I really do enjoy this series, a lot of the advertisements featured so far have taken me right back to my youth (which was a long, long time ago now), but I’ll admit the promotional pages contained in this fifth part didn’t result in any purchases or gifts for me in the 80s. That’s not to say they don’t bring back certain memories, though.
In the 80s there was one teeny, tiny little thing that made a huge impact on our daily lives, despite the fact we rarely saw it. From toys to VCRs, from washing machines to the explosion of home computers that entered our homes. It could even be found resting on our wrists. That little, unassuming thing that hid inside more and more of the devices we used was, of course, the microchip.
It’s something that links all of our adverts, too. Beginning with Casio’s watches containing those elaborate stopwatches! Don’t laugh, I remember being very jealous of a friend who had a digital watch that recorded lap times, even though I’d no need for such a feature. Remembering my own basic watches of the time and seeing Michael Knight talk to K.I.T.T. through his, every time I use my smart watch today I feel like I’m living in some sci-fi future.
It’s not only the passage of time and the leaps in technology compared to the 80s that’s making me feel old. I think the fact the next item sounds so absolutely horrific is because I’m now a boring old fart. As a kid I may have gotten about ten minutes of fun out of a keyboard that used sampled sound effects from around the house to produce “music”, but as an adult I can think of nothing worse than this thing.
As it’s nearly Christmas, I’m reminded of a scene in my favourite Christmas movie, Fred Claus. At one point Santa’s brother, who is desperately trying to avoid anything to do with the season, is subjected to a taxi ride with a radio station playing nothing but Jingle Bells with the notes replaced by cat meows and dog barks. It’s horrific! That’s essentially what this keyboard is.
Much better for the kids would’ve been a real keyboard on which they could learn to play actual music and up stepped Yamaha who ran these next two ads over a handful of OiNKs. The Starmakers would’ve appealed because the reason behind it is right there in the name; let’s buy our child this so they can learn to play proper music, become famous and support us later in life. Well, maybe not. But you get my point. I do like the ads though, especially the guitar-shaped one, it’s so very 80s.
I remember a friend of mine in high school was incredibly talented musically. He could literally listen to a tune once or twice and play it back on a piano. He also had two huge Yamaha keyboards in his bedroom and I sat in awe one day as he spent no more then three hours one Saturday afternoon turning the Airwolf theme tune (which wasn’t sampled, he played it from scratch) into a dance track. He should’ve released it!
In the later weekly editions of OiNK an advert appeared for a new computer game and its release confused me at the time. I was aware of The Three Stooges and I think we all saw the odd live-action or animated clip growing up, but I always felt their humour was too old-fashioned for me. So I didn’t understand why they were suddenly appearing in a computer game for us young ‘uns.
I must’ve been an outlier though because apparently the game was very popular, doing well enough to be adapted to consoles such as the GameBoy Advance in the next decade. Throughout the 80s VHS collections of their TV shows were also released and an arcade game was revealed in 1984, followed up with this for home computers. In the game the Stooges had to partake in odd jobs to raise money to save their local orphanage.
Given how outdated I personally felt their humour to be as a young boy I was even more surprised to see some gloriously illustrated strips appear in two issues of OiNK. Co-editor Patrick Gallagher has confirmed these were exclusive to OiNK and were made to tie in with the release of the game. It’s not the comic’s fault I never got on with the Stooges’ humour, a lot of people loved them and I’m sure many enjoyed the strips so I’m glad these little oddities exist, especially as they give us a reason to enjoy some more art from the incredible Malcolm Douglas (aka J.T. Dogg).
The final advert for an electronic piece of entertainment wasn’t an advert in the traditional sense but rather a promo OiNK pieced together to tell us about the free comic sitting inside the pages of Crash magazine on our newsagents’ shelves, as well as the comic’s own computer game of course. You can check out the free comic, the special feature inside that issue of Crash and the game itself in a special section of the blog devoted to the game.
The rise of the microchip and computerised technology in the 80s was a wonder to be a part of, especially at such a young and impressionable age. I’ve stared in wonder at my friend’s very young kids and how quickly they’ve grasped iPads and iPhones and I think I now know how my own parents felt four decades ago!
Right, so we’ve only one more part of this series to go, in which I’ll be rounding up the leftover miscellaneous ads from the pages of OiNK. Look out for that in 2026.
Ham Dare, Pig of the Future makes the cover of OiNK for the first time and it’s only taken for the comic’s cancellation for it to happen! I’d always assumed he’d made the cover each time he returned to the pages of OiNK since his stories were such big events, so it was a surprise to find out this was the only time. The OiNK Holiday Special 1989 is the third spring/summer edition and was promised to us way back in October the previous year when Uncle Pigg made that fateful announcement in the final issue.
