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OiNK! #14: THE BEGiNNiNG

1 November 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

So this is an exciting review for me. This was the first issue of OiNK I ever read back as a kid. Not only that, this was the first ever comic I could call my own. While my brother and sisters had been reading the likes of The Beano, Bunty and Look-In this was the first comic bought specifically for me, after I saw this funny Jeremy Banx cover in the newsagent. But it was a certain page inside which has made me recognise this as my first issue today and we’ll get to that below.

Once I knew this fact the memories came flooding back, like seeing the cover for the first time and being introduced to my first OiNK spoof, The Unprofessionals. Based on the iconic television show, my dad and brother used to watch it all the time so I was fully aware of it and thought this was such a funny take on it. I’m sure I must’ve showed it to them. Drawn by Ron Tiner (The Hotspur, Battle Action, Hellblazer) if there had been an official comic based on the show some of these caricatures wouldn’t have looked out of place.

It’s a lovingly crafted spoof and superbly highlights the over-the-top violence of the series but in a funny, kid friendly way. Ron would go on to contribute to 16 issues of OiNK including two further parody serials based on Sherlock Holmes and King Solomon. I didn’t know comics did this kind of thing. Of course, they didn’t really, OiNK was unique. Being a fan of Spitting Image at the time (my brother watched it and we shared a room, I didn’t really understand what was going on but I found it funny) this really appealed and was a big reason I wanted to read more OiNK.

Marc Riley’s appearances as Snatcher Sam were always highlights of the issues he appeared in

Crime might seem like a strange topic for a kids’ comic, but Mary Lighthouse (critic) and her real world counterpart had nothing to worry about, the message was very clear that crime doesn’t pay. Criminals and bullies met their comeuppance in highly imaginative ways throughout, and in one case a thief actually came good and became a private detective. That thief was of course Snatcher Sam, as portrayed by Marc Riley. This being my first encounter with him I was unaware of his dodgy past but that didn’t make this any less funny.

Marc’s appearances as Sam were always highlights of the issues he appeared in, though I was surprised to find out the character only appeared in nine of the editions I owned as a child (and only 16 altogether). I could’ve sworn he was in almost every single one, but perhaps I just reread them a lot! People sometimes doubt me when I say this comic still makes me laugh but if any proof was needed the second panel on the second page had me roaring.

A character who had been a regular in the early issues but whose appearances had reduced by this stage was Maggie Pie, Collector of Weird Things, a young girl with an obsession of finding new things to collect no matter how weird, random or disgusting. Always written by Tony Husband and drawn by Clive Collins (Punch, Reader’s Digest and Life Vice-President of The Cartoonists’ Club of Great Britain) her earlier strips have been a bit hit-and-miss with me personally but this one gave me a good old giggle.

Maggie appeared in just ten editions including the first annual and many remember her as a regular, maybe because it looked like she was going to be one at the very beginning when she appeared in nearly every issue. Clive would return a few more times, most memorably for some brilliant Walt Disney parodies and when it was announced he’d won an award for cartooning excellence.

This was the first appearance of Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith!

This issue also introduces another semi-regular character. After the skeleton staff accidentally let butchers into the pages of the comic while Uncle Pigg was on holiday in #8, Jeremy Banx began a series of Butcher Watch Updates with various exaggerated butcher caricatures, each more menacing than the last. While they all seemed to like their jobs a little too much, one stood out enough that he’d return now and again as the nemesis of anthropomorphic pigs everywhere. This was the first appearance of Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith. A small part of the issue this time around, he’d soon ascend to become a menace we’d all love to hate.

Other highlights also include Ian Knox‘s background animals in Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental, Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins being set up for something and the hidden evidence is just ridiculous and in Tom Thug the bullying pillock faces his own nemesis, a victim’s big sister.

**Butcher Watch** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Roger Rental** drawn by *Ian Knox*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

Regular blog readers will no doubt remember the insane amount of puns written by Graham Exton for Fish Theatre in #6 a few months back. Of course, depending on how well you received those puns you may have tried to blank it from your memory! I was a big fan though, in fact the more groans a pun can produce the better. Graham said he used up enough puns for several scripts on that one page, just giving himself more work in the long run. Well, it appears he hasn’t learned his lesson.

