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Aliens, Christmas, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #7: MAYBE WE CAN BUiLD A FiRE, SiNG A COUPLE OF SONGS

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Of all the comics I’d expect to give us a Christmassy cover Aliens wouldn’t even have crossed my mind, yet here we are with an alien and their offspring getting into the icy festive feels. Chris Halls’ incredible artwork is so very 90s and, along with that funny caption it brings an eerie, gothic horror vibe to the season. Christmas is a perfect time for some scary stories and this tongue-in-cheek cover sums that up perfectly.

The editorial page has a Predator in the background, such is the importance of that franchise in the comic and I see Hive has only six pages this time around (the Predator back-up has 14). There’s an interesting tidbit about John Bolton’s images that I assumed were US covers and news of the next Dark Horse International release coming in the new year. Hmm, that one sounds good… Anyway, on to the rest of Aliens #7.

We kick off with Newt’s Tale: Part Six, the credits for it and all of this issue’s contents you can see in the image above. This chapter takes us from the room where the aliens come through the ceiling, up to the point when Ripley and Newt make a run for the elevator after torching the alien nest right in front of the queen.

There are some obvious differences here between the original film and the Special Edition this is based on, as well as moments that were still on the cutting room floor after the release of the longer version. These mainly involve company man Carter Burke. In the finished film (both versions) we see him escape the room and lock everyone in behind him, then he turns around and an alien snaps its inner mouth at him. Clearly, he died. But this wasn’t originally the case.

Here, he simply backs out of the room and we see a pair of aliens standing behind him and that’s it. I assumed we just weren’t going to see his death but several pages later (this chapter runs to 18) we see him alive in the nest and impregnated. Ripley can’t help him, it’s too late, but she gives him a grenade to end his suffering which he’s too cowardly to use.

Apparently this was filmed but cut out by James Cameron because he realised Burke should still have a facehugger attached to him at this point, so his exit from the previous scene was reedited. (While they didn’t reshoot a death scene, the shot of the alien made it clear.) I hadn’t known about this before. Moments like this and parts of the earliest chapters are what I expected from this story instead of what has been more or less a straight adaptation.

Newt also sees her mum when she awakens in the nest and then everything suddenly speeds up. Yes, things will be changed when adapting stories for different mediums; what works on screen may not necessarily work on the page. But still, while I don’t personally know how they could’ve conveyed the stillness and terror of the scene above from the movie, having it reduced to just over a page feels underwhelming.

Maybe even more so because I just watched the film three days ago. As I’ve said described before, the first time I saw Aliens was on my birthday back when I was a teen, watching it with my mum. In memory of my mum and I really enjoying the movie together I decided to watch it again on the night of my 47th birthday. I think it’ll be a birthday/Christmas tradition from now on. So, everything is fresh in my head as I’ve read this issue. Talking about going back in time, what did the news pages of Christmas 1993 have for us?

That Aliens comic story sounds terrible but then again I’m saying that with the hindsight of the subsequent movies. But ‘Xeno-zip’? And another red species more deadly than the ones on film? I don’t know if I’d have enjoyed it. Below that I have to correct the myth of the chest burster scene in the first film. Yes, director Ridley Scott used a lot more blood than he’d told the actors to expect, but that’s it.

Having now finally watched the first two films I have to say the pages involving the Predators definitely hit differently

Of course they knew what was going to happen. It was in the script. John Hurt had his head popping up through a hole in the table with a fake torso. There were cables and puppeteers everywhere. The first few seconds of the reaction is in response to the amount of fake blood, but then cut was called and the rest of the scene then acted out as normal. I hate these myths of directors “fooling” actors when in reality they’re just good actors!

As for the competition, given the terms and conditions mention “doctored photographs” I was surprised to find out the statement was in fact true! What is also true is Predator: Cold War is still my favourite strip in the comic seven months in. How’s that for a tenuous link, eh? Having now finally watched the first two films I have to say the pages involving the Predators definitely hit differently.

Quite a lot happens in the larger background of Mark Verheiden’s story this time too. The US president wants the mission terminated because a Moscow politician is on the way, so the Americans can’t be found there. General Phillips receives the message to clear all personnel out and “stop hostilities with the aliens” so that they leave before the Soviets get a hold of their weaponry. The audacity of the Americans to think they’re in control of the Predator situation is typical in this and the Alien franchises.

The Russian government knows exactly what’s going on and are escorting our Sheriff friend from previous issues to the site so he can extract his own friend, Detective Schaefer. Speaking of him, he and Lt. Ligachev find an unusually warm area where the ice is melting and discover the Predators’ ship. Striping off so they can bare some flesh while they fight (it was the 90s), they sneak on board.

You can see it goes well. Finding parts of Ligachev’s outpost used as patchwork repairs on the ship, Schaefer theorises they must’ve crashed; all of those people lost their lives so that the aliens could scavenge for parts. Ligachev ain’t happy. They fight valiantly and Schaefer is able to stab the alien that attacks them, but the screams summon its friends!

I’ve loved this story so far. What started out as a bit clichéd on the US side of things and interesting on the Soviet side has developed into a brilliant tale, with good characterisation and a genuine building of tension. Now, with the American government worried that Schaefer destroying the ship on Russian land and the Soviets knowing an American has stopped them from using its weaponry could start World War III, all the plot points are converging on what should be an engaging climax.

According to the Comics Checklist further below the next issue will contain the final chapter, so even this slightly awkward cliffhanger with Ligachev mid-sentence can’t ruin the anticipation. To be fair, this was probably the best place to leave it for a month. I actually think I’ll go back and read the whole story again just before settling down to next month’s issue, something I most likely won’t do for the two Aliens stories.

The Alien³ videogame gets a two-page review this month and it’s basically the same as you’d expect from all other licenced games back then. The vast majority were all platformers or driving games (sometimes a mix of both) until Goldeneye came along. Alien³ throws loads of weaponry and aliens at the player, two things the movie didn’t have. But hey, when did silly things like the actual movie get in the way of a movie videogame licence all those years ago? Since then, the first-person Alien: Isolation has shown us that you only need one alien for a great game, and to scare the bejesus out of me… I mean, the player!

(I still can’t play it on my Switch for more than an hour at a time!)

The penultimate part of Jerry Prosser’s Hive is only six pages and they’ve escaped the nest and made it back to the dropship to await rescue. Their creepy android loses an arm and Julian continues the trend of humans never learning in an Alien story when she fires upon one at close range, badly burning her face in the process with its acid blood. That’s pretty much it. While they wait for the aliens to come a-knockin’ Dr. Mayakovsky makes a random reference to Ancient Rome being the key to escape before the story abruptly stops. Just as with Jurassic Park, each story is of varying lengths each issue but this feels ridiculously short.

Even shorter, at two pages, but with much more going on in a much more enjoyable story, is the next part of the Aliens Vs Predator II strip. Our protagonist is still learning from the Predators (I wish I’d read the previous story to understand who she is), most notably that a rebuke is painful and you don’t try to save everyone. Seeing the alien Queen led off and her troops hanging back is foreboding and I find myself becoming more intrigued with each monthly snippet.

It’s painfully slow though. It’s like reading one of those old three-panels-a-day newspaper adventure strips, only with much bigger gaps. However, it’s good! Actually, it probably benefits from being told this way as I find myself clamouring for each tiny little morsel. Would it be as captivating if I’d simply read it all at once? I doubt it. It’s definitely won me over.

Here’s the Comics Checklist I mentioned above and as you can see Newt’s Tale is also coming to a close, so the rest of the movie is going to fly by just as quickly as this month’s chapter. However, it’s another comic appearing here for the first time that catches my eye. It’s completely right when it describes Bram Stoker’s Dracula as “stunning” and it’s a regular watch every Hallowe’en for me. Hmm… that gives me an idea…

That’s a lie, because if I was only getting the idea now to do a real time read through of DHI’s Dracula comic I’d need to have started collecting it months ago. You see, I actually had the idea last year but by the time I collected all ten issues it was too late to start the read through in 2024. So watch out for a special introduction to Bram Stoker’s Dracula on the blog on Thursday 16th January 2025, with the premiere issue just three days later! Happy New Year, eh?

I’ll finish with the only other mention of the festive season in the whole issue, in a response to a funny reader on the Bug Hunt letters page, below. Well I hope the images from this comic (especially that creepy cover) don’t stop you from drifting into a deep sleep tonight before Santa Claus visits your area. The first issue for 2025 will be here on Tuesday 21st January and we’ve a full year’s worth of xenomorph terror to look forward to.

iSSUE SiX < > iSSUE EiGHT

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CHRiSTMAS 2024

Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #6: iNFLATED LAUGHS

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It’s been a very funny ride to say the least but here we are already at the final monthly issue of Marvel UK’s (under their Epic imprint) The Sleeze Brothers. Well, I say monthly but back in 1989 it had been two since the previous issue. I’m still not sure why there was such a delay but the Mighty Marvel Checklists in their other titles don’t lie and I’ve used them to determine the release dates. But enough of that, let’s see what they have in store for us.

