This is a really stinky, smelly, rubbish issue of OiNK. However, as pig pals will attest that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Instead, it’s rubbish with a capital ‘R’ because David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is back after a long hiatus. Originally appearing in every comic, special and book, Rubbish Man disappeared when OiNK when weekly with #45, however David continued to contribute to every issue with his uniquely bizarre sense of humour.
Not intending to do things by halves, Jimmy Bung (our hero’s alter ego) takes up a whopping ten pages of this issue, his adventure split up into five double-page spreads and as you can see by the cover it has a rather famous guest star in the shape of then American President, Ronald Reagan. And a slime monster. Naturally. I love the ‘Reagan In Arms Trouble’ headline, mimicking the newspapers of the day. Interestingly (or coincidentally) the three characters who’d be making the transition to Buster comic in a month are all mentioned on the cover, and watch out for a special blog post next week about that top corner announcement!
We kick things off right at the top of page two with Kev F Sutherland’s Here Comes Rhymin’ Simon, a one-off character whose name suggests the joke will be based solely on how he speaks. However, we should know by now never to predict a strip by Kev. My point is proven when the story actually takes a dig at the push for ‘Made in Britain’ in the press at the time, something Spitting Image also masterfully took the hand out of. Even at my young age (back then, not now) I can remember my friends and I making jokes about those little stickers.
A strong satirical start that this kid definitely appreciated at the time and a few pages later Marc Riley’s Harry the Head returns to top form too. Harry’s strips were always at their best when they were full pages and individual stories. The lengthy adventure serial he had for a few months in the fortnightlies didn’t really work for me and, while his mini-strips in recent issues have been funny, reading this next page reminded me of how strong his entries were right back at the beginning of OiNK.
While having Harry stitched up inside Barney could have made for some (possibly rather disturbing) fun, the end made me chortle. As if Harry being a disembodied head wasn’t a dead giveaway, slapping on a joke shop disguise is just so ridiculous with an already ridiculous character I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s nice to see Marc back to writing for Harry too.
After what felt like a Lew Stringer special last month, the prolific cartoonist returns to a more regular workload. There’s a one-page Tom Thug which rings true, in which we see Tom taking on the true persona of all bullies including the online troll variety. Then Pete and his Pimple’s three-page strip starts off with this imaginative photo collage as he travels into the far-flung future to seek out a pimple cure after a suggestion from reader Matthew Browning of Kent.
A nice little 2000AD reference there too.
The story is a good ‘un if you can track down the issue, with Pete arrested in a world where anyone with spots is jailed for everything that’s wrong with the world, after the government has run out of other minorities to blame. Just to nail the point home, when a robotic claw grabs him it’s named ‘Claws 28’ after Margaret Thatcher’s draconian anti-LGBTQ+ Clause 28 from the late 80s. It’s yet another example of Lew’s social commentary that’s both very funny and unfortunately still very relevant.
Time to see what that front cover was all about and in a distant galaxy we meet the crazy baddie (aren’t they all?) Dr. Blip, the last of his race, and his two henchmen The Glove Puppets From Hell. In order to hold all of planet Earth to ransom for fifty squillion, zillion pounds and a copy of Dire Straits’ latest album he’s kidnapped Reagan and sent the largest monster Rubbish Man has ever faced. How large? Well…
Jings, Rubbish Man! I do believe you’re right! That would’ve been one helluva cliffhanger had the original idea for this strip as a weekly serial been realised. Hinted at back in #52, the plan was for this to be a five-part story but it’s clear David ended up creating it for the monthly format; there are no titles at the beginning of each part (unlike The Street-Hogs in #65 which had been partially drawn before the shift to monthlies) and it all feels very spaced out, like it was created for a larger format.
Below is the page where Reagan is kidnapped by one of Dr. Blip’s hideous monsters just as he’s on the telephone to our smelly hero. The panels are huge and every double-page spread feels like one page of David’s usually packed pages stretched out. The art is gorgeously coloured (a rare thing for Haldane in OiNK) and the grotesque creature is suitably (comically) horrific and very random as per David’s humour, but there’s just not as much to read as we’ve come to expect.
There’s something else missing too. Where’s the mouldy custard squirting out of Rubbish Man’s nostrils? Or the mushy peas spraying out from his fingertips? Or his super garlic breath? While it’s a funny and imaginative strip, apart from one solitary smelly foot none of his powers are present. They were the whole point of the character and why he was so beloved by the children reading the comic.
Instead, all of the gross out humour is reserved for the stomach of the planet devouring beast and hordes of undigested carrots. Or rather, a “hungry horde of psychopathic, semi-digested, blood-crazed diced carrots”. It may not feel like a classic Rubbish Man story but I can’t fault the imagination on show and where else would you find a superhero not only swimming through a swamp of ear wax, but also commenting on how this isn’t his first time.
