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Book Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

SLEEZE BROTHERS #4: OH, MOTHER!

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This cover perfectly sums up our inept private detectives from the far future of Earth and welcomes us to the first issue of the second half of The Sleeze Brothers’ run. Time is flying and soon we’ll be all out of misadventures for this duo, so I’m glad each episode has proven to be such a riotous, laugh-a-minute ride.

In this issue Mr. A. Mystery has invited the greatest detectives in the city to his outer space murder mystery weekend. Sam Spud, Vanity Case, Charlie Chin, Miss McMuffins and Mike Mallet are all present and correct as spoofs of the most successful fictional detectives. Plus the brothers have been invited too. While the rest enjoy first class snobbery, El’ Ape and Deadwood make the rocket journey in the cargo hold on their way to Norman’s Flotel, and if that name made me giggle to myself then the title spread made me grin from ear-to-ear!

It’s clear that the whole mini-series of six issues is going to be one pastiche after another. While the brothers were (as launch editor Richard Starkings admitted) heavily… ‘inspired’ by The Blues Brothers, it appears every other character, setting and storyline is a parody of some popular cultural icon or other. Well, as a huge fan of Psycho this one was right up my street as soon as it began, with the Bates Motel sitting atop an asteroid floating about in space. As you do.

Murder in Space is brought to us by the same crazy team of John Carnell (writer and co-creator), Andy Lanning (pencils and co-creator, as mentioned), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Helen Stone (letters), Steve White (colours) and Dan Abnett (editor), and this wouldn’t be the same if any one of them had been replaced by someone else. They are the perfect team for this comic!

So it’s The Sleeze Brothers does Agatha Christie meets Alfred Hitchcock and I can comfortably say this is the best issue yet. Not only is the subject matter right up my street but it feels like there’s two issue’s worth of gags squeezed into one and every single one of them lands. Every. Single. One. I’m not exaggerating here, folks. This is hilarious from beginning to end and even the inclusion of what could be seen as a somewhat problematic character today doesn’t detract, as long as you remember when this was written.

The Greebas are an alien race somewhat based on Asian stereotypes of the 80s, with ninja characters in previous issues and the ‘Charlie Chin’ detective here. There’s nothing in this or any other issue so far that pokes fun at any real ethnicity, indeed if anything they come across as aliens who have come to Earth and landed in a part of Asia instead of the clichéd American landings, and have simply learned to fit in there instead of, say, Los Angeles.

So, if you can ignore the very-80s clichéd name you’ll find they’re just another good natured spoof alongside the jokes taking aim at American capitalism, Western politics, US police corruption and the many, many other parodies you’ll see on every page. The characters end up gathered around a table watching a video of the mysterious person who has summoned them, who tells them it’s not a game; a murder is about to be committed and they have until morning to solve it, their very lives depending on it.

“Agghhh! Dieee chip-suckerrrr!”

El’ Ape reacting to a wine cork pop

The loudmouth American, Mike Wallet becomes so outraged that while confronting the spineless Norman Normaller the butler, Norman collapses to the ground, dead. This is one murder the butler didn’t do, as El ‘Ape tells us. There’s no sign of foul play, it’s like a switch had just been turned off on Norman. Then, one-by-one they all start dropping like flies. The film noir detective, Sam Spud (you can guess who he’s based on) croaks it next, poisoned by his drink.

In a particularly funny moment when El’ Ape is making some bad puns about the death, he’s acting all tough until it’s pointed out to him that he’s about to drink the same wine. After two murders right in front of his own eyes it takes things to (almost) affect him directly before he clicks there’s a murderer among them. They decide to split up, the Sleezes taking the wine cellar and one cork pop is enough for El ‘Ape above!

The searches are fruitless and as they gather together again the Greeba’s comment had me roaring. (I’ll be using that one whenever I can.) Concluding the murderer is one of them (hilariously described as “a detecticidal maniac”) they decide to go to their rooms to sleep for the night and all lock themselves in at exactly the same time. But in the morning someone has been hung in their room! A corny poem is left by the murderer at every crime scene and soon they realise they’ve only one option left and sit around a table watching each other until their shuttle back to Earth arrives.

With all the killing making her nervous, Vanity Case, the lady who the male detectives have all been drooling over, heads for the loo but after 20 minutes the remaining three start getting nervous themselves. Deadbeat kicks the door down and they find the room empty and another note. The Greeba panics and sprints to the nearest emergency escape pod which gets ejected from the hotel with a satisfying spitting sound effect.

