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OiNK! #54: PAST PRAiSE, FUTURE SHOCKS

10 March 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

You may have noticed the weekly OiNK reviews have shifted from Saturdays to Fridays this month. Just in case you were wondering why it’s simply because back in 1988 February had 29 days, one more than we had this year. So the shift to a day earlier is to keep things aligned to the original publication dates, which is the whole point of this site after all.

That’s a lot of praise from some surprising sources on the cover. Towards the end of the fortnightlies some clippings were sent in by readers. It might seem like this took a long time but in the pre-internet days and the way comics and magazine deadlines work it would take time for the comic to make an impact, be reviewed, have those reviews printed, then clipped, pasted into the comic and in turn published in OiNK. This issue’s cover decided to sum up previous quotes as well as showing off new ones.

I like the fact it includes some not-so-flattering praise, that little “R.I.P.” being a funny little dig too. The Press Council quote is part of their ruling over the famous complaint placed against the comic which I’ve mentioned before and I’ll take a closer look at soon. As for the banner along the top, perhaps it was the Charlie Brooker Prize? Haha. Always nice to see an Ian Jackson cover and I remember the quotes and clippings pleasing me greatly as a kid because it surely meant OiNK was a huge success and would be around forever. It’s hard to comprehend there are only 14 regular issues left.

Unknown to us at the time a page inside signalled an upcoming change that would ultimately lead to OiNK’s demise.

Reading over the survey there are a lot of silly questions and answers, it wouldn’t be OiNK without them after all, reading almost like a spoof survey but it’s real. The fact there’s nowhere to write in whether the readers wanted it to change to a monthly or not had me thinking this decision was already made. Perhaps the writing was on the wall and this was an attempt to save the comic, worded in such a way to make it seem like it was the choice of pig pals. But I was wrong, for the most part anyway.

“Accept others as they are”
Lew Stringer, Pete and his Pimple

Co-editor Patrick Gallagher tells me, “Our survey, which you refer to, was genuine and not having a designated space for that final question was an error, though the readers used their noggins and scribbled their answers in any available space! And yes, I think it was Fleetway‘s intention to go monthly as it had been to go weekly, from what I can remember, which I didn’t mind – though I can’t remember at the time thinking the writing was on the wall. I think sales were down across the board but OiNK’s figures weren’t the worst – it was the other comic’s figures that dragged it down. In the meantime [the survey was] checking the audiences’ opinions, which may have had some sway.”

Moving on for now and this issue may have been published in 1988 but this week’s Pete and his Pimple feels rather contemporary. Lew Stringer brings his rhyming strip skills to the fore once again in the tale of Johnny Bigot. It’s a wonderfully funny page with a message of “accept others as they are”; a strong message where we laugh at the bully of course, which is very typically OiNK and Lew. It’s a good life lesson and of course the whole basis of Lew’s Tom Thug character. In a world where people like Johnny seem to have louder voices than ever I find this strip rather cathartic.

If this were printed today the Johnny Bigots of the world would probably scream and shout that OiNK was indoctrinating their children to hate others (irony isn’t their strong point), or that it was full of political correctness in a children’s comic. Nonsense of course, but I just think of this and laugh when I see such things online now and I heartily recommend that. Let’s all figuratively burst our pimples at them and let them sow the seeds of their own demise. Reading funny comics is much more fun anyway.

(On a separate note, as a good friend once said to me, it’s not about being “politically correct”, it’s just about being the second word in those quotes.)

Speaking of laughing at the bullies let’s take a look at Lew’s other famous creation, Tom. Two days after the previous issue of OiNK our resident thicko appeared in a half-page strip in sister title Whizzer and Chips to promote his own comic to their readers. In that story, after failing to join the gangs of either Shiner or Sid, he threatened to form his own in the pages of OiNK, creating a unique crossover for a humour comic where a story started in a different title. Below is the first of what would actually be a three-part mini-series called Tom Thug and his Crude Crew.

