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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

SLEEZE BROTHERS #5: DOWN THE PAN

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With no ‘Next Issue’ dates in any of these Marvel UK (Epic imprint) comics I had to do a little research in order to find out the specific release dates. Just as I did for Dragon’s Claws and Death’s Head I dug through my extensive Transformers and The Real Ghostbusters collections and checked every one of their Mighty Marvel Comics Checklists, which the publisher printed for 18 months in total around this time.

It was worth it because every other online resource simply states the month on the cover, which as you can see is somewhat out. Arriving only three weeks after #4 but a whole nine weeks before #6 (I’ll get to that further below), the penultimate issue of The Sleeze Brothers arrived today in 1989 and the incompetent detectives don’t exactly appear to be flushed with success. (Sorry.)

Each month the inside cover has been given over to a different character in an original take on an editorial where they wax lyrical about something that’s on their mind, something which also acts as an introduction to an aspect of that month’s story. In this case, the President’s mistress Marilyn Blondclone informs us in her own way of the Scoopers, a band of mutated humans living in the sewers far below the city.

The first strip page shows us a couple of such people digging about the sludge for food, their speech patterns conveying that they purposely block their noses to deal with the stench. Upon discovering a cabbage one states, “Dover dare, a nabbage. Lovely – notten right frew!” Everything in the city is recycled, but what can’t be ends up down here. But that’s not all to be found.

I love how every month the double-page title spread acts almost like a movie poster for the story. They convey everything we need to know about the humour and the imagination that’ll be on display for the next 20 pages, probably none more so than the Psycho-inspired spread in the previous issue. I particularly like the little in-jokes the comic is so good at, such as here with the replacement for the usual “Stan Lee presents”.

The same team as always are present and correct: John Carnell (writer), Andy Lanning (pencils), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Steve White (colours), Helen Stone (letters) and Dan Abnett (editor). The story sees Marilyn about to attend the Phoney awards where it’s been fixed for her to win yet again, but her previous year’s trophy has been stolen and it contains her insurance policy against the love of her life (the President), something to guarantee her luxurious lifestyle.

The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz can retrieve it

Stolen by The Frog Burglar (he’s exactly what it says on the tin), the national security head J. Edgar Hairdryer makes a return and threatens the frog with a Terminator-type villain if he doesn’t hand the award over. The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz (who reminds me of Rizzo from The Muppets) can retrieve it. Following a lead, the Sleezes end up at the Frog’s emporium where he sells his extensive stolen goods to the masses.

Have a very close look at that first panel and lurking in the shadows of the queuing public you should spot it’s actually Freddy Kruger who’s having a “nightmare” of a time alongside a certain floating green (and most definitely slimy) apparition from the other comic this creative team had a huge hand in. Reading The Sleeze Brothers has me gagging to finish my Real Ghostbusters collection so I can get stuck into reading that too!

While waiting outside El’ Ape and Deadbeat seem to confirm what I suspected back in #1, that they know they’re in the pages of a comic. Then, after acquiring what he came for, a heavily armed religious nut job soon causes death and destruction in the name of peace, love and god (some things don’t change in America it would seem, even in a far future that’s taking place in a comic).

Amongst all the chaos Frog Burglar is captured by the local police and the Terminator-type is damaged but still able to take its secret commands from Hairdryer, below. (There’s a sentence!) The brothers seem to be nowhere nearer the reward money but things are about to go in their favour. If you can call being covered in frog (and everyone else’s) poo a turn up for the books. 

In prison the two-headed chief of police Pigski learns where Frog Burglar has hidden the Phoney all this time, so you can imagine his horror when he finds out the inmate has been granted a toilet break. It’s a very funny scene that could’ve been lifted right out of an issue of OiNK, complete with toilet humour puns and even a mention of a plop. Then, just as you think things couldn’t get any ickier, the Burglar’s attorney arrives.

So, let’s take a look at the situation at (smelly) hand here. The police simply want to retrieve a stolen object, an object Marilyn Blondclone has hired detectives to track down because it contains dirt on the President, who Hairdryer wants to protect, and because of this fact it’s worth a fortune on the black market, and it’s now in the sewers. The same sewers where the story began by introducing us to the people and monsters that dwell there. So the two plots have merged in a brilliant piece of writing that also happens to be bloomin’ hilarious.

