All posts by Phil Boyce

OiNK! #17: HO(G), HO(G), HO(G)!

It’s great to finally be reading the issues I enjoyed so much as a kid and this is one I’ve really been really looking forward to, what with me being such a fan of the season. As a child I remember the TV Times magazine being a staple part of my television viewing, even though it only had ITV and Channel Four inside it, and the Christmas issue was a bit of an event when it arrived. Today the only time I’ll buy a TV listings magazine is Christmas, there’s something wonderfully nostalgic about it nowadays. Back in 1986 OiNK‘s TV Tips sat proudly alongside the family’s TV Times in the magazine rack for the whole of the school holiday. I insisted upon it.

What a present the free gift turned out to be too. The third and final section of the calendar for 1987 came with this issue and when linked to the separate parts from #15 and #16 it dominated my bedroom for the whole of the next year. It was subject to many pen marks when crossing off dates and highlighting birthdays, but it was treasured. Below are photos of the final part and the finished calendar I’ve been able to acquire again, proudly taking centre stage on the wall of my office, impatiently waiting for a year the dates will match up.

The issue is packed with Christmassy strips, spoof toy adverts, cards and decorations to make, Christmas stories and more. I know it’s only going to get harder from here on to pick out a few highlights, this issue is proof of that but after long deliberations here’s the selection box of piggy perfection. To set the mood for the festive frivolities is Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental drawn as ever by Ian Knox.

I think that sets things up for us rightly.

So a comic with a comical take on TV listings magazines on the cover just has to follow that up on the inside and we weren’t to be disappointed. Blog readers who were alive in the 80s will find this next page particularly funny with references to a lot of the shows we’d have enjoyed ourselves back then, as well as those during which we’d have retreated to our bedrooms to play with our toys but which were favourites of our parents.

So what was on offer for us on TV?  Some aspects really weren’t that much different than today.  Cartoon movies, The Snowman, as well as the inhabitants of Albert Square refusing to have a merry one even back then. We may have had a festive special of Knight Rider instead of Doctor Who but the clichés about the television schedules at this time of the year aren’t a new thing, as OiNK proves here.

To be fair I’m actually a fan of Christmas telly and I think no matter the amount of cracker (no pun intended) specials and film premieres are broadcast people will carry on with the same old complaints. Interestingly, that Roger Moore James Bond illustration by Tim Thackeray was drawn for the first OiNK annual, which wouldn’t be released until the next year! (You can just about make out the OiNK logo above Roger’s head.) Just goes to show how far in advance those books were created.

Let’s not forget about the true meaning of Christmas. I’m not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination but I’m a big kid for this time of year. To me, it’s all about those nearest and dearest to me and thanking them for being in my life for another year. It’s about presents of course but I get just as much of a thrill out of giving to those I love as I do in receiving from them. It’s a time to be grateful, to be happy, to feel loved and to share that love.

In other words, the true meaning of Christmas is ripe for OiNK to tear to shreds.

Written by Mark Rodgers and drawn by Davy Francis, Blue Xmas takes the foundations of any good Christmas story and builds upon them with plenty of laughs along the way, before it’s all flipped on its head in the final panels. A poor boy who won’t be receiving any gifts for Christmas tries to raise some money so he can buy his mum a present and through it all he finds that the joy of giving is better than receiving, only for him to be punished for his goodwill!

You can also get a real sense of the amount of work Davy (Francis) put in

From memory I could’ve sworn this was in one of the annuals but here it is in the regular comic. A good few years back now I had the pleasure of meeting Davy for a chat and had the chance of purchasing some of his original OiNK artwork. One of the pieces was the first page of Blue Xmas which is now up on my wall. I thought I’d show you a few highlights of this strip now.

In the comic the strip featured two-tone colour, all the faces being quite aptly blue, but on the original drawing you can see it was black and white. You can also get a real sense of the amount of work Davy put in; in the title box you can actually see the pressure put on the page by Davy’s colouring-in of this solid black first panel. Those groups of lines he always used for backgrounds look even more time consuming in full-scale (this is about twice the size of the pages of the comic) and you can also see some of the correction fluid used to change a speech balloon to one with frosty icicles.

A quick look at some of the other highlights of the issue now, starting with Harry the Head‘s big adventure taking him into space, The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile sees the school pantomime descend into chaos and this particular panel had me laughing aloud, and the Christmas Quiz has a real head scratcher for you. Then in Ham Dare, Pig of the Future there’s more parodying of the all-British adventure comics of the day and that image of Ham looks so much like Dan Dare I think artist J.T. Dogg could easily have taken over the strip in Eagle!

I admit that well into my adult life I’d always assumed Mrs. Claus’ name was Mary! I know this was mentioned in a Charlie Brown Christmas Special (thanks to Wikipedia) but I wonder if OiNK was where I originally got that idea. Anyway, moving on.

The commercial breaks during those Christmas programmes are usually filled with Boxing Day and New Year sales adverts for all those people not happy with what their loved ones gave them. Getting in on this racket is none other than OiNK’s in-house catalogue company, GBH with their very own Christmas Catalogue for the following Christmas! This is definitely the best so far, complete with photographs of children enjoying (well, in theory) the dodgy toys and a background image by Mike Taylor complete with a very unhappy snowman and a very smug fox.

This particular madvertisement was written by both Mark Rodgers and Patrick Gallagher and this is Mike’s first contribution to OiNK. A renowned ‘zine illustrator, Mike would go on to provide more lovingly crafted work for 13 issues altogether, being most prolific during the comic’s weekly phase.

