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OiNK! #15: NEW PiGLETS

15 November 2021 Phil Boyce 1 Comment

It appears I jumped on to the OiNK train at the right moment back in 1986. Last time I shared the memories of my first issue and just one week later came a kind of soft relaunch as the theme. OiNK had established itself, publishers IPC Magazines were happy, the readers were happy and it was proving to be a success, so the team decided to celebrate by bringing in a whole bunch of brand new characters.

Let’s not forget the fantastic free gift, the first of three Ian Jackson posters which combined into one giant calendar for 1987 featuring The 8th Wonder of the World: Mount Rushboar. I can remember pouring over all the little details in the swarm of people running across Harry the Head and Burp the Smelly Alien carved into the rock face and even the little bits of rubbish left behind on this apparently reverential site. How typical of us humans and a funny swipe at British tourists in particular.

On page two we find out how this glossy comic could afford such extravagances, with staff reduced to working naked, cartoonists and accountants alike shivering in the cold as Uncle Pigg looks on, wearing his Hawaiian shirt to boot. Christmas was coming early for him with all the money OiNK was raking in, and it was coming early for us too because the calendar poster freebies would continue up to the first festive issue.

Mary Lighthouse (critic) is back with her strip on page three. Normally this would be a way of introducing the subject matter of the issue but here it’s quite clear it has a bigger job to do. It’s introducing new readers to the character and the overall irreverence of the comic. Thanks to writer Mark Rodgers and artist Ian Jackson it’s genuinely funny while also reinforcing the way the comic is reintroducing itself now that its readership is growing.

Coming on board just before this issue is probably the reason why I always assumed certain characters were in OiNK right from the beginning, when in reality this was their first appearance. Two such examples are Davy Francis‘ Greedy Gorb (He’d Eat Anything) and Jeremy Banx‘s wonderfully surreal and often very rude Hector Vector and his Talking T-shirt. The latter actually gets a proper origin story when a magical genie appears from Keith Disease‘s (I never remembered him having an actual name!) packet of crisps, but Keith is rude to him because his snack is gone. Poor Hector happens to be passing and Keith is forever confined to be a “tasteless print” on his t-shirt.

I remember his strip being one of my favourites so expect to see them at some point. The only reason I’m not including them here is because there’s just too much I could include that I had to leave some real classics out. But I was always going to show you the beginning of OiNK’s second spoof adventure story. Hot on the tails of The Street-Hogs comes Ham Dare: Pig of the Future, also stunningly illustrated by J.T. Dogg and this time the multi-part serial is written by Lew Stringer. IPC’s very own Eagle and 2000AD hero Dan Dare was the subject of OiNK’s style of parody, complete with sidekick Pigby and arch nemesis The Weakun‘!

This was my first exposure to J.T.’s artwork and it looked like nothing I’d ever seen before. Possibly because of this, as much as I love The Street-Hogs now, Ham Dare remains my favourite of all the OiNK serials. Lew’s script is fast-paced and packed full of gags, both for fans of the original space adventurer or those like me who weren’t that familiar. I especially love how Sir Hogbert has to show our heroes such a basic drawing to describe Earth being pulled out of orbit. Ham Dare may not be the sharpest pork scratching in the packet but he looked dashing as the hero and that’s what was important to him (and we loved him for it).

Elsewhere this issue Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins‘ own serial continues and a lot of the humour comes from the narrative by Tony Husband. Fan favourite Pete and his Pimple makes his debut after being the footer gag to a Tom Thug strip in #6. Hyperactive Harriet is the fastest girl in the world and a not-so-subtle take on The Beano‘s Billy Whizz. Then Billy Buzz gets the same ‘New Character’ treatment as the rest, but his saccharine personality annoys Uncle Pigg so much he swats him by the end of the strip and that’s the last we’d ever see of him!

**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Hyperactive Harriet** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Lezz*
**Billy Buzz** by *Philip (not me)*

Billy might not have made the grade but the next new addition certainly did. She quickly became a childhood favourite, so much so that I was certain she appeared in almost every issue I had as a kid. But surprisingly Psycho Gran was only in 20 editions of OiNK altogether including specials and annuals. Despite this, she became a true OiNK legend.

