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Annuals, Christmas, The Real Ghostbusters

THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS ANNUAL #1: PHUNNY PHANTOMS

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While many comics of the 80s such as The Transformers and our very own OiNK would have to wait until their second year for their first annual, with The Real Ghostbusters Marvel UK went all-in and produced a book for its very first Christmas season, meaning work had to have started on it before the comic itself was even released. For me, holding this cover by Anthony Williams (Transformers, PJ Maybe, Fate) and John Burns (Judge Dredd, Look-in, Eagle) in my hands again brings back so many fond festive memories.

Sticking with the usual 64-page hardback format of Marvel’s yearly offerings and edited by Richard Starkings (Death’s Head, The Sleeze Brothers, Dragon’s Claws), inside is chock full of content making for a meaty, very funny read for the younger readers, and one that holds up well today. This has been great fun to relive. I’ve had a ball! Things kick off with an HQ page very much like the weekly’s and you can see the amount of stories and features they’ve crammed in here.

Then there’s Marvel UK’s one-page strip advert introducing Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddmore, Egon Spengler and Ray Stanz that had been running in other comics that year and which took its wording directly from the movie. This was written by Richard (under a pseudonym), drawn by Brian Williamson (Hook Jaw, Doctor Who, Warhammer) and Tim Perkins (Transformers, Chopper, Thor Losers), lettered by Richard and coloured by Chris Matthews (Thundercats, Action Force, Mugshots).

Ian Rimmer’s (editor on Scream, Doctor Who Magazine and Transformers) Sarah Sangster’s Spectre is the perfect scene setter for the book. An attractive young woman has called the team to catch the ghost of a little old lady haunting the halls of her home and straight away Peter is smitten. In the end, she’s the spook who has tried to trick the guys into killing the wee pensioner! Dark? Not at all, it’s all played for laughs and the plot is exposed by Peter’s selfie. 

The artists here are regular Ghostbusters contributors Andy Lanning (The Punisher: Year One, Judge Anderson, co-creator of The Sleeze Brothers) and Dave Harwood (Action Force, Swift Sure, 2000AD) with colours by Helen Stone (Knights of Pendragon, Dark Angel, Sleeze Brothers). Probably more than anything else in here, this strip takes me right back to reading (and rereading) this book over the holidays in 1988, wrapped up in bed late at night during that enjoyable Void Week between Christmas and New Year.

The comic never did multi-issue stories from the UK team. Later, lengthy imported strips would get serialised but the closest our homegrown stories got would be those split in two across one issue. This happens here with The Spook from Outer Space, again written by Ian, with art by Phil Gascoine (Battle Action, Commando, Knight Rider in Look-in) and Dave Hine (Death’s Head, Azrael, Dark Angel), with colours by Stuart Place (Captain Britain, Transformers, Action Force).

The Ghostbusters are watching a UFO being excavated from disused land in New York on telly when suddenly the excavation equipment starts floating in mid-air. They deduce the alien must’ve died upon crashing and has been haunting the UFO ever since. So off they go to bust it but as normal the case is not all it seems. The alien is hugely powerful, feeding off their proton packs instead of being contained by them, and of course the military are on hand to fire more weapons at it while ignoring the warnings.

In the end we find out the alien has been psychically moving all of the heavy machinery in order to spell out a message on the ground that it just wants to be sent home, so the Ghostbusters commandeer one of the army’s rockets, trap the alien (with their permission) and fire it off into space. It’s a fun tale that includes a good bit of witty banter between the four men and would end up being one of a few strips from this annual we’d “get another chance to read” in the weekly a couple of years later.

Moving on to our prose stories and Jaws of the Beast is written by artist Nick Abadzis (Death’s Head, Vector 13, The Big Book of Death) and colourist/editor Steve White (Xenozoic Tales in the UK’s Jurassic Park, The Sleeze Brothers, Dragon’s Claws).It’s a tale about a small winged beast who invades a boy’s wishes. This particular boy wished he could see a real Tyrannosaurus rex, so obviously this leads to the team eventually being chased by said dinosaur through the streets of New York.

