Category Archives: Comic Reviews

ALiENS #4: THEY MOSTLY COME AT NiGHT… MOSTLY

This atmospheric cover by John Bolton promises much for the tale of the Aliens film seen from Newt’s point of view that continues within these pages. What a shame the chapter inside issue four of Dark Horse International’s Aliens comic doesn’t deliver on the promise of this terrifying image, or indeed its previous instalments. In general this is the weakest issue so far but that’s not really the fault of the UK publisher or its editor.

Editor Dick Hansom’s comic, like most UK comics of the era, chopped up the US stories into smaller bite-sized chunks and serialised them across more issues than American readers would’ve had. This meant we got to have no less than four individual stories in this monthly anthology, which is always a good thing. However, upon occasion it did highlight weaker elements of those stories. You’ll see what I mean later in the review. First up though, is chapter four of Hive.

Written by Jerry Prosser, drawn by Kelley Jones, coloured by Les Dorscheid and lettered by Clem Robins, main character Doctor Stanislaw Mayakovsky provides the narrative captions as we see android alien Norbert finally enter the hive of the title. While the doctor’s words actually describe his previous experiments involving ants on Earth, they are no less relevant here and show how his previous research would lead on to this trip to deep space.

In the ‘What Has Gone Before’ description of previous issues we’re told Max the dog wears an inhibitor that makes him imperceptible to the aliens. What? This hasn’t been explained in previous chapters and we’re given no explanation here on how it’s meant to work either. Also, given how the doctor discovered another team’s much easier way of extracting the alien jelly he craves, why is he still going through with his much more dangerous idea?

Yes, he has learned of an almost risk-free way of achieving his goal but let’s go and annoy an alien Queen anyway. And let’s sacrifice the pet dog at the same time, turning off his inhibitor so Norbert can present Max as food to the real aliens. Unless the doctor’s ego is such that he must see his own plan succeed, this makes no sense. What also doesn’t make sense is even considering that the reader might feel any kind of tension about Norbert entering the hive.

This results in me not caring about what happens to any of them

It was already established in the films that the aliens couldn’t care less about androids, only if one posed a threat would they destroy them. So there’s no tension in his entrance and once threatened they terminate him, which is actually rather sad. After this there’s a confusing turn of events when the human observers crash land, apparently hit by lightning although it’s hard to tell what’s happened, leaving them stranded on the surface. Quelle surprise.

Now that we’re a few months in to this initially intriguing story the cracks are beginning to show, the main problem being there isn’t one single likeable human character in the cast. They’ve deliberately been painted as selfish profit driven cretins, the likes of which Ripley would’ve gone up against in the movies. This results in me not caring about what happens to any of them, completely negating any suspense or tension the script and art tries hard to rack up.

The Motion Tracker news pages bring another interesting insight into the early 90s, beginning with the reveal of an Aliens Vs Predator movie. In reality, while videogame crossovers would happen soon after, it wouldn’t be until 2004 that the two franchise behemoths met on the silver screen. (I must look out for that trophy in Predator 2.)

I’m sure I borrowed that Earth Hive novel from the library as a teen and really enjoyed reading it very late at night in bed by lamplight. The news about Ridley Scott’s Alien Special Edition needs a bit of clarification. The Director’s Cut I’ve seen since is, as Ridley himself explained, a recut rather than one which adds in missing scenes. The “controversional” scene mentioned here wasn’t controversial at all. It involved Ripley discovering Dallas metamorphosing into an alien egg but it was removed because it slowed down the tense ending. Later, Aliens would reinvent how the eggs are produced and Ridley didn’t want to contradict James Cameron’s film.

“You think you know what’s going on, but I’m telling you – you don’t have a clue.”

General Mavis, Predator: Cold War

Also, $100 for a laserdisc release? No wonder those things never took off over here! Finally, under the ‘Sly Fox’ section about the upcoming releases of videos in the series, for some reason it’s stated Aliens wasn’t shot in widescreen when it very definitely was. A strange error there. Did the writer assume it wasn’t when it was released on video in 4:3 ratio? All films were released that way into the home market until widescreen transfers really took off in the 90s.

Mark Verheiden’s Predator strip, Cold War (pencilled by Ron Randall, inked by Steve Mitchell, coloured by Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe, lettered by Clem) finally sees Russian Lt. Ligachev reappear but unfortunately not until the final page. Before this we’re treated to more human tension between America and the Soviet Union and, while it all starts off rather well with secretive manipulation by the US, it all boils down to a plot involving the sole survivor of a Predator attack (Ligachev) being sent to the site of another attack while coming up against people who wish to exploit the situation for profit and who don’t care about who is expendable (the Americans).