D.O.R.I.S., the brothers’ very 80s computer receptionist introduces the story by giving us a little detail into The Rim Wars. Quite. Basically, it’s that old chestnut of war being very profitable, even when they’re on the edge of the known galaxy. Anybody can buy shares in any side of any part of the conflict, so the rich get twitchy when there’s talk of a ceasefire. The background story of the comic just got a helluva lot bigger in scope, didn’t it?

El’ Ape really doesn’t like dying aliens turning up unannounced (see also #3). Quarkvark’s story is actually rather good and if you take away the silly names and the fact it’s in this particular comic, it wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of Doctor Who. In fact, recent fantastic episode Boom had a similar background to its conflict. Anyway, this all reads brilliantly, despite El’ Ape’s protestations, and I could imagine the elderly, wise voice behind it all.

Then we turn the page to see what The Messiah had transferred his all-important message into. Where could this war-ending knowledge be found?

Well that brought us back down to Earth with a thud, didn’t it? This is The Sleeze Brothers after all, a comic created by John Carnell and Andy Lanning and written by John, so of course it was all a long set up for a daft gag! The fate of the universe rests on a boiled egg in a lunch box, but it still takes the alien to offer his solid gold medallion for El’ Ape to take any interest, and as he dies the detectives fail to notice they’re being watched from afar.

Cue some brilliant slapstick. Outside, with the egg secured underneath his hat, El’ Ape dodges a heat seeking bazooka shell when he notices his shoelace is undone and bends over to tie it. The resultant explosion sends a nearby lunch wagon skyrocketing into the air, which I’ve made sure to mention for a reason that’ll soon become clear. Taking off in their flying VW Beetle we get a scene which for me is the kind of humour we’d get from a Blues Brothers movie, which is rather apt.

I admit I laughed out loud at that reveal.

An action scene takes place over the next few pages with an ending that shocked even me, but in the best possible (not to mention funniest) way imaginable. The cars behind them start opening fire, all of them aiming for El’ Ape’s head. The fact they’re able to get away is more luck then anything, like when Deadbeat swerves around a building at the exact moment his brother opens fire, the wayward shot hitting a piece of rope holding a giant slab of steel over a building site, which then sways wildly and smashes right into one of their pursuers.

But the others have bigger weapons and soon a missile takes out the brothers’ rear engine and they find themselves careening towards a building called the Mondo Mart. With a huge ‘X’ on the large window and words like ‘Spank’ and ‘Bizarre’ lit up over the building you could guess what kind of place this is. But whatever your guess is it’ll fall short of what awaits the brothers as they crash through said window!

Indeed! See what I mean? And did you spot the guy from #1 amongst the chaos? On the top-left level regular readers should recognise him and his unique kink as the first person we ever saw the Sleeze Brothers investigate. The closer you look at this page the less is left to the imagination. And to think this was advertised in the pages of Marvel’s toy comics! The first issue was an eye-opener for me back then, I wonder what my 12-year-old eyes would’ve thought of this?

As their car descends they soon find themselves having to dodge the mass of partying people (and other beings), until El’ Ape screams, ‘Look out! Inflatey-Friends dead ahead!” Now… I know what you’re thinking. Inflatey-Friends? Yep. And as one of the brothers’ pursuers gains on them, they get to find out first hand what exactly an ‘Inflatey-Friend’ is…

Anyone else remembering Total Recall right about now? I thought this had to be a spoof reference to that scene in the Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, after all this comic has been so good at pastiching classic and contemporary pop culture. But nope, Total Recall wasn’t released until the following year, so this was actually an original creation from the minds of John and Andy.

I can’t help but wonder about the reactions of inker Stephen Baskerville, letterer Helen Stone and colourist Steve White when these pages landed at their desks. Or indeed editor Dan Abnett and what the script he read would’ve described. Then again, one look at this team and I think it’s safe to say they were a like-minded bunch, each as crazy as the next.

El’ Ape and Deadbeat will return, you can count on that

Eventually crashing into the ground outside, El’ Ape is flipped out of the car and lands in a heap, his body contorted into all sorts of weird angles. Deadbeat runs to his brother in panic! When we begin the page below we think we’re witnessing a rare tender moment between siblings, but one panel later we realise we should’ve known better. Oh, and that lunch wagon I made sure to mention earlier, remember that?

I roared as I read that already-classic Sleeze Brothers line, “Oldest trick in the book”. I was so happy they managed to squeeze that in one more time. Another gag paying off here is El’ Ape’s shoelaces coming undone, as he trips and drops the egg, smashing it all over the ground. But one rummage around the debris of the lunch wagon later and they’ve got a carton of them.

They pass one off as the egg containing the ability to end galaxy-spanning wars and make their escape, golden medallion safely pocketed. The egg is then presented to a mass crowd in an image that received an additional credit on the editorial page which read, “Emergency relief Cast of Thousands supplied by Anthony Williams”. Anthony (Super Naturals, The Real Ghostbusters, Sinister Dexter) doesn’t just provide a crowd, he truly has created a cast! Who can you spot?

Personally, I see an Alien (from the Alien film franchise), a Dalek, Judge Dredd, Slimer, Spock, possibly Batman and on the left John and Andy themselves! Although, my personal favourite moments after perusing this for long moments were discovering the back of Wile E. Coyote’s head and Zippy, George and Bungle from Rainbow! Go on, look closer – they’re there! Then, on the next page individual panels of the crowd contain no less than Looney Tunes’ Marvin the Martian and Gilbert the Alien, the snot-covered puppet from ITV’s Saturday morning show Get Fresh.

Talk about blasts from the past! Out of all the comics on the blog that I thought would whisk me back to childhood I didn’t think it would be the one containing Inflatey-Friends! Anyway, the story ends here as the one chosen to relay the message starts to cluck like a chicken and the crowd turns to violence. It is a dystopian future after all.

There’s no mention of this being the final issue, but from that first appearance in the Mighty Marvel Checklist we knew it was always planned to end here and I for one am gutted. Not that this is the very end, but there are no more monthly appointments with the detectives to look forward to. There’s a one-off special called Some Like It Fresh which, in keeping with the real time nature of the blog, will be joining us here on Tuesday 30th June… 2026. After that there’ll be three more reviews containing new misadventure for the duo, which you can spot in the photo below.

I’ve loved every moment of this read through. As I said at the start I’d only read the first issue before and now I see what I missed out on. Damn my attention span as a kid and my wish to buy as many different comics as possible! I should’ve placed an order for this the moment I saw that “oldest trick in the book” gag repeated for the first time in #1. El’ Ape and Deadbeat will return to the blog, you can count on that!

iSSUE FiVE < > SOME LiKE iT FRESH

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Christmas, Comic Reviews, Transformers

TRANSFORMERS AT CHRiSTMAS: #7

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It doesn’t really jump off the cover that this is the first of Marvel UK’s Christmas issues of Transformers. Then again, the cover image isn’t even a cover image. It’s just a panel from the strip inside blown up to full size, something the comic did a few times in its first year. This is a shame because there are a small handful of gorgeous original covers among those first 26 issues.

Originally a 32-page fortnightly made up of colour and black-and-white pages with its contents spread sporadically through each issue, it’s a far cry from the weekly format it would become known for later. Launch editor Shiela Cranna adds a couple of captions to the cover and a Christmas message in the two-page editorial, which contained a mixture of Transformers news and random items they thought would appeal to readers.

I’m not sure about Shiela having “quite the fight to get the Christmas decorations up” with designer Theresa George, seeing as how it’s a random selection of clip art-like bits and bobs thrown together. As someone who originally came to the comic much later in the run and loved snowy logos, Christmas strips and festive features, it was a bit of a shock just how little of this children’s comic seemed to celebrate the season in 1984.

That’s not to say this isn’t a good issue. Let’s face it, bad issues of this comic could be counted on one hand. In this series I’ll be taking a yearly look at the Christmas editions of Transformers between 1984 and 1990 on their individual 40th anniversaries. I’ve read the whole series in real time on the blog’s Instagram (you can check it all out in a special blog post) but here I’ll have the chance to take a deeper dive into these particular issues. So after an editorial which includes a reader poem that won’t be worrying Stan Bush anytime soon, and a cringey reference to “boys’ toys” (the gift of hindsight), what strip action was to be had?

This is the big event of the issue, the introduction of the Dinobots

The main strip was still telling the origin story of the Transformers’ arrival on Earth, concluding in the next issue. The Last Stand: Part One was written by Jim Salicrup (editor on Spider-Man, Uncanny X-Men, Bram Stoker’s Dracula), pencilled by Frank Springer (Savage She-Hulk, Green Arrow, G.I. Joe), inked by Ian Akin and Brian Garvey (partnered on ROM, Iron Man, Firestorm) and lettered by John Workman (Jurassic Park, Incredible Hulk, Star Slammers), his work always recognisable with open balloons and captions along panel edges.

As you can see it’s in black and white, with only 5 of the 12 pages in the original colour provided by Nel Yomtov (every issue of the US Transformers, Amazing Spider-Man, Punisher Armory), with Bob Budiansky (Sleepwalker, Ghost Rider, Avengers) editing the story. Bob created many names of the characters and their abilities for Hasbro and would go on to write the comic for a few years.

