Category Archives: Christmas

SPEAKEASY #81: A CHAT WiTH MARK RODGERS

Just five short months after the previous issue of Speakeasy that featured on the blog came their Christmas issue, complete with snow and holly on the title (as it should be) and our piggy publication got a headline mention too. That’s because inside there was a massive double-page spread all about our favourite comic.

OiNK featured in the earlier issue in a much smaller way. Here, an unknown writer (no credit is given so it could be anyone out of Cefn Ridout, Dick Hansom, Bambos Georgiou and Nigel Curson) chats to OiNK co-creator/co-editor Mark Rodgers and the big news was that OiNK was finally going weekly with #45!

I remember the first time this was announced in the comic and I was absolutely thrilled. The loss of some key characters to a semi-regular basis and a reduction in pages was a bit of a shock though. If I’d been reading Speakeasy I’d have had a heads up and Mark’s explanation about some characters being on a regular rotation makes perfect sense. If only the comic itself had told us this at the time, maybe more readers would’ve stayed around.

There are a handful of previews for the new weekly strips here, showcasing Lew Stringer’s main characters who would now always have full pages to themselves. David Haldane’s are shown in their entirety and Billy Brown’s Black Hole was a one-off but even on such a smaller scale Simon Thorp’s detailed artwork still looks the part. Two-thirds of it are shown here even though we wouldn’t see it in OiNK until #68, the final issue!

“The pigs started taking over. We eventually decided to call it OiNK.”

Mark Rodgers

The piece begins with the well-known tale of how OiNK’s three creators (Mark, Tony Husband and Patrick Gallagher) met and, once we get to the point in the story where OiNK received its name, the writer takes every opportunity to insert a surprisingly well-crafted pig pun. The article focusses on OiNK’s independence and what set it apart from its contemporaries. Most interestingly, Mark likens OiNK to its stablemates when they were younger comics, when they pushed the envelope with their own rebellious senses of humour.

But by the 80s what was once rebellious had become stagnant. OiNK was their attempt at rekindling that same feeling for the modern audience. I’ve no doubt those that complained about OiNK failed to see the similarity to the comics from their own youth. Other interesting tidbits here include Mark admitting the humour was going to be gently changed to appeal to the middle-ground of their readers’ ages, Burp is misspelled throughout for some reason, and the DallasEnders photo strip mentioned wouldn’t actually see the light of day until #63, the first monthly.

“It’s going back to the basics of children’s humour comics really.”

Mark Rodgers

Lew Stringer also pops up towards the end when he’s asked about his involvement with the weekly relaunch. To help with the quicker turnover of issues Lew was asked to design half a dozen of the covers, three of which he would draw himself and the rest would be handed over to others. Lew discusses the idea behind them and it’s interesting that he came up with a theme for them in response to the fact the issues themselves would no longer be themed. Clever.

There’s one point here that’s particularly relevant. Mark talks about some of the more popular characters and how readers could identify with them. They were highly exaggerated versions of us and our likes, dislikes and behaviours of course, but it meant we could laugh at ourselves alongside the celebrity spoofs and random characters inside the comic. In a world where certain corners of the internet bemoan comics (and other mediums) wanting to create identifiable characters for modern audiences, it’s clear they don’t know their own comics history. It’s always been a thing, whether in superhero comics or silly ones about pigs and plops.

It’s time for a quick look at some other little bits that caught my eye as I read this edition of Speakeasy. Some things never change, as some got into a tizzy over new Bible-based comics. They were reported on as “obscene” and “degrading”, created by “perverts who should be prosecuted”. Reported as such in a tabloid that had topless women every day and another that constantly runs bikini photographs of celebrities the second they are of legal age.

A paragraph about the atrocious ratings of a Marvel TV series ends with the first news of one of my favourite shows of all time, the 80’s War of the Worlds. Well, the first season was ace and ahead of its time, a superb sequel to the 1953 movie and which had a clear multi-year arc long before Babylon 5. But then the studio began interfering. When they didn’t get their way they fired show runner Greg Strangis, relaunching it with a completely different season two which was lame, contradicted everything that had come before and killed off any non-white characters (but I’m sure that was just a coincidence, right?). Am I still bitter all these years later? You betcha.