Patrick directed the photo session which must’ve been hilarious to be a part of. His brother James was the actual photographer and the Barbie toys belonged to his sister Bernie. The two children featured are Patrick’s cousins, Erin Claffey and her brother Patrick, the rest of the toys belonging to them. On a side note I remember having that Castle Greyskull toy myself and many years later being told by my parents they had to make the trip all the way from Belfast to Dublin in order to get it that particular Christmas!

A few issues previous to this Lew Stringer introduced us to Tom Thug‘s mum. When it was announced she’d be appearing both Tom and his father were terrified. Who on Earth could do that to the two biggest wannabe bullies in OiNKtown? What kind of bully was the mum, to make these men shake in their bovver boots? As it turns out Mrs Thug was the kindest, sweetest and most affectionate woman you could imagine and that’s what put the fear of god into them. It was a funny twist and here she’s putting Tom to sleep on Christmas Eve, the morning after which she’d end up very happy with what can only be described as a Christmas miracle.

One thing I always like about Christmassy comics is seeing favourite characters within that setting. We all have our own Christmas traditions for the big day itself and sometimes it feels like we’re getting an insight into the cartoonists’ traditions, maybe from their own childhood, or at the very least maybe what they think our traditions were. These were always extra special strips and one cartoonist who never disappoints with a snowy logo is Lew.

A little extra note, according to Lew he originally had Tom actually shoot Santa but Mark Rodgers said it should be a dream so as not to upset kids. Lew says, “Mark was 100% right and it worked out far better”.

While it only ever snowed once for December 25th when I was a child we expected all of our strips to be covered in the white stuff and Lew always seemed to go that extra mile in this regard. Whether it was Tom and Pete in OiNK, or Combat Colin and Robo Capers in Transformers, you could be assured of a white Christmas in the pages of your comics. Nice to see Satan the Cat back in his own little mini-strip too and to have it all finished off with crackers and holly, and that little man at the top keeping the pages clear is a funny little touch.


“I normally manage to cadge a free, slap-up meal at Christmas time!”

Mr. Big Nose

This issue is really making my Christmas all over again 35 years after it did the first time, and now it’s time the main event, a wonderful multi-page Uncle Pigg strip, one of only two times this would happen in the whole of OiNK’s run. Written by Mark Rodgers and of course drawn by Ian Jackson this four-page story is spread throughout the comic, even appearing as a subplot in Rubbish Man.

The plot has our editor declaring he’ll take his staff out for a Christmas treat, but the free gifts and competition prizes have drained the piggy bank. But as luck would have it, at that exact moment a flyer pops up offering a £10,000 reward from Santa Claus if anyone can find Rudolph who has gone missing. Donning his best Sherlock Holmes-esque getup Uncle Pigg leads his team into the snow and immediately stumbles upon a clue. But not all is as it seems.

I can remember reading this back then and loving every panel of it, wondering why we didn’t get at least a full-page like this every issue. I don’t know how many times I read it, but it was so witty and the art so funny it was definitely more than a few. I even remember lying in bed on Christmas Eve reading it yet again (even though the next issue had already arrived by that point, see the bottom of this review for more on that) just before going to sleep, or at least trying to fall asleep with the excitement of the night, which this only added to.

As the story continues there’s one madcap mishap after another, such as above when Percy Plop makes a welcome guest appearance. Yes, the script is funny but Ian’s style heightens every piece of slapstick such as the policeman skidding on Percy, forcing Uncle Pigg’s assistant deep into the snow. In the end our heroes follow the trail right back to the OiNK offices which Mary Lighthouse (critic) and none other than Santa Claus himself have commandeered. Why is Santa working with Mary? Read on.

In hindsight it’s a bit strange to have Santa team up with Mary, but when you think about it he isn’t meant to bring toys to the naughty children, is he? Children who like rude jokes, bare bums on their comic covers, puns about plops and stuff like that. But in the end Uncle Pigg and the OiNK crew won through and showed him we were all just as deserving. The present he refers to is Patrick Gallagher‘s cut-out mobile on the back cover “for people who hate Xmas”, which is a very strange thing to put in a children’s comic. It’s more revenge on Santa for the story, but still, I remember thinking even at the time it was a little weird. Surely no one in OiNK’s target audience would hate it!

So that’s us at the end of a superb issue, a very special Christmas treat and a great stocking filler in itself if you can throw a hint at any loved one to search for it on eBay in time. With everything wrapped up (again, no pun intended) in time for the holidays there’s just time to squeeze in Jeremy Banx‘s Mr. Big Nose, another highlight of this issue that has stayed in my memory for decades and it’s a joy to see it again.

The next issue of OiNK had an on-sale date of 27th December but as per usual with Christmas comics and magazines it was released earlier than normal, what with the comics publishers shutting for the holidays, distributors working limited hours and back then our shops actually shut for days at a time to give the staff time off too. So our New Year’s editions would always arrive before Christmas, but I’ve no way of knowing exactly when so I’m just going to stick to the on-sale date.

That means the Hogmanay (appropriately enough) issue of OiNK will be reviewed right here on Monday 27th December 2021. I hope to see you then.

iSSUE 16 < > iSSUE 18

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CHRiSTMAS 2021

COMiNG UP: OiNK! #17

It’s the most wonderful time of the year and time for the most wonderful free gift in the history of comics (not that I’d hype it up and I might be biased) to finally be completed in time for the end of 1986. Part three of Ian Jackson‘s glorious Mount Rushboar calendar poster was coming in the next issue of OiNK and you’ll be able to see it and the finished product in all its glory in the full review of #17 tomorrow.