On the one hand you could ask why it’s taken Tom this long to think about having a gang, what with him often ending up in the state he’s in at the start of this strip. But then again he’s a bully so he’s not the brightest. I did laugh at the depiction of the bigger bully and how it takes Tom so long to finish his sentence (not until he’s conscious again in hospital). Then it takes him six months to get out! Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fryer. This story will continue over the next couple of weeks and I’m eager to see who he selects next as my ol’ memory cells have long forgotten.

Elsewhere in this issue we get another Mary Lighthouse strip. That’s two in as many issues. We’re being spoiled. With my fascination with all things Ancient Egypt I just had to include this little highlight below as she regales us with tales of her family tree. Then, the Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins strip continues its football serial. As you can see co-editor Tony Husband has taken the already ludicrously far-fetched football serials in other comics and newspapers of the day and spoofed them perfectly with this ridiculous tale.

**Mary Lighthouse** written by *Vaughan Brunt*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*

One page that’s usually guaranteed to be a highlight of each issue is Frank Sidebottom’s. Recently he’s moved away from strips (they’ll return, we never knew what to expect from one issue to the next) and was instead informing us of some very funny showbiz gossip. These pages included intricate background art and lots of text to keep us giggling along for a good few minutes but this issue’s page seems a bit ‘off’, it feels a bit rushed.

The first thing that struck me was how his writing is much bigger than usual so it took no time to read; what’s here would’ve normally taken up about half the page, if that. The background isn’t his usual detailed standard either, looking instead like a few squiggles quickly thrown together to give it come colour. What is here is classic Chris Sievey and very funny but I’m just left wanting more and that hasn’t happened before. Then again, he was an extraordinarily busy man to also be producing a weekly comics page, as evidenced in his diary last week.

The back cover was certainly not rushed. Here we find another spoof movie poster drawn by Simon Thorp from a brilliant script by co-editor Mark Rodgers. In 1987 the Masters of the Universe movie starring Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella had been released and flopped. The 80s saw rules against toys being made into cartoons and the like relaxed, giving birth to mega franchises based on action figures etc. This was one such example. The fact these toys were being created as franchises instead of just playthings wasn’t lost on Mark and Simon.

This definitely went some way to making up for the two hours of my life I wasted watching the film. There are so many piggy puns in there. Make sure you read the smaller credits at the bottom under that lavish movie title. The longer you look at this the more little sight gags you can spot as well, such as the GBH ‘Mussel’ to go with the GBH ‘Muscle’ and the fact one of the characters’ legs has fallen off like a cheap action figure. Brilliant, memorable stuff which rounds off the issue perfectly.

One thing that did stick out with this issue was the lack of Hadrian Vile. In fact, he hasn’t been seen since #50. With the weeklies having less pages we’d become somewhat used to characters popping in and out, but a strip that’s been in every single edition since #1 going missing for three issues in a row? A character who was a huge fan favourite and whose diary was a highlight of every single issue he was in? It also meant a lot less from Ian Jackson too, which is always a shame, his work epitomised OiNK. (Thankfully we wouldn’t have long to wait.)

Clearly Patrick is needing a bit of a rest after another busy week putting the issue together so we’ll leave things there for now. There’s a lot to enjoy in the weeks ahead, even if this issue seems to have left me wanting a little bit. But last week was one of the very best OiNKs of them all and what’s here in #54 is still great, so onwards and upwards. Don’t forget the reviews will be coming at you every Friday from now on, so join me here Friday 17th March 2023 for #55 and a couple of days later for the next crossover comic!

iSSUE 53 < > iSSUE 55

OiNK! #52: PiNK MiRROR

25 February 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

The first cover drawn by Chris Sievey, better known as Frank Sidebottom, is a delight of what must’ve been time-consuming details. As a kid I always loved his unique style but I don’t think I gave it the appreciation it really deserved. Look at the panelling in the wooden fence and each individual window in those distant buildings, never mind the brilliant colour work all completed with felt tip pens. I’ve already discussed previously that co-editor Patrick Gallagher told me how long Chris would spend perfecting his OiNK work and this is the perfect example.