Created by David Leach (Brain Damage, Toxic Crusaders, Spongebob Squarepants) she was originally submitted as a one-off strip, so when OiNK’s editors introduced her as a new regular character in this issue it was a bit of a surprise for David. This explains why she doesn’t reappear until #21 because he hadn’t made any more! David tells me the guys would send him a list of upcoming issue subjects and he’d submit Psycho Gran strips for whichever ones he had an idea for. He never had a Psycho strip turned down and as a fan I can see why.

This one might look familiar to anyone who has purchased the new comic series from David in recent years because he reproduced this as a full colour strip for the cover of the first issue. In fact, between contributions to Aces Weekly and Psycho’s own comics, David has now produced more work for the little old dear in the years since OiNK than during her time in her debut comic.

There are certain Psycho Gran strips, as well as individual jokes and images that stayed with me long after childhood was a distant memory. Whether she’s randomly throwing people into the ocean, making military preparations to pick her pension up at the Post Office or adorning a Wild West Wanted poster, she could terrify many in her little world but she was adored by pig pals.

“‘Sammy is getting old and worn out! I’ll have to replace him with a new engine,’ said the Controller.”
Sammy the Steam Engine

Two new characters are up on the next page together, namely Sally Scowl (Her Temper’s Foul!) and Fatty Farmer (He’s A Whole Lot Calmer). Their titles may have rhymed like so many traditional humour strips of the time but that’s where the similarities end. Both were written by Mark Rodgers (of course) and drawn by Dave Follows and Weedy Willy‘s Mike Green respectively.

Both are enjoyable, even if we do already have a bad tempered youth in the shape of Billy Bang. But unlike Billy, Sally’s temper builds until she uses it to her advantage at just the right moment. She’s a lovable character and after that hilarious first panel I can’t blame her for being in a bad mood all day! She was also that rare occurrence indeed, a black character in one of our childhood comics. So why does Sally disappear after #16, totalling only two appearances? So much for a new regular character! What a shame and a waste of a great idea.

The message was clear, don’t let the bullies get to you

Fatty Farmer was a larger than life country man who’d often come up against bullies and small-minded individuals making fun of his weight. However, he’d remain chilled out and deal with them calmly, often proudly using the very thing they were laughing at to get his own back or to ignore them. The message was clear, don’t let the bullies get to you. He’d go on to be a bit more successful than Sally with 11 strips in total, appearing in every issue for the first few months and then on and off during the rest of the fortnightlies.

Back in #3 artist Ralph Shepherd drew OiNK’s brilliant take on The Transformers. As I said at the time, the comic would often take the hand out of the things we readers loved and for me there was nothing I loved more than the subject of this next strip. It was so funny to see this as a kid. This was really the first many fans of the show would’ve seen a spoof of it (and it was even several months before the official comic finally launched). Over the course of the two weeks I had to wait for my next OiNK I reread this several times, laughing and loving the fact OiNK had its own version of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends.

Looking at this issue as a whole I can see I was clearly spoiled as a kid with this as only the second comic I ever bought. Whether I realised that at the time is another matter. I got to experience the gorgeous work of J.T. Dogg for the first time, got to meet lots of new characters including many who would become lifelong favourites, the subject of my top book series and TV show was given that unique OiNK makeover and then on top of all that was one of only five Tom Paterson OiNK strips, Mister Cheese! It even came complete with his trademark smelly sock and funny descriptions of other characters that have no bearing on the story whatsoever.

What a lovely surprise it was to come across this page when reading the issue for this review. Written by Mark Rodgers it’s already a funny script, but when it’s in the hands of Tom you just know there are going to be many more laughs added before he’s done with it. This would unfortunately be Tom’s final full page story for OiNK. After this his work would only pop up once more in a tiny quarter-page strip in The OiNK Book 1988, which I won’t be reviewing for another 13 months! Just as well this is so jam-packed with Tom’s trademark sight gags to keep us going. Tom was just too busy to be a regular contributor and that’s such a shame because I believe he and OiNK were the perfect fit, perhaps more so than any other comic he contributed to.

Before we wrap up with the back page, here’s a little bit of news about the next issue. While this edition may have introduced a wealth of new characters, #16 brings with it a true superstar, a megastar, a “fantastic” new addition to OiNK who I remember waking up to every Saturday morning on No.73. His creator sadly died back in 2010 and it was the news of his passing that brought me back into the sty after decades away. Next issue sees the start of his contributions which really have to be seen to be believed.

