into full defensive mode.

During a protracted fight between the team and their new visitor it becomes clear that Death’s Head’s supposed fighting back is a case of mistaken identity. It was actually the computer attacking them but they were too busy assuming it was Death’s Head that they didn’t see the obvious. Between these reactions and the way their system was programmed I don’t have much faith in this superhero if my first impressions are anything to go by.

Eventually they calm down and think rationally, realising they need to team up with this comic’s lead character when Reed and The Invisible Woman’s child is put in danger. With Death’s Head being a mechanoid and able to hack the system that’s trying to kill them, soon it comes down to our ruthless hunter of bounties (I didn’t say it), a paid assassin, a mech programmed for self-preservation, to rescue a child.

The droid has handcuffed itself to the young boy in his bedroom, coldly using him as a bargaining chip. Now, our anti-hero isn’t exactly known for being subtle. Clicking a laser cutter onto his arm to snap the connection to the boy he leaps into the room and actually ends up damaging the droid and setting off its self-destruct! For a brief moment we see the Death’s Head we’d expect to see if this were any adult human, but it appears there’s a glimmer of a soul behind the facade.

That third image says it all and with the constant countdown you can feel the palpable sense of desperation in that penultimate panel. Superb, exciting stuff that Geoff’s penmanship is just perfect for. This may be the printed page but somehow he’s always able to make his art feel so animated when the script calls for it. After the umpteen pages of fighting earlier in the comic, after the build up in the story prior to this, this is single-handedly the most dramatic and exciting moment.

The panic it sets off is key to what’s next,
the story for our final issue

Yes, Death’s Head had to save the kid in order to gain access to their time machine but you can tell that’s not the reason he put his own life at risk. Ultimately though, this brave and heroic moment earns him the trust of The Fantastic Four and they set up their machine to take him back to 8162, a device that transports him in a green bar of energy from the feet up.

As he disappears, The Thing tells him that he had him all wrong, that the mech must be “what passes as a superhero in 8162”, to which Death’s Head tells him no, he was right all along. He then finally introduces himself by name and tells them what he does for a living…

This was a suitably funny final line for the character and the panic it sets off is key to what’s next, the story for our final issue. Back in the earlier days of reading Marvel UK’s Transformers for the blog’s Instagram the Machine Man of 2020 back up strip introduced a future-version of a certain main character in the publisher’s lineup. The hero’s identity had been completely taken over by another person. In the year 2020 Iron Man was no longer Tony Stark, he was Arno Stark.

No longer a hero, the Iron Man of 2020 was a mercenary-for-hire (which should make things interesting next month) and after being defeated by Machine Man he reappeared in a Spider-Man comic (also published in Transformers) when his family were held hostage by a killer and he had to travel back in time for the story’s resolution. The story ended in disaster, with Arno losing and seeing his city of the then-far future destroyed. His next appearance after that was in #10 of Death’s Head.

I knew Iron Man was to be the special guest star in the final issue but I had no idea it was this version and I’m super excited to see what happens. I really loved his two stories in Transformers. He was clearly the bad guy in his first appearance and for all intents and purposes was exactly the same when he returned. He was forced into a position of doing the right thing but in doing so went up against an actual hero, so young readers’ loyalties were tested. It made for fascinating reading.

I’m hoping for more of that kind of storytelling in Death’s Head next month. The pieces are certainly in place for an explosive finale and a suitably powerful send off for what has been a brilliant comic series. If it’s as good as it has been so far, and as good as those Iron Man of 2020 appearances were, then it’ll certainly take the edge off having to say goodbye. The final contract is on Monday 5th August 2024, right here.

iSSUE EiGHT < > iSSUE TEN

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Comic Reviews, G.I. Joe, Transformers: Generation 2

G.i. JOE #139: TANKS FOR THE MEMORiES

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With this issue of G.I. Joe (or, to give it its full title, G.I. Joe starring Snake Eyes and Transformers: Generation 2 – phew!) we start down the path to the new Transformers series proper. There may only be one Cybertronian in the tale but it’s Megatron, so you know he’ll be centre stage. The cover by Chris Batista (Steel, 52, Robin) and Chip Wallace (The Legion, Justice League Task Force, Star Wars: X-Wing Rogue Squadron) sets the tone perfectly and throws a hint for both the plot and Megatron’s new body as Transformers fans wouldn’t have missed the fact he’s rather green and blue. More on that below.

As always with G.I. Joe the story is written by the legendary Larry Hama although this issue the art team are completely different. While pencils are by Chris, you’d swear it was another Andrew Wildman/Stephen Baskerville masterpiece but that could be because Stephen’s inking work is so identifiable. There are no less than three other inkers alongside him this month! They are Chip, Keith Williams (Alpha Flight, Action Comics, Sensational She-Hulk) and Donald Hudson (Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe, Forever Amber, Wolverine). Rick Parker and Bob Sharen return for letters and colours respectively, with Bob joined by Jurassic Park story editor Renée Witterstaetter (Silver Surfer, Jason Vs. Leatherface, Savage Sword of Conan). That’s a lot of people. So what are the results of their collective skills?

Personally, I think this opening spread is just incredible! Megatron’s savagery is spot on, and the pages may be a good bit smaller than those that UK Transformers fans were used to but the sense of scale is magnificent. He truly comes across as a terrifying entity. In their own comic it was easy to forget their size because in its later life it all but forgot about human characters (or being in disguise). Facing up against Cobra the might of Megatron feels palpable. I love the little details too in his openly damaged body, in the firepower hitting him and the cracks throughout his frame.