On the Grunts page, under a list of the most popular characters (every reader who wrote in was asked to include a coupon with their top three strips) is news that some of those listed will be returning in new mini-series soon, namely The Street-Hogs, The Spectacles of Doom (you can check some of it out in Andy Roper‘s obituary) and Rubbish Man. In #50’s review I touched upon characters some cartoonists had rested. It’s interesting to see the once-regular Rubbish Man alongside two strips that were always mini-series. Perhaps this was how they’d get around having fewer pages for the large amount of characters readers wanted to see.

So what about those showbiz scoops of Frank’s?

My favourite part of this is the difference between the Springsteen headline and what the story actually is; it’s very clever and very funny, reminding me of those headlines you’ll see from certain websites where every word has a capital letter. You know the type. Nice to see the Smokebusters still going strong after first popping up in #46 (and of course the special edition) and the huge headline on the cover is reduced to a tiny side panel with another hilarious non-story behind it all, aping the tabloid press of the day. (Of the present too.)

Elsewhere there’s a fantastic photo collage of Frank’s time recording a sketch for Saturday morning children’s TV show No.73. I loved that show and the page in question will be part of a special post later in the year. That’s all I’m going to say for now, other than it’ll be worth the wait. Back to the issue at hand and underneath a three-quarter-page Pete and his Pimple (backing up what I said for the last two issues about the return of a more varied layout to the comic) is the latest Cowpat County from Davy Francis.

Last week we had a full-page colour strip, now a quarter-page black and white mini but fans wouldn’t have felt short-changed. This was the nature of OiNK; your favourites could pop up irregularly, in different formats from longer stories to quick gags such as this. It’s great to have that feel of the fortnightlies back again and to be enjoying it on a weekly basis. Davy is a master of the quick gag strips so that’s another reason I wasn’t disappointed to see Cowpat County in a much tinier space this time, because I knew I was guaranteed a good chortle.

The highlight of this issue for me is Jeremy Banx’s Burp. That shouldn’t be a surprise, I’ve never made a secret of the fact I’m a huge fan of Jeremy’s work, especially his strips for this particular smelly alien from outer space. But if you cast your mind back to the previous review, when I was delighted to see the return of Alvin and found the now-sentient coffin so funny, you’ll understand why this week’s strip was a particular thrill to read.

As always with Burp’s pages it’s very funny from the offset, giving us this surreal experience of a tax assessor coming to his UFO as if that’s a completely normal thing to happen in this man’s day-to-day working life. In fact, as he’s presented with ever more bizarre creatures he doesn’t run off as we’d expect, instead he just gets angrier, the “This is going to cost you, lad” response to the Pet Specimen from Uranus being particularly funny.

It’s a great pay off that we didn’t even know we needed

That surprise return is just one of three (well, more if you count his internal organs), having disappeared over the last several months. Always seen dangling from Burp’s belt in earlier issues, here Jeremy even gives us an answer to where he’s been. In what must be one of Burp’s many inventions the specimen can now go anywhere he pleases, giving us a reason as to why he hasn’t been seen dangling. But it’s the other two characters I loved seeing again the most.

Alvin popping up again was a hoot, so certain was I that we’d seen the last of him (I’ve been wrong on that before, right regular readers?) but then to see the coffin, after I said how funny it would be to see these two even just hanging out in the background of future strips, is just hilarious! The coffin even has a name now. I know I’ve said this already but this really is one of my very favourite Burp strips, but only because it works so well after reading all of the previous instalments. It’s a great pay off that we didn’t even know we needed.

**The Slugs** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Lezz*
**Billy the Pig** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

Cherry-picking some other highlights from the issue I’m not sure how I feel about the word “crap” in The Slugs. While according to Uncle Pigg last week the audience for OiNK was changing from what was originally intended and it was always meant to be the punk rock of children’s comics, it was still a children’s comic. Can you imagine if Whizzer and Chips used this word? It’d have been all over the tabloids. So yes, I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Elsewhere there’s a wonderfully dark yet silly moment as Billy the Pig continues his search for his rustled family, and in Tom Thug there’s a surprise return for big brother Ernie who first popped up seven days ago. This time he’s off for good though, when we find out he’s been charged with being AWOL and in his final panel the character’s bravado we’ve come to know for these two issues disappears completely. Speaking with Lew, he’d forgotten all about Ernie. He was never mentioned again, even in all the years Tom was a regular in Buster.