However, as one of Pigski’s officers explains, “You’d have to be a crazy, no-brained, lowlife, sonofatube to go down there” with a vicious monster on the loose. So who do you think the police will choose? Ding, ding! Yep, with the Sleezes currently in the clink for interfering in a police investigation, Pigski agrees to drop the list of ludicrous charges he was going to use against them if they retrieve the Phoney. What they find when they venture down makes for a wonderful full-page background.

I’ve already mentioned the licenced Marvel UK comic the team behind The Sleeze Brothers also worked on, so I’m positive that third panel is a funny reference to a famous line in the original movie. Among the Scoopers their leader speaks through his own blocked nose to tells us his name is Broken Potty (although I like to think the bunged up version is his true name) and as per usual with Andy and Stephen’s work there are a lot of funny details the longer you let your eyes wander over the page.

The intricate illustration of this page leads on to the biggest laugh of the whole issue. While The Sleeze Brothers was aimed at a more mature audience than the likes of the company’s licenced fare, I’m sure kids would’ve still got this next gag and had a private chuckle to themselves, their parents none the wiser. There’s a lot of potty humour here but it’s top quality potty humour. (Yes, it exists.) For example, while looking down upon the scene from their sewage pipe El’ Ape senses something and tells Deadbeat, “Shhh! There’s a movement behind us!” Brilliant.

The last handful of pages rush towards the climax. The brothers are captured and tied up as a sacrifice to the monster of the sewers, then a cute little doggie turns into the monster on a whistle command, the frog coming to a suitably grisly end. However, Deadbeat uses his own whistle to transform the monster back to the cute puppy to save him and brother, whistling again to destroy the Terminator with the monster, and one more time to give them a cute pet to get home!

At the awards show President Sinartra, Marilyn Blondclone and J. Edgar Hairdryer are on stage for Marilyn’s “outstanding bits in Silicon Valley” award, and as each part of the finale plays out we’re treated to their reactions, below. In order, their reactions are to El’ Ape appearing with the stolen Phoney on stage, then to the head of the Terminator bouncing out to seek revenge, then they see a camera film fall out of the busted Phoney, and finally they react to El’ Ape opening the film to take a look and ruining it in the bright lights.

To say it’s a madcap story would be to sell it short. It simply doesn’t stop to allow the reader to catch a breath! While the early issues were incredibly funny and original, this and last month’s stories have shown not only that the team has really got to grips with the premise, but that they can continue to outdo themselves every time.

It bodes well for #6, the final issue, but unfortunately for whatever reason there was a big gap before its release. According to the Mighty Marvel Checklists #6 of The Sleeze Brothers wasn’t released for another nine weeks! So you’ll just have to wait until Monday 23rd December 2024 for the next review. That should be a great early Christmas pressie though. But fear not, there’s a little extra treat coming your way on the blog on Sunday 10th November. You’ll just have to wait to find out what it is.

iSSUE FOUR < > iSSUE SiX

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SLEEZE BROTHERS #4: OH, MOTHER!

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This cover perfectly sums up our inept private detectives from the far future of Earth and welcomes us to the first issue of the second half of The Sleeze Brothers’ run. Time is flying and soon we’ll be all out of misadventures for this duo, so I’m glad each episode has proven to be such a riotous, laugh-a-minute ride.

In this issue Mr. A. Mystery has invited the greatest detectives in the city to his outer space murder mystery weekend. Sam Spud, Vanity Case, Charlie Chin, Miss McMuffins and Mike Mallet are all present and correct as spoofs of the most successful fictional detectives. Plus the brothers have been invited too. While the rest enjoy first class snobbery, El’ Ape and Deadwood make the rocket journey in the cargo hold on their way to Norman’s Flotel, and if that name made me giggle to myself then the title spread made me grin from ear-to-ear!

It’s clear that the whole mini-series of six issues is going to be one pastiche after another. While the brothers were (as launch editor Richard Starkings admitted) heavily… ‘inspired’ by The Blues Brothers, it appears every other character, setting and storyline is a parody of some popular cultural icon or other. Well, as a huge fan of Psycho this one was right up my street as soon as it began, with the Bates Motel sitting atop an asteroid floating about in space. As you do.

Murder in Space is brought to us by the same crazy team of John Carnell (writer and co-creator), Andy Lanning (pencils and co-creator, as mentioned), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Helen Stone (letters), Steve White (colours) and Dan Abnett (editor), and this wouldn’t be the same if any one of them had been replaced by someone else. They are the perfect team for this comic!