“It’s a loony lady who says her nephew has raised a dinosaur from the dead. You wanna speak to her?”

Janine Melnitz

What’s great about the story is the dynamic of the team. The prose stories allow the writers to explore the characters that little bit more and in particular we’re treated to some hilarious scenes between Peter and Egon in the firehouse, and later when Peter is used as bait for the beast. At this juncture Peter’s inner thoughts are punctuated by radio communications from Egon, making for great dialogue and genuinely laugh out loud moments.

The best story of the whole book is written by friend of the blog John Freeman (editor of Doctor Who Magazine, Babylon 5 Magazine, Star Trek Magazine), who brings back the iconic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man for a story set in London. The art is pencilled by Mike Collins (Transformers, Doctor Who, Tharg’s Future Shocks) and inked by OiNK’s very own Lew Stringer (Tom Thug, Combat Colin, Sonic the Comic). Lew and Mike are good friends and started in the business around the same time but this remains the only time they’ve ever worked together on the same story.

A mist has descended over London and it’s feeding on the fears of the citizens, sending everyone running for their lives and leaving the city with no one for the mist to scare. Growing weaker, the Ghostbusters start to look for the source in order to eliminate it, but all it takes is for Egon to explain that in order to keep the mist at bay they have to think of nice things. Cue Ray! If you’ve seen the original movie you’ll know what this is in reference to and it makes for some great back and forth between the four.

There’s one more text story called Ghostbusters Busted! about a so-called rival team and towards the end of the annual the uncredited Who, What, When & Why? which acts like a catch-up for new readers. It explains how the Ghostbusters were formed, why they’ve got a pet ghost and takes a closer look at their HQ and all those gadgets they use in their day-to-day job. Also included are reprints of the fact-files from the weekly for Peter, Egon, Winston, Ray and Janine Melnitz. Oh, and Slimer of course!

In case you’re wondering how that whole “Ghostbusters body” thing worked out, Peter would be the mouth, Egon the brains, Ray the hands, Winston the heart, Janine the central nervous system and Slimer would naturally be the stomach. As I’ve mentioned before in the retrospective for #1 of the comic, I remember drawing this Frankenstein-esque combination of all the characters with the intention of sending it in but never did.

Not all of the main characters feature in every story in the comic and the same applies here. Given their short length the writers would often concentrate on pairing up different characters with each other for interesting dynamics. For example, three of the guys starred in our first strip, then the missing ‘buster, Egon appeared with Janine in another. The final strip of the annual brings everyone together though, including Miss Melnitz and the green one.

Written by John Freeman, drawn by Anthony Williams and Dave Harwood and coloured by Helen Stone, Spooked Out! sees the team battling against a gaggle of ghouls and try as they might they can’t help but get more and more overwhelmed by them. It seems this could be the first failed job but when Peter chases after Slimer to bust him you know something’s up.

Sure enough, it’s just a training exercise. Needing to keep themselves in fine form Slimer has recruited a bunch of his good ghost pals, with payment being everything they can eat at a local diner if they win. Given how they’re all good friends with Slimer (and we know what his appetite is like) this is a particularly funny ending to not only this short strip but the book as a whole.

I found Ghostbusters Answer the Call’s sense of humour reminded me a lot of both The Real Ghostbusters cartoon and the UK comic, so if you’re a fan of that movie like I am you’ll want to snap up some issues and this first annual is the perfect jumping on point. Our annuals were always that little bit more special than the regular comic and upon finishing this it really did feel like all the stops were pulled out to produce a fantastic debut book that’s genuinely very funny.

Andy Lanning’s, Dave Harwood’s and John Burns’ inner cover spread rounds off what has been a great slice of Marvel UK history from a comic that set itself apart from the rest of their titles from the get-go. Sometimes certain things from our childhood hold a special place in our hearts that we’ve completely forgotten about until we experience them again. In that regard, the 1988 annual for The Real Ghostbusters has felt like a very personal trip down memory lane and I can’t wait to see if subsequent volumes have the same effect. Roll on Christmas 2026!

THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS RETROSPECTiVE

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Comic Reviews, Death's Head

DEATH’S HEAD – THE BODY iN QUESTiON: DADDY iSSUES

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This week back in 1990 the editorial in Marvel UK’s Transformers announced the exciting news that Death’s Head was finally back. Not in a reprint of a previous story (something they still liked to hype) but a brand new graphic novel. In reality it collected together his run from Strip comic, and this is the final piece of the jigsaw for the blog’s real time read through of the original incarnation of the character.

Coming in at 68 pages including a card cover, inside is all glossy and beautiful, the paper upgrade allowing artist Geoff Senior (who co-created the character for the Transformers but only drew one of the monthly issues) to return to the character in style and bring us a new level of colouring. Helen Stone (The Sleeze Brothers, The Real Ghostbusters, Knights of Pendragon) joins the team as letterer, Steve White (Xenozoic Tales, Rogue Trooper, The Lost World Jurassic Park) returns to edit and of course it’s all written by co-creator Simon Furman (Transformers, To the Death, Doctor Who), with Geoff (Hell’s Angel, Dragon’s Claws, Judge Dredd) and Walt Simonson (The Star Slammers, Jurassic Park, Thor) teaming up on the cover.

We begin in a strange land that apparently doesn’t adhere to time or meaning, with someone being tracked down and killed, the perpetrator only seen from one angle, their arm looking suspiciously like Death’s Head’s original design from Transformers and Doctor Who. Then it’s back to 2020, where he ended up at the end of his comic’s run and an electrifying chase as the Freelance Peacekeeping Agent hunts down his latest bounty and it’s full of all the usual quips and comedy action.

Rogan accuses Death’s Head of enjoying the chase and this really gets into his head. As he runs he questions himself. Is he really enjoying the hunt more than the profit? At the end he believes Rogan is about to take a woman hostage so he kills him, but he was running to her apartment for safety. She’s his partner and she screams that Death’s Head ran him down like it was sport. He walks away, solemn, trying hard to convince himself that she’s wrong.

Initially I thought this wasn’t going to feature Spratt but suddenly we’re back in 8162 and he’s meeting with his boss’ mysterious love who was hinted at in the monthly. (He doesn’t look like Spratt at all though.) It’s good to see the vulture is still on the team too. So apparently the not-a-bounty hunter is her husband and she has “vengelust” for him. Big Shot is also back and just as angry as ever. Spratt tries to escape, so Nightweaver reads his mind and finds out her love has time travelled. All the while in some void-like world the lookalike looks on. So far, so intriguing.

As in the comic the year 2020 looks just as futuristic as thousands of years into the future and given what actually happened in the world in 2020 maybe this version would’ve been preferred. I don’t want to ruin any possible future you may have in reading this graphic novel, so I must warn you this review will obviously contain spoilers. It should go without saying by this stage, this blog is all about classic comics, but more than any of the monthly stories the shocks and surprises in this are an integral part of the plot and thus the reading experience. To tell you about them would be to ruin the experience for you if you intend to read this one day. So consider yourself warned.

My favourite parts always involve our lead character and his quips, his inner thoughts and biting humour. Such as the moment above. He ends up flashing back and forth between the real world and the void and slowly the identity of the lookalike reveals himself. However, surprisingly this is seen in flashback form inside our anti-hero’s mind. He begins to question his own origin, something he’s never done until now. The same goes for the reader, but I’ll get to that below as it’s the only real bone of contention I have with this.

It doesn’t stop the rest of this graphic novel from being highly enjoyable. For example, despite Death’s Head initially being joyful that Spratt wasn’t there, the banter between the two during action scenes is better than ever. I think he secretly loves it! Or how about another scene when he realises he hadn’t previously defeated Big Shot and he strops like a child, proclaiming it’s unfair while having the huffiest of faces his angular jawline will allow. Then things take a turn when Big Shot says all bounty hunters are the same, that they all enjoy their work. Following up from earlier in the story, this leads us to the main event, the creation of Death’s Head.