This is a phenomenal feat for someone still at school to be writing so much for a mainstream comic.

Billy Bang, Brian Luck He’s Really Unlucky, a quiz called Are You a Compulsive Liar?, Transmogrifying Tracey, The Adventures of Death and a GBH Madvertisement all have one thing in common in this issue. They’re all written by Charlie Brooker. This is a phenomenal feat for someone still at school to be writing so much for a mainstream comic. We obviously know of his incredible talent and genius comedic writing in later years but one look at this GBH Azid page and you can see even as a teenager he was already there.

This is simply a brilliant page, Charlie’s excellent script expertly brought to life by Eric ‘Wilkie’ Wilkinson and his unique textured style. Obviously the OiNK editors saw something in the young Black Mirror creator to give him his first paying job in the first place, but with how many times I’m seeing his name already (I knew he contributed a lot to the later monthlies) it’s clear they were impressed with him from the offset and were asking him for more. This is becoming a fascinating look into the early career of one of my very favourite television writers.

We’ll stick with Charlie for one more strip I think and the return of The Adventures of Death, one of those favourite not-as-regular-as-you-remember regular characters. Death was in every edition for six issues to begin with but as Charlie’s repertoire expanded the Grim Reaper became one of several of his creations he had to split his time between. Remember folks, he was still at school! It appears he’s now becoming one of OiNK’s main contributors though. Personally, Death is still a favourite character after all theses years.

I found myself lingering on that penultimate panel. That’s genius comic timing in a comic strip. I can’t help but wonder if OiNK had continued on in this guise and lasted longer than it ultimately did, would Charlie have continued as a contributor, and more so would he have continued with a cartooning career? We’ll never know. What we do know is what Charlie did after OiNK’s eventual cancellation. He produced cartoon art for CeX before moving on to writing for PC Zone magazine, including a comic strip.

From here it was a natural progression into TV’s Games Republic, which led on to writing for such shows as Channel Four’s The 11 O’Clock Show and the infamous Brass Eye paedophilia special. At the same time he created his TV review column Screen Burn for The Guardian. These career paths would culminate in Screen Wipe, a BBC series I adored and really miss. A phenomenal career which all began with our piggy pink publication.

Patrick Gallagher‘s reservation coupon rounds things off as usual and it’s been another fantastic read this week. I’m even getting used to the 24-page format. There’s more crammed in now so it’s taken longer to read than the first handful of weeklies. Great stuff. The next OiNK has one of the best covers of the whole run. If you thought what Lew Stringer did with the logo last week was something special just wait ’til you see what he does with it in just six days on Friday 3rd March 2023. (1988 was a leap year, so we’re missing a day.)

iSSUE 51 < > iSSUE 53

OiNK! #50: HALF-CENTURY HiLARiTY

11 February 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

It’s time for another celebratory issue of the world’s greatest, and funniest, comic. OiNK reached its 50th issue on this day 35 years ago, although technically speaking if you count the special editions this is actually the 55th edition, but let’s not quibble. Not only that but it feels more like the OiNK of old again. With the team caught up on the new weekly schedule characters no longer appear on exactly the same pages anymore, there are more wonderful one-offs and everything is put together in recognisably random fashion again like the fortnightlies.

This is signalled by a move away from the simplistic yellow covers and a fantastic full-page photograph of Frank Sidebottom receiving his knighthood from the Queen, in reality a young passerby. As co-editor Patrick Gallagher told the Dazed website, “I had this Queen mask with me and I’m looking for someone to put it on so Frank could get down on his knee for the photo. Only one kid would do it so we had him with the Queen’s face on and Frank being knighted. He paid twenty quid for it but obviously it was worth nothing. Frank got ripped off. Sometimes adventures with Chris became nightmares.”