So it’s The Sleeze Brothers does Agatha Christie meets Alfred Hitchcock and I can comfortably say this is the best issue yet. Not only is the subject matter right up my street but it feels like there’s two issue’s worth of gags squeezed into one and every single one of them lands. Every. Single. One. I’m not exaggerating here, folks. This is hilarious from beginning to end and even the inclusion of what could be seen as a somewhat problematic character today doesn’t detract, as long as you remember when this was written.

The Greebas are an alien race somewhat based on Asian stereotypes of the 80s, with ninja characters in previous issues and the ‘Charlie Chin’ detective here. There’s nothing in this or any other issue so far that pokes fun at any real ethnicity, indeed if anything they come across as aliens who have come to Earth and landed in a part of Asia instead of the clichéd American landings, and have simply learned to fit in there instead of, say, Los Angeles.

So, if you can ignore the very-80s clichéd name you’ll find they’re just another good natured spoof alongside the jokes taking aim at American capitalism, Western politics, US police corruption and the many, many other parodies you’ll see on every page. The characters end up gathered around a table watching a video of the mysterious person who has summoned them, who tells them it’s not a game; a murder is about to be committed and they have until morning to solve it, their very lives depending on it.

“Agghhh! Dieee chip-suckerrrr!”

El’ Ape reacting to a wine cork pop

The loudmouth American, Mike Wallet becomes so outraged that while confronting the spineless Norman Normaller the butler, Norman collapses to the ground, dead. This is one murder the butler didn’t do, as El ‘Ape tells us. There’s no sign of foul play, it’s like a switch had just been turned off on Norman. Then, one-by-one they all start dropping like flies. The film noir detective, Sam Spud (you can guess who he’s based on) croaks it next, poisoned by his drink.

In a particularly funny moment when El’ Ape is making some bad puns about the death, he’s acting all tough until it’s pointed out to him that he’s about to drink the same wine. After two murders right in front of his own eyes it takes things to (almost) affect him directly before he clicks there’s a murderer among them. They decide to split up, the Sleezes taking the wine cellar and one cork pop is enough for El ‘Ape above!

The searches are fruitless and as they gather together again the Greeba’s comment had me roaring. (I’ll be using that one whenever I can.) Concluding the murderer is one of them (hilariously described as “a detecticidal maniac”) they decide to go to their rooms to sleep for the night and all lock themselves in at exactly the same time. But in the morning someone has been hung in their room! A corny poem is left by the murderer at every crime scene and soon they realise they’ve only one option left and sit around a table watching each other until their shuttle back to Earth arrives.

With all the killing making her nervous, Vanity Case, the lady who the male detectives have all been drooling over, heads for the loo but after 20 minutes the remaining three start getting nervous themselves. Deadbeat kicks the door down and they find the room empty and another note. The Greeba panics and sprints to the nearest emergency escape pod which gets ejected from the hotel with a satisfying spitting sound effect.

There are only the Sleeze Brothers left and no murderer has been found, a fact that slowly (very slowly) seeps into El’ Ape’s brain when he finds what he thinks is a goodbye note. The over-the-top comedic guy and the straight guy routine works brilliantly here as one brother’s detective skills crumble (if he had any to begin with) leaving it to Deadbeat to offer up his own elegant solution.

When I turned the next page I saw a large panel with Vanity Case still alive and holding a gun over someone so I assumed for a second she must be the killer, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. There’s no way I could’ve predicted this ending.

So, she’s being held prisoner instead of being murdered because the killer fancies her, of course. We only see him in silhouette for a page or two and he says if any of the so-called “greatest detectives” even bothered to look for secret passages they’d have solved everything and he reiterates the “oldest trick in the book” gag from #1. At this point El’ Ape does indeed find a secret passage, although it’s by fumbling luck of course, and what do they find? Well…!

Nope, I didn’t see that coming! Even with the Psycho parallels, too. Taking the controlling nature of Mother to the extreme, this team’s creative imaginations are either sheer brilliance or evidence of some crazed minds. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. As for this issue’s conclusion, Norman hadn’t died, he’d been put in a comatose state by the “sharp mind” of his parasitic brother Jacques, but as the killer does the usual long-winded explanation (and El’ Ape doesn’t miss a beat with a “I had a hunch” moment), Norman begins to wake.

The ludicrous slapstick of it all is brilliantly realised, isn’t it? The skill of John’s script and the artists’ in bringing it to the page cannot be overstated. From the image of Norman and Jacques fighting it out to Vanity getting accidentally thrown to safety by a panicked El’ Ape, and of course the idiocy of Jacques getting so mad he kills the person in whose body he resides, then pleading with him not to die!