Meet Lupex. He’s the fella in the void universe who bares a striking resemblance to the star of the piece and whose catchphrase is also somewhat familiar. He’s a warlord and Nightweaver, known here as Pyra, was his wife; a woman who wanted all the power he had but who was in love with another. Lupex possessed bodies to survive and did so with her lover’s body out of spite. He was also creating a robotic form for himself so he could live forever without the need of new flesh.

But in an act of revenge Pyra finished programming the robot and made him autonomous with a mind and soul of his own. Not just any mind, a business-like mind, a clinical assassin whose only goal was to do the job and get paid. The opposite of Lupex. She thought this would create the only one who could go up against her husband (whose love of killing drove him). It’s a hell of a story but I’m not sure if it fits within the Death’s Head comic for me. It feels too mythical. Then again, he did fight Unicron, the God of Chaos on the astral plane so maybe it’s just that I’m used to the more grounded stories of the monthly by now.

What definitely doesn’t gel for me is the retconning. Don’t get me wrong, I like stories that add to previous ones, that surprise us and take things in new directions or give us previously unknown facts to completely redefine characters and settings. But what I don’t like is when this completely contradicts what went before, and we’d already been told by Death’s Head himself he was created as the plaything of a very rich, very bored individual who he later killed.

However we are told here that his body was subsequently stolen by an unknown party so there’s always a chance the previous origin could be woven in, in the time before his first appearance in Transformers. Did Simon intended to do so or was this was replacing what went before? I’ve convinced myself it’s the former because the rest of this book is so much fun, so full of superb action, great character moments and lots of laugh-out-loud moments that it really is classic Death’s Head.

The story culminates in a chase echoing that from the beginning, only with Death’s Head as the one being chased and taunted. This creature also has control over the land in this realm, which is split into ‘magik’ and ‘techno’ sectors. In each he can realign his powers to shape the ground and use it to attack his victims, and he almost destroys Death’s Head by doing so. However, he cannot control the borders between these sectors or when they change from one to the other independently.

We see Death’s Head almost enjoying each successful escape, leading him to question himself again. That is, until he remembers his one true love. No, not Pyra. He remembers how much he loves money! This is enough to refocus him, and I’ll admit I had a little inward cheer and fist bump when this happened. It’s almost a spoof of scenes in superhero comics when doubts are washed away and the hero emerges ready for battle after thinking about the reasons they’re fighting, their cause for good. Here, the cause is cash.

In the end Death’s Head takes a gamble that Lupex doesn’t know he’d spent so long in 8162 (in his own comic and Dragon’s Claws) and as a result has become much more advanced as he repaired and added to his tech. In the end he’s playing the victim but in reality his computer systems are calculating where a magik zone is about to change into a techno one. We think the final blow is about to fall but Lupex unknowingly tries to use magik as the zone changes and it no longer works. The few seconds it takes him to correct his attack is just enough for our star to use his built-in hidden spike.

It’s a thrilling conclusion. It rockets along but never fails to hit the right character beats as it goes. Lupex feels like a genuine threat for the seemingly indestructible Death’s Head, all the while our hero (I’m just going to call him that from now on, I think he deserves it after all this) quips escalate the more desperate he gets, almost like he’s trying to use humour to keep himself going. After it’s all over he even begins to gloat, but he stops himself. He doesn’t want to end up like his father!

Even the vulture gets a funny moment alongside Spratt before Death’s Head gets to round everything off with his usual blasé attitude, despite the scale of the battle that’s just occurred. While I’m still in two minds over the retconning, the story told here is a fascinating one. If we hadn’t been told something different beforehand this would be faultless. In fact, it near enough is anyway!

What a fantastic send off for one of my very favourite comics characters. Apparently this first incarnation of Death’s Head appeared in Marvel US’ Fantastic Four #338 so I might track that down some day as an extra for the blog, but in the meantime it’s a very, very fond farewell to the greatest Freelance Peacekeeping Agent any world, any time or any universe has ever seen. What an ending! Kudos to all involved.