Scarlett is in bad shape after being stabbed by her love Snake Eyes last time, and despite what they saw Slice is still suspicious of her motives. The story kicks off with Cobra Commander making a run for it, aghast that Megatron would open fire when Cobra was just trying to make a deal with him. But as Zarana points out, what could a robot want? “It’s the currency we’re talking about, not the amount!”, realises Cobra Commander. Intriguing.

I just love big transformation pages and this is right up there with some of the best we ever saw in the Transformers comic. Megatron’s voice patterns are somewhat different than normal but it isn’t so drastically different as to take away from anything. He always did love the gravitas of his own voice. Him and the human leader here have that in common at least.

Doctor Biggles-Jones reckons her specially crafted Hyper-Velocity Rail Gun could go up against “that folding robot” (love that, it’s so close to swearing), noting that just because Megatron is alien tech doesn’t necessarily mean he is better tech. She grabs a H.I.S.S. Tank with the gun attached and let’s rip on the Decepticon leader. It hits him but goes straight through with such velocity that it continues travelling until it’s outside of Earth’s atmosphere!

The action is great so far. It does calm down after this to focus more on the negotiations between Cobra Commander and Megatron, which are just as entertaining to read, but the first handful of pages are quite breathtaking in their relentlessness. The only thing that’s ever so annoying is the American comic’s insistence to shove adverts on to nearly every-other page, interrupting the flow somewhat.

Convinced the technology is of alien original, Megatron goes in for a closer look, grabs the doctor and squeezes her. It looks like she’s about to die when a voice calls out. Pausing momentarily to listen to Cobra Commander, Megatron is told that the “fleshling” he now holds is the designer of the very-human weapon that damaged him. Instantly, Megatron changes his tune about negotiating. 

Acknowledging that these particular humans could actually have the ability to repair and upgrade his damaged body, a deal is struck. There’s a palpable sense of foreboding to this collaboration, one we know won’t be of mutual trust. As the issue goes on, both leaders’ inner thoughts betray their intentions to the reader while their outer speech is cleverly worded to twist those thoughts for the benefit of their partner-in-crime. Larry Hama is just superb at writing this pairing.

Meanwhile, up in the air in their C-130 the Joes, Destro and the Baroness are making their way home. Snake Eyes and Destro are two of my favourite characters (alongside Scarlett and Stalker, also featured in this crossover) so to see them together in Scarlett’s undercover and Destro’s defection storylines is a joy. I just wish I had more issues to enjoy this to the full. (Thankfully that’ll soon be rectified.)

While this storyline continues we pop in on Cobra Commander and Megatron to see how their deal is shaping up, in an image that brings back memories of the first live-action Transformers movie with Megatron surrounded by scaffolding (albeit not in cryostasis this time). I knew going in that Cobra was responsible for rebuilding him (while the Joes were responsible for killing Bumblebee in the American continuity – in ours it was Death’s Head) but I was worried about how that would be depicted. I shouldn’t have been concerned.

Zarana’s vapour-inducing thought on the next page is that they should keep on dismantling Megatron so they can change the deal completely in their favour, however Cobra Commander shuts down the idea, at least until they get their hands on the goodies aboard The Ark. Unbeknownst to them (although surely you would assume) Megatron is listening in and simply smirks to himself.

Doctor Biggles-Jones is a character I’d never seen before until reading the previous issue, so I’ve no idea how long she’s been in the comic or anything about her background. She’s a technical wizard to put it very mildly, responsible for the most destructive of Cobra’s weaponry, and now the rail gun that damaged the giant Cybertronian is going to be installed in him, replacing his previous arm cannon. Things are building nicely towards Generation 2.

Biggles-Jones heads off to stop Slice from killing Scarlett after it’s confirmed the stabbing by Snake Eyes wasn’t accidentally non-fatal, it had been done with precision. Meanwhile, Destro and the Baroness have been taken back to Cobra Island by the Joes which at some point has been abandoned. Again, this is something I’ve missed between the time the stories appeared in Marvel UK’s Transformers and this. They’re rather shocked to find Cobra Commander waiting for them! Until, that is, he starts to glow and change…

… into Zartan, the master of disguise. His “new image” is clearly a reference to a new toy model Hasbro had created for him, and it’s clever of Larry to write in a quick panel or two to show readers (particularly this one who wasn’t aware of the change) his original look. All reacquainted now, Hawk explains why they’ve all been brought here.

On one side of the island is a cave that’s permanently on fire. Apparently when they left the island Cobra had drilled down to an oil deposit and lit it. Zartan mourns the loss of life, the bodies inside unrecoverable ash. That is, unrecoverable without Dr. Mindbender’s Brainwave Scanner and cloning vat, the former being an infamous device in the comic’s lore used to torture more than a few Joes. His cloning vat is missing, which had been used to create Serpentor from the remains of the greatest military leaders in history and resurrect Storm Shadow, both stories I remember fondly from Transformers.

There’s a funny moment here when Destro laments the fact Mindbender’s warped genius wasn’t used to resurrect Newton, Da Vinci or Einstein, while the Baroness would have preferred Elvis! There’s a passing mention of Mindbender having died but his body could’ve been moved along with a computer program able to resurrect the man himself. Having read IDW’s continuation of the story decades later in which Mindbender turns himself into a mad, mobile, weaponised computer system (yes, really) I’m assuming this is the start of bringing that character back into the comic.

