In just two days the latest (in 1986) issue of OiNK arrives and you’ll be able to read the full review with selected highlights right here. So what’s the theme this time and what can you expect to see? Let artist Ian Jackson tell you with this subtle little promo from the pages of #11.
Don’t miss out on the fun, it’s sure to brighten up anyone’s Monday. Follow the blog by tapping the Follow button along the bottom of your screen and get a notification when new reviews are published for all the comics having their own real time read throughs, or do so through the magic of social media with the OiNK Blog on Instagram and Facebook.
So watch out for shoddy alien costumes, a certain critic’s film recommendations and even one of IPC Magazine‘s top artists taking the hand out of his own creations! All in OiNK #12, coming Monday 4th October 2021.
#184 cover by Jerry Paris Other covers by Andrew Wildman
Four covers? What happened to covering these in real time? Well, I still am. Let me explain. As mentioned in the review of the final issue of Visionaries monthly, theKnights of the Magical Light’s final two strips appeared as back ups in the pages of Marvel UK‘s The Transformers in September and October of 1988. With only five or six pages available to them in each issue they’d be split over four issues apiece.
With #183 of The Transformers a new look came to the comic and new stars temporarily replaced Action Force (G.I. Joe). That’s a bit of a strange colour to their logo on the first issue but it matches the image I suppose. Inside, the Visionaries are mentioned in the editorial and there’s a chance for readers to catch up on the story so far, or at least a very simplified version of it.
I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the depth of character and the evolving story on the planet Prysmos and the questions it was raising. I especially enjoyed how Leoric and Darkstorm both wanted the best for their planet but just had very different views on how to achieve that. Leoric’s was by collaboration and helping each other, Darkstorm’s was to enforce law and order to rebuild his planet’s strength, as #4 showed perfectly.
But none of this is included in this catch up, withunfamiliar readers left thinking the Darkling Lords are evil just for the sake of being evil, kind of like the Decepticons were at the beginning. This isn’t the first time our heroes and villains have appeared in the pages of this comic though, and you can read all about the hype and the free mini-comic in a previous post.
Will we get any answers in these final chapters?
On to our story and I thought I’d wait until the date the final part was printed and do one review for it like I had with the monthly, rather than four tinier ones. Right up to the last issue of their own comic it was suggested there was more to Merklynn than anyone knew, and more to their magical totems (the animals they could transform into) than he had let on. Will we get any answers in these final chapters?
Beginning in Leoric‘s castle with an atmospheric opening around a roaring fire, Merklynn appears in cold flames to summon the knights to Iron Mountain. In response to Leoric’s anger at being treated like his chess pieces, only there to do his bidding, Merklynn responds by telling him, ‘In this life, only gods and fools are truly free to choose”. What an evocative start. Oh, how I’ve missed the writing in these stories!
So begins The Quest for the Four Talismans. Gerry Conway is on top form throughout with the dialogue here, Mark Bagley returns to pencil the action-packed mix of the medieval and sci-fi alongside regulars Janice Chiang on letters and Julianna Ferriter on colours. They’re joined by a new inker, Dave Simons who is best known for Ghost Rider and has also worked on everything from Thor to Savage Sword of Conan, all of which perfectly suit this comic and its heady mix of genres.
Basically, four jewels representing the four elements are lost and must be recovered. In these first pages all we know is they contain incredible magical energy and it seems foolhardy to tell this to Darkstorm, who suddenly feels like all his Christmases have come at once. The different questions posed by the two leaders perfectly sum up their characters and why they’d consider risking their lives for this quest, reminding me of the “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” questions posed by the Vorlons and Shadows in Babylon 5.
A little hint is given when Feryl wonders if the usual booming voice from the rock face sounds a little weaker than normal. Before setting off there’s something to take care of first, namely giving the final two characters without staffs or vehicles their magical powers. Galadria and Virulina weren’t in the toy range but were very much canon, also appearing in the cartoon. Given shields instead of staffs I personally feel like the only two female characters got the better deal because the shields look really cool. Such a shame Hasbro never got a chance to make them into action figures. With a typical portent of doom from Merklynn this is where things were left for a week.
The second part moves up a gear. Merklynn is desperately clinging to life, his powers fading rapidly. This raises so many questions. Why is this happening to him? How are the talismans involved? Why were they scattered and lost? Most importantly, why didn’t he simply tell his warriors? Surely they would’ve helped after all he’s done for them? For now the story will keep the readers guessing, which I really like.
“Stop, you idiot! We had them beatennnn!”