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #6: iNFLATED LAUGHS

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It’s been a very funny ride to say the least but here we are already at the final monthly issue of Marvel UK’s (under their Epic imprint) The Sleeze Brothers. Well, I say monthly but back in 1989 it had been two since the previous issue. I’m still not sure why there was such a delay but the Mighty Marvel Checklists in their other titles don’t lie and I’ve used them to determine the release dates. But enough of that, let’s see what they have in store for us.

D.O.R.I.S., the brothers’ very 80s computer receptionist introduces the story by giving us a little detail into The Rim Wars. Quite. Basically, it’s that old chestnut of war being very profitable, even when they’re on the edge of the known galaxy. Anybody can buy shares in any side of any part of the conflict, so the rich get twitchy when there’s talk of a ceasefire. The background story of the comic just got a helluva lot bigger in scope, didn’t it?

El’ Ape really doesn’t like dying aliens turning up unannounced (see also #3). Quarkvark’s story is actually rather good and if you take away the silly names and the fact it’s in this particular comic, it wouldn’t look out of place in an episode of Doctor Who. In fact, recent fantastic episode Boom had a similar background to its conflict. Anyway, this all reads brilliantly, despite El’ Ape’s protestations, and I could imagine the elderly, wise voice behind it all.

Then we turn the page to see what The Messiah had transferred his all-important message into. Where could this war-ending knowledge be found?

Well that brought us back down to Earth with a thud, didn’t it? This is The Sleeze Brothers after all, a comic created by John Carnell and Andy Lanning and written by John, so of course it was all a long set up for a daft gag! The fate of the universe rests on a boiled egg in a lunch box, but it still takes the alien to offer his solid gold medallion for El’ Ape to take any interest, and as he dies the detectives fail to notice they’re being watched from afar.

Cue some brilliant slapstick. Outside, with the egg secured underneath his hat, El’ Ape dodges a heat seeking bazooka shell when he notices his shoelace is undone and bends over to tie it. The resultant explosion sends a nearby lunch wagon skyrocketing into the air, which I’ve made sure to mention for a reason that’ll soon become clear. Taking off in their flying VW Beetle we get a scene which for me is the kind of humour we’d get from a Blues Brothers movie, which is rather apt.

I admit I laughed out loud at that reveal.

An action scene takes place over the next few pages with an ending that shocked even me, but in the best possible (not to mention funniest) way imaginable. The cars behind them start opening fire, all of them aiming for El’ Ape’s head. The fact they’re able to get away is more luck then anything, like when Deadbeat swerves around a building at the exact moment his brother opens fire, the wayward shot hitting a piece of rope holding a giant slab of steel over a building site, which then sways wildly and smashes right into one of their pursuers.

But the others have bigger weapons and soon a missile takes out the brothers’ rear engine and they find themselves careening towards a building called the Mondo Mart. With a huge ‘X’ on the large window and words like ‘Spank’ and ‘Bizarre’ lit up over the building you could guess what kind of place this is. But whatever your guess is it’ll fall short of what awaits the brothers as they crash through said window!

Indeed! See what I mean? And did you spot the guy from #1 amongst the chaos? On the top-left level regular readers should recognise him and his unique kink as the first person we ever saw the Sleeze Brothers investigate. The closer you look at this page the less is left to the imagination. And to think this was advertised in the pages of Marvel’s toy comics! The first issue was an eye-opener for me back then, I wonder what my 12-year-old eyes would’ve thought of this?

As their car descends they soon find themselves having to dodge the mass of partying people (and other beings), until El’ Ape screams, ‘Look out! Inflatey-Friends dead ahead!” Now… I know what you’re thinking. Inflatey-Friends? Yep. And as one of the brothers’ pursuers gains on them, they get to find out first hand what exactly an ‘Inflatey-Friend’ is…

Anyone else remembering Total Recall right about now? I thought this had to be a spoof reference to that scene in the Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, after all this comic has been so good at pastiching classic and contemporary pop culture. But nope, Total Recall wasn’t released until the following year, so this was actually an original creation from the minds of John and Andy.

I can’t help but wonder about the reactions of inker Stephen Baskerville, letterer Helen Stone and colourist Steve White when these pages landed at their desks. Or indeed editor Dan Abnett and what the script he read would’ve described. Then again, one look at this team and I think it’s safe to say they were a like-minded bunch, each as crazy as the next.