To finish off this month’s chapter we return to the headline event for Transformers fans as a door slides open at Cobra’s current base and a huge green and purple tank rolls out. It makes light work of three H.I.S.S. tanks; we see its artillery slice through them like butter and continue out the other sides of them. This means it’s equipped with the rail gun, which means this is the new alt mode for Megatron! In case there was any doubt the tank shifts and changes on the next page to reveal his new body.

I have to say I really like the new look! It suits him. Cobra Commander gets a rude awakening as he realises Megatron could hear what they were saying all along. Yes, they’d only been praising the doctor on her great work a distance away from the test, but it means Megatron heard everything earlier too. How will this affect their deal or their mutual distrust of each other? We’ll find out soon I’m sure.

After he gives a quick run down of his stats the story ends with Megatron telling them his sensor arrays have located an experiment in the basement of the castle. Cobra Commander tries to dismiss it but Megatron warns him it’s started breathing… and we see Dr. Mindbender suspended in liquid with electrodes attached to his naked body. I knew it. Just to finish off, we’ll take a look at the back page advert which once again places the comic in the timeline of my life.

I remember all the fuss over Mortal Kombat at the time but I’d never been a fan of one-on-one beat-‘em-up games (I’m still not) and when a friend rented out a copy for his Mega Drive from the local video store we were both left feeling rather “meh” about it. That didn’t stop shows like GamesMaster and Bad Influence wetting themselves on an almost weekly basis over it though, or the British press making a whole overblown hoo-ha over its unconvincing digitised gore.

Not only have I enjoyed the Transformers aspects of this issue, it’s been a blast to read new (for me) adventures of the Joes and Cobra. Recently on the blog I’ve written about Skybound Entertainment’s Kickstarter in which they’ll be collecting the whole of Marvel’s run in a gorgeous hardback collection. These two issues so far have really whetted my appetite for that collection to arrive next year. For now though, I’ll look forward to the next part of this particular story in #140 of G.I. Joe, which you’ll see reviewed here on Sunday 28th July 2024.

iSSUE 138 < > iSSUE 140

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #1: A BREATH OF (BOTTLED) FRESH AiR

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I can remember the day I bought this issue of Marvel UK’s (under the Epic Comics imprint) new monthly, The Sleeze Brothers. Sitting in my Aunt May’s house with my mum certain images were seared onto my retinas, in particular the strip’s title spread you’ll see further below. It’s been months since the brothers popped up in Doctor Who Magazine, so just how will they translate to full 22-page stories? Incredibly well is the answer to that.

The editorial is ‘written’ by a stereotypical Huggy Bear-type called Papa Beatbox, some form of MC who gives us a sort of origin story for El’ Ape and Deadbeat. Discarded test tube babies, Beatbox raised them as if they were his own and, despite their gruff, selfish, greedy exteriors they apparently have insides of pure gold. We’ll see about that. 

I didn’t realise Dan Abnett (Knights of Pendragon, Nova, Sinister Dexter) was associate editor until now. As I list those credited with working on The Sleeze Brothers I won’t be mentioning The Real Ghostbusters after their individual names. Just take it for granted that whoever I mention also worked on that comic unless I say otherwise! This was the main reason I loved this issue so much as a kid and why I’ve been really looking forward to it on the blog, because that aforementioned comic was such a childhood favourite.

Only a few pages in and the art team have definitely nailed it

So anyway, on to our strip which is called Nice ’n’ Sleazy. Written by John Carnell (Doctor Who, DC’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy comic) and pencilled by Andy Lanning (Digitek, Nova, Death’s Head II), they also created these characters. Inks are by Dave Hine (Zoids, Mambo, X-Men), colours are by Steve White (Xenozoic Tales, Transformers, editor on Visionaries, Havoc and Death’s Head), letters are by Bambos Georgiou (Slimer, co-creator of Speakeasy and Aces Weekly) and it’s all edited by Richard Starkings (Death’s Head, Dragon’s Claws, Elephantmen) who designed the comic’s logo and chatted with me in the introductory post about the comic’s creation and the Epic label.

After the plethora of artists behind the Doctor Who strip, the comic settles into its art style and I’m loving it from the very first page. This future world is so intricately designed by Andy, and he and Dave are an excellent partnership in bringing out all of the fun details, with Steve’s bright and often gaudy colours really making the pages pop more than anything I’ve read on the blog so far. Only a few pages in and the art team have definitely nailed it. What about the plot?

It’s a simple story but it’s the first issue so it’s main purpose is to introduce the main characters and the world in which they inhabit, with all of its grime, corruption, many and varied alien life forms and the comedic ineptitude of everyone (and everything – we see a police robot forget its directives mid-arrest) that make up the Earth of the future. The Sleeze Brothers actually get involved by accident here, when Finkelly lets a key witness against the Cosmos Father escape and, backed into a corner by his goons, he spots a flyer for the brothers’ detective agency (which doubles as the front cover) and pretends like he knows them.

We then get to meet up with El’ Ape and Deadbeat as they bust in on a husband partaking in some very extracurricular activity. This is the spread I mentioned above and I think you’ll be able to see why it was so memorable to my young eyes! I love the little details here too, such as El’ Ape’s pin badges, the fact we see the photo Deadbeat takes sliding out of the camera and even the husband’s surprised look reflected in El’ Ape’s sunglasses.

