What a year it’s been. Actually, what a couple of years it’s been! For a lot of us it’s been a tough one, I’m sure. For me personally I was unemployed for a lot of the year, obviously couldn’t see friends as much and have found the whole situation stressful at times. But hardest of all was losing someone very dear to me. This wasn’t related to the pandemic, but because of it I was only able to see her a couple of times in the last year of her life. However, that same person gave me the best advice anyone has ever given me in my wanting to build some form of writing career:
“Just do it.”
So I took that advice and the first step was relaunching this blog on its own domain and I’ve loved every second of it. Your feedback has been amazing, the socials have lit up and I’ve really enjoyed writing it all year, with material for several more (you’ll either be happy or indifferent to hear). With this first stage of many now settled and the blog coming along nicely, I have plans for the next one.
So even though it’s clichéd to talk about New Year plans and stuff like that, for me it’s quite accurate for once. I’m not going to go into details yet for fear of jinxing things, but if things work out then 2021 will be a year I look back on with sadness, but thanks to that dear friend it’ll also be one I’m grateful for.
So yes, I have very mixed feelings as we wrap up the year. However, with enthusiasm for the one ahead I hope we can all have a Happy New Year together. I’ll see you back here very soon.
On the final day of 1988 there was just enough time to squeeze in one final issue of Barrie Tomlinson‘s Wildcat before the new year. Kicking off with Ian Kennedy‘s interpretation of José Ortiz‘s Kitten Magee strip, the cover includes the tagline ‘The Ultimate Adventure’. I remember associating this with the comic as a kid, so it’s strange to see it appear for the first time only now. Perhaps it’ll pop up again. For now though, let’s see if the inside matches the hype.
The Arglons have dispatched two of their own Terrosaurons to kill Turbo Jones atop his own dino in the opening strip. Controlled by computerised radio waves, these are detected by Robo before they even get close. Very quickly he’s jamming the signal and any hope of control over the creatures is lost. The Ark doesn’t take too kindly to their great plan being thwarted and soon the general in charge is on the chopping block. It appears these skeletal figures have zero tolerance for failures.
Having already attacked Turbo’s Terrosauron and getting a taste for blood, when the commands are interrupted the others attack the nearest target, which is each other. Limbs are torn off, gaping wounds in full view and we young readers loved it. It felt so gory to us.
Now easily able to pick off the enemy Turbo finishes the fight and returns to the main base of operations where he finds out about an underground defence system, a huge electronic fence which is activated and surrounds the city. That’s it as far as plot goes but this episode was all about the fight, the big battle between the three giant Terrosaurons. While I can’t remember reading it at the time, I’m sure I loved it as it would’ve been right up my street.
As an adult I do miss the plot developments, the intrigue around The Ark and Turbo’s growth as a character. But sometimes it’s just fun to have a completely ludicrous, over-sized battle! In the final panel Turbo says the enemy is trapped inside the city behind the fence, so they can pick them off more easily. Has he forgotten they got in via a tunnel? We’ll find out next time I’m sure. It’s throwaway stuff but fun, and I’m only a little disappointed because the comic has set such high standards for itself.
It’s clear power has gone to this man’s head. Does he truly believe he is a god?
More interesting for this old man is another much older man in the Joe Alien story by David Robinson, as the human who seems to be the leader of the killer plant life tells his story. He was the sole astronaut on the first manned rocket heading for Mars. At the time of Wildcat’s publication we never thought it’d happen any time soon, so his tale takes place in 2079. Travelling through an asteroid belt one of the huge rocks begins to open up, drawing his craft inside like a scene from You Only Live Twice.
He makes reference to it looking like “jaws” and with that word choice I can’t help but make the comparison to the big fish from my favourite movie of all time. The asteroid itself, as drawn by Ron Smith, bares a striking resemblance to Steven Spielberg‘s classic movie monster, right down to the oversized jowls (needed on the mechanical shark in Jaws for its mouth to open and close without folding or breaking the rubber skin). I’m really rather thrilled to see this as a fan of the movie and this comic, I love seeing inspiration from one turning up in the other.
Upon arriving on the continent where our adventure is taking place a great war was being fought between the trees and the other vegetation. There’s always a great war behind these stories isn’t there? As you can see in this gloriously illustrated page below he negotiated a peace between the two sides. But how, when the participants in the war couldn’t speak? This question is asked by one of Joe’s men later in the issue. An explanation is given about how the plants can absorb sound as vibrations in the ground through their roots, and how they had spent hundreds of years studying our radio waves to learn our language.
As the years passed the man aged very slowly compared to back on Earth, so generations of plant life passed before his eyes and eventually they began seeing him as a kind of god. His word is now law and when one of Joe’s team makes a joke about the plants the old man punches him with the force of ten, sending him flying into the water where he’s attacked by vicious teeth-baring vegetation. It’s clear power has gone to this man’s head. Does he truly believe he is a god? It feels like a story from the Stargate SG-1 TV series, albeit several years before it.
