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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD 8: DOCTOR… WHAT?!

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As I collected Death’s Head’s comic for the blog I couldn’t help but notice the covers for the final three issues all prominently displayed characters from other publications. Crossovers were usually an event and used sparingly in my comics as a kid so my initial reaction to seeing these was that they were really, really trying to get a bigger audience for the comic, which made me think sales weren’t great. A bit of a leap perhaps, but three crossovers in a row?

This issue we see the Seventh Doctor (as played by Sylvester McCoy on TV) guest star after our Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent first appeared in Doctor Who Magazine and ended up reduced to human size by the time-traveling alien. It’s clear from the cover and the editorial inside that the opportunity for revenge has presented itself and Death’s Head intends to follow it through. But first, a surprise in the credits!

Unlike all previous issues, which were written by the character’s co-creator Simon Furman, this chapter is written by Steve Parkhouse (Nick Fury Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Bojeffries Saga, Doctor Who – unsurprisingly) who also inks Art Wetherell’s (Transformers, The Incredible Hulk Presents, Sheena Queen of the Jungle) pencils. Annie Halfacree letters and Louise Cassell colours a strip that feels very different than usual. Plus, Steve White (editor of Visionaries, colourist on Jurassic Park) takes over as editor after Richard Starkings had resigned.

The plot involves Josiah W. Dogbolter, a character of Steve Parkhouse’s and Steve Dillon‘s from DWM in the Fifth Doctor days, whose company wants to make money out of time travel by privatising it. How could time travel be privatised? In the 80s we thought the same thing about water and the railways. This is clearly taking a dig at Margaret Thatcher’s government of the time, something Simon’s Dragon’s Claws was very good at. It’s nice to see this kind of satire make its way into the more comedy-focussed title.

Dogbolter finishes his speech to his shareholders and the press with the phrase, “Time IS money!!” and I have to hand it to him for that one. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the businessman has had previous run-ins with The Doctor and that’s why he’s wanting to control the very essence of time travel. The first panel above sums up the entirety of the plot for this issue, found on the second page.

This comic could never be accused of having intricate plot lines, usually they’re just a means to an end. But when those ends are so full of character, action and laughs, when they’re so enjoyable, they do the job. This issue is no exception. Hob is Dogbolter’s robotic assistant and is sent out (in delivery boy uniform no less) to hire Death’s Head for an assassination attempt on The Doctor. Needless to say, he accepts the job.

“Poot? This is some Time Machine, yes?”

Death’s Head

What he doesn’t know is that Dogbolter was looking for “a skilled assassin who’s not only spectacularly stupid, but psychotically aggressive, amoral, and lacking any kind of imagination whatsoever” and Hob’s conclusion was to approach our lead character. It becomes apparent later in the strip why his boss was looking for someone with these particular traits. But first, on a dark and stormy post-apocalyptic night in a future Los Angeles, the powerful time travelling device gets strapped to Death’s Head and he dramatically sets off. Well, sort of.

It’s not exactly the TARDIS. A fun segment takes Death’s Head through various points in time before he’s able to find The Doctor. First of all he lands in an English parish in 1646. Leaving just moments later it was enough for the poor woman whose garden he appeared in to be sentenced to death for summoning a demon. Two huge shoed footprints are uncovered by archaeologists digging for Triassic period fossils and then he appears in front of a German tank during World War II!

Lots of laughs later we see The Doctor is also attempting to make an audience smile as he plays a court jester in a panto taking place in front of tourists on an English seaside pier. I have no idea why this is, perhaps it ties into a story in Doctor Who Magazine at the time. A loud noise from behind him sends the audience into the usual pantomime chant of “He’s behind you”, to which The Doctor naturally replies, “Oh not he isn’t”, leading to this next page.

That’s an entrance. Using some panto clichés, namely pulling a lever to open a trap door under Death’s Head and then escaping as one half of a pantomime horse (no, really), The Doctor makes his way back to the TARDIS and scarpers to another time and place. This really is all rather ridiculous, even for the far-fetched nature of this comic but then again we have to remember this was published during 80s Doctor Who.

I have a real fondness for Sylvester’s Doctor. He was my first but I didn’t start watching until the beginning of his second season (with the phenomenal Remembrance of the Daleks) when he became a darker and more mysterious character, often instigating the plot rather than reacting to an injustice. But when this comic was written only his first season had been broadcast in which he was much more of a clown, fumbling his way through time while playing the spoons!

This explains a lot about his actions in Time Bomb, and especially the ludicrous escape he’s just made. 

So he may not feel like my Doctor but it’s still an entertaining strip. Death’s Head is able to somehow materialise inside the TARDIS (this is never explained) direct from the sea he’d plunged into under the pier. An alarm sounds and soon he finds out he’s been double-crossed. Dogbolter not only ensured The Doctor would be killed but that there wouldn’t be any witnesses to tie things back to him.

Over the next couple of pages we see Death’s Head and The Doctor work together as much as they ever will, not exactly with each other but they have a mutual wish to survive and that’s enough for now. They lock on to the source of the signal and materialise on top of Intra-Venus Inc.’s (brilliant name) roof, much to Dogbolter’s chagrin. As he heads to the sub-basement shelter, inside the TARDIS Death’s Head tries to convince The Doctor to blast the straps of the machine off his back.

