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OiNK! HOLiDAY SPECiAL 1989: HAMMING IT UP

25 March 2024 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

Ham Dare, Pig of the Future makes the cover of OiNK for the first time and it’s only taken for the comic’s cancellation for it to happen! I’d always assumed he’d made the cover each time he returned to the pages of OiNK since his stories were such big events, so it was a surprise to find out this was the only time. The OiNK Holiday Special 1989 is the third spring/summer edition and was promised to us way back in October the previous year when Uncle Pigg made that fateful announcement in the final issue.

It’s been a long time coming but it’s finally here (in fact work began on it so far in advance of its publication, as per usual for special and annuals, we’re treated to the lovely original logo), although it’s a bit of a strange one and feels much more like the next monthly issue than a holiday special. Not only did the monthlies have the same amount of pages as the specials, this one is clearly made up of content that went unused after the comic was cancelled rather than brand new material. So there are no themed summer holiday stories and one Rotten Rhyme even mentions Christmas approaching. As an adult some other things stand out by their very absence.

“Slap my snout and call me Porky – there’s something dashed odd going on around here…”
Ham Dare (Lew Stringer)

With Tom Thug and Pete and his Pimple having made the leap over to Buster they’re nowhere to be seen here, although thankfully their creator Lew Stringer is still on hand to write the wonderful Ham Dare story. Although, OiNK favourites not contributiung this time out include Ian Jackson, Jeremy Banx and David Leach among others, so there’s no Burp, Hadrian Vile or Psycho Gran. But let’s not dwell, let’s concentrate on what is here and start off with that headline act.

Dynasty of the Dinosaurs was originally written by Lew and drawn by the incredibly talented J.T. Dogg for OiNK way back when it was a weekly, believe it or not. The monthlies may have been twice the size but there were three less issues in an average month so there must have been a lot of leftover material from the weekly comic. As such, Ham Dare is presented in its original five individual chapters, each with their own very unique cliffhanger.

The story follows on from the one in The OiNK! Book 1988 over a year ago and sees our hero and his (and I quote) “chubby sidekick” Pigby go through some sort of space disruption and apparently land on another planet, a planet inhabited by English-speaking dinosaurs in tight flight suits. It’s already way out there and has all those knowing nods this wonderful Dan Dare spoof revels in, but then we get to that final panel above and the plot of this serial reveals itself.

Ham sums up the mystery in one handy speech bubble, complete with a typical Pigby response and then hilariously gets away with one of his trademark silly ideas. Although, this time it actually makes some kind of sense. Or maybe I’ve just been reading OiNK for too long. The main dino dude is called Bad Rep and he explains that Earth is known throughout the universe as the most evil planet in existence.

Then this very funny spoof suddenly poses an ethical question

Of course the Meekon has to be behind everything and as he hovers in his frying pan he does what all good baddies (if that’s not a contradiction in terms) do in classic action strips and explains the whole plot to our heroes. I remember being absorbed by all of this as an 11-year-old, having learned about the extinction of the dinosaurs at school and seeing it all turned on its head in typical OiNK fashion. As an adult it’s just as entertaining.

In the penultimate chapter Pigby’s umbrella makes for a quick escape as well as a couple of puns and we get to see how Earthlings are seen across the galaxy. But it’s not just the T-rex causing problems, Ham and Rigby come up against Triceratops and others, who Ham thinks aren’t a threat because they were vegetarian dinosaurs… before he gets a clobberin’. Then this very funny spoof suddenly poses an ethical question.

This reminds me of the Fourth Doctor posing a similar one when he was given the chance to wipe out the Daleks before they were even created. It leads nicely on to the final double-page spread and a moment that struck me as a kid and which, as with the best moments of OiNK, has stayed with me in my head ever since. These are usually comedic moments but in this case it’s something more profound.

Beginning with a nice reference to Dan Dare’s creator and original artist in the title caption, we get more silliness and an overly-easy resolution by Ham as always (who remains cool as a cucumber throughout) before we see something he doesn’t; we see the results of him putting everything back the way it was. It’s this moment involving a dinosaur mother and her child that provided a surprisingly tender moment and pulled on the heartstrings of readers. Knowing it was coming this time around doesn’t make it any less so either.

In an interview with Dan Dare fan magazine Spaceship Away, Lew said about this scene, “Having mainly written and drawn basic slapstick comedy before I welcomed the opportunity to write something with a bit more depth. People have said to me they found the dinosaur extinction scene to be quite harrowing when they were kids. I remember the emotions I felt writing that part so I’m glad it came across in the story. Apologies for causing any kids distress when they read it though!”

I asked Lew myself about this moment and he explained it was actually very OiNK-like. “One of the qualities of OiNK was that it allowed us to do something like that at times,” he says. “I think it’s more effective for a humour comic to include an unexpected emotional moment (as Tony did sometimes with his Horace strip). We knew the readers were intelligent enough to appreciate it.” We certainly did, Lew. An example of Tony doing just that is coming up too.