Cravex to Reekon
The first teams we’re following are Cryotek and Galadria for the Spectral Knights and Reekon and Cravex for the Darkling Lords. Throughout there’s the beginning of a mutual fondness between the former pair developing. It’s not forced and it was clearly written to be played out over several months. It’s handled maturely and adds a nice dimension to the usually brutish Cryotek. On the other side the camaraderie between Reekon and Cravex can be hilarious. They know they work incredibly well together, but this fact really annoys them and they bicker constantly as a result.
So we have an innocent burgeoning of romantic feelings on the one side, and in contrast a kind of clichéd comedic old married couple between the males of the other team. This contrast works brilliantly. Of course, each side is oblivious to these comparisons and that’s very funny. The perfect example is below, where we see the teams starting their search, following their respective magical guides and a topical (for today) pronoun conversation is mirrored between them.
This part ends with our heroes under attack from the fearsome Dagger Assault vehicle after Reekon spied on their location in his lizard form. But before we’re left hanging for seven days an anonymous yell from off camera and a stone to the head of Cravex signals the locals aren’t too happy and could be coming to the rescue.
Under attack from local villagers and unable to use their vehicle at close range, Cravex recites his fear spell but Reekon is unprepared and becomes affected too, driving them both away in fright in a humorous start to part three. Trakk, the leader of a nearby village introduces his people to Cryotek and Galadria before showing them the ‘God-Tree’. He claims it spoke to him in a dream and asked him to care for it. In return his people would be looked after for all time. Ever since, their crops have been in abundance and they’ve wanted for nothing.
But there’s a problem.
Clearly it’s no god, it’s the Earth Talisman feeding the ground with its magical energies, producing everything needed to feed the previously starving (after the cataclysm) villagers. But they aren’t for sharing. Galadria tries to explain but they won’t listen, not even when she says they have the ability to feed other villages and still have enough to spare. Sneaking about in plain site is Reekon in lizard form again, listening to the paranoia of the villagers who believe they’ve been chosen by god.
He uses this while the Spectral Knights rest to manipulate the villagers. It soon becomes apparent they won’t trust either side now so Cravex uses his fear spell once more. If they can’t get them on their side then the Darkling Lords’ backup plan is simply to create enough of a distraction to steal it. By waiting until Galadria and Cryotek are in the middle of the highly paranoid crowd the fear spell is devastating! The villagers begin attacking and Cryotek (in abject fear from the spell) feels his bear persona rise up from within and he transforms, flinging innocent people left and right, causing a fire in the process.
Being special is a curse if it sets you apart from others and puts them at a disadvantage due to your own privilege
Galadria, noticing her fear is starting to subside, knows this must mean the spell isn’t being cast because their enemies are making a break for it for the jewel. Knocked out by Cravex, this issue’s makeshift cliffhanger is brilliant with Galadria unconscious, surrounded by fire and Cryotek out of control.
This is how The Transformers presented each subsequent part of the story and you can see Cryotek finally regain control as we race towards the climax. Only able to return to human form thanks to the intervention of the magical guide, how far would he have gone otherwise? This question, first properly posed in Gerry’s premiere story in #4 is getting more prominence and I get the feeling it’s something that would’ve made the basis for a large story after this multi-parter.
One negative I have here is how Cryotek puts out the fires. He recites his spell poem which as fans will remember ends with, “Fill the archer’s bow with might”. But unlike the cartoon no archer appears from his staff and instead he just kind of glows and is able to summon increased strength. Unbelievably he claps really hard and the power blows out all the flames. It’s right there in the poem, there’s meant to be an archer. It just doesn’t make sense in the comic but that’s the only criticism I have.
In the end the fear spell has seen the Darkling Lords scurry off with the jewel and win the day, leaving the village in ruins and the people battered and bruised. Still weak, Galadria decides to use her new shield and its spell poem to restore everyone and everything around her. Cryotek is concerned. The spells use energy from those who cast them, she might not be strong enough but she knows they brought this destruction here, it’s their fault so she must try to make amends.
Her spell and its effects take up two full pages and I just love them. They’re beautifully drawn and give a real importance to her character and abilities, which I’m glad of after female characters were completely ignored by Hasbro (something a lot of our toy ranges were guilty of, unfortunately).
She ends up collapsing but it was just enough. Any more and it could’ve possibly killed her, but it’s clear that wouldn’t have stopped her from trying. Now forced to work with other villages, Trakk mourns how they’re no longer chosen by god, they’re “no longer special”. The last word on this fittingly goes to Galadria who explains being special is a curse if it sets you apart from others and puts them at a disadvantage due to your own privilege. I liked this. A lot.