The story ends with El’ Ape and Deadwood thinking they’ve got it all sown up, including the reward. All they have to do is sit on top of the cupboard Vanity is stuck inside until the authorities arrive, explain they solved it all and collect their cash. Then we see the newspaper headline: “Vanity Unveils Vile Villain” and the brothers are back in the luggage haul of the rocket on their way home, only this time inside a wooden case. All that’s left is for El’ Ape to have the final, brilliant word.

What an absolute blast this has been! If you only ever pick up one issue of The Sleeze Brothers make sure it’s this one. Then again, I’ve yet to read the final issues, so maybe hang fire and see if anything trumps this one, although I can’t see how they could. However, after the laughs I’ve had here I won’t underestimate this team’s ability to outdo themselves yet again. The penultimate regular issue will be reviewed right here in only three weeks on Monday 21st October 2024.

iSSUE THREE < > iSSUE FiVE

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THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #3: SiGNED, SEALED, DELiVERED

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Before you ask, no I did not get this third edition of The Sleeze Brothers signed by co-creator and artist Andy Lanning. Clearly someone did back in 1990 but the only reason I got my hands on it was through a lucky find on eBay. So lucky in fact that the owner clearly didn’t know the cover had been signed, there was no mention of it in the description and I was able to get it for a pound or two. Bargain, and a unique addition to the collection.

Inside, you could say it was a brave or a risky decision in only a six-issue mini-series to have a story which hardly features our two lead characters at all. Personally, I don’t think it was brave or risky, it was done for one reason and one reason only: because it’s bloody funny. Over the first 17 pages of comic strip El’ Ape and Deadbeat only appear in a small panel at the bottom of four pages! But it works.

A vast array of brilliantly-named characters take the reigns of the story instead, from President Sinartra (son of an embryo farmer who has caterpillar tracks for legs and feet after an accident) and his mistress Marilyn Blondclone, to Man Hugh of the Human Liberation Front (he prefers his name to be reversed, to Hugh Man) and the local mafia head The Cosmos Father and his faithful fixer Caneloni. Then there’s the six-eyed Hairdryer, leader of the Galactic Investigation Bureau and his secret service agents Clint 116, Eastwood 244, Bronson 245, Nimoy 94 and De Niro 124.

The imagination on display here from writer John Carnell and of course penciller Andy is amazing. Stephen Baskerville’s recognisable inks and Steve White’s gorgeous, outlandish colours round off the art in superb fashion as they always do, however this issue’s story, Big Leap, contains more imagery and more written/drawn gags than ever before. Combined with Helen Stone’s letters and all edited by Dan Abnett, Richard Starkings having resigned, although he had commissioned the whole six-issue series. Credited as ‘originating editor’ here by Dan, according to Richard (thanks for leaving the comment!) he left very little to do. This truly showcases everyone’s talents and what Marvel UK was capable of.

Throughout, the Sleezes are sitting in their office waiting for the phone to ring on a quiet day in The Big Apple. Meanwhile, the H.L.F. have sent an alien (The Bugger) capable of rendering itself invisible into The White Wash (future version of The White House) with a little insect capable of recording video in order to catch Sinarta and Blondclone together in a tryst (hence the alien’s funny name). Their plan is to hold him to ransom for their demands.

Things of course do not go to plan and after the recording has been taken the actual bug itself (unaware it’s being used in this way, the recording capabilities are part of its natural evolution) is seen crawling away from his owner, who then ends up falling from the high perch he’d crept to outside the White Wash. Now, when I say it’s a high perch, I’m not kidding.

We’re told at the start of the story this is taking place at 09:00 and over the next few pages we see all the major players out after The Bugger and time creeps on in narrative captions to 09:20, 09:33, and 09:40. We assume The Bugger has met their grizzly end and these characters are rushing out to find the splatted corpse to retrieve the video. But nope, 46 minutes later we see a workman on the side of a building somewhere get a surprise.

This is a running gag throughout most of the story and it genuinely had me in stitches every time. In previous issues we’ve seen how this futuristic city was very much a spoof of Mega-City One from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd strips, and here the sheer size of the megastructures in that comic are taken to extremes. To say the least. So why is everyone clamouring to find the landing spot of this unfortunate clandestine individual?