The standout thing here is Ron’s art. His style perfectly compliments the story and setting, his characters really embody what they’re saying, Joe is the best he’s ever looked and the flashbacks are extraordinary and fascinating. Incredible artwork. Simply gorgeous. While Loner may still be my favourite, Joe’s strip is running a very close second which I didn’t expect when I started this read through. Saying that, all the strips are so good this changes on a regular basis.
James Tomlinson‘s Kitten Magee takes a break from relentless fighting to advance her story a little. She saved herself from the bomb last time by grabbing her teammate and leaping into one of the holes bored by the tribal robots. So the fat alien Hobos decides it’s time to try a different tactic. Pretending to save her life from a threat of his own creation (a destabilising beam making Kitten lose balance just before this page below), he befriends the women and tells them he’ll lead them through the dangerous jungle to his village.
There’s one disappointing aspect of the story here, and that’s how easily the other four members of the team trust Hobos. Only Kitten herself is unsure, thinking he’s too friendly, too nice and appeared at too convenient a time for this all to be coincidence. The other members of the team have all been so capable and interesting in the previous issues it’s a shame to see them played for fools so easily.
We do get a little bit of action as a torg-lion attacks the group, the one we saw on the cover. Hobos’ plan seems to be to lead them through the most dangers part of the continent, using a scent of raw meat to attract the biggest, most vicious predators out into the open. Of course Kitten wins this battle, pricking the animal with the pointed edge of her poison-filled ring. Just when I thought I’d seen all of her cool jewellery-based weaponry too.
There are still many questions needing answered here, not least of which is why Hobos was determined to kill the women in the first place. Is it a male thing? Are women a threat? Even alien women? I know we’ll get our answers eventually, so don’t for one moment think this is any kind of complaint because it isn’t. The story does feel like it could be heading towards some answers over the next few issues, which is exciting. Kitten remains an interesting character and the one most shrouded in mystery in the whole comic.
That cover by Ian Kennedy is a fantastic piece of art, as are all of his covers across the range of Barrie’s comics I’m reviewing (Ring Raiders and Super Naturals being the others). He gets a bit of further recognition on the letters page this issue and yes, that monster is one of his designs from the premiere issue.
Loner, written by editor Barrie Tomlinson is up next and if you thought the scale of what he was up against was massive in that final image last issue, then you haven’t seen anything yet, to use a cliché. I can remember this snake-like monster but I had no idea of just how big it was. In fact, it’s so big that in the first panel of this chapter we only get to see a few teeth next to our hero and his now rather pathetic looking new gun.
My overall opinion of this instalment of my favourite Wildcat strip is, just when I thought David Pugh‘s art couldn’t possibly get any more spectacular he blows me away again, and a lot more successfully than Loner’s attempt to do so with the beast above. But seriously, just look at that first panel, those teeth and that tusk look so solid, so terrifying that I’m sure I was in awe of it back in 1988. This was playing to everything kids would want from a new sci-fi adventure. However, as always I review these comics as I read them now, without the rose-tinted glasses, as a man in his mid-40s.
And I bloody loved it!
We even get to see the thing asleep at one stage, it’s head full of thick veins, it’s eyes popping open suddenly as the tiny Loner nears. It’s all incredibly atmospheric. I can’t show you it all obviously, that’s what the graphic novel collecting this entire story is for, but I can show you some of the other highlights of this issue’s chapter. Complete with ridiculously large brain hooked up to the equally ridiculous helmet, Loner discovers the ground of the beast’s layer is covered with thousands upon thousands of tiny little skulls.
I actually felt sorry for the little furballs with him, seeing generations of their kind dead all around them. It’s at this point the burgeoning relationship between Loner and these little critters, as unlikely as it seemed a few issues ago, solidifies. Anger fills his very being at seeing the skulls. Whether he likes it or not his cold, hard persona is warming to these little beings and he begins to track down the monster again, which has moved deeper into the caves. Bent on revenge, we’re left with no doubt that the odds against him aren’t relevant anymore.
This friendship and how it developed slowly over the course of a handful of issues is something I still remember all these years later, although I can’t remember any of the details so it’s a delight to be reading it again in real time. Instead of bingeing, I’m getting the developing friendship in fortnightly stages as intended and it doesn’t feel rushed or forced in any way, and that’s pretty incredible when you think about the scenario here and who these characters are. It’s so far-fetched and yet feels so natural, a testament to the writers behind it, namely Barrie and his son James Tomlinson.
Just when the odds against Loner’s survival (never mind his success) seem stacked enough against him, the beast releases its minions and these aren’t the small, yellow, goggle-wearing kind. These minions of death wouldn’t look out of place in an adult comic today but here they were in the pages of our Wildcat, terrifying the youth. Although not directly referenced here, these are the beings from #1. Of course Loner is the cool hero when he wants to be and he skillfully dispatches them with his telepathic weaponry before the beast itself moves in for the kill, and the cliffhanger.