But even better than that is the fact it’s the first Christmas Special! I should just get this off my chest now, I absolutely adore Christmas and this next issue of OiNK was my first experience of a festive comic. From the snowy logo on the cover photograph of the Queen making a Christmas dinner out of her corgis, to the spoof TV listings inside making fun of the seasonal telly and a multi-page Uncle Pigg story, it was a hoot from start to finish!

Now, finally, I’m getting to read this issue all over again and I can’t wait! The full review will be here at some point tomorrow, Monday 13th December 2021 so come back then for cheer and goodwill to all* in a review which I’m particularly excited to write.

(* except Mary Lighthouse, butchers and, surprisingly, Santa Claus it would seem! Find out why in the review.)

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CHRiSTMAS 2021

SUPER NATURALS #4: MURDER & MAYHEM

The latest issue of editor Barrie Tomlinson‘s Super Naturals from Fleetway decided the best way to get new readers on board was to bribe them with cold, hard cash. I’m joking, of course, the fact was this Sandy James cover informed potential readers of the prizes for their submissions used in the pages of the comic. As Super Naturals continued some of the best strips would be those based on reader ideas too. For now though, let’s stick to the issue at hand and it kicks off as usual with the latest chapter of The Legend of the Super Naturals, as drawn by Dave D’Antiquis.

Continuing to terrorise the streets of New Orleans during Hallowe’en 1987, the evil forces of Skull seem to be having the time of their afterlives, especially when human law enforcement begins to fight back. The police officers are easily dispatched by Snake Bite who transforms, hypnotising them to the spot.  As he closes in to bite them (and kill them I’m assuming) Lionheart and his noble warriors turn up to save the day.  Or at least attempt to.

The thing is Skull’s on a roll with his seemingly unstoppable Bat Bopper truck. He goes beyond the police lines, seeking out the military defence cordon we saw mobilise last time. But they’re nothing against this possessed vehicle, their weaponry literally bouncing off the supernatural force behind it. Just to drive home the point it rams the tanks, flipping them out of the way as if they themselves were toys and firing bat bombs at the approaching air forces.

As is the case in stories like this we humans can’t tell the difference between the good and bad guys when we’re faced with something different and the strip ends with Eagle Eye fired upon in his bird form after a pilot saw him transform. Of course, Eagle Eye actually did so in order to take to the air and help protect the pilots. What’s curious here is how he refers to his ‘Power of Truth’ at one stage, but that just results in a powerful energy beam coming from his chest in the midst of battle with his foes. Surely that power would be used to force people to tell the truth?

Anyway, Legend sets quite the pace and while it remains light on plot it continues to do its job of introducing our characters and their abilities brilliantly. This chapter in particular feels like a truly huge battle, the reader left wondering if there could ever be anything us humans could do to stand up against these supernatural forces if they truly turned against us. Or are we forever to rely on the good guys to swoop in and save us, which given the fact we’re shooting them down doesn’t bode well. A good bit of old-fashioned, grand scale action to begin proceedings before we move on to the light-hearted Ghostlings drawn by Anthony Williams.

A new story begins this issue and it has the potential to be quite interesting and a lot of fun. Colliding as they crash through another barrier from Ghostworld, the opposing forces of good and evil appear to have lost a couple of their helpers. Both Weird Wolf and Spooks have fallen off at the moment of transition and ended up in some kind of limbo or void between realities, or so it initially seems. There are only hints so far about where they actually are and I like that, adding a bit of mystery to the fun.

When faced with a giant dinosaur-like creature Spooks immediately concludes they’ve been thrust into the past but Weird Wolf isn’t so sure. For once the dimwitted punk rocker may be on to something. The dino only has one eye and he’s never heard of anything like it before in all his years. Most of all, he sees a chance to do a rare thing for a Ghostling and make a meaningful contribution to the cause.

It’s actually not a bad plan. While the first Ghostlings strip was fun (and actually quite funny in places) this one is far more interesting. Everything from the sudden change in setting, the mystery and Weird Wolf becoming more than the petulant teen wolf of previous issues is really enjoyable. This is only four pages into the tale so I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes from here. A big improvement so far.

Now we go from the interesting to the outright murderous, right from the very first panel! Knowing this is a comic aimed at kids who were the same age as me at the time (that is, roughly ten-years-old or so) this is quite the shocking image from artist Francesc Masi when you turn the page. Any mystery behind whether The Doll would actually kill is wiped away here, but what’s even more shocking is the reveal in the second panel.

Initially, just for a second, I thought the fact it was just younger brother David Wickham was to alleviate the horror, but then I thought about it and it’s so much worse! David’s face says a lot about his state of mind and now that first panel is very clear in its intentions, finding out David was attached to the doll makes this all the creepier.

This is a particularly dark episode of the story. Hearing the commotion, their foster dad enters the room and David throws the doll at Simon for him to take the blame of rescuing it from the bin outside. Well, actually there’s a hint the doll may have leapt onto Simon by itself, but it’s deliberately not overly obvious. Uncle Frank understandably goes ballistic (see earlier reviews to understand why) and, grabbing Simon by the ear, marches them all to the fireplace and throws the doll into the flames. (The scene is completed with a tiny safety message from the comic.)

We know this won’t be the end though, and just a short while later a noise from the living room alerts the family and they find the doll has somehow fallen out of the fire. It would seem the fireguard wasn’t secured properly (or was unlocked from the inside) and the doll’s charred remains have set the carpet ablaze. Again, it’s all smoke (literally in this case) and mirrors.