I’m definitely looking forward to the next issue. For now, I’m going to finish off with this full colour back cover from Lew Stringer. We got a glimpse on the Grunts page (at the top of this review) of what it was like to work in the OiNK offices. Uncle Pigg may have had all the right words to say to the readers but the reality behind them was somewhat different. Here’s Lew’s inside scoop on the real behind-the-scenes of creating the funniest comic ever produced!

According to Lew, the writer and artist in panel two getting whipped by Uncle Pigg are based on Mark Rodgers and Lew himself!

For a much younger me these two issues were a strong start. How could it possibly get any better? Be here on Monday 29th November 2021 to find out.

iSSUE 14 < > iSSUE 16

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OiNK! #13: FRiGHTFULLY FUNNY

18 October 2021 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

A brilliant headline pun welcomes us to the Hallowe’en issue of OiNK and what a great piece of coincidental timing, having the thirteenth issue out for the spooky season. At a time when most other humour comics had a strip on the front OiNK’s bold, colourful covers really stood out and I think you’ll agree that’s certainly the case here with Ben Turner‘s one and only contribution to the comic and co-editor Patrick Gallagher‘s shivering version of his classic logo.

Ben is a seriously talented artist who at the time worked for Cosgrove Hall Productions (Danger Mouse, Count Duckula) alongside other OiNK artists Andy Roper and John Geering. He was also involved in producing and directing and from 1997 to 2006 was Creative Director at Cosgrove Hall Films where one of his projects was The BFG. Now working independently as a freelance director and designer in animation he was Art Director on CBBC’s Chuggington, a show which Patrick actually wrote some episodes for.

What do you think happens when Roger Rental meets the Slithering Horror?

In addition to all the themed laughs inside there are two event strips, both of which involve Lew Stringer. The first is a character crossover between Lew’s Tom Thug and Mike Green‘s Weedy Willy, who was created by Graham Exton and written either by him or co-editor Mark Rodgers. It kicks off with their individual strips. Tom was drawn by a 27-and-three-quarters-years-old Lew (according to his signature) and also includes future star Pete and his Pimple‘s sister Zeta.

Embarrassed in front of a girl by his own ineptness he’s jokingly compared to Willy and, Tom being the dim-witted bully he is, naturally decides to go and beat up Willy as revenge for this slight. At the same time Willy is yet again falling foul of his own attempts to woo Dishy Mandy who compares his intelligence to Tom’s. Everything is now set for a Clash of the Titans! We even get to see Tom angrily cutting across a field to get to his nemesis in Davy Francis‘ Cowpat County.

The idea for the strip was suggested by Graham as a battle “between the two cowards, Tom and Willy.” Mark then scripted and in the days before the internet the artwork was shared via post. Lew pencilled and inked his bits first, loosely indicating in pencil where Weedy Willy should be. According to Lew, Mike was free to change these of course and it was all achieved quite easily in the end, as he doesn’t recall any back and forth being necessary.

I love how in the end these two complete opposites are more alike than they’ll ever realise. Everything they say out loud is said by the other at exactly the same time. Lew’s and Mike’s different styles come together flawlessly so it’s unfortunate it’d be the only time something like this would be created for the comic. There would be crossovers between Lew’s characters and different artists would draw one another’s for guest appearances, but this is a truly unique strip and one of the classics of the whole run.

Moving on to the Hallowe’en hilarity and one of our favourite characters finds himself up against an unspeakable terror. So what do you think happens when Ian Knox‘s Roger Rental Meets the Slithering Horror?

Of course.

The next two strips are perfect examples of the little one-offs which made up so much of our fortnightly dose of OiNK, the first of which is also the debut of Davey Jones to its pages (and his first published comics work). Davey is best known for his work on Viz, which he would freelancing for before joining their staff in 1990. Some of his most famous creations are The Real Ale Twats, Gilbert Ratchet and Major Misunderstanding.

Here he puts a new spin on an old dog trick in Henry the Wonder Dog. Davey would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether but as for Henry he’d only reappear once in #29. Strangely, so would the joke in a different strip later in the run.