“Wondering what your favourite OiNK chums have been doing since OiNK stopped appearing last November?”
Uncle Pigg

In the middle of the issue is a seven-page piece I assumed would’ve been created by co-editor Patrick Gallagher but he assures me it wasn’t. Unfortunately, he doesn’t recall who it was. Whoever it was takes the opportunity to bring us up-to-date on some of our favourite characters’ lives since OiNK was cancelled. Alongside the examples below the Torture Twins have also been employed in schools as a replacement for the cane, Mary Lighthouse is happy editing all of our kids’ TV shows until they’re unrecognisable and Cowpat County has been concreted over and turned into the ‘Patworld’ theme park!

As a child I loved seeing some old faves all together again but now it’s clear these are recycled panels from previous strips, even the picture of Uncle Pigg is from a newsagent reservation coupon. A strip by Patrick follows this in which our porcine editor makes an appeal to his readers for financial aid, telling us of all the woes that’s befallen him and his staff since OiNK ended, most horrifying of all being those that now had to work for Buster comic!

In the end it’s all a con and as the readers throw their money to help Uncle Pigg he summons his private helicopter to whisk him back off to those tropical islands he told us about when he signed off in #68. I have to say that while it’s funny (and as a kid I hoped the bit about having “an appeal every year” meant there’d be yearly specials forever) for young me it seemed out of character. While he loved his money Uncle Pigg always put his readers first and here he was grifting them instead. Nowadays though, it’s just silly fun and I suppose it’s in keeping with the likes of GBH. Speaking of which…

They may not have been a one-hit wonder but Bros did seem to be here one second and then gone the next. I remember some friends being obsessed and I even bought the (terrible) Marvel UK special! Here, GBH took advantage of the teen crazes of the time and then the comic tested fans to see if they were as obsessed as they’d made themselves out to be (with a brill Wilkie mini-strip underneath). I love the ‘Gros’ logo spoof of the real one and I wonder if, had OiNK continued, would the band have been a regular target. Looks that way.

Rick Astley is still going strong though, which I was pleasantly surprised to find out a couple of years back when he popped up on Jools Holland’s Hootenanny. Can’t keep a good 80s icon down.

The next page is by an artist who makes his sole contribution in this issue and that’s a shame because if this is anything to go by I’d loved to have seen more from him. José Luis Prats Cruz is a cartoonist from Southern Spain and has continued to work in the industry ever since, although his work has eluded me until now. Signing as’Ozeluí‘, if you search online you’ll find most of his cartoons have no speech just like this instant OiNK classic. You can check out his most recent work on his Instagram account. What a shame he never got to create anything else for us pig pals.

In the final issue a strip called The Pigpen of Fear presents The Spine-Tingling Tale of The House at No.13 Veryscary Avenue was billed as the first in a new series by Davey Jones. It didn’t feel odd to have it billed as such, even when no more would be coming, because OiNK was always doing things like that. Well, as it turns out it was intended to be a series after all. Not only that, but the second strip is one of my very favourite OiNK strips of all time.

The Pop-Up Toaster of Doom sees Jim and Peggy Watkins meet their comeuppance when they cross the wrong shop keeper. Complete with the scary pig character as the narrator, it’s a perfect spoof of TV shows such as Tales From the Crypt. Right from the off it pokes fun at the conventions of such shows, like the name of the shopkeeper being so obvious, and of course since this is by Davey there are a ton of background jokes to spot too.

The main gag here is that there’s nothing sinister or evil happening at all but it’s still dressed up as a horror story. Everything is completely ordinary. Even the shop itself is a red herring and in the end the horrible outcome for the couple is that they’ll just take the toaster back to the shop. It’s ingenious ludicrousness by Davey as per usual and one that had me roaring as a kid. It’s one of those occasions when it makes me laugh even more so as an adult too.

It’s the funniest strip in the issue and one of the funniest OiNK produced. Unfortunately, just like the monthlies there are reprints here too, five pages in total. In fact, the final three pages of the comic are ones we’ve seen before, which ends things on a bit of a downer for regular readers. But just before those is a new four-page Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins strip which finally concludes his long-running story with the happy ending he always deserved. It’s his and Mandy‘s wedding day!

Horace may have evolved completely from those early joke strips to an ongoing serial about the difficulties he faced thanks to his looks, but co-editor Tony Husband never forgot it was meant to be daft too. Horace’s ongoing football soap opera was wonderfully random and he faced everything from a stalker to a radioactive monster (in fact, they were both the same person). However, his strips taught us much along the way about never judging others based on their looks and that we shouldn’t let others who judge us unfairly hold us back. Yes, OiNK was a daft comic but Horace’s strip sat comfortably alongside the non-smoking, anti-bullying and anti-bigotry messages to teach its young readers the right lessons in life, without us ever being aware that’s what they were doing.

Three months was a long time to wait for new OiNK material, however the next issue wouldn’t be released for another six! The Holiday Special 1989 may have been an additional monthly issue of OiNK rather than a summery feast, but it was no less fun to take another bite of that pork pie. I never saw any adverts for the OiNK Winter Special because I wasn’t collecting any of the comics it would’ve appeared in so it was a wonderful surprise when it popped up in November 1989. I can’t wait to read it for the first time since! That next crackling issue will be here on Saturday 2nd November 2024.