The little pieces of character development and banter between him and the furballs are nice touches and advance things a little in the overall story, but this is really all about the hunt and finally coming up against this monstrosity. But it doesn’t feel like the plot has been left to the side for the action, it’s all nicely balanced. David’s artwork is so incredible I’m completely absorbed in it every issue, and while it’s an exaggeration to say my breath is taken away each time, I’ll say it to get across just how much I’m enjoying this.
The Wildcat Complete is called Moon of Terror and concerns pilot Kurby being sent to one of the moons orbiting the planet after a previous crew went missing upon landing. Unable to spare more crew members they have to send Kurby alone. Barrie and his writing team really are stacking up the death count.
Artist Jesús Redondo returns (he supplied the art for #2‘s Wildcat Complete) and his shuttle craft bares a striking resemblance to a certain television show’s fighter craft. I mentioned before about the similarities between the Wildcat story and that of Battlestar Galactica even though that was more coincidence than anything else. Jesús’ shuttle could easily have been influenced by that show’s Vipers. Or it could simply be another coincidence and they were based upon real world jet aircraft. Either way, I like the design.
The cloud cover is so dense all of his computer equipment can’t track the ground and when he comes out of the blackness he’s already too close. After impact his shuttle explodes and so he goes to find the missing crew, hoping the Wildcat will send another rescue ship. At least it’s looking hopeful. After all, they may have just crashed and lost contact for the same reason he has. But as he explores he’s attacked by some form of mutant creature that tries to kill him.
“Don’t want me eating your fruit, eh? One thing I can’t stand is a selfish mutant.”
Kurby
He’s able to break free and shoots it just before being set upon by another. At this stage I’d worked out what was going on. I’m not sure if I would have when I was just eleven-years-old, not having been exposed to many sci-fi stories at that point in my life. A third mutant appears just as Kurby is about to get stuck into some of the local fruit for sustenance. Thinking it’s just another attack and the creature is swatting away the fruit to get to him and kill him, he kills it too. Exhausted, he sits down and eats.
You can see the mutant creatures are humanoid in nature and have a distinct face so I’m sure you can also see where this is going. Unknowingly, Kurby has just picked off the three Wildcat crew members he was sent to save, who had been transformed by eating the same fruit. I do like Jesús’ action man panels of Kurby firing directly towards the reader as he’s attacked. Kurby comes across as quite arrogant in the story but that’s the point I think. We humans are out amongst the stars but still we think we know everything about the world around us, that we are lords of all that we survey.
As you can see the story ends with him slowly turning into one of the mutants himself, the horrible truth about what he’s done becoming apparent. The last mutant swiping the fruit away was doing so as a warning, not an attack. As he transforms he knows the Wildcat will send another team, that he’ll try to warn them, that they’ll kill him and the cycle will repeat. Human arrogance will see the small population dwindle by how many more before it stops?
For now, the death toll six issues in stands at 18 if we include Kurby himself. Maybe this is why the comic stopped at #12, there was no one else to write about!
The Next Issue page is printed sideways and taken over by this picture of Turbo and a Terrosaurus. Is this his dinosaur? I wonder. But given the excitement of the Loner strip I’m surprised that isn’t the story to feature here. Finally on the back cover is this issue’s pin up and it appears these two are continuing their partnership for now anyway.
So that’s us officially at the halfway point of the comic’s regular run already. The next issue, the first of the new year, will be here on Friday 14th January 2022. This has been a blast and at six issues in it’s already far better than its already impressive start. The next six are going to be phenomenal. I hope.
The Christmas festivities may still be upon us but you wouldn’t know it from the latest edition of Dark Horse International‘s Jurassic Park from 1993. Released just three days after Christmas Day itself there’s not a hint of snow or any festive wishes for its readers. The cover is really special though and the first by Michael Golden to feature on the UK title. I love its mix of the natural and technological (the computer circuits in the background), perfectly summing up the world of Jurassic Park in one gorgeous and eye-catching piece of art.
What it does have are the next chapters in its three fantastic strips and a competition that takes me right back to late nights in bed exploring Isla Nublar on a tiny little electronic screen. It’s another phone-in and states it’s been made particularly easy for all to enter, then goes and continues its tradition of misspelling the island name! But let’s not fuss, the screenshots here may not look like much compared to today’s games but this was such fun to play and kept me awake far past lights out on many a school night.
In the second part of the first official follow-up to the film, as InGen attempt to recapture all the dinosaurs they ignore Dr Alan Grant‘s warnings that there are more Velociraptors out in the wild, so Alan and Dr Ellie Satler decide to take things into their own hands. They head for the other side of the island, scientific reasoning given for every step they take in tracking the animals. They end up on a beach searching caves and in the background a little boat putt-putts along the coast in some scenic panels by penciller Armando Gill and inker Dell Barras (Samsona, Conan the Barbarian, Batman) who criminally wasn’t mentioned in the previous issue’s credits. This is a shame because his deep blacks and line work bring a real sense of action amid a gritty, realistic atmosphere.