In this chapter the Autobots find out Spike Witwicky has converted Earth fuel for the Decepticons and even the fact he was under duress doesn’t stop them from threatening him! They’re new to our planet and don’t trust us yet. Fear causes Spike to have a heart attack and during a Vietnam flashback we come to realise he’s poisoned the fuel he gave Megatron, which convinces the Autobots we’re on their side.

However, this is the big event of the issue, the introduction of the Dinobots! It’s a strange page to choose for colour given how it’s a flashback and in muted tones, but it was no less exciting for the young readers. Millions of years previous The Ark had detected more Transformer life and it relays how its surveillance drone had discovered Shockwave and created what it believed to be a disguise for five of the most powerful Autobots on board.

It’s a much better origin tale than the cartoon came up with and it’s even set in the Savage Land, a hidden prehistoric place in the Antarctic that featured prominently in X-Men comics and more recently in the Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness movie. After Spider-Man had guest starred in the previous issue the comic’s ties to the wider Marvel Universe were a surprise for me. They’re a fun addition.

Speaking of other Marvel comics, here’s an advert for the monthly Captain Britain and below that the big Christmas movie was… Caravan of Courage? I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of this Star Wars spin-off. This page interrupts the strip mid-flow. Much like the US comics these early editions break the strips up into several pieces with adverts and features seemingly randomly throw in here and there.

While in the American comic the adverts are more easily ignored (but no less irritating), having features to read in the middle of the stories results in the comic having a rather bitty feel. But one of those interruptions is the only real Christmas bonus so we’ll forgive it. While the readers’ drawings aren’t festive, Shiela decided to gather 14 of those sent in altogether as a special Christmas treat for those featured.

No ages are given but I think it’s safe to say the comic already had a wide audience, from the very young to at least the teen market if the high quality on display here is anything to go by. The ideas for original Transformers would even give some of the comic’s later attempts a run for their money.

From robotic aliens to a robotic man created here on Earth. Aaron Stack was the last in a line of futuristic robots, the difference being he was raised by his creator as if he was his own son. After his creator was killed in an accident Aaron went out into the world, both as a human and as a new kind of superhero, Machine Man. Unlike Superman with his glasses, Aaron was much more convincing as he disguised himself with a fake face, hands etc.

The character was originally created by Jack Kirby and this is the first page of the second chunk of Xanadu, written by Marv Wolfman (Tomb of Dracula, Spider-Woman, Batman) with art by Steve Ditko (Blue Beetle, Amazing Spider-Man, Secret City Saga) and is lettered by Ira Watanabe (Cyclops, Incredible Hulk, Sub-Mariner).

I really enjoyed Machine Man, even with Marvel UK’s cherry-picking of stories which meant we didn’t get to see his full character arc before the strip disappeared from the comic, replaced by the more contemporary Machine Man of 2020. Aaron was a great character. He felt fully formed, his wish to live a human life was endearing and he had a cracking sense of humour which often shone in the middle of spectacular fight scenes.

Thrown in midway through the strip, Robot Round-Up was the best extra feature from the first year of the comic. An always interesting look at where our technology was at the time and how they perceived it would develop, it’s fun to contrast the future according to the 80s with how things have turned out. Such a shame how writer Johnny Black comes across in that last story though. Unfortunately, sometimes these things happen when we read old 80s publications. Oh well, it’s a reminder of how much better and more enlightened we are today.

Also standing in stark contrast to today were Hasbro’s Transformers toy adverts. While later in the run they’d include actual photographs, originally fans only had illustrations to go on (albeit intricately drawn). Even in the 90s I remember Commodore 64 games being advertised in Commodore Format with nothing more than the box art to tempt us to buy them. So strange to look back on that now.

Thus ends our first Christmas with Transformers. As you can see it was a very different beast to what most people will remember. Next year’s will feel more familiar to you and not only that, there’ll also be the first of seven Transformers Annuals as well! It’s a long time to wait, I know, so don’t forget you can check out the entire Instagram real time read through of the series that took me over seven years to complete. You don’t need an account and there’s a guide on the blog so you can check out all 375(!) posts in whatever order you like.

THiS iSSUE’S PROMO < > YEAR TWO PROMOS

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CHRiSTMAS 2024

Comic Reviews, Transformers: Generation 2

TRANSFORMERS GENERATiON 2 #3: OLD SCHOOL NEW

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I was very happy to find the main strip in this third issue of Marvel US’s Transformers Generation 2 ended after only 16 pages. Not because I was glad that particular story was over or anything, rather because it meant there was another back up strip to enjoy. After hoping we’d see the same format as last time return, the issue is off to a great start for this fan of Marvel UK’s winning formula, which the US comic is now embracing.

The main story, as ever written by Simon Furman, is called Primal Fear and I needn’t have worried about its title being similar to ones from the previous generation. Although the ‘ancient evil’ storyline is still to be built upon, for now this involves a sector of the galaxy that preys on hidden fears and aggression buried deep within the subconscious of any visitors.

It kicks off with this first page that’s notable for its heavy use of wiring and hoses within the framework of the robots. It reminds me of the live-action Transformers and something certain dark corners of the internet complained were unnecessary and ugly, proving some fans really don’t know their history (much like story elements of the films they complained about which were actually inspired by the original comics or cartoon).

Manny Galan (Sonic the Hedgehog, The New Warriors, Street Sharks) has taken over as penciller on the main story with inks by Jim Amash (Archie & Friends, Deadpool, Night Thrasher) and Marie Severin (Kull the Conqueror, The Haunt of Fear, Alf). I’m not sure how I feel about it if I’m honest. At times it feels like some of the earlier UK art and I’m all for that, it has a real classic vibe to it. However, at other times it comes across like they’re struggling with how the Transformers move; they can come across stilted, as if drawn from how the action figures moved.

Hound in particular looks like he could decapitate himself with a good sneeze

But it’s those necks full of robotics that I can’t help but notice. I may have been a big fan of the realism brought to giant alien robots in the live-action films, but here the necks in particular can look ridiculously elongated. Below are two such examples. This doesn’t happen on every page, but when it does it’s like the artist is trying too hard. Upon occasion it’s just too extreme for me. Thank goodness for Richard Starkings’ and John Gaushell’s letters and Sarra Mossoff’s colours returning.

Hound in particular looks like he could decapitate himself with a good sneeze, or perhaps he’s starring in an 80s futuristic movie with a person dressed up in a robot suit, the excess of wires hiding the shape of the actor’s neck. I do, however, like the reflection of Jhiaxus on Prime’s mouth guard. So, what’s this about an ancient evil feeding off others’ primal instincts?

The Transformers were created by Primus to fight and destroy Unicron, which they successfully did in the final year of the original comic. But that in-built aggression is a natural element of their being and something Jhiaxus argues is their true nature, believing Prime and the Autobots’ wish for peace is sacrilegious and ultimately doomed to failure. It’s these deeply buried instincts that Prime has been more willing than normal to embrace over these first few issues.

Indeed, Prime goes very dark in some parts of this early fight and initially I didn’t like these scenes at all. I thought they were just following on from the previous issues and were another example of how his character was more hard-edged. A lot of this is very out of character indeed, but once Simon gets the chance to explain all about this sector of the galaxy (and what’s really happening to Prime) I breathed a sigh of relief, and it’s a great little story.

Optimus eventually gets through to Jhiaxus as only he can, by talking him down and trying to make him see reason. Every ounce of Prime wants to fight back as Jhiaxus continues trying to violently finish things. But we soon realise Jhiaxus is fighting back so desperately because in the heat of battle he gets an element of peace from his own devastating past. He doesn’t want to remember who he was… but he does, below.

Confusingly, the page above is read in columns, although by looking closely you can see the first panel crumbling away into the image of the screaming Decepticon leader. He was a sadistic killer, murdering for the sport, and his greatest fear is that his so-called ‘higher calling’ of galactic conquest in the name of his race is nothing more than his past self dressed up in a more respectable cloak.

As Prime states, they were all created to fight and kill. It’s a heavy moment that hadn’t really occurred to me until now. No wonder Prime’s been struggling to hold back those darker feelings, when the events of the previous two issues seemed to outdo everything they’d achieved over millions of years. Something is forcing them to regress into what they were eons ago; earlier selves they’d overcome to become something greater, even if they’re on opposing sides of the conflict. This is the Prime I remember!

Much like a twisted version of Peter Pan’s shadow, the creatures have attached themselves, but they weaken as the Transformers walk away. And walk away they must. They can’t fight these things, or each other. To do so would release more rage and simply bait these creatures further. It takes a much stronger character to walk away from a battle and the two leaders order their warriors to back away and leave, agreeing to a temporary truce until they next meet.

However, on the last page of the story Jhiaxus can’t help himself and decides to wipe out all life on the planet to prepare it for colonisation. If this will come back to bite him in the time we have with this comic I don’t know, we’ll have to wait and see. Jhiaxus’ anger at letting the Autobots live grows as he gives his orders. Is this anger being fed by the aliens? He’s made for an excellent baddie so far and we’ve only scraped the surface of his character. A truly excellent creation of Simon’s.