Well, the H.L.F. want to get the footage they’ve paid for, especially since they’ve already given their (ridiculous) demands to Hairdryer at the G.I.B. The G.I.B. themselves want to protect the country’s leader. The cat-like Greebas, who have sent a ninja to retrieve the tape, have been secretly recording Cosmos Father and as a result now know about it, and the mafia leader himself intends to profit from bribery too. I’m guessing about the Greebas’ intentions because their alien language is never translated apart from the occasional funny word.

This is the moment the Greebas see, when we get an explanation from Caneloni about the bug’s natural recording abilities and why on Earth (or whatever planet they’re from) they have this ability. It’s just more evidence of John’s insane sense of imagination and fun, and we even get to see the end result of the “playback signals”, complete with a minute bucket of popcorn. Brilliant.

There are so many characters and interweaving plots the whole issue is completely chaotic in the best possible way. Despite it jumping from scene to scene and from one group to another incredibly quickly throughout, it’s always very easy to follow and you just go along for the ride, genuinely laughing aloud with every single turn of the page. There are some more subtle adult gags, a career snitch working for all sides who is nothing but professional and the inability of the deadly ninja to be taken seriously.

Some great examples there of the range of comedy in this issue. Soon (at 09:59 as a matter of fact) all of our main protagonists are gathered around the same building awaiting the arrival of The Bugger and their bug. Hugh Man, still living with his mum, is worried she won’t be happy at his failure despite being a sweet old lady, Caneloni fears for his life and in a hilarious nod to the actor, agent De Niro 124 has to convince Hairdryer who he’s talking to.

It’s only after this page that our comic’s namesakes finally take a leading role. Looking out of their window, El’ Ape thinks all of the people looking up at them means their adverts are finally paying off. That is, until their roof crashes in and a strange alien creature, dead from the impact, takes out El’ Ape’s brand new desk. Furious, his temper doesn’t improve when he takes a drink from their water fountain and discovers some form of insect has fallen inside.

Spitting it out and squashing it with his foot he has no idea of the significance of his actions. Not even when their door (and half their wall) is kicked in and the combined forces of the Cosmos Father’s Caneloni, the H.L.F., the G.I.B. and the Greeba all enter, weaponry at the ready. One look at the scene in front of them though and the whole string of plots come to a sudden, funny end.

I particularly like the third panel on this page with De Niro 124 saying with all sincerity that the destruction of the evidence of what the president was actually doing, and thus keeping his ability to lie about his scandalous relationship, will preserve truth and justice! Hugh Man heads home for tea, Caneloni’s time now seems to be short and the ninja Greeba utters one of the few English words they know.

More annoyed at the state of their office in the space of a few minutes than the fact they’ve a dead body and a bunch of crazies on their doorstep, El’ Ape continues to grumble until they check the news and see a reward for The Bugger. In the final panels, El’ Ape’s attitude predictably reverses and he congratulates himself and his brother for all their hard work in finding him!

I definitely would’ve been compelled to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue

Only appearing on four full pages and a few panels elsewhere hasn’t blunted the attraction of these two characters. They don’t even need to be the leads in their own comic to be able to steal the story for themselves and in doing so deservedly reclaim their lead status. These two are classic comics characters through-and-through and only three issues in they feel so well established that John and Andy can get away with a Sleeze-lite episode. There aren’t many characters that could get away with that so soon.

The issue ends with a floating Dalek staring down at the reader, weapon pointed and at the ready in an advert that really needed the magazine’s logo at the top. As much as I love the Daleks, this wouldn’t exactly have compelled me to fork out for the latest issue. What I definitely would’ve been compelled to do would be to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue. Luckily I already have and it’ll be up for review on Monday 30th September 2024.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

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THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #2: ViSiON PROFESSiONALS

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Between the 80’s 3D movie craze and the 90’s fascination with labelling videogames as “interactive movies”, this second edition of Marvel UK’s (under their Epic imprint) The Sleeze Brothers feels perfectly of its time. Written by John Carnell, it’s also perfectly timed for this blog too, given the other classic comic I reviewed the second issue of just six days ago.

The creative team all return this issue. Co-creator Andy Lanning is pencilling, Stephen Baskerville is inking, Steve White is colouring, Bambos Georgiou is lettering and Richard Starkings is editing. With this being a pre-determined mini-series of six issues I’m assuming the whole of the original team will be present and correct for the remaining issues. I certainly hope so. So, on to that opening page and by coincidence it pastiches the movie last week’s comic review was based on.