There are some nice references to the other surviving characters from the film and where they are now, all of which track with the as yet unwritten sequels, before a new character literally pops up, having come from that small boat I mentioned. After The Lost World this new addition of big game hunter George Lawala may not seem that original, but remember this was published just a few months after the first film. Amongst the dark caves colourist (and story editor) Renée Witterstaetter gives his entrance a burst of surprising colour, matching the sudden change of pace.
He instantly recognises the duo as a threat to his income, resulting in a chase deeper into the cave. He picked this particular cave to land because of its cover, easy access and the fact it’s far from the humans on the island, unaware of what could be living within. Alan and Ellie are fully aware (in fact they’d already deduced this was the perfect spot) but have no choice but to run further inside. The chase is rather exciting, the deep colours and camera angels drawing us in until we turn the page and both us and the characters are confronted with the ‘raptors.
George will be key in developing the story further and, eventually, in getting us off the island for the first time in the franchise. For now though this is our cliffhanger for another month after a dramatic, beautifully drawn eight-page adventure. Again, the Jurassic Park strip has the least pages of the three stories but it doesn’t feel like that while reading, and where it’s been cut into parts by editor Dick Hansom we’ve ended up with two opening chapters that feel very different from each other (even though they were part of the same issue in the States), as if it was written for this format.
Mark Schultz‘s Xenozoic Tales is next up and it’s the second half of the story from last time. The mysterious lizard people that appeared to be kidnapping Hannah Dundee are revealed to be The Grith, a race of people who work with the Earth to grow both their own health and that of the planet. Despite correctly identifying humans as fighting against the Earth, Jack Tenrec was able to befriend them, communicating through a system of ancient tiles, the meaning of which have been lost to time. They might seem familiar to the reader though.
They appear to be a peaceful race but as you’ll see from the end of this chapter they’re quite capable of defending themselves, their friends and the Earth from any danger. The fact they can use the Scrabble tiles (a funny touch to the story) might be because they’re descended from ancient humans, or from other creatures that were around at that time, or maybe there’s some other, simpler reason behind how they can communicate this way. They’re also so in tune with the planet they’re able to predict an earthquake about to hit a cliffside farming community, so Jack and Hannah set off to save them.
Their journey takes them through deep caverns and past a huge, sleeping lizard monster. They must sneak past or be devoured! But the beast wakes up, sees our heroes and simply goes back to sleep, completely disinterested. I love these little moments in Xenozoic Tales that run contrary to our expectations. The stories are full of them. Funny moments also include The Grith making gestures with their bodies and Jack explaining how difficult it has been to communicate with them, priding himself on the use of the tiles. But of course, Hannah is able to decipher their body language easily, completely stealing Jack’s thunder.
For some reason The Grith trust Hannah. They can foretell she’ll help them, so her protestations and claims she’ll report all of this to the council back in the city fall on Jack’s deaf ears; he knows once The Grith have decided to trust her, that’s it. It makes for more crackling dialogue between the pair. But just before things can be wrapped up with a neat bow and a happy ending, we get a glimpse into the darker side of these new additions to the story.
This feels like it’s building on the way the Velociraptors communicated in Jurassic Park
Gorgostamos, a man who had pretended to help Hannah find Jack last issue (as a trap to kill both her and Tenrec) comes face to face with at least one of them, and when we return to him all we see are these rather grisly final panels below. Was this to defend our heroes? Was there no other way? Or are The Grith more capable of violence than Jack thinks?
Jurassic Park would only print a selection of Mark’s strips because most were in black and white and this was a full-colour publication. (This story was reprinted by Marvel US in a colour edition around this time, coloured by Christine Couturier). Thankfully Dick brings in some local artists to colour some as the series continues. I do hope we don’t miss out on any of the answers this intriguing strip continues to raise every month.
Finally it’s time to return to the Cretaceous era and Ricardo Delgado‘s sublime Age of Reptiles. Last time a huge Tyrannosaurus rex stole the newly killed dinner of a pack of Deinonycuses, killing one of them in the process in what was actually a very funny moment. This issue kicks off with them returning to their nest and communicating via sound and body movements what had just happened. Even though it was created before the movie was released, this feels like it’s building on the way the Velociraptors communicated in Jurassic Park. It’s clear they’re now out for revenge.
But first we get a few pages of the T-rex simply making his way back home, through forests and across large expanses of water. The art here is gorgeous and I find myself taking more time to ‘read’ this strip than either of the others. I just want to take in all the details, not only in the characterisations on the faces and bodies of the animals (which really do tell the story) but in the backgrounds too. Just look at this page below and you’ll see what I mean. Taking up a full page with these two panels of him simply walking home could be seen as dragging out the scene if it weren’t for Ricardo’s art, which demands this kind of space.
As you drink in these pages it also deliberately slows down the story. Ricardo is a master of pacing. You simply can’t rush through this, and if you did you’d be losing out. Just because there’s not one single written word, no captions, no sound effects screaming off the page, doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to this in terms of characterisation, drama and scene building, and it only gets more intense as the months go on.