There are only the Sleeze Brothers left and no murderer has been found, a fact that slowly (very slowly) seeps into El’ Ape’s brain when he finds what he thinks is a goodbye note. The over-the-top comedic guy and the straight guy routine works brilliantly here as one brother’s detective skills crumble (if he had any to begin with) leaving it to Deadbeat to offer up his own elegant solution.

When I turned the next page I saw a large panel with Vanity Case still alive and holding a gun over someone so I assumed for a second she must be the killer, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. There’s no way I could’ve predicted this ending.

So, she’s being held prisoner instead of being murdered because the killer fancies her, of course. We only see him in silhouette for a page or two and he says if any of the so-called “greatest detectives” even bothered to look for secret passages they’d have solved everything and he reiterates the “oldest trick in the book” gag from #1. At this point El’ Ape does indeed find a secret passage, although it’s by fumbling luck of course, and what do they find? Well…!

Nope, I didn’t see that coming! Even with the Psycho parallels, too. Taking the controlling nature of Mother to the extreme, this team’s creative imaginations are either sheer brilliance or evidence of some crazed minds. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. As for this issue’s conclusion, Norman hadn’t died, he’d been put in a comatose state by the “sharp mind” of his parasitic brother Jacques, but as the killer does the usual long-winded explanation (and El’ Ape doesn’t miss a beat with a “I had a hunch” moment), Norman begins to wake.

The ludicrous slapstick of it all is brilliantly realised, isn’t it? The skill of John’s script and the artists’ in bringing it to the page cannot be overstated. From the image of Norman and Jacques fighting it out to Vanity getting accidentally thrown to safety by a panicked El’ Ape, and of course the idiocy of Jacques getting so mad he kills the person in whose body he resides, then pleading with him not to die!

The story ends with El’ Ape and Deadwood thinking they’ve got it all sown up, including the reward. All they have to do is sit on top of the cupboard Vanity is stuck inside until the authorities arrive, explain they solved it all and collect their cash. Then we see the newspaper headline: “Vanity Unveils Vile Villain” and the brothers are back in the luggage haul of the rocket on their way home, only this time inside a wooden case. All that’s left is for El’ Ape to have the final, brilliant word.

What an absolute blast this has been! If you only ever pick up one issue of The Sleeze Brothers make sure it’s this one. Then again, I’ve yet to read the final issues, so maybe hang fire and see if anything trumps this one, although I can’t see how they could. However, after the laughs I’ve had here I won’t underestimate this team’s ability to outdo themselves yet again. The penultimate regular issue will be reviewed right here in only three weeks on Monday 21st October 2024.

iSSUE THREE < > iSSUE FiVE

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #3: SiGNED, SEALED, DELiVERED

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Before you ask, no I did not get this third edition of The Sleeze Brothers signed by co-creator and artist Andy Lanning. Clearly someone did back in 1990 but the only reason I got my hands on it was through a lucky find on eBay. So lucky in fact that the owner clearly didn’t know the cover had been signed, there was no mention of it in the description and I was able to get it for a pound or two. Bargain, and a unique addition to the collection.

Inside, you could say it was a brave or a risky decision in only a six-issue mini-series to have a story which hardly features our two lead characters at all. Personally, I don’t think it was brave or risky, it was done for one reason and one reason only: because it’s bloody funny. Over the first 17 pages of comic strip El’ Ape and Deadbeat only appear in a small panel at the bottom of four pages! But it works.

A vast array of brilliantly-named characters take the reigns of the story instead, from President Sinartra (son of an embryo farmer who has caterpillar tracks for legs and feet after an accident) and his mistress Marilyn Blondclone, to Man Hugh of the Human Liberation Front (he prefers his name to be reversed, to Hugh Man) and the local mafia head The Cosmos Father and his faithful fixer Caneloni. Then there’s the six-eyed Hairdryer, leader of the Galactic Investigation Bureau and his secret service agents Clint 116, Eastwood 244, Bronson 245, Nimoy 94 and De Niro 124.

The imagination on display here from writer John Carnell and of course penciller Andy is amazing. Stephen Baskerville’s recognisable inks and Steve White’s gorgeous, outlandish colours round off the art in superb fashion as they always do, however this issue’s story, Big Leap, contains more imagery and more written/drawn gags than ever before. Combined with Helen Stone’s letters and all edited by Dan Abnett, Richard Starkings having resigned, although he had commissioned the whole six-issue series. Credited as ‘originating editor’ here by Dan, according to Richard (thanks for leaving the comment!) he left very little to do. This truly showcases everyone’s talents and what Marvel UK was capable of.