Thinking this proves that being private detectives is paying off, El’ Ape’s excitement is cooled when Deadbeat reminds him how much the camera, film and skeleton keys cost, then their last few remaining notes are ripped from his hands by their landlord. Deadbeat is sure they’re not going to earn enough in this line of work but El’ Ape is optimistic and says something always turns up “in these types of stories”. Is this a hint that they’re acknowledging being inside a comic? Even if it’s not, it’s funny.

Back in their office we meet Doris, their receptionist. Well, sort of. You see, she’s a computer and, despite this being set in the far future, Doris is an antiquated desktop complete with cassette deck, so completely unable to move about and do much of a receptionist’s job. She’s just one example of the insane characters John and Andy come up with throughout the issue.

Finkelly hires them to find his twin brother, showing them a picture of the runaway witness and obviously they look nothing like each other. “He parts his hair on a different side to me”, explains Finkelly. This and a suitcase full of cash is enough to convince the Sleezes the case is legit, despite Doris calling them out on it. Yes, these two aren’t exactly the sharpest, just in case you missed their misadventure with the Doctor.

In a scene that reminds me of a funny page in #5 of Death’s Head they start asking around and run into a whole bunch of weird and wacky folk, giving Andy a chance to draw up a variety of inhabitants of the city. This page should give you some indication of the imagination on show throughout the comic and this is only the beginning. Unsurprisingly, asking random strangers doesn’t work out. Without any other ideas they head off to Wong’s Air Bar.

The Air Bar plays up to our legitimate worries of climate change, hypothesising that in the future fresh air is such a luxury it’s bottled up inside pressurised bottles and sold like beer. Not that alcohol is in short supply either, El’ Ape throwing about the cash from their suitcase as if they’ve already solved the case. When the photo accidentally falls out the bar’s proprietor is able to point them in the right direction at last (after some eyes-down-the-barrel-of-a-gun persuasion).

I have to say I laughed at this panel above. The city is very much a spoof of Judge Dredd’s MegaCity One. As well as the so-called “undercover C.O.P.S.” (neither undercover nor decent cops) the brothers’ car is just a Volkswagon Beetle with hovercraft piping instead of wheels, delivery trucks use the same configuration and on other pages we see regular electrical sockets and other contemporary technology, giving it a lovely feel of a future world poking fun at the depictions of the future seen in 80s movies of the day.

The biggest thing that’s purposely out of place for me are public phone boxes (and not a mobile in sight). Here, Deadbeat explains all the technological security these have in order to stop tampering, theft, fee dodging etc., all of which he bypasses by simply sticking a bit of chewing gum on one of its parts. “Oldest trick in the book”, he says. Placing a call to several delivery companies for the building housing their target (that uncanny resemblance to a frog above), it’s bombarded with trucks which keeps the police occupied. The two-headed chief calls for phone line repairmen, who of course end up being the brothers in disguise. It’s a ridiculously convoluted plan and I love it. Although, they’re quickly caught by one of those inept RoboCops.

So that’s two oldest tricks in the book. The ludicrousness of this future world is what has delighted me the most. I had it in my head that the world itself would be more like that in Death’s Head, with some background gags and funny social commentary but for the most part it would play the straight guy to the main characters’ comedy. But in fact the inept duo, one being a loud mouth reactionary and one quiet and thoughtful, are actually the closest we get to normality. And that’s saying something!

Through a chase involving a comedy of errors our detectives catch up with the witness. Not that they know he’s a witness. Cornered and terrified, he whimpers at the end of a back alley while El’ Ape and Deadwood approach. El’ Ape grins. Deadwood is stoney faced as per usual. He clicks open his briefcase and it looks like a professional hit to the defenceless victim, until we see what Deadbeat was reaching for. What happens next over a double-page spread at the end of our story perfectly sums up the humour of the comic.

It’s been a wild and crazy ride and this is only the first issue. You’d be hard pushed to find a comic with a premiere issue that works as perfectly as this one. It feels like a fully developed comic, as if this were the sixth or so issue in its run. Of course, with a predetermined length of only six issues John and Andy had to hit the ground running. They’ve sprinted! Every page is packed full of fun, every gag lands, the leads feel fully formed and the world in which they inhabit is just as big a character as they are.

Let’s hope the remaining issues over the course of the rest of this year live up to the exceptionally high standard this premiere has laid out. It’s also got me thinking about finally finishing off my collection of The Real Ghostbusters to enjoy more of John’s and Andy’s work after this read through is finished. For now I’ll look forward to whatever they have in store for The Sleeze Brothers #2, which will be reviewed right here on the blog on Monday 29th July 2024.

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Aliens, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #1: STOP YOUR GRiNNiN’ AND DROP YOUR LiNEN

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Off we go with the latest real time read through and this one is rather different than anything that’s been covered on the blog so far, being the first aimed at a mature audience. After licensing their Aliens comics to Trident in the UK, Dark Horse US decided to set up shop in London and print their strips in their own titles. Thus Dark Horse International was created. This was their first, and flagship, title.

I’ve already covered one of their comics. Jurassic Park not only adapted the movie into comic form it also contained the first ever official sequel to the film and book. Similarly, Dark Horse US’ Aliens continued the story of James Cameron’s amazing hit movie and lasted for decades, only coming to an end in recent years when Marvel rebooted it now that Disney owns both the comic publisher and 20th Century, the company behind the films.

As much as I do love the new Marvel series (it really is superb) I’ve been really excited to sink my teeth (just the one set) into these original stories. As explained in the introductory post I’m concentrating on the comics after Dark Horse International took over with Volume Two. At least for now. This is because these were the comics my friends collected at the time and the one I owned was part of this series too. So let’s get down to reliving it.