It’s been a long time coming but it’s finally here (in fact work began on it so far in advance of its publication, as per usual for special and annuals, we’re treated to the lovely original logo), although it’s a bit of a strange one and feels much more like the next monthly issue than a holiday special. Not only did the monthlies have the same amount of pages as the specials, this one is clearly made up of content that went unused after the comic was cancelled rather than brand new material. So there are no themed summer holiday stories and one Rotten Rhyme even mentions Christmas approaching. As an adult some other things stand out by their very absence.
“Slap my snout and call me Porky – there’s something dashed odd going on around here…”
Ham Dare (Lew Stringer)
With Tom Thug and Pete and his Pimple having made the leap over to Buster they’re nowhere to be seen here, although thankfully their creator Lew Stringer is still on hand to write the wonderful Ham Dare story. Although, OiNK favourites not contributiung this time out include Ian Jackson, Jeremy Banx and David Leach among others, so there’s no Burp, Hadrian Vile or Psycho Gran. But let’s not dwell, let’s concentrate on what is here and start off with that headline act.
Dynasty of the Dinosaurs was originally written by Lew and drawn by the incredibly talented J.T. Dogg for OiNK way back when it was a weekly, believe it or not. The monthlies may have been twice the size but there were three less issues in an average month so there must have been a lot of leftover material from the weekly comic. As such, Ham Dare is presented in its original five individual chapters, each with their own very unique cliffhanger.
The story follows on from the one in The OiNK! Book 1988 over a year ago and sees our hero and his (and I quote) “chubby sidekick” Pigby go through some sort of space disruption and apparently land on another planet, a planet inhabited by English-speaking dinosaurs in tight flight suits. It’s already way out there and has all those knowing nods this wonderful Dan Dare spoof revels in, but then we get to that final panel above and the plot of this serial reveals itself.
Ham sums up the mystery in one handy speech bubble, complete with a typical Pigby response and then hilariously gets away with one of his trademark silly ideas. Although, this time it actually makes some kind of sense. Or maybe I’ve just been reading OiNK for too long. The main dino dude is called Bad Rep and he explains that Earth is known throughout the universe as the most evil planet in existence.
Then this very funny spoof suddenly poses an ethical question
Of course the Meekon has to be behind everything and as he hovers in his frying pan he does what all good baddies (if that’s not a contradiction in terms) do in classic action strips and explains the whole plot to our heroes. I remember being absorbed by all of this as an 11-year-old, having learned about the extinction of the dinosaurs at school and seeing it all turned on its head in typical OiNK fashion. As an adult it’s just as entertaining.
In the penultimate chapter Pigby’s umbrella makes for a quick escape as well as a couple of puns and we get to see how Earthlings are seen across the galaxy. But it’s not just the T-rex causing problems, Ham and Rigby come up against Triceratops and others, who Ham thinks aren’t a threat because they were vegetarian dinosaurs… before he gets a clobberin’. Then this very funny spoof suddenly poses an ethical question.
This reminds me of the Fourth Doctor posing a similar one when he was given the chance to wipe out the Daleks before they were even created. It leads nicely on to the final double-page spread and a moment that struck me as a kid and which, as with the best moments of OiNK, has stayed with me in my head ever since. These are usually comedic moments but in this case it’s something more profound.
Beginning with a nice reference to Dan Dare’s creator and original artist in the title caption, we get more silliness and an overly-easy resolution by Ham as always (who remains cool as a cucumber throughout) before we see something he doesn’t; we see the results of him putting everything back the way it was. It’s this moment involving a dinosaur mother and her child that provided a surprisingly tender moment and pulled on the heartstrings of readers. Knowing it was coming this time around doesn’t make it any less so either.
In an interview with Dan Dare fan magazine Spaceship Away, Lew said about this scene, “Having mainly written and drawn basic slapstick comedy before I welcomed the opportunity to write something with a bit more depth. People have said to me they found the dinosaur extinction scene to be quite harrowing when they were kids. I remember the emotions I felt writing that part so I’m glad it came across in the story. Apologies for causing any kids distress when they read it though!”
I asked Lew myself about this moment and he explained it was actually very OiNK-like. “One of the qualities of OiNK was that it allowed us to do something like that at times,” he says. “I think it’s more effective for a humour comic to include an unexpected emotional moment (as Tony did sometimes with his Horace strip). We knew the readers were intelligent enough to appreciate it.” We certainly did, Lew. An example of Tony doing just that is coming up too.
“Wondering what your favourite OiNK chums have been doing since OiNK stopped appearing last November?”