Throughout, the Sleezes are sitting in their office waiting for the phone to ring on a quiet day in The Big Apple. Meanwhile, the H.L.F. have sent an alien (The Bugger) capable of rendering itself invisible into The White Wash (future version of The White House) with a little insect capable of recording video in order to catch Sinarta and Blondclone together in a tryst (hence the alien’s funny name). Their plan is to hold him to ransom for their demands.

Things of course do not go to plan and after the recording has been taken the actual bug itself (unaware it’s being used in this way, the recording capabilities are part of its natural evolution) is seen crawling away from his owner, who then ends up falling from the high perch he’d crept to outside the White Wash. Now, when I say it’s a high perch, I’m not kidding.

We’re told at the start of the story this is taking place at 09:00 and over the next few pages we see all the major players out after The Bugger and time creeps on in narrative captions to 09:20, 09:33, and 09:40. We assume The Bugger has met their grizzly end and these characters are rushing out to find the splatted corpse to retrieve the video. But nope, 46 minutes later we see a workman on the side of a building somewhere get a surprise.

This is a running gag throughout most of the story and it genuinely had me in stitches every time. In previous issues we’ve seen how this futuristic city was very much a spoof of Mega-City One from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd strips, and here the sheer size of the megastructures in that comic are taken to extremes. To say the least. So why is everyone clamouring to find the landing spot of this unfortunate clandestine individual?

Well, the H.L.F. want to get the footage they’ve paid for, especially since they’ve already given their (ridiculous) demands to Hairdryer at the G.I.B. The G.I.B. themselves want to protect the country’s leader. The cat-like Greebas, who have sent a ninja to retrieve the tape, have been secretly recording Cosmos Father and as a result now know about it, and the mafia leader himself intends to profit from bribery too. I’m guessing about the Greebas’ intentions because their alien language is never translated apart from the occasional funny word.

This is the moment the Greebas see, when we get an explanation from Caneloni about the bug’s natural recording abilities and why on Earth (or whatever planet they’re from) they have this ability. It’s just more evidence of John’s insane sense of imagination and fun, and we even get to see the end result of the “playback signals”, complete with a minute bucket of popcorn. Brilliant.

There are so many characters and interweaving plots the whole issue is completely chaotic in the best possible way. Despite it jumping from scene to scene and from one group to another incredibly quickly throughout, it’s always very easy to follow and you just go along for the ride, genuinely laughing aloud with every single turn of the page. There are some more subtle adult gags, a career snitch working for all sides who is nothing but professional and the inability of the deadly ninja to be taken seriously.

Some great examples there of the range of comedy in this issue. Soon (at 09:59 as a matter of fact) all of our main protagonists are gathered around the same building awaiting the arrival of The Bugger and their bug. Hugh Man, still living with his mum, is worried she won’t be happy at his failure despite being a sweet old lady, Caneloni fears for his life and in a hilarious nod to the actor, agent De Niro 124 has to convince Hairdryer who he’s talking to.

It’s only after this page that our comic’s namesakes finally take a leading role. Looking out of their window, El’ Ape thinks all of the people looking up at them means their adverts are finally paying off. That is, until their roof crashes in and a strange alien creature, dead from the impact, takes out El’ Ape’s brand new desk. Furious, his temper doesn’t improve when he takes a drink from their water fountain and discovers some form of insect has fallen inside.

Spitting it out and squashing it with his foot he has no idea of the significance of his actions. Not even when their door (and half their wall) is kicked in and the combined forces of the Cosmos Father’s Caneloni, the H.L.F., the G.I.B. and the Greeba all enter, weaponry at the ready. One look at the scene in front of them though and the whole string of plots come to a sudden, funny end.

I particularly like the third panel on this page with De Niro 124 saying with all sincerity that the destruction of the evidence of what the president was actually doing, and thus keeping his ability to lie about his scandalous relationship, will preserve truth and justice! Hugh Man heads home for tea, Caneloni’s time now seems to be short and the ninja Greeba utters one of the few English words they know.

More annoyed at the state of their office in the space of a few minutes than the fact they’ve a dead body and a bunch of crazies on their doorstep, El’ Ape continues to grumble until they check the news and see a reward for The Bugger. In the final panels, El’ Ape’s attitude predictably reverses and he congratulates himself and his brother for all their hard work in finding him!

I definitely would’ve been compelled to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue

Only appearing on four full pages and a few panels elsewhere hasn’t blunted the attraction of these two characters. They don’t even need to be the leads in their own comic to be able to steal the story for themselves and in doing so deservedly reclaim their lead status. These two are classic comics characters through-and-through and only three issues in they feel so well established that John and Andy can get away with a Sleeze-lite episode. There aren’t many characters that could get away with that so soon.