The patter between these two is very good. Death’s Head explains he never learned how to worry but that The Doctor is about to be blown up and end up in hell, so he tells him he’d better get to work. Using something called a Piklok (a new invention, but why not the Sonic Screwdriver?) he manages to unstrap the time machine while elsewhere Dogbolter has lost his ID card and can’t get off the elevator in time to escape before this next page.

I have an issue with this. A big one. It’s been established the time machine is nuclear-powered, so why did The Doctor not dispose of it in deep, dark space? Why bring it back to Earth? The size of the explosion is meant to indicate the end of Dogbolter and his company, but that would also include everyone else in that building and at the very least the surrounding buildings too! The Doctor would never put innocent human lives at risk, never mind actually blowing them to bits!

Back in Doctor Who Magazine #135 he also put Earth at risk by dropping Death’s Head off here, even though he acknowledged how dangerous that would be for his favourite planet. It’s not like the Seventh Doctor had it in for us humans, he held the same morals as all the rest, including the modern day incarnations (if you’re unfamiliar with the classic series). It’s a huge sticking point for me and kind of ruins the end of a fun story.

With this in mind it’s quite galling of The Doctor to then try to lecture our mechanoid anti-hero on his behaviour. Death’s Head’s response is funny though, I’ll give the strip that. The Doctor tells him that humans can evolve and change their evil ways, which Death’s Head simply describes as falling apart. After all, he’s programmed, and metal; if he changes from that then he’s literally falling apart. It’s black and white to him.

“A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead.”

Death’s Head

As The Doctor leaves he tells Death’s Head that he’s doomed, that in a thousand years people will be different be he’ll still be the same. “A thousand years from now I’ll be rich… but you’ll be dead”, he retorts. There’s no use in trying to push it, so as the TARDIS doors close he’s told he’s just a machine, a tool, one that nobody truly needs. Death’s Head muses that The Doctor is probably right, but then realises he doesn’t care; he’s home and ready to earn money again.

The final few panels pull back to reveal a not-so-subtle hint of who will be guest starring in #9. Anyone unsure (as I would’ve been at the time if I’d been reading this as a kid, I wasn’t a superhero comic reader), the answer to the final letter on the Head To Head page gives the game away not only for the next issue but the final one beyond that.

Then again, what’s the point in crossovers if you can’t market the hell out of them in advance to try to increase sales, yes?

I really enjoyed this story but that explosive ending bugs me. I don’t mean to dwell but as a fan of Doctor Who it’s just so out of character, so out of sync with what the series stands for, that I can’t let it go. I know nothing about The Fantastic Four so if they suffer the same fate I’ll be none the wiser. We’ll see how Death’s Head fares with four super-powered humans in #9, so watch out for the review on Monday 1st July 2024.

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Comic Reviews, G.I. Joe, Transformers: Generation 2

G.I. JOE #138: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

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I do love it when I get to start a brand new real time read through and this is one I’ve been particularly looking forward to. Not only have I never read Transformers: Generation 2 before (and as usual I’ll be discovering it one month at a time and telling you about it as I do) but the story actually kicked off in a special crossover event in the pages of another favourite comic, G.I. Joe.

I discovered the Joes and Cobra when they were known as Action Force in the UK in their position as back up strip in Transformers, after their own weekly was cancelled. When reading their adventures as part of that read through on the blog’s Instagram I became a huge fan all over again, collected some of IDW’s continuation and am now a dedicated reader of the same comic under the stewardship of Image Comics.

In case you didn’t know, this actual comic continues to this day and it’s still being written by Larry Hama! So going back to read these issues is extra exciting for me because they’re earlier stories of the new comic I’m reading today. Regarding that title on the cover, the Ninja Force were a sub-section of both sides of the conflict and a new range of Hasbro toys at the time. With Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow as the main characters the comic’s name was temporarily changed to promote the range.

Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville

That secondary title would be replaced with ‘and Transformers: Generation 2’ from the next issue and initially I thought that was where I’d begin with the four-part story between #139 and #142. But this issue was also in the bundle of comics I purchased from eBay and a quick flick through it showed me why. You’ll see why, so let’s begin.

Instantly I recognise the art style, that unique Marvel UK look produced by Andrew Wildman (also on cover duties) on pencils and Stephen Baskerville on inks, now in this American comic. Together they produced some incredible art for the original Transformers towards the end of its run. Andrew is best know for his Transformers, The Real Ghostbusters and G.I. Joe work, while it’s the former two and 2000AD for Stephen. The art is completed with letters by Rick Parker (Spider-Man, Time magazine, Tales From the Crypt) and colours by Bob Sharen (Alpha Flight, Ghost Rider, Invincible Iron Man), both of whose work I recognise from those earlier back up strips.

“I want that uxorious chrome-visaged twit and his xanthippic consort winkled out like the limeceous bivalves they are!”

