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OiNK! #61: BAHAMAS, BiONiCS, BATS, BALLS, A-WOP-BAM-BOOM

28 April 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

Another Burp cover only two issues after his previous one? Indeed, and who’s complaining? Not I. This one relates to a special two-page story inside but it’s also notable for another reason. This is both Burp’s and cartoonist Jeremy Banx’s final OiNK cover. Okay, so there are only seven issues left but because it goes monthly we’ve still got OiNKs all the way to October and Jeremy makes his final regular strip contribution next week! So let’s enjoy this one while we can.

If it had stayed as that 32-page fortnightly children’s comic I think it could’ve lasted longer

At the bottom you can see OiNK is officially now a teen comic and I don’t know how I feel about that. As a kid I remember the monthlies felt different, more subversive (not that I knew that word back then) and as an adult I feel a little sad about the fact it was no longer being aimed at those kids still inside the original target range in 1988 (as I was). Maybe a bit of that original OiNK uniqueness and innocence had been lost because of this decision. We’ll see as the remaining issues play out.

Of course, the change in the general age of the audience happened naturally. The team aimed their comic at the eight-to-thirteen-year-old children who weren’t satisfied with other humour comics and it just happened to attract a wider range of people. But personally I think it should’ve stayed as it was, it was already being enjoyed by older readers anyway, it didn’t need to make changes to try to appeal to them. If it had stayed as that 32-page fortnightly children’s comic I think it could’ve lasted longer. Let’s enjoy what we have though, beginning with a Pete and his Pimple strip I promised to include.

A couple of issues ago I mentioned a particularly icky plop-based pimple solution proposed by a reader. As a child they were always funny little things to have around the comic, however as an adult I can’t help but focus on what they actually are(!), especially when they’re sweating all over Pete’s pimple. I remember this one the most for the plops’ social club and how all of the little piles of poo on our streets (no one lifted them back then) were just friends hanging out. Strangely, the plops seemed to be one aspect of OiNK the comic’s overactive critics never mentioned.

Anyway, from one memorable strip to a very memorable Madvertisement from GBH and possibly Simon Thorp’s best spoof movie poster, although it’s a close call between this and his Butcher Busters from #40. Back in 1988 only the first ’18’-certificate RoboCop movie had been released in the franchise so the young readers technically couldn’t have seen it (we had) but that didn’t stop Simon from creating RoboChop. Not only is it a brilliant depiction but I’ve never seen so many imaginative piggy puns on one page.

Years back a pig pal showed everyone on the OiNK Comic Facebook group a photo of this framed and up on the wall in their home. Apparently their dad had known it was their favourite and tracked down a copy of the issue in order to surprise them with it framed as a gift. Unfortunately it appears that person has left the social media platform because the image is no longer there. But the story shows how highly regarded Simon’s work for OiNK was, and still is.

OiNK’s multinational corporation also takes over the middle pages with The GBH Desert Island Survival Kit and they’ve gone on location to the Bahamas to shoot it, so Uncle Pigg must be doing very well indeed. In reality writer Graham Exton lived there (still does), sending scripts by fax I would assume and co-editor Mark Rodgers and his partner Helen Jones were out visiting him when they decided Helen would take a bunch of silly photographs. The end result is hilarious.

Watch where you’re going on that GBH Emergency Portable Bulldozer, Mark! That poor dog! Over on the other page you’ll see Ron “Machete” McHetty. A few years back I asked Graham who that was because I didn’t yet know what he looked like and wanted to be sure. He told me they were very lucky to have got the dashingly handsome good looks of Michael Fassbender to pose for that photo. I think it’s safe to say we now know what the “dashingly handsome” Graham Exton looks like.

Imagine having this amount of fun in the Bahamas as your job!

Imagine having this amount of fun as your job. Actually, I’ll reword that. Imagine having this amount of fun in the Bahamas as your job! This translates into a Madvertisement that’s a lot of fun to read, my favourite bits being the non-camouflage gear and the ‘10% discount’ banner which reminds me of many offers we can come across online these days. Always read the small print. This is by far my favourite part of this issue but there are a lot of other highlights backing it up.

Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins’ spoof football drama ends on a romantic cliffhanger and Rotten Rhymes’ take on Goosey Goose Gander has the character of the title meeting a different kind of old man than the original, with a somewhat different ending to boot. There’s only one Sekret Diary of Hadrian Vile strip in the monthlies (probably made for the weeklies but left out due to space) then one more in The OiNK! Book 1989 which would’ve been finished months before publication. As such, this issue’s final instalment of Vidiots – or Hadrian Vile’s Interleckshual guide to Tellyvision was actually the last page of Hadrian’s to be created.

**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Rotten Rhymes** by *Kev F Sutherland*
**Hadrian Vile** drawn by *Ian Jackson*

As you can see he can’t even face looking at us for fear of shedding a tear.

With next week’s OiNK being Jeremy Banx’s last regular issue I will of course be showing you the Burp strip so I hadn’t intended to do so this week. That is, until I read it. It was so good there was no way I could leave it out. As you can gather from the cover Burp travels back to the 1950s à la Marty McFly because in his research into pleasing us humans he’s discovered many in the 80s would like to go back to that time. There’s a strong hint about what’s to come when he names his time travelling device ‘The Fools’-Paradise-O-Tron’.

Cue the usual classic cars on the roads and the classic films showing in the cinemas, the kind of representation we were used to in movies such as Back to the Future. But then things take a turn. Yes, it’s a silly strip in a children’s comic but it actually makes a great point about nostalgia and people’s rose-tinted glasses colouring their memories of “the good old days”. This reads particularly well (and is particularly funny) today when it seems more folks than ever are impetuously clamouring for some mythical time gone by.

You know you’re in for a special treat when you see Burp taking up two pages, so imagine my glee when I opened the second OiNK annual on Christmas Day 1988 and found an eight-page Burp inside. Yes, eight pages! If you’re reading this at the time of writing you’ve got eight months to wait to see it, but then again so do I. I have complete faith it’ll be worth the wait. For now we’ve only the one Jeremy Banx strip to fill that gap and that’ll be in seven days. So we’d better make sure we don’t miss the next issue, hadn’t we?

Indeed. In steps co-editor Patrick Gallagher with his final newsagent reservation coupon. I remember the next issue would finish with a back page promotion for the first monthly in much the same way as #44 did when OiNK went weekly. So The Absent-Minded Pistol Packer is the last of these. Who’d have thought a book of Victorian illustrations and the necessity to have a reservation coupon in your comic could’ve come together to produce such a fun series? Only in OiNK.

I usually end on these coupons but this week I’m doing something different. First though, as we prepare to wrap things up for another seven days (the last time I’ll be able to say that for OiNK) just a quick reminder that you can pop back here on Friday 5th May 2023 for #62, the end of another era in OiNK’s lifetime. As always I haven’t read it yet but I do know we’ll be saying goodbye to Burp and Jeremy and I’m sure they’ll do it in style. There’s also a Horace Watkins cover and of course news of the final evolution of OiNK. I’ll see you then.

Just to finish on a bit of silliness, The Amazing Eric Plinge was a one-off mini-strip by Ed McHenry way back in #9. Eric was a young kid whose neck took over when his bat and ball stopped working. Later in #27 Davy Francis, a good friend of Ed’s, brought us Derek Blinge – The boy with no brain, clearly a play on Ed’s character. (Check out that issue for the full story behind the two men and their strips.) Now the ball is back in Ed’s court (no pun intended). Below is his original strip from #9 then the full colour page from this issue takes it to another level. See you in seven.

iSSUE 60 < > iSSUE 62

OiNK! #59: PASSiON, PENS & POSTERiORS

14 April 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue of OiNK attempts to mark a celebratory milestone too early, while marking a sad one that we weren’t aware of at the time. For the former Uncle Pigg tells us OiNK is two-years-old this week. However, not only is there nothing else in the issue to celebrate this but he’s also got his dates wrong. The first birthday issue (#26) marked the end of the first year after the release of the preview issue, rather than the beginning of the second year and the anniversary of #1 as traditionally celebrated in other comics.