The issue ends with a floating Dalek staring down at the reader, weapon pointed and at the ready in an advert that really needed the magazine’s logo at the top. As much as I love the Daleks, this wouldn’t exactly have compelled me to fork out for the latest issue. What I definitely would’ve been compelled to do would be to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue. Luckily I already have and it’ll be up for review on Monday 30th September 2024.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #10: A STARK ENDiNG

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It’s been such a fun ride but all good things must come to an end (to use two clichés) and this is the final issue of Marvel UK’s Death’s Head, which came to an exciting end on this day 35 years ago when he clashed with Arno Stark, the Iron Man of (the then-futuristic year of) 2020. The cover is by regulars Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer, but for the strip itself Bryan goes it alone, with Euan Peters (Knights of Pendragon, Action Force, Transformers colourist/designer/editor) colouring behind Annie Halfacree’s letters, with Steve White editing and Simon Furman bringing it all to an end.

Not that the story reads like an ending. Strangely, even though the final issues of both Dragon’s Claws and Death’s Head were flagged as such in the editorial pages of Transformers, neither of their last editions actually said so, although with hindsight it’s clear the editorial team knew. While the Head Lines page still includes the “Subscribe Now!” banner it’s followed by a glimpse of Death’s Head crossing back over into Fantastic Four after they’d appeared in #9. It’s clear this is telling us where we can see him now that his comic is over, but at the time it could easily be mistaken for a regular plug for a crossover before #11.

Now trapped in 2020 (what a year to be sent to!) Death’s Head is making the most of things and business is good. In fact, in a turn up for the books, for once the far future dystopian time of the comic (8162) actually has less crime than 2020 according to our main character. So he can afford to be choosy. As such, he’s suspicious about his latest client. But first, let’s check in on our special guest.

Both of Iron Man of 2020’s stories so far were selected as back up strips in Marvel UK’s Transformers comic

So who is the Iron Man of 2020? Arno Stark may have inherited Stark Industries but he’s no hero. Instead, he uses the suit in his role as a mercenary for hire for individuals and sabotage for corporations. This was his third appearance in Marvel comics. The first was in the rebooted Machine Man of 2020 mini-series where the old tech of Machine Man won over the futuristic Iron Man thanks to his having a good heart.

Then in Spider-Man, in a plot I won’t go into detail about Arno travelled back in time to 1986 to avert a disaster involving his home city, his business and his family. But his means of doing so put him at odds with Spidey, who defeated him. Upon returning to the future his entire city had been destroyed, taking his family with it. In a surprise turn, we were left feeling sorry for him. Both of these stories were selected as back up strips in Marvel UK’s Transformers comic.

There’s no mention here of the events in the Spider-Man strip but he is in New York, a different city than normal so it would seem to follow on after it. In the opening pages we find out he’s been hired to protect some foreign dignitaries. The only thing is, they don’t seem to understand why; they haven’t hired him and say they aren’t in danger. Some hitmen do turn up and Arno kills them all very easily, after being told to take no prisoners. But something doesn’t sit right with him about the job.

We then take a trip to a large mansion somewhere and a very rich man by the name of Chance and his English butler Athey have been watching the events pan out. In fact, their conversation has acted as a running commentary over the opening pages. They’re part of The Dicemen, a group who appeared in various Marvel comics although there’s little information about them online. They’re basically a bunch of rich elites who like to play games with other people’s lives.

One hard and fast rule of The Dicemen is to never use the same players twice, but Chance thinks there’s more fun to be had in using Iron Man again, especially when Athey shows him a news report of Death’s Head taking down some local warlords. The game is on. Athey will approach both of them, Death’s Head for a hit and Arno as the protector. Then, after eight pages of strip in his own comic it’s time for the Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent to finally make his entrance.

That reminds me of something we’d have seen from RoboCop. I love it. This criminal group have kept a young child hostage for a ransom and Death’s Head easily disposes of them, partly thanks to a collapsing ceiling in the middle of the fight. After seeing him rescuing another young boy last month and how he speaks to this child does our anti-hero have a soft spot we didn’t know about? I do like how the kid is seen playing with his face spikes as they exit the building together.

Arno isn’t the only one suspicious of the job he’s been given. Death’s Head’s inner thoughts betray what he really thinks about Athey after he’s hired to kill two diplomats and given half the large fee up front. It all seems too easy. So both men have been hired and in the middle of a shopping mall the diplomats are arguing with Iron Man that they didn’t ask for, nor need protection as he pushes them into a lift, and it’s time for Death’s Head to tell someone else to talk to the hand.