El’ Ape and Deadbeat will return, you can count on that

Eventually crashing into the ground outside, El’ Ape is flipped out of the car and lands in a heap, his body contorted into all sorts of weird angles. Deadbeat runs to his brother in panic! When we begin the page below we think we’re witnessing a rare tender moment between siblings, but one panel later we realise we should’ve known better. Oh, and that lunch wagon I made sure to mention earlier, remember that?

I roared as I read that already-classic Sleeze Brothers line, “Oldest trick in the book”. I was so happy they managed to squeeze that in one more time. Another gag paying off here is El’ Ape’s shoelaces coming undone, as he trips and drops the egg, smashing it all over the ground. But one rummage around the debris of the lunch wagon later and they’ve got a carton of them.

They pass one off as the egg containing the ability to end galaxy-spanning wars and make their escape, golden medallion safely pocketed. The egg is then presented to a mass crowd in an image that received an additional credit on the editorial page which read, “Emergency relief Cast of Thousands supplied by Anthony Williams”. Anthony (Super Naturals, The Real Ghostbusters, Sinister Dexter) doesn’t just provide a crowd, he truly has created a cast! Who can you spot?

Personally, I see an Alien (from the Alien film franchise), a Dalek, Judge Dredd, Slimer, Spock, possibly Batman and on the left John and Andy themselves! Although, my personal favourite moments after perusing this for long moments were discovering the back of Wile E. Coyote’s head and Zippy, George and Bungle from Rainbow! Go on, look closer – they’re there! Then, on the next page individual panels of the crowd contain no less than Looney Tunes’ Marvin the Martian and Gilbert the Alien, the snot-covered puppet from ITV’s Saturday morning show Get Fresh.

Talk about blasts from the past! Out of all the comics on the blog that I thought would whisk me back to childhood I didn’t think it would be the one containing Inflatey-Friends! Anyway, the story ends here as the one chosen to relay the message starts to cluck like a chicken and the crowd turns to violence. It is a dystopian future after all.

There’s no mention of this being the final issue, but from that first appearance in the Mighty Marvel Checklist we knew it was always planned to end here and I for one am gutted. Not that this is the very end, but there are no more monthly appointments with the detectives to look forward to. There’s a one-off special called Some Like It Fresh which, in keeping with the real time nature of the blog, will be joining us here on Tuesday 30th June… 2026. After that there’ll be three more reviews containing new misadventure for the duo, which you can spot in the photo below.

I’ve loved every moment of this read through. As I said at the start I’d only read the first issue before and now I see what I missed out on. Damn my attention span as a kid and my wish to buy as many different comics as possible! I should’ve placed an order for this the moment I saw that “oldest trick in the book” gag repeated for the first time in #1. El’ Ape and Deadbeat will return to the blog, you can count on that!

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The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS TEAM: CRiMiNALLY GOOD

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There was no issue of Marvel UK’s (Epic imprint) monthly comic during October 1989. The fifth issue of The Sleeze Brothers was released at the end of September (just three weeks after the previous issue) despite its cover date being ‘December’. The sixth and final issue wouldn’t arrive until just two days before Christmas either. Why the big gap? I have no idea. I just know these were the release dates thanks to information in sister titles Transformers and The Real Ghostbusters.

But after really (really, really) enjoying the issues so far that’s just too long a wait with nothing new from El’ Ape and Deadbeat for the blog. Thankfully, there was a neat little extra in the first issue that I decided to hold back to help plug this gap. It’s a page at the rear of the issue where the Sleezes looked upon the team responsible for bringing them to life in the first place. Suitably enough, it’s a criminal line up! But it’s even better than that.

Drawn by the regular team of penciller Andy Lanning and inker Stephen Baskerville, it paints quite the picture of Marvel UK’s finest, doesn’t it? I’ve praised this team endlessly these past few months and for good reason. Looking at this it’s clear to me the weird and wacky world of The Sleeze Brothers needed an equally weird and wacky team behind it all. It gives the impression this was a fun comic to work on and from speaking to originating editor Richard Starkings, that was certainly the case.