This issue we’re now reading went on sale today 35 years ago, 14th April 1988. #1 wasn’t on sale until 3rd May. Even the preview issue wasn’t bundled inside other IPC Magazines comics until 26th April. #60 will be on sale five days before even that anniversary. I’ve no idea why this happened. Anyway, as I said it also marks a sad milestone, namely the last ten regular issues. Of course because it goes monthly those final ten will stretch all the way to October but still, it’s sad to know we’re inching closer to the end. Better show some comedy to lighten things up then, hadn’t I?

Ed McHenry’s mini-strips hit the giggle factor every time, which makes it all the more surprising that it’s taken so long to give him the chance to have regular characters, although his semi-regular puzzles were always fantastic. For example, check out the double-page spread in the recently released (in respect to this issue and the real time read through) second Holiday Special. Saying all this, Igor and the Doctor only appeared in eight issues (and just the one monthly after this) so here’s a look at what they had to offer.

On the next page is the penultimate chapter to Hieronymous Van Hellsong’s prequel tale in which he finds himself in the pits of hell looking for the lost soul of pop singer Raoul McCurtney, who is putting on a concert for the demons. Given this outlandish set up I loved how the solution to getting inside is something so clichéd and simple. But it’s when they make their escape in the final panels that I can distinctly remember reading this as a child. I’m not going to say a word about it yet, you have to read it for yourselves.

Well now, there we go. After this many issues of OiNK it’s become something of another cliché to say here’s something else you wouldn’t have seen in other humour comics (but I think it just had to be said again). Jeremy Banx in particular liked to push his strips beyond what we’d expect, even for OiNK. They were never unsuitable for children but their humour always felt more grown up when I was a kid. In reality, looking back now it was just that his sense of humour really spoke to the new generation of more savvy, cheeky children of the 1980s.

I can’t remember how this story ends and if it were anyone else I’d struggle to believe they could top this final cliffhanger, but Van Hellsong is in great hands and I for one can’t wait to see the final showdown. At the top of the review I looked forward and mentioned we’re now within the final ten regular editions of the comic, but what’s even worse than that is we’ve only three more with Jeremy in them! We’ll come back to that but for now let’s keep things cheerful with a quick glance at other highlights of the issue.

“Sorry about the nose drips, but the artist has a cold!”
Lew Stringer (Tom Thug)

The aforementioned message from Uncle Pigg is actually drawn by a reader, the one and only time this happened, so kudos to Craig Els of Liverpool. Nigel and Skrat the Two-Headed Rat makes a sudden reappearance, keeping to their regular schedule of popping up every dozen issues or so(!), the age of competition winners was definitely on the increase when you compare who met Frank Sidebottom in this issue to #26 and Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins’ spoof football drama continues with its ridiculously far-fetched kidnapping plot.

**Grunts** compiled by *Patrick Gallagher*
**Nigel and Skrat** by *Noel Ford*
**Frank Sidebottom** by *Chris Sievey*
**Horace Watkins** by *Tony Husband*
**Tom Thug** by *Lew Stringer*

The life of a freelance cartoonist isn’t as glamorous as some may think, especially when it comes to sick leave, or rather the lack of it. So let’s spare a thought for one of OiNK’s own this week. At the beginning of Tom Thug’s strip there appears to be a green blob randomly drawn on the page with a teaser of “What’s this? Find out later” alongside it. As his page comes to an end it’s revealed his cartoonist, Lew Stringer, was feeling rather poorly at the time, something he slips into the credit at the end of his Pete and his Pimple strip too in an equally funny manner, having a little laugh at his own expense.

Isn’t that just the happiest little shit you ever did see?

Last week Pete met Spotless Suzie, who was the target of a misogynistic idiot harassing her into giving him a snog. Through a series of events this idiot ended up the worse for wear thanks to Pete’s pimple and when Suzie thanked Pete by giving him a kiss his zit burst all over her. But there’s a twist. Suzie is on a Y.T.S. course (do your 80s research, kids) about ‘compost analysis’ so pimple pus was a doddle to handle. Thus, Pete now has his first girlfriend, aww.

However, in previous issues Lovely Lucy was the object of Pete’s unrequited affection. Even though she made it abundantly clear she had no interest in our unlikely hero, ridiculing him in front of people, it becomes clear she’s not the type to take being passed over for anyone else either. Add in Suzie’s own nemesis Harrison (the one mentioned above) and you’ve got the makings of a pair of comic villains.