The second mini-strip here is another by Lew Stringer. Doctor Jeckyll’s Experiment could’ve been told over half as many panels, but with the extra space here Lew’s expert comedic timing really pays off with some hilarious facial expressions, especially from the newly furry Jeckyll.

Do you remember the Care Bears, the saccharin Sunday morning cartoon with garishly coloured teddy bears? Based on the toys of the same name they were everywhere in the 1980s and even had their own comic from Marvel UK. But this is OiNK, so take that name and think of an appropriately ghoulish (and piggy) take on sweet and cuddly soft toys and what do you come up with? The Scare Boars of course. I noticed there’s a little copyright line from IPC Magazines below this Madvertisement, so jokingly thought the publisher had considered they’d make for good merchandise.

As it turns out this wasn’t so far-fetched after all. Patrick tells me, “I think IPC recognised that the characters (mocked up to a finished standard) could be highly marketable and might draw the attention of potential investors, and therefore deemed it necessary to state ownership (which, incidentally, they’d already stated in the full imprint earlier on). Though, whether they own as much as they claim is another matter!” (The ‘imprint’ is the copyright notice printed in each issue.)

Who wouldn’t have wanted to own one of these? Which one would you have picked? For me it would have been Hampire Boar but it appears he and Skele Boar could be out there terrorising unsuspecting kids if a video posted by Patrick on the his YouTube channel is anything to go by. Check this out.

I know from social media that this particular Madvertisement is a favourite among many, so to see one of its creators with Hunchback Boar like this is brilliant! So funny. If you’re not already a member of the OiNK Facebook group you should really join because it’s a great place for pig pals to chat and OiNK’s contributors (in particular Patrick) are always sharing bits and pieces about the creation of our favourite comic. Unmissable.

At this point I’d normally select a few memorable panels from various strips to give you an inkling of the rest of the issue’s contents. Instead, this time I wanted to show off two little panels from the Golden Trough Awards which were now being drawn by co-editor Tony Husband. A Hallowe’en special wouldn’t be complete without a Dracula story and here the terrified villagers have hatched a plan to rid themselves of the Count once and for all, and it involves headphones.

This wouldn’t be the last time Steve Wright would be the butt of a joke in OiNK. In fact, just to show how he could laugh at himself and take it all in good jest he would appear in a later issue and collect an award for Worst DJ as voted for by the readers!

“It all started six months later back in London when the mummy tried to sell them double-glazing every night for a month…”
The Curse of the Mummy (Jeremy Banx)

Over the past few issues Jeremy Banx contributed some genuinely laugh-out-loud moments with some very surreal one-off strips, the kind he does so well. If you’ve missed Mrs. Warsaw-Pact or Ian Nasalcavity Visits his Grandparents you can check them out in the reviews for #10 and #11 respectively before we move on to the last of this little series of random extra strips.

In The Curse of the Mummy we’re introduced to more impossibly-named individuals, Barty Pimple-Squeak and Mervin Vermin-St. John-Platt who are searching the tomb of an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. Not to be outdone, the former ruler is none other that King Sir Alf Rameses III and all of that is just in the opening caption! Just remember this is a Banx strip, so clearly whatever curse is unleashed upon the archaeologists is like nothing you could predict.

Being fascinated with Ancient Egypt myself this was a very welcome surprise. In fact, maybe due to my interest in the subject matter and how this perfectly spoofs it (or maybe just because Jeremy is a genius) this had me laughing even more than the previous two I mentioned above. Every single panel has a brilliant gag so good any one of them could be used as a punchline to end lesser strips! This is right up there with Jaws ’86 for me.

“Through the interaction of vile jellies and mushy peas, the dumped dinners came to life!”
Lew Stringer (Monster Mash)

The final highlight is the other event strip and it’s the introduction to a much-loved character who may only appear in a handful of editions, but who left a big impression. A very BIG impression. This was the issue before I originally started buying OiNK as a kid and it’s such a shame because as a child I loved watching those old rubber-suited Godzilla monster movies late at night on Channel Four, so this would’ve been right up my alley. It’s time to welcome Pigswilla.