So basically, it’s the plot of Aliens reworked to fit the Predator series. Surely this isn’t a great fit for a comic based on Aliens? Wouldn’t fans see this for what it is? It might have been a decision out of editor Dick Hansom’s hands depending on what the parent company and the UK branch wanted to print over here. Oh, and it appears Detective Schaefer was in a previous Predator strip and that’s why he’s been brought in for the mission. But my point from previous reviews still stands. It still feels like he’s nothing more than a way to bring in Arnold Schwarzenegger without actually doing so (he’s the brother of Arnie’s character).

In the middle of the comic are four extra, glossy pages which make up a survey for the readers. I can’t see how useful listing favourite artists etc. would be to DHI, it’s not like they had any say over who would be creating the strips in the States, but I do find it intriguing that text stories are mentioned. Something tells me they appear later and I hope they do, it could be like reading those exciting novels again, but don’t ruin the surprise for me if you know. The readers are also given the option of choosing whether the comic should stay as a monthly or change to a fortnightly, or even a weekly! I doubt these answers had much sway though.

The Technical Readout page this month details the Remote Sentry Weapons, perhaps to the chagrin of one of the comic’s contributors, seeing as how they were used exclusively in one of the deleted scenes (the Special Edition was heavily criticised in an earlier issue). Then in the two-page Aliens Vs Predator II strip (written by Randy Stradley, drawn by Chris Warner) we find out one of the Predators is actually a human woman!

This could possibly be following on from the original strip but of course it hasn’t been printed in this volume. Regular blog readers will know that this and the chapter in Alien³ #3 were printed in the wrong order so at least the naming of Shorty is explained at last. Still, I want to find out a lot more and only getting two pages at once makes for a frustrating read, and now it’s only going to be two pages a month!

The final strip is Mike Richardson’s Newt’s Tale, which began as the brilliant idea of retelling the story of Aliens from the perspective of Newt. We’ve had some nice building of character and tension, and then last month the scenes where Newt witnessed the death of her mum and brother were truly horrific. You really felt for the child. It brought home the horrors she had to have seen in order to be in the situation we found her in during the film. Chapter three begins in suitable fashion too, as she discovers she can go places the aliens aren’t aware of simply because she’s so small, and we get this great double-page spread of her trying to survive over the next few days pencilled by Jim Somerville, inked by Brian Garvey, coloured by Gregory Wright and lettered by Pat Brosseau.

These were the moments I was looking forward to the most in the story. After the horrors she’d faced already, how exactly did Newt learn to survive in the complex, surrounded by the terrifying aliens. Unfortunately, these two pages are all we get. You can see at the top it says “Days pass…” and yet that last panel continues on to the next page and the moment Ellen and the Colonial Marines find her. Days? When Burke recruits Ripley they’d already lost contact and it took what I thought were at least weeks, possibly longer, to get there!

The rest of these pages see the interesting set up jettisoned for a typical, bland comics adaptation of the movie. We start to see scenes that don’t involve Newt and eventually she’s completely ignored for scenes of the Marines infiltrating the alien nest. The moment where Newt finally breaks her silence and tells Ellen her name is heavy with emotion and plays brilliantly after the trauma we saw her face last month, but then she just disappears from her own story for several pages.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind prompted the trend of re-thinking a movie after its initial showing and releasing it in a new cut

This is hugely disappointing. That cover promised so much and I hope next issue we’ll see more of Newt’s own story that we don’t already know. The particular section of the tale used for this issue might just be a blip in the overall original comic, unfortunately highlighted by being a chapter in and of itself in the UK comic. I can but hope, because right now I’m feeling like we’ve been sold one thing and are suddenly getting something else entirely. The issue does end on a high note however, with an interesting two-page feature on the new fad of Director’s Cuts, written by Dave Hughes.

I remember my friends and I being particularly excited for certain Director’s Cuts of films back then. Aliens is the obvious one, The Lawnmower Man was a completely different film in its lengthier cut, and some of my peers cheered when news of a Blade Runner special edition was announced. Here, some information on scenes cut from the original Alien film are notable and it goes into depth about Ridley Scott’s cyberpunk thriller. I’m glad the Aliens scene with Burke that’s mentioned was never reinstated because it was clear from his final moment that he was being killed, not taken away for implantation.

It may not have been recut by its director, but my favourite special edition is still that for Alien³ which reinstates a lot of David Fincher’s original vision, cut scenes, effects and whole story and character arcs the studio originally excised. It’s a phenomenal recut and the version which should’ve been released into cinemas at the time. It takes Alien³ (a film I already enjoyed) up to the level of the first two masterpieces and concludes an incredible trilogy for Sigourney Weaver and Ellen Ripley.

To round off the issue it’s nice to see I wasn’t alone in my thoughts about the review for the Aliens Special Edition a couple of issues back, although I do hope they don’t change their heading font, I think it’s perfectly readable and highly unique. With a comics checklist that shows how Dark Horse International was just beginning to grow, the fourth edition of Aliens comes to an end.