The Marshalls’ teenage son Clive goes to lift the toy to throw it outside but burns his hand. However, David picks it up with ease, proclaiming Clive must’ve been “unlucky” and touched the wrong bit. Frank is furious, blaming Simon for everything and after the fire brigade have put out the fire he asks them to dispose of the “rubbish” that caused it. This leads on to the final page of the strip for this issue, in which a homeless man searching for scraps of food does so in the skip outside.

The individual events here might seem a little clichéd today but taken altogether they can make for a tense read. You also have to remember this was written in 1987 and for an audience who wouldn’t have been exposed to horror films yet. For all intents and purposes this was their introduction to the genre, and let’s make no bones about it, that homeless man has been murdered by the doll. Its capabilities are now very clear.

Two of the letters sent in by young readers were illustrated by Tom Williams which was quite the honour

That could be harrowing stuff for young kids and while I only read the first two issues (and the last) back then, what I read did frighten me. I don’t know what this chapter would’ve done, but I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed it. Oh, how the other kids in the playground loved being scared by this character. It was fun to be scared by a comic, knowing it was just that, a comic and we could stop at any time, close it and walk off. But we dared ourselves on and kept coming back.

Reader contributions were gathering pace with this issue. Not only was there a gallery page for drawings, A Letter From Spooks had a double-page spread. Two of the letters sent in by young readers were also illustrated by Tom Williams (Creature Teacher, Tiny Tycoon, Dandy and Beano Comic Libraries) which was quite the honour. One asked Mr Lucky to cast a magic spell for better weather, the other asked Rags to wrap up the reader’s school bus driver!

What could be better than seeing your idea brought to life by a pro and then receiving a fiver in the post for it? How about receiving a tenner in the post when one of Super Naturals’ writers and another pro comics artist turned your story idea into a full six-page strip? That’s exactly what happened for reader Tony Ashworth when his idea became the first to be used for the Scary Cat Challenge.

His Monster of the Lake is a basic tale but it’s well presented. It begins millions of years ago as a Tyrannosaurus rex and a Brontosaurus fight to the death atop a cliff face. Spanish artist Julio Vivas (Tammy, Jinty, Valentine) really exaggerates the creatures which, while they’re not for me, I’m sure young Tony appreciated. The Brontosaurus (which wouldn’t really have been a fighter like this) triumphs and the T-rex falls to its death beneath the waves.

Through some unclear imagery we surmise she was pregnant and for whatever reason the egg inside not only remains perfectly preserved as her body decomposes, but over millions of years grows to huge proportions. None of this is explained. But millions of years later is where we pick up the story when Lieutenant-Commander John Cartwright‘s nuclear submarine hits the giant egg and unleashes a T-rex upon his boat. Again, how did it survive in there? Who knows. It even absorbs one of the Commander’s missiles, then destroys the sub and kills all on board.

Eleven years later young Kevin Cartwright is being taken on a camping trip by his mum to the lake where his dad, John, died under mysterious circumstances. Yes, I wondered why they’d want to do that too. During the night Kevin is summoned by a mysterious voice telling him to walk to a certain cliff face near the lake. Sleepwalking, completely unaware of where he is or what he’s doing, he comes face to face with the dinosaur who lashes out at the young boy.


“I build the flames of my being to the strength of a thousand furnaces!”

Burnheart

But Kevin starts to emit a ghostly glow, startling the ‘rex who then topples over the same cliff as featured earlier. It’s a story full of plot holes but that could be more to do with it being based on a young reader’s imagination and I wouldn’t have cared at the time. But it does have some nice imagery in the latter pages, like the panel showing the passage of time after the sub is destroyed and the final image of father and son.

Much better is the final part of Mount of Athos, as ever drawn to epic proportions by Alan Langford. Each issue, the opening panels of this story have really drawn me in and this time is no different, with his superb depiction of Skull looking on as Burnheart transforms into living flame, ready to destroy the symbol of peace they’ve all been fighting over. It’s a dramatic opening worthy of the longest-running comics of the time, once again making me lament the fact this publication wasn’t to sit alongside them.

Just as Alan crafted his own version of Skull from the toy design, his Burnheart disregards the fiery face the toy’s action figure and shield had. It was never too obvious anyway and was a subtle face in the flames, but Alan instead opts for pure flame and I think it works so much better. It’s scarier to have pure fire, it feels more dangerous than a spooky face.

In this last chapter of the best licenced strip so far, it all boils down to a bit of quick thinking deception by Lionheart. First, Scary Cat transforms into her feline form (which last issue revealed was her true form) to take the container from him by force and once again Alan knocks it out of the park. A stray cat is no match against a lion and ultimately she’s thrown aside, so it’s only a small moment but I just love how it’s been drawn, particularly the attacking cat emerging from the disappearing form of the old witch.

He seems to particularly relish bringing the evil Super Naturals to the page and I hope, like editor Barrie’s Ring Raiders where the same creative teams would continue to bring each subsequent serial to life, that Alan returns for the next story. We’ll find out in a fortnight.

The battle has gone back and forth several times by this point over the issues, frustrating Lionheart so much he appears to suddenly lose it! Screaming at Skull and his henchmen for daring to challenge him he transforms into his lion persona and takes them all down in a wild fury. However, he knows this will only delay them, that the battle can’t be won and so in desperation decides on another way of getting the relic out of Skull’s reach, which involves a bit of trickery.

Hiding the actual contents of the casket under a heavy stone in the body of the monastery, he makes a run for it with the now empty canister. Apparently backed into a corner overlooking a cliff he has no option but to throw the canister over the edge into a vast forest below in a final desperate bid to push it beyond the reach of Skull.

Of course, it’s not a desperate bid and even getting cornered was deliberate. Skull and the others take off after the relics. There’s no longer a need to waste time by doing battle, they will spend their time hunting them down and destroying them instead, despite the size of the forest below. He questions Lionheart’s rationale and later we see him come to the realisation he’s been duped.