After John Bolton’s (Hellraiser, Man-Bat, The Evil Dead, and one of the first British artists to work on American comics) incredible, exclusive new front cover the editorial welcomes us to Dark Horse’s vision of what an Aliens comic should be, with Jurassic Park editor Dick Hansom given the title of ‘New Bug’. To place the comic in its time you can see Alien³’s release was imminent and in fact Dark Horse would publish a three-weekly, three-part (bit of a theme there) special series to commemorate. More on that movie as we go along.

So the first strip in the read through is Hive, part one of which takes up 20 pages. Altogether there are 52 pages with a good quality gloss cover and a matt stock inside, all in colour apart from the occasional advert. There’s also a 16-page Predator back up and a good selection of features, the overall format making it a very UK comic indeed. Let’s get started with Hive first of all. In the States each story was released as a mini-series whereas here they’d be printed in an ongoing comic, much like Jurassic Park. It opens with this scene-setting spread below.

This is the perfect opening for the first issue, feeling very much like the movie, complete with the heroine having a somewhat Sigourney Weaver-esque look. The Alien is brilliantly realised by Kelley Jones (The Sandman, Batman: Endgame, Micronauts), with Les Dorscheid’s (Dungeons & Dragons, Deadman, Nazz) muted colours adding to the atmosphere and Clem Robins‘(Amazing Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, Guardians of the Galaxy) letters. Of course in the film the Aliens are black, but conveying that in comic form can be difficult. Les’ use of colours here is inspired, fooling us into accepting this creature as black even though it has to be coloured differently for its details to stand out on the page.

Jerry Prosser’s (The Crow, Predator, editor on Sin City: A Dame to Kill For) story begins with Julian Lish trying to escape from an Alien in a scene that could’ve been lifted straight from the movie with its tight, dark corridors, motion tracking sensors and in the end the alien’s second jaw sliding out for the kill. That is, until an “Override Code” is announced over a loudspeaker and it just… stops.

This is Dr. Stan Mayakovsky and any initial confusion you might feel from this turn of events was echoed by me. That’s the whole point. He enters with his dog in tow who seems completely nonplussed with the H.R. Giger creation standing over them. What happens next continued the confusion as the dog drops their ball from their slobbery mouth and it rolls underneath the alien’s legs.

Didn’t expect that, did you? What with this bit of alien playfulness and our two human characters just standing next to it, even after it looked like Julian was about to be its victim, something is obviously amiss. (It hadn’t been released yet, but the dog in the original cut of Alien³ certainly didn’t get this treatment!) On the next page the alien sizes up to the professor, baring its teeth and hissing, my mind instantly remembering the accompanying scary sound from the films. Then it takes off down the corridor and… well…

I admit I laughed at this! And laughter is not something I thought this comic would produce a lot of. Yes, the film had its moments but those definitely didn’t come from the alien side of things. It does explain things though with its clearly robotic speech bubble. As ridiculous as it sounds to have a robotic alien in the story we must remember this is set in a future where completely convincing human androids also exist, so why not?

We get an insight into his addiction to a particular drug, a raw form of the slime produced by the aliens

The question is, why exactly has this thing been created? Not only that, but it’s being trained to hunt humans, or at the very least act convincingly like a killer. Called XL1, an out-of-breath Julian tells Stan it keeps getting better, that she’s struggling to stay ahead of it anymore, which pleases Stan immensely. However, Julian wonders what 10,000 of them would be like! It’s a terrifying thought and we know that the plans of greedy humans always lead to disaster in the film series. So what’s the reasoning?

It’s not clear yet if the professor works for the Weyland-Yutani Corporation from the films but we do get an insight into his addiction to a particular drug, a raw form of the slime (or “jelly” as it’s called here) produced by the aliens. It relieves his cancer symptoms and puts him into a sort of trance state where time slows down, his world goes blue and he revisits his memories of how he got to this point. It’s essentially a bit of exposition for the readers.

Having to buy the substance from drug dealers, he eventually met Julian and devised a plan to build an alien android to infiltrate a hive (that explains the reference to thousand of aliens and the title) and bring back the jelly. Stan is in it for himself, Julian appears to be in it for the money, and their mutual desire for the same outcome results in a passionate, mutually selfish love affair. Using the example of ants above and the aforementioned ability to make convincing androids, it’s an interesting set up for the first story in the comic series. There’s also a funny moment when Julian even suggests naming their alien ‘Norbert’!

In their ship The Dolomite they take a crew to a far-flung planet called A6 454 upon which humans have never set foot, and Stan and Julian stand up in front of their crew and ask for volunteers before showing them what they’re there for. As a bit of foreshadowing, revealing their android goes horribly wrong. Not that either seems to care.

I remember seeing scenes like this when I flicked through my friend’s Aliens comics as a teenager and being amazed it could show such images. I’d never seen anything like this in comics before. Anyway, Stan finally uses his override command to stop his android from continuing its killing spree and the final image of the strip has it holding another man’s head and looking directly at Stan. Whether this is where the original first part ended in the US comic or this is where the UK’s comic has cut it off is difficult to say, although the sudden end makes it feel more like the latter.

The first part of Hive is intriguing, full of atmosphere, has plenty of horrific moments and really sucked me into its world. It’s a fantastic start to the comic and this already has the potential to be an excellent read through. As a teen it was no wonder I loved the one issue I picked up if this is anything to go by. It would’ve shocked and scared me, and I would’ve been loving every page of it. Before moving on to the back up strip there’s a bit of news in The Motion Tracker segment and a middle-page spread about the making of Alien³.