Marvel UK’s licenced comics get an update (the update for Fleetway would have you believe they only published 2000AD), however there’s no word on those Action Force issues being the last. Then there’s a rather familiar name associated with an anti-smoking campaign and I for one would be happy to be incorrectly identified as that person. Finally, Pat Mills and Hunt Emerson brought us a role-playing game book that just might have a point behind it. It’s subtle.

That brings us to the end of another look at Speakeasy, a time capsule for the comics scene of the 80s. I know it was publisher Fleetway’s idea to turn OiNK into a weekly but Mark seems genuinely enthusiastic for its potential. It’s always enjoyable to read about his love of the comic, it’s so infectious. Christmas 1987 was such an exciting time for pig pals, with the very best issues of OiNK the team produced, the first OiNK Book and news of the weeklies to come.

Very happy memories indeed and you can relive them (or discover them for the first time) in the OiNK Real-Time Read Through. Enjoy!

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OiNK MEDiA COVERAGE

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CHRiSTMAS 2024

YOUNG ME iN STUFF!

It was 10th December 1988 and my mum, dad and I had just returned from a local Christmas jumble sale and I’d sat down on the sofa to read the comics we’d picked up from the newsagent on the way home, beginning with Marvel UK’s Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends. I may technically have been a few years older than the target audience even at that young age but I still loved the show and my Hornby train sets, so I was still collecting the comic too.

It was only the second Christmas edition (of a comic that still continues to this day) and I remember my parents were in the kitchen unpacking whatever we’d bought at the community centre and making cups of tea. I’d only been reading comics for a couple of years but I’d already fallen in love with the issues published this time of year. Tim Marwood’s cover may have been missing snow on the logo but I don’t think we can accuse him of holding back on the Christmassy feel.

Inside, the editorial made mention of a page of drawings sent in by readers a few months previous and I’d completely forgotten I’d sent one off. So, I sat there and continued to flick through the issue to see what was ahead of me, as I would do with all the comics I got that day before deciding which one to read first. A few seconds later my parents had the fright of their lives when I screamed at the top of my voice and came running towards them!

I can clearly remember my mum’s panic dissipating into laughter and a huge smile as I showed off the Thomas comic in my hand where my drawing had been chosen to be printed! I’m not sure why I’d never sent anything to OiNK over the previous two years (it had been cancelled two months before this), given the excitement I felt that day knowing thousands upon thousands of kids would see my Gordon, Thomas and Percy (the three Hornby engines I owned) in their Santa hats.

On the 36th anniversary (blimey!) of that moment I thought I’d share the few occasions as a child that I saw my name in print in some of my favourite publications of the time. I began writing in to many comics with letters or drawings but I wasn’t successful until four years later. By that time I was in high school and in the middle of a different big craze amongst my friends, the Teenage Mutant HERO Turtles.

Any international readers might be a bit confused by the title there. Our turtles were called “heroes” rather than “ninjas” in the cartoon, its song and any merchandise, all because stuffy Brits thought “ninja” was too strong a word. Even all of Michelangelo’s nunchakus moments were edited out of the cartoon and the movie was sliced apart upon release. All this even though the comic and toys would show those weapons. So strange to think back to those times!

Anyway, as I babysat my niece one night I drew a picture of said mutant turtle for no real reason. So chuffed was I with the end result that I added a quick background and sent it off to the comic, once again forgetting I had done so. The thing is, I cancelled my reservation for it not long after, some time before issue 50. Almost a year later, knowing we had some classes in school that our teachers wouldn’t be there for (I can’t remember why) I decided to buy a comic on the way and the best option on the shelves was #67 of Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles Adventures.

Talk about a lucky coincidence. I’d flicked through the comic on the bus but only during one of those classes did I sit down to read it properly and discovered I was in it! It had taken them long enough to print it and to this day I still find it quite unbelievable this was the only issue I ever bought after I’d stopped collecting it. It was the last drawing I sent to a comic but my letters continued, for example inside an issue of a new, futuristic magazine.

After seeing the new 3DO machines on an episode of Channel 4’s Equinox I was sold! It was to be the new standard for interactive entertainment much like radio or VHS and I wanted in on the ground floor. The story of the 3DO is for another time but I became an early subscriber to Future Publishing’s Edge and in the days before widespread internet in all our homes this was the only way to get my queries answered before I spent (my parents’) money on the system.