Before I finish here’s a little bonus for you: Combat Colin (co-starring Semi-Automatic Steve)
Action, humour and heart. A superb story. It may have been more basic than the previous two (due in part to its having to introduce the quest in the first place which took up a quarter of the page count) but next time we’ll be able to focus on the quest and a few characters from beginning to end. I can’t wait. The Quest for the Four Talismans was meant to be the first multi-part epic for the American comic but was tragically cut short two parts in. I’ll discuss that more next time.
Before I finish here’s a little bonus for you. Every issue of The Transformers and Visionaries had a humour strip by OiNK star Lew Stringer. Combat Colin (co-starring Semi-Automatic Steve) had come over from the pages of Action Force months previous and was the perfect way to sign off these issues. Below is the strip from #184 of the newly merged comic. Enjoy!
I’ve really enjoyed reading a little bit of Visionaries on a weekly basis and if you’re interested you can join my journey through all seven-plus years of Transformers on the blog’s Instagram. I’m reading an issue every Thursday and posting a handful of photos of the physical comic along with a few paragraphs of information and opinion. It’ll be a venture that’ll come to the blog eventually but for now you can follow along there. (UPDATE: This has now concluded, click here for more information.)
The next (and final) new strip adventure for the Visionaries will be reviewed on the blog on 29th October 2021. It won’t quite be the end though, as you’ll find out next time.
I’ve a distinct memory of reading this issue of Ring Raiders on the school bus and hearing one of the older kids behind us proudly proclaiming, “I’m Joe Thundercloud!” at the top of his voice. Ian Kennedy contributes that sole figure with the free poster taking centre stage. (You’ll see #3’s poster next time.) They were proper gift posters, separate from the comic and I had mine up instantly. My collection of planes was growing, I knew certain large boxes in my parents’ bedroom were bases for Christmas and this was my first reserved issue of the comic. These things had me hooked.
Inside, things kick off with a new multipart tale written by editor Barrie Tomlinson and drawn by Carlos Pino, Battle Zone ’99. The Skull Squadron pilot causing havoc here is Skull Commander Chiller and with this story he immediately became my favourite baddie. I’m sure I wasn’t alone. What kid wouldn’t love a jet with a sci-fi freeze ray? Chiller would love experimenting with various killing methods involving cold and ice and it would appear he fired up the imagination for the writers too, as he would star in more stories than anyone else.
Launching an attack on a futuristic gravity-powered submarine by freezing it, making it brittle, then destroying it with a well-placed missile, he kills the entire crew. This toy comic wasn’t afraid to show its baddies actually being bad and killing innocents to meet their foul goals. In the year 2057 aboard the Air Carrier Justice the Ring Raiders get a warning that a moment in history is being changed by the Skulls and they set off to rescue the second submarine.
There was going to be a Northern European Republic and Scotland was very much a part of it. It feels somewhat prescient
Interestingly, it appears they can’t just set their time travelling planes to appear at any moment they want for fear of altering history further. Instead, once the alert is received via their rings that particular moment in time continues to play out as our heroes scramble. Fans of Doctor Who will know all about how she can’t simply rewind moments in time once they’re in motion and it’s interesting to see this was also part of the rules here.
In this version of our world there was going to be a Northern EuropeanRepublic and Scotland was very much a part of it in 1999. The Victor Vector strip later in this issue is set just one year prior and there’s an appearance by the British RAF. So I can only assume Scotland had become independent and joined the European Republic, with England (at least) outside of this union. It feels somewhat prescient, doesn’t it?
“Some people believe that Sea Hunter is capable of operating underwater… and I’m one of them!”
Ring Commander Victor Vector
Moving on to the second strip and it’s the ace Trackdown written by Angus Allan and drawn by John Cooper. Professor Deke Martin‘s Doomsday Device is thankfully mobile and the unnamed toy pilot Freddie Riley is taking it and the professor deep into the woods to buy time while his wing, led by Thundercloud, tries to dispatch Havoc Wing. By the end of the story two planes have been destroyed and another original comic character is out to track down the device. It was always a thrill when the comic created these characters for our other toys.
What stands out the most is the amount of ground action that occurs and the level of characterisation being slipped in, in just four pages. The military characters interact realistically, grounding the fantastical set up and giving the aerial action a real feeling of danger. Especially when we’ve seen so many shot down already. We also see Wing Commander Thundercloud break off and order his men to return to base and all we’re told is that his instincts have come into play. So for now his apparent abandonment of Freddie is a mystery. Colour me intrigued by this layered storytelling.