I adore all the little in-jokes in the descriptions of each person, although my favourite part is the fact Steve White is drawn as a dinosaur. He produced some gorgeous colouring for another favourite comic of mine, Dark Horse International’s UK Jurassic Park comic, and today his incredibly elaborate and, frankly, bloody stunning dinosaur illustrations fill his Instagram, website and self-published books.

The final issue of The Sleeze Brothers will be reviewed here on Monday 23rd December 2024 but that won’t be the end of their coverage on the OiNK Blog. You’ll have to wait for that final regular review to find out what else is to come in the future, but until then I hope you enjoyed this little insight into the offices of Marvel UK as much as I did. We’ll return to the apparently “not-too-distant future” Earth this Christmas.

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Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

SLEEZE BROTHERS #5: DOWN THE PAN

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With no ‘Next Issue’ dates in any of these Marvel UK (Epic imprint) comics I had to do a little research in order to find out the specific release dates. Just as I did for Dragon’s Claws and Death’s Head I dug through my extensive Transformers and The Real Ghostbusters collections and checked every one of their Mighty Marvel Comics Checklists, which the publisher printed for 18 months in total around this time.

It was worth it because every other online resource simply states the month on the cover, which as you can see is somewhat out. Arriving only three weeks after #4 but a whole nine weeks before #6 (I’ll get to that further below), the penultimate issue of The Sleeze Brothers arrived today in 1989 and the incompetent detectives don’t exactly appear to be flushed with success. (Sorry.)

Each month the inside cover has been given over to a different character in an original take on an editorial where they wax lyrical about something that’s on their mind, something which also acts as an introduction to an aspect of that month’s story. In this case, the President’s mistress Marilyn Blondclone informs us in her own way of the Scoopers, a band of mutated humans living in the sewers far below the city.

The first strip page shows us a couple of such people digging about the sludge for food, their speech patterns conveying that they purposely block their noses to deal with the stench. Upon discovering a cabbage one states, “Dover dare, a nabbage. Lovely – notten right frew!” Everything in the city is recycled, but what can’t be ends up down here. But that’s not all to be found.

I love how every month the double-page title spread acts almost like a movie poster for the story. They convey everything we need to know about the humour and the imagination that’ll be on display for the next 20 pages, probably none more so than the Psycho-inspired spread in the previous issue. I particularly like the little in-jokes the comic is so good at, such as here with the replacement for the usual “Stan Lee presents”.

The same team as always are present and correct: John Carnell (writer), Andy Lanning (pencils), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Steve White (colours), Helen Stone (letters) and Dan Abnett (editor). The story sees Marilyn about to attend the Phoney awards where it’s been fixed for her to win yet again, but her previous year’s trophy has been stolen and it contains her insurance policy against the love of her life (the President), something to guarantee her luxurious lifestyle.

The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz can retrieve it

Stolen by The Frog Burglar (he’s exactly what it says on the tin), the national security head J. Edgar Hairdryer makes a return and threatens the frog with a Terminator-type villain if he doesn’t hand the award over. The Frog Burglar has it secreted away inside his stomach and only his sidekick Scuzz (who reminds me of Rizzo from The Muppets) can retrieve it. Following a lead, the Sleezes end up at the Frog’s emporium where he sells his extensive stolen goods to the masses.

Have a very close look at that first panel and lurking in the shadows of the queuing public you should spot it’s actually Freddy Kruger who’s having a “nightmare” of a time alongside a certain floating green (and most definitely slimy) apparition from the other comic this creative team had a huge hand in. Reading The Sleeze Brothers has me gagging to finish my Real Ghostbusters collection so I can get stuck into reading that too!

While waiting outside El’ Ape and Deadbeat seem to confirm what I suspected back in #1, that they know they’re in the pages of a comic. Then, after acquiring what he came for, a heavily armed religious nut job soon causes death and destruction in the name of peace, love and god (some things don’t change in America it would seem, even in a far future that’s taking place in a comic).