It’s so unfortunate the comic wouldn’t keep to this format for very long but we’ll get to that next year
When he returns to his nest we see his family waiting. He lovingly rubs heads with the female looking after their eggs, while the other looks on a bit jealously, although we do find out she is the mother of the adolescent T.rex, who is currently learning to hunt by chasing a small creature about the rocks and trees. I felt transported back to this time and involved in the natural lives of dinosaurs like no prose story or documentary before it.
Subsequent Jurassic Park/World movies have built upon the original’s emphasis on dinosaurs just being animals, not the monsters of older films and books. Age of Reptiles does a great job of this too, and moments like the one below remind me of the Tyrannosaur family from The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
This instalment ends with the Deinonychuses sneaking into the nest at night and stealing all of those eggs, but the adolescent awakes and raises the alarm. Giving chase, our male closes in on them as they dart through the forest, but eventually the smaller, more agile dinos leap across a chasm and escape, the T.rex left roaring into the night. I remember roughly how this develops and it’s well worth sticking around for. Brilliant, beautiful stuff.
What a superb issue! The three strips come together to create a whole that’s hugely entertaining yet again. Yes, they may be cut down every month and as previously explained this wasn’t technically necessary, but with the three of them side-by-side like this they never felt like anything but three complete strips every issue. It’s so unfortunate that it wouldn’t keep to this format for very long but we’ll get to that next year. Before we go though, a quick look at the adverts within its pages, including news of a new magazine from Dark Horse which sounded awful to me as a kid.
I loved my computer games magazines (in particular Commodore Format and GamesMaster) but the idea of something like that with lots of comic strips in it felt like a gimmick. Although I wasn’t sure if the gimmick was comic strips in a gaming magazine, or gaming features in a comic; it sounded confused. Elsewhere, a chain of comic shops uses a painfully strenuous link to the comic to justify its advert, and a comics and sci-fi merchandise shop I’ve never heard of takes the inside back cover. It’s rather quaint seeing these now, what with comic shops being so much more prevalent today, but back then mail order was much more necessary.
So as far as Jurassic Park‘s stories go and where they’ve left us this month, it appears there’s a lot to look forward to in 2022. Or should I say 1994. The new year of dinosaur action kicks off on Tuesday 25th January.
Growing up in a small town in Northern Ireland I’d never heard of the word ‘Hogmanay’ before reading this in 1986, so initially thought it was an OiNK pun on some Scottish word about the New Year. But really it’s just the best possible way to celebrate for this comic, so much so that both of the issues published to celebrate the New Year in OiNK’s run would have the same theme. The cover by legendary cartoonist John Geering sums it all up rather perfectly; this is a celebration of Scotland and its culture just as much as it is the festivities.
A new character who might like to think he’s cultured is new addition Barrington Bosh he’s incredibly Po$h, brought to the page by fellow Northern Irelander Ian Knox. Given how much I remember of this particular posh little git I was surprised to find out he only appeared in nine issues of OiNK altogether, normally with long gaps between strips. To say he was posh is actually a huge understatement, the whole point being to push this to the extreme every time. This debut story is the perfect introduction.
Bosh did absolutely nothing for himself and this was the basis for his entire life and thus every appearance. Everyday tasks were something he’d never even consider doing himself and the creative ways he and his staff would get around them were hilarious to us kids. The strip was also a biting satire of the difference between upper and lower class people in the UK and that old saying, “How the other half lives”.
Back in #7 I showed you a brief glimpse at Hugo the Hungry Hippo‘s cameo appearance in cartoonist David Haldane‘s other creation, Rubbish Man. There, Hugo popped by to do what he does best, to eat. He also inadvertently saved the day for our smelly superhero and it appears he’s a bit of a fan because he’s dolled himself up in very familiar garb for a fancy dress party for the New Year.
One of my favourite additions to any issue of OiNK was also written and drawn by David. Little quarter-page entries of animals just living their normal anthropomorphic lives always had me in stitches, especially because this was mixed with their abilities as animals. Also, some would appear in clothes, others would be more wild. By all means Zootown made no sense but I don’t think any part of it was ever meant to!
Before we move on to some of the multitude of Scottish strips and gags here are a couple of other highlights in this issue. As ever Burp has another strong entry and to be honest it’d be so easy for me to include his page in every single review. He’s been invited to a Hogmanay party and it all kicks off with this funny invite. One of Banx‘s other strips is the always hilarious Hector Vector and his Talking T-Shirt, though surely he should’ve had a coat on this time.
I mentioned Scottish culture earlier and we can’t do that without mentioning Robbie Burns, surely? OiNK thought so. The comic just had in Burp and it’s not finished with him yet. The poet’s work is described as “spontaneous and direct” and it fell upon Steve Gibson to conjure up a suitable parody. He knocks it out of the park. Taking Burns’ To A Mouse as his inspiration he renames it The Beastie. Complete with typical Gibson art, unmistakable in the beastie itself, here’s Hoggy Burns.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing was sacred to OiNK. This was especially true when it came to those bastions of the comics world, the unstoppable forces of The Dandy and The Beano (well, at least Beano is still unstoppable). A favourite target of Uncle Pigg’s, the two comics were held in high regard by co-editor and head writer Mark Rodgers who had great fun in sending them up quite regularly. For the Scottish issue there was no better strip ripe for this treatment than The Dandy’s Jocks vs Geordies.