The fight scene is classic Death’s Head and classic Simon Furman, with the quips matching the violence panel after panel. But Arno is deadly serious and the anger he feels at being potentially set up is taken out on the mechanoid as he blasts them both into the night sky, shouting that he won’t let him butcher innocent people in what feels like (when reading this fully, in context) that he’s trying to convince himself he’s actually doing the right thing. It’s actual character development from someone who only cared about money before. It seems losing his family has brought out his better side.

Then we turn the page to this spread below which contained a genuinely shocking moment had the front cover not used it to promote the story. You can’t really blame them though, of course they were going to use it. Although, from the speech balloon on the cover I thought Death’s Head had taken over Iron Man’s suit somehow, so I was initially a bit disappointed I was wrong in that conclusion. That disappointment soon turned to laughs when I saw what happened next though.

Again his hand is used as a great gag and over the next page or two Death’s Head tells Arno that he believes him and agrees that they should work together to get to the bottom of who has used them, however he’s still angry with him and just has to work that out of his system first, by beating seven shades of blue out of him. Then, clipping his head back into place like a Transformer Headmaster he’s able to detect a camera filming them for Chance and locates the signal controlling it.

Cue a few pages of Chance panicking before Athey, a long time loyal member of The Dicemen himself, shoots his boss point blank in the face and sets the scene up to look like a suicide. He leaves their money in cash so as to trick Death’s Head and Iron Man into hanging around, but they soon pick up a detonation signal and narrowly escape the destruction of the mansion. Then it all very suddenly ends in two panels.

This is directly after the explosion panel. It feels very cut down and a bit of a rushed ending, making way as it does for two pages of panels with yellow borders, telling of how Spratt arrives in 2020 and crashes Death’s Head’s ship, somehow bringing Big Shot with him who takes up the final splash page, coupled with a Happily Ever After caption! While this may have been the original cliffhanger taking us to #11, the rushed ending with Iron Man makes it seem like this whole section was added in at the last minute. But why do this for the final issue?

It’s not how I expected it to end. Yes, Death’s Head has been a surprising comic on many occasions but I did expect something along the lines of how the final chapter of Dragon’s Claws wrapped things up satisfactorily while leaving things open-ended. Was the chop brought down suddenly on the writer? It’d explain why the secretive woman hinted at in the last couple of issues isn’t mentioned, the mystery not revealed, actually not even acknowledged here. That’s incredibly annoying. But perhaps there’s hope in a graphic novel to come. More on that below.

There’s a bit of a dig at those
high up in Marvel UK

After the strip comes the Head to Head letters page and a chance for the comic to throw out more hints that this is the final issue. Perhaps there were instructions from on high to not mention the end for some reason. Perhaps they didn’t want potential buyers flicking through the pages, realising there’d be no more and not buying it. Whereas, mentioning it in stablemate comics may lead those readers to part with their pocket money for a collector’s final issue. This is all speculation of course.

However, as you’ll see there’s a bit of a dig at those high up in Marvel UK in the answer to the first letter. For the second letter, in response to a lack of free gifts the reader is told to go and check out a different comic, but the most obvious (again, with hindsight) hint comes at the end of the response to the final letter. It was always annoying when a comic just stopped without telling us, so kudos to the team for trying to tell the readers without really telling them.

So what’s next for Death’s Head on the blog? Is that the end of it? Not quite. After his original series he popped up in a serialised story in Strip (between #13 and #20) which was then collected in graphic novel The Body in Question. Given the real time nature of the blog you can expect that in October next year. It’s a long wait for me but I set these rules so I must follow them. I can’t wait to read it though. Will I be covering his return as Death’s Head II and III? Let me finish his original timeline first and we’ll see what the future holds.

After that frustrating ending I really can’t wait for the graphic novel to see if any further questions are answered. If they are that would explain some things about this issue. Don’t tell me if you know though! I’ll find out next year. This series has been a blast from beginning to end. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to read his own comic after I enjoyed him in Transformers decades ago, but Death’s Head was certainly worth the wait, yes?

iSSUE NiNE < > THE BODY iN QUESTiON

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #2: ViSiON PROFESSiONALS

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Between the 80’s 3D movie craze and the 90’s fascination with labelling videogames as “interactive movies”, this second edition of Marvel UK’s (under their Epic imprint) The Sleeze Brothers feels perfectly of its time. Written by John Carnell, it’s also perfectly timed for this blog too, given the other classic comic I reviewed the second issue of just six days ago.