I wonder if anyone actually went and rented The Commitments back then just to get a glimpse of the film? It’s interesting that there was a different direction for the film originally planned, so much so that a teaser was made. The Unnatural Selection spread isn’t the easiest to read but it does explain a lot of the infamous difficulties in making Alien³. I’m particularly interested in the various writers and script drafts and the evolution (hence the subtitle) of the story over the years before filming began. If this is an indication of the extras the comic will contain I can’t wait for future issues.

In case you’re wondering, the “Free Comic” on the cover is a sequel to Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons’ Give Me Liberty (which I’d never heard of until now despite it being a best seller) and nothing to do with the Aliens franchise. While the Predator movies would eventually cross over into the Aliens universe, at the time they had nothing to do with the franchise either. However, in comics they were always closely related and thus a perfect choice of back up strip.

Predator: Cold War is written by Mark Verheiden (Phantom, co-executive producer on Battlestar Galactica and Falling Skies), with pencils by Ron Randall (The Dreaming, Action Comics, Supergirl), inks by Steve Mitchell (Aquaman, Batman, G.I. Joe), colours by Chris Chalenor (Barb Wire, The Mask, Hieroglyph) and Rachelle Menashe (The Terminator, Icon, Virus), and letters are by Clem Robins again. Lieutenant Ligachev has been promoted by a General of her army just so he could send her to take charge of an oil field pumping station in the middle of the Siberian nowhere. When their equipment discovers large seismic activity accompanied by high levels of radiation they go to investigate, discovering the decapitated body of a local deer herder, strung up on a pole as if he’s on display, like an animal at the end of a successful hunt.

Soon they’re under attack by a Predator and, upon being hit and half buried in the snow, Ligachev can only watch as her young team are cut down one-by-one by this strange creature. Setting the beginning of the story in desolate ice fields adds a level of desperation to her plight but we soon find out she’s recounting it to a military tribunal who wants to send her back! 

If this is anything like Aliens then she’s probably being sent back out to face certain death in order for the government (rather than a private company) to get access to powerful weapons. As someone who has only ever seen the second movie a long, long time ago this plays out like a typical 80s monster movie, which is no bad thing of course. More interesting is how the rest of this 16-page chunk of the story tries hard to tie it in closer to the film series.

The American military have picked up on the weapons fire and automatically assumed the Soviets were test-firing nuclear weapons, so they reach out to General Philips. He was played by R.G. Armstrong in the first film although here he’s described as having something to do with the “business in New York last summer” and I’m not sure what that’s in reference to. After all, the first film was set in Central America and the second in Los Angeles.

A second character, a New York sheriff, is seen having flashbacks to being attacked by a Predator (while at the dentist no less, so double the horror!) so maybe it’s in reference to an earlier Predator comic, perhaps one printed in Trident’s first volume. Meanwhile, the general goes to meet a Detective Schaefer who turns out to be the brother of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character Dutch, still M.I.A. from the first film. As you can see he’s drawn as another version of Arnie and basically feels like a way of getting the big name star into the strip without actually doing so.

So far, as someone who knows next to nothing about Predator the opening scenes were exciting but the introduction of Schaefer feels a bit like the Jurassic Park comic’s own desperate attempt to get another character from the film into its sequel strip, when it reintroduced Robert Muldoon who had clearly been killed by the Velociraptors in the movie. I’ll not dwell. Going into the Predator strips essentially blind means I can just enjoy them for what they are.

Towards the rear of the comic are three pages detailing some of the weaponry used by the Colonial Marines in the Aliens movie. For fictional weapons the Technical Readout really does go into a lot of detail. If this is the beginning of the comic adding some background depth to not only itself but also the universe of the films then it’s another great start. These pages bring back exciting memories of their onscreen use, especially the M56 Smart Gun as used by Jenette Goldstein’s Vasquez character, decades before “smart” devices became the things to own.

Finally, just as in Jurassic Park (and many Marvel UK comics) we get a comics checklist, although at this stage Aliens was Dark Horse International’s only UK title so it focusses solely on the imported comics available in specialist comics shops. These weren’t as easily found at the time (Northern Ireland only had two such shops back then) so for most of us these were beyond our reach. It’ll be interesting to see this develop as the company settled (at least temporarily) into this part of the world.

With that we come to the end of the first issue and it’s off to a cracking start. The Aliens strip itself is fantastic and it hasn’t really got going yet, but the set up has plenty of potential for things to go horribly wrong for the cocky humans. Predator is also enjoyable and might be more so once I actually watch the films (which I now want to do, so that’s another good point) and the extras are interesting. Lots of potential here. This is a lengthy read through that’ll take us all the way to March 2026, so settle in and come back on Tuesday 23rd July 2024 for the next instalment.

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Comic Reviews, OiNK Contributors

BARMY COMiX: DOWNLOAD DOLTS

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Created by master of mirth Lew Stringer, Barmy Comix was released for free online in 2020 in response to a delay in the publication of his next Combat Colin comic due to Covid. Bringing some much needed cheer to a locked down world when access to new comics was impossible, it has 32 pages (or screens) of strips taken from various publications in the Lewniverse, including a nine-page preview of the next issue of Combat Colin.