Back then, leader characters in our toy ranges and cartoons were somewhat clichéd, a caricature of what either side stood for. Compare the 80s cartoon Optimus Prime to the nuanced, troubled version from the movies and you’ll see the difference. Ring Raiders is off to a good start in this regard. Moving in to this issue’s complete story which focusses on a moment from Ring Commander Victor Vector‘s past, showcasing his strategising and leadership qualities in a unique way. He’s on holiday from the British Royal Air Force (in the comic he’s British it would seem) before his Raiders days, and Skull Squadron attack the French side of the recently completed Channel Tunnel in the year 1998.
In the real world the tunnel was completed in 1994 so it wasn’t a bad prediction and I remember the regular British tabloid attacks on its construction being headline news around the time of this comic. With no plane at hand Vector befriends a local deckchair salesman who leads him to one. Sort of. I laughed at this I’ll admit.. The comic isn’t short of well written humour.
This is great fun and involves Mako‘s Mig-29 ‘Flying Shark’ which (as I touched upon previously) was one of my top toys in the range because of its shark motif and the apparent ‘rumour’ it could be flown underwater. As you can see here it’s no rumour as he begins to drill down to flood the tunnel. Vector also believes it’s true after apparently shooting Mako down with a handheld rocket launcher, however it’s a fact the readers would be in on but the Raiders could never verify.
It’s written by Scott Goodall and expertly drawn by John Gillatt. It has a Flight of the Pheonix feel to it, with added sci-fi elements thrown in, that ghostly underwater sequence, great action, a topical subject for the time and a little bit of comic relief. I also love the ending when we find out the entire flying aircraft carrier makes a trip far into the future just to drop Vector off for his hols! It’s a shame we don’t get the chance for more development for him (or indeed, more development for everyone) due to the short lifespan of the comic and the ensemble nature of the cast, but I have enjoyed this softening of his character.
Obviously there’s still no content for the letters page because of deadlines in getting this issue to print, so instead stars of two of the issue’s strips introduce one page apiece. They outline the history of both sides of the conflict and request input from readers in all its various forms, for editor Barrie and editorial assistant Terry Magee to sort through.
It appears the Ring Raiders were plucked right out of raging battles (which fits in perfectly with ‘Cub’ Jones’ affection for the bomber crews in the next story) and there’s a little hint for readers of some of the additional abilities of their rings, something toy collectors were already aware of but it’s nice to see a certain one mentioned given how this issue ends. The little throwaway line of how Skull Squadron recruits had been “twisted by war’s cruelties” hints at possible future character plots too.
Cub is back in the war he was plucked from in Bomber Blues which makes a surprise return as an ongoing story after last issue’s apparent one-off. Following what was now clearly a prelude, Skull Leader Hubbub‘s Rebel Wing return to take their revenge on the crew who rescued Hero Wing, unaware they were grounded after their fantastical tales to their superiors. Nor is he aware they’re also in possession of a signal ring to summon Cub and his team.
I’m so happy to see this story continue. The premise is just too good to leave at one issue. Writer James Tomlinson‘s fondness for the subject matter and Don Wazejewski‘s art style are just perfect and there’s a true vintage war comic vibe going on here, even with the mixture of aircraft and electronic weaponry.
In the toy packs there could be a mix of prop planes and jets and I often thought how on earth did they fly in formation together? Well they don’t, instead each is used for a particular purpose. For example the prop craft often being brought in for low-flying raids on slow moving targets or navigating close to difficult terrain. This is what happens when someone who knows their stuff writes for kids. I mean, just look at this glorious action panel!
The comic certainly wasn’t shy in destroying the planes we were playing with either. Throughout this issue about half a dozen altogether are outright destroyed, giving an air of jeopardy to the stories. Instead of vast battles where no one actually gets shot down or injured as we’d see in our cartoons, here anything seemed to go.
Before the final strip we’ve an advert for the toys and a pin-up of Vector. The advert is very basic and appears to have been put together by the comic itself rather than Matchbox, but they’d get more creative in future issues, even incorporating new artwork by Sandy James. Speaking of Sandy that’s his work on the pin-up before the full-colour second chapter of his story, Freedom Fight.
As part two commences the fort’s soldiers are frozen in fear at the futuristic aircraft and the rebels, though just as confused, see their chance and charge the fort. What’s compelling here is finding out another rule to the overall story, and that’s how the Ring Raiders must never fire upon or harm anyone caught up in Skull Squadron’s plots, even if those people are firing upon them.