The strip was still running in 1986 and involved two schools situated across the Scotland/England border from each other. The boys who made up the gangs from each school were deliberately clichéd, already parodies of sorts. They’d play ever more violent tricks on each other but would always end up being punished for it by their teachers. Neither side was immune either, winning or losing roughly the same amount of times as each other.
“Ay, weel, there’s mony a mickle maks a muckle!”
Teach Yourself Glaswegian
Mark took the concept behind the original strip and decided to poke fun at its repetitive nature and the fact it had been running for so long. (The pupils had been duking it out on a weekly basis for 11 years by this stage.) This was a regular theme to OiNK’s parodies of these comics and here it’s played out particularly well in the ending, with art by Marc Riley.
It’s time to take a closer look at the country providing the laughs, again written by Mark. What we need is an expert in the subject matter. Failing that, how about a young lad who simply thinks he’s an expert in all subjects but in reality is the master of none. Of course, bringing in Hadrian Vile has at least one benefit, it means Ian Jackson will be providing the art.
With Hadrian’s information it’s clear he’s read the names of the places throughout the country and taken them to mean something completely different. Every single time. Take your time to appreciate all the little jokes and references as you take your tour around the highlands and lowlands. There are too many here for me to pick out a definitive favourite but the town of Dornoch and the hamlet of Inchadamph get particularly funny entries for me.
I have a soft spot for Scotland most definitely but at age nine I wasn’t aware of most of these real places, however it was no less funny. You’ll have spotted some of the best gags come from Hadrian’s grasp of Scottish words. Just a little later in the comic Mark took this a step further with a full page dedicated to helping the readers Teach Yourself Glaswegian, drawn by Mike Green.
Expect plenty of dialogue, with each sentence accompanied by an asterisk pointing towards the apparent English translation. It doesn’t take long before it gets completely ridiculous of course and certain parts of England are also being subjected to a little gentle teasing here, as some of the translations sound overtly stuck up. I remember showing this to my sister’s Scottish husband once and he roared laughing, particularly at the fifth panel, which is my particular favourite too. Enjoy.
We’re down to the final few pages and I’ve broken away from the subject matter to show you the first entry in a semi-regular series of comedy adventure strips. We all know which television series this was based upon which starred a famous dog. But take that dog, replace him with a pig, make his owner completely useless, exaggerate the already far-fetched skills of the animal hero and then have one more funny twist in the final panels. Written by Tony Husband and drawn by Chas Sinclair here’s Lashy the Wonder Pig.
A genius piece of scripting and loveable art make this a highlight of the whole issue. He proved popular too, returning several times throughout OiNK’s run, although with a selection of different names. Known as Laffy, Lashie, Lattie, Laxxie, Lammie, Lazzie, Laggie, Lappie and Larry the series would keep certain staples running such as his owner always falling down a pit (even when he was nowhere near one), the ever more ludicrous feats of daring by our pig and the constant reminder that his intelligence wasn’t on par with his bravery! Hilarious every single time.
Here’s the back page before we finish off. The team decided to run their own awards, mimicking the likes of the Oscars and BAFTAS, the hype for which always begins as soon as each new year does. But this wouldn’t be just any old awards. We weren’t being asked to vote for our favourite characters or cartoonists from within OiNK’s pages, oh no. Biggest Wally, Worst Pop Group, Most Irritating DJ and even Worst Comic. This would be fun to take part in.
It was even more fun when the prizes were given out. Tony and Patrick would call upon the crew at Spitting Image for a photo shoot and one of the winners would even be on hand to accept their award in person! That’s still some way off in #30 though.
The first issue of 1987, the only calendar year that OiNK would be on sale from beginning to end, would have a Health and Fitness theme. It is the season of good intentions after all. So don’t just walk back here, run to the donut shop first and then settle down to more hog highlights on Monday 10th January 2022! See you then.
Super Naturals and Wildcat may have been released a year apart but they shared more than their editor, their fifth issues were also their festive specials. I’m a huge fan of Christmas but even I would’ve forgiven the Super Naturals team for not going overboard since the comic had just begun, however editor Barrie Tomlinson made sure it was a special treat with festive themes in four of the five strips, as well as an additional one-page strip, decorative trimmings around the letters page, a Christmassy poster and that fun Ian Kennedycover of the Ghost Finder and its crew.
The issue is dated Boxing Day but would’ve been released early, arriving into eager young hands a few days before Christmas Day which, given the cover and the contents would’ve made for a wonderful treat. I just can’t help but feel happy when reading a seasonal issue of a favourite comic and this is one of the very best examples. Ghost stories always go down well at this time of year too, so surely this is a comic that can’t fail to entertain. Let’s see.