That’s not all from the moronic militia man though. There’s a classic from the Transformers days, when Lew’s strips were at their height later in the run with Day of the Gunge, a strip I fondly remember reading first time around when I was a much smaller human. There’s also a full-colour adventure with Colin and Semi-Automatic Steve I hadn’t read before from the pages of Aces Weekly. This on its own is worth the price of entry. Not that there is any price, but you get my drift.

Loose Brayne, aka Brickman is in here too. It’s quite possibly the barmiest strip of the whole comic and that’s certainly saying something. The Brickman Meets The Mad Cobbler is classic Lew turned up to ten. I love the character of Albert and on the next page we see that it’s actually the big fancy house, Brayne Manor, that sits in a cave while Brickman’s supposedly secret lair is above ground for all to see.

This should give you some idea of the chaos to expect if you’ve never read a Brickman strip before. Set in “Pre-Holocaust Thatcherite Britain” it’s an ingenious mix of slapstick, social commentary and daft gags. It’s probably my favourite out of the whole issue. Saying that, there’s also a second story of his, Brickman and Trowel Meet Professor Deranged! Nothing subtle about the villain names in this comic.

Derek the Troll’s strip takes the form of one of those Make-Your-Own-Adventure books we had as kids (OiNK had its own version back in #5). Derek was originally created for role-playing magazine Warlock and that’s where this strip comes from. Lew has also released a comic reprinting all of Derek’s misadventures which I’ve already reviewed on the blog and (spoiler) enjoyed immensely.

Derek the Troll’s ‘orrible Troll-Playing Game is almost impossible to win, throwing a spanner in the works every time you think you’ve made the right decision, its curveballs and surprises keeping you laughing all the way to the end. There are also two full-colour strips of Derek’s from the short-lived digital comic Goof and he’s the star of one of the mini-posters scattered throughout Barmy Comix, ready to be printed out and Blu-Tac’ed to your wall if you’re feeling particularly nostalgic.

One creation of Lew’s I’d never heard of before reading this comic during the pandemic was Pedantic Stan the Comics Fan. Co-created with former Marvel UK editor and the utter gentleman behind comics news site Down the Tubes John Freeman, he was created for comic newspaper Speakeasy in the 1990s (an earlier edition of which has already appeared on the blog). Lew has also released the complete collection of Stan’s strips in a small, landscape format comic which was a hoot to read. It’s been a while since I’ve read it so it was fun to see his Full-Page Christmas Special again.

Also in here is a touching strip from the Undefeated Spirit of Hope book released in 2011 in the wake of the natural disasters in New Zealand and Japan of that year, finishing off the comic on the back page. Altogether this has reminded me of The Marvel Bumper Comic, which introduced me to comics and characters I hadn’t previously read among a mix of hugely enjoyable, hand-picked reprints of some of my favourites.

Barmy Comix was (and still is) free although Lew does ask fans if they could donate a small sum of £2.00 towards the creation of future comics in his range. This was particularly relevant during the pandemic but it’s such a small ask in return for the many laughs we get from each and every one of his publications. To download it just click on the link below to Lew’s own blog and please do remember to donate.

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD 8: DOCTOR… WHAT?!

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As I collected Death’s Head’s comic for the blog I couldn’t help but notice the covers for the final three issues all prominently displayed characters from other publications. Crossovers were usually an event and used sparingly in my comics as a kid so my initial reaction to seeing these was that they were really, really trying to get a bigger audience for the comic, which made me think sales weren’t great. A bit of a leap perhaps, but three crossovers in a row?

This issue we see the Seventh Doctor (as played by Sylvester McCoy on TV) guest star after our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent first appeared in Doctor Who Magazine and ended up reduced to human size by the time-traveling alien. It’s clear from the cover and the editorial inside that the opportunity for revenge has presented itself and Death’s Head intends to follow it through. But first, a surprise in the credits!

Unlike all previous issues, which were written by the character’s co-creator Simon Furman, this chapter is written by Steve Parkhouse (Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Bojeffries Saga, Doctor Who – unsurprisingly) who also inks Art Wetherell’s (Transformers, The Incredible Hulk Presents, Sheena Queen of the Jungle) pencils. Annie Halfacree letters and Louise Cassell colours a strip that feels very different than usual. Plus, Steve White (editor of Visionaries, colourist on Jurassic Park) takes over as editor after Richard Starkings had resigned.

The plot involves Josiah W. Dogbolter, a character of Steve Parkhouse’s and Steve Dillon‘s from DWM in the Fifth Doctor days, whose company wants to make money out of time travel by privatising it. How could time travel be privatised? In the 80s we thought the same thing about water and the railways. This is clearly taking a dig at Margaret Thatcher’s government of the time, something Simon’s Dragon’s Claws was very good at. It’s nice to see this kind of satire make its way into the more comedy-focussed title.

Dogbolter finishes his speech to his shareholders and the press with the phrase, “Time IS money!!” and I have to hand it to him for that one. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the businessman has had previous run-ins with The Doctor and that’s why he’s wanting to control the very essence of time travel. The first panel above sums up the entirety of the plot for this issue, found on the second page.

This comic could never be accused of having intricate plot lines, usually they’re just a means to an end. But when those ends are so full of character, action and laughs, when they’re so enjoyable, they do the job. This issue is no exception. Hob is Dogbolter’s robotic assistant and is sent out (in delivery boy uniform no less) to hire Death’s Head for an assassination attempt on The Doctor. Needless to say, he accepts the job.

“Poot? This is some Time Machine, yes?”