These may not have been the most enjoyable chapters of any of the main stories but Predator and Newt’s Tale still have the potential to correct course and, if nothing else, at least I can enjoy the humans in Hive meeting a predictably grisly end soon enough. Including the Alien³ Movie Special mini-series I can’t believe we’re already seven issues deep into this real time read through. The fact there are still so many to go, with many different stories for this anthology to tell yet, I can’t wait for #5 on Tuesday 22nd October 2024.

ALiEN³ iSSUE THREE < > ALiENS iSSUE FiVE

ALiENS MENU

TRANSFORMERS G1 iN REAL TiME (iNSTAGRAM READ THROUGH)

This site may be named after OiNK but my complete collection of Marvel UK’s epic Transformers is my pride and joy. Back in 2017 I wanted to do something with the comic for the original blog but two things stopped me. Firstly, reviewing a weekly comic for seven years was too daunting at the time (I was just starting out) and secondly, the stories had already been covered in depth all over the internet.

I landed upon the idea of a photographic journey through the series instead, as a way for former UK readers to reminisce and relive treasured memories, and to show the physical comics to those in the UK and elsewhere who had read the stories in book form but had never seen the original covers, the back up strips, fact-files, letters pages, special features, competitions and even the contemporary adverts.

The perfect place for such a journey was Instagram. So for seven years I read Transformers in real time, taking a handful of photographs of each issue and posting them up on the original release dates. When it all ended in January 2024 I realised that if I gave blog readers links to the posts, Instagram doesn’t let users navigate between them when accessed from an external link like that. Damn.

No one was going to scroll back over seven years of social media posts just to check them out, and the more time passed the more out of reach that mammoth project would become.

Well, to mark the comic’s 40th anniversary I’ve come up with a solution.

TRANSFORMERS G1

I’ve gone back over all 375 Instagram posts I made during that read through and added two hashtags to each and every one so that you can locate any issue you want, in any order. You can check out your favourites or go right back to the beginning and see the whole lot in order. It’s taken me over a month to do this and they’re now ready for you to check out any time you wish.

When I began the read through the blog didn’t have its own social media accounts so it started on my personal one. I also only owned a handful of issues from the first year of fortnightly comics. However, by Transformers’ 35th anniversary I’d been able to buy all of that first year and finally covered all those issues. Confused? You don’t need to be, just use the hashtags below and you’ll get them all in their proper reading order from issue 1 to issue 332.

The early posts on my own account have a few photos and a write up with some basic details. As the series progressed on to the OiNK Blog’s account however (issue 71 onwards), I was taking more photos and writing more and more information in the captions, including full art credits.

HOW IT WORKS

Every single post contains the hashtag #OiNKTransformers and Instagram will throw them up in random order when you search it. However, I’ve also included an individual identifying hashtag to each and every post, eg. #OiNKTransformers192. Listed below are the groups of hashtags you can use, beginning with the regular issues and then all of the special editions released during the run.

If you’d like to read the entire collection in the correct order, with each of the special editions and personal posts slotted into the correct reading order amongst the regular comics, further below you’ll see the full ‘Reading Order’ to follow.

(Please note all hashtags work with all lower or upper case too, they’re presented here as they are for ease of reading.)

REGULAR iSSUES (332)
#OiNKTransformers1
to #OiNKTransformers332
Issue 192 has two additional posts:
#OiNKTransformers192a

and #OiNKTransformers192b

ANNUALS (7)
#OiNKTransformersAnn1
to #OiNKTransformersAnn7
The fifth annual has an additional post:
#OiNKTransformersAnn5Answers

COLLECTED COMICS (19)
#OiNKTransformersCC1
to #OiNKTransformersCC19
Collection Comics 11 has two additional posts:
#OiNKTransformersCC11a

and #OiNKTransformersCC11b

COMPLETE WORKS HARDBACK BOOKS (2)
#OiNKTransformersCW1
and #OiNKTransformersCW2

TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE (2)
#OiNKTransformersMovie1
and #OiNKTransformersMovie2

FREE GIFTS (2 additional posts)
#OiNKTransformers54gift
and #OiNKTransformers200gift

ACTION FORCE CROSSOVER EVENT (4)
#OiNKTransformersAF1
to #OiNKTransformersAF4

INSECTICONS SPECIAL
#OiNKTransformersInsecticons

TRANSFORMERS UNIVERSE
#OiNKTransformersUni

MARVEL BOX ANIMATION
#OiNKTransformersBoxes

FINAL COVERS
#OiNKTransformersFinalCovers 

READING ORDER

To read the entire collection in the correct order, alongside each of the following issues you should read the accompanying issue/post:

Alongside #OiNKTransformers22
read #OiNKTransformersCC1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers35
read #OiNKTransformersCC2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers41
read #OiNKTransformersAnn1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers54
read #OiNKTransformers54gift

Alongside #OiNKTransformers56
read #OiNKTransformersCC3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers62
read #OiNKTransformersCW1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers66
read #OiNKTransformersCC4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers90
read #OiNKTransformersMovie1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers93
read #OiNKTransformersAnn2