I was surprised when I picked up this issue because the glossy paper had gone, replaced with the same matte-finish stock all other Fleetway comics had at the time. But that doesn’t take away from any of the enjoyment in our first story, The Legend of the Super Naturals drawn by Dave D’Antiquis, which quite literally heads off in a different direction. The battle in New Orleans comes to its conclusion but not before Eagle Eye‘s predicament raises some interesting questions.
He’s injured when fired upon by an Air Force jet while in his eagle persona, but when he changes back to his humanoid form he’s healed and the bullets pass straight through him. The healing part has already been established in the comic, he’s already dead after all, and they can’t actually kill each other never mind us having a shot at it. But it appears they don’t turn into mystical versions of their animal totems, they must actually turn into real, solid animals, capable of being killed. It certainly adds another dimension to the set up and one I hope is explored more. For now, he’s rescued by Spooks before Skull decides to take his team across the Atlantic (the trucks can fly) to England to destroy the mythical Excalibur and show them evil now rules. Told you it was heading off in a different direction for the new year!
In Ghostlings, drawn by Anthony Williams, we get confirmation it is indeed set on Earth in the far future where humans have regressed and now live in fear underground, calling themselves Guardians of the Underworld (so our self-importance hasn’t diminished then). What they live in fear of are the Surface Stompers, the dinosaur-like creatures we’ve seen already and the Crevice-Crawlers which are giant, intelligent, talking insect-like beings that prey on humans for food. Spooks is rescued by these future humans when he becomes trapped amongst rocks after being pushed over a cliff by Weird Wolf. I’ll assume it’s his clothing that’s stuck, not him, seeing as how he’s a ghost and all.
We can finally put to rest the myth that The Doll was produced for another comic
While trapped his supernatural powers are able to recognise the time of year on this future Earth as Christmas and he reminisces about when he was alive centuries earlier. When he’s rescued he discovers the humans have a Christmas tree in their caves, although they don’t recognise the name, only that it’s a tradition they follow despite the meaning being lost centuries ago. The story ends with a cliffhanger for Weird Wolf as he encounters the beasts above ground. There’s also mention of a Rock-Ruler, so there’s definitely more scenario building to come. While Christmas feels a bit forced into this one, it’s still as interesting as last issue and shows the potential for Super Naturals stories to really go anywhere.
Moving on and hopefully the setting in our next strip can finally put to rest the myth that The Doll was produced for another comic (and just published within the pages of Super Naturals). I’ve known this all along but some online refuse to accept such a quality horror strip was intended for a licenced toy comic. In this seasonal issue the strip jumps forward a little, the ground is covered in snow as the police pull the body of the dead homeless man from the skip outside the Marshal’s home, while an evil figure watches from the roof, where clearly it’s been gleefully watching for a while as it’s covered in a thick layer of snow. Even his hands appear to have not moved. Creepy.
After Simon saves his foster dad from a falling roof slate (I wonder how that happened), noticing how his younger brother David didn’t even flinch when it fell, the story skips forward to Christmas Day. Peace has descended upon the house. It’s clear the doll’s presence hasn’t been felt in a while and David is glum as the family open gifts from each other. This doesn’t go unnoticed and the Marshals try hard to cheer him up, even giving him a brand new ventriloquist’s dummy! A window smashes at this exact moment and it’s assumed vandals threw something from outside, but Simon isn’t so sure.
The glass is all on the outside, meaning it was broken from inside the house. But how? A game of hide and seek brings the answers out into the open but first I do love a certain moment here. First, look at the one above on the right where Simon is convinced the doll was responsible but he can’t see anywhere for it to hide. Of course the readers’ eyes are drawn to the Santa Claus ornament on the side table, but it’s the next panel which I’m sure stuck in the minds of all those young readers, as Simon turns to leave.
Artist Francesc Masi is just superb at conveying real threat from what is essentially a toy. Again, the suspense is palpable in this chapter. What on the surface might’ve looked like a diversion from the main story to placate the Christmas issue is anything but. A game of hide and seek in the house builds tension with Simon hiding in dark, cramped places, hearing noises but then just discovering other family members in there with him.
Meanwhile foster father Frank sneaks about the house looking for everyone when he comes across the new dummy torn to pieces, then hears a terrible scream as the doll swings down from a curtain, the arm of the new toy in its mouth, hurling himself at Frank as the chapter closes.
While it’s only a toy arm full of foam padding, the meaning is clear; the doll has ‘killed’ its replacement and now intends to take revenge on the person responsible for its purchase. In the final panel there’s the usual caption asking readers to send in their ideas for what could happen next, any printed on the letters page earning their senders a crisp five pound note.
Perhaps this was included to balance out any shock from the last panels? Instead of the children having a murderous cliffhanger in their minds, instead they’d be thinking of what they would have happen next? It’s a good idea and no other strip does this.