Cobra Commander

So I immediately felt right at home. Things begin with one of my favourite characters, Scarlett going through a mental crisis. She’s apparently defected to Cobra although in reality this is just an undercover mission. However, she believes her actions led to the death of Hawk and Stalker, however they survived whatever transpired in previous issues. She just doesn’t know this yet.

Obviously I haven’t read the chapters leading up to this so I can only tell you what happens here. In a nutshell Destro and Baroness are trying to escape from Cobra with the aid of G.I. Joe (a separate story from Scarlett’s). The action takes place inside a tall fortress of Destro’s design that can shift its shape into different defensive and offensive configurations. Destro also included secret crawlspaces behind the walls, where they are currently hiding. However, these have now been discovered, a hole has been blown in a wall and Cobra Commander has sent his troops in to capture them.

At this point in the story it seems Cobra Commander has a… unique use of language. Throughout this issue he seems to use half a dozen words when one would suffice. It adds to his superiority complex and I enjoy it. Only Larry could carry these lengthy speech balloons off in the heat of the action. We also see Destro’s use of cool 80s tech from within his metallic face mask that I hadn’t seen before and we find out just how dedicated the Joes need to be to Scarlett’s mission.

Despite Scarlett and Snake Eyes being very much in love, he and Storm Shadow must treat her like any other Cobra enemy if she’s to remain alive. It’s a fine balancing act that leads to a shocking moment later in the issue. (If you’re wondering, “Xin-loi” is a phrase used during the Vietnam war and roughly translates as “tough luck”, albeit a more vulgar version.) Once inside the crawlspaces, laden with boobie traps, Larry shows he’s still not afraid to kill people in glorious fashion in this children’s comic, something the cartoon couldn’t do.

Storm Shadow and the ever-silent Snake Eyes skilfully parachute in on top of the transforming building and we can see how it’s whole form is shifting about, taking care of many of the Cobra grunts as it does so. I’ve searched online and I can’t find evidence of this strange castle being a toy in the original range but I’m happy to be proven wrong if any readers can point me in the right direction.

I’ve seen some wonderful fan-made models of it though, complete right down to the colour of the stone and the ability to alter its shape. It’s this shape altering that brings us to the first shock of the issue, at least for anyone who had been reading this in 1993 and especially those who had been fans of Marvel’s other popular licenced monthly from a few years previous. As the building continues to change it’s caught the attention of an outside force.

Many fans of Transformers were also fans of G.I. Joe (and this continues to be the case today, like me for example) so imagine the impact that page would’ve had as they’d been reading what is already an exciting climax to a story. That’s just a tiny glimpse, one that perhaps those not au fait with the Transformers wouldn’t have fully grasped, but I’m sure the majority were thrilled. I wish I hadn’t flicked through the issue when I first got it as part of my eBay bundle, I’d loved to have been surprised by this.

Back to that story though and the plan will be familiar to those who have seen The Dark Knight (as one example). To extract Destro and Baroness they’re fastened to Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, and long wires with balloons on the end are attached to the ninjas. The balloons are inflated and travel far up into the night sky where planes grab the wires and haul all four of them off the ground at high speed.

Imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming

But what Snake Eyes didn’t reckon on was Scarlett being part of the Cobra team sent to return Destro to Cobra Commander. They come into contact with each other on the roof of the castle. Quite literally! Now remember, Snake was ordered by Hawk to treat Scarlett as if she were any other enemy so as not to blow her cover. What happens as a result is truly the most shocking moment of the issue.

This shocked me even though I know Scarlett is in the modern comic! I can only imagine what impact this page would’ve had decades ago. A few pages later though, this moment proves to be cathartic for Scarlett. Slice, a member of Cobra who is suspicious of her still isn’t convinced despite seeing it happen, even though Dr. Biggles-Jones declares Snake trying to kill her is clear proof of her loyalty.

However, back on board the Joes’ plane Storm Shadow explains Snake had to do the near-impossible; he had a split second to make it convincing and at the same moment make sure his aim was “pure”. It had to be so, so close. Hawk tries to sooth Snake’s obvious anxiety by telling him Scarlett of all people knows how good he is, she knows he never misses “except on purpose”, that even if she still believes she was responsible for Hawk’s and Stalker’s supposed deaths she “now knows that you couldn’t hold it against her!”

Back at the now-stationery castle Scarlet is in incredible agony, yet has a smile beneath all the tears and is just about able to utter the words “I know” before passing out. Amongst all of the action, whether that be the ninja-based, sci-fi or war storylines the comic flipped between, Larry’s characters have always been fully formed, grounded and believable, even when their very existence is far fetched. Decades of writing them hasn’t blunted any of that expertise either.

The panels above form the bottom half of the penultimate page of the strip, with Cobra Commander’s cold reaction to Slice’s request to gut Scarlett, to see how the Joes react as a final test of her loyalty. Then a huge shadow falls over the group. The terrorists looks up in horror. And we turn the page.

What an ending! Again, imagine being a fan of both franchises and reading this for the first time without knowing it was coming. Especially with Andrew and Stephen’s familiar superb work on Megatron! The last time we saw ol’ Megs was in the final UK annual released for Christmas 1991. The Decepticons were trying to use the unstable nucleon (which had had unexpected side effects on some Transformers) to resurrect their fallen leader, recently separated from the body he shared with Autobot Ratchet before The Ark was blown up and crash landed on Earth.