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UNCLE PiGG’S CRACKLiNG TALES: VOLUMES OF FUN

2 July 2023 Phil Boyce 2 Comments

In the issue of OiNK on sale now (at the time of writing) back in 1988 a special competition was published in which pig pals could win a set of two new books called From the Pages of OiNK!: Uncle Pigg’s Crackling Tales, new entries in publisher Knockabout’s Jester range. These were novel-sized collections of strips from the first couple of dozen issues of our favourite comic. The competition in #64 also acted as the only advert they’d ever receive. They passed me by as a kid and I only found out about them again a handful of years ago.

I’ve read online from certain quarters that apparently they were of very low quality, that all the reprints were very badly reproduced and that they felt like cheap cash-ins, but nothing could be farther from the truth! So today, at the point in OiNK’s real time read through when they were first announced to the readers I’ve decided to take a closer look at both books, while showing you just how good they actually are.

Given the rough matt quality of paper used for novels these feel like OiNK has been given the Big Comic Book treatment. Novel-sized and with 100 pages each, volume one contains a whopping 53 strips and the second has even more, with 63 classic funnies. They both come with new introductions, the first from Uncle Pigg and both books finish with a little promotion to buy OiNK every week using the design from the OiNK 45 record (the comic was still weekly when these were put together but monthly by the time they were released).

Uncle Pigg’s introduction is full of his usual boasts and I like what the initials after his name really stand for. Rhyming off the achievements of the comic up to this stage makes it all the more saddening to know that at the time of their release we were only a handful of issues away from the end! Also, while he tells the reader to watch out for her, unfortunately Mary Lighthouse (and Uncle Pigg himself) is nowhere to be seen in strip form.

But it’s the person who wrote the introduction to the second book that’s a real surprise. It’s none other than Alan Moore himself (Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Batman: The Killing Joke). Yes, that Alan Moore has written his own personal introduction for this OiNK collection. While it’s great to find out such a legendary comics writer was a fan, initially I thought it was a shame he seemed to get some facts wrong and didn’t seem to have gotten the point about a character. Thankfully Lew Stringer has clarified the latter.

It did read like Alan had missed the point about Tom Thug somewhat in his comparison to Dennis the Menace, which would be completely wrong; Tom was just a bully and always the loser and butt of the jokes. “Alan Moore’s comment about Tom Thug is tonue in cheek of course,” Lew has says in his comment below this post. “He certainly gets what Tom’s about as he compares him to a fascist movement.”

Mad Magazine’s satire and the wish to make something relevant to kids of the 80s inspired OiNK

While some did liken OiNK to Viz after it was released, its three creators certainly did not take their lead from Viz, a myth that particularly irks me as it takes away from its (and their) originality. Viz had no influence on the team’s creation whatsoever. Mad Magazine’s satire and the wish to make something relevant to kids of the 80s inspired creators Patrick Gallagher, Tony Husband and Mark Rodgers. That last important point Alan correctly points out.

I asked Patrick about the books and Alan’s inclusion. “From what I remember, when we were working on the Crackling Tales books, we were also really busy dealing with the early stages of the TV side of things, which, initially, was to produce OiNK! for TV,” he told me. “I think we allowed [publishers] Knockabout to produce the Crackling Tales covers to our specifications but we provided everything else. I also think that Knockabout was the contact for Alan Moore.”

These are excellent additions to anyone’s OiNK collection

So what makes up both books? There’s a star strip in each, with 12 Burp strips by Jeremy Banx in the first volume and a ten-part Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins story by Tony Husband in the other. Things kick off with the very first Burp strip in fact and after reading his misadventures all the way through to the final weekly by now, these early editions feel so different. That’s not to say they’re any less funny than they were originally of course. Both characters are perfect ways to highlight OiNK’s uniqueness.

As you can see the strips are printed sideways which makes more sense when you think about how much smaller these pages are than the comic’s; if they’d been printed normally they’d be far too small to enjoy properly. With 100 pages the books aren’t thick enough for this to get in the way of the strips and their middle panels are still easily read, even spaced out a little more when the art allows. This makes for a decidedly different reading experience, which let’s face it suits the OiNK perfectly.

Alongside Burp and Horace you’ll find a selection of other regulars such as Tom Thug, Weedy Willy, Cowpat County, Zootown, Hugo the Hungry Hippo, even the likes of Lashy the Wonder Pig and a Butcher Watch are included. Also here are some others who never made it past the first year of the comic, like Maggie Pie, Pete’s Pup and Kid Gangster. There are also a selection of one-offs like Jeremy’s excellent Curse of the Mummy and Mrs Warsaw-Pact which I found so funny back in #13 and #10 respectively. Absolute classics!