Graham has decided to revisit the idea with Agadoo (push a pineapple?) Christie’s Murder in the Orient Express Dining Car, a murder mystery where all the characters are vegetables, drawn by Ian Knox. It might not contain puns in every single panel this time around but that doesn’t mean the volume is any more bearable. Just to make sure you don’t miss a groan, each pun is even underlined.

If you can peel your eyes away from that overload of gags the next two highlights confirmed for me this was my first issue. I had the huge three-part poster calendar up on my walls as a kid. The first part was given away free with #15 so I knew I had to have started reading OiNK by that stage at least. Then this half-page promo for it rang a big bell in my head. I remember seeing this little corner of part one and being excited my second issue was going to have such an exciting gift.

I’ve been able to collect the whole calendar again and it now takes pride of place on the wall of my home office inside which I write this very blog. It’s right behind me as I type in fact, in the perfect position for FaceTime calls. With the next three issues I’ll show you the individual parts and then the complete calendar afterwards. Even after all these years it’s a sight to behold, thanks to Ian Jackson‘s brilliant take on Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushboar.

This next page was the conclusive proof this was my first issue. When I did my previous read through seven years ago this was the first page I recognised from any of the early issues. I did a little research to make sure it wasn’t reprinted later in the run and lo and behold it wasn’t, so here we are! You Are The Detective is a riff on the Cluedo board game, complete with suspects and a murder weapon. All the reader had to do was match the cause of death to the suspect. The only thing is, it looks like figuring out something as simple as the weapon isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Hilariously drawn by Mike Roberts (who as I explained in #10’s review was a big part of my teen years) it’s a brilliant piece with a great puzzle to work out. There is an answer there. You just won’t get it. As a kid I spent forever trying to figure this out, determined I wouldn’t look at the answer until I got it myself. I remember lying in bed with the lamp on, still awake late on a school night no less, eventually giving up and checking the answer later in the issue. Needless to say I laughed and then couldn’t believe I’d missed it!

Try to work it out for yourself. The answer is further down this review but the punchline will be so much funnier if you give it a go first. No peeking!

With this being my first issue it was also my first exposure to all of OiNK’s art styles. I’d always assumed most comics had similar styles. That was certainly the impression I got when I browsed through my brother’s Beano and Dandy annuals every Christmas. OiNK was an explosion of creativity and fun by comparison. Even when it came to its back cover it still had so much to give with the brilliant The Hold-Up written by Mark Rodgers and so expertly crafted by Ian Jackson.

“Some shops think OiNK is so clever that they won’t display it with the kids’ stuff!”
Uncle Pigg in reaction to W.H. Smith

The Hold-Up was the best possible sign off from the first time I had a comic all to myself. To be exposed to Ian’s style at such a young age was an incredible experience and I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking this. But to have this as my first issue and then his huge poster straight after, I know it’s a cliché to say it but it blew my little mind.

Before we go there’s the little matter of the solution to the puzzle, which was found under the newsagent reservation coupon which took a dig at W.H. Smith, who by this time had top-shelved OiNK after a couple of parents had complained about a strip. You can read all about this silliness in the review to #7.

Above this was the Next Issue promo and the main event was going to be a certain Ham Dare, Pig of the Future. I’ll show you that promo box before the next review as always but for now that’s it, my trip back to a very special moment in my life is complete. I’d buy the next issue and then place a regular order, staying with the comic all the way through to the final issue.

The next OiNK will be reviewed on Monday 15th November 2021, however next Monday the 8th there’ll be that special post to mark the actual anniversary of my reading this issue. I hope you’ll join me then to mark the occasion.

iSSUE 13 < > iSSUE 15

OiNK! #13: FRiGHTFULLY FUNNY

18 October 2021 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

A brilliant headline pun welcomes us to the Hallowe’en issue of OiNK and what a great piece of coincidental timing, having the thirteenth issue out for the spooky season. At a time when most other humour comics had a strip on the front OiNK’s bold, colourful covers really stood out and I think you’ll agree that’s certainly the case here with Ben Turner‘s one and only contribution to the comic and co-editor Patrick Gallagher‘s shivering version of his classic logo.