Ed McHenry first appeared in OiNK #4 and has contributed to 18 issues and the first annual so far, including many a puzzle page. After an eight-issue absence he makes a grand reentry with Ringo Pig and Golden the Wonder Horse. A beautiful daft full-page strip that signals the beginning of a glorious run of work from Ed. In fact, he’ll contribute to every single issue (including all specials) from now on. His Wally of the West was always a favourite. He’ll be popping up soon on the blog.

But Ed isn’t done with this issue yet as he also drew the wonderful poster in the middle pages that marks the 50th issue with a party for all of OiNK’s main characters, but it doesn’t sit in the issue in isolation. Instead it’s sandwiched between two Lew Stringer strips, namely Pete and his Pimple and Tom Thug who cross over for this special occasion (they also did in #34). Pete’s strip is a bit of a two-for-one deal in the story department, firstly trying to take Lovely Lucy to the party and this backfiring before he runs into Tom outside the shindig itself.

The Lucy part of the strip sets up the pimple’s ability to suddenly flare up to full size without warning (in case you’d forgotten) before it’s used at just the right moment as a way to see off the thug that is Tom, launching us (literally in his case) to the full-colour poster by Ed in the middle pages.

Ed also drew the similarly celebratory poster for the comic’s first birthday, although there it was called an ‘anniversary’ party and here a ‘birthday’ party, which seems the wrong way round. Co-editor Mark Rodgers provides the scenario and script for the chaos reigning here. A script for a poster? Unlike the previous poster which was designed as a portrait of the comic’s stars this is more like Rubbish Man’s New Year’s Party from #44, taking a snapshot in time of the party in progress.

As I’ve said before I always love seeing different cartoonists’ takes on characters created by others and this is a smorgasbord of just that. Ed does a wonderful job of representing a wide variety of characters created by his colleagues while giving each that McHenry twist. Nice to see Mr Big Nose make a cameo after he was dropped from the comic (last appearing in #44) but he’s not the only one I’m happy to see. Roger Rental hasn’t been seen since the latest Christmas issue (and will only make one further appearance in a monthly), and upon seeing Rubbish Man here I’m suddenly aware he also hasn’t been seen in the weeklies! In fact, just like Roger he’ll only be back once more, albeit in a massive strip.

It’s sad to realise some of those included no longer have regular character status

Patrick tells me, “Largely it was the contributors who made the decision to rest certain characters. In the case of Rubbish Man, David Haldane was still busy with his other work. For example in #50 he contributed Torture Twins, Zootown and Haldane’s Amazing, Incredible, Bizzare World. Ian Jackson and Jeremy Banx were also very busy on their other work outside of OiNK and since we had a healthy stockpile of other artists’ material building up, we were never short to allow them a break.” At this stage they’d no idea OiNK was going to fold and fully expected the likes of Mr Big Nose to return later.

Even though it’s sad to realise some of those included no longer have regular character status there are a lot of laughs to be had with this poster, such as Burp’s upset tummy (perhaps still upset from the oyster incident), the punch bowl, a selection of awful puns and even though it’s most likely a coincidence I did laugh at the use of the word “frazzle” to describe the little pig on the receiving end of Billy Bang’s temper, given how Frazzles are a bacon flavoured snack! After the poster we’re treated to the end of the crossover tale. This issue is the gift that keeps on giving.

Even though it’s not really a four-page story starring Pete and Tom (which just so happens to co-star a lot of the others) it sure feels like it. It really was something special for a milestone issue and it ends on a perfect note with Tom’s strip. The moment he crashes to the ground from not realising his braces are elastic gave me a chuckle and of course it would have to end on a few more puns, just to round everything off nicely. There are plenty of highlights in this issue, of which this is just one.

All in, this is the issue where the team really settled into the new format. In fact, from next week the ‘Weekly’ would be dropped from the logo on the cover, cementing the fact it was now well-and-truly a weekly comic alongside it stablemates. Alongside the celebrations in #50 Hieronymouos Van Hellsong’s strip ends with Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith using poor Hellsong to escape in suitably silly fashion and the ever-reliable Billy Bang’s strip ends with one of the best gags he had written for him.