Co-editor Mark Rodgers had the idea for a strip where a massive collection of discarded school dinners came to life. He wrote the first script and then handed it off to Lew Stringer to develop further before drawing it. Originally called “The School Dinner Monster” Lew changed this to Monster Mash and created ‘Pigzilla’ to combat the sludge. In their collaborative effort Mark changed this to ‘Pigswilla’ which is of course brilliant. Only appearing in seven editions of the comic (including two of the annuals) made every one of his stories an extra special treat.

Lew wrote about the creation of Pigswilla and this particular strip on his Lew Stringer Comics blog back in 2016 to mark its 30th anniversary, where he mentions working with Mark and how the paper used to print OiNK made for some lovely artistic choices.

Lew writes: “As OiNK was printed on quality paper (as opposed to the newsprint of its companion comics Buster, Whizzer and Chips etc.) I knew we could be a bit more adventurous with the rendering of the artwork so I thought a grey wash would give it more depth. I was really pleased with how the strip turned out and it remains one of my favourite pieces 30 years later.” Head on over to Lew’s blog for more.

I hope you all have a horrific Hallowe’en in the best possible way. What a great way to mark the season this issue has been. No wonder it’s Lew’s favourite issue from the first calendar year of OiNK and one of Patrick’s favourites from the whole run.

At the time of writing this post it’s a busy time on the blog with more real time read throughs beginning and bringing the current running total to six at once! The review of the first issue of the latest series will actually be up on 31st October, Hallowe’en itself, which is just perfect for that comic as you’ll see. Then just one day later the 14th issue of OiNK, the first I ever owned(!) will be reviewed on Monday 1st November 2021 or as I like to call it, the beginning of Christmas Eve Month.

iSSUE 12 < > iSSUE 14

OiNK! #11: ON YER BiKE!

20 September 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue of OiNK contains the conclusion to the first Street-Hogs story, the spoof adventure strip which began right back in #1 (with a prelude in the preview issue) and they’ve taken over. Not only is their strip three pages long inside but we also get this gorgeous wraparound cover poster by their incredible illustrator, J.T. Dogg and the general theme of the issue is biking. There’s even a free motorbike model. Sort of.

Things kick off brilliantly with a parody of a very famous children’s character in Nobby Gets a New Set of Wheels, credited to Ena Blighty, a riff on Enid Blyton who would continue to pop up in comedy takes of other books. Written and drawn by co-editor Patrick Gallagher it looks like a traditional children’s picture-panel comic story and his art style suits it perfectly. The real Noddy may be pushing on a bit now but I doubt he’s grown up quite like this version.

Motorbikes are all over the first few pages. Uncle Pigg runs over Mary Lighthouse who was out in the middle of the street with placards campaigning for road safetly, after which our esteemed editor reminds the viewers to never “stand in the middle of the road waving your arms about!”. Zootown, the Golden Trough Awards, even the Plops and a new superhero Hedgehog Boy (his first and last appearance because hedgehogs, roads and motorbikes do not mix) all hit the mark with both the theme and the funny bone.

One of the regulars getting in on the action is someone I haven’t introduced yet. Created by David Haldane he was a big hit with readers. In fact he was a big hit with everything, from skyscrapers to airships to whole armies. Basically, take the concept of Godzilla but change him into a friendly but ginormous hippopotamus and you have Hugo the Hungry Hippo.

No relation to the creatures in Milton Bradley/Hasbro’s tabletop game, Hugo was a pacifist and would only accidentally terrorise humans along the way. While the strip was basically the same set up every issue he was a fan favourite, going on to appear in 33 editions of OiNK altogether. It’s funny how our memories work sometimes, isn’t it? I was sure I remembered reading Hugo right to the end of the run but he actually disappeared not long into the comic’s second year, only reappearing randomly a few more times after that.

The main event is up next, the three-page finale to The Street-Hogs which takes over the middle of the comic. It might be initially disappointing to see this two-colour page below. It is beautifully grey-scaled though, something OiNK could do on its glossy paper that other IPC comics couldn’t on their newsprint. But anyway, this is only page one and the others are presented in their the usual full-colour gorgeousness and bring the tale to a suitably crazy end.

This episode really does pack it all in. There’s even a cliffhanger for turning over the page. Between the over-the-top sound effects right out of the silly 60s Batman, to the clichéd evil lair being an underground apple sauce factory, to the final battle coming down to a faulty wig. There’s a piece of comedic genius in every panel thanks to the incredible writing talents of Mark Rodgers and the way J.T. Dogg brings it all to the page.