Old Evils is the back up strip and, speaking of great baddies, one of my absolute favourites is back. Firstly though, it carries on from the main strip as Jhiaxus returns to his ship, thankful there’s no sign of any Decepticons from the millennia-old war still alive to tarnish what he’s trying to do in the Decepticon name. Then, elsewhere in the galaxy we see an alien vessel attacked by a much larger ship commanded by none other than Bludgeon!

I’m sure this small strip is very much a prelude of what’s to come, much like the best black and white stories in the original UK comic’s later life; stories which added more depth and foreboding to the US strips, when we’d see elements of storylines long before American readers. The main point here is to bring Bludgeon and the Decepticons we all know so well back into the picture and send them off to our home planet!

I was wondering if Earth was going to get a look in since all of the stories so far have been set in deep space and it’s only a 12-issue run. Not that it was meant to be a 12-issue run of course… or was it? The first Transmissions page contains a surprise in the very first letter, in which reader Benson G. Yes says he’s aware of the current storyline ending with #12! Of course, he could just mean this particular story involving Jhiaxus rather than the comic itself, but it was still a surprise to read this as I’d assumed something had already slipped out that the comic was scheduled to end.

I was thrilled to read the confirmation that the two-strip format is going to remain, and even more thrilled that the stunning art of Derek Yaniger will continue to thrill me, even if it is only within the back ups. After this, the Marvel Bullpen Bulletin makes a brief mention of long-time Transformers writer Bob Budiansky who had moved over to run the company’s trading cards division, and that’s it for another issue.

I’m glad the main strip was more self-contained than the previous two. While it continued the overall story (particularly for Optimus Prime’s and Jhiaxus’ character arcs), the fact it also had a proper beginning, middle and end was like proper old-school Transformers. Three issues in and it feels like it’s just the beginning of true greatness. Transformers Generation 2 continues with #4 during the what-day-of-the-week-is-it-anyway period of the festive season, on Sunday 29th December 2024. Catch you then.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

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Aliens, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #6: HOW LONG ‘TiL iT BLOWS?

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After the rendered brilliance of last issue’s Chris Halls cover I assumed this still-brilliantly crafted front page image was one of the better American covers, but upon reading the editorial we find out it’s actually by another British artist, Pete Doherty (Judge Dredd, Millarworld, Shaolin Cowboy). The cover of Aliens #6 from Dark Horse International shows one alien being attacked by many others in Hive, which we’ll return to later in the review.

First up is part five of Mike Richardson’s movie adaptation… sorry, I mean ‘Newt’s Tale‘. Again, for this allegedly retelling the movie through the eyes of the young survivor of LV-426 she doesn’t appear at all over the first seven pages, which include another moment from the Special Edition a lot of readers may not have seen at the time. Unfortunately, the tense scene involving the ever decreasing ammo counters of the remote sentries is cut down to this one page.

The ammo counters are quickly referenced later but it doesn’t exactly convey the same amount of excitement as the restored scene in the film. We never saw the actual “shooting gallery” on screen either and it was much more tense that way. Elsewhere there’s a passing comment from Bishop that the aliens also captured the livestock to impregnate, foreshadowing Alien³ somewhat and there’s also one of the best delivered lines in the whole movie.

When Bishop tells them that one of the cooling tanks in the nuclear reactor has been damaged and it’s gone into a state of emergency venting, just when everything else already seemed so bleak and hopeless, Hicks’ line of “How long ’til it blows?” was delivered in such an understated, deflated way by actor Michael Biehn it made us laugh! It had the perfect tone of, “Of course it is.” A comic obviously can’t convey the delivery, but reading the line still made me chuckle.

The big moment here is one that finally involves Newt and it’s the scene in which she and Ripley secure themselves inside the medical facility to rest, unaware (as were the audience) that Burke had slipped in and let a facehugger loose. As this begins, penciller Jim Somerville and inker Brian Garvey produce this eerie, unnerving panel of the two characters asleep while Newt’s decapitated doll’s head seemingly looks on in terror, its mouth covered by Ellen.

As all hell breaks loose in what was a truly terrifying scene in the film, Gregory Wright’s colours come into their own as he gives certain panels a red tone, mimicking the alarm that was going off at the time without the need of large SFX lettering taking up necessary space. However, this double-page spread perfectly conveys a movie adaptation; as a comic in its own right it’s pretty damned good, but for anyone who’d already seen the film it feels rushed and a bit by-the-numbers.

This is simply because a comic adaptation can never produce the same feelings and reactions as a movie, it can never work to the same beats. The best adaptations are those that change the movie to suit the format, and unfortunately this one tries to stay too close to the source material, so overall it’s a bit lacking. This isn’t the fault of the team behind it, they were in a losing situation before it began, and the art is great.

Time for some contemporary Aliens news, pages I always look forward to every month. Well okay, only one out of the four pieces of news directly involves Aliens this month but it’s none-the-less an interesting look back in time to November 1992. Of note is writer Dave Hughes’ description of Thelma and Louise as a “role-reversal” road movie. Really? I also didn’t know it had a director’s cut. Then in the charts Warner Bros were having a great time of it but I pity the poor sods investing in the first three episodes of the weekly V series. I can sympathise. I was one of them. Not a patch on the two previous mini-series.

In the competition the question could only have been answered by those who had seen the film, even though surely those who hadn’t would want to enter, but at least it’s honest about knowing its readers would be lying about their age. Finally, that Spider-Man film sounds like the worst idea ever and at the same time like the most 90s comic movie ever.

On to my favourite strip, Mark Verheiden’s Cold War, our Predator back up and I’ve finally watched the first two movies! Having done so brings a new level of enjoyment to this, my memories of them and my imagination adding to the already gruesome art by penciller Ron Randall, inker Steve Mitchell, colourists Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe, and letterer Clem Robins. The Predators are no longer stationery images on a page anymore, suddenly the still images here are accurately conveying some dynamic movements and thrills.

This is our sequel of sorts to both films and the Americans blow their way out of their entrapment from last month. A stand off occurs between them and the Soviets until Ligachev grabs Schaefer and makes a run for it, knowing both sides don’t stand a chance against the aliens, and even if they could neither side should get hold of those weapons. In the end they’re soon recaptured when the Americans’ expensive winter clothing and weaponry give out in the extreme cold.

Schaefer is in his own clothes (he’s police, not military) and soon the two leads find a ravine they agree they’d have chosen if they were the aliens, with Yashin and his men in hot pursuit and shooting to kill. At one point Schaefer puts his life on the line to shout a warning to them about the aliens but they don’t listen and one-by-one they’re taken apart – quite literally – by one lone Predator standing guard at the entrance to the ravine. 

At the time Predator: Cold War may have been seen as a bit of a role reversal between the two super powers

After the build up over the past few months this issue’s chapter is great! I’m not complaining about the story building slowly, I’ve really enjoyed it in fact, and this chapter works so well thanks to everything that came before. It’s a superb pay off for the human tension, not to mention the mystery behind these creatures for this rookie reader. Schaefer’s lone wolf attitude and clichéd 80s action heroism plays off perfectly against Ligachev’s humanity, which I’m guessing at the time may have been seen as a bit of a role reversal between the two super powers.

In the end, Schaefer’s heroics almost see him die at the hands of the Predator and it’s only Ligachev emptying dozens of bullets into it at close range that saves him. Even if I hadn’t seen those movies recently this strip does a superb job of conveying the terrors they’re up against. The odds couldn’t be more stacked against them in the icy wilderness and I can’t wait for the next chapter!

The widescreen release of Alien is up for review this issue and it’s by Jim Campbell again, who is thankfully a lot more positive than he was about the Aliens Special Edition. I remember this exciting time when favourite films of mine would get director’s cuts and widescreen releases, the latter of which really appealed to me. While we didn’t have a widescreen TV for several more years, I could easily ignore the black bars and enjoy a whole new cinematic experience for the likes of Jaws and the James Bond series.

Jaws was like a whole new film than the one on the 4:3 VHS I’d almost worn out, and despite the 60s Bond movies not being all that wide I still restarted my collection. I completely agree with Jim that this was a much better way to watch movies (even on regular 4:3 screens) and on the many benefits it brought; everything from just enjoying the full picture to actually benefitting the story, characters and, for the likes of Alien and Jaws the way the director created the suspense and jump scares.

Jim says the widescreen version of Alien better represents director Ridley Scott’s vision for his film and I completely agree. But surely that’s what the Aliens Special Edition also did for James Cameron, a version that Jim said was unnecessary and gave a negative review for in #2. Of course today these points are moot since we’ve moved on from this particular transition point in home media.

Poor Max! Part six of Hive continues the worst-plan-in-a-science-fiction-story ever and on the front cover we’ve already been told there’s a traitor in amongst the aliens, so we know synthetic Norbert has somehow survived. How he did is shown to us but not explained, as you’ll see.

We kick things off with Max dead and there’s a hole in his chest, ringing bells for anyone who had seen Alien³ in the cinema by this point (although I prefer the Collector’s Edition story in this regard). In keeping with the forced tension I talked about last time, Dr. Myakovsky can’t reach Max and he’ll obviously fall deep into the hive depths if he stretches too far, but he still tries to. Because of course he would.