This leaves Commander Kirkov in a predicament. How can he push back the rebels without opening fire on them? He can’t take sides, he’s just trying to preserve history as it was originally written. Writer Tom Tully uses the unique features of the plane mentioned on the toy packet to great affect here and has Kirkov blast the ground with his laser cannon, setting it on fire and stopping the advance. It reminds me of some classic set pieces from Airwolf, which is perfectly fine by me. Sandy’s bold colouring is spot on here.
Once again the comic ends on a riveting few pages, finishing with Kirkov’s ‘Comet’ F-4 Phantom on fire and plummeting towards the very fort he’s trying to save. The final caption simply reads, ‘In A Fortnight’s Time: Flying on ring-power!’ Look back at that letters page preview and you should know why I was so excited to get my hands on the next issue back in October 1989. In fact, I can’t wait for it now!
I think I can say with confidence Ring Raiders had a very firm foundation to its universe, characters and stories even at this very early stage. Building on the basics from the premiere issue, Barrie and his team were wasting no time in exploring different characters, scenarios and the various kinds of aerial action they could depict. It honestly feels like its writers and artists were having a whale of a time with the subject matter. I know I am.
Don’t be late for #3’s departure, right here on the OiNK Blog on Thursday 14th October 2021.
With issue four the UK version of Jurassic Park was evolving. As mentioned last time the US comic was no longer going to finish after the adaptation, with further mini-series now being produced. In the UK, Dark Horse International decided to turn their four-issue, three-weekly mini-series into an ongoing monthly, not that any fanfare is made of this because the reader wouldn’t have been any the wiser it had originally been due to end this issue (and a few weeks ago). Indeed, the comics checklist last issue erroneously said #4 was the end.
This change produced the delay in the release of this issue as plans were made for the new format of the comic and acquiring more content for each issue. This begins with the first back up strip here, bringing Jurassic Park more in line with the company’s other comics such as Aliens. The front page recolours a panel from the strip inside (and I love the font they’ve used) instead of having a proper cover image. This final chapter of the adaptation is being split in two, so the original cover was being kept in reserve for the following month.
The sequence in the tree with Tim trapped in the Explorer has been completely excised!
Check out this month’s comics checklist and you might get an idea of the make up of the company’s titles. The issue at hand begins with a competition for the excellent The Making of Jurassic Park. I actually bought this book at the time and it was a heavy tome, full of details on the making of the film and stands up today as one of the very best of its kind for any movie. You’ll also see an advert for Manga Mania, which fed off the new craze to hit these shores. Ultimately it’d also be a very important title for Jurassic Park fans. But that’s a story for another time.
Our freshly chopped final chapter is still a lengthy 16 pages so regular readers wouldn’t have felt short changed, at least with the page count. Unfortunately, the actual strip itself is another thing. Yes, this is the first time in the comic’s young life when I’ve been left disappointed.
Last month the Tyrannosaurus rex attack was brilliantly handled with plenty of building tension and atmosphere so I was looking forward to seeing how the final act would begin. The opening is great, with Mrs Rex towering above Dr. Alan Grant and Lex, both trying to keep completely still.
It’s all going so well until those final couple of panels. The sequence in the tree with Tim trapped in the Explorer has been completely excised! So it plummets to the ground instead and then he’s just unbelievably pulled out and off they go. Alan even has a map at hand to make their trip back to the Visitor’s Centre quicker, which is a rather cheeky shortcut. In previous issues scenes had been moved about, moments edited, others added to, all in order to properly adapt the film to the comic page and I’ve been really positive about it. But all throughout this issue huge swathes of story are just missing or reduced to a shadow of their former selves.
Case in point is the fatal encounter between Denis Nedry and the Dilophosaurus. The movie scene included plenty of misdirection and humour, putting the audience at ease before the shock, and that wouldn’t have been easy to translate here but they could have tried. Instead this very famous scene only gets two pages. It’s a very basic sequence now; the dinosaur may as well be a lion. Denis gets attacked as soon as he steps out of the vehicle, he jumps back in and we actually see the Dilophosaurus jump in after him (ruining the final moments of the original) and… well, that’s it.
This truncating happens to basically every major moment, whether it’s the nighttime meeting with the Brachiosaurs, rescuing Dr. Ian Malcolm after the T-rex attack, even the electric fence scene (as you’ll see below) and Robert Muldoon‘s stalking of a Velociraptor. Each are reduced to fit on a page or two and basically follow a set pattern of only showing the first and last moments of the scene and erasing everything else, including almost all the humour.
“Think they’ll have that on the tour?”