Isn’t that just the happiest little shit you ever did see in the fifth panel? Another of the plops takes on a starring role in a future Pete and his Pimple strip and from memory it’s because of a somewhat icky pimple solution sent in by a reader! I’m sure you can draw your own ghastly conclusions as to what that may be. It’s one of my faves though, so there’s a good chance you’ll see it in a future review.

Jeremy Banx and Lew have both been rather prolific with the OiNK covers during the weekly stage of the comic, with this issue’s from Jeremy even featuring a cameo from one of Lew’s characters. Better than that, it reunited readers with some of Burp’s internal organ characters we’ve come to know and love, even Kid Kidney. This issue’s Burp strip features some of that glorious wonders-of-the-universe storytelling Jeremy likes to include, beginning with some well-meaning educational moments from the smelly one before it all descends into utter chaos as per usual.

We even get another cameo in the final panel! If you’re not a regular blog reader (why not?) you should scoot off and read #32’s review, followed by #46 and you might understand why that teddy bear popping up makes my day every time. As mentioned above we’re approaching the end of Jeremy Banx’s time with OiNK and that’s just heartbreaking. I don’t think I realised he wasn’t part of the make up of the monthlies, he or Ian Jackson!

This isn’t a slight against either of them; I was very young and being bombarded with so much from others in each bumper monthly, and Burp did come back for an epic story in the second annual later in the year, one which I have very personal, very formative memories of. That’s all I’m saying about that one for now though. Just wait and see.

We’re racing towards the back of this edition of OiNK and a lot of the mini-strips converge on the final few pages including Ed McHenry’s always lovable, always funny Wally of the West.

Even when OiNK’s strips aren’t being rude or surreal or satirical, even when they could be deemed more ‘traditional’ they hit the funny bone more than any other comic’s strips did for me. Wally’s are the perfect example of this.

We arrive at the end of another issue, the apparent second birthday one at that, although arguably that could be either of the next two, but still we’ve covered two years of the world’s funniest comic on the blog. OiNK has come a long way in this time (as has the blog), it’s constantly evolved and grown, gone from strength-to-strength and yet it feels like no time at all since this all began. We may be only a handful of issues from the end but they are packed with content. It’s going to be a great summer and autumn, believe me.

So with your coupon filled out and handed in you’ll not miss out on any of the fun over the coming months. Just a few weeklies to go. Ultimately the changes to come would lead to the end of an era, but I really enjoyed them as a kid. Will I enjoy them as much now as an adult?

The next issue’s review will be here from Friday 21st April 2023, see you then.

iSSUE 58 < > iSSUE 60

OiNK! #57: ROLL ON EASTER

31 March 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This issue’s cover is one of my favourites from all of OiNK’s issues for two reasons. It’s a Jeremy Banx cover featuring Jimmy ’The Cleaver’ Smith, the comic’s villainous butcher baddie in a pool of glistening blood on a splattered background. You wouldn’t have got this in other humour comics, that’s for sure. The second reason is the audacity that the issue’s cover, its selling point on the shelves, states clearly it has absolutely nothing to do with the contents inside.

This is actually a bit of a sticking point with me as far as some modern American comics go. They can have lovely elaborate covers, yes, but they don’t always relate to the story inside. If this issue of OiNK was released today I’d swear they were taking a shot at those. Inside, it’s also the Easter issue, with Uncle Pigg chowing down on a mountain of chocolate eggs while he cracks (sorry) puns, but apart from Lew Stringer’s two strips no others shell out (sorry again) on eggy scripts. Tom Thug’s title panel also seems to follow the theme from the cover.

The fact the egg (or rather Tom) appears to be asking for “Ralph” or “Hughie” is a great gag; we know exactly what’s happening to the dim-witted one inside and the panel showing us the results is convincingly disgusting! Having once stupidly gone on an amusement ride after eating ice cream and the result of that I almost feel sorry for the dolt. Almost. The limited colours given to the page really help highlight the main plot device (the egg) and the one splash of green makes for a funny moment in itself.