Sigh. I saw that coming. And then of course Julian Lish and Gill open fire when they’re not meant to bring attention to themselves. Because, you know, tension and all that. Then comes possibly the strangest part of Jerry Prosser’s story since we saw Norbert and Max playing together in #1, back when the story had so much interesting potential.

Seemingly destroyed last time,Norbert appears to be able to pull from the alien hive around him to repair himself, and even grow a gun? No explanation is given as to how this is possible, and even though the art by Kelley Jones and colouring by Les Dorscheid are great, it really could’ve done with some letters by Clem to explain what the hell this is all about. It just looks weird. It’s also a bit too handy plot-wise and they escape the hive.

Rounding off the issue is the comics checklist and The Terminator has disappeared so DHI must’ve only been finishing off the previous publisher’s run. Then on the letters page there’s a mix of positive and negative correspondence regarding Alien³. The positive ones take the time to explain their opinions, while the negative ones are just angry rants with no reasoning, claiming it’s the end of the Alien series, that it was an insult to “true fans” (that old chestnut) and one even states that since fans are spending their money on these films they should demand what stories are told. It’s like social media before social media was a thing.

Given the results of the readers’ survey (image below), the letters really do evoke a certain hell site on the internet.

With that terrifying image we come to the end and I’m really looking forward to the next issue. I’m genuinely excited by what the next chapter of Cold War could contain and we may even be getting near the end of Hive. But most of all there’s the promise of finally taking a closer look at the first of Chris Halls’ Christmas covers! Christmas in an Aliens comic! When can we expect our next bit of horror? Why, on Christmas Eve 2024, naturally. Isn’t that the best time for a little horror story?

iSSUE FiVE < > iSSUE SEVEN

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Comic Reviews, Transformers: Generation 2

TRANSFORMERS GENERATiON 2 #2: 2-iN-1!

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Well this second issue of Marvel US’s Transformers Generation 2 feels a heck of a lot lighter after the extra long strip (and 16 page advert in the middle) of last month’s premiere issue. The contents is also more like the UK comic than the previous G1 American title, with a 16-page main strip and a seven-page back up strip which was originally printed in a special mini-comic given away with toys for Halloween that year (1993).

The cover immediately tells us this issue will pick up from where the G.I. Joe crossover finished in #142 of their comic so I was excited going into this one, but absolutely thrilled to see the first two pages! Not only are favourite characters of mine, Scarlett and Snake Eyes right there in the very first panel of the story, but on the title page we see a team of artists were involved this time, including the simply wonderful Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville working alongside each other.

Inside The Ark, Megatron still has Dr. Biggles-Jones captive on his way back to Cybertron but Spike is also on board and sneaks off to find the rest of himself, namely Fortress Maximus. Not sure why Max has been left in his decapitated robot form (Spike was his HeadMaster companion) to protect the spaceship instead of his battle station form , but oh well.

Hot Spot is one of only two survivors of the battle with Megatron and Cobra, and realises the humans have access to advanced Cybertronian tech, unaware Megatron has made it unusable. Knowing humans can’t be trusted, he sets off to destroy it and I did laugh at Cobra Commander’s threat having to use a different word than “head” in the panel below. Then, is that Starscream Megatron is reactivating? Oh, this could be interesting.

Fortress Maximus seems to have slimmed down somewhat, but then again various artists in the original comic would draw him at different scales, although here he doesn’t even look like himself and more like a regular Autobot. (There’s also no mention of Spike transforming into Cerebros first, instead he just changes into Max’s head directly.) Skydive also joins in the fight and I’d completely forgotten he was lying waiting for his timer to ding and reactivate himself after G.I. Joe #142.

Look, I know this is a classic Transformers comic, and a new classic Transformers comic as far as I’m concerned, but that doesn’t change the fact my main highlight is the return of the Joes, especially Snake Eyes. They may only be on a few pages but when those pages are drawn by Andrew and Stephen you can’t blame me. I had no idea these characters crossed back over into this comic.

They aid Hot Spot but after the weapons are destroyed Cobra surrounds him; they want any Cybertronian technology they can get their hands on, no matter how. He ends up sacrificing himself and explodes(!), although from the art that’s not 100% clear until it’s mentioned later. Meanwhile, Spike and Fortress Maximus also seem to sacrifice themselves by entering the “antimatter stream” powering The Ark, allowing Skydive to rescue Dr. Biggles-Jones.

The ship explodes with Maximus on board, apparently taking Spike with him, although it appears Megatron was also destroyed and we know he’s not easily killed. Plus there was a new toy of him just out, so we’ll see who all return in a future issue. Then it’s on to the back up strip.

Light on plot but heavy on the action, character moments and throwing in a few laughs, it reads very much like one of writer Simon Furman’s monochrome strips from the latter part of the UK comic’s run. Anyone who followed along with my real time read through of the original comic will know this isn’t a complaint, far from it in fact. It’s a brill little strip, and to complete that UK comic flavour it’s even drawn by Geoff Senior (and kudos to Richard Starkings and John Gaushell’s letters below and Sarra Mossoff’s excellent colours).

Even Bumblebee and Bludgeon are back. It feels like the original comic had never been cancelled! On one of the planets Bludgeon and his Decepticons had randomly selected to terrorise, the Autobots have arrived. There’s an underground cache of advanced weaponry and Optimus Prime et all can’t allow them to fall into Decepticon hands, although there’s a hint within his thoughts that Prime actually wants them for himself, playing to the darker version of the character we saw last time.

Hot Rod has been sent down to activate some kind of auto-defence system to help them out, so when this monster appears Prime assumes it’s a hologram. He’s mightily impressed with Hot Rod’s capabilities, especially when its huge alien eyes take out one of Bludgeon’s minions. Then the young Autobot reappears, apologising for not being able to find anything to help in the battle, producing this funny moment from Optimus!

Confirmation then that they were also here to secure weaponry. They leave with the understanding they can’t go down that route again, as that would defy everything they stand for and recalls the war they fought for millions of years. The Next Issue caption mentions “Primal” and “Old Evils” and I still can’t shake the feeling of this leading to a path well trodden. Hopefully Prime’s speech is a hint in itself, that the story won’t simply be treading the same ground again.

To finish off with I couldn’t help but have my attention drawn to two of the advertisements in this issue. One is for a reissue of the original G.I. Joe 12” figure, which we knew as Action Man here in the UK, alongside a cool action figure version to sit among kids’ 80s toys. The other advert is for pants.

Not wishing to end the review on a bum note, I’ll just say how much I really enjoyed both stories this time. I’m not sure if it’s a one-off thing having two strips but I hope it’s something we can have at least once in a while over the next year (no spoilers please). Fingers crossed for more of the same on Sunday 24th November 2024 then. Actually, just typing that has made me realise my decorations will be up just in time for that next issue! Oh, now I’m excited.

iSSUE ONE < > iSSUE THREE

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Aliens, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #5: i DON’T KNOW WHiCH SPECiES iS WORSE

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Incredible Brit artist Chris Halls (real name Chris Cunningham) created an original cover for the UK’s Aliens #5 from Dark Horse International, and that could be a xenomorph attending a certain type of American political rally! Although, the alien would probably be more civilised. Chris’ work is synonymous with this comic and you can see why, however he’s best known as a music video director and a visual effects artist on many movies in the 90s, including Alien³. There are some absolutely incredible pieces of work to come from him, including a festive cover or two! Can’t wait. This is his second, after Dark Horse wrapped up Trident‘s Volume One with a special issue.

As you can see the usual four strips are all back and surprisingly (for me) the one I enjoyed the most this month was Predator: Cold War. I’ll get to that in a bit, but first up there’s some exciting news at the top of the editorial page, Intro. According to editor Dick Hansom, in the new year UK readers would be getting brand new strips ahead of their American cousins, drawn by the artist of two previous original covers.

Given how #2 and #3’s covers were beautiful (while grotesque and horrifying, naturally) pieces of art, I can’t wait to see that kind of talent on a strip! It feels like DHI is doing everything right and at this point in 1992 it would’ve felt to me like they were quickly becoming the new Marvel UK. But before we get there we continue with the current crop of imported stories, beginning with part four of Mike Richardson’s Newt’s Tale.

This continues to basically be the official adaptation of the movie, albeit for the Special Edition version. For being a story hyped as the movie “told from Newt’s perspective”, she doesn’t even appear until the seventh page in this chapter. She’s on board the APC where Ripley and Gorman watch the video feeds of the horrors from inside the hive, but that whole section is missing.

If it had still been intact it would’ve made sense because we’d experience what Newt was seeing or hearing, but instead the story stays inside the hive the whole time. There are some great images though, such as the alien breaking through the glass of the APC while Ripley is driving. The art is pencilled by Jim Somerville, inked by Brian Garvey, lettered by Pat Brosseau and coloured by Gregory Wright. It makes more references to scenes from the Special Edition a lot of fans may not have yet seen, in this case the discussion about the remote sentries. As for Newt, she’s just stuck in as little panels here and there to remind the readers she’s still about.

Eventually we get to the scene where Ripley promises Newt she’ll never leave her and lays her down to rest in the medical bay, so we all know what’s happening next month. Happily, the strip does see fit to include a couple of moments that made my mum and I laugh when we both watched Aliens for the first time together on my birthday, a few days before Christmas way back in 1992.