**Hieronymous Van Hellsong** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Billy Bang** written by *Griffiths+Kane*, drawn by *Wilkie*

Fleetway Publications may have decided to produce double the amount of OiNKs (in order to produce more sales) and bring it in line with the likes of Buster and Whizzer and Chips but that didn’t mean OiNK wasn’t going to continue parodying its stablemates. Whizzer and Chips in particular was an example they’d use to dress down traditional comics as staid and formulaic. Who can forget the wonderful Tom’s Toe from #12 drawn by none other than John Geering himself?

Next to follow in this OiNK tradition (of not following comics tradition) was Charlie Brooker. Still at school while working on OiNK, Charlie would become more and more prolific throughout this last year of the comic (even writing for Lew in #47), not missing a single issue and contributing more with each successive edition. Both The Adventure of Death and Transmogrifying Tracey would continue to pop up now and again, he’d write a ton of quizzes and text features for the monthlies, has a five-issue run of The Swinelight Zone coming up very soon and on top of all that still had time for little one-off additions such as The Check-Up here.

At the back of this issue comes a little public service message and while the Smokebuster Special isn’t mentioned it neatly ties in to the free edition recently handed out to school kids in the north of England. For all the efforts of those people who wanted to ban OiNK or have it banished to the top shelves of newsagents, OiNK had more examples of using humour to teach good values to its pig pals than its contemporaries, so those aforementioned critics were just doing potential readers a even bigger disservice.

Fifty issues of a comic in the late 80s was not to be sniffed at

I hated smoke. Everyone in my household did it (my parents weren’t aware even my siblings were doing it). I hated the smell. I hated the way it scratched at my throat. I hated the way it made my clothes (and me) smell when I visited friends whose parents didn’t smoke. As I’ve said before I never knew about the Smokebuster Special at the time but additions such as this Madvertisement for John Slayer Specials just reinforced my feelings – while also producing a laugh at the expense of smokers, naturally.

Just like the dental hygiene-related Trendy Wendy strip from #42 a few months ago, these anti-smoking jokes made an impact on the young version of me, staying with me throughout my formative teenage years. Would I have relented to peer pressure if it hadn’t been for OiNK? I doubt it, but this certainly helped keep me on the straight and narrow, if only for the fact I didn’t want to be the butt (no pun intended) of the jokes . I’d remember them at opportune moments throughout my teens as a result.

Fifty issues of a comic in the late 80s was not to be sniffed at, especially for one such as OiNK which was unlike anything that had come before, and which had faced a complaint to The Press Council and been subjected to the whims of conservative shop owners and critics alike. The cover of this issue feels like a dig at those self-proclaimed stalwarts of decency in its use of a royal image honouring the comic. Little did we know there were only another 18 issues to come. It’s heartbreaking to think of that now in hindsight. Best make sure we don’t miss any, right?

Out of all the comics I had a regular order for back then only a few saw this milestone (OiNK – 68 issues, Transformers – 332 issues, The Real Ghostbusters – 193 issues, Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends – still going with 819 issues at the time of writing). That didn’t mean I loved the others any less of course; one of my all-time favourites lasted only 6 regular issues. At the time of OiNK #50’s release it really did feel like it was here forever, that nothing could stop it and with a new found confidence in the weekly I couldn’t wait for the next 50!

In a few issues there’ll be a look at the positive feedback the comic had received in the press to counteract those aforementioned eejits, reinforcing that feeling of the comic’s success and it being here to stay. OiNK would now go from strength to strength as a weekly, finally producing wildly different issues once again. The next one of these will be reviewed next Saturday, 18th February 2023.

iSSUE 49 < > iSSUE 51

OiNK! #48: GREEDY FOR LAUGHS

28 January 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Welcome to the latest weekly edition of OiNK and Davy Francis’ only comics cover of his career. Outlined by Lew Stringer, Davy’s creation Greedy Gorb gets his teeth into the issue and that’s what we’re here for too. Continuing the basic yellow cover theme it’s not the most elaborate in OiNK’s history, although next week’s would be even simpler. But as mentioned before this was a necessary evil to get ahead of the new schedule, doubled from a few issues ago.