As you can see from these photos of one-off Scruff of the Track and a Cowpat County the reproduction is superb even on this very different paper, all of the intricate details of Andy Roper’s and Davy Francis’ artwork still as crisp as they were on OiNK’s much larger glossy pages. It’s great to see things like Scruff here too, especially for readers who had come to OiNK much later and could use these books to catch up on some of what they missed. I expected these to be made up solely of the regulars still in the comic at the time of publication, so I’m glad to see I was wrong.

Below you can see the smaller strips look just as good with anything between two and four of them fitting in when spread across this format. Some of my favourites from the whole run are here too such as Henry the Wonder Dog by Davey Jones and Ian Knox’s Roger Rental He’s Completely Mental, who I’ve been really missing from the comic for a while now. The regulars also have a chance to share this space, their half-page entries sitting alongside their larger strips elsewhere, as you can see in two from Lew Stringer here.

When OiNK was printed on gloss paper (up to #35) greyscale colouring was something unique for us to enjoy, with other humour comics printed on newsprint of much lesser quality they were unable to produce the same result. Even when it changed to matt paper initially it was of a good enough stock for artists such as Lew to continue with this style (although it did stop when the comic went weekly for a while due to the paper). Pete and his Pimple above may not look quite as good as they did originally but I don’t think it looks bad at all for this paper.

So where did all those criticisms of the reproductions come from? There are some examples of strips losing detail in the transition to these books, although across the combined total of 116 only three strips suffer from this. One is below and unfortunately it’s a really rather good Burp strip. I’m not sure how this was okay for the publishers, maybe it just slipped through by accident, but to write off these books because of three such instances is just silly.

It’s great to see Willy here too in some of his earliest adventures back when he was guaranteed to pop up in every issue. His earliest pages were definitely among his strongest (not an adjective Willy was used to) and it’s been great to see him back on form these past few months in the read through ever since the second Holiday Special. Reading those and his starring role in these books, it’s clear he was a good choice to make the transfer to Buster later in the year.

Some other pages I was very happy to see reprinted were an early Tom Paterson contribution when it was still a possibility he could’ve been a regular cartoonist for Uncle Pigg, there are a few Christmassy strips which made me very happy indeed including a classic entry from The Sekret Diary ov Hadrian Vile, it was great to see Pete’s Pup again from the late Jim Needle, a character who really should’ve stayed around, and the first appearance of Tom’s Toe poking fun at conventional comics still grabs your attention thanks to his cartoonist being none other than John Geering!

**Meet Mister Cheese** by *Tom Paterson*
**Hadrian Vile** written by *Mark Rodgers*, drawn by *Ian Jackson*
**Pete’s Pup** by *Jim Needle*
**Tom’s Toe** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *John Geering*

These books appear on eBay quite regularly for a few quid each and for anyone who wants to relive some of their favourite childhood comics but doesn’t know which issues to choose from, or who likes the fact they can do so while storing them easily on a book shelf, these are a must. Unfortunately, there would be no more volumes in the series. “I don’t think we had any concrete plans to produce any more Crackling Tales books,” Patrick says. “That would have been dependent on how the first couple sold. But by the time that information might have come through, OiNK was probably history!”

Sadly that was most likely the case. I doubt these got much of a promotional push by Fleetway by this late stage in OiNK’s lifetime, especially seeing as how it had basically been rebooted as a monthly ‘magazine’ for teenagers by now. As it stands though, these are excellent additions to anyone’s OiNK collection, or even for your book collection as a great round up of OiNK’s crackling sense of humour.

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OiNK! #58: JUDGED TO BE FUNNY

7 April 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

I have distinct memories of showing this issue of OiNK to some friends of mine a few years after its publication when I’d moved on to grammar school and met some huge 2000AD fans. Their reaction to the cover and the strip inside was one of laughter, naturally. One of them had also collected OiNK, for the others it was something new and they were gutted not only at the fact Judge Pigg wasn’t a regular strip, but also that the comic itself was no longer being produced.

The lack of colour on the cover is a bit of a disappointment. The strip suits being in black and white as it’s a spoof of the earlier days of Judge Dredd when the majority of 2000AD also lacked colour, but I can’t help wonder how much better the cover could’ve looked. Interesting to note the comic is committing to ‘satire’ now too, after writer Graham Exton previously went to lengths to explain OiNK focussed on parody instead of satire and the difference between them . Perhaps this was another sign of the changing age of the audience mentioned in #51.

Steve Gibson is the perfect artist to parody the hard-edged style of classic Judge Dredd, making the joke of the whole thing even more reminiscent of what inspired it. In fact, I’d go so far as to say there’s something quite Brian Bolland about it, like Steve was spoofing that particular Dredd artist. It’s written by Mark Rodgers (of course it would be), someone who had worked for IPC Magazine’s humour comics for many years and who would’ve been very familiar with their stablemate sci-fi comic.

Also, as a regular cat sitter myself and someone who can’t walk past a kitty without trying to befriend them I just love that ending. This is one OiNK strip that’s even more enjoyable to me nowadays than it was when I was a mere ten-years-old. Not just because of the cat though. I think I appreciate the work Steve has put into the style of the strip overall because I’ve read a good bit of Dredd in the intervening years, whereas originally I don’t think I even knew the character.