Death’s Head

What he doesn’t know is that Dogbolter was looking for “a skilled assassin who’s not only spectacularly stupid, but psychotically aggressive, amoral, and lacking any kind of imagination whatsoever” and Hob’s conclusion was to approach our lead character. It becomes apparent later in the strip why his boss was looking for someone with these particular traits. But first, on a dark and stormy post-apocalyptic night in a future Los Angeles, the powerful time travelling device gets strapped to Death’s Head and he dramatically sets off. Well, sort of.

It’s not exactly the TARDIS. A fun segment takes Death’s Head through various points in time before he’s able to find The Doctor. First of all he lands in an English parish in 1646. Leaving just moments later it was enough for the poor woman whose garden he appeared in to be sentenced to death for summoning a demon. Two huge shoed footprints are uncovered by archaeologists digging for Triassic period fossils and then he appears in front of a German tank during World War II!

Lots of laughs later we see The Doctor is also attempting to make an audience smile as he plays a court jester in a panto taking place in front of tourists on an English seaside pier. I have no idea why this is, perhaps it ties into a story in Doctor Who Magazine at the time. A loud noise from behind him sends the audience into the usual pantomime chant of “He’s behind you”, to which The Doctor naturally replies, “Oh not he isn’t”, leading to this next page.

That’s an entrance. Using some panto clichés, namely pulling a lever to open a trap door under Death’s Head and then escaping as one half of a pantomime horse (no, really), The Doctor makes his way back to the TARDIS and scarpers to another time and place. This really is all rather ridiculous, even for the far-fetched nature of this comic but then again we have to remember this was published during 80s Doctor Who.

I have a real fondness for Sylvester’s Doctor. He was my first but I didn’t start watching until the beginning of his second season (with the phenomenal Remembrance of the Daleks) when he became a darker and more mysterious character, often instigating the plot rather than reacting to an injustice. But when this comic was written only his first season had been broadcast in which he was much more of a clown, fumbling his way through time while playing the spoons!

This explains a lot about his actions in Time Bomb, and especially the ludicrous escape he’s just made. 

So he may not feel like my Doctor but it’s still an entertaining strip. Death’s Head is able to somehow materialise inside the TARDIS (this is never explained) direct from the sea he’d plunged into under the pier. An alarm sounds and soon he finds out he’s been double-crossed. Dogbolter not only ensured The Doctor would be killed but that there wouldn’t be any witnesses to tie things back to him.

Over the next couple of pages we see Death’s Head and The Doctor work together as much as they ever will, not exactly with each other but they have a mutual wish to survive and that’s enough for now. They lock on to the source of the signal and materialise on top of Intra-Venus Inc.’s (brilliant name) roof, much to Dogbolter’s chagrin. As he heads to the sub-basement shelter, inside the TARDIS Death’s Head tries to convince The Doctor to blast the straps of the machine off his back.

The patter between these two is very good. Death’s Head explains he never learned how to worry but that The Doctor is about to be blown up and end up in hell, so he tells him he’d better get to work. Using something called a Piklok (a new invention, but why not the Sonic Screwdriver?) he manages to unstrap the time machine while elsewhere Dogbolter has lost his ID card and can’t get off the elevator in time to escape before this next page.

I have an issue with this. A big one. It’s been established the time machine is nuclear-powered, so why did The Doctor not dispose of it in deep, dark space? Why bring it back to Earth? The size of the explosion is meant to indicate the end of Dogbolter and his company, but that would also include everyone else in that building and at the very least the surrounding buildings too! The Doctor would never put innocent human lives at risk, never mind actually blowing them to bits!

Back in Doctor Who Magazine #135 he also put Earth at risk by dropping Death’s Head off here, even though he acknowledged how dangerous that would be for his favourite planet. It’s not like the Seventh Doctor had it in for us humans, he held the same morals as all the rest, including the modern day incarnations (if you’re unfamiliar with the classic series). It’s a huge sticking point for me and kind of ruins the end of a fun story.

With this in mind it’s quite galling of The Doctor to then try to lecture our mechanoid anti-hero on his behaviour. Death’s Head’s response is funny though, I’ll give the strip that. The Doctor tells him that humans can evolve and change their evil ways, which Death’s Head simply describes as falling apart. After all, he’s programmed, and metal; if he changes from that then he’s literally falling apart. It’s black and white to him.

“A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead.”

Death’s Head

As The Doctor leaves he tells Death’s Head that he’s doomed, that in a thousand years people will be different be he’ll still be the same. “A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead”, he retorts. There’s no use in trying to push it, so as the TARDIS doors close he’s told he’s just a machine, a tool, one that nobody truly needs. Death’s Head muses that The Doctor is probably right, but then realises he doesn’t care; he’s home and ready to earn money again.

The final few panels pull back to reveal a not-so-subtle hint of who will be guest starring in #9. Anyone unsure (as I would’ve been at the time if I’d been reading this as a kid, I wasn’t a superhero comic reader), the answer to the final letter on the Head To Head page gives the game away not only for the next issue but the final one beyond that.

Then again, what’s the point in crossovers if you can’t market the hell out of them in advance to try to increase sales, yes?

I really enjoyed this story but that explosive ending bugs me. I don’t mean to dwell but as a fan of Doctor Who it’s just so out of character, so out of sync with what the series stands for, that I can’t let it go. I know nothing about The Fantastic Four so if they suffer the same fate I’ll be none the wiser. We’ll see how Death’s Head fares with four super-powered humans in #9, so watch out for the review on Monday 1st July 2024.

iSSUE SEVEN < > iSSUE NiNE

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