Uncle Pigg
In the middle of the issue is a seven-page piece I assumed would’ve been created by co-editor Patrick Gallagher but he assures me it wasn’t. Unfortunately, he doesn’t recall who it was. Whoever it was takes the opportunity to bring us up-to-date on some of our favourite characters’ lives since OiNK was cancelled. Alongside the examples below the Torture Twins have also been employed in schools as a replacement for the cane, Mary Lighthouse is happy editing all of our kids’ TV shows until they’re unrecognisable and Cowpat County has been concreted over and turned into the ‘Patworld’ theme park!
As a child I loved seeing some old faves all together again but now it’s clear these are recycled panels from previous strips, even the picture of Uncle Pigg is from a newsagent reservation coupon. A strip by Patrick follows this in which our porcine editor makes an appeal to his readers for financial aid, telling us of all the woes that’s befallen him and his staff since OiNK ended, most horrifying of all being those that now had to work for Buster comic!
In the end it’s all a con and as the readers throw their money to help Uncle Pigg he summons his private helicopter to whisk him back off to those tropical islands he told us about when he signed off in #68. I have to say that while it’s funny (and as a kid I hoped the bit about having “an appeal every year” meant there’d be yearly specials forever) for young me it seemed out of character. While he loved his money Uncle Pigg always put his readers first and here he was grifting them instead. Nowadays though, it’s just silly fun and I suppose it’s in keeping with the likes of GBH. Speaking of which…
They may not have been a one-hit wonder but Bros did seem to be here one second and then gone the next. I remember some friends being obsessed and I even bought the (terrible) Marvel UK special! Here, GBH took advantage of the teen crazes of the time and then the comic tested fans to see if they were as obsessed as they’d made themselves out to be (with a brill Wilkie mini-strip underneath). I love the ‘Gros’ logo spoof of the real one and I wonder if, had OiNK continued, would the band have been a regular target. Looks that way.
Rick Astley is still going strong though, which I was pleasantly surprised to find out a couple of years back when he popped up on Jools Holland’s Hootenanny. Can’t keep a good 80s icon down.
The next page is by an artist who makes his sole contribution in this issue and that’s a shame because if this is anything to go by I’d loved to have seen more from him. José Luis Prats Cruz is a cartoonist from Southern Spain and has continued to work in the industry ever since, although his work has eluded me until now. Signing as’Ozeluí‘, if you search online you’ll find most of his cartoons have no speech just like this instant OiNK classic. You can check out his most recent work on his Instagram account. What a shame he never got to create anything else for us pig pals.
In the final issue a strip called The Pigpen of Fear presents The Spine-Tingling Tale of The House at No.13 Veryscary Avenue was billed as the first in a new series by Davey Jones. It didn’t feel odd to have it billed as such, even when no more would be coming, because OiNK was always doing things like that. Well, as it turns out it was intended to be a series after all. Not only that, but the second strip is one of my very favourite OiNK strips of all time.
The Pop-Up Toaster of Doom sees Jim and Peggy Watkins meet their comeuppance when they cross the wrong shop keeper. Complete with the scary pig character as the narrator, it’s a perfect spoof of TV shows such as Tales From the Crypt. Right from the off it pokes fun at the conventions of such shows, like the name of the shopkeeper being so obvious, and of course since this is by Davey there are a ton of background jokes to spot too.
The main gag here is that there’s nothing sinister or evil happening at all but it’s still dressed up as a horror story. Everything is completely ordinary. Even the shop itself is a red herring and in the end the horrible outcome for the couple is that they’ll just take the toaster back to the shop. It’s ingenious ludicrousness by Davey as per usual and one that had me roaring as a kid. It’s one of those occasions when it makes me laugh even more so as an adult too.
It’s the funniest strip in the issue and one of the funniest OiNK produced. Unfortunately, just like the monthlies there are reprints here too, five pages in total. In fact, the final three pages of the comic are ones we’ve seen before, which ends things on a bit of a downer for regular readers. But just before those is a new four-page Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins strip which finally concludes his long-running story with the happy ending he always deserved. It’s his and Mandy‘s wedding day!
Horace may have evolved completely from those early joke strips to an ongoing serial about the difficulties he faced thanks to his looks, but co-editor Tony Husband never forgot it was meant to be daft too. Horace’s ongoing football soap opera was wonderfully random and he faced everything from a stalker to a radioactive monster (in fact, they were both the same person). However, his strips taught us much along the way about never judging others based on their looks and that we shouldn’t let others who judge us unfairly hold us back. Yes, OiNK was a daft comic but Horace’s strip sat comfortably alongside the non-smoking, anti-bullying and anti-bigotry messages to teach its young readers the right lessons in life, without us ever being aware that’s what they were doing.