That next adventure alluded to in the final panel, Day of the Triffics isn’t coming as soon as readers may have hoped, we won’t see it until around this time next year. It’ll be worth the wait though and in the meantime from #15 there’ll be a brand new adventure from another much-loved porky personality, Ham Dare: Pig of the Future for all those Dogg fans!

Attach handlebar/light attachment (N) to discombobulator attachment (O) at attachment attachment point (M) attach the attachment with anything you like, as long as it doesn’t smell.
Uncle Pigg’s Road-Hogg instructions

From Dogg’s Hogs to the Road-Hogg, it can’t have escaped fans’ attentions that two of the superb bikes with all of their exaggerated abilities were destroyed in the strip above. Unceremoniously dragged off at the end, later in the issue came the chance for readers to build one of their own. Advertised on the cover as “a free cut-out motorbike”, in typical OiNK fashion even this had a punchline as you’ll see if you take a look at the page below. All you need to do is follow the instructions.

The person responsible for this fiendish extra was Daz, aka Dave Skillin who had already contributed some great spoof children’s stories in these early issues, such as The Wonderful Adventure of Billy Batt and his Magic Hat which I featured in #1‘s review. Brilliantly, just last year a pig pal (probably in the grip of lockdown craziness) decided to try and actually build it! Here’s what Sue M. Hall said about attempting this seemingly impossible task:

“I have spent recent weeks making the cardboard cut out motorbike, ‘Uncle Pigg’s Road Hogg’. Like Mount Everest, because it’s there. However, it was drawn with parts that did not actually fit together. You had to use your imagination, and make additional parts. I challenged myself to use as many of the parts in the drawing as I could. I also added a V- twin engine where the panels labelled Oink! were. I had to shrink the Oink lettering so as not to obscure the engine, or the pattern on the fuel tank.”

Sue shared this on the Oink! Comic Facebook group and has kindly given me permission to show it to you all here. I think you’ll agree this is a fantastic piece of model building, especially given the fact it was never actually meant to be built! As for Daz himself, here is a recent self-portrait he created of himself, supplied by Patrick.

Also in this issue you’ll find Scruff of the Track which was drawn by the late and very, very great Andy Roper. You can check it out in all its glory on the obituary post for Andy posted earlier this year. Both The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile and Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins have strong anti-bullying messages delivered with plenty of laughs, Burp’s attempts to befriend us humans once again go awry after his window cleaning (via his gigantic tongue) doesn’t account for one small detail, then Billy’s Brain partakes in the Highland Games and some gentle mocking.

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Billy’s Brain** by *David Haldane*

None of these four highlights may involve the subject but it was never a hard and fast rule, more of a suggestion. I’m sure behind the scenes there would’ve been back and forth between the editors and the contributors to make sure enough of the contents matched the overall theme, although this could vary from issue-to-issue so we never knew what to expect.

Two weeks ago we were treated to not only one of the best Mr. Big Nose instalments from Jeremy Banx, but also Mrs Warsaw-Pact who was sick and tired of her son making a fuss when it was time for school, so she had him put down and stuffed. Really. Well, I’m very happy to say another unique one-off can be found here, this time called Ian Nasalcavity (where does he get these names?) Visits his Grandparents. The title alone leads us to believe we’re in for another surreal treat and I was certainly not to be disappointed.

From stuffing a child so he’d behave in school to decapitating someone by tying their tie and leaving his body to wander aimlessly in the streets, I think it’s safe to say none of our other humour comics were producing anything remotely similar to these. What I love the most is his family’s complete lack of worry at what they’ve done; they just either stick his head back on or push him out the door, shirking all responsibility, forever leaving poor Ian to live his life without a head rather than own up.

The Hallowe’en issue of OiNK (which will be reviewed in four weeks from the time of writing) will contain more of these Banx gems so watch our for them. While I can only show a few selected highlights I think it’s a safe bet at least one of them will be included.

I often wondered what on Earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking photos

We’ve made our way to the end of another issue and on page 31 is the first full-page GBH Catalogue to feature in the comic. The dodgy mail order company had a hand in every pie and future issues would see them promote everything from book clubs to holidays. All of these contained products which were atrociously poor quality and sold for vastly over inflated prices. This BMX catalogue is certainly no exception.