Ben is a seriously talented artist who at the time worked for Cosgrove Hall Productions (Danger Mouse, Count Duckula) alongside other OiNK artists Andy Roper and John Geering. He was also involved in producing and directing and from 1997 to 2006 was Creative Director at Cosgrove Hall Films where one of his projects was The BFG. Now working independently as a freelance director and designer in animation he was Art Director on CBBC’s Chuggington, a show which Patrick actually wrote some episodes for.

What do you think happens when Roger Rental meets the Slithering Horror?

In addition to all the themed laughs inside there are two event strips, both of which involve Lew Stringer. The first is a character crossover between Lew’s Tom Thug and Mike Green‘s Weedy Willy, who was created by Graham Exton and written either by him or co-editor Mark Rodgers. It kicks off with their individual strips. Tom was drawn by a 27-and-three-quarters-years-old Lew (according to his signature) and also includes future star Pete and his Pimple‘s sister Zeta.

Embarrassed in front of a girl by his own ineptness he’s jokingly compared to Willy and, Tom being the dim-witted bully he is, naturally decides to go and beat up Willy as revenge for this slight. At the same time Willy is yet again falling foul of his own attempts to woo Dishy Mandy who compares his intelligence to Tom’s. Everything is now set for a Clash of the Titans! We even get to see Tom angrily cutting across a field to get to his nemesis in Davy Francis‘ Cowpat County.

The idea for the strip was suggested by Graham as a battle “between the two cowards, Tom and Willy.” Mark then scripted and in the days before the internet the artwork was shared via post. Lew pencilled and inked his bits first, loosely indicating in pencil where Weedy Willy should be. According to Lew, Mike was free to change these of course and it was all achieved quite easily in the end, as he doesn’t recall any back and forth being necessary.

I love how in the end these two complete opposites are more alike than they’ll ever realise. Everything they say out loud is said by the other at exactly the same time. Lew’s and Mike’s different styles come together flawlessly so it’s unfortunate it’d be the only time something like this would be created for the comic. There would be crossovers between Lew’s characters and different artists would draw one another’s for guest appearances, but this is a truly unique strip and one of the classics of the whole run.

Moving on to the Hallowe’en hilarity and one of our favourite characters finds himself up against an unspeakable terror. So what do you think happens when Ian Knox‘s Roger Rental Meets the Slithering Horror?

Of course.

The next two strips are perfect examples of the little one-offs which made up so much of our fortnightly dose of OiNK, the first of which is also the debut of Davey Jones to its pages (and his first published comics work). Davey is best known for his work on Viz, which he would freelancing for before joining their staff in 1990. Some of his most famous creations are The Real Ale Twats, Gilbert Ratchet and Major Misunderstanding.

Here he puts a new spin on an old dog trick in Henry the Wonder Dog. Davey would contribute to 17 issues of OiNK altogether but as for Henry he’d only reappear once in #29. Strangely, so would the joke in a different strip later in the run.

The second mini-strip here is another by Lew Stringer. Doctor Jeckyll’s Experiment could’ve been told over half as many panels, but with the extra space here Lew’s expert comedic timing really pays off with some hilarious facial expressions, especially from the newly furry Jeckyll.

Do you remember the Care Bears, the saccharin Sunday morning cartoon with garishly coloured teddy bears? Based on the toys of the same name they were everywhere in the 1980s and even had their own comic from Marvel UK. But this is OiNK, so take that name and think of an appropriately ghoulish (and piggy) take on sweet and cuddly soft toys and what do you come up with? The Scare Boars of course. I noticed there’s a little copyright line from IPC Magazines below this Madvertisement, so jokingly thought the publisher had considered they’d make for good merchandise.

As it turns out this wasn’t so far-fetched after all. Patrick tells me, “I think IPC recognised that the characters (mocked up to a finished standard) could be highly marketable and might draw the attention of potential investors, and therefore deemed it necessary to state ownership (which, incidentally, they’d already stated in the full imprint earlier on). Though, whether they own as much as they claim is another matter!” (The ‘imprint’ is the copyright notice printed in each issue.)