Frank makes tabloid headlines the butt of his jokes with the actual story being very different to the assumption the headline produces

Since going weekly co-editor Tony Husband has contributed a hybrid full-page/mini-strip to each issue. Containing only two or three panels each but taking up a full page, there’s a chance those unfamiliar with OiNK and the freestyle drawings of Tony might initially think these pages are light on content, maybe even rushed as one friend put it at the time. Not true of course and when each and every one of them produces a good laugh who cares anyway?

Those of us used to two years of Tony’s award-winning style and his Horace (Ugly Face) Watkins strips enjoyed these bold full-page gags every week and they were a defining part of OiNK’s short but memorable 18-issue stint as a weekly comic. Tony also created one of my favourite non-regular characters, the multi-named Wonder Pig who this issue goes by the name Lazzie. They were getting a four-issue run (quickly followed up by one more in the first monthly) and the repetition of the predicament that would befall his owner continued to raise giggles.

Other highlights of #58 include Frank Sidebottom’s Little Bit of Show-biz (sic) Gossip at the bottom of his page. As per usual Frank makes tabloid headlines the butt of his jokes with the actual story being very different to the assumption the headline produces. Also, Hieronymous Van Hellsong is in the pits of hell looking for the soul of singer Raoul McCurtney and it appears even in that dark place there’s always that one person.

**Lazzie** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*
**Hieronymous Van Hellsong** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Frank Sidebottom** by *Chris Sievey*

I’ve mentioned before I’ve been surprised at how infrequently certain characters actually appeared in OiNK, simply because they’d formed such a strong part of my memories of the comic from childhood. Perhaps the very fact some of my favourites weren’t in every issue helped make their appearances all that more memorable and I think this applies to the following series as well, which I’m very surprised to discover had only six episodes.

Charlie Brooker’s The Swinelight Zone popped up in #44 as a one-off strip and then reappeared three weeks ago in #55. It’s been in each issue since as well as the recent Holiday Special but it disappears after this, never to return. I’d thought it was a regular fixture all the way through to the last issue. What a shame, but at least they go out on a high. Quite literally in this case.

One strip which would remain with us until the very end was Kev F Sutherland’s Meanwhile… series. Each had a completely different scenario with nothing to link them other than the title and the cartoonist’s unique sense of humour. Kev would take a seemingly trivial locale or event and create a guaranteed laugh from it in his own unique way, such as ‘Meanwhile at the Fun Fair…’ back in #49. That was a properly funny mini-strip and I’m very happy to see the return of the series for the first time since gets a full page.

There’d be at least one in each of the monthlies and they really were a constant defining highlight of those later issues. The Meanwhile… in this issue is the perfect example of what we could expect so much of. It takes a simple idea, a simple joke that could’ve worked in a smaller capacity and takes it to another level, making it as crazy and as funny as possible before the pay off. So, after Kev’s pun-packed March of the Killer Breakfasts last week comes something completely diffferent.

That was the beauty of the Meanwhile… series; on the surface they were more like a series of one-offs by the same talented cartoonist, every single one felt completely different, yet that idea of taking a joke and getting as much value out of it as possible was key. The example above still pops into my head today whenever I hear someone utter those words, and I have a little chuckle to myself every time.

From strips I thought were regulars but weren’t, to one I thought was a tiny little one-off when it appeared in the previous Christmas issue but then was delighted to see return just a few weeks ago. It’s The Kingdom of Trump. This is another last appearance unfortunately, but then again I didn’t expect more than one in the first place so I’m just happy to see it. This is also the most memorable of the trilogy.

I’d loved to have seen what else Davey could’ve come up with

Davey Jones’ King isn’t the main character in this one but the silliness of his kingdom and all those who dwell within is very much front and centre. Davey’s sense of humour is completely insane; go and have a look at #20’s war spoof Bridge Over the River Septic if you need any more proof of that! He’d later become a hit in the pages of Viz and you can clearly see why in his OiNK work.

From the wooden stick masquerading as a horse to the dragon living in a cave right next to the throne with a polite little doorbell, there’s so much that made me laugh on this half-page. Funniest of all is that silent penultimate panel with that facial expression! The Kingdom of Trump really should’ve been a regular, the three examples we got were so funny, each one better than what came before. I’d loved to have seen what else Davey could’ve come up with.

On that note we come to the end of another review. We of course finish with co-editor Patrick Gallagher’s newsagent reservation coupon as per usual, moving from the already random Great Moments in History to the completely daft Great Moments in the Height of Good Manners (number 76 no less). April is the last month full of weekly issues so make sure to come back next Friday 14th April 2023 for #59 as we inch closer to the next big evolution in the life of OiNK.

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OiNK! #55: A PiGGiN’ GREAT EFFiGY

17 March 2023 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

With the latest issue of OiNK comes the return of Hieronymous Van Hellsong in a prequel mini-series by Jeremy Banx. We’d been introduced to the character in the first half dozen weeklies as he tracked down his ultimate target, Jimmy ‘The Cleaver’ Smith. It all ended in tragedy as our hero was made into sausage links and used by the butcher to escape the pig police. (Jeremy is nothing if not original.) This prequel tale is the last story for Hellsong, introduced by a sobbing Uncle Pigg on the Grunts page.