In a nutshell, the Nexus Infinity Broadcasting network (whose ‘N.I.B.’ logo design is a lot like the Men In Black movie logo, even though this comic came first) is run by The Reverend Smiler While, a man whose grin could give The Joker a run for his money. He’s selling the latest in TV tech, a system that allows the viewer to be completely surrounded by their programmes.

But this isn’t just all-encompassing video, there’s something much more dangerous at play here that makes it the perfect idea for an out-there Sleeze Brothers plot. We get to see the scale of the outfit in question when Smiler hires the brothers and they head to the N.I.B. headquarters in all of its 80s futurism glory. There’s even an Orson Welles-spoof character inside. As a fan of his movies and of course his War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and after the Aliens opener, was this issue made specifically for me?!

The faceless board members are perfect too. But all is not well. It appears Orsum Wurlds isn’t the fantastic creator he thinks he is. In fact, it appears he’s taken more credit than he was due. Is this a take on the behind-the-scenes controversy over the writing of Citizen Kane? Perhaps, but this goes further and has the original creator of the Reel-to-Real technology (a brilliant name) steal the master tape and use it in place of the one selected for broadcast.

The reel is full of test films that produce somewhat severe end results, showing how dangerous the tech is, it’s something N.I.B. want kept secret. Having just experienced a demo of the new Apple Vision Pro in my local Belfast store this comic suddenly feels decades ahead of its time. Although I doubt Tim Cook would want people to experience their immersive videos to this degree. So, after the very rich customers set up their Dalek-like devices, our first family settle down to watch a classic sci-fi flick.

After Star Wars, another family find themselves and their couch on thin ice between Bambi and Thumper with predictable results and then a customer experiences an underwater documentary and finds themselves in deep water… and unable to breathe. Our inept detectives’ case has evolved from theft to multiple homicides and as they make their way through the network’s headquarters the two-pig-headed chief of police spots them and calls out in a way that shocked me, with a sudden use of the ‘r’-word.

Okay, so this was written 35 years ago, a time when unfortunately the weight and real meaning of that word could be brushed aside for the sake of a name-calling joke. However, there’s only so much that can be brushed aside with “it was a different time” and yes, attitudes have thankfully changed for the better, but even in the 80s I remember being taught it was an abusive term and never acceptable. Perhaps for some people it was still a joke term separate from the hateful meaning. I’ll just have to believe that and continue with the rest of the issue. I know there’s simply no way it was meant in any other way by John, or by Marvel UK.

As per usual the brothers getting to the bottom of a case is more down to luck than any sort of detective work. Our thief overhears them interviewing Orsum Worlds, mistakenly thinks they’re on his tail and comes to the conclusion that he’ll just have to get rid of them before they do. He simply calls them up and gives them a meeting time and place which is clearly a trap. But it gives El’ Ape a chance to look good in front of Deadbeat in this funny bit above.

Heading to the research lab at midnight they find themselves in the spotlight, quite literally as Baird (our thief) blinds them with a studio light and starts shooting at them. El’ Ape’s pleading on his knees doesn’t help matters and neither does the dim-witted cleaning assistant who thinks they’re filming a cops and robbers film and decides to get comfy in the control booth, accidentally activating the Reel-to-Real system with all three of the others inside it!

Cue a selection of cameos in what I’m assuming are some of John’s favourites, beginning with Indiana Jones and Tom & Jerry. In the former they just about escape getting crushed by the famous boulder before almost dying at the hands of Baird and some local tribespeople. Then the machine (under the weight of the cleaner’s elbows as he leans in to see what will happen next) turns them into cartoons.

Just as Michael Jordan found out in Space Jam in the next decade, being in a cartoon means your body can be contorted into all sorts of shapes without breaking a single bone. After being flattened with a frying pan by a somewhat creepy version of Tom it’s almost curtains for them again until the master tape whirrs into action once more, then they find themselves stuck to a wall in a rather familiar fashion. And in front of some rather familiar eggs.

So we find ourselves back where we began. Normally I’m not a fan of stories that have an exciting opening, like it’s the starting point of an equally exciting story, only for it to go back in time to see how we got to that stage instead. But this is one of those rare occasions where I haven’t minded it and I’ve enjoyed the ride for the most part, eagerly anticipating this moment returning.

So how are they going to get out of this situation? The Aliens movie plays out for longer than the others so it appears our gormless cleaner isn’t going to be of any accidental help this time. But as they duck for cover underneath a floor grill it becomes clear this is going to play out like the conclusion of the film, so I really should’ve been a Sigourney Weaver-shaped cameo coming.