The Motion Tracker news pages have plenty of interesting contemporary nuggets for this retro-loving fan. The bit about how Alien³ had been received around the world just proved Americans had poor taste (I’m kidding) and the news about Abyss corrects last issue’s error about Aliens not being filmed in widescreen. There’s also a competition for a Return of the Living Dead video which hilariously admits its inclusion here is tenuous. Finally, the comic itself helped organise what seemed like a really interesting Alien exhibition in London and publicised it with two rather bland photographs.

In the middle of the comic is the Predator back up strip, part five of Mark Verheiden’s Cold War, pencilled by Ron Randall, inked by Steve Mitchell, lettered by Clem Robins and coloured by Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe. With our two leads (Detective Schaefer and Lt. Ligachev) finally in the same location it feels like things have stepped up a gear. On a side note, with it being spooky season as I write this I’ll soon be watching the first two movies at long last to get a better understanding of the franchise. I’ve only just realised Richard Chaves is in the first one, who will forever be Lt. Colonel Paul Ironhorse to me. (If you know you know.)

“None of us had come to the oil station willingly. In that sense, we were all wards of the state, doing what we were told because there was nothing else to do”

Lt. Ligachev

So, as explained last month it’s got the same basic plot as Aliens and it’s now all set up, so we’re good to go. As Ligachev sees the dead bodies of those she used to work alongside, she reminisces about how their presence wasn’t originally wanted, how eventually they all got to know each other, and how the Soviet Union forcing them all to be out in the freezing wilderness soon became secondary. They even played games. It was hard graft for everyone, but they’d enjoyed it.

Initially taking the Americans as prisoners, she pulls Schaefer to the side to tell him she knows what they’ve really come all this way for. When they find one of the scientists rambling madly on the floor about the aliens, Ligachev explodes at Schaefer’s quips, asking him what kind of man could see someone suffer and not care. In this moment Schaefer’s internal thoughts betray how his opinion of the Soviet soldier is changing to one of respect.

The Predators themselves only make an appearance on the final page. Apart from the first issue they haven’t been seen much but their presence has always been felt; they’re the reason all of these disparate people have been thrown together and there’s a mystery as to why creatures who require so much heat to survive would be out in the frozen wastes. It’s an interesting story, but more importantly than anything else the human characters make it compulsive.

For example, back in New York we get a few pages of Sheriff Rasche from a previous Predator comic using his own detective skills to get to the bottom of what’s really happening in Russia, where he’s convinced the aliens have returned. I like this guy. He’s concerned for his friend and isn’t taking any crap in getting to the bottom of it all. (I particularly like the visitor book entry.) With his fears confirmed I hope he makes it out to join the others. I think he could bring some much needed humour to whatever the climax will entail.

Meanwhile, authorities command Sgt. Yashin to take command from Ligachev, who the Soviets feel is being too accommodating to the Americans. As per usual in these stories said authorities see everyone as expendable when there’s a potential new weapon to be had. (See what I mean about the Aliens parallels?) The chapter ends with our leads sharing a moment over a clichéd Russian vodka as Schaeffer theorises over the Predators’ arrival.

Surely the mystery can’t simply be that they got off at the wrong stop? I hope not. I’m not sure how long this story lasts and I won’t be looking that up but so far I’m enjoying the human element of things and the slow build of the threat they face. The pacing is superb, like a well crafted blockbuster in fact, which makes sense given the franchise it’s based on (and the comic’s namesake it appears to have been heavily inspired by).

This month’s Technical Readout concentrates on one of the coolest vehicles from my teen movie watching and I’m almost positive one of my mates owned a model kit of it. I just loved this thing so I had to include it in the review. At the top-right you’ll see a behind-the-scenes photo of the full-sized one used alongside the models, interior sets and mock-ups. I wish we could get more such photos but the comic seems to prefer to keep things within the universe of the films, rather than the making-of features in the Alien³ mini-series.

Rolls Royce should be very happy upon reading this since they’ll apparently still be in business so far into the future, although it was really meant to go that fast? Maybe in a straight line… and downhill. I remember the terrifying scene set inside the APC as Ripley and Gorman watched the Colonel Marines’ heartbeats stop one-by-one as they fled the alien hive, a scene which also played out to great effect in Jurassic World. A homage, perhaps?

Speaking of fleeing an alien hive, that’s exactly what the least likeable selection of human characters and their one-dimensional android character have to do in part five of Jerry Prosser’s Hive. The What Has Gone Before pages feature some of the US Dark Horse covers and they’re great pieces of art in their own right but just compare them to the ones used by the UK comic, in particular the Chris Halls covers to come. Stick with the OiNK Blog and you’ll see what I mean over the next year.

As I explained last time Mayakovsky, Lish and Gil’s ship was struck by lightning as they tried to leave the planet after their android alien Norbert was destroyed by the real aliens. As Newt told us previously they mostly come at night and that’s what our characters fear as they look upon the hive with only two guns to their name. However, they do have the stupid comic invention, the Inhibitors. Designed to stop the aliens sensing them, still no explanation is given as to how this is possible but there’s something else which doesn’t make sense either.

According to Mayakovsky the Inhibitors only have a field of about three meters in all directions. So these world-destroying creatures, so successful in their ability to overcome anything in their quest to colonise and spread, can only sense humans if they’re nearly on top of them? (Or they forget what they were chasing when they get close to an Inhibitor?) We know this isn’t the case, and combined with the ludicrous plan below it all feels too forced. It’s trying too hard to create tension and instead comes across as silly.

They could stay in their ship until the storm passes but they say it’s too dangerous to trap themselves in their tiny escape pod with no weapons. So they decide to go through the hive instead? Some explanation about following Norbert’s energy reading to take them directly to the ship doesn’t make any more sense! The Inhibitors mean they can sneak their way through, but surely that’d also mean they could just stay on their ship, then walk around the hive when the storm passes?

Admittedly, there are some good moments as far as the art is concerned, such as this one when Lish shines her torch right on an alien in the darkness. Kelley Jones’ art and Les Dorscheid’s colours (with Clem on letters again) do bring a great deal of atmosphere to the proceedings but can’t take away the ludicrousness of it all. I mean, the Inhibitors stop the aliens from seeing a torch light shining right in their eyes… or whatever they have for eyes?

The last strip, the two-page Aliens Vs Predator II written by Randy Stradley and drawn by Chris Warner has potential with its tiny snippets of plot and character every month but, while I don’t want to end the review with two duds, it’s frustrating to only get such a small part every month. This impressive spread is the entire chapter for this issue. I love the black and white art but more would happen in those tiny daily tabloid newspaper comic strips from childhood.

Don’t get me wrong I’m still enjoying the comic. The two main Aliens strips have disappointed me these last two issues, but only because they showed so much potential before that. When the crossover strip finally comes to an end I’ll read back over it to see how it reads then. Meanwhile, the Predator strip continues to impress issue-after-issue and the contemporary features are always interesting. We’ve a long way to go. Let’s see if that early potential is followed up on with #6 on Thursday 19th November 2024.

iSSUE FOUR < > iSSUE SiX

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

SLEEZE BROTHERS #5: DOWN THE PAN

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With no ‘Next Issue’ dates in any of these Marvel UK (Epic imprint) comics I had to do a little research in order to find out the specific release dates. Just as I did for Dragon’s Claws and Death’s Head I dug through my extensive Transformers and The Real Ghostbusters collections and checked every one of their Mighty Marvel Comics Checklists, which the publisher printed for 18 months in total around this time.

It was worth it because every other online resource simply states the month on the cover, which as you can see is somewhat out. Arriving only three weeks after #4 but a whole nine weeks before #6 (I’ll get to that further below), the penultimate issue of The Sleeze Brothers arrived today in 1989 and the incompetent detectives don’t exactly appear to be flushed with success. (Sorry.)

Each month the inside cover has been given over to a different character in an original take on an editorial where they wax lyrical about something that’s on their mind, something which also acts as an introduction to an aspect of that month’s story. In this case, the President’s mistress Marilyn Blondclone informs us in her own way of the Scoopers, a band of mutated humans living in the sewers far below the city.

The first strip page shows us a couple of such people digging about the sludge for food, their speech patterns conveying that they purposely block their noses to deal with the stench. Upon discovering a cabbage one states, “Dover dare, a nabbage. Lovely – notten right frew!” Everything in the city is recycled, but what can’t be ends up down here. But that’s not all to be found.

I love how every month the double-page title spread acts almost like a movie poster for the story. They convey everything we need to know about the humour and the imagination that’ll be on display for the next 20 pages, probably none more so than the Psycho-inspired spread in the previous issue. I particularly like the little in-jokes the comic is so good at, such as here with the replacement for the usual “Stan Lee presents”.

The same team as always are present and correct: John Carnell (writer), Andy Lanning (pencils), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Steve White (colours), Helen Stone (letters) and Dan Abnett (editor). The story sees Marilyn about to attend the Phoney awards where it’s been fixed for her to win yet again, but her previous year’s trophy has been stolen and it contains her insurance policy against the love of her life (the President), something to guarantee her luxurious lifestyle.