It’s a basic idea but it’s still early days for the comic and the character of Lionheart, however it’s great to see him beginning to grow beyond the simple fighting warrior. His character has just started to come through and I’m hoping we get to see more of it before we get to the end of the comic’s short run. The story itself has been a blast but it’s the imagery that will stay with me, with plenty of epic scenes and creepy imagery for fans to lap up.

With the back page competition being the exact same as the one in #1 all there is left to write about is the Next Issue promo.

The fifth issue gets a full page promotion because it’s the Christmas issue! Christmas editions of comics are always special, especially for me because I’m a huge nut for the season! Perhaps my comics really celebrating it helped form that part of me that I’d never grow out of. It looks like most of our stories are going to be festive entries too (even some of the serials which surprised me) and that front cover is another piece of Ian Kennedy gorgeousness. So, plenty to look forward to. After all, there’s nothing quite like good ghost stories at Christmastime.

The date on the cover is 26th December but it would’ve been released early because of publisher deadlines and limited opening hours for our shops. While the whole point of this site is to read everything in real time I’ve no way of knowing the exact date it would’ve arrived in my newsagent, so I’ll be sticking to the date on the cover. Come back on Boxing Day 2021 for the full review of Super Naturals #5.

iSSUE THREE < > iSSUE FiVE

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WiLDCAT #4: TREE-RiFiC FUN

I love this Ian Kennedy cover based on the Wildcat Complete tale inside. We’ve had deaths in pretty much every part of the anthology series so far, but this shows us there’s a ferocious animal-like killer on board, running rampant amongst the last several hundred humans in existence. The claustrophobic horror of being in that situation is perfectly captured here.

This issue we’ve got man vs dinosaur, alien vs murderous plants, woman vs robot men, man vs crazed newt and spacecraft vs Mr Hyde. So a busy issue of editor Barrie Tomlinson‘s creation then. We start off as always with Turbo Jones and the first page is no less thrilling than that cover. Turbo has decided he’s going to tame the untameable Terrosauron and over the course of the first couple of pages the huge beast underestimates the tiny opponent time and again. Using his small weapons in clever ways, Turbo manages to outsmart his opponent and soon he has his steed of choice.

The ‘Next Issue’ promo last time was just an image of The Great Ark, leader of the Arglons. It appears they were just one of a handful of animated corpses. A row of skeletal beings led by The Ark itself bark orders at their minions, killing one of their top military leaders for their apparent failure. Some close up angles of this council (like the one used for the promo a fortnight ago) show what look like mechanics behind their jaws. Could it be they’re all dead? Is this all going to lead to a Wizard of Oz moment later in the series? That’s my guess at the moment although I’ve no recollection of the story beyond this point.

From here the story cleverly flips back and forth between Turbo training the Burroid army and the Arglons using giant mantis-like creatures to dig a tunnel right underneath their enemy, straight to their capital city. There are no captions to explain the back and forth between the two scenes, which to be honest I’d have expected in any comic of mine from back then. But writer Barrie and artist Vanyo credit the kids reading with the intelligence to not need their hands held.

The cliffhanger sees giant cracks appear in the roads of the city and it feels like it’s all building up to an epic climax. It isn’t though. Each character’s story is one ongoing saga rather than being split up into smaller individual tales. So if they’d spent a year on this planet each character would’ve had a 26-part epic, which was an original way to go about things! The tension is building however and by the end of these five pages it’s palpable.

The tree is an alien being that plucked him off the ground and is now holding him hostage

Our pinup jumps from the back cover to page seven and this issue it’s my favourite character, Loner and his new found friends the little fuzzballs. Reading the black and white strip I (for some reason) made the assumption these little balls of fur were a sandy colour but here David Pugh has decided that’s not the case. More from Loner in a bit.

On to Joe Alien now, who we last saw stuck up a tree. Well, it’s a lot more dramatic than that. The tree is an alien being that plucked him off the ground and is now holding him hostage. Joe’s dislodged brain pack is in the hands of his teammates so he’s completely incapable of helping himself. But what about that rather horrific cliffhanger? It’s washed away with a quick douse in a nearby pool of water which luckily (as stated by one of the team) seems pretty normal for once. That is, until some form of seaweed starts to crawl out of the water and wrap itself around their limbs. It seems danger really is lurking everywhere.

Easily able to break free, they’re still at a loss over how to rescue Joe, precariously held high up in the air. To me, it looks like this tree could be planning on using Joe to communicate but maybe that’s the wrong assumption on my part, because his team obviously don’t agree. Their solution? Blow it up, of course.

As you can see it makes a piercing scream as it comes crashing down, so the silent killers from previous issues aren’t quite so silent after all. With his brain pack clicked back into place, Joe has had enough and orders them all to quickly retreat back to their shuttle and return to the Wildcat. This is no place for them to plant their feet (boom) and put down roots (boom, boom) but on their way back they hear another cry, this time a cry for help from deep within a hole in the ground.

What they see down the pit is a two-headed alien covered in bright blue feathers. Speaking our language (able to translate other tongues quickly explained as an ability of his race), Joe and his team set about freeing him from the roots that appear to have trapped him. I’ll admit alarm bells went off for me the second I saw this and it slowly dawns on the team all is not as it seems.

A line of huge trees marches up to surround them, seemingly to make a final stand but suddenly stop. Forming a wide circle around the landing party they just stand there, unmoving. The final panel shows our team looking out at the killer jungle, knowing something is wrong but they can’t quite put their fingers on it, while we the readers see the alien is but a suit and it’s being quietly ripped open. Inside, a few plants are playing the part! This is great fun.