Why I thought Edge would know anything about Jaws I have no idea and I was heartbroken that Equinox had lied to us. As you can see I was by no means the only person hyped by 3DO and while I adored my Panasonic model, I still covet that Sanyo machine on the other page to this day. I also collected the bi-monthly 3DO Magazine around this time and got another set of queries answered in its final issue. Unfortunately, I never kept them and they go for silly money on eBay these days, but eventually I’ll track down what other not-as-important-as-I-thought-at-the-time questions I had and add that magazine to this post.

There was one publication I appeared in quite frequently and I’m currently tracking down all of its issues to complete my collection. It was a computing magazine that’s already featured on the blog for its coverage of the OiNK computer game and the fact it was the very first magazine I ever bought, beginning a few years before Edge. That superb magazine was Commodore Format, also from Future.

Yep, that’s me in my school uniform with my friend’s fluffy duck. (I know, you have questions.) We really thought that would make a good promotional photo. The story of Commodore Format and how formative it was for me and my friend Colin is worthy of a post all of its own, so that’ll be something I’ll dive deeper into in 2025 and I might even be able to get Colin involved. So if you want to find out what the hyper-intelligent duck forced us into then keep an eye on the blog over the next year sometime.

Did you ever see yourself in print as a kid? Friends of mine found their way into the pages of Transformers, 2000AD and even other issues of the Turtles. Maybe you were a lucky pig pal and impressed Uncle Pigg enough to get published in the blog’s namesake and received a piggy prize? If so, feel free to reach out to me on the blog’s socials (Instagram, Threads, Bluesky, Facebook), I’d love to hear your stories too.

PERSONAL POSTS

CHRiSTMAS 2024

COMiNG UP: CHRiSTMAS TRANSFORMERS YEAR ONE

This must’ve been an exciting cover for fans of the new Transformers comic from Marvel UK, with that crossover event splashed across it, taken from the American comic and drawn by Mike Zeck. But that’s not why it’s being featured on the blog. Inside, this issue contained information on the first of the seven Christmas issues for the Cybertronians produced between 1984 and 1990.

At this early stage the comic was a very different beast to what most will remember. In its first year it was a 32-page fortnightly comic filled with lots of extra features beyond the two comic strips, all of which were given equal billing to the Transformers themselves. Hence why the Next Issue promo has a preview image for Machine Man and our lead characters are nowhere to be seen!

As regular blog readers will know I’ve read all 332 issues (plus annuals, specials etc.) of this series in real time over on the blog’s Instagram and there’s now a blog post enabling you to check it all out in whatever order you wish. The American Transformers Generation 2 monthly is also in the middle of a full read through on the blog at the time of writing. Now, I’m kicking off a special yearly series of posts for the 40th anniversaries of original comic’s Christmassy editions and books.

Beginning in 14 days and continuing over the next several years, every Christmas I’ll be taking those special issues and annuals already covered briefly on Instagram and giving them the full blown OiNK Blog treatment on each of their 40th birthdays. Some of them are amongst my very favourite issues of the comic’s run and the hardback annuals were festive feasts, often including elements of lore that continue to this day in the likes of the recent Transformers One!

The first Transformers Annual wasn’t released until the comic’s second year so in 2024 we’ve just got #7 of the original fortnightly to have a gander at. It’s got a lowkey Christmas vibe compared to what came later but it’s still a fascinating look at how these yearly treats kicked off, and an interesting look at just how different Transformers was in those first 12 months. So come back on Sunday 15th December 2024 for the latest Cybertronian addition to the blog.

GO TO iSSUE SEVEN

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CHRiSTMAS 2024

BiG COMiC BOOK 1989: REPRiNTiNG LiKE A BOSS

As is traditional on the blog the first festive post after the Christmas introduction is the next volume in the Big Comic Book series from Fleetway, collecting together more classic strips from their flagship title Buster, as well as Whizzer and Chips and Whoopee, the latter of which had already ceased publication by the time this series began. This hardback 256-page whopper pretty much keeps to the same formula as before, which is no bad thing.

With all eight books on the shelf behind me as I read, it feels like a real event to finally be able to crack open another and see what’s been included this time. Of course, I grin from ear-to-ear as I flick through it and spot a certain toothless great white shark on several pages, once again drawn by John Geering from the pages of Buster. He may not have been the original artist but for me he was the first whose undersea world I saw and this strip is written by OiNK’s very own Graham Exton.