Here he looks suitably patchy, with wires hanging out of battered parts of his body. I knew this was coming but it was still a thrill to read this page as the end of this story. I’m super hyped to get stuck into the next four issues of G.I. Joe and even more so for the 12 issues of Transformers: Generation 2 to come after that! Simon Furman writing that forthcoming series and having these robotic characters resurrected by Larry Hama is going to be something special if this small preview story (as it is for me) is anything to go by.

Before we wrap up, a quick look at a couple of contemporary adverts from the issue. First up, a movie that has been derided in the years since but which I still enjoy. Super Mario Bros was a flop (and the recent animation knocks it out of the park) but it’s a zany, ridiculous and oh-so-90s film that’s completely unique. I have the BluRay and the documentary tells a fascinating tale about its creation. Apparently the original script was great, aimed at a teenage-and-up audience and the cast were very happy with it (as were Nintendo). But just a few days before shooting was to commence the studio produced a new, more child-friendly script that threw everything out that had been created before, so its directors had to shoot something they didn’t like while using all of the sets and effects created for the previous script!

In the documentary John Leguizamo explains how they made the most of such a horrid situation and to me it’s a miracle any movie got made. As much as I enjoy the silliness of the end result, I can’t help but wonder what this talented cast could’ve done without the interference of studio executives who didn’t understand the original source material. Oh well.

Another ad that stood out (among the many, many adverts in the comic that often interrupted the strip on every other page) was for classic video game Flashback. I remember seeing friends play it on their Commodore Amigas and it looked stunning in a demo for my own 3DO but I never played it myself. Well, as it turns out it’s been rereleased for the Nintendo Switch so after seeing this ad I just had to break out the wallet.

It’s a great start to this latest real time read through and for all intents and purposes it’s not even the beginning yet, that’ll come next month with the actual first part of the G.I. Joe and Transformers: Generation 2 storyline by Larry Hama. It seems suitably timely with a crossover movie coming to our screens in the not-too-distant future. Be sure to check back on Sunday 30th June 2024 for the next/first chapter.

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #7: EXPLOSiVE SLAPSTiCK

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With an increase of 5p on the cover price, Death’s Head #7 hit stores today back in 1989 with this Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer cover, while inside I’m excited to see inking duties on Bryan’s pencils are actually by Jeff Anderson, whose work I loved so much in Marvel UK’s top-selling Transformers and this combination is just superb throughout. The comic is also still offering subscriptions for 12 months so clearly there was no sign yet that even those earliest of subscribers wouldn’t be getting all of their issues delivered. (Only three more to go after this one.)

A new colourist has joined the fray, namely Stuart Place who also coloured for the company’s The Real Ghostbusters, Action Force (G.I. Joe) and Transformers, most notably the fan-favourite Dinobot Hunt story in the early days of the comic. Steve White has also taken over as editor after Richard Starkings resigned. Poor Steve, we’ve already seen his name on the blog when he edited Visionaries but it didn’t last long because the subject matter flopped, he took over Havoc just before it got unceremoniously canned and the same is about to happen here. None were his fault obviously, and he is a simply incredible artist! Check out his Instagram and make sure you see his gorgeous colouring on Xenozoic Tales in Dark Horse’s Jurassic Park!

Shot by Both Sides (as ever written by Simon Furman with Annie Halfacree lettering) is a brilliant strip, one of my favourites of the run so far. The comedy comes thick and fast in the early pages. A robotic tour guide is telling passengers on a bus what they can see to their right and left when a crashing ship narrowly averts disaster but rips off the roof of the vehicle in the process. In response, the robot simply moves on with, “Um, well… above you, you can see…”.

It’s at this point we see the panel above and the ship in question is Death’s Head‘s, who seems to be having problems with the autopilot. I remember a friend of mine in school who was a particularly big fan and he’d often quote the “No, yes?” line when asked a question. The plot this time combines two previous cliffhangers from #4 and #6 and sees bounty hunter Big Shot and explosives expert Short Fuse both attempting to take out the Freelance Peace-Keeping Agent for their bosses.

These bosses are the previously featured Undertaker and new gangster Dead Cert, a cigar-chomping man with a horse’s head who unironically runs the city’s illegal sports gambling rings, including horse racing. In the first scene (the crashing ship one) we find out Big Shot had fired a high-powered missile at Death’s Head ship which had initiated the crash. But Short Fuse had also planted an explosion in the cargo hold. When it went off it lightened the craft enough for it to be successfully pulled up before it crashed into that bus.

Death’s Head puts both down to “cowboy builders” and doesn’t realise he was actually under attack. This forms the backbone of this month’s tale. Big Shot’s aim is to kill our anti-hero and double-cross Undertaker by taking over Death’s Head’s business, while Short Fuse just wants to do a good job for the person/horse who hired him. However, they keep attempting to take out their target at the same time. While completely unaware of each other, each attempt is undone by the other’s, cancelling each other out in an increasingly funny series of events.