Greedy may be a mini-strip but that doesn’t stop him from producing one of my biggest belly laughs for quite a while and you’ll see that towards the end of this review. As I promised back in #45’s write-up I’m going to take this issue to look at the more serialised nature of OiNK Weekly, starting off with the very funny Sherlock Hams in The Hog of the Baskervilles. Written by Lew and drawn by Ron Tiner, it’s packed to the rafters with silly characters and even sillier plot twists.

The red herring gag from #46 is still my favourite and here the outraged cook reveals themselves as Meatyarty, based on Sherlock Holmes’ own nemesis Moriarty. As with Ham Dare, Lew’s script plays up to the clichés people associate with these types of story (hamming it up you could say) including Holmes’ love of the violin. His ability to deduce clues where no one else would see any is also parodied here, his supposed super intelligence revealing what are actually very obvious giveaways.

It concludes next week with part five while Jeremy Banx’s Hieronymous Van Hellsong will continue on until the celebratory #50. In this fourth chapter the atmospheric scene-setting is done and it’s time for the butcher hunter to meet his nemesis, Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith, the Dracula to his Hellsing. The main thrust here is their first battle, with Jimmy spectacularly crashing through a window and swiping at our enigmatic hero with his blade. It’s animatedly realised by Jeremy in some of his best work yet.

There are loads of little details I just love here, such as portraying Jimmy’s residence as a dirty hovel in the first panel showing the OiNK villain doesn’t have a home as such, instead sleeping rough in dirty, abandoned buildings as he makes his way around the country for his pie fillings. The confrontation itself in the middle panels is all exaggerated limb movements and bloodthirsty stares, and is that even saliva spilling out of Jimmy’s mouth as he edges closer to his prey?

Here is a cartoonist whose imagination and sense of humour know no bounds

Thankfully only the tips of Hellsong’s hat and scarf end up on the chopping board and in the final panels that Dracula inspiration is really brought home with the holding up of the cross. But it’s the reveal of what that cross actually is that made me genuinely laugh out loud. This is about as unique a children’s comic strip as you could ever possibly get and shows how original OiNK still is nearly 50 issues in. Co-editor Tony Husband once told me Jeremy was basically given free rein to do as he pleased. Here is a cartoonist whose imagination and sense of humour know no bounds.

Moving on, from early issues where he’d often be the butt of jokes to ones where he’d get the upper hand and prove that beauty is only skin deep, Tony’s Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins had already been on quite the journey when his strip was changed to a serialised comedy drama of sorts, chronicling Horace’s new football career, like an exaggerated version of the already far-fetched newspaper football strips of the day. His talent spotted by Melchester United, his headmaster refused to let him attend practice but the readers convinced him otherwise in #43. A jealous member of his team has now been laying traps for him and last issue a mysterious figure had broken into a military facility and stolen a nuclear missile! Well that escalated quickly.

There was still plenty of time for humour (and sometimes the strip would revert to a one-off for a good gag or two). I love how William’s mum just casually mentions the weapon in passing, the ‘Ground to Horace missile’ and the fact it’s easily flipped up to avert all of the disaster in a scene which could be right out of a Naked Gun-style spoof. Well, I say it’s been averted but this issue’s cliffhanger has different ideas. From memory the football story would continue for quite a while, dipping in and out until the happy ending in the final issue, the long serialisation making the final strip all the better for it.

Frank Sidebottom wasn’t averse to an ongoing story either, although it was rather more ad-hoc. Case in point, back in #46 he brought us 100 Fantastic Show-biz (sic) Moments No.2. But that second list of moments would then be elongated and spread over several issues, so last week we had (and I quote) “Frank Sidebottom’s Part Two ‘Fantastic Showbiz Moments’ Part 2”, but that wasn’t enough for Frank. He decided a previous plot point needed further explanation, so now we have the third part of the two-part story to the second part of his showbiz moments. Phew!