Three months was a long time to wait for new OiNK material, however the next issue wouldn’t be released for another six! The Holiday Special 1989 may have been an additional monthly issue of OiNK rather than a summery feast, but it was no less fun to take another bite of that pork pie. I never saw any adverts for the OiNK Winter Special because I wasn’t collecting any of the comics it would’ve appeared in so it was a wonderful surprise when it popped up in November 1989. I can’t wait to read it for the first time since! That next crackling issue will be here on Saturday 2nd November 2024.
Released towards the end of the summer in 1988 and advertised in the final two issues of OiNK, after the comic’s cancellation it felt like a long time coming for The OiNK! Book 1989 to finally fall into my trotters on Christmas Day that year. As I mentioned in the preview post, with a reduction in pages from the previous annual and a thinner paper stock it really does feel a lot smaller this time around. But it’s still 68 pages (including cover) of prime pork. That’s got to be reason enough to celebrate, surely?
The cover by acclaimed OiNK illustrator J.T. Dogg (real name Malcolm Douglas) is equal parts gorgeous and gruesome, with some little icky details for kids to pour over. It’s bold and brash and certainly stood out amongst the other children’s annuals, just like OiNK always had. In fact, it stood out even more than it had in the adverts because they decided to swap the colours of the logo around, possibly because it would work better against that dark brown background. I think it works much better this way (and we still get the pink regardless).
That background gives a hint as to what was on the back cover. I remember seeing it in the shop and half expecting it to be the rear of the butcher’s head, this cover clearly being a riff on the piggy face from The OiNK! Book 1988 and I laughed quite loud when I turned it over that first time. We’ll get to that at the end, we’ve the insides to cover first, beginning with the obligatory welcome page with something you’d only see in OiNK at the time: credits.
Genius scriptwriting from Lew after he was told by co-editor Mark Rodgers only the first two pages would be printed in colour
Uncle Pigg may be relying on more easily managed cards rather than an artist chiselling the names into stone like last year, but this bright and colourful welcome was just what the piggy ordered when I opened it on Christmas morning. Even today it feels like reuniting with old friends. Yes, the comic may have only ended two months ago but Ian Jackson’s contributions were becoming rarer so this is a wonderful return to form. It’s great to see certain names back too, especially Jeremy Banx who had left when the comic went monthly.
Halfway through reading the book it was clear to me what I was going to highlight first and it’s more gorgeousness from J.T. Dogg, this time written by Lew Stringer. That combination can only mean one thing, it’s Ham Dare: Pig of the Future. Last seen in The OiNK! Book 1988 I’d always remembered Ham and Pigby in serialised stories, yet only their first one was published that way. Here they get a three-page tale with a genius piece of scriptwriting from Lew after he was told by co-editor Mark Rodgers that only the first two would be printed in colour.
Normally a comic would just carry on regardless on to the black and white page but if something is “normally” done then we should really know by now that’s not what OiNK would do. Actually having it referred to is genuinely funny and Malcolm’s work is no less lovely. The third and fourth panels of that page in particular had me roaring, between the name of the weapon beam (and the reason for it) and the name of The Weakun’s henchman!
Ham Dare would return in the OiNK! Holiday Special 1989 the following year and make the cover for the only time, with a story originally written as his second serial and I for one can’t wait. There’s another serial of sorts in here, a set of four mini-posters based on Jeremy Banx’s original Butcherwatch idea, however this time each one is drawn by a different artist. Eric ‘Wilkie’ Wilkinson, Mike Higgs, Les ‘Lezz’ Barton and Banx himself. What a team! Of course, Jeremy has to have the last word, right at the very end of the book.
We just never knew when Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith would pop up, did we? While there are still three special editions of OiNK to come between now and April 2025 this book feels like an end to the regular comic. Yes, this was already in the shops and Santa already had it saved for me, but with Jimmy bursting through to threaten pig pals at the end it felt like the perfect way to wrap things up. It was like he was telling us he was always going to be about, even if the comic wasn’t.
Obviously what he says about OiNK was no longer going to be the case, but that’s because this page was created a long time before the book was published, long before the comic even went monthly, back when Jeremy was still contributing. Someone else from back in those mists of time who makes a rather brief return here (courtesy of Ian Jackson again, written by Mark Rodgers) was Hadrian Vile and his diary. It may only be half a page, and the captions aren’t typed out, but boy was I happy to see him again no matter how briefly.
Way back in the preview issue’s review I mentioned how Burp’s story in OiNK would culminate in an epic tale that taught a very young me about puberty. You may have thought I was joking. Well, maybe it was a slight exaggeration. Raging Puberty is a huge eight-page Burp strip from Banx, set in the far future and recounting an ancient rite of passage amongst the alien species, using our pal (their “lost son”) as an example.