The creative team all return this issue. Co-creator Andy Lanning is pencilling, Stephen Baskerville is inking, Steve White is colouring, Bambos Georgiou is lettering and Richard Starkings is editing. With this being a pre-determined mini-series of six issues I’m assuming the whole of the original team will be present and correct for the remaining issues. I certainly hope so. So, on to that opening page and by coincidence it pastiches the movie last week’s comic review was based on.

In a nutshell, the Nexus Infinity Broadcasting network (whose ‘N.I.B.’ logo design is a lot like the Men In Black movie logo, even though this comic came first) is run by The Reverend Smiler While, a man whose grin could give The Joker a run for his money. He’s selling the latest in TV tech, a system that allows the viewer to be completely surrounded by their programmes.

But this isn’t just all-encompassing video, there’s something much more dangerous at play here that makes it the perfect idea for an out-there Sleeze Brothers plot. We get to see the scale of the outfit in question when Smiler hires the brothers and they head to the N.I.B. headquarters in all of its 80s futurism glory. There’s even an Orson Welles-spoof character inside. As a fan of his movies and of course his War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and after the Aliens opener, was this issue made specifically for me?!

The faceless board members are perfect too. But all is not well. It appears Orsum Wurlds isn’t the fantastic creator he thinks he is. In fact, it appears he’s taken more credit than he was due. Is this a take on the behind-the-scenes controversy over the writing of Citizen Kane? Perhaps, but this goes further and has the original creator of the Reel-to-Real technology (a brilliant name) steal the master tape and use it in place of the one selected for broadcast.

The reel is full of test films that produce somewhat severe end results, showing how dangerous the tech is, it’s something N.I.B. want kept secret. Having just experienced a demo of the new Apple Vision Pro in my local Belfast store this comic suddenly feels decades ahead of its time. Although I doubt Tim Cook would want people to experience their immersive videos to this degree. So, after the very rich customers set up their Dalek-like devices, our first family settle down to watch a classic sci-fi flick.

After Star Wars, another family find themselves and their couch on thin ice between Bambi and Thumper with predictable results and then a customer experiences an underwater documentary and finds themselves in deep water… and unable to breathe. Our inept detectives’ case has evolved from theft to multiple homicides and as they make their way through the network’s headquarters the two-pig-headed chief of police spots them and calls out in a way that shocked me, with a sudden use of the ‘r’-word.

Okay, so this was written 35 years ago, a time when unfortunately the weight and real meaning of that word could be brushed aside for the sake of a name-calling joke. However, there’s only so much that can be brushed aside with “it was a different time” and yes, attitudes have thankfully changed for the better, but even in the 80s I remember being taught it was an abusive term and never acceptable. Perhaps for some people it was still a joke term separate from the hateful meaning. I’ll just have to believe that and continue with the rest of the issue. I know there’s simply no way it was meant in any other way by John, or by Marvel UK.

As per usual the brothers getting to the bottom of a case is more down to luck than any sort of detective work. Our thief overhears them interviewing Orsum Worlds, mistakenly thinks they’re on his tail and comes to the conclusion that he’ll just have to get rid of them before they do. He simply calls them up and gives them a meeting time and place which is clearly a trap. But it gives El’ Ape a chance to look good in front of Deadbeat in this funny bit above.

Heading to the research lab at midnight they find themselves in the spotlight, quite literally as Baird (our thief) blinds them with a studio light and starts shooting at them. El’ Ape’s pleading on his knees doesn’t help matters and neither does the dim-witted cleaning assistant who thinks they’re filming a cops and robbers film and decides to get comfy in the control booth, accidentally activating the Reel-to-Real system with all three of the others inside it!

Cue a selection of cameos in what I’m assuming are some of John’s favourites, beginning with Indiana Jones and Tom & Jerry. In the former they just about escape getting crushed by the famous boulder before almost dying at the hands of Baird and some local tribespeople. Then the machine (under the weight of the cleaner’s elbows as he leans in to see what will happen next) turns them into cartoons.

Just as Michael Jordan found out in Space Jam in the next decade, being in a cartoon means your body can be contorted into all sorts of shapes without breaking a single bone. After being flattened with a frying pan by a somewhat creepy version of Tom it’s almost curtains for them again until the master tape whirrs into action once more, then they find themselves stuck to a wall in a rather familiar fashion. And in front of some rather familiar eggs.