The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz can retrieve it

Stolen by The Frog Burglar (he’s exactly what it says on the tin), the national security head J. Edgar Hairdryer makes a return and threatens the frog with a Terminator-type villain if he doesn’t hand the award over. The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz (who reminds me of Rizzo from The Muppets) can retrieve it. Following a lead, the Sleezes end up at the Frog’s emporium where he sells his extensive stolen goods to the masses.

Have a very close look at that first panel and lurking in the shadows of the queuing public you should spot it’s actually Freddy Kruger who’s having a “nightmare” of a time alongside a certain floating green (and most definitely slimy) apparition from the other comic this creative team had a huge hand in. Reading The Sleeze Brothers has me gagging to finish my Real Ghostbusters collection so I can get stuck into reading that too!

While waiting outside El’ Ape and Deadbeat seem to confirm what I suspected back in #1, that they know they’re in the pages of a comic. Then, after acquiring what he came for, a heavily armed religious nut job soon causes death and destruction in the name of peace, love and god (some things don’t change in America it would seem, even in a far future that’s taking place in a comic).

Amongst all the chaos Frog Burglar is captured by the local police and the Terminator-type is damaged but still able to take its secret commands from Hairdryer, below. (There’s a sentence!) The brothers seem to be nowhere nearer the reward money but things are about to go in their favour. If you can call being covered in frog (and everyone else’s) poo a turn up for the books. 

In prison the two-headed chief of police Pigski learns where Frog Burglar has hidden the Phoney all this time, so you can imagine his horror when he finds out the inmate has been granted a toilet break. It’s a very funny scene that could’ve been lifted right out of an issue of OiNK, complete with toilet humour puns and even a mention of a plop. Then, just as you think things couldn’t get any ickier, the Burglar’s attorney arrives.

So, let’s take a look at the situation at (smelly) hand here. The police simply want to retrieve a stolen object, an object Marilyn Blondclone has hired detectives to track down because it contains dirt on the President, who Hairdryer wants to protect, and because of this fact it’s worth a fortune on the black market, and it’s now in the sewers. The same sewers where the story began by introducing us to the people and monsters that dwell there. So the two plots have merged in a brilliant piece of writing that also happens to be bloomin’ hilarious.

However, as one of Pigski’s officers explains, “You’d have to be a crazy, no-brained, lowlife, sonofatube to go down there” with a vicious monster on the loose. So who do you think the police will choose? Ding, ding! Yep, with the Sleezes currently in the clink for interfering in a police investigation, Pigski agrees to drop the list of ludicrous charges he was going to use against them if they retrieve the Phoney. What they find when they venture down makes for a wonderful full-page background.

I’ve already mentioned the licenced Marvel UK comic the team behind The Sleeze Brothers also worked on, so I’m positive that third panel is a funny reference to a famous line in the original movie. Among the Scoopers their leader speaks through his own blocked nose to tells us his name is Broken Potty (although I like to think the bunged up version is his true name) and as per usual with Andy and Stephen’s work there are a lot of funny details the longer you let your eyes wander over the page.

The intricate illustration of this page leads on to the biggest laugh of the whole issue. While The Sleeze Brothers was aimed at a more mature audience than the likes of the company’s licenced fare, I’m sure kids would’ve still got this next gag and had a private chuckle to themselves, their parents none the wiser. There’s a lot of potty humour here but it’s top quality potty humour. (Yes, it exists.) For example, while looking down upon the scene from their sewage pipe El’ Ape senses something and tells Deadbeat, “Shhh! There’s a movement behind us!” Brilliant.

The last handful of pages rush towards the climax. The brothers are captured and tied up as a sacrifice to the monster of the sewers, then a cute little doggie turns into the monster on a whistle command, the frog coming to a suitably grisly end. However, Deadbeat uses his own whistle to transform the monster back to the cute puppy to save him and brother, whistling again to destroy the Terminator with the monster, and one more time to give them a cute pet to get home!

At the awards show President Sinartra, Marilyn Blondclone and J. Edgar Hairdryer are on stage for Marilyn’s “outstanding bits in Silicon Valley” award, and as each part of the finale plays out we’re treated to their reactions, below. In order, their reactions are to El’ Ape appearing with the stolen Phoney on stage, then to the head of the Terminator bouncing out to seek revenge, then they see a camera film fall out of the busted Phoney, and finally they react to El’ Ape opening the film to take a look and ruining it in the bright lights.

To say it’s a madcap story would be to sell it short. It simply doesn’t stop to allow the reader to catch a breath! While the early issues were incredibly funny and original, this and last month’s stories have shown not only that the team has really got to grips with the premise, but that they can continue to outdo themselves every time.

It bodes well for #6, the final issue, but unfortunately for whatever reason there was a big gap before its release. According to the Mighty Marvel Checklists #6 of The Sleeze Brothers wasn’t released for another nine weeks! So you’ll just have to wait until Monday 23rd December 2024 for the next review. That should be a great early Christmas pressie though. But fear not, there’s a little extra treat coming your way on the blog on Sunday 10th November. You’ll just have to wait to find out what it is.

iSSUE FOUR < > iSSUE SiX

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Comic Reviews, OiNK Contributors

COMBAT COLiN #5: MARVEL-OUS MiRTH

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Fancy 32 very high quality pages containing 28 equally high quality and hilarious Lew Stringer comics? Surely for every reader of this blog the answer to that is a no-brainer. After a lengthy delay, Lew’s fifth collection of Combat Colin strips from Marvel UK’s Transformers comic arrives and it’s a belter. Lew’s humour strip just got better and better during the last couple of years of that comic’s life and now we’re deep into that part of the run.

Covering over half a year’s worth of misadventures from 1990 and 1991, Colin had been upgraded to a full page for a while and Lew really took advantage of the extra space. He included so many gags and background jokes per page his work was often a highlight for many readers of the Robots in Disguise. He also wrote more multi-issue stories which were among the best he produced.

Combat Colin with Semi-Automatic Steve in The Secret of the Combat Trousers is the first such tale in this collection and features baddies in disguise, multi-dimensional travel and even the honest-to-gosh “true origin of Combat Colin”. It’s a brilliant three-part tale that I remember well, not just from my recent real time read through of Transformers, but from the actual time of its first printing.

However, the yampiest tale here has got to be Battlefield Wallytown which originally ran for a whopping six weeks. Returning villains, returning heroes, warping of realities, time travel… anything Lew could come up with seems to have been squeezed into this one and it all works. It’s been combined into one story like in previous collections, although the other multipart series here appear in their original forms.

Lew’s art is just as funny as his scriptwriting, such as Colin’s enigmatic face or that brilliant panel where he conveys the bright light of a hero’s downfall on a black and white page. Story wise, there’s also the return of a robotic foe that’s much more cumbersome than the original (perfectly spoofing RoboCop 2 in my eyes) in a strip with an ending that has us re-reading the previous chapters to see the clue we all overlooked. Then there’s the perfect example of how a common everyday phrase can take on a whole new meaning here.

Every page includes details of the issue of Transformers they originally appeared in and its cover date (instead of release date, but this makes it easier to find the issue if you wanted to) and one of my very favourite Combat Colin pages finally makes its appearance. To see a preview of it just go and have a look at a special Christmas post from last year.

In Lew’s editorial he explains how some of the strips are printed in greyscale because they’ve been taken from the pages of the published comic after Marvel UK lost his original artwork and he hopes this doesn’t spoil our enjoyment too much. On the contrary, I think the greyscale pages are some of the best looking here, with a lovely retro feel like reading a classic Dandy or Beano annual, and the printing finish is smoother.

With an appearance by a certain Autobot, Lew’s token funny reference to The Prisoner and even a classic Airplane/Leslie Nielsen quote (you know which one) there’s so much to enjoy in here that I don’t have the room to include them all, nor would I want to! You should be surprised by them and enjoy them for yourself and you can do so by buying the comic directly from Lew.

Even the advert for Lew’s personal blog is funny with the cosiest looking Daleks you ever did see!

So how do you get a hold of #5 of Combat Colin for yourself? Just head to Lew’s eBay shop where you can buy this hilarious comic, printed on extremely high quality paper with a card cover no less, for just £5.00 (plus £3.50 p+p). A bargain if ever there was one! There’s just the one volume still to be published, which promises to include not only the remainder of the Transformers strips but also material I’ve never read before. Let’s hope we haven’t got as long to wait this time!

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Comic Reviews, Transformers: Generation 2

TRANSFORMERS GENERATiON 2 #1: FOUR MiLLiON YEARS iN THE MAKiNG

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Finally here we are, ready to begin a brand new (to me and thus the blog) series of classic Transformers comics. Reading the entire original Marvel UK run in real time was one of the very best comics reading experiences of my life and here is the sequel, the highly regarded Transformers: Generation 2, the original US series. The hype I’m feeling is somewhat tempered by the fact there’ll only be 12 reviews over one year compared to the 375 posts I made on Instagram for the previous run(!), but it’s still all brand new to me, I’ve never read an issue of this, so the excitement levels are still very high.