There’s a main bad guy mixed in here that acts as Death’s Head’s target for a job he and Spratt (good to see him back in the strip) have been hired to carry out. Called Photofit, he has a hi-tech suit which enables him to mimic anyone he comes in contact with. Think the T-1000 from Terminator 2, albeit a few years before that film was released. While the chase makes for an entertaining plot it’s really just a vehicle for the assassination attempts.

Eventually our lead clicks that something is going on as you can see below. I love the panel when he realises, his expression and the rain bouncing off his metallic face is all just perfectly realised. In the middle panel you can see how Short Fuse’s mistimed bomb blows Death’s Head backwards and away from Big Shot firing his bazooka-like weapon. He’d been in his sights but the explosion pushed the target out of the way and you can see the bazooka shell zooming harmlessly past.

Somehow this doesn’t get stale either, mainly thanks to the imagination on show in how these attempts fail and Death’s Head’s reactions. All the while the Photofit story continues and he disguises himself as a contestant on a game show where the prize is a trip out of the country, all paid for and through legitimate channels, the ultimate getaway right in plain sight.

Spratt accidentally ends up on the show itself and faces off against the disguised Photofit while Death’s Head tries to search the rest of the building for someone who could be anyone. All the while he’s getting attacked by unknown enemies. Unknown until Big Shot finally decides to change that. Sick of having his chances squandered he blasts Death’s Head through a wall, then stands over him, gun pointed at his head, ready to take the final shot… when another explosion knocks him off his feet and into waiting fists.

I had to laugh at that first panel! Well, our main character isn’t a bounty hunter after all, yes? Short Fuse is getting frustrated too. For once it was Big Shot who got in his way, so he resorts to desperate measures but his own incompetence results in nothing more than an explosion in mid-air that shoves the fighting duo through a wall and into the television studio. 

Just before this, Photofit makes himself known to Spratt because our unwitting contestant is actually winning the game. A gun held in the small of his back, he’s saved by the sudden arrival of our fighting duo and Photofit realises he’s defeated and must escape. He sees the perfect disguise right in front of him. Or it would be, if that disguise didn’t immediately place him in the sights of an assassin.

So the magnetic bomb obviously doesn’t stick to the very human imposter and in a shocking move it not only blows him up but Short Fuse as well! Okay, yes, he’s been trying to blow up Death’s Head but the very violent slapstick comedy he’s brought to the issue has been hilarious and I’m genuinely sorry to see him killed off. Despite being a hired killer there was something loveable about the little man. However, even in death he manages to thwart Big Shot one final time and save the mechanoid they’d both been hired to kill. 

As the story ends Spratt and Death’s Head converse over how it was strange that things kept exploding around them, reminding the readers that the duo never even knew of Short Fuse’s existence, never mind his influence on events (and their lives). They don’t seem to care why those explosions kept happening and instead only hope there’s enough left of their target so that they can prove they’ve earned their money!

It’s a suitably funny conclusion for these two, playing down the events and simply moving on. In their position it’s probably the healthiest way to be but that’s not the point. The point is that they’re very funny together and obviously the perfect match, something even Death’s Head seems to have finally acknowledged. These two are so well written, their actions and dialogue so natural that you have to step back to remember how far-fetched the whole scenario of the comic is.

I’ve really enjoyed Simon’s writing in Transformers and Dragon’s Claws but there’s something about this particular comic that stands out. It feels like it’s more of a personal project for Simon, it’s so one-of-a-kind and has such a unique sense of humour I get the feeling the writing is closer to Simon’s own personality than anything else I’ve read. We’ll see that insight hopefully develop even more over the remaining months, the next instalment in five weeks on Monday 3rd June 2024.

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD #6: A GOOD YARN(iE)

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The first time K.I.T.T. (programmed for human preservation) faced off against the evil prototype K.A.R.R. (programmed for self-preservation) in season one of Knight Rider the paradox of “What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?” was brought up. As a huge fan of the show, when I opened this sixth issue of Marvel UK’s Death’s Head its inclusion as the opening of the editorial made me smile. The militia group Sudden Impact are promoted as equals to the Peacekeeping Agent, so while their cliffhanger last time felt lacking it’s made up for here.

They’re a clichéd lot though, with an overly shouty commander and a ragtag collection of men and women that look like they’ve walked straight out of an 80s action figures catalogue. You might also notice the art style is somewhat different to what we’re used to. That’s because this issue is pencilled by Liam Sharp (Judge Dredd, Batman, Spider-Man), inked by Paul Marshall (Mean Machine, Firekind, Sinister Dexter) and coloured by Louise Cassell (Doctor Who Classic Comics, Transformers, Captain Britain) alongside regular letterer Annie Halfacree and all under the auspices of editor Richard Starkings. The cover above is by the usual pairing of Bryan Hitch and Mark Farmer.

An army general arrives with some troops and confirms he’s there to hire Sudden Impact to tie up some unnamed loose end, which I initially thought would be Death’s Head. His men start to bad-mouth the mercenaries’ looks but Mayhem (their very original-named leader) gives them the go ahead to fight back. Physically. Soon the troops, who vastly outnumbered them, are all beaten but the general doesn’t care. He just agrees Mayhem’s team are the right people for the job.