I read and enjoyed this strip during Christmas 1988, particularly the daft fight that takes place, the imaginative weaponry and the funny designs. However, skip forward a few years and a young teenage me decided to reread the book for the first time since. I saw this next strip in a completely different light. I thought, “How did they get away with this?” on more than one occasion while outrageously laughing (before taking it to school to show to all my friends, obviously).
Straight away the descriptive captions are classic Banx, reminiscent of some absolutely brilliant Burp strips in the later fortnightlies when he was often given a double-page spread to fill with his unique style of storytelling. Even though this is a comic strip the words alone paint such a picture that the images are barely needed. But what on Earth (or elsewhere) has this got to do with the title and the reason I found it so funny a few years later? The answer is found on the next page.
Not exactly subtle and that’s why I couldn’t believe OiNK, a children’s comic, got away with this. But even beyond The Round Furry Things there’s so much to laugh along with here, such as the grizzled old warrior who was tired of being a boy and Burp’s innocence at what he thought being a grown up was all about. Then there’s the dramatic change in angle with the lone caption, “and Burp had a very sweet tooth.” It reminds me of that famous, “and the dolphin’s name was Keith” moment from Jeremy’s Mr Big Nose in #22.
I’ve really missed his work in the comic.
I’m not sure if it’s just a good gag or if Jeremy was making a bit of a point with the first panel on the fifth page, but I think it’s both funny and poignant that battle cries and fear sound exactly the same. Then the story takes a brief break to detail Gunk’s weapon of choice, the Mauser! Only Jeremy could come up with a gun that feeds electricity to a small rodent’s fear receptors to provoke it to do a literal death stare. The silencer is just the icing on the cake.
Arguably the next page is even funnier. The fight escalates, Burp using his unique bodily functions we’ve all come to know and love and be grossed out by, then as it’s all building to a climax the story casually breaks again to have a closer look at another animal-based weapon. Burp is usually a pacifist but it suits him, doesn’t it? We even get a bit of Marlon Brando from On the Waterfront, although that would definitely have gone over my head in 1988.
It all has to end in an even sillier manner and it does so with aplomb. As a fan it’s fun to see the insides of Burp’s body again and how the little fellas do all their hard work for nothing. On the final page is a message that as a kid I took to mean we should never want to grow up, that adults are just silly, so why would we want to be them? As an adult now and looking around at the world today, I think that message is pretty much on point.
Jeremy Banx was both shocked and dismayed, joking about how concerned he was for my wellbeing
So anyway, a few years later I hit that time when things start to change and life can feel very confusing. It wasn’t something we talked with our friends about, we didn’t realise what was going on after all, but then I happened to read this again. I’m not going to say things suddenly made sense! (Did you read it?!) But it was enough for me to realise I wasn’t alone and it could be something to look back on and have a giggle about, so it couldn’t be all that bad.
I once mentioned to Jeremy how a young and impressionable me viewed this strip in my early teenage years and he was both shock and dismayed, joking about how concerned he was for my wellbeing. Typical Jeremy response. So, having been mentioned in the very first OiNK review on the blog we’ve now finally covered it and finished our regular read through, coming full circle. I’ve loved seeing this again after all these years.
Moving on and yes, the dreaded reprints we saw a handful of in the monthlies have even made their way into the annual, introduced by Uncle Pigg, promoted as a way for readers to check out what they may have missed out on. Even though I’d only started reading OiNK at #14 as a child there were still a few strips here I’d read before. But, even though I hadn’t read the majority I still felt these dampened the book as a whole, especially considering there’d already been a page cut.
As it turns out there are ten pages of reprints, meaning there are actually only 54 interior pages of new content. That’s only six more than the recent monthly issues or a Holiday Special. Even as a child I was very aware of this. These reprint pages are really the only place you’ll find mini-strips too. The rest is made up of much larger fare. There’s even a three-page Psycho Gran and a five-page Spectacles of Doom (which you can see some of in artist Andy Roper’s obituary).
The new content here is superb, second-to-none and some of the very best OiNK ever produced
This means the book is a rather quick read, especially if you skip the reprints. According to co-editor Patrick Gallagher cost cutting is partly to blame after Fleetway Publications took over from IPC Magazines (who had published the first half of OiNK’s run including the first book) and OiNK had survived the first round of cancellations. There’s a chance all the larger material here was already complete when Fleetway started to see the comic’s fortunes in a more negative light during the latter weeklies/early monthlies, and maybe the plugged was simply pulled on the rest of the book.