This must mean they’re able to communicate properly (beyond painful screams) as they were able to impersonate this fictional alien creature and, maybe more importantly, decipher our language. Does this mean I was right when I guessed it looked like the tree earlier was attempting to use Joe to communicate? Out of all the strips so far this feels the most alien (suitably enough given its name) so kudos to writer David Robinson, although it’s in no small part thanks to the highly original artwork of Ron Smith.

I don’t quite know what to make of the Kitten Magee strip this issue. First up though, it begins with Kitten receiving the life dust from her robotic pet Crud via something beneath her collar. Whether it’s a device, an injection or an opening in her skin isn’t clear in the shadowy forest and I’m guessing it’s been left deliberately ambiguous by writer James Tomlinson and artist José Ortiz at this point, so hopefully a future issue will clarify.

So the tribes from previous episodes to whom Kitten proved herself by fighting their leader are now attacking her team, and to begin with we think it’s some form of mind control by the fat men hovering above. But when Kitten returns to rescue her teammates one of the aliens is blasted open and it’s revealed they’re actually robots. This is where I don’t know how to feel about it. At this point I had to remind myself this was the 80s, because having fully organic beings revealed as being robots on the inside is a cliché I’ve grown very tired of over the years. But this was written a few decades ago so I have to remember that context. But why would the fat men (one of whom gets the name ‘Hobos‘ this issue) go to all the bother of creating them?

When the innards are revealed all of the other machines stop, as if awaiting instructions. At this point Hobos is spotted and Bonnie tries to take out his hovercraft device with her sniper rifle. Fleeing, he flicks a switch and the tribesmen take to the air, their laser eyes firing upon the women while others take suicidal bombing runs. Where on Earth (well, not-Earth) did all of this come from?

At the time I can imagine I would’ve been thrilled with this sudden change to the situation, but now I found it a bit clunky. But that’s more the fault of the passing of time rather than the comic itself. So who is Hobos? Did his race create these robots? Or maybe they are sentient machines that have been hacked, which would be more original. Perhaps there’ll be some answers next time, although I’ve a feeling I’ll be left waiting for a while longer.


“I still have to go back upstairs and finish off that overgrown newt!”

Loner

There are a couple of interesting nuggets of story information in the Wildcat Time-Warp Data Link pages in response to readers’ letters. One asks how many people are on board since the terms “hundreds” and “over a thousand” have both been used by now and in reply we’re told that it was meant to be around 500 (in the preview it was over 700) but it became clear after leaving Earth an enormous amount of stowaways got on board. Was the number increased when they realised they’d want to kill off plenty of people in the stories (and had been doing so a lot already)? Interestingly, we’re told that, coupled with the animal and plant life, these stowaways have given Wildcat a total weight load far in excess of its original specifications. Will this be a plot point we’ll return to?

Begging for the hallucinations inside his mind to stop, Barrie Tomlinson‘s Loner agrees to the terms of the villainous lizard to track down the beast that poses a threat to him. Making his way into the depths of the caverns with the furry little ball creatures in tow, Loner wonders inwardly how he’s going to be successful when all he has is his six-shooter. A voice echoes in his mind, “We can help you” and he’s surprised to find that outside of the overgrown newt’s telepathic range these little critters can talk to him, and are intelligent.

Their backstory is that they were the pets of the people who once lived on the continent, content and happy with their existence and loved by their owners. But the people soon became obsessed with creating bigger and more destructive weaponry, their wars became deadlier and soon they had wiped themselves off the face of the planet, their pets hiding out in this underground world. What’s more, underneath the fur their flesh is poisonous, sending anybody stupid enough to eat them completely crazy, hence our giant lizard friend’s state of mind. (This is a much better development than humanoid robots.)

They lead Loner to a cave full of the weaponry they gathered and hid away from visitors after the last war. More than enough to see off the beast and free them all from the lizard toom but there’s a catch. The people of this continent had built weapons controlled by mental power alone, so in order to stand a chance Loner will have to undergo a transformation or the weapons will destroy his mind. As you can read above he isn’t keen but the furballs don’t give him any choice in the matter.

We’re left with this image of him screaming in agony as a warning rings out, “At the end, you will consider yourself quite monstrous!” I couldn’t remember anything about this but one look at the Next Issue promo at the back of this issue (further below) brought it all back. What I’ve particularly liked is seeing a slight softening of Loner as he begins to bond with the little creatures.

Boredom and the vast emptiness that surrounds them can, and will, have an effect on the human psyche

Every five-page chapter of this strip takes a big step forward in developing the story and when something this fun to read is all wrapped up in superlative David Pugh artwork it’s no wonder this was my favourite part of the comic. It’s hard to believe we’re only 20 pages in! I think of that thick trade paperback graphic novel collecting the entire Loner saga together and I can only imagine what will happen in all of those pages. I’ll be finding out the slow way.

I mentioned a fortnight ago how 11 people had already died in the pages of the comic and, although we now know there are more on board than originally thought, the Wildcat Complete on which the cover is based is called Death on Wildcat so I’m assuming the trend is going to continue. But first things first, has that picture of the Wildcat craft been pasted on top of the scene? It certainly looks that way. It could be because it looks like a special technique was used to draw the planet and its rings. It’s a lovely effect and then the spacecraft could have been drawn separately and placed on top. Works for me!