I remember part of this story revolving around him being in the nude but it doesn’t happen this week so the cover is rather confusing. But nevertheless it’s good to have him back. The same can also be said of The Kingdom of Trump, a name which conjures somewhat different images today. At the time it referred to a family with a name that meant nothing more than flatulence. Hmm, maybe some things haven’t changed.

As good as this is, the characters only appeared three times in OiNK, back here for the first time since #43 and as a full-colour page instead of a mini strip. As ever with his pages Davey Jones gives himself a silly name in the credits and fills the strip with lots of funny little details, like the doctor’s tools hidden behind his desk and what looks like a cameo by Smiffy of Bash Street Kids at the public flogging. It wouldn’t be a Davey strip without some awful puns too and this has one of his best in that final panel.

Beginning in Whizzer and Chips of all places and then continuing into last week’s OiNK, Lew Stringer’s Tom Thug and his Crude Crew is at its midway point, starting with Tom and a baby and finishing with the complete gang. Surely everyone in OiNKtown will now be quaking in their shoes? Well, not quite. From Tom’s misogyny backfiring (as it should) and the cliché of needing a punk compared to what he ends up with, to a mention of one of my favourite TV shows at the time (I can remember laughing at that bit in particular), this one had it all.

I always like it when a character acknowledges they’re living in the pages of a comic, so ending with Tom not only looking directly at us but also acknowledging that his pathetic little gang won’t be able to cause bovver for a whole week I find particularly funny. That juxtaposition between the panel of the completed gang which catches your eye as soon as you turn the page and the penultimate one where they all have their excuses is brilliant. It emphasises the difference between how bullies present themselves and how they really are. Classic stuff.

Last week saw a rare thing occur in the history of OiNK when a whole issue went by without a trip to David Haldane’s Zootown. A staple from the very beginning, skipping only occasional issues, I’m very glad to see the loveable human-esque animals back with another quick gag in a mini-strip. There’s just the one panel this week actually, but that’s all David needed to deliver a good laugh.

Such a shame their continued inclusion can’t be said of some of David’s other creations. In #52 we were told Rubbish Man would be back in a mini series soon (which ends up contained in one of the bigger monthlies) but sadly Hugo the Hungry Hippo seems to have had his fill of chowing down on cities around the world, Godzilla-style. Last seen in The OiNK! Book 1988, his last appearance in the regular comic was way back in #35! We’ll eventually get one more laugh from his insatiable appetite in the third Holiday Special next year but for now it would seem he’s taking a much earned rest between meals.

Keith Forrest and Mike Green have brought Weedy Willy back to full strength again

Back to the issue at trotter and Hieronymous Van Hellsong’s prequel begins with a few Beatles gags during the assassination that starts his adventure, and then Burp’s strip has surely one of the best names created for a comic. Lew decided to end his Pete and his Pimple strip with a random little image that, as you can see, had nothing at all to do with the page. However, according to Lew OiNK’s editors decided to have a little joke themselves and added that cheeky little arrow to it before publication!

The final panel below is from the end of the Billy the Pig serial which comes to a conclusion this week. I haven’t included much of it before now because sadly I just didn’t like it, which is a shock when I think of all those hilarious Laffie the Wonder Pig strips Tony and Chas brought us. But unfortunately Billy reads like any other children’s western adventure story but with pigs in the lead roles, only the occasional joke added in, rather than being a humour strip.

**Hieronymous Van Hellsong** and **Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Pete and his Pimple** by *Lew Stringer*
**Billy the Pig** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*

Thankfully a handful of Laffie (or whatever they’ll be called) strips coming up on a weekly basis very soon gave us more to look forward to from this wonderful pairing of writer and artist.

For a strip that would be one of only three to survive beyond the final issue (becoming part of the merge with Buster) recently Weedy Willy has only been popping up occasionally and even then as a mini-strip. Back at the beginning he was mainly seen in full pages and, because of his move into Buster, my memory thought this was how it always was. Written by a variety of talent over the past couple of years, new writer Keith Forrest and regular Willy artist Mike Green have brought him back to full strength again. Well, as much as the character could be.

Only appearing in roughy half of the issues in total, Weedy Willy wouldn’t even be part of the final one before the merge, strangely enough. But when he did pop up he was always a highlight. Yes, he could be the butt of the jokes but it was never in a cruel way, it was just exaggerated silliness. Willy had accepted his lack of any form of strength and the things he’d do to compensate (such as above) were always very funny. Sometimes he’d even get the upper hand over bullies thanks to not being able to do certain things and having to think his way out of situations. He was simply a brilliant character.