Who wouldn’t have wanted to own one of these? Which one would you have picked? For me it would have been Hampire Boar but it appears he and Skele Boar could be out there terrorising unsuspecting kids if a video posted by Patrick on the his YouTube channel is anything to go by. Check this out.

I know from social media that this particular Madvertisement is a favourite among many, so to see one of its creators with Hunchback Boar like this is brilliant! So funny. If you’re not already a member of the OiNK Facebook group you should really join because it’s a great place for pig pals to chat and OiNK’s contributors (in particular Patrick) are always sharing bits and pieces about the creation of our favourite comic. Unmissable.

At this point I’d normally select a few memorable panels from various strips to give you an inkling of the rest of the issue’s contents. Instead, this time I wanted to show off two little panels from the Golden Trough Awards which were now being drawn by co-editor Tony Husband. A Hallowe’en special wouldn’t be complete without a Dracula story and here the terrified villagers have hatched a plan to rid themselves of the Count once and for all, and it involves headphones.

This wouldn’t be the last time Steve Wright would be the butt of a joke in OiNK. In fact, just to show how he could laugh at himself and take it all in good jest he would appear in a later issue and collect an award for Worst DJ as voted for by the readers!

“It all started six months later back in London when the mummy tried to sell them double-glazing every night for a month…”
The Curse of the Mummy (Jeremy Banx)

Over the past few issues Jeremy Banx contributed some genuinely laugh-out-loud moments with some very surreal one-off strips, the kind he does so well. If you’ve missed Mrs. Warsaw-Pact or Ian Nasalcavity Visits his Grandparents you can check them out in the reviews for #10 and #11 respectively before we move on to the last of this little series of random extra strips.

In The Curse of the Mummy we’re introduced to more impossibly-named individuals, Barty Pimple-Squeak and Mervin Vermin-St. John-Platt who are searching the tomb of an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. Not to be outdone, the former ruler is none other that King Sir Alf Rameses III and all of that is just in the opening caption! Just remember this is a Banx strip, so clearly whatever curse is unleashed upon the archaeologists is like nothing you could predict.

Being fascinated with Ancient Egypt myself this was a very welcome surprise. In fact, maybe due to my interest in the subject matter and how this perfectly spoofs it (or maybe just because Jeremy is a genius) this had me laughing even more than the previous two I mentioned above. Every single panel has a brilliant gag so good any one of them could be used as a punchline to end lesser strips! This is right up there with Jaws ’86 for me.

“Through the interaction of vile jellies and mushy peas, the dumped dinners came to life!”
Lew Stringer (Monster Mash)

The final highlight is the other event strip and it’s the introduction to a much-loved character who may only appear in a handful of editions, but who left a big impression. A very BIG impression. This was the issue before I originally started buying OiNK as a kid and it’s such a shame because as a child I loved watching those old rubber-suited Godzilla monster movies late at night on Channel Four, so this would’ve been right up my alley. It’s time to welcome Pigswilla.

Co-editor Mark Rodgers had the idea for a strip where a massive collection of discarded school dinners came to life. He wrote the first script and then handed it off to Lew Stringer to develop further before drawing it. Originally called “The School Dinner Monster” Lew changed this to Monster Mash and created ‘Pigzilla’ to combat the sludge. In their collaborative effort Mark changed this to ‘Pigswilla’ which is of course brilliant. Only appearing in seven editions of the comic (including two of the annuals) made every one of his stories an extra special treat.

Lew wrote about the creation of Pigswilla and this particular strip on his Lew Stringer Comics blog back in 2016 to mark its 30th anniversary, where he mentions working with Mark and how the paper used to print OiNK made for some lovely artistic choices.

Lew writes: “As OiNK was printed on quality paper (as opposed to the newsprint of its companion comics Buster, Whizzer and Chips etc.) I knew we could be a bit more adventurous with the rendering of the artwork so I thought a grey wash would give it more depth. I was really pleased with how the strip turned out and it remains one of my favourite pieces 30 years later.” Head on over to Lew’s blog for more.