And of course he can’t resist building on this serialisation joke by starting another on the very same page, this time announcing the amount of parts won’t tally properly before he even begins. The diversity of his pages play out brilliantly in these issues; the first was a photo montage of him with his Smokebusters, the second a photo strip, here we’ve a lovely hand-crafted written page and as it goes on it’d revert to a comic strip again. There was never a predictable moment within his pages.

That newspaper article is hilarious too.

Elsewhere the creativity of the readers knew no bounds as evidenced with these winning song lyrics by Lyn McNicol for the comic’s resident punk band The Slugs, fellow OiNK cartoonist Marc Riley made an unscheduled (and I’d assume surprising even to Marc) cameo in Lew Stringer’s Pete and his Pimple, and our already perfectly smelly alien from outer space, Burp, was convinced to undergo some rather extreme plastic surgery!

**The Slugs** by *Tony Husband* and *Lezz*
**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*

The mini-strips are still collected together in one section of the comic. This will change soon and for now it’s actually quite fun to get a handful of quick gags in succession. However one in particular stands out, so much so that the image in the final panel has stayed rent free in my mind all of these years later, resurfacing every time I see the instrument in question.

This isn’t just the best mini-strip, it’s the biggest laugh of the whole issue and quite possibly the very best Greedy Gorb strip of his 33 in total, by the incredibly funny and unique Davy Francis. Now and again Davy’s characters would be written by other OiNK writers but here it’s all him, complete with the backgrounds that magically change from one panel to the next so he can squeeze in as many extra sight gags as possible. A classic.

As you know I’m showing the newsagent reservation coupons from each of these weekly issues because they’re a series of jokes in their own right, and to accompany them this time is a full-page strip written by co-editor Mark Rodgers and drawn in glorious full colour by Eric ‘Wilkie’ Wilkinson. It’s a very unsubtle dig at the likes of W.H. Smith who had been placing OiNK on the top shelves out of the reach of children after a few parents complained (although you can guarantee their children shared the same sense of humour as the comic).

“OiNK is such a rude, outrageous comic, we like to make it difficult for you to get!”
GBH Newsagent (Mark Rodgers)

A few people trying to ruin everyone else’s fun because they personally don’t like something? Some things never change. There’s no denying this move had to have hurt OiNK’s sales and IPC Magazines for their part did try their best to negotiate with the chain. It also couldn’t have helped they were one of the main distributors though. Thankfully they weren’t to be found here in Northern Ireland at the time (the one store that did open in Belfast many years later didn’t last long before going out of business), although DUP leader Ian Paisley did try to get the comic banned at one stage but that fell on deaf ears.

Uncle Pigg had already informed his readers to ask for OiNK if they didn’t see it on the shelves, explaining how some folks who owned the shops thought OiNK was too clever for us kiddies. In fact, this was how he introduced the reservation coupon way back in the first issue I ever bought. It was a cheeky little joke at the expense of such shops while making the point they wouldn’t stop OiNK from being published. In this latest issue that same message came with a bit more bite to it.

It makes a great point; if OiNK was so bad why not just refuse to stock it? The answer of course is that they were hypocrites, although some WHSmith stores did refuse to have The OiNK Book 1988 on the shelves when it was released. I do love how Wilkie’s art looks on the matt paper. His style always had texture to it but now on this paper stock this is heightened, creating a gorgeous finished strip that feels like this is the original artwork, drawn directly on to this exact piece of paper by Eric. I love it.

Fittingly, we finish off this review with the latest newsagent coupon put together by co-editor Patrick Gallagher. While the coupon itself is very polite for addressing the shop, the accompanying joke is anything but. It also contains the best description of a dentist I’ve ever come across in my life.

“Gob mechanic”! Ahem, anyway, that’s us at the end of another review. We’re really getting through them now aren’t we? Enjoy it while you can pig pals, as the comic will change to a different schedule again later in the year. Until then though, we still have another 14 weekly doses of pigs, plops and puns to come, continuing with #49 in just seven days on Saturday 4th February 2023. I’m sure I’ll see you then.

iSSUE 47 < > iSSUE 49