Well, okay, not exactly playing out like the film. I definitely laughed at that. So with Baird reduced to a puddle in real life too the case is officially closed. But what of the technology? That master tape may not have been the one meant for broadcast but it showed how dangerous the system is, and all in the name of profit. The issue ends with a news bulletin wrapping everything up and successfully placing none of the blame on the network, all before the issue comes to an end with a quick commercial break (below).

I do love this ending. It’s deliciously dark after what has been an even funnier issue than last time. The Sleeze Brothers themselves are more part of an ensemble rather than the stars of the show but it works, the balance between comedy, commentary and character perfectly balanced. It shows these six issues have the potential to produce six very different stories and keep everything fresh and funny until the very end.

We’ll see if I’m right on Monday 26th August 2024 when the review for The Sleeze Brothers #3 hits the blog.

iSSUE ONE < > iSSUE THREE

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THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #1: A BREATH OF (BOTTLED) FRESH AiR

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I can remember the day I bought this issue of Marvel UK’s (under the Epic Comics imprint) new monthly, The Sleeze Brothers. Sitting in my Aunt May’s house with my mum certain images were seared onto my retinas, in particular the strip’s title spread you’ll see further below. It’s been months since the brothers popped up in Doctor Who Magazine, so just how will they translate to full 22-page stories? Incredibly well is the answer to that.

The editorial is ‘written’ by a stereotypical Huggy Bear-type called Papa Beatbox, some form of MC who gives us a sort of origin story for El’ Ape and Deadbeat. Discarded test tube babies, Beatbox raised them as if they were his own and, despite their gruff, selfish, greedy exteriors they apparently have insides of pure gold. We’ll see about that. 

I didn’t realise Dan Abnett (Knights of Pendragon, Nova, Sinister Dexter) was associate editor until now. As I list those credited with working on The Sleeze Brothers I won’t be mentioning The Real Ghostbusters after their individual names. Just take it for granted that whoever I mention also worked on that comic unless I say otherwise! This was the main reason I loved this issue so much as a kid and why I’ve been really looking forward to it on the blog, because that aforementioned comic was such a childhood favourite.

Only a few pages in and the art team have definitely nailed it

So anyway, on to our strip which is called Nice ’n’ Sleazy. Written by John Carnell (Doctor Who, DC’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy comic) and pencilled by Andy Lanning (Digitek, Nova, Death’s Head II), they also created these characters. Inks are by Dave Hine (Zoids, Mambo, X-Men), colours are by Steve White (Xenozoic Tales, Transformers, editor on Visionaries, Havoc and Death’s Head), letters are by Bambos Georgiou (Slimer, co-creator of Speakeasy and Aces Weekly) and it’s all edited by Richard Starkings (Death’s Head, Dragon’s Claws, Elephantmen) who designed the comic’s logo and chatted with me in the introductory post about the comic’s creation and the Epic label.

After the plethora of artists behind the Doctor Who strip, the comic settles into its art style and I’m loving it from the very first page. This future world is so intricately designed by Andy, and he and Dave are an excellent partnership in bringing out all of the fun details, with Steve’s bright and often gaudy colours really making the pages pop more than anything I’ve read on the blog so far. Only a few pages in and the art team have definitely nailed it. What about the plot?

It’s a simple story but it’s the first issue so it’s main purpose is to introduce the main characters and the world in which they inhabit, with all of its grime, corruption, many and varied alien life forms and the comedic ineptitude of everyone (and everything – we see a police robot forget its directives mid-arrest) that make up the Earth of the future. The Sleeze Brothers actually get involved by accident here, when Finkelly lets a key witness against the Cosmos Father escape and, backed into a corner by his goons, he spots a flyer for the brothers’ detective agency (which doubles as the front cover) and pretends like he knows them.

We then get to meet up with El’ Ape and Deadbeat as they bust in on a husband partaking in some very extracurricular activity. This is the spread I mentioned above and I think you’ll be able to see why it was so memorable to my young eyes! I love the little details here too, such as El’ Ape’s pin badges, the fact we see the photo Deadbeat takes sliding out of the camera and even the husband’s surprised look reflected in El’ Ape’s sunglasses.

Thinking this proves that being private detectives is paying off, El’ Ape’s excitement is cooled when Deadbeat reminds him how much the camera, film and skeleton keys cost, then their last few remaining notes are ripped from his hands by their landlord. Deadbeat is sure they’re not going to earn enough in this line of work but El’ Ape is optimistic and says something always turns up “in these types of stories”. Is this a hint that they’re acknowledging being inside a comic? Even if it’s not, it’s funny.