We catch up with our anti-hero in a luxurious compound in the middle of nowhere, where he’s been hired to ensure a nervous government witness gets to trial. It’s a cushty job for once, so far involving nothing more than relaxing and watching TV. But we know a large team of maniacal, murderous mercenaries are on their way and it would appear he’s the last line of defence. Surely an impossible mission? It’s just as well he has Tom Cruise there too!

As writer Simon Furman describes it in the following panels, the attack is less a battle and more of a slaughter. Tom… I mean, Marshal Lek and his politicised police force are no match for Sudden Impact and the star witness begs Death’s Head to do something. So naturally he responds by telling him they’ll go and find the chess set! We’ll get back to that.

First we get the plot laid out for us as we meet Minister Carson, a corrupt official who has been selling parts of the US armed forces to foreign adversaries for substantial payments. The General we met earlier actually thinks this wouldn’t stop a lot of Americans from still voting for him. Given today’s climate and the blind followers of certain presidential candidates in that country this isn’t as far fetched as it once may have been.

Before we return to the action we catch a quick glimpse of Spratt back at their office. After not appearing at all last month and on one solitary page this time around it feels a bit like he’s taking a back seat after being promoted as Death’s Head’s partner in earlier issues. Such a shame. Here he’s reduced to trying to answer the phone while being attacked by their rescued vulture (see #5), only to discover someone on the line addressing Death’s Head as “my darling”.

That’s all we get of that particular storyline for this issue before we return to that chess set. Yep, he wasn’t kidding and he’s set it up in a secured safe room and ignores the fighting outside. Of course Lek isn’t too happy but you can’t fault Death’s Head’s logic below, and it’s nice to see him back to working to the letter of his contracts which was such an important rule in #1 and yet seemed to be broken or forgotten about last time. 

With Lek’s small army taken out already and the mercenaries breaking through into the safe room, it all rests on the star of the comic to take down Sudden Impact one member at a time. What we’re treated to next are several pages of perfect 80s action, similar to how certain issues of Dragon’s Claws (also written by Simon) felt like 80s action movies translated directly to the page. What this means for this character is one exciting take down after another, each accompanied by a Schwarzenegger-like punchline.

With six now taken out already a disappointed Death’s Head laments about how they were meant to be unstoppable but yet it’s all a bit easy for him. Missile launchers, flame throwers, aerial attacks, stealth moves… nothing works and we see the team reduced to its final members over these pages. While it’s all great fun I can’t help but wonder would it have been more exciting if this had been one seemingly unstoppable mercenary rather than a group?

As it stands, Sudden Impact seem little more than cannon fodder, but if it had been Mayhem himself taking up all these pages with attempts to kill Death’s Head, relentlessly coming back for more, it may have felt more dramatic. However, it’s great fun and if there’s anything we’ve learned about the comic by this sixth issue it’s that fun is the main aim here, not drama.

So who cares if they’re cannon fodder? Who cares if it could’ve been more dramatic with one merc? With killer lines like “Buck stops here, yes?” this is so enjoyable and so reminiscent of the aforementioned Arnie and his over-the-top action flicks of the time that the only thing I’m unhappy with is the fact there are only four more issues to go. It’s a title that really stands out as something different, something only Marvel UK could’ve produced.

This is one of the best issues of Death’s Head yet for sheer fun value

We then get to briefly meet the senator whose witness is at the centre of all this violence and it appears our star isn’t exactly working for the good guys. Senator Letterman knows the only difference between Marshal Lek and terrorists are their uniforms and when he realises the extra law enforcement he ordered to escort him are handling a massive riot elsewhere in the city he demands they be called away.

The citizens can kill each other for all he cares, they’re all expendable as long as they’ve already voted for him, and the police aren’t the public’s, they’re his. Whether we see this horrible little squirt again or whether he’s just an example of the larger government I don’t know, but it does show that Death’s Head really is an anti-hero rather than an out-and-out goodie. He might do what’s morally right when the situation calls for it, but he’ll take a contract worth good money from anyone who can afford him. It makes for a more interesting character.

At the top of this review I mentioned a classic episode of Knight Rider and how excited I got with the editorial of this issue. Well, I can only imagine how excited I’d have been reading the page above (which ends the fight) without the foreknowledge of that introductory page. Also, on the penultimate page of the story the “conscientious objector” line from the cover is meant to be the final gag of the story. A shame both of these moments were somewhat spoiled already then.

But in a rare case for our main character, in this story he fails to do what he was hired to do. Beaten, Mayhem asks Death’s Head how many of his team has he killed. The tally stands at eight, to which Mayhem simply replies “Nine” before the building holding the witness explodes. Death’s Head had missed one. Lek laments, he believes Letterman will be taking a contract out on him next. As for Death’s Head’s response, it’s as typical as you’d expect from him.

As he simply packs up and leaves Lek with Mayhem I’ll admit I smiled. How very in-character. As per previous issues the final page is unrelated to the story and sets up a cliffhanger instead, this time involving a cigar-smoking horse(!) planning to kill Death’s Head. I’ll leave that for next month because we’ll need to read the next issue to make sense of that one, but for now we wrap up the first issue in the second half of the comic’s run (not that anyone knew this at the time).