Alongside #OiNKTransformersAnn2
read #OiNKTransformersInsecticons

Alongside #OiNKTransformers94
read #OiNKTransformersMovie2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers108
read #OiNKTransformersCC5

Alongside #OiNKTransformers108
read #OiNKTransformersCW2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers116
read #OiNKTransformersCC6

Alongside #OiNKTransformers126
read #OiNKTransformersAF1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers127
read #OiNKTransformersAF2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers128
read #OiNKTransformersAF3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers129
read #OiNKTransformersAF4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers136
read #OiNKTransformersCC7

Alongside #OiNKTransformers145
read #OiNKTransformersAnn3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers160
read #OiNKTransformersCC8

Alongside #OiNKTransformers169
read #OiNKTransformersCC9

Alongside #OiNKTransformers176
read #OiNKTransformersCC10

Alongside #OiNKTransformers189
read #OiNKTransformersCC11

After #OiNKTransformers192 read:
#OiNKTransformersCC11a/192a (same post),
#OiNKTransformersCC11b
and #OiNKTransformers192b 

Alongside #OiNKTransformers198
read #OiNKTransformersUni

Also alongside #OiNKTransformers198
read #OiNKTransformersAnn4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers200
read #OiNKTransformers200gift

Alongside #OiNKTransformers220
read #OiNKTransformersCC12

Alongside #OiNKTransformers227
read #OiNKTransformersCC13

Alongside #OiNKTransformers241
read #OiNKTransformersCC14

Alongside #OiNKTransformers250
read #OiNKTransformersAnn5

Alongside #OiNKTransformersAnn5
read #OiNKTransformersAnn5Answers

Alongside #OiNKTransformers256
read #OiNKTransformersCC15

Alongside #OiNKTransformers271
read #OiNKTransformersCC16

Alongside #OiNKTransformers279
read #OiNKTransformersCC17

Alongside #OiNKTransformers285
read #OiNKTransformersBoxes

Alongside #OiNKTransformers302
read #OiNKTransformersAnn6

Alongside #OiNKTransformers313
read #OiNKTransformersCC18

Alongside #OiNKTransformers327
read #OiNKTransformersCC19

Alongside #OiNKTransformers331
read #OiNKTransformersAnn7

Alongside #OiNKTransformers332
read #OiNKTransformersFinalCovers

I hope you enjoy reliving (or even discovering for the first time) this incredible Transformers series from Marvel UK. Currently elsewhere on the blog the US Transformers Generation 2 series is enjoying its own real time read through and from this Christmas there’ll be a new yearly series of posts about this original G1 series. There’ll be much more from the Robots in Disguise over the years to come, so keep it tuned to the OiNK Blog.

EXTRA POST

MAiN TRANSFORMERS MENU

ALiEN³ MOViE SPECiAL #3: DOWN THERE… iN THE BASEMENT/ATTiC

On this day back in 1992 Art Suydam‘s cover welcomed us to the final issue of Dark Horse International’s special Alien³ Movie Special mini-series. It’s another 48-pager but unfortunately there are a lot less of the fantastic features that made the first two editions so enjoyable. This is because the movie adaptation comic strip is a bumper final chapter, taking up 33 pages. Even with such an increase in page count it still rushes through and isn’t any better than previous instalments.

Steve Grant’s script (lettered by Clem Robins) continues to be a word-for-word reprint of the movie script, the only time it deviates is when it cuts down key dialogue, even giving some to different characters which makes what happens on the page even more confusing than it already was. I won’t go over all of the reasons why I’m not a fan of this strip again, I’m sure I bored you enough with that last time, but what I do love are penciller Christopher Taylor’s, inker Rick Magyar’s and colourist Matt Webb’s take on the alien itself.

This scene above is part of the moment when Ellen Ripley makes her way into the metaphorical basement of the complex (for some reason referred to here as the “attic” instead) to confront the alien and try to get it to kill her. The xenomorph in this movie was somewhat different to what we’d seen previously as we learned that they change depending on what organism they gestate inside, and I think the art team do a great job of bringing that difference to life on the page.

At some points the xenomorph even seems to be taking some delightful glee in the amount of killing it’s doing. That same amount of delight does not extend to the reader or the human characters, who once again are impossible to differentiate between. Even the settings are confusing, such as this depiction of the lead works below. In my head it doesn’t make sense when thinking about the architecture of the film or what it’ll be used for.

The most thrilling part of the film was always the chase sequence, when the inmates would act as bait to lure the alien down certain corridors before closing off doors, forcing it towards the lead works where they planned to trap it. The use of the alien’s point of view as it sprinted along floors, walls and ceilings at equal speed was incredible to watch the first time and it’s not something that could easily be adapted to a comic strip.