The artist hasn’t been confirmed but I believe it to be Enrique Alcatena‘s work, returning for the first time since the premiere issue’s ghosty story, this time with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Vampire Werewolf tale. The Duty Commander, John Anderson is getting a bit cocky with the fact no crime has been reported on board for weeks. (Obviously some time has passed since the last issue.) Now convinced Wildcat is a safe ship with a complete lack of lawlessness, his statement is predictably followed by an alarm.

The Chief of Security barely has a moment to explain how boredom and the vast emptiness that surrounds them can, and will, have an effect on the human psyche before they’re alerted to a murder on board. It’s a simple tale with obvious clues for the chief to follow and soon enough he’s tracked it down to Dr Timothy Lee who had been conducting experiments on animals back on Earth with the hope of creating an army of controllable killers. With Earth evacuated and all animals on board accounted for he had continued his experiments on himself.

The most interesting bits for me are the emphasis on just how fragile the peace is on the ship and the fact there are aliens already on board. They work alongside us, are part of the crew and are helping us navigate the galaxy in search of a new home. With the comic set in 2250 it’s not beyond the realm of believability that we’d have made contact with some races, although this is the first we’ve seen anything of them, when they’re the target of a crazed, bigoted killer.

Wildcat death toll: 14

That’s us for the first of three issues this festive season. The next is the Christmas one itself with a strange cover I clearly remember picking up from the shop. When you see it you’ll understand why it’s so memorable. How about a Christmas pudding wrapped around a spaceship? Think I’m joking? You’ll see.

Just to finish off this issue is the advertisement on the back page. Sharing these contemporary adverts is part of the fun of this site. This is the first time Wildcat has included one in its pages and it’s for a favourite childhood cereal (which I’ll admit is still bought from time to time today).

The special Christmas edition of Wildcat will be reviewed right here on Friday 17th December 2021.

iSSUE THREE < > iSSUE FiVE

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JURASSiC PARK #6: THE LOST WORLDS

By 1993 I’d moved on from comics into the world of computer games magazines, but when I saw that ‘Jurassic Park‘ title with that tagline peering over the other comics on the shelves I was quick to grab it! Previously put off by the movie adaptation, here was the first official continuation of the movie’s storyline. But there was more, beginning with that brill Walter Simonson cover! As I flicked through to get an idea of what it was about I noticed back up strips too. On first sight it felt like the Transformers comic I’d loved so much. I was sold and bought my first comic in over a year.

Of course this wasn’t to remain the official sequel for long. Just a few years later Michael Crichton would release his novel The Lost World and the subsequent film was based upon that. But the American Topps Comics was the first to do so and Dark Horse International published it here in a typical UK comic format, meaning they were chopped up into smaller parts and backed up with other strips following the central theme. To the uninitiated it might sound like this would drag a story out unnecessarily but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

UK readers were used to monthly stories from across the pond being split up in weekly or fortnightly comics out of necessity. This may have been a monthly but it still felt completely normal, it was just how things worked over here. Also, the Topps stories were split into mini-series with an unspecified gap between each so editor Dick Hansom‘s decision also made sense. If the comic had kept to this format a four-issue mini-series in the States could’ve lasted a full year over here. If the publishers themselves hadn’t gone bankrupt we could’ve had multiple years of Jurassic Park here.

The first thing this issue hits us with isn’t a comic strip but it still takes me right back. I may not have had a Sega Mega-CD (or any wish to own one) but I do remember the onslaught of new gaming consoles at the time, investing in the 3DO myself which I adored. My computer was the Commodore 64 but I loved reading up on the latest tech and the Jurassic Park game for the Mega-CD was completely different than all the others and looked like a proper adventure on the island. The constant hype for all these new machines was so exciting for me back then, like the future was arriving!


“That T-rex saved us from the ‘raptors! By the time we left Jurassic Park, I was almost — hell, I WAS in love with her!”

Dr. Alan Grant

So let’s get started with our three strips. While Dark Horse’s Aliens had various stories within that universe to pull from, joining the eight pages of Aftershocks (our main strip) here is the return of Xenozoic Tales (at ten pages) and new back up Age of Reptiles (at 12 pages). Yes, our main strip is shorter than the others but cliffhangers in all three had to be carefully chosen. With a unique dinosaur theme throughout – movie sequel set in the present, sci-fi action set in the far future and historical adventure set in the actual time of the dinosaurs – I never felt short changed and it never felt like anything other than a proper Jurassic Park title.

The first story begins with a narrative caption simply stating, “Three days later” above the body of a furious Tyrannosaurs rex. Writer Steve Englehart (The Avengers, Doctor Strange and creator of Star-Lord) was given free rein to develop the movie story as he saw fit, picking up the story with Dr Alan Grant and Dr Ellie Satler returning to Isla Nublar to supervise InGen‘s military-style cleanup operation. This already contradicts what came later (Hammond told us in The Lost World they’d been left alone) but let’s go with it as an alternative storyline.

We turn over to this great double-page spread above, narrated by Alan as he watches the ‘rex destroy jeeps, tanks and anything else thrown at her. She’s furious with her prey but Alan’s inner thoughts are ones of love, of being grateful that she saved all their lives. Her very existence in the modern world is a miracle and , just like in the novel and the film, even though he and Ellie are frightened they’re equally in awe of her.

InGen want to regain control, contain the animals and begin scientific experiments on them in an attempt to make back some of the money they’ve lost. They don’t want to reopen the park. A new character called Dr. Fischer is the face of the corporation. He believes Ian Malcolm‘s predictions were coincidence rather than proof of Chaos Theory and he makes it clear he stands for advancing the scientific community, rather than science itself, putting him at odds with Alan.