This first issue is a chunky 68 pages, although cheekily the middle 16 are one long advert for Marvel’s new Midnight Sons so it’s not quite as chunky as it first appears. (And yes, it’s not a sample comic strip, it’s an actual 16-page advert.) However, chapter one of the new Transformers, entitled War Without End continues to be written by Simon Furman and comes in at 37 pages. That’s a good start. As for that shiny foil version of the cover, it opens out into this lovely gatefold image.

Before we get stuck into the meat of the story I do have one issue with that cover. I may not have read any of these yet but I’ve seen this front page umpteen times over the years, and it’s been peering out at me on my shelves since I completed the collection a few years back. It’s that tagline at the top. It had only been two years since the end of the first generation of Transformers comics, how young did Marvel US think people were having kids?!

Anyway, let’s roll out!

The story begins with a space cruiser’s captain being informed of an attack somewhere far out in the galaxy, far away from both Earth and Cybertron and the title spread shows some familiar faces surprisingly spearheading that attack. Hound, Broadside, Sideswipe and Blades (on the following pages) are seen killing everyone around them, with Blades taking particular glee in doing so.

The way it’s been conveyed to the reader is meant to lead us down the path of thinking these Autobots’ allegiances have changed. The war was meant to be over. The scene is reported as a surprise strike attack. The Autobots are the instigators. But then we see one of the so-called victims of their attack transform and the dramatic entrance of an old friend, it’s confirmed there’s More Than Meets The Eye here. How appropriate.

These pages of rollicking action art come courtesy of new Transformers artist Derek Yaniger (Hellraiser, Web of Spider-Man, Alpha Flight) and the colours of Sarra Mossoff (Deathlok, Darkman, Mighty Thor). This is some wild imagery. I’d only ever seen the occasional panel or some of their covers when used on Fleetway’s UK Generation 2 comics, but this is the first time I’ve held any of it in my hands and it’s right up there with the very best UK Marvel stuff from the likes of Geoff Senior, Andrew Wildman, Stephen Baskerville and Gina Hart.

“Early digital lettering days, so why not use a more robotic looking font?”

Richard Starkings, letterer

This is just gorgeous to look at. It’s genuinely exciting and begs to be studied at length before moving on to the next page. The lettering is also rather unique and it’s the creation of friend of the blog Richard Starkings (editor on The Real Ghostbusters, Dragon’s Claws, The Sleeze Brothers). It’s mentioned elsewhere in this issue by Simon that it was Richard who came up with Generation 2’s lettering style and so I just had to ask Richard directly about it.

“Early digital lettering days, so why not use a more robotic looking font?”, Richard told me about his and John Gaushell‘s work when we spoke. “We suggested color coding the boxes on the left to match the Transformer and gave the Dinobots a different style. If there was a bold word, we hit the boxes with black. Rob Tokar was the editor, one of a handful of editors who was happy to see digital lettering on his books. And this was a perfect fit.” No arguments here.

It’s actually Grimlock who comes out with a couple of rousing speeches during this story rather than Optimus Prime, including one where he wipes away the dirt from his body to reveal the new look Autobot logo Hasbro had designed for the new toy range. Simon has given him a speech pattern somewhere between the original UK strips and that of the famous cartoon voice, and it works. Then we find out that the robot called Jhiaxus (a creation of the comic), to whom the report of the attack was given aboard his spaceship Twilight, is actually the leader of the Decepticons. How so? Where’s Bludgeon? Intriguing.

So anyway, we find out the Autobots were actually saving some rather thin-looking humanoid aliens from an invasion by Decepticons they’d never encountered before, and Jhiaxus’ minions questions why they’re fighting. They’ve never heard of the term “Autobots” and thought they were all Cybertronians so should be working together. Jhiaxus describes the name as an acronym from the distant past and something to disregard. Curiouser and curiouser.

Four million years of conflict, stretching between Cybertron and Earth, and finally… all the old ghosts laid to rest!”

Optimus Prime

We finally catch up with Optimus Prime who seems to be having some sort of vision. A vision of him standing upon a dead world, surrounded by screams, dead beings rising from the ground and as soon as they touch him he turns to dust. It’s a recurring waking nightmare and he describes it as a vision of him “running from something unspeakably ancient and evil”. Again? After the whole Unicron and Primus thing we’re going down that route again? Then, as if in answer to my query we get this lovely next page.

I really like this. The story can be read with no previous knowledge of what came before, which Simon touches upon in a special page later in the comic, but this adds a bit of weight for new readers and an acknowledgment to fans. The best way I can describe it is if you started watching Doctor Who when Christopher Ecclestone or Ncuti Gatwa took over the role. These were two moments when the whole show reset itself and welcomed in new viewers while also showing them there’s a rich history there they can delve into if they so wish. I get that same vibe here and as a fan who has read everything that came before it’s an exciting feeling to have.

One thing that could’ve used a bit of explanation for long-term fans is how some characters such as Optimus and Grimlock can transform again after using the Nucleon energy source which gave them incredible powers but stopped this fundamental ability. We UK readers had the explanation in the prose story of the final annual but US readers didn’t, so I’m curious how this was met by them at the time. Not that the transformations occurring here are anything to write home about.

This is the one and only thing I can criticise the incredible art for. We don’t get those intricate drawings from issues past showing how each character changed from one form to the next, not even the wavy lines of Dan Reed. Instead we see the before and after shots in the same panels, with nothing in between. I have an overwhelmingly positive view of this comic as the start of something brilliant, but not showing these feels misguided in a Transformers comic. Although look closely and I do like how we can see Hot Rod‘s cannon fire continue through his (invisible) transformation.

At least Prime’s name isn’t plastered over the side of his trailer.

It’s interesting that they’ve kept their Earthen modes despite leaving the planet behind. Maybe they’ve grown attached. They find themselves out in the cosmos seeking out the worlds Bludgeon and his Decepticons have attacked as they look to build a new Cybertron (seemingly never finding out it wasn’t destroying itself at the end of the previous run but going through some kind of rebirth). Prime questions his own motives and those of Bludgeon until Grimlock gathers everyone together, having summoned them to this planet in the first place.

Reading the spread above the mystery deepens for the Autobots but the readers are aware of who is actually behind the creation of all of these “Little Cybertrons”, and possibly behind all of the conflict they’ve found in this sector of the galaxy. It’s a neat twist that we’re up to speed before the main characters and to see them trying to work it out. That is, until Jhiaxus’ ship arrives and blasts their base to pieces.

Before they get to meet him we get a very quick double-page spread for an update on the whereabouts of Megatron for anyone who hadn’t been on board with the G.I. Joe crossover event. It’s a neat addition and makes me wish David had been the artist on that comic after Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville’s earlier chapters!

So it all comes together with Optimus Prime and Grimlock hauled in front of Jhiaxus at gunpoint and he explains he and his cohorts left Cybertron four million years ago after Prime, Megatron et all went missing in deep space. Escaping their dying world and leaving behind those he deemed unworthy to lead (including a nice image of Lord Straxus for long-term fans, especially UK ones), they set about constructing new worlds. At least, that’s how he puts it.

To him, they are one race now: Decepticons. There is no more good or evil, he says. That way of thinking is for lesser beings than Cybertronians, like the Autobots who he sees as a strange “offshoot” of the true race. If beings can’t co-exist with them then they are simply deemed unworthy of sharing the universe and are exterminated. Jhiaxus has spent millions of years building new Cybertrons and a great galactic empire. He’s a genuinely original and interesting character for Transformers, bringing some social commentary with him.

Afterwards, it’s Grimlock who gives another speech (and is that a pictorial reference to the classic story with the best title ever?), this time for Prime’s benefit and in response something awakens inside Optimus. The war was won, but for what? He has fought for Cybertron and its people and all the while those very people were conquering the universe in the name of expansion and some higher calling. We see a battle to escape over the final pages with a more violent Prime not taking prisoners. He is disgusted at his own race and afterwards he goes over the task that lies ahead in his mind.

The final page, those final thoughts, sum up what this Generation 2 comic will be all about. Plus there’s that pesky ancient evil thing too, of course, which I’m still sceptical of because it feels well-trodden. It could be something brand new, but so far the pitch for it seems all too familiar. Still, the Jhiaxus storyline is fantastic! This has been an incredible opening chapter to what should’ve been another multi-year epic. It certainly has the potential, even without that apocalyptic vision which feels unnecessary with everything else here already being on such a grand scale.

What will eventually become the letters page is instead a personal message from writer Simon Furman in this premiere issue. He mentions Richard Starkings’ great lettering design and also the return of Geoff Senior. Fantastic! Between this and the back page advert for the series (below, taken from the back of the gatefold issue), a lot is made of the point I talked about regarding new readers. The thing is, with a name like ‘Transformers: Generation 2’, which screams “SEQUEL” I wonder how successful that goal could possibly be in reality.

The next issue box promises a return to the storyline involving Megatron and Spike from #142 of G.I. Joe and with that this big, fat first issue of this fondly remembered series comes to an end for the first time for this new reader. I know it ends up cut short after only 12 chapters, but this next year still promises to be an incredible experience for this Transformers fan. I can’t wait to jump back in on Sunday 27th October 2024.

G.i. JOE iSSUE 142 < > iSSUE TWO

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