In the middle pages is the first poster we’ve seen in quite a while (Simon Thorp’s spoof movie posters were only ever a page in size, meant to be read rather than put on our walls). This is Dave Huxley’s third and final contribution to OiNK, the first being a poster of the Mona Li-sow and then he returned with The Hamformers in the previous Christmas issue. His final piece takes an icon of liberty, of the end of slavery and of welcoming immigrants… and turns her into a cheeky-faced butcher-cooking colossus.

I always felt the name ‘The Statue of Piggery’ didn’t read quite right. While that is an actual word meaning either “a farm where pigs are bred or kept” or “behaviour seen as characteristic of pigs in greed or unpleasantness” so it might make sense, this is OiNK and its piggy puns don’t have to make sense. So I always thought ‘Piggerty’ was right there and would’ve sounded better, but oh well. Given the look on her face I’m not about to argue the point.

Such a shame Dave wouldn’t contribute to any of the remaining issues. In a later interview with Crikey! magazine he says he thinks he was hoping to make a career out of historical pig parodies but attributes his lack of further posters or Madvertisements to the comic being cancelled. We’re still a long way off from that so I don’t know why this was it for his time with Uncle Pigg. It’s been a blast anyway.

This has to be one of my favourites just because of how stupid it is!

Elsewhere in this issue is a cut-out mask of our aforementioned esteemed editor, Uncle Pigg. This was actually the last in a series which began on the back pages after the weekly calendar had been completed between #45 and #50. Why have I not shown any of them? I thought I’d wait and show you them all in a post of their own, so watch out for that later at some future date on the blog.

This has to be one of my favourites of co-editor Patrick Gallagher’s coupons, just because of how stupid it is! There’s lot of extra OiNK to enjoy over the next week or so. Three times as much actually. Pete and his Pimple will ‘pop’ up in Buster comic and then alongside the regular 24 pages of #56 of the weekly comic is the second 48-page Holiday Special too. So watch out for the full reviews of all of these over the next week and a bit.

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OiNK Comic Reviews

OiNK! #30: THE SPiTTiNG iMAGE OF FUN!

13 June 2022 Phil Boyce Leave a comment

This cover really takes me back and I’m not just talking abut OiNK itself. I’m clearly referencing the classic puppet satire show Spitting Image, whose characters were used in this edition. I was also a big fan of the series even if at that age a lot of the jokes went over my head. But there were always enough to keep me giggling for half an hour on a Sunday night. For our 30th issue they’ve collaborated with Uncle Pigg for the results of the OiNK Awards as voted for by pig pals.

We’ll get to that in a bit, although you can see from the front cover who won The World’s Biggest Wally. We kick off with our final set of free postcards, plonked in the middle of the award ceremony itself. Following up on Jeremy Banx and Lew Stringer is Ian Jackson with these brilliant Uncle Pigg and Mary Lighthouse (critic) cards. I think both of these would’ve been great advertisements in other comics for OiNK, or made for very funny postcards to drop through the letterbox of unsuspecting family members waiting for a picturesque beach or mountaintop.

The issue itself begins with Mary’s own strip welcoming us to the subject of celebrities. Written as ever by Mark Rodgers and again drawn by Ian, she’s disgusted that respected famous people would be getting the OiNK treatment like this, but thinks the inclusion of herself on one of the postcards will send the right message. Naturally, it doesn’t quite work out as she planned and my favourite funny moment here comes right at the end with that poor policeman.

There’s another very important award to hand out this issue, the ‘Most Helpful Superhero Award’ so surely that means our resident high-flying, highly smelly Rubbish Man by David Haldane is up for a gong. Well no, apparently his whiffy antics aren’t award material. While he can make a hash of things, most times he does end up saving the day, but with that comes the pong and the mess left behind; not of destroyed buildings and terrified citizens but of mouldy mashed potatoes and cold spaghetti bolognese left everywhere. However, now he’s on a mission to prove he deserves recognition as a true hero.

This is one of my favourite Rubbish Man strips and contains nearly all of the elements that made David’s creation so enjoyable. We’ve got a ridiculous situation to begin with, an introduction of another completely random enemy character, an unsurpassed level of ever-increasing daftness in every single panel, our hero trying his best but failing epically and an ending you won’t see coming. In fact, the only thing missing is those aforementioned rotting foodstuffs he’d secrete from various parts of his body, with only his stench in the first panels reminding us of his unwelcome powers.

Even an old armchair can be a superhero in Haldane’s world, and even an old armchair that’s in the right spot by pure chance is a more welcome hero for the populace it would seem. Poor Rubbish Man. But Jimmy Bung (his alter-ego) isn’t the only character whose attempts at helping others regularly backfires, as equally (if not, more so) smelly alien Burp can attest. In this issue his latest invention teleports fast food straight into people’s stomachs so they don’t have to taste it but as always it doesn’t go quite as planned, as you can see in one of this issue’s many highlights. Also, check out Steve Gibson’s fruity version of Dustin Hoffman on the celebrity news page and our Wonder Pig gets yet another new name.