I just laugh so hard at how expressive John’s version of the character is. Despite a shark being somewhat limited in details, John’s expert way with Gums’ eyes can convey everything from sadistic humour to intrigued, self-importance or even fear! I adore his drawing of the white whale too. As for what appears to be some kind of distant, abandoned underwater city and a briefcase or petrol can in the first panel, I’ve no idea. I’ve even asked some experts and we’re none the wiser. It just seems too specifically drawn to be some random background detail. Perhaps it refers to something from a previous Gums strip.

This isn’t the last you’ll hear of Gums or the only highlight of his you’ll see this Christmas. If you’re a fan of the Jaws wannabe you’ll want to come back here on Wednesday 4th December 2024 to read a full review of Rebellion’s first Gums book! It collects together all of the original Monster Fun strips and I’m hoping it’ll prove to be one of the highlights of the holiday season on the blog this year (I haven’t read it yet).

This is the first I’ve seen Boy Boss., written by OiNK co-editor Mark Rodgers. According to Graham, “His experience of Big Business were working in a betting ship in Whitby, tending bar at his dad’s British Legion in Redcar, and packing tampons for the Christmas rush at Lewis’s department store in Leeds. So he was very much winging it.” (Thanks for commenting on the post with this, Graham!)

Originating in Wow! and merging into Whoopee, Boy Boss is the owner of a huge multi-national corporation but he’d rather be out playing with his mates. That’s the basic premise. He also has a put-upon assistant by the name of Jasper who tries to keep him on the straight and narrow and ultimately boring life that would serve the company’s bottom line the best. While there are funny moments, I can’t help but notice two of his strips make jokes of things we rightly scorn today, namely getting employees to work through the breaks and insisting they’re reachable on days off or even on holiday (which at the time of writing is a hot topic on social media).

I’m not for one moment suggesting artist Frank Diarmid (Roger the Dodger, Kid Kong, Frankie Stein) would’ve supported such things, it’s just a silly comic strip and they’re genuinely funny, especially the endings of both where Boy Boss is actually on the receiving end of his own ideas. I’m just making the point that these are examples of some the contents of these books showing their age a bit.

They were already classic strips from older editions of the three weeklies when this was published in 1988, never mind now. However, having read three of these mammoth books so far it’s comforting that they still read so well decades later. Although, there may be one character who could be seen as somewhat problematic today, who I’ll get to further on.

Just how big does a VCR need to be?!

I had to check on the artists for the next two strips with those friends of the blog, Lew Stringer and John Freeman. For (deep breath) Ivor Lott and Tony Broke with Milly O’Naire and Penny Less (phew!) I was quick to assume it was Sid Burgon but there’s no signature. While it was rare for cartoonists to be allowed to do so back then (OiNK very much broke that mould), Sid always did and his strips elsewhere in this book have his name written on them.

Originally appearing in Cor!, the original strip with just the two boys continued all the way through to Buster’s final issue. The girls had been stars of Jackpot and when it too merged with Buster they came along and the strips also joined together, although the girls’ names were dropped from 1985 despite continuing to appear.

[Speaking about a friend of mine], the similarities to Benny Bones couldn’t be ignored

Every week Ivor and Milly would boast about some material possessions they owned, usually things that were bigger and grander than those owned or coveted by Tony and Penny. Inevitably, in the end their boastful ways would land them in trouble and the two “poor” characters would have the last laugh. There’s a not-very-subtle lesson in there for us all, and I enjoyed seeing the imaginative ways the strip would lead to its predictable conclusion. Although, just how big does a VCR need to be?! Surely more expensive technology is meant to be smaller and sleeker, even in the 70s and 80s?

I haven’t forgotten about the issue of the artist responsible and below is the other strip I wanted to bring up. Whizzer and Chips star, Benny Bones was the ultimate in lazy children and would often put more mental effort into how to get out of doing something than it would take to do it, often falling asleep in the process.

On the day I read this strip my friend Vicki and I were watching the same TV show in our two separate houses. Over a text she asked me what time it was over at and I told her she could just press the button on her remote to find out. Her response was that she was watching it in bed and was too lazy to do that… despite the effort it took to ask me via text! The similarities to Benny couldn’t be ignored, but the fact this very strip contains a similar moment was such a coincidence it had to be included in this review!