It’s a small slice of action but it’s a great start and thought provoking at the same time

There’s a hint in here too that the Velociraptors had managed to escape their enclosure earlier than we’d thought, because no eggs were found in there and we knew they were able to breed. This ties in with the book but not the film. In Michael Crichton‘s original story the ‘raptors were able to get in and out of their enclosure at will without the humans noticing. In fact, some had made it on to one of the boats for the mainland, which added more tension to Alan and the kids’ return to the Visitor Centre because they had to warn the boat before it docked. But in the film they clearly didn’t get out.

The art style is a world apart from what we had in the adaptation. Armando Gil (The ‘Nam, Savage Sword of Conan, The Punisher) brings a gritty, mature style to the art. His T-rex certainly looks the part, closely resembling the actual dinosaur and he really captures her size and power. (Also, an uncredited Dell Barras, see next issue’s review.) Alongside Armando comes letterer John Costanza (Green Lantern, Batman, Ronin) and colourist and story editor Renée Witterstaetter (Silver Surfer, The Sensational She-Hulk, Jason Vs. Leatherface) whose subdued colours suit the wonderfully scratchy artwork perfectly. It’s a small slice of action but it’s a great start and thought provoking at the same time. I like InGen’s desperation and the fact Dr. Fischer believes he’s right, that what he’s doing is for the greater good. I hope it develops these threads.

Carrying on the theme of not learning from past mistakes comes the first backup strip, Xenozoic Tales in which our hero Jack Tenrec finds himself at odds with the council and his new friend Hannah Dundee. Both his and Hannah’s tribes want to stop his campaigns against their poaching. But Jack is standing firm, knowing he’s baring witness to humans going back down the very same path that led to the cataclysm in the first place. Creator, writer and artist Mark Schultz has been very clear from the first chapter this is a story about the dangers humans pose to our world.

Benefactor is the seventh story in the series but only our third, something I went into more detail on last time. This could be because only some of the tales had been published in colour by this time, done so here by Christine Courtier. It ends with a cliffhanger for the first time and I remember these strange creatures from later in the run. Hannah has been sent to look for Jack after he’s stormed off. Using her tracking skills, unaware the council man who accompanies her is intending to kill Jack, she catches a glimpse of his Cadillac shining in the hot afternoon sun but gets more than she bargained for as she approaches it. The back-stabbing and the politics, wrapped up in an adventure in a land populated by dinosaurs is unique and really fun to read.

When I scanned over this issue in the newsagent’s my eyes lit up when I saw the final strip. I know it’s a cliché and an exaggeration to say “it took my breath away” but you’ll get my point. Set in the Mesozoic period it follows a pack of Deinonycuses and a T-rex family as they do battle after one steals the meal of the other. Created and intricately drawn by Ricardo Delgado and beautifully coloured by James Sinclair it contains no narrative captions at all. Everything is told solidly in pictures only, without even any lettered sound effects.

Ricardo is an artist working in the movie and television industries, whose credits include everything from The Real Ghostbusters and WALL-E to Jurassic Park III, suitably enough. James’ credits have also included Legends of The Dark Knight, Hellblazer and The Mask comics. Age of Reptiles was Ricardo’s first book in a series and hadn’t been released here yet when it became serialised in the pages of Jurassic Park, where it’s an even better fit than Xenozoic Tales for obvious reasons.

It tells an absorbing story through great art and wonderfully designed characters. The Deinonycuses kick things off by taking down their dinner, a giant Brontosaurus. Originally I thought these were Velociraptors until I read the catch up on the contents page of the next issue, although to be fair they are a very closely related species. I love how each one has particular markings and by paying attention to such things we get to know each one over the next few months. How Ricardo imbued each one with individual personalities through facial expressions and movements is simply genius.

They begin to feast but are rudely interrupted when a giant T-rex jumps on top of their prize and roars at them to back off. But they aren’t giving up so easily and one leaps in to slice at the bigger beast. The strip was quite gruesome and violent for the time and, while there’s nothing to put off younger readers yet, it will build upon this as the story develops. But it also had its lighter comedic moments, one of my favourites coming up right now. After the smaller dinosaur leaps and slices we turn over to be met with the page on the right below.

This still makes me laugh to this day. As the story develops we’d see an ever-increasing battle of revenge between these characters which would include ferocious fights, some tender moments and one surprisingly heartbreaking scene. Don’t believe me? You’ll just have to wait and see. It’s not an exaggeration to say it’s a thrill to be reading Age of Reptiles again after so long. The collected books go for silly prices online these days so I’m happy to wait and play the slow game with this serialisation. It’s worth the price of admission alone.

To finish off here’s a look at the advertisement on the back cover for the Jurassic Park videogame which was being released on a variety of platforms. It’s the tagline I love the most here. This was around the time Street Fighter II was everywhere (it would even be a comic advertised in these pages soon enough!), making this a brilliant piece of competitive marketing for the time!

I remember playing the Nintendo Game Boy version. Even though it didn’t follow the plot of the film at all and had Alan Grant out in the park collecting all the eggs with a gun, firing tranquillisers at all the dinosaurs as if they were all out to eat him, it was still a really fun game to play. Especially at night when I was meant to be asleep for school the next day, having to play it using that heavy, cumbersome light attachment on the supposedly handheld console.

This was a brilliant start to my Jurassic Park comics journey. Surely here was a title that I could collect without fear of it being prematurely cancelled? How could a comic based on the hottest thing on the planet be anything other than a runaway success for years and years? Well, if the comic had kept to this format and continued until the end of the US strips, those 19 American issues would’ve spanned a whopping 57 British editions over nearly five years! The next one is #7 and its review will be up on the blog on Tuesday 28th December 2021.

iSSUE FiVE < > iSSUE SEVEN

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