So we find ourselves back where we began. Normally I’m not a fan of stories that have an exciting opening, like it’s the starting point of an equally exciting story, only for it to go back in time to see how we got to that stage instead. But this is one of those rare occasions where I haven’t minded it and I’ve enjoyed the ride for the most part, eagerly anticipating this moment returning.

So how are they going to get out of this situation? The Aliens movie plays out for longer than the others so it appears our gormless cleaner isn’t going to be of any accidental help this time. But as they duck for cover underneath a floor grill it becomes clear this is going to play out like the conclusion of the film, so I really should’ve been a Sigourney Weaver-shaped cameo coming.

Well, okay, not exactly playing out like the film. I definitely laughed at that. So with Baird reduced to a puddle in real life too the case is officially closed. But what of the technology? That master tape may not have been the one meant for broadcast but it showed how dangerous the system is, and all in the name of profit. The issue ends with a news bulletin wrapping everything up and successfully placing none of the blame on the network, all before the issue comes to an end with a quick commercial break (below).

I do love this ending. It’s deliciously dark after what has been an even funnier issue than last time. The Sleeze Brothers themselves are more part of an ensemble rather than the stars of the show but it works, the balance between comedy, commentary and character perfectly balanced. It shows these six issues have the potential to produce six very different stories and keep everything fresh and funny until the very end.

We’ll see if I’m right on Monday 26th August 2024 when the review for The Sleeze Brothers #3 hits the blog.

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #9: HEAD WiTH A HEART

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With a cover by none other than the legendary Walt Simonson (Thor, Star Slammers, Jurassic Park) and Mark Farmer, the penultimate issue of Death’s Head contains no official warning that the comic was about to come to an end. There’s a bit of a hint on the editorial page which has a ’Next Issue’ panel in place of the usual subscriptions offers, not that readers at the time would’ve picked up on this as they’d have been too excited at the prospect of our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent meeting Iron Man next month.

After a price rise last issue we got another one this month too, by 5p again. I remember the second half of 1988 and into 1989 my comics always seemed to be increasing in price, such were the struggles of an industry at a time when readerships were declining in the face of competition from television and computer games while production costs were soaring. Death’s Head would become a casualty of these changes soon enough but let’s enjoy the issue at hand first.

The editorial describes how last month The Doctor dropped off Death’s Head in the middle of Earth’s Dark Ages, which is actually 1989. Given writer Simon Furman‘s Dragon’s Claws took regular swipes at the 80s UK government (in the comic’s future vision of Britain) this could be more about accuracy than a quick joke. Simon is back after a month away from the comic and co-creator Geoff Senior finally makes a very welcome return as artist.

I didn’t even know the big rock guy
is the leader!

As you can see The Fantastic Four are the special guests this month. I’ll admit this is the first comic featuring them that I’ve ever read. I’ve never seen an issue of theirs and never saw the cartoons as a kid or any of the movies, so I really am going into this blind. I didn’t even know the big rock guy is the leader! It starts off very light-hearted with The Thing and The Human Torch bickering in a very superhero way.

Clobberin’ Time continues new editor Steve White’s brief time behind the wheel, with regulars Louise Cassell and Annie Halfacree on colours and letters respectively. That title soon becomes tiresome though. I understand it’s The Thing’s catchphrase but he uses it so frequently I feel like shouting, “Okay, okay, I get it, kids are meant to be copying him!” at the pages. Perhaps this is keeping within character but it’s just so annoying. What is good is the funny moment this sequence ends with, where it looks like they’ve made up.

Meanwhile, up on the roof someone isn’t too happy at being dropped off in the wrong time again, much like how he ended up in 8162 in the first place, even if he did settle in there and made it his (lucrative) home. However, not only is he out of time he’s also in precisely the wrong place as The Fantastic Four’s security system automatically opens fire. I have to say for the good guys their security system is very much shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later. Although it does lead to a laugh or two thanks to Death’s Head quips and his long-running bad luck.

Their building is a bit naff though, as huge holes are blasted open and its roof is destroyed as the automated weapons try and fail to take down Death’s Head. You’d think their HQ’s walls would be a bit more secure, that they’d stand up to their own security. But it’s all a bit of daft fun so we’ll not get caught up in the details (this isn’t Twitter). Using his rocket boots to fly through one of the aforementioned roof holes he finds himself in what could be described as their garage, full of hi-tech gadgets and transport.