So anyway, I found out Colin Whittock drew Lazy Bones until 1986 but there’s no information on who took over. This strip is likely to have been drawn before then but it’s somewhat looser in style than normal. As for Ivor et all, the same conclusion was drawn by the experts. Perhaps Sid was on holiday, for example, and someone had to ghost his style. We’ve no way of finding out so for now I’ll say they’re most likely by Sid and Colin respectively, but there’s a chance some unknown cartoonists were responsible.

Originally in Cheeky Weekly then Whoopee, the Paddywack mini-strips by Jack Clayton were basically about an idiot who made stupid mistakes. While it was never confirmed, there was an assumption he was Irish, back at a time when Irish people could be the butt of jokes in the playground. In these more enlightened times we simply wouldn’t do that anymore. Name aside, there’s nothing in any of the strips of his I’ve read that I’d have a problem with, and I live in Belfast.

I do remember as a teenager telling one of those Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman jokes to an English friend who had told many of them to us. But of course we changed it so the Englishman was the butt of the joke. He was greatly offended! He completely missed the point we were trying to make and continued telling us there was nothing wrong with the way he told those jokes, but ours was wrong. Take from that what you will.

Drawn by the always brilliant Mike Lacey, Kids’ Court only ran for a few years in Whoopee in the 1970s, but it was so memorable when I originally read it in these books and Big Comic Fortnightly. At its core it’s a basic role reversal strip but it’s done so brilliantly and so chaotically it feels highly original. In this world the kids are the cops, the judges and the juries punishing misbehaving adults. I particularly like the way the captured park warden is still in the letterbox when he gets his court date! That made me laugh.

On the very next page from Kids’ Court comes one of the double-page spreads for Jim Watson’s Store Wars, a strip of two halves for me. Originally in Whizzer and Chips, it was basically another version of Ivor Lott and Tony Broke, with Mr. Superstore and his mega-store constantly trying to put the tiny, local Bloggs and Son shop out of business but constantly failing to do so, often spending huge amounts of cash in the attempt.

Having deleted my Amazon account last year I’m enjoying using smaller businesses online and across Belfast so this strip felt particularly relevant upon reading it, if in a highly exaggerated way of course. Why is it a strip of two halves? Because in every example in this book there’s a very funny outcome but there’s always a somewhat patronising statement from Mr. Superstore explaining the joke. They’d be much funnier without these.

Every year I’m trying to show you different strips than those I’ve shown you in previous Big Comic Books (apart from Gums, of course) and lastly for this year is a character I have no recollection of whatsoever from childhood, which is a shame because his pages are great. I did enjoy his inclusion in The Tom Paterson Collection though. From the pages of Whizzer and Chips and drawn by the hilarious Tom, here’s Guy Gorilla.

Transforming into a giant gorilla whenever he eats peanuts, he retains a modicum of awareness of who he is and doesn’t cause any real harm, just a lot of panic and mess. I think it’s a really fun set up and the more episodes I read in this book the funnier it got that no one knows it’s him! Everyone is very aware that there’s a random gorilla hanging around somewhere and Guy’s excuses about why he’s never there at the same time can be so silly, but they take his word for it every time. A great little strip that unfortunately only ran for about a year in total.

And that’s us for another year, folks! As you can see below there’s still a ways to go. With five more Big Comic Books (and two Funny Fortnightly/Monthly volumes) you can expect more classic highlights from some of the most renowned UK cartoonists of all time up until Christmas 2029 at least! That’s if you don’t all get bored of me in the meantime.

This year you can also expect reviews of Rebellion’s Gums collection on Wednesday 4th December and the Buster Book 1990 (released in 1989), the first to feature fan favourite OiNK characters after the merge, which you can check out from Thursday 19th December. It’s already shaping up to be the best Christmas on the OiNK Blog yet!

1988 BOOK < > 1990 BOOK

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CHRiSTMAS 2024

iT’S CHRiSTMAS 2024 TiME!

As I sit in my living room, buoyed by my tree lights twinkling, my electronic fire-effect fireplace animating and my Apple HomePod providing the sound effects, and warmed by a combination of my gas heating finally being on all day and a Starbucks Eggnog Latte in my belly, I welcome you all to Christmas 2024 on the OiNK Blog. What a feast I’ve got in store this year.