I hope you all have a horrific Hallowe’en in the best possible way. What a great way to mark the season this issue has been. No wonder it’s Lew’s favourite issue from the first calendar year of OiNK and one of Patrick’s favourites from the whole run.

At the time of writing this post it’s a busy time on the blog with more real time read throughs beginning and bringing the current running total to six at once! The review of the first issue of the latest series will actually be up on 31st October, Hallowe’en itself, which is just perfect for that comic as you’ll see. Then just one day later the 14th issue of OiNK, the first I ever owned(!) will be reviewed on Monday 1st November 2021 or as I like to call it, the beginning of Christmas Eve Month.

iSSUE 12 < > iSSUE 14

OiNK! #11: ON YER BiKE!

20 September 2021 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue of OiNK contains the conclusion to the first Street-Hogs story, the spoof adventure strip which began right back in #1 (with a prelude in the preview issue) and they’ve taken over. Not only is their strip three pages long inside but we also get this gorgeous wraparound cover poster by their incredible illustrator, J.T. Dogg and the general theme of the issue is biking. There’s even a free motorbike model. Sort of.

Things kick off brilliantly with a parody of a very famous children’s character in Nobby Gets a New Set of Wheels, credited to Ena Blighty, a riff on Enid Blyton who would continue to pop up in comedy takes of other books. Written and drawn by co-editor Patrick Gallagher it looks like a traditional children’s picture-panel comic story and his art style suits it perfectly. The real Noddy may be pushing on a bit now but I doubt he’s grown up quite like this version.

Motorbikes are all over the first few pages. Uncle Pigg runs over Mary Lighthouse who was out in the middle of the street with placards campaigning for road safetly, after which our esteemed editor reminds the viewers to never “stand in the middle of the road waving your arms about!”. Zootown, the Golden Trough Awards, even the Plops and a new superhero Hedgehog Boy (his first and last appearance because hedgehogs, roads and motorbikes do not mix) all hit the mark with both the theme and the funny bone.

One of the regulars getting in on the action is someone I haven’t introduced yet. Created by David Haldane he was a big hit with readers. In fact he was a big hit with everything, from skyscrapers to airships to whole armies. Basically, take the concept of Godzilla but change him into a friendly but ginormous hippopotamus and you have Hugo the Hungry Hippo.

No relation to the creatures in Milton Bradley/Hasbro’s tabletop game, Hugo was a pacifist and would only accidentally terrorise humans along the way. While the strip was basically the same set up every issue he was a fan favourite, going on to appear in 33 editions of OiNK altogether. It’s funny how our memories work sometimes, isn’t it? I was sure I remembered reading Hugo right to the end of the run but he actually disappeared not long into the comic’s second year, only reappearing randomly a few more times after that.

The main event is up next, the three-page finale to The Street-Hogs which takes over the middle of the comic. It might be initially disappointing to see this two-colour page below. It is beautifully grey-scaled though, something OiNK could do on its glossy paper that other IPC comics couldn’t on their newsprint. But anyway, this is only page one and the others are presented in their the usual full-colour gorgeousness and bring the tale to a suitably crazy end.

This episode really does pack it all in. There’s even a cliffhanger for turning over the page. Between the over-the-top sound effects right out of the silly 60s Batman, to the clichéd evil lair being an underground apple sauce factory, to the final battle coming down to a faulty wig. There’s a piece of comedic genius in every panel thanks to the incredible writing talents of Mark Rodgers and the way J.T. Dogg brings it all to the page.

That next adventure alluded to in the final panel, Day of the Triffics isn’t coming as soon as readers may have hoped, we won’t see it until around this time next year. It’ll be worth the wait though and in the meantime from #15 there’ll be a brand new adventure from another much-loved porky personality, Ham Dare: Pig of the Future for all those Dogg fans!