Convinced this level of tech on 1980s Earth could mean they’d have access to a time machine, Death’s Head thinks aloud, “Just hope they’re nice, sane, normal people…” when he gets a rock hard tap on the shoulder. Meanwhile, back in the Los Angeles of 8162 Spratt is still fighting with their pet vulture (see #5) and takes another phone call from the mysterious woman in previous issues who’s been proclaiming she’s his business partner’s love. This time we also see part of her attire.

I’m still none the wiser although I’m assuming she must be a known character, given how she’s slowly being introduced. The Evil Dead’s Death Nell? If you remember the identity of the caller please don’t tell me in a comment or on socials; no spoilers! Hopefully I’ll find out in our final issue. As for this special crossover event it boils down to The Fantastic Four’s not-so-fantastic security program going rogue and dispatching a hovering droid to see off everyone.

At the beginning of the issue Reed Richards is working on one of the computer chips powering it and he was interrupted by the infighting, inadvertently making a mistake and corrupting the programming. At least this is the suggestion that’s thrown out by Reed, it’s never actually confirmed. With their bickering and the over-zealous zapping at Death’s Head having destroyed a lot of the building, it goes into full defensive mode.

During a protracted fight between the team and their new visitor it becomes clear that Death’s Head’s supposed fighting back is a case of mistaken identity. It was actually the computer attacking them but they were too busy assuming it was Death’s Head that they didn’t see the obvious. Between these reactions and the way their system was programmed I don’t have much faith in this superhero if my first impressions are anything to go by.

Eventually they calm down and think rationally, realising they need to team up with this comic’s lead character when Reed and The Invisible Woman’s child is put in danger. With Death’s Head being a mechanoid and able to hack the system that’s trying to kill them, soon it comes down to our ruthless hunter of bounties (I didn’t say it), a paid assassin, a mech programmed for self-preservation, to rescue a child.

The droid has handcuffed itself to the young boy in his bedroom, coldly using him as a bargaining chip. Now, our anti-hero isn’t exactly known for being subtle. Clicking a laser cutter onto his arm to snap the connection to the boy he leaps into the room and actually ends up damaging the droid and setting off its self-destruct! For a brief moment we see the Death’s Head we’d expect to see if this were any adult human, but it appears there’s a glimmer of a soul behind the facade.

That third image says it all and with the constant countdown you can feel the palpable sense of desperation in that penultimate panel. Superb, exciting stuff that Geoff’s penmanship is just perfect for. This may be the printed page but somehow he’s always able to make his art feel so animated when the script calls for it. After the umpteen pages of fighting earlier in the comic, after the build up in the story prior to this, this is single-handedly the most dramatic and exciting moment.

The panic it sets off is key to what’s next,
the story for our final issue

Yes, Death’s Head had to save the kid in order to gain access to their time machine but you can tell that’s not the reason he put his own life at risk. Ultimately though, this brave and heroic moment earns him the trust of The Fantastic Four and they set up their machine to take him back to 8162, a device that transports him in a green bar of energy from the feet up.

As he disappears, The Thing tells him that he had him all wrong, that the mech must be “what passes as a superhero in 8162”, to which Death’s Head tells him no, he was right all along. He then finally introduces himself by name and tells them what he does for a living…

This was a suitably funny final line for the character and the panic it sets off is key to what’s next, the story for our final issue. Back in the earlier days of reading Marvel UK’s Transformers for the blog’s Instagram the Machine Man of 2020 back up strip introduced a future-version of a certain main character in the publisher’s lineup. The hero’s identity had been completely taken over by another person. In the year 2020 Iron Man was no longer Tony Stark, he was Arno Stark.

No longer a hero, the Iron Man of 2020 was a mercenary-for-hire (which should make things interesting next month) and after being defeated by Machine Man he reappeared in a Spider-Man comic (also published in Transformers) when his family were held hostage by a killer and he had to travel back in time for the story’s resolution. The story ended in disaster, with Arno losing and seeing his city of the then-far future destroyed. His next appearance after that was in #10 of Death’s Head.

I knew Iron Man was to be the special guest star in the final issue but I had no idea it was this version and I’m super excited to see what happens. I really loved his two stories in Transformers. He was clearly the bad guy in his first appearance and for all intents and purposes was exactly the same when he returned. He was forced into a position of doing the right thing but in doing so went up against an actual hero, so young readers’ loyalties were tested. It made for fascinating reading.

I’m hoping for more of that kind of storytelling in Death’s Head next month. The pieces are certainly in place for an explosive finale and a suitably powerful send off for what has been a brilliant comic series. If it’s as good as it has been so far, and as good as those Iron Man of 2020 appearances were, then it’ll certainly take the edge off having to say goodbye. The final contract is on Monday 5th August 2024, right here.

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