**Burp** by *Jeremy Banx*
**Nigel Hamster Diary** drawn by *Steve Gibson*
**Lattie** written by *Tony Husband*, drawn by *Chas Sinclair*

It’s time for the main event. With categories such as Worst Pop Group, Worst Dressed Person, Unfunniest Comedian and even Worst Comic, the readers of OiNK didn’t hold back in sharing what they thought of celebrities and 80s culture. There are quite a few on the shortlist, and even some I was a huge fan of at the time but it was all in good jest, giving the young readers the chance to take their own pot shots at the likes of those OiNK had targeted since the very beginning.

Taking up four pages in the middle of the issue we first get a chance to see each of the ten categories and the top three contenders in each, assembled by co-editor Patrick Gallagher. This opens out into the spread in the middle of the comic with those glorious Spitting Image Workshop puppets accepting the awards (a printed piece of card on a lanyard), although there was a particular recipient who looked incredibly lifelike as you’ll see. Tony Husband organised the photoshoot with the programme and Ian Tilton was the photographer (as an aside, Ian’s brother Mark was in the band The Creepers with OiNK’s Marc Riley), with radio DJ John Peel presenting the Most Annoying DJ Award. John had already contributed to #16 and had even played the flexidisc on air.

Kudos to Steve Wright for playing along. Tony told me recently Steve was great on the day and had a brilliant sense of humour about the whole thing when he found out. Given who helped with this it’s a surprise to see The Chicken Song take away the World’s Worst Pop Song Award. Although let’s face it, Spitting Image’s song was purposefully written to be very annoying, a parody of the string of summer pop entries that were filling the 80s charts. Bob Geldof and Ronald Reagan get well-deserved titles, although I can’t help but disagree with George Michael‘s and I’ve at least a few female friends who might take issue with the pig pals over that one.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series

All British comics are eclipsed by Beano, a regular target of OiNK’s for its safe humour and out-of-date characters at the time so it had a good chance of winning the Worst Comic Award. It’s completely reimagined itself over the intervening years and today contains a lot of rebellious, anarchic humour that would make Uncle Pigg proud, not least thanks to some cartoonists who grew up with our piggy publication. It’s a great comic and if you’ve any kids yourselves then you should definitely take advantage of the superb online subscription offers they always run.

The OiNK team would go on to work closely with the Spitting Image Workshop on their Round the Bend TV series, the puppets of which were designed by co-creator/editor Patrick Gallagher, and later in the 90s he’d be a commissioned writer on Spitting Image for six years. What a shame this was the only awards ceremony the comic would do, despite these being labelled as the first. It’s brilliant fun and looked like it was a blast to be a part of. As far as this reader is concerned it remains one of the most memorable highlights of the comic’s whole run. For now, let’s move on to something more “interleckshual”.

Hadrian Vile’s unique perspective perfectly matches the subject matter here. Taking a fresh look at the royals, politicians and more from the viewpoint of a child is a good idea on its own, but Hadrian’s character elevates it. He always thought of himself as being intellectually superior to pretty much everyone around him, so his child’s viewpoint is presented very matter-of-fact, very seriously in his young mind. Of course this means it’s all completely bonkers, just perfect for the 80s in fact.

Written by Mark Rodgers and illustrated by Ian Jackson, it’s always funny to see Ian’s interpretation of famous people, his jagged, exaggerated style perfectly capturing personalities as well as looks. In a way this page seems to go hand-in-hand with all of the television puppets contained in this issue. It’s also not the only time that British Prime Minister popped up in the issue, in fact she gets a starring role in the origin story of a certain critic and nemesis of our editor hog.

Two legs bad. Four legs better.
Davey’s Jones’ Prime Monster

Davey Jones brings us Prime Monster (as ever with Davey it’s even signed in a silly way), which takes place a few decades before the 80s when we find two young girls by the names of Margaret and Mary down on the pig farm. The two spoilt brats have reckoned with the wrong set of little piglets to bully because in amongst their number is one teeny tiny pig who has already got the prerequisite pencil behind his ear. Amongst all the chaos Davey has even seen fit to include a couple of very OiNK-like riffs on a famous George Orwell quote. A great strip. Here it is, have fun.

Of course these two women would’ve been the best of childhood friends! At least in OiNKtown anyway. Yes, the characters and their stories were set in ‘OiNKtown’, a basic take on Beanotown. In the earlier issues PORKsmouth was used a couple of times but more as a place to ridicule and, obviously, somewhere Mary Lighthouse loved to visit. Surely Porksmouth would’ve been a better name than OiNKtown though? Anyway, I digress (as I do). For now that’s the end of the review, with just enough space to tell you about what’s coming up next.

The next regular OiNK will be an all-American issue and its review will be here from Monday 13th June 2022 but before that there’s a special extra to watch out for in the shape of Crash magazine #42. Regular readers of the blog will know what this is in reference to, but if you’re not up to speed go and check out the post about Zzap!64 #26 from last month. Crash not only contained an interview with OiNK’s three creators and an original Frank Sidebottom page, there was also the small matter of a special, free, original 16-page edition of our favourite comic! Check out Crash from Saturday 25th June, the free OiNK a few days later. It was an exciting time to be a pig pal in 1987, I hope I can recreate a little of that excitement right here.