Dr. Ian Malcolm
Right back at the beginning of this adaptation I stated how I didn’t usually like comic versions of films and this was the reason why. But up to this point Jurassic Park had been the exception to the rule, with a proper restructuring of the film to suit the format and it was working a treat as a comic in its own right. Maybe if they’d had five chapters instead of four (in the original US comic) it would’ve worked out differently, but then again maybe the pacing could’ve been plotted out better by writer Walter Simonson and story editor Jim Salicrup. Yes, having all the dino action in the final chapter would, in theory, make for a big climax but there’s just too much of it to fit in.
The result is a clichéd comics adaptation where it feels more like a way for people to reminisce about the movie they saw in the cinema months previous, rather than working as a good comic book. If I sound overly critical it’s only because the team had been doing such an amazing job so far, even adding in extra dialogue from either the original novel or earlier drafts of the script. So it’s more disappointment than simple negativity.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still things to enjoy here. It’s all on a lovely high quality gloss paper stock this month, some of the best lines from the film are still intact and the art in the first eight or so pages is top notch. However, in the second half even legendary artists Gil Kane‘s pencils and George Perez‘s inks start to feel a little rushed and Tom Smith‘s colours feel unfinished and flat, leading me to believe they were working very close to the deadline of getting the original US series out in time for the movie.
The chapter is cut off with a superb cliffhanger though. The view of a Velociraptor‘s feet as it chases Dr. Ellie Sattler is just as unnerving as it was in the film. It’s a shame then the terrifying Velociraptors, when viewed in full, are reduced to looking like miniature T-rexes. Below is this final scene with its positives and negatives, alongside that fence scene with the dramatic resuscitation of Tim also taken out.
I also noticed Ray didn’t volunteer to go to the maintenance shed as he did in the original story, where he met his grisly end. Instead Muldoon and Ellie head off while Ray looks on silently. This means he’s still alive, a big departure from the film. It’ll be interesting to see how that effects the rest of the story next month.
For now, the sun sets on the adaptation as we move on to something else entirely
With 16 pages to the main strip I assume there’ll be roughly 12 or 13 next month unless the final chapter was given a few more pages in the original American Topps Comics publication. Either way there’s a lot of the film left to cover in half a chapter. The kids and Alan are still out in the park which means their return, the kitchen scenes, the chaos of the Velociraptors in the Visitor’s Centre and the climax are all to come.
I’ll still hold out hope things can be turned around because so far it feels like spending 90 minutes being completely engrossed in a film only for its ending to let you down. Which of course is not what happened with Jurassic Park! For now, the sun sets on the adaptation as we move on to something else entirely.
In the early days of Marvel UK‘s Transformers its back up strips were in some way related to the robotic theme, such as Machine Man or Iron Man. It wasn’t long before it instead became a way of bringing some of Marvel’s other US characters to these shores for the first time, but Jurassic Park kept its strips dinosaur-themed, much to the delight of teenage me. The second back up would appear in my first issue (#6) but here readers were introduced to Mark Shultz‘s Xenozoic Tales.
Later adapted into a cartoon TV series called ‘Cadillacs & Dinosaurs‘ it was an independent, alternative title Mark wrote and drew himself, running for 14 issues irregularly released between 1987 and 1996. Most of the strips were printed in black and white but Jurassic Park brought in artists to colour them exclusively for UK readers, this first one coloured by Ray Fehrenbach. This complete story was the first one written by Mark and what an introduction to something brand new this first page was.
Set in the 26th century, global warming has resulted in sea levels across the globe forcing humans to initially build underground. After 600 years they’ve reemerged to find their cities flooded, technology virtually non-existent and strangest of all the world is populated by dinosaurs once more. Anyone capable of mechanical work is seen as invaluable and this is where Jack Tenrec comes in, a car mechanic with a penchant for Cadillacs. Thanks to these skills he acts as an unofficial head of security and advisor to his tribe’s leaders and lives on an outcrop (formerly high hills) not far across the water from An Archipelago of Stone, the home of the tribe and in reality the remains of New York City.
I love that first page, cleverly written from the point of view of a Pterodactyl. In the story a neighbouring tribe’s ambassador, Hannah Dundee arrives at the City in the Sea and a team of poachers who had previously stolen from her Wassoon Tribe want her dead before they’re found out. It’s up to Jack and his men to stop them. All the way through this strip, knowing he’s about to get in way over his head, Tenrec keeps telling his men to send someone called Hermes to help. Then, just as it seems he’s doomed a surprise arrival bursts in. That’s Hermes!
Well I certainly didn’t expect that. Hermes the Allosaurus disposes of the villain, munching on his head and throwing him out the window, before Tenrec thanks him, revealing who this is. That doesn’t mean he’s a pet of course and the usually cool and collected Jack knows it.