Back in their office we meet Doris, their receptionist. Well, sort of. You see, she’s a computer and, despite this being set in the far future, Doris is an antiquated desktop complete with cassette deck, so completely unable to move about and do much of a receptionist’s job. She’s just one example of the insane characters John and Andy come up with throughout the issue.

Finkelly hires them to find his twin brother, showing them a picture of the runaway witness and obviously they look nothing like each other. “He parts his hair on a different side to me”, explains Finkelly. This and a suitcase full of cash is enough to convince the Sleezes the case is legit, despite Doris calling them out on it. Yes, these two aren’t exactly the sharpest, just in case you missed their misadventure with the Doctor.

In a scene that reminds me of a funny page in #5 of Death’s Head they start asking around and run into a whole bunch of weird and wacky folk, giving Andy a chance to draw up a variety of inhabitants of the city. This page should give you some indication of the imagination on show throughout the comic and this is only the beginning. Unsurprisingly, asking random strangers doesn’t work out. Without any other ideas they head off to Wong’s Air Bar.

The Air Bar plays up to our legitimate worries of climate change, hypothesising that in the future fresh air is such a luxury it’s bottled up inside pressurised bottles and sold like beer. Not that alcohol is in short supply either, El’ Ape throwing about the cash from their suitcase as if they’ve already solved the case. When the photo accidentally falls out the bar’s proprietor is able to point them in the right direction at last (after some eyes-down-the-barrel-of-a-gun persuasion).

I have to say I laughed at this panel above. The city is very much a spoof of Judge Dredd’s MegaCity One. As well as the so-called “undercover C.O.P.S.” (neither undercover nor decent cops) the brothers’ car is just a Volkswagon Beetle with hovercraft piping instead of wheels, delivery trucks use the same configuration and on other pages we see regular electrical sockets and other contemporary technology, giving it a lovely feel of a future world poking fun at the depictions of the future seen in 80s movies of the day.

The biggest thing that’s purposely out of place for me are public phone boxes (and not a mobile in sight). Here, Deadbeat explains all the technological security these have in order to stop tampering, theft, fee dodging etc., all of which he bypasses by simply sticking a bit of chewing gum on one of its parts. “Oldest trick in the book”, he says. Placing a call to several delivery companies for the building housing their target (that uncanny resemblance to a frog above), it’s bombarded with trucks which keeps the police occupied. The two-headed chief calls for phone line repairmen, who of course end up being the brothers in disguise. It’s a ridiculously convoluted plan and I love it. Although, they’re quickly caught by one of those inept RoboCops.

So that’s two oldest tricks in the book. The ludicrousness of this future world is what has delighted me the most. I had it in my head that the world itself would be more like that in Death’s Head, with some background gags and funny social commentary but for the most part it would play the straight guy to the main characters’ comedy. But in fact the inept duo, one being a loud mouth reactionary and one quiet and thoughtful, are actually the closest we get to normality. And that’s saying something!

Through a chase involving a comedy of errors our detectives catch up with the witness. Not that they know he’s a witness. Cornered and terrified, he whimpers at the end of a back alley while El’ Ape and Deadwood approach. El’ Ape grins. Deadwood is stoney faced as per usual. He clicks open his briefcase and it looks like a professional hit to the defenceless victim, until we see what Deadbeat was reaching for. What happens next over a double-page spread at the end of our story perfectly sums up the humour of the comic.

It’s been a wild and crazy ride and this is only the first issue. You’d be hard pushed to find a comic with a premiere issue that works as perfectly as this one. It feels like a fully developed comic, as if this were the sixth or so issue in its run. Of course, with a predetermined length of only six issues John and Andy had to hit the ground running. They’ve sprinted! Every page is packed full of fun, every gag lands, the leads feel fully formed and the world in which they inhabit is just as big a character as they are.

Let’s hope the remaining issues over the course of the rest of this year live up to the exceptionally high standard this premiere has laid out. It’s also got me thinking about finally finishing off my collection of The Real Ghostbusters to enjoy more of John’s and Andy’s work after this read through is finished. For now I’ll look forward to whatever they have in store for The Sleeze Brothers #2, which will be reviewed right here on the blog on Monday 29th July 2024.

DOCTOR WHO MAGAZiNE 147 < > iSSUE TWO

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