Amongst all the chaos Frog Burglar is captured by the local police and the Terminator-type is damaged but still able to take its secret commands from Hairdryer, below. (There’s a sentence!) The brothers seem to be nowhere nearer the reward money but things are about to go in their favour. If you can call being covered in frog (and everyone else’s) poo a turn up for the books. 

In prison the two-headed chief of police Pigski learns where Frog Burglar has hidden the Phoney all this time, so you can imagine his horror when he finds out the inmate has been granted a toilet break. It’s a very funny scene that could’ve been lifted right out of an issue of OiNK, complete with toilet humour puns and even a mention of a plop. Then, just as you think things couldn’t get any ickier, the Burglar’s attorney arrives.

So, let’s take a look at the situation at (smelly) hand here. The police simply want to retrieve a stolen object, an object Marilyn Blondclone has hired detectives to track down because it contains dirt on the President, who Hairdryer wants to protect, and because of this fact it’s worth a fortune on the black market, and it’s now in the sewers. The same sewers where the story began by introducing us to the people and monsters that dwell there. So the two plots have merged in a brilliant piece of writing that also happens to be bloomin’ hilarious.

However, as one of Pigski’s officers explains, “You’d have to be a crazy, no-brained, lowlife, sonofatube to go down there” with a vicious monster on the loose. So who do you think the police will choose? Ding, ding! Yep, with the Sleezes currently in the clink for interfering in a police investigation, Pigski agrees to drop the list of ludicrous charges he was going to use against them if they retrieve the Phoney. What they find when they venture down makes for a wonderful full-page background.

I’ve already mentioned the licenced Marvel UK comic the team behind The Sleeze Brothers also worked on, so I’m positive that third panel is a funny reference to a famous line in the original movie. Among the Scoopers their leader speaks through his own blocked nose to tells us his name is Broken Potty (although I like to think the bunged up version is his true name) and as per usual with Andy and Stephen’s work there are a lot of funny details the longer you let your eyes wander over the page.

The intricate illustration of this page leads on to the biggest laugh of the whole issue. While The Sleeze Brothers was aimed at a more mature audience than the likes of the company’s licenced fare, I’m sure kids would’ve still got this next gag and had a private chuckle to themselves, their parents none the wiser. There’s a lot of potty humour here but it’s top quality potty humour. (Yes, it exists.) For example, while looking down upon the scene from their sewage pipe El’ Ape senses something and tells Deadbeat, “Shhh! There’s a movement behind us!” Brilliant.

The last handful of pages rush towards the climax. The brothers are captured and tied up as a sacrifice to the monster of the sewers, then a cute little doggie turns into the monster on a whistle command, the frog coming to a suitably grisly end. However, Deadbeat uses his own whistle to transform the monster back to the cute puppy to save him and brother, whistling again to destroy the Terminator with the monster, and one more time to give them a cute pet to get home!

At the awards show President Sinartra, Marilyn Blondclone and J. Edgar Hairdryer are on stage for Marilyn’s “outstanding bits in Silicon Valley” award, and as each part of the finale plays out we’re treated to their reactions, below. In order, their reactions are to El’ Ape appearing with the stolen Phoney on stage, then to the head of the Terminator bouncing out to seek revenge, then they see a camera film fall out of the busted Phoney, and finally they react to El’ Ape opening the film to take a look and ruining it in the bright lights.

To say it’s a madcap story would be to sell it short. It simply doesn’t stop to allow the reader to catch a breath! While the early issues were incredibly funny and original, this and last month’s stories have shown not only that the team has really got to grips with the premise, but that they can continue to outdo themselves every time.

It bodes well for #6, the final issue, but unfortunately for whatever reason there was a big gap before its release. According to the Mighty Marvel Checklists #6 of The Sleeze Brothers wasn’t released for another nine weeks! So you’ll just have to wait until Monday 23rd December 2024 for the next review. That should be a great early Christmas pressie though. But fear not, there’s a little extra treat coming your way on the blog on Sunday 10th November. You’ll just have to wait to find out what it is.

iSSUE FOUR < > iSSUE SiX

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