Did you also spot the ‘School Rules’ on the wall? At the time of the comic’s release I could definitely empathise with the kids at Tom’s school with that, finding it very funny in the process. This and Pete’s strip (a highlight is further below) being Easter themed makes the whole issue feel extra special in 2023 too, what with the Easter holidays happening almost at the same time as in 1988. With this quality no wonder Tom carried on for so many years in Buster comic.

This particular issue contains something of Kev F Sutherland’s that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time

Kev F Sutherland first contributed to an issue of OiNK in #38. Having proven himself with that mini-strip his work has finally become a regular fixture and this particular issue contains something of his that I’ve been looking forward to for a long time in this read through, March of the Killer Breakfasts! As a kid I loved my various cereals and their advertisements on TV promising toys and surprises. I can understand why things have changed (for the better) today, but this next strip takes me back to that time and laughing at all of the references to those adverts, never mind the onslaught of over-the-top puns.

There’s something quite genius right there on page one, when Kev perfectly lays down two future jokes when he names his protagonist. To the reader it’s initially just a funny name tied in with the cereal theme, but later two perfectly timed puns in the same caption tell us why ‘Dr Brek Sugar’ was really given that name. This is one of Kev’s best and one of the funniest strips in OiNK. Out of all of his contributions I think it’s tied for first place with his time travelling professors we’ll meet in a monthly later in the year. It’s comedic genius and it’s inside a children’s comic.

Right from the start OiNK wanted to give a chance to young, new talent in the world of children’s comics and hired accordingly. This commitment rubbed some long-time professionals up the wrong way but the comic stuck to its guns. Now, with Kev centre stage in each issue and the likes of young Charlie Brooker producing so much material, OiNK had evolved a lot since its early days and it makes me wonder what other new talent it could’ve discovered if it had continued for longer than the two-and-a-half years it ran for.

**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Laffie** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*
**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*

There’s the Pete and his Pimple strip I mentioned earlier, when Pete eats too many Easter Eggs and discovers his pimple’s pus takes like delicious milk chocolate. Of course it runs out just as he tries to impress Lovely Lucy. The Wonder Pig (this time called Laffie) is back in the first of a series of weekly adventures with the usual predicament, and then on Mercury a rather familiar looking royal family have summoned Burp to help with the sweltering heat on the first planet next to the sun. This leads nicely on to one of two GBH Madvertisements in this issue.

Are you sick and tired of your job? Don’t you just wish you had the ability to leave it, perhaps by winning the lottery and not needing the money anymore? Well GBH has just the thing for you. Their special offer of two free (not free) books will teach you everything you need to know to do just that. In fact, all you need is a lot of privilege and being born into the right family. Surely this isn’t something you can teach, right? Well that kind of detail never stopped these gangsters from trying to hock their latest scam.

While OiNK’s humour for the most part has not aged, when it spoofs celebrities of the 80s it’s inevitable that kids reading it today (as some blog readers have told me their own kids do) may not appreciate those particular strips as much as us who grew up with them. This particular Madvertisement has aged but for a whole other reason, however let’s not shut down the whole country again and just move on, shall we? I do like Steve Gibson’s very Spitting Image-esque drawings too.

A couple of mini-strips before we round off this week’s review and Ed McHenry’s Wally of the West continues to entertain. This week it’s not Wally himself that’s acting on the silly side, he’s actually the innocent victim of someone else’s ridiculousness. Then Marc Riley’s Doctor Mooney He’s Completely Looney has two scriptwriters this week, Marc himself and Michael Peek. It’s silly, gross-out humour and one which made me chuckle because I’m still a big child.

That’s us at the rear end of another issue. Just time to ensure the young readers reserved their copies at their local newsagent’s with co-editor Patrick Gallagher’s usual weekly nonsense in the Great Moments in History coupon. To paraphrase it, I’m hoping the blog is still to all of your tastes and in case you missed it (somehow) make sure you check out the extra review we had this past week for the OiNK! Holiday Special #2! When you’re all caught up make sure you’re back here next week on Friday 7th April 2023 for #58 and have a Happy Easter (even though the next issue will be out by then).

HOLiDAY SPECiAL 2 < > iSSUE 58