I often wondered what on earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking the pictures for their photo stories, but what about this one? The poor fella on the bike is Patrick’s younger brother, Mike Gallagher. Patrick kindly sent me another photo of Mike to try to make up for the one above. He said it was of him at home, but actually Mike is on stage in a production of The Playboy of the Western World at The Wilmslow Green Room in Cheshire. I wonder if the GBH Catalogue is on his resume?

So that’s us, another issue of OiNK comes to a close and gets placed back onto the shelf. The next issue is the Movies Special and you’ll find the review right here on the OiNK Blog on Monday 4th October 2021. But to finish off here’s one final little strip from this issue with a name that’s a play on words on my favourite novel of all time and some of my own very favourite movies and television shows. Until next time, enjoy Ian Jackson‘s War of the Worms.

iSSUE TEN < > iSSUE TWELVE

OiNK! #10: A CLASS ACT

6 September 2021 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

This colourful, busy cover by Mike Roberts is just superb and takes me right back to the 1990s. The 90s? Yes, OiNK may have been my first comic but Mike also had a hand in my first magazine, Future‘s Commodore Format, published between 1990 and 1996. Every month he drew the adventures of Roger Frames which sat between the mini-reviews of the ‘Budjit Games’. Mike’s work can be found in four issues of OiNK and the first 31 issues of CF, the latter he returned to for #61 to draw the final cover. Here are the illustrations from my first issue, #14 (oddly enough, the same number I began OiNK with).

Mike’s OiNK cover perfectly sums up #10; it’s chock full of great content, jam-packed with random humorous moments, there’s plenty of chaos and anarchy, and loads of genuine laugh-out-loud moments. It’s been very difficult to whittle its 32 pages down to a few highlights and I’ve had to leave out some real gems. There were just too many.

To prove my point here’s a quick glimpse of some of that content, beginning with the one character you just knew would relish the theme. This issue’s Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile – Aged 7 5/8 (yearƨ) sees him trying a variety of excuses to get out of returning to school, only for his mum to admit it doesn’t start until the next day, she just wanted to see what tricks he was going to try. Jelly-Belly Johnson is a one-off photo story featuring young friend of Patrick Gallagher’s, James O’Malley winning a jelly eating contest, the Skiver’s Survival Kit has everything needed to get out of various lessons and in Tom Thug we meet Wayne Brayne for the first time.

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Jelly-Belly Johnson** starred *James O’Malley*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

Lew has mentioned in the comments to this post that in the original script Wayne asked Tom, “Are you having a fit?” and Mark Rodgers changed it to the line above, because obviously there’s nothing funny about having a fit. Thanks for the info, Lew! Wayne would pop up now and again in Tom’s strips to outwit the thug, not that this was particularly difficult, of course. He’d also sometimes appear in Buster after the merge.

After I discovered OiNK I can remember often taking each new issue into school for my friends to read, in a blatant attempt to get them to start buying it themselves instead of what I called their “boring comics”. I can imagine this particular issue going down particularly well in classrooms across the country.

We haven’t had a comical shark in a few issues but thankfully here’s Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental to fix that, as ever brought to the page by Ian Knox.

One-panel genius. Not Roger, admittedly, I mean the writers and Ian’s perfect style for the character. Throughout his appearances Roger would be written by a variety of talented individuals, notably Graham Exton, Keith Forrest and later Howard Osborne. Graham originally created the character as ‘Barmy Barney’ but, in Graham’s own words, “The Three Wise Men renamed him Roger Rental.” While there are no credits here Graham says co-editor Mark Rodgers was always very good at crediting other writers so most likely this was by Mark himself.

This issue’s Mr. Big Nose turned a work colleague of mine into an OiNK fan

Jeremy Banx‘s Mr Big Nose steals the show on a regular basis with his uniquely surreal humour and unexpected punchlines. By all means they don’t make an awful lot of sense but that’s what made them so funny to the young (and now the not-so-young) audience. It was just lovable nonsense. This issue’s strip also turned a work colleague of mine into an OiNK fan several years back.