Attach handlebar/light attachment (N) to discombobulator attachment (O) at attachment attachment point (M) attach the attachment with anything you like, as long as it doesn’t smell.
Uncle Pigg’s Road-Hogg instructions

From Dogg’s Hogs to the Road-Hogg, it can’t have escaped fans’ attentions that two of the superb bikes with all of their exaggerated abilities were destroyed in the strip above. Unceremoniously dragged off at the end, later in the issue came the chance for readers to build one of their own. Advertised on the cover as “a free cut-out motorbike”, in typical OiNK fashion even this had a punchline as you’ll see if you take a look at the page below. All you need to do is follow the instructions.

The person responsible for this fiendish extra was Daz, aka Dave Skillin who had already contributed some great spoof children’s stories in these early issues, such as The Wonderful Adventure of Billy Batt and his Magic Hat which I featured in #1‘s review. Brilliantly, just last year a pig pal (probably in the grip of lockdown craziness) decided to try and actually build it! Here’s what Sue M. Hall said about attempting this seemingly impossible task:

“I have spent recent weeks making the cardboard cut out motorbike, ‘Uncle Pigg’s Road Hogg’. Like Mount Everest, because it’s there. However, it was drawn with parts that did not actually fit together. You had to use your imagination, and make additional parts. I challenged myself to use as many of the parts in the drawing as I could. I also added a V- twin engine where the panels labelled Oink! were. I had to shrink the Oink lettering so as not to obscure the engine, or the pattern on the fuel tank.”

Sue shared this on the Oink! Comic Facebook group and has kindly given me permission to show it to you all here. I think you’ll agree this is a fantastic piece of model building, especially given the fact it was never actually meant to be built! As for Daz himself, here is a recent self-portrait he created of himself, supplied by Patrick.

Also in this issue you’ll find Scruff of the Track which was drawn by the late and very, very great Andy Roper. You can check it out in all its glory on the obituary post for Andy posted earlier this year. Both The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile and Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins have strong anti-bullying messages delivered with plenty of laughs, Burp’s attempts to befriend us humans once again go awry after his window cleaning (via his gigantic tongue) doesn’t account for one small detail, then Billy’s Brain partakes in the Highland Games and some gentle mocking.

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Billy’s Brain** by *David Haldane*

None of these four highlights may involve the subject but it was never a hard and fast rule, more of a suggestion. I’m sure behind the scenes there would’ve been back and forth between the editors and the contributors to make sure enough of the contents matched the overall theme, although this could vary from issue-to-issue so we never knew what to expect.

Two weeks ago we were treated to not only one of the best Mr. Big Nose instalments from Jeremy Banx, but also Mrs Warsaw-Pact who was sick and tired of her son making a fuss when it was time for school, so she had him put down and stuffed. Really. Well, I’m very happy to say another unique one-off can be found here, this time called Ian Nasalcavity (where does he get these names?) Visits his Grandparents. The title alone leads us to believe we’re in for another surreal treat and I was certainly not to be disappointed.

From stuffing a child so he’d behave in school to decapitating someone by tying their tie and leaving his body to wander aimlessly in the streets, I think it’s safe to say none of our other humour comics were producing anything remotely similar to these. What I love the most is his family’s complete lack of worry at what they’ve done; they just either stick his head back on or push him out the door, shirking all responsibility, forever leaving poor Ian to live his life without a head rather than own up.

The Hallowe’en issue of OiNK (which will be reviewed in four weeks from the time of writing) will contain more of these Banx gems so watch our for them. While I can only show a few selected highlights I think it’s a safe bet at least one of them will be included.

I often wondered what on Earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking photos

We’ve made our way to the end of another issue and on page 31 is the first full-page GBH Catalogue to feature in the comic. The dodgy mail order company had a hand in every pie and future issues would see them promote everything from book clubs to holidays. All of these contained products which were atrociously poor quality and sold for vastly over inflated prices. This BMX catalogue is certainly no exception.

I often wondered what on earth passersby would’ve thought if they saw the OiNK guys out taking the pictures for their photo stories, but what about this one? The poor fella on the bike is Patrick’s younger brother, Mike Gallagher. Patrick kindly sent me another photo of Mike to try to make up for the one above. He said it was of him at home, but actually Mike is on stage in a production of The Playboy of the Western World at The Wilmslow Green Room in Cheshire. I wonder if the GBH Catalogue is on his resume?