However, while this is one of my favourite sequences from the movie I’d have preferred it if the comic had just taken the essence of the chase and built something new, rewriting the script to tell this important part of the story in a way that made sense on the page. Unfortunately, what we end up with is a load of identical people running around in blind panic.

It’s not even explained well by Dillon and Ripley and in the end what everyone is doing makes no sense at all and it’s pure luck the alien ends up where it should. It’s really, really confusing. I can’t tell what’s going on and that’s coming from someone who has seen the film countless times over the years. In the end we all know how it ends, although there’s another change. Sticking with the theatrical version of seeing the alien Queen bursting from Ripley’s chest as she falls towards the molten lead, there’s an additional neck break thrown in too as Ellen somehow still has the ability to twist the creature and kill it, even though both are about to die anyway.

The art team’s depiction of the alien shows that Christopher, Rick and Matt deserved to have a chance to draw a regular Aliens strip together

I’ve covered a few comics adaptations on the blog by now and only the original Jurassic Park one showed a good deal of promise, but even it dropped the ball with its rushed final chapter. Now, having read the adaptations for it, its sequel and Transformers: The Movie (and remembering others from childhood), this one is sadly the worst yet and has done nothing to win me over to the genre. Comics can be adapted to celluloid but going in the other direction just doesn’t work.

This hasn’t been without its good moments though and the art team’s depiction of the alien shows that Christopher, Rick and Matt deserved to have a chance to draw a regular Aliens strip together. I can only imagine how enjoyable the Aliens Vs Predator II mini-strip could’ve been in their hands. As it stands, it remains a curiosity, written by Randy Stradley with art by Chris Warner.

What’s more curious is how they’ve messed up the order of the chapters, which I noticed upon seeing the ‘To Be Continued’ caption. I wondered if it was skipping Aliens #4, which hadn’t been released yet. I went back and checked Alien³ #2 and it’s caption said the next chapter was to be in Aliens #4, and in it (which I quickly checked) it was to continue back into this issue. So it seems editor Dick Hansom forgot Alien³ was being released every three weeks instead of monthly (or perhaps it was originally intended to be monthly) so this chapter and the one to come next week in Aliens #4 are in the wrong order.

I was wondering why all-of-a-sudden we’ve got named Predators. I thought perhaps they’d been named in the previous story (since this is a sequel) but it might just be because we’ve skipped forward a chapter. I’ll find out next week. In the meantime, it seems it’s shameful to be saved by another Predator in battle and the story is from the perspective of a female Predator. Can you imagine the backlash from horrible, sad little corners of the internet if this was released today?

Thanks to the extended main strip the only behind-the-scenes access we get in this final issue is a three-page feature showing off some of the storyboards used in the pre-production stage of Alien³. Comics artist Martin Asbury worked alongside David Fincher on creating these, which would be shared with all of the creative departments. Martin’s comics work has included Captain Scarlett (Countdown), The Six Million Dollar Man (Look-In) and the tabloid strip, Garth. In films he’s worked on several Bond films since GoldenEye, as well as the likes of Batman Begins and Children of Men. Quite the resumé.

Stan Nicholls‘ feature is more of a general introduction to the art of storyboards and their use in moviemaking, rather than going into any depth on Alien³’s particular sketches. You can see some examples though, of the climax and that aforementioned chase sequence, showing a much better depiction of the scenes in question than the finished comic strip.

To finish off with there was also a competition to win some Alien³ merch and this October comics checklist for Dark Horse International.

The Terminator was quite expensive for a fortnightly comic in 1992, however it seems to be as chock-full of strips and features (and a free cardboard cutout figure, no less) as Aliens. Not sure why it’s fortnightly, but seeing as how this is the first time it’s appeared in these checklists and is already at #14 I’m guessing it’s another comic Dark Horse took over publication of (since the American strips were theirs in the first place). A quick internet search and it turns out it was originally published by Trident too, although The Terminator wasn’t given a fresh new volume to enjoy like Aliens was, for some reason.

It could possibly be another one for the blog at some point in the future, who knows. But for now this issue ends with a double advert on the back page for the brand new Star Wars (which I spoke about in the review for Aliens #3) and #13 of The Terminator. The caption makes the latter sound like a brand new comic despite the issue number.

With that we come to the very end of this three issue run of the Alien³ Movie Special. I was able to pick them all up on eBay for a few quid in total and for that money I’d recommend them for fans of the movie. Not for the adaptation necessarily, rather for the contemporary features and incredible access the comic had to information on the making of the film. For those pages it’s worth the price of admission.

From now on though it’s pure Aliens action every month with the ongoing regular comic, the next issue of which (#4) will be reviewed right here on the OiNK Blog on Tuesday 24th September 2024. I’m sure future issues of it will continue to cover Alien³ in its features now and again so watch out for them as we go along. This is Philip Boyce, writer of the OiNK Blog, signing off.