I really try to better each year’s festive season and if I do say so myself I think I’ll achieve it with what’s coming your way. There may be no more OiNK Books to cover but that doesn’t mean Uncle Pigg’s comic won’t be the star. Kicking off on Saturday 30th November 2024 is the first of a four-part weekly series called The OiNK Interview Series, starring no less than 11 of the comic’s top contributors!

Every Saturday during the build up to Christmas Day they’ll provide answers to one specific OiNK-related question, the same question to everyone. It’ll be a fascinating look behind-the-scenes of OiNK and its creative team. This is one series of posts I’m particularly looking forward to, but that’s not all for the pig pals among you.

In fact, pig pals themselves are the stars of this year’s Christmas Day post. Ever wish you’d purchased some of that groovy OiNK merchandise? Some pig pals still have their Prime Porky Products all these decades later and are more than willing to make the rest of us jealous by showing them off. So that’s exactly what a handful of fans will be doing on The Big Day.

Also this Christmas season is the third part in our occasional series of lovely retro adverts from the pages of OiNK, suitably enough all of the Toys and Games that had us drooling. You can check them out on Friday 27th December. Also, watch out for an interview with OiNK co-editor Mark Rodgers in the pages of a Christmassy Speakeasy from 1987, in which he discusses OiNK’s creation, controversies and their plans for the weekly. That’ll be here on Thursday 12th December.

I’ve already featured both of OiNK’s annuals but our coverage of its characters in seasonal books doesn’t stop there. The first Buster Book to feature Tom Thug (as well as Pete and his Pimple and Weedy Willy) gets the full OiNK Blog treatment on Thursday 19th December. Before that, the 1989 volume of its sister title, Big Comic Book starts off our Christmas celebrations on Wednesday 27th November in the third year of its blog read through.

My very favourite star of Big Comic (he’s a highlight of every review in that series), Gums has his own book out, Classic Gums. I received it last Christmas and it’d make for the perfect hint to throw to your loved ones! You’ll be able to check out highlights from the toothless wonder in his own review on Wednesday 4th December. We’re not done with the annuals though.

Michael and K.I.T.T. have been yearly stars of the blog and 2024 is no exception. My favourite TV series of my childhood… actually, of my life… may have lasted for four years but it had five annuals altogether. The middle book in the Knight Rider Annual series has more strips, prose stories, interviews and those oh-so-80s pin ups for you to check out on Tuesday 17th December.

The Transformers made their debut on the blog this year with the Generation 2 real time read through and full access to the epic seven-year-plus Instagram read through of the original UK comic. Beginning on Sunday 15th December is the first of a new yearly series of in-depth reviews of the Transformers Christmas issues from that original run. You’ll also see the previous issue’s Next Issue promo on Sunday 1st December. The first year of that comic was very different to what you remember, believe me! So make sure you check that out.

The Christmas issue of Transformers contains reader drawings as part of the festivities, and in a special post this Christmas I’ll be showing the earliest examples of Young Me In Stuff, namely some of my childhood comics and magazines. The first time it happened was met with much exhilaration at the surprise of it all, so the post will go up on the anniversary of my drawing seeing print, on Tuesday 10th December.

Let’s also not forget our three current real time read throughs! This Christmas you can expect the special, final issue of the simply hilarious The Sleeze Brothers (#6) on Monday 23rd December, a festive Christmassy cover adorns the Aliens comic of all things (#7) on Christmas Eve (the perfect day for a little horror story or three) and the Dinobots are the cover stars of Transformers Generation 2 #4 on Sunday 29th December.

Phew! Throw in two personal posts on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve on the blog (links below), and a review of this year’s Christmas Beano on John Freeman‘s Down the Tubes website, and I hope you can appreciate why I’m feeling exhausted just telling you about everything that’s to come! I love writing this site and I particularly adore doing so when it comes to all the Christmas content. It’s going to be the best yet, so Merry Christmas everyone! Now, let’s have some fun!

(If you’d like your own Tom Thug Christmas angel for your tree, you can print out the page from OiNK in this post.)

CHRiSTMAS MESSAGE

NEW YEAR MESSAGE

2023 < > 2025

CHRiSTMAS MENU