It may not have had the most involving plot this month but that needn’t matter. I’m here for this character and this was a brilliant story for him. It gave him the perfect set up to unleash everything that made him so beloved by readers at the time (and still to this day). Full of action and comedy, this is one of the best issues of Death’s Head yet for sheer fun value. With four issues left I hope the momentum keeps up alongside some great stories. We’ll find out with #7’s review later this month on Monday 29th April 2024.

iSSUE FiVE < > iSSUE SEVEN

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

DOCTOR WHO MAGAZiNE #147: REMEMBRANCE OF THE SLEEZE

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Between the original publication dates of the previous issue of Doctor Who Magazine covered on the blog (#135, as part of the Death’s Head read through) and this one I’d finally discovered the TV series for myself. I’d grown up in a house where older siblings would have watched Tom Baker in the role so I was always aware of it and certain aspects such as the Daleks, the TARDIS etc., but it wasn’t until I saw those aforementioned meanies splashed across media outlets in 1988 that I decided to give it a go for myself. I’ve watched ever since.

I’ll get back to that below when I take a look at some other parts of this issue, but the reason it’s here on the OiNK Blog is because of those two cheeky Blues Brothers-esque characters peering out from behind the cover. After months of that teaser advert The Sleeze Brothers finally made their strip debut here and, according to Richard Starkings (Sleeze Brothers’ editor) this very well could be the only time creator-owned characters made the cover of DWM! This magazine’s editor (and friend of the blog) John Freeman concurs. John was the mag’s designer in the previous issue we looked at so he’s had a promotion since.

On the contents page you can see how the strip in introduced with its “plethora of artists” and that is indeed the case, with no less than five of Marvel UK’s finest bringing the characters to readers for the first time. Before we move on to the main event though, I couldn’t help but spot that little bit of optimism in the editorial about Doctor Who’s potential upswing in fortunes over the year ahead. Within the year the show would actually be cancelled.

So let’s get stuck into the first (mis-)adventure for El’ Ape and Deadbeat. As you can see from this first page we’ve got a who’s-who of Marvel UK talent responsible for the eight-page strip. John Carnell and Andy Lanning are the creators and alongside Andy on art duties are John Higgins, Kev Hopgood, Dougie Braithwaite and Dave Harwood. A greater selection of pencillers and inkers from my childhood (especially The Real Ghostbusters) would be hard to find. Then add in Slimer’s main artist Bambos Georgiou and this screams “classic” before I’ve even read one panel.

My first encounter with the brothers was with #1 of their own comic and only now, decades later, I’ve got my hands on this strip. Having only ever read #1, and not having done so since 1989, reading this prelude years after the fact doesn’t matter. My memory is so rubbish everything I knew about their comic is gone so this reads just as intended, as a fun little build-up to the chaos (hopefully) to come.

The Meddling Monk’s chameleon circuit hasn’t been damaged and his ship turns into a futuristic outside loo

We arrive on Earth on an undisclosed future date and catch a tantalising glimpse of the world the upcoming comic will have as its setting, which I’m hoping we’ll see a lot more of if this first page is anything to go by. TV series villain the Meddling Monk has landed to interfere in the upcoming election but the Seventh Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) isn’t far behind. Brilliantly, unlike the Doc’s TARDIS, the Monk’s chameleon circuit hasn’t been damaged and his ship still tries to disguise itself within its surroundings, turning into a futuristic outside loo.

The Doctor is in hot pursuit though and after damaging the brothers’ car the Monk flies off again before he can put his plan into action. But El’Ape isn’t having it, he needs his insurance details! Putting a gun to the Doctor’s head he tells him to “Follow that TARDIS!”, which is the name of the strip. Locking on to the other TARDIS the first stop is Tunguska, Siberia on 30th June 1908.

If you know your history you may have heard of the Tunguska Event, an explosion caused by a meteor air burst. Basically, an asteroid entered our atmosphere and exploded above the surface of the planet, the resulting burst of super hot air producing what many originally thought was the aftermath of a nuclear explosion. Ridiculous conspiracies grew up around the event and many fictional stories have laid claim to fantastical reasons behind it, this being one such tale.

The explosion (I love the “Kabooooomski!”) flattened over 2000 square kilometres of forest but thankfully there were no officially reported deaths, although some reports have indicated two people may have perished (presented here as survivors with their clothes burnt off their bodies and singed hair in Looney Tunes fashion). The Meddling Monk makes his way to three key historic events in total and each time El’ Ape’s attempts to catch him result in an origin story for said event.

While this is generally a zany comedy strip, I’m no longer sure about the next bit of the story.

That’s right, they end up on board the ill-fated maiden voyage of a certain ship built just down the road from my house. Now to be fair back in 1989 the wreckage of Titanic had only been found four years previous by Bob Ballard and it was popping up everywhere in popular fiction, but the movie which highlighted the tragedy of the lives lost was still eight years away. (The museum here in Belfast that I’ve visited countless times was still 23 years away!) But with hindsight, with much more knowledge today of the sinking and the human cost, this feels in particularly bad taste nowadays.