ALiEN³ iSSUE 2 < > ALiENS iSSUE 4

ALiENS MENU

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #3: SiGNED, SEALED, DELiVERED

Before you ask, no I did not get this third edition of The Sleeze Brothers signed by co-creator and artist Andy Lanning. Clearly someone did back in 1990 but the only reason I got my hands on it was through a lucky find on eBay. So lucky in fact that the owner clearly didn’t know the cover had been signed, there was no mention of it in the description and I was able to get it for a pound or two. Bargain, and a unique addition to the collection.

Inside, you could say it was a brave or a risky decision in only a six-issue mini-series to have a story which hardly features our two lead characters at all. Personally, I don’t think it was brave or risky, it was done for one reason and one reason only: because it’s bloody funny. Over the first 17 pages of comic strip El’ Ape and Deadbeat only appear in a small panel at the bottom of four pages! But it works.

A vast array of brilliantly-named characters take the reigns of the story instead, from President Sinartra (son of an embryo farmer who has caterpillar tracks for legs and feet after an accident) and his mistress Marilyn Blondclone, to Man Hugh of the Human Liberation Front (he prefers his name to be reversed, to Hugh Man) and the local mafia head The Cosmos Father and his faithful fixer Caneloni. Then there’s the six-eyed Hairdryer, leader of the Galactic Investigation Bureau and his secret service agents Clint 116, Eastwood 244, Bronson 245, Nimoy 94 and De Niro 124.

The imagination on display here from writer John Carnell and of course penciller Andy is amazing. Stephen Baskerville’s recognisable inks and Steve White’s gorgeous, outlandish colours round off the art in superb fashion as they always do, however this issue’s story, Big Leap, contains more imagery and more written/drawn gags than ever before. Combined with Helen Stone’s letters and all edited by Dan Abnett, Richard Starkings having resigned, although he had commissioned the whole six-issue series. Credited as ‘originating editor’ here by Dan, according to Richard (thanks for leaving the comment!) he left very little to do. This truly showcases everyone’s talents and what Marvel UK was capable of.

Throughout, the Sleezes are sitting in their office waiting for the phone to ring on a quiet day in The Big Apple. Meanwhile, the H.L.F. have sent an alien (The Bugger) capable of rendering itself invisible into The White Wash (future version of The White House) with a little insect capable of recording video in order to catch Sinarta and Blondclone together in a tryst (hence the alien’s funny name). Their plan is to hold him to ransom for their demands.

Things of course do not go to plan and after the recording has been taken the actual bug itself (unaware it’s being used in this way, the recording capabilities are part of its natural evolution) is seen crawling away from his owner, who then ends up falling from the high perch he’d crept to outside the White Wash. Now, when I say it’s a high perch, I’m not kidding.

We’re told at the start of the story this is taking place at 09:00 and over the next few pages we see all the major players out after The Bugger and time creeps on in narrative captions to 09:20, 09:33, and 09:40. We assume The Bugger has met their grizzly end and these characters are rushing out to find the splatted corpse to retrieve the video. But nope, 46 minutes later we see a workman on the side of a building somewhere get a surprise.

This is a running gag throughout most of the story and it genuinely had me in stitches every time. In previous issues we’ve seen how this futuristic city was very much a spoof of Mega-City One from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd strips, and here the sheer size of the megastructures in that comic are taken to extremes. To say the least. So why is everyone clamouring to find the landing spot of this unfortunate clandestine individual?

Well, the H.L.F. want to get the footage they’ve paid for, especially since they’ve already given their (ridiculous) demands to Hairdryer at the G.I.B. The G.I.B. themselves want to protect the country’s leader. The cat-like Greebas, who have sent a ninja to retrieve the tape, have been secretly recording Cosmos Father and as a result now know about it, and the mafia leader himself intends to profit from bribery too. I’m guessing about the Greebas’ intentions because their alien language is never translated apart from the occasional funny word.

This is the moment the Greebas see, when we get an explanation from Caneloni about the bug’s natural recording abilities and why on Earth (or whatever planet they’re from) they have this ability. It’s just more evidence of John’s insane sense of imagination and fun, and we even get to see the end result of the “playback signals”, complete with a minute bucket of popcorn. Brilliant.

There are so many characters and interweaving plots the whole issue is completely chaotic in the best possible way. Despite it jumping from scene to scene and from one group to another incredibly quickly throughout, it’s always very easy to follow and you just go along for the ride, genuinely laughing aloud with every single turn of the page. There are some more subtle adult gags, a career snitch working for all sides who is nothing but professional and the inability of the deadly ninja to be taken seriously.

Some great examples there of the range of comedy in this issue. Soon (at 09:59 as a matter of fact) all of our main protagonists are gathered around the same building awaiting the arrival of The Bugger and their bug. Hugh Man, still living with his mum, is worried she won’t be happy at his failure despite being a sweet old lady, Caneloni fears for his life and in a hilarious nod to the actor, agent De Niro 124 has to convince Hairdryer who he’s talking to.