So that’s us, another issue of OiNK comes to a close and gets placed back onto the shelf. The next issue is the Movies Special and you’ll find the review right here on the OiNK Blog on Monday 4th October 2021. But to finish off here’s one final little strip from this issue with a name that’s a play on words on my favourite novel of all time and some of my own very favourite movies and television shows. Until next time, enjoy Ian Jackson‘s War of the Worms.

iSSUE TEN < > iSSUE TWELVE

OiNK! #10: A CLASS ACT

6 September 2021 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

This colourful, busy cover by Mike Roberts is just superb and takes me right back to the 1990s. The 90s? Yes, OiNK may have been my first comic but Mike also had a hand in my first magazine, Future‘s Commodore Format, published between 1990 and 1996. Every month he drew the adventures of Roger Frames which sat between the mini-reviews of the ‘Budjit Games’. Mike’s work can be found in four issues of OiNK and the first 31 issues of CF, the latter he returned to for #61 to draw the final cover. Here are the illustrations from my first issue, #14 (oddly enough, the same number I began OiNK with).

Mike’s OiNK cover perfectly sums up #10; it’s chock full of great content, jam-packed with random humorous moments, there’s plenty of chaos and anarchy, and loads of genuine laugh-out-loud moments. It’s been very difficult to whittle its 32 pages down to a few highlights and I’ve had to leave out some real gems. There were just too many.

To prove my point here’s a quick glimpse of some of that content, beginning with the one character you just knew would relish the theme. This issue’s Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile – Aged 7 5/8 (yearƨ) sees him trying a variety of excuses to get out of returning to school, only for his mum to admit it doesn’t start until the next day, she just wanted to see what tricks he was going to try. Jelly-Belly Johnson is a one-off photo story featuring young friend of Patrick Gallagher’s, James O’Malley winning a jelly eating contest, the Skiver’s Survival Kit has everything needed to get out of various lessons and in Tom Thug we meet Wayne Brayne for the first time.

**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Jelly-Belly Johnson** starred *James O’Malley*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

Lew has mentioned in the comments to this post that in the original script Wayne asked Tom, “Are you having a fit?” and Mark Rodgers changed it to the line above, because obviously there’s nothing funny about having a fit. Thanks for the info, Lew! Wayne would pop up now and again in Tom’s strips to outwit the thug, not that this was particularly difficult, of course. He’d also sometimes appear in Buster after the merge.

After I discovered OiNK I can remember often taking each new issue into school for my friends to read, in a blatant attempt to get them to start buying it themselves instead of what I called their “boring comics”. I can imagine this particular issue going down particularly well in classrooms across the country.

We haven’t had a comical shark in a few issues but thankfully here’s Roger Rental, He’s Completely Mental to fix that, as ever brought to the page by Ian Knox.

One-panel genius. Not Roger, admittedly, I mean the writers and Ian’s perfect style for the character. Throughout his appearances Roger would be written by a variety of talented individuals, notably Graham Exton, Keith Forrest and later Howard Osborne. Graham originally created the character as ‘Barmy Barney’ but, in Graham’s own words, “The Three Wise Men renamed him Roger Rental.” While there are no credits here Graham says co-editor Mark Rodgers was always very good at crediting other writers so most likely this was by Mark himself.

This issue’s Mr. Big Nose turned a work colleague of mine into an OiNK fan

Jeremy Banx‘s Mr Big Nose steals the show on a regular basis with his uniquely surreal humour and unexpected punchlines. By all means they don’t make an awful lot of sense but that’s what made them so funny to the young (and now the not-so-young) audience. It was just lovable nonsense. This issue’s strip also turned a work colleague of mine into an OiNK fan several years back.

When I was reading the comic for the previous version of the blog I posted the strip below on Twitter and a woman I worked with, who had previously rolled her eyes at what I was doing in my spare time, admitted she loved it and couldn’t stop laughing when she saw it. Apparently thinking I was reading something more akin to Beano or The Dandy, it had taken her by complete surprise. Thanks to it and another Banx strip later in this issue I ended up lending her my OiNK Book 1988 and she loved every silly page.