When OiNK’s stablemate titles such as Buster and Whizzer and Chips had 112 pages in their annuals for the same price (albeit cut down from 128) you couldn’t help but feel short changed as a pig pal. The new content here is superb, second-to-none and some of the very best OiNK ever produced! But I can’t help but wonder how amazing this book could’ve been! It could even have topped the previous one. With silly pages like this next one, it’s easy to see how.
Only in an OiNK Book could such a simple, cheeky gag like this take up a full page and be illustrated and coloured so gorgeously. However, even with all of these brilliant highlights I think I may have saved the fan favourite for last, at least as far as my memories are concerned. That’s because in 1988 it was so exciting and so funny to see two of Lew Stringer’s creations in the same strip, especially when they’re Pete and his Pimple and…. Pigswilla!
Actually, we even get Tom Thug popping up too (alongside his own snowy, Christmassy strip elsewhere), so that’s two-thirds of the Buster mergers included and it’s nice to see Pete reading OiNK again instead of that other comic. Ignore the heartbreaking caption about OiNK still being a periodical and watch as Pete’s pimple becomes the latest giant monster that only an equally giant robotic pig can save the world from.
I just love that panel showing us the pimple “terrorising the cities”. It may only be a small cameo for Pigswilla’s final appearance but we did get a superb epic strip for him back in #66 so this is a nice little addendum to say goodbye. Not that it would’ve been written as one but it works nicely anyway. When reading children’s stories to my friends’ kids I think I’ll stick to the moon being made of cheese, though. (Also, did you ‘spot’ the slightly obscured dig at W.H. Smith?)
I hope you’ve enjoyed this look at just some of the highlights from The OiNK! Book 1989. In more recent years I’ve seen some pig pals online somewhat dismiss it as nothing more than an inferior version of the first one. I hope I’ve been able to enlighten you a little on why some of the changes may have occurred and, most of all, shown you that the content in it is top notch OiNK all the way. Yes, it’s a little frustrating because this could’ve been a classic OiNK Book through and through, but the team still produced some of their very best work for it. If you see it on eBay you should definitely splash out the few quid it’ll cost you for some of the best laughs you’ll ever get from a comic book.
Just like last year the outro concludes what began earlier and, while it’s yet another example of the book publicising the ongoing comic after it was canned, it’s another great page by Ian Jackson. It’s always funny to see Mary Lighthouse get her comeuppance too, isn’t it? With superb script work throughout, plenty of laughs to be had, some stunning artwork and some gorgeous colours, The OiNK! Book 1989 may feel a little unfinished but as a way of ending the regular run of OiNK during the festive season it’s a pretty perfect piggy publication.
Just that back cover to go before I let you get back to that selection box you promised yourself you wouldn’t open again until Boxing Day. That hint on the front I alluded to earlier looked a bit like a wood effect finish behind the butcher’s head, don’t you agree? There’s a good reason for that.
I can remember my disappointment the first time I saw this full-page advert for the second OiNK! Book. Why was it 16 pages less than the previous year’s? The wonderful J.T. Dogg cover softened the blow though. When I saw it in the shops as a kid it felt very light in my hands, the glossier yet thinner paper and the page count made it feel more like a Holiday Special than a sequel to the best edition of OiNK ever. However, come that Christmas season when I finally got to read it any reservations I had soon evaporated.
It certainly stands out on this back page advert from the final edition of the comic, doesn’t it? The finished book’s logo colours would be swapped around and it’d stand out even more, as you can see in the image at the very top of the post. It’s a very different book from last year and focusses on larger strips for some of our favourite characters. So, in the review this Christmas Day expect a crossover event between Pete Throb and Pigswilla, the return of Ham Dare and a simply enormous Burp strip as The Smelly Alien From Outer Space makes a long-awaited return (in a story that taught me something about growing up, believe it or not).
In three days, crack open that once-a-year-socially-acceptable-in-the-morning booze and have a chuckle along with highlights from “Britain’s Craziest Comic Book”, The OiNK! Book 1989.
This is a really stinky, smelly, rubbish issue of OiNK. However, as pig pals will attest that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Instead, it’s rubbish with a capital ‘R’ because David Haldane’s Rubbish Man is back after a long hiatus. Originally appearing in every comic, special and book, Rubbish Man disappeared when OiNK when weekly with #45, however David continued to contribute to every issue with his uniquely bizarre sense of humour.
Not intending to do things by halves, Jimmy Bung (our hero’s alter ego) takes up a whopping ten pages of this issue, his adventure split up into five double-page spreads and as you can see by the cover it has a rather famous guest star in the shape of then American President, Ronald Reagan. And a slime monster. Naturally. I love the ‘Reagan In Arms Trouble’ headline, mimicking the newspapers of the day. Interestingly (or coincidentally) the three characters who’d be making the transition to Buster comic in a month are all mentioned on the cover, and watch out for a special blog post next week about that top corner announcement!