It’s only after this page that our comic’s namesakes finally take a leading role. Looking out of their window, El’ Ape thinks all of the people looking up at them means their adverts are finally paying off. That is, until their roof crashes in and a strange alien creature, dead from the impact, takes out El’ Ape’s brand new desk. Furious, his temper doesn’t improve when he takes a drink from their water fountain and discovers some form of insect has fallen inside.

Spitting it out and squashing it with his foot he has no idea of the significance of his actions. Not even when their door (and half their wall) is kicked in and the combined forces of the Cosmos Father’s Caneloni, the H.L.F., the G.I.B. and the Greeba all enter, weaponry at the ready. One look at the scene in front of them though and the whole string of plots come to a sudden, funny end.

I particularly like the third panel on this page with De Niro 124 saying with all sincerity that the destruction of the evidence of what the president was actually doing, and thus keeping his ability to lie about his scandalous relationship, will preserve truth and justice! Hugh Man heads home for tea, Caneloni’s time now seems to be short and the ninja Greeba utters one of the few English words they know.

More annoyed at the state of their office in the space of a few minutes than the fact they’ve a dead body and a bunch of crazies on their doorstep, El’ Ape continues to grumble until they check the news and see a reward for The Bugger. In the final panels, El’ Ape’s attitude predictably reverses and he congratulates himself and his brother for all their hard work in finding him!

I definitely would’ve been compelled to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue

Only appearing on four full pages and a few panels elsewhere hasn’t blunted the attraction of these two characters. They don’t even need to be the leads in their own comic to be able to steal the story for themselves and in doing so deservedly reclaim their lead status. These two are classic comics characters through-and-through and only three issues in they feel so well established that John and Andy can get away with a Sleeze-lite episode. There aren’t many characters that could get away with that so soon.

The issue ends with a floating Dalek staring down at the reader, weapon pointed and at the ready in an advert that really needed the magazine’s logo at the top. As much as I love the Daleks, this wouldn’t exactly have compelled me to fork out for the latest issue. What I definitely would’ve been compelled to do would be to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue. Luckily I already have and it’ll be up for review on Monday 30th September 2024.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

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ALiEN³ MOViE SPECiAL #2: THE BiTCH iS BACK

I know I write a comics blog but I’ve been looking forward more to the written features in this second issue of Dark Horse International’s three-issue Alien³ mini-series, way more than the comic strip. This is not only because the previous edition’s features were so good, it’s also because there’s a big, meaty interview with none other than Ellen Ripley herself, Sigourney Weaver!

Dave Hughes’ piece is definitely the highlight of the issue, although other pages do come a close second. If DHI had instead released a one-off special magazine with all of these articles and left the strip out it would’ve been the most amazing tie-in for this movie. But at £1.50 per issue it’s not like this was overly expensive anyway, even back in 1992. So let’s see what our star has to say about the film, her career and even her family over the opening five pages.

My first encounter with Sigourney on film was the original Ghostbusters but to me the first three (we’ll forget about the fourth) Alien films are what I know her for best (although her cameo during the end credits of Ghostbusters: Answer the Call is hilarious). After the article in Aliens #2 which negatively reviewed the Aliens Special Edition it’s nice to read Sigourney’s viewpoint. It really did reinstate Ripley’s “raison d’être” as she says, something that had angered her when it was cut because she’d been playing the character a certain way, only to have the whole reason for her performance edited out.

I also totally agree with her description of Ghostbusters II; despite loving it as a kid my adult eyes see it for what it was now. The original idea for back-to-back third and fourth Alien films sounds interesting and I adore her initial reaction to meeting director David Fincher. I’m not at all surprised at the pathetic criticisms over the cast being bald (I mean, you’d expect stuff like that on certain social media sites these days) and while reading this I was actually saddened they brought her back for Alien: Resurrection.

“I came to realise that the only way she [Ripley] could finally get any peace was if I, the actor, was willing to go deep into the material and allow her a release.”

Sigourney Weaver

Sigourney was adamant at this stage that Alien³ was her final film in the series but that they should definitely continue without her. What she says about giving the character this interesting situation, this amount of courage, and how she saw her as a friend and going deep into the material to give the character a release feels so genuine. I remember the first time I heard the recording from the end of Alien played out at the end of Alien³ and it was so poignant. She also doesn’t spoil the ending!

It’s touching to read how filming Aliens with Carrie Henn resulted in Sigourney wanting to start her own family and how this led to the autopsy scene in Alien³ being so excruciating for her to film (although she says it should be an excruciating watch), and I wonder if her wish to make a film about obsession led to Copycat, the fantastic 1995 thriller. It’s a fascinating read so please do take your time to enjoy it all.