It’s brilliant stuff. Original, fun and surprising, introducing the main protagonists, the unique setting and the cast of regular and semi-regular guest characters, all in 12 pages while maintaining an interesting story and racking up tension is rather a phenomenal feat. No wonder Xenozoic Tales is so highly regarded even to this day. It may at first seem like a strange choice for Jurassic Park’s back up but it works perfectly and as a teen I remember being engrossed with the slowly developing back story that would become more apparent in later issues. (Sadly, Hermes never reappeared.)
In between the two strips is this month’s look into the making of the movie, covering the famous disaster that hit Hawaii and the relief efforts the producers helped coordinate, plus the building of sets and the end of principal photography. At the very end of the feature is the teeny tiny box with the date of the next issue including a little tease that things were afoot for the future of the comic.
Thankfully they didn’t say “great news for all readers” or we’d have got the wrong idea. With these couple of pages, a long main strip and a back up it really does feel more like the kinds of UK comics we were accustomed to at the time. I may have enjoyed the extras more than the adaptation this month but I know from memory that what’s to come from Jurassic Park made this one of my very favourite comics growing up. So stay tuned for some terrific stuff from Isla Nublar, as well as from the far future and soon the distant past too!
The fifth issue and the conclusion of the movie storyline will be stomping its way on to the blog in one month on Tuesday 26th October2021.
This issue of OiNK contains the conclusion to the first Street-Hogs story, the spoof adventure strip which began right back in #1 (with a prelude in the preview issue) and they’ve taken over. Not only is their strip three pages long inside but we also get this gorgeous wraparound cover poster by their incredible illustrator, J.T. Dogg and the general theme of the issue is biking. There’s even a free motorbike model. Sort of.
Things kick off brilliantly with a parody of a very famous children’s character in Nobby Gets a New Set of Wheels, credited to Ena Blighty, a riff on Enid Blyton who would continue to pop up in comedy takes of other books. Written and drawn by co-editor Patrick Gallagher it looks like a traditional children’s picture-panel comic story and his art style suits it perfectly. The real Noddy may be pushing on a bit now but I doubt he’s grown up quite like this version.
Motorbikes are all over the first few pages. Uncle Pigg runs over Mary Lighthouse who was out in the middle of the street with placards campaigning for road safetly, after which our esteemed editor reminds the viewers to never “stand in the middle of the road waving your arms about!”. Zootown, the Golden Trough Awards, even the Plops and a new superhero Hedgehog Boy (his first and last appearance because hedgehogs, roads and motorbikes do not mix) all hit the mark with both the theme and the funny bone.
One of the regulars getting in on the action is someone I haven’t introduced yet. Created by David Haldane he was a big hit with readers. In fact he was a big hit with everything, from skyscrapers to airships to whole armies. Basically, take the concept of Godzilla but change him into a friendly but ginormous hippopotamus and you have Hugo the Hungry Hippo.
No relation to the creatures in Milton Bradley/Hasbro’s tabletop game, Hugo was a pacifist and would only accidentally terrorise humans along the way. While the strip was basically the same set up every issue he was a fan favourite, going on to appear in 33 editions of OiNK altogether. It’s funny how our memories work sometimes, isn’t it? I was sure I remembered reading Hugo right to the end of the run but he actually disappeared not long into the comic’s second year, only reappearing randomly a few more times after that.
The main event is up next, the three-page finale to TheStreet-Hogs which takes over the middle of the comic. It might be initially disappointing to see this two-colour page below. It is beautifully grey-scaled though, something OiNK could do on its glossy paper that other IPC comics couldn’t on their newsprint. But anyway, this is only page one and the others are presented in their the usual full-colour gorgeousness and bring the tale to a suitably crazy end.
This episode really does pack it all in. There’s even a cliffhanger for turning over the page. Between the over-the-top sound effects right out of the silly 60s Batman, to the clichéd evil lair being an underground apple sauce factory, to the final battle coming down to a faulty wig. There’s a piece of comedic genius in every panel thanks to the incredible writing talents of Mark Rodgers and the way J.T. Dogg brings it all to the page.
That next adventure alluded to in the final panel, Day of the Triffics isn’t coming as soon as readers may have hoped, we won’t see it until around this time next year. It’ll be worth the wait though and in the meantime from #15 there’ll be a brand new adventure from another much-loved porky personality, Ham Dare: Pig of the Future for all those Dogg fans!
Attach handlebar/light attachment (N) to discombobulator attachment (O) at attachment attachment point (M) attach the attachment with anything you like, as long as it doesn’t smell.