We kick things off right at the top of page two with Kev F Sutherland’s Here Comes Rhymin’ Simon, a one-off character whose name suggests the joke will be based solely on how he speaks. However, we should know by now never to predict a strip by Kev. My point is proven when the story actually takes a dig at the push for ‘Made in Britain’ in the press at the time, something Spitting Image also masterfully took the hand out of. Even at my young age (back then, not now) I can remember my friends and I making jokes about those little stickers.
A strong satirical start that this kid definitely appreciated at the time and a few pages later Marc Riley’s Harry the Head returns to top form too. Harry’s strips were always at their best when they were full pages and individual stories. The lengthy adventure serial he had for a few months in the fortnightlies didn’t really work for me and, while his mini-strips in recent issues have been funny, reading this next page reminded me of how strong his entries were right back at the beginning of OiNK.
While having Harry stitched up inside Barney could have made for some (possibly rather disturbing) fun, the end made me chortle. As if Harry being a disembodied head wasn’t a dead giveaway, slapping on a joke shop disguise is just so ridiculous with an already ridiculous character I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s nice to see Marc back to writing for Harry too.
After what felt like a Lew Stringer special last month, the prolific cartoonist returns to a more regular workload. There’s a one-page Tom Thug which rings true, in which we see Tom taking on the true persona of all bullies including the online troll variety. Then Pete and his Pimple’s three-page strip starts off with this imaginative photo collage as he travels into the far-flung future to seek out a pimple cure after a suggestion from reader Matthew Browning of Kent.
A nice little 2000AD reference there too.
The story is a good ‘un if you can track down the issue, with Pete arrested in a world where anyone with spots is jailed for everything that’s wrong with the world, after the government has run out of other minorities to blame. Just to nail the point home, when a robotic claw grabs him it’s named ‘Claws 28’ after Margaret Thatcher’s draconian anti-LGBTQ+ Clause 28 from the late 80s. It’s yet another example of Lew’s social commentary that’s both very funny and unfortunately still very relevant.
Time to see what that front cover was all about and in a distant galaxy we meet the crazy baddie (aren’t they all?) Dr. Blip, the last of his race, and his two henchmen The Glove Puppets From Hell. In order to hold all of planet Earth to ransom for fifty squillion, zillion pounds and a copy of Dire Straits’ latest album he’s kidnapped Reagan and sent the largest monster Rubbish Man has ever faced. How large? Well…
Jings, Rubbish Man! I do believe you’re right! That would’ve been one helluva cliffhanger had the original idea for this strip as a weekly serial been realised. Hinted at back in #52, the plan was for this to be a five-part story but it’s clear David ended up creating it for the monthly format; there are no titles at the beginning of each part (unlike The Street-Hogs in #65 which had been partially drawn before the shift to monthlies) and it all feels very spaced out, like it was created for a larger format.
Below is the page where Reagan is kidnapped by one of Dr. Blip’s hideous monsters just as he’s on the telephone to our smelly hero. The panels are huge and every double-page spread feels like one page of David’s usually packed pages stretched out. The art is gorgeously coloured (a rare thing for Haldane in OiNK) and the grotesque creature is suitably (comically) horrific and very random as per David’s humour, but there’s just not as much to read as we’ve come to expect.
There’s something else missing too. Where’s the mouldy custard squirting out of Rubbish Man’s nostrils? Or the mushy peas spraying out from his fingertips? Or his super garlic breath? While it’s a funny and imaginative strip, apart from one solitary smelly foot none of his powers are present. They were the whole point of the character and why he was so beloved by the children reading the comic.
Instead, all of the gross out humour is reserved for the stomach of the planet devouring beast and hordes of undigested carrots. Or rather, a “hungry horde of psychopathic, semi-digested, blood-crazed diced carrots”. It may not feel like a classic Rubbish Man story but I can’t fault the imagination on show and where else would you find a superhero not only swimming through a swamp of ear wax, but also commenting on how this isn’t his first time.
The story comes to its conclusion when Reagan utters some magical Presidential words told to him by his wife Nancy earlier that day (“Jumpin’ Jellybeans!”) and turns into President of the United States Man. Yes, really. With a simple, single superhero punch Dr. Blip (himself modelled on a certain 80s English politician) is defeated and Rubbish Man takes care of the Glove Puppets from Hell he’d been forced to wear in equally easy fashion. Of course there’s just one more issue to mop up.
Or not, as it turns out.