Success.

I’ve another personal story about this little one-off from Ed McHenry too. Before collecting the whole run and putting together the original blog back in 2013 I’d bought a handful of issues online to reminisce with. (Little did I know it’d turn back into an obsession again.) When they arrived I took a couple down to the house of my girlfriend at the time where I was staying for the weekend.

I hadn’t had a chance to flick through them yet so I was oblivious to their contents. I started to casually scan over them while she was curled up asleep on the sofa next to me after a tough day at work. I should also explain that my laugh can be rather loud, especially when I’m caught off guard, and I was already doing my best not to laugh at Graham Norton’s show on TV so as not to wake her up.

“Don’t be frightened by bullies, kids! And don’t try to scare anyone yourself!”
Uncle Pigg (Cowardly Custard)

I was doing a very good job of it too until I read Mike Slammer. Well that was it. I erupted into laughter! She jumped awake! I tried to apologise but I couldn’t stop laughing. When I eventually calmed down and explained I wasn’t actually laughing at scaring her awake, I showed her the culprit. One strange look and a shake of the head later and the status quo returned, albeit it with my attention solely on the TV, just in case.

Moving on, one of the most enjoyable series in these early issues are the Pigg Tales, double-page stories introduced by Uncle Pigg and often with a moral at the end (in a typical OiNK fashion). So far on this read through I’ve shown you The Revenge Squad in the preview issue and Testing Time in #1, both of which were hilariously drawn by Tom Paterson. This issue’s school-based tale is Cowardly Custard, illustrated by OiNK-supremo Ian Jackson.

Contrary to critics of the comic at the time, OiNK contained some strong moral messages within its pages, especially of the anti-smoking variety which you’ll see here in due course. (They even created a complete OiNK Smokebuster Special comic to give away to schools.) They just didn’t preach at us. Instead they created Madvertisements or funny strips like the one above, which is clearly an anti-bullying story but presented in an original way.

I love the different character designs for each of the kids and how the usual comic strip cliché of the victim turning the tide on the bully is then also turned upon. The victim teaches the bully a lesson, but then the other bullies teach the victim a lesson. The message is clear: Don’t become the bully! All told through giving the reader a good laugh. Job done.

Getting a reference to the Warsaw Pact into a kids’ comic could only have come from the mind of Jeremy Banx

Cowardly Custard is a main highlight of the issue and it’s nice to actually see our editor in a strip, what with him not getting his usual introduction on page two for the first time. While OiNK would have so much variety and so many different art styles it always felt like Uncle Pigg’s various appearances throughout tied everything together. In this issue he also pops up on the Grunts letters page and in an advertisement for those ‘Prime Porky Products‘ of OiNK merchandise.

Okay, so earlier I showed you the Mr Big Nose strip that sold the whole premise of OiNK to a work colleague. Over the course of a few issues, starting with this one, Jeremy Banx got some extra space to deliver us some hilarious one-off strips. The first one is below and was the one I alluded to above.

Getting a reference to the Warsaw Pact into a kids’ comic, and as the name of a character no less, is so out there it could only have come from the mind of Jeremy. But let’s not brush over the fact this character then proceeds to have her child put down. Then stuffed. Innocently slipped into the issue it’s an example of something we just found silly fun as children, then are so surprised by as adults (in the best possible way, of course). Brilliance.

Finally, the issue also contains the penultimate part of the epic Street-Hogs story which started right back in the preview issue (and you can check out a full chapter in #1’s review), ending with yet another cliffhanger they’ll get out of in a most improbable way in a fortnight’s time. The heroes are also the focus of the Next Issue promotion.

In two weeks then it’s the conclusion of The Street-Hogs’ first adventure, with a general biking and motoring theme for the rest of the issue too. But it wouldn’t be long before the next spoof adventure series to be masterfully drawn by J.T. Dogg would appear, and it was the first my younger self clapped eyes on his art style. So watch out for the introduction of Ham Dare: Pig of the Future in a few short months.

That aforementioned next issue will be here for you to peruse on Monday 20th September.

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