Uncle Pigg’s Road-Hogg instructions
From Dogg’s Hogs to the Road-Hogg, it can’t have escaped fans’ attentions that two of the superb bikes with all of their exaggerated abilities were destroyed in the strip above. Unceremoniously dragged off at the end, later in the issue came the chance for readers to build one of their own. Advertised on the cover as “a free cut-out motorbike”, in typical OiNK fashion even this had a punchline as you’ll see if you take a look at the page below. All you need to do is follow the instructions.
The person responsible for this fiendish extra was Daz, aka Dave Skillin who had already contributed some great spoof children’s stories in these early issues, such as The Wonderful Adventure of Billy Batt and his Magic Hat which I featured in #1‘s review. Brilliantly, just last year a pig pal (probably in the grip of lockdown craziness) decided to try and actually build it! Here’s what Sue M. Hall said about attempting this seemingly impossible task:
“I have spent recent weeks making the cardboard cut out motorbike, ‘Uncle Pigg’s Road Hogg’. Like Mount Everest, because it’s there. However, it was drawn with parts that did not actually fit together. You had to use your imagination, and make additional parts. I challenged myself to use as many of the parts in the drawing as I could. I also added a V- twin engine where the panels labelled Oink! were. I had to shrink the Oink lettering so as not to obscure the engine, or the pattern on the fuel tank.”
Sue shared this on the Oink! Comic Facebook group and has kindly given me permission to show it to you all here. I think you’ll agree this is a fantastic piece of model building, especially given the fact it was never actually meant to be built! As for Daz himself, here is a recent self-portrait he created of himself, supplied by Patrick.
Also in this issue you’ll find Scruff of the Track which was drawn by the late and very, very great Andy Roper. You can check it out in all its glory on the obituary post for Andy posted earlier this year. Both The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile and Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins have strong anti-bullying messages delivered with plenty of laughs, Burp’s attempts to befriend us humans once again go awry after his window cleaning (via his gigantic tongue) doesn’t account for one small detail, then Billy’s Brain partakes in the Highland Games and some gentle mocking.
Hadrian Vile written by Mark Rodgers, drawn by Ian Jackson Horace Watkins by Tony Husband Burp by Jeremy Banx Billy’s Brain by David Haldane
None of these four highlights may involve the subject but it was never a hard and fast rule, more of a suggestion. I’m sure behind the scenes there would’ve been back and forth between the editors and the contributors to make sure enough of the contents matched the overall theme, although this could vary from issue-to-issue so we never knew what to expect.
Two weeks ago we were treated to not only one of the best Mr. Big Nose instalments from Jeremy Banx, but also Mrs Warsaw-Pact who was sick and tired of her son making a fuss when it was time for school, so she had him put down and stuffed. Really. Well, I’m very happy to say another unique one-off can be found here, this time called Ian Nasalcavity (where does he get these names?) Visits his Grandparents. The title alone leads us to believe we’re in for another surreal treat and I was certainly not to be disappointed.
From stuffing a child so he’d behave in school to decapitating someone by tying their tie and leaving his body to wander aimlessly in the streets, I think it’s safe to say none of our other humour comics were producing anything remotely similar to these. What I love the most is his family’s complete lack of worry at what they’ve done; they just either stick his head back on or push him out the door, shirking all responsibility, forever leaving poor Ian to live his life without a head rather than own up.
The Hallowe’en issue of OiNK (which will be reviewed in four weeks from the time of writing) will contain more of these Banx gems so watch our for them. While I can only show a few selected highlights I think it’s a safe bet at least one of them will be included.
I often wondered what on Earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking photos
We’ve made our way to the end of another issue and on page 31 is the first full-page GBH Catalogue to feature in the comic. The dodgy mail order company had a hand in every pie and future issues would see them promote everything from book clubs to holidays. All of these contained products which were atrociously poor quality and sold for vastly over inflated prices. This BMX catalogue is certainly no exception.
I often wondered what on earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking the pictures for their photo stories, but what about this one? The poor fella on the bike is Patrick’s younger brother, Mike Gallagher. Patrick kindly sent me another photo of Mike to try to make up for the one above. He said it was of him at home, but actually Mike is on stage in a production of The Playboy of the Western World at The Wilmslow Green Room in Cheshire. I wonder if the GBH Catalogue is on his resume?
So that’s us, another issue of OiNK comes to a close and gets placed back onto the shelf. The next issue is the Movies Special and you’ll find the review right here on the OiNK Blog on Monday 4th October 2021. But to finish off here’s one final little strip from this issue with a name that’s a play on words on my favourite novel of all time and some of my own very favourite movies and television shows. Until next time, enjoy Ian Jackson‘s War of the Worms.
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