When I was reading the comic for the previous version of the blog I posted the strip below on Twitter and a woman I worked with, who had previously rolled her eyes at what I was doing in my spare time, admitted she loved it and couldn’t stop laughing when she saw it. Apparently thinking I was reading something more akin to Beano or The Dandy, it had taken her by complete surprise. Thanks to it and another Banx strip later in this issue I ended up lending her my OiNK Book 1988 and she loved every silly page.

Success.

I’ve another personal story about this little one-off from Ed McHenry too. Before collecting the whole run and putting together the original blog back in 2013 I’d bought a handful of issues online to reminisce with. (Little did I know it’d turn back into an obsession again.) When they arrived I took a couple down to the house of my girlfriend at the time where I was staying for the weekend.

I hadn’t had a chance to flick through them yet so I was oblivious to their contents. I started to casually scan over them while she was curled up asleep on the sofa next to me after a tough day at work. I should also explain that my laugh can be rather loud, especially when I’m caught off guard, and I was already doing my best not to laugh at Graham Norton’s show on TV so as not to wake her up.

“Don’t be frightened by bullies, kids! And don’t try to scare anyone yourself!”
Uncle Pigg (Cowardly Custard)

I was doing a very good job of it too until I read Mike Slammer. Well that was it. I erupted into laughter! She jumped awake! I tried to apologise but I couldn’t stop laughing. When I eventually calmed down and explained I wasn’t actually laughing at scaring her awake, I showed her the culprit. One strange look and a shake of the head later and the status quo returned, albeit it with my attention solely on the TV, just in case.

Moving on, one of the most enjoyable series in these early issues are the Pigg Tales, double-page stories introduced by Uncle Pigg and often with a moral at the end (in a typical OiNK fashion). So far on this read through I’ve shown you The Revenge Squad in the preview issue and Testing Time in #1, both of which were hilariously drawn by Tom Paterson. This issue’s school-based tale is Cowardly Custard, illustrated by OiNK-supremo Ian Jackson.

Contrary to critics of the comic at the time, OiNK contained some strong moral messages within its pages, especially of the anti-smoking variety which you’ll see here in due course. (They even created a complete OiNK Smokebuster Special comic to give away to schools.) They just didn’t preach at us. Instead they created Madvertisements or funny strips like the one above, which is clearly an anti-bullying story but presented in an original way.

I love the different character designs for each of the kids and how the usual comic strip cliché of the victim turning the tide on the bully is then also turned upon. The victim teaches the bully a lesson, but then the other bullies teach the victim a lesson. The message is clear: Don’t become the bully! All told through giving the reader a good laugh. Job done.

Getting a reference to the Warsaw Pact into a kids’ comic could only have come from the mind of Jeremy Banx

Cowardly Custard is a main highlight of the issue and it’s nice to actually see our editor in a strip, what with him not getting his usual introduction on page two for the first time. While OiNK would have so much variety and so many different art styles it always felt like Uncle Pigg’s various appearances throughout tied everything together. In this issue he also pops up on the Grunts letters page and in an advertisement for those ‘Prime Porky Products‘ of OiNK merchandise.

Okay, so earlier I showed you the Mr Big Nose strip that sold the whole premise of OiNK to a work colleague. Over the course of a few issues, starting with this one, Jeremy Banx got some extra space to deliver us some hilarious one-off strips. The first one is below and was the one I alluded to above.

Getting a reference to the Warsaw Pact into a kids’ comic, and as the name of a character no less, is so out there it could only have come from the mind of Jeremy. But let’s not brush over the fact this character then proceeds to have her child put down. Then stuffed. Innocently slipped into the issue it’s an example of something we just found silly fun as children, then are so surprised by as adults (in the best possible way, of course). Brilliance.

Finally, the issue also contains the penultimate part of the epic Street-Hogs story which started right back in the preview issue (and you can check out a full chapter in #1’s review), ending with yet another cliffhanger they’ll get out of in a most improbable way in a fortnight’s time. The heroes are also the focus of the Next Issue promotion.

In two weeks then it’s the conclusion of The Street-Hogs’ first adventure, with a general biking and motoring theme for the rest of the issue too. But it wouldn’t be long before the next spoof adventure series to be masterfully drawn by J.T. Dogg would appear, and it was the first my younger self clapped eyes on his art style. So watch out for the introduction of Ham Dare: Pig of the Future in a few short months.

That aforementioned next issue will be here for you to peruse on Monday 20th September.

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