A wonderful, colourful poster by Sandy James brings a rare piece of relief and happiness for the good Ghostlings, but not so much for their evil counterparts who are strung up and used as decorations on the Super Naturals Christmas tree. After that there’s a festively decorated double-page spread of letters before we move on to The Scary Cat Challenge and the second in the series based on an idea sent in by a reader. This time it was Clive Sheppard of Lincoln who got two Christmas gifts of a £10 prize and the pleasure of seeing his imagination brought to life in his favourite comic.
Finding an empty box among their Christmas presents, an unnamed family decides it must have been wrapped up by accident and placed underneath the tree. No one owns up to the error and they simply decide to ignore it (okay, that part is unbelievable) and go about celebrating the rest of Christmas Day. However, while they’re eating breakfast in the next room a mist rises out of the empty, unwrapped box and slowly takes on a ghostly shape.
Obviously surprised to find a strange old man in their living room the father of the house goes to ring the police, but the rest of the family implore him not to. Looking dishevelled and hungry, they don’t have the heart to turn him out on this particular day of the year, instead inviting him to stay for Christmas dinner. He remains mysterious about where he came from but this doesn’t appear to put the kind-hearted family off and soon they’re all gathered around the table. After dinner they realise they forgot to pull their crackers and this is when the visitor reveals he isn’t any old homeless person.
From the cracker pulled by dad spills thousand of pounds in notes, from mum’s comes handful after handful of diamonds. When the children pull theirs a magical dust fills the room. “The stuff dreams are made of” explains the old man as he takes their hands and they begin to fly, visiting the moon, the pyramids, undersea reefs, the Himalayas and then flying back home sitting on the back of Concorde.
The family are awestruck and want to thank him but he insists he was the one who needed to thank them; they gave a stranger a warm place to be on Christmas Day, opening their home and their hearts and sharing their food. One of the young boys asks what would’ve happened if their dad had called the police and he shows them an illusion of all their worldly belongings disappearing and the whole family ageing far beyond their years. As he cancels the illusion he leaves their house and looks out through the page to the readers and wonders aloud who he could be visiting the next year.
The message is clear to the impressionable youth and is one that’s just as important in the world we now find ourselves in: Be kind. While it does centre around material possessions it’s actually a nice little metaphor for Christmas itself and taking that spirit of giving with you everywhere, and not just once a year. So not a scary tale but a nice addition to this particular issue before we head on to the new serial drawn by Alan Langford, which I was very pleasantly surprised to see starting off with possibly the most Christmassy of Christmas opening pages possible.
Last time the excellent Mount of Athos came to an end and I’ve tentatively waited to see what the team would replace it with. Thankfully keeping Alan on to draw it, The Curse starts off with this gorgeous page of a festive Victorian London. The title at the top stands in stark contrast with the artwork which wouldn’t look out of place on a greetings card. But turn the page and into this Dickensian scene crashes Skull, Burnheart and Scary Cat on the Bat Bopper.
This opening chapter is all about setting the scene and it does a wonderful job. It feels like Alan has really got to grips with these characters and is having a great time drawing their creepy adventures. In the end, as they make their way up the Thames we find out Skull and his cronies are in search of the Tomb of Britannicus, the last resting place for a savage barbarian sorcerer, who if released is said to bring evil never seen before upon the world who entombed him. But first there’s the obligatory chase as Lionheart and his heroes try to catch them.
As you can see the evil Super Naturals have caused destruction and terror in no time at all, though the strip does manage to squeeze in some comedy. For example, at one point the horse on the first page bolts, the family inside thrown from their carriage as it crashes and their Christmas supplies are strewn everywhere, including their turkey which Burnheart can’t resist roasting with this flame power as he speeds past!
“London, 1972. Under a drift of gentle snow, the city glows with all the festivity of Christmas Eve!”
The Curse
While I have no idea what Spooks is on about when he says he’s going so fast he’s almost overtaking himself (that just makes no sense whatsoever) I do enjoy how the humans are just as terrified of them, and how they’re stopped by Skull taking out an entire house. Great action, gorgeous visuals and a real festive ghost story feel to it all. Wonderful stuff and already a worthy follow-up to the Mount of Athos, which is no small feat.
One final thing before I wrap up this review. You remember how our comics had little coupons to cut out and give to our newsagents, or small reminders to place our orders so we never missed out on an issue? Well, Super Naturals decided to do something a little different (in keeping with the comic as a whole) and gave us a full-page strip. While it doesn’t actually say anything about placing a regular order it kind of works in that regard and really would’ve make a wonderful advert to have appeared in other Fleetway comics at the time.
It’s actually the first in a series of small stories which would all fall under the banner A Ghostling Tale, each hosted by a different character. Another nice little addition to the comic.
So that’s it for now. This has been a blast from beginning to end. Having the Christmas vibe throughout was a surprise and an absolute delight, but then again maybe I shouldn’t have expect anything less from Barrie Tomlinson! Issues like this reaffirm the whole concept of this site. If I’d just binged on this series earlier in the year it wouldn’t have been as special as reading it at Christmastime, it’s been evermore enjoyable reading it in real time. The next review will be here on Sunday 9th January 2022 and it would appear there’s a lot to look forward to in the New Year.
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