With the new target audience of teens and students it’s strange to see the absence of the smelly and unhygienic nature of the character. (Surely they’re an even more perfect group of readers for him!) As it stands it’s a fun strip which I think needed about half the space it took up here and I can only imagine the extra laughs it could’ve contained had it been written as five individual strips in the weekly OiNK. As an epic adventure for this particular character it could’ve been so much more.
This was his penultimate strip, with a similarly lengthy story to come in the OiNK Winter Special next year, then there’s a reprint in the OiNK Summer Collection the year after. He doesn’t even pop up in the forthcoming OiNK! Book 1989 (see further below). It’s such a shame because he was a real highlight of those early issues, my favourites to this day still being the colourful Kentucky Fried adventure from the very first issue and the multiple laughs to be had in #9’s bonkers entry. Farewell for now Jimmy, it’s been a whiffy blast. Meanwhile…
This Meanwhile… from Kev F reminds me of a smaller strip by Vaughan Brunt and Mike Green from #31 and just like Vaughan’s debut this was also repeated umpteen times in the school playground to anyone who’d listen. Nice little cameo by one of Kev’s Three Scientists from last month’s highlights, too. From a spoof of one classic comics superhero to a spoof of another classic comic’s adventure strip, this time of the British variety.
Danny and Penny Cretin were overjoyed when their uncle built them an amazing mechanical fish
The Iron Salmon, Lew Stringer
Back in the 60s Beano would have a couple of adventure strips in amongst the silliness and OiNK cartoonist Lew Stringer’s favourite was The Iron Fish, a tale of two young children who owned a fantastic metal submersible in the shape of a giant, dynamic-looking fish in which they’d have various adventures. A couple of decades later and Lew teamed up with artist Andy Roper to bring life to The Iron Salmon, a rather more cumbersome and sorrowful-looking vehicle.
The two children may have the same forenames as their Beano originals but their surname was changed to one Lew felt better suited the rather wet personalities of Beano’s pair. While the adventure strip had them poke their noses into things to save the day, here their nosey nature causes disaster after disaster, neither of them having the intelligence or self-awareness to know they’re the ones causing all of the problems to begin with. This is great fun.
Andy’s art is perfect for spoofing classic comics. He did so with OiNK’S take on Rover‘s and Victor’s Tough of the Track and of course let’s not forget his main contribution to our comic, the phenomenal Spectacles of Doom. The fact the original Iron Fish’s headlights looked like ferocious eyes is brilliantly transformed into big cute ones instead, with a further set of headlights making it look even more gormless. Sadly no longer with us, you can see more highlights from Andy’s time on OiNK including his Scruff of the Track, in his obituary.
You can also check out Lew’s posts about The Iron Fish on his old Blimey! blog, including some of the earliest ones he read as a child, its reinvention for Buddy comic and even a real-life version, The Seabreacher!
As a kid this was the first monthly I spotted strips (as opposed to the posters, which I’d missed the first time) I’d originally read a year or two earlier. This disappointed me but was by no means a deal breaker. Including those posters there are eight pages of reprint material here, more than the previous issues but on the back page came news of something glossy and new! The OiNK! Book 1988 had been so incrediblethe previous Christmas I’d eagerly awaited its sequel. Now, word finally reached pig pals of the 1989 volume.
It was great to see the old logo again. As a kid I hadn’t realised I’d actually missed it until I saw this superb J.T. Dogg cover. His illustration made up for the disappointing news it contained 16 less pages than the previous book, especially disappointing given the regular comic now had 48! As a result, the book having only 16 more pages than the comic it was advertised in felt rather stingy when I originally saw this advert. I could only hope it wouldn’t disappoint on Christmas Morning. We’ll find out in a few short months.
We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon
There’s a surprise return to strip form for one more character before I sign off this review. I’ll end on that but first the Next Issue page (which you’ll see in its own post on Friday 20th October 2023) contains a gorgeous Frank Sidebottom cover which sadly adorns what would be the last issue of OiNK. I can’t believe we’ve come this far already. Don’t worry though, there’s a ton of OiNK content still to come, both in the immediate future and for years yet on the blog.
For example coming next week is that post promised above, on Sunday 15th October you’ll see how Buster comic announced the merge to come the following week, then on Sunday 22nd October you’ll have two reviews to read, one for OiNK#68 and another for the first four Busters starring three of our favourite characters. Then it’ll feel like no time at all until The OiNK! Book 1989 is reviewed on Christmas Day. For now, as we approach the end it feels fitting to have Mary Lighthouse (critic) back in the pages again, here written by F. Jayne Rodgers (co-editor Mark’s sister), her sole contribution and drawn as ever by the irreplaceable Ian Jackson. We’ve missed you Mary, and we’ll miss everyone very soon.
OiNK Blog 