I know that was never the intention, I hope I’ve made that clear, but I review all of the comics on the blog as I find them today. Convinced the Monk’s TARDIS has disguised itself as a giant iceberg up ahead (no, really) El’ Ape takes control and goes full ahead to ram him and hopefully sink his TARDIS and capture him. The sequence finishes with the silhouette of the ship going down, a few lifeboats of survivors being all that’s left of life on board and the sound effect of the TARDIS.

Not only does this not sit well with me but I just don’t think the Doctor would ever have allowed it to happen. The Tunguska Event is one thing, in this version it just singed a couple of people. Then the final event in the strip involves the Bermuda Triangle as Flight 19 (each time period brought to the page by a different artistic team really works a treat) is accidentally taken through time. But we know the Titanic saw the deaths of over 1,500 people. That’s not something for the Doctor to basically think, ‘Whoops, better get out of here before I’m caught’!

Throughout the strip Deadbeat has his nose in a book which he seems to be getting more and more engrossed by as the story goes on. On the last page we see he wasn’t ignoring what was happening around him, in fact each time he was trying to stop his brother from causing these bad things to happen, almost as if he knew what consequences their actions were going to have. As the story draws to a close the Doctor kicks the brothers out of his TARDIS and takes off with the captured Monk, then Deadbeat throws his book away and we finally see what he was reading all along.

Okay, so exactly why was the sinking of the Titanic in a book about ‘Unexplained Mysteries and Disasters’? Anyway, despite the passage of time and the acquiring of much Titanic knowledge (it’s become a fascination of mine this past decade or so) resulting in one part of this strip taking on a whole new meaning, I can appreciate when it was written and that I probably would’ve just found it daft at the time. However, The Sleeze Brothers themselves have definitely made an impression.

They may not be much more than a spot of comic relief, and the whole story could be summed up that way as well, but they’re really fun comic relief. Despite essentially no information on who they are or why they guest starred in this Doctor Who strip (if you didn’t know their own comic was on the way), they still come across as well defined characters, as clear individuals with potential depth. As a tease for what’s to come it’s made me impatient for their premiere issue.

Right now though, I want to take a quick dive into one particular subject in the rest of this issue of Doctor Who Magazine.

The last time I showed a strip from DWM I also included what was a brief mention of an up and coming Doctor Who story called Remembrance of the Daleks. It would be part of the 25th series’ anniversary celebrations and the first appearance of his longest-surviving enemies for the Seventh Doctor. Because of this, marketing went into overdrive and the Daleks were everywhere. The hype pulled me right in and I can remember sitting down to watch part one of that story in my bedroom.

I was amazed by it. It seemed like a completely different show to the one I’d seen my older siblings watch years before. Several months after its transmission this issue published an episode guide for the season, an interview with the story’s writer and plenty of discussion about what still remains (36 years later) one of my very favourite stories from the show. While it’s a bit cheeky to say the eight-page episode guide is “free” on the cover (in reality the issue was only four more pages than normal), it does contain that lovely opening page above on glossy paper.

It’s less of an episode guide and more of a list of things that were left out from the final production, but it stills bring back happy memories of the four weeks it was on and the anticipation for the next part after each belter of a cliffhanger. Much more in-depth is the four-page interview with writer Ben Aaronovitch. Given this was his first commissioned strip for the show it’s a hell of an ambitious first foray into the world of the Doctor.

There are some interesting nuggets of information there such as the fact there was meant to be more of a focus on the whole “more than just a Time Lord” thing, which reminds me of the recent Timeless Child story that also injected some much needed mystery back into the character, and which I’m excited to see play out in future seasons. Also, when Ben mentions that ‘Masters of the Universe’ thing, it’s a reference to Dalek flying gun platforms based on something similar in the awful He-Man film from 1987. BBC budgets being what they were, this was changed to the Special Weapons Dalek, a fan favourite design to this day. 

Elsewhere, a writer by the name of David J. Howe is adamant that Remembrance has to have been set in an alternative universe because it simply doesn’t gel with his own conclusions about the Doctor’s past from previous series. This sounds an awful lot like certain ‘fans’ online in recent years and in a piece by Gary Russell about the story The Greatest Show in the Galaxy it appears certain types aren’t confined to the modern era and social media (check out that middle paragraph).

Finally, on the back page is an advert for the William Tell graphic novel. This collected together the unpublished strips created for a new fortnightly comic that was cancelled before it had even launched (advertised in Marvel UK comics the previous year). With that, it’s time to wrap up this jaunt back to 1989 aboard the TARDIS and look forward to the first issue of The Sleeze Brothers proper.

As I’ve said previously I only ever read the first issue of their comic at the time and haven’t since 1989, yet the way they acted in this tiny tease of a strip feels so familiar to me. The idea of full-length, full-colour strips on a monthly basis with these two as the stars is almost too much excitement to contain for another three months! But that’s what I must do because the review of #1 of The Sleeze Brothers won’t be here until Monday 24th June 2024.

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