After this great start I turned the page and realised I was about to endure 24 pages of the comic strip adaptation again. Maybe that’s unfair, perhaps it would see an improvement over last issue’s chapter. There are definitely some nicely realised scenes with the alien here, Christopher Taylor (pencils) and Rick Magyar (inks) seem to revel in bringing this very different version of the xenomorph to the page, but they still manage to make all of the human characters look identical.

While the film has a muted palette, just like the film the moments of horror bring an outburst of colour from Matt Webb that make these really stand out but the script by Steve Grant (written up by Clem Robins on letters) still reads like a copy-and-paste job from the film script. Overall, it feels like one of those rushed “Previously On…” bits you’d get at the start of a TV show which rushes through things as quickly as possible before getting to the main event. It’s just that this is actually the main event.

It does contain one of the main missing plots of the original theatrical release when they capture the alien only for Golic to become obsessed with seeing it released. This whole character arc for Paul McGann was excised, despite him being credited as the second lead actor, but any excitement felt at its reinstatement in comic form is soon dispersed because it’s all done within a few pages and really adds nothing to this version of the story, unlike the Special Edition of the movie. Such a shame.

Some of the funny moments are also conspicuous by their absence since they rely on swearing which the comic has to limit. It also really makes you appreciate the performances (both powerful and subtle) of all of the fantastic cast assembled for Alien³ and makes me want to watch it again to see how this story was meant to be experienced. In that regard I guess it does the job for a comic adaptation, promoting a film which was in the cinema at the time.

After I praised editor Dick Hansom for keeping the poster separate from the pages of the comic last month, he’s now unfortunately gone and done that pet peeve of mine and called it a “free” poster on the cover while printing it on the middle pages, with the comic strip on its rear. At least it’s still printed on lovely high-quality gloss paper so it really pops next to the matt paper stock. Those pages of the strip also look better now too, so it’s a shame they’d have to be removed to use the poster.

Alien³ Bug Hunting takes a look at some of the merchandise available for the movie, confusingly listed with letters instead of numbers, momentarily making me turn the page to look for the remaining 19 lettered entries. It’s a shame the soundtrack isn’t available on Apple Music because Elliot Goldenthal’s music really was incredible, and I like the funny comment here about what wasn’t included. Fans of the film will know exactly what this is in reference to.

Next to that entry is news of the UK’s version of the VHS pack containing Alien and the Special Edition of Aliens, both in widescreen which was a big deal at the time when we all had 4:3 TVs and were so used to only seeing half the picture of our films. With postcards of original art by Simon Bisley also included this would’ve been on the top of my wish list at the time… if I’d known about it.

After another two pages of that Aliens Vs Predator II strip (I showed you a chapter of it in the review for Aliens #3) You’ve Been Bugged contains no less than 16 quotes from various people involved with Alien³ (and one reviewer) and it’s a quick grab bag of opinions about the film, a smorgasbord of information for fans to lap up. Actor Brian Glover, who played prison warden Harold Andrews, is spot on and perfectly sums up what made the first three movies stand out so much to me (and to my mum when she and I both watch Aliens for the first time together, something she really enjoyed because of what Glover says here ).

By contrast the xenomorph’s original designer, H.R. Giger doesn’t seem to understand this very salient point, which seems somewhat short-sighted when you read the next quote from Tom Woodruff Jnr, who explains just how much Giger’s work inspired not only the alien but the design of the third film. There’s more contradiction between writer William Gibson and writer/producer David Giler in the next two quotes too.

Unfortunately the superb Michael Biehn’s (Hicks in Aliens) quote makes him come across as rather bitter that he’s not in Alien³ but of course we’ve only got this very small quote to go on, without the larger context of the conversation he had with whoever was interviewing him, so we’ll not dwell. David Giler returns with the final quote to ruin the ending again (even before the strip got to the end) and Screen International film reviewer Patricia Dobson seems to have wanted no more than a rehash of the second film instead of something original, which ironically I bet reviewers would’ve heavily criticised.

This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself

The issue rounds off its nicely varied features with a two-page Technical Readout which is always a great read in the regular monthly title. You may take a glimpse at this double-page spread and think, “Really, Phil? You expect us to read an article about an escape pod? About what is basically a space lifeboat?” Well yes, I do. When I saw this I immediately assumed I wouldn’t be including it here, because how interesting could it be? When I started reading I realised my assumption had been wrong and Lee Brimmicombe-Wood completely surprised me.

Yep, it’s actually an interesting read, isn’t it? That’s testament not only to the detail to be found within every aspect of the Alien universe but also to Lee’s writing, that he can create two pages about a space lifeboat and make it really interesting. This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself.

So there we go, great features and a strip with some decent alien artwork that has me wishing Christopher and Rick had created a cover or an original poster of their version of the xenomorph. These make up for the disappointing adaptation itself by some margin, and I’m looking forward to the third and final issue in just three weeks. Watch out for the review on the OiNK Blog on Monday 16th September 2024.

ALiENS iSSUE 3 < > ALiEN³ iSSUE 3

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