The story comes to its conclusion when Reagan utters some magical Presidential words told to him by his wife Nancy earlier that day (“Jumpin’ Jellybeans!”) and turns into President of the United States Man. Yes, really. With a simple, single superhero punch Dr. Blip (himself modelled on a certain 80s English politician) is defeated and Rubbish Man takes care of the Glove Puppets from Hell he’d been forced to wear in equally easy fashion. Of course there’s just one more issue to mop up.
Or not, as it turns out.
With the new target audience of teens and students it’s strange to see the absence of the smelly and unhygienic nature of the character. (Surely they’re an even more perfect group of readers for him!) As it stands it’s a fun strip which I think needed about half the space it took up here and I can only imagine the extra laughs it could’ve contained had it been written as five individual strips in the weekly OiNK. As an epic adventure for this particular character it could’ve been so much more.
This was his penultimate strip, with a similarly lengthy story to come in the OiNK Winter Special next year, then there’s a reprint in the OiNK Summer Collection the year after. He doesn’t even pop up in the forthcoming OiNK! Book 1989 (see further below). It’s such a shame because he was a real highlight of those early issues, my favourites to this day still being the colourful Kentucky Fried adventure from the very first issue and the multiple laughs to be had in #9’s bonkers entry. Farewell for now Jimmy, it’s been a whiffy blast. Meanwhile…
This Meanwhile… from Kev F reminds me of a smaller strip by Vaughan Brunt and Mike Green from #31 and just like Vaughan’s debut this was also repeated umpteen times in the school playground to anyone who’d listen. Nice little cameo by one of Kev’s Three Scientists from last month’s highlights, too. From a spoof of one classic comics superhero to a spoof of another classic comic’s adventure strip, this time of the British variety.
Danny and Penny Cretin were overjoyed when their uncle built them an amazing mechanical fish
The Iron Salmon, Lew Stringer
Back in the 60s Beano would have a couple of adventure strips in amongst the silliness and OiNK cartoonist Lew Stringer’s favourite was The Iron Fish, a tale of two young children who owned a fantastic metal submersible in the shape of a giant, dynamic-looking fish in which they’d have various adventures. A couple of decades later and Lew teamed up with artist Andy Roper to bring life to The Iron Salmon, a rather more cumbersome and sorrowful-looking vehicle.
The two children may have the same forenames as their Beano originals but their surname was changed to one Lew felt better suited the rather wet personalities of Beano’s pair. While the adventure strip had them poke their noses into things to save the day, here their nosey nature causes disaster after disaster, neither of them having the intelligence or self-awareness to know they’re the ones causing all of the problems to begin with. This is great fun.
Andy’s art is perfect for spoofing classic comics. He did so with OiNK’S take on Rover‘s and Victor’s Tough of the Track and of course let’s not forget his main contribution to our comic, the phenomenal Spectacles of Doom. The fact the original Iron Fish’s headlights looked like ferocious eyes is brilliantly transformed into big cute ones instead, with a further set of headlights making it look even more gormless. Sadly no longer with us, you can see more highlights from Andy’s time on OiNK including his Scruff of the Track, in his obituary.
You can also check out Lew’s posts about The Iron Fish on his old Blimey! blog, including some of the earliest ones he read as a child, its reinvention for Buddy comic and even a real-life version, The Seabreacher!
As a kid this was the first monthly I spotted strips (as opposed to the posters, which I’d missed the first time) I’d originally read a year or two earlier. This disappointed me but was by no means a deal breaker. Including those posters there are eight pages of reprint material here, more than the previous issues but on the back page came news of something glossy and new! The OiNK! Book 1988 had been so incredible the previous Christmas I’d eagerly awaited its sequel. Now, word finally reached pig pals of the 1989 volume.
It was great to see the old logo again. As a kid I hadn’t realised I’d actually missed it until I saw this superb J.T. Dogg cover. His illustration made up for the disappointing news it contained 16 less pages than the previous book, especially disappointing given the regular comic now had 48! As a result, the book having only 16 more pages than the comic it was advertised in felt rather stingy when I originally saw this advert. I could only hope it wouldn’t disappoint on Christmas Morning. We’ll find out in a few short months.
We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon
There’s a surprise return to strip form for one more character before I sign off this review. I’ll end on that but first the Next Issue page (which you’ll see in its own post on Friday 20th October 2023) contains a gorgeous Frank Sidebottom cover which sadly adorns what would be the last issue of OiNK. I can’t believe we’ve come this far already. Don’t worry though, there’s a ton of OiNK content still to come, both in the immediate future and for years yet on the blog.
For example coming next week is that post promised above, on Sunday 15th October you’ll see how Buster comic announced the merge to come the following week, then on Sunday 22nd October you’ll have two reviews to read, one for OiNK #68 and another for the first four Busters starring three of our favourite characters. Then it’ll feel like no time at all until The OiNK! Book 1989 is reviewed on Christmas Day. For now, as we approach the end it feels fitting to have Mary Lighthouse (critic) back in the pages again, here written by F. Jayne Rodgers (co-editor Mark’s sister), her sole contribution and drawn as ever by the irreplaceable Ian Jackson. We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon.
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