It’s taken me a while to write this. I wanted to take the time to tell you a little about my dad, I just didn’t think I’d be writing this so soon. In August, just five short months after my mum passed and I wrote about her, my dad passed away. He was never the same after mum died and on the way to the hospital he kept kissing his wedding ring, ready to go and join her. It’s been a tough year.

If anyone ever asks me about my dad the first thing I mention is always his sense of humour. He was always lovably daft. I remember as a child when he was making himself a cup of tea and I’d shout into the kitchen from the living room, “Can I have a cup?” he’d say yes, and then proceed to come out with his tea and an empty cup for me. “Well, you didn’t say you wanted anything in it.” Then off I’d go to make my own cuppa!

Or how about the life lessons our dads teach us when we’re in our formative years? Like when mum would’ve asked him to do some dusting around the house while she was out, and he’d pull me aside to show me which ornaments to swap about into the wrong places to make it look like he’d done it. Dad’s sense of humour was wonderful and I remember growing up and discovering stand up comedy through him too with the likes of Billy Connelly and Dave Allen, and watching Married with Children together.

It’s strange the random memories that come back when we lose someone we love, and how previously forgotten childhood memories can resurface, clear as crystal in our minds. I remember being very, very young and we lived at the bottom of a hill. My dad owned a motorbike back then and when he came home from work he’d always stop at the top of the hill and wait for me to come running out of the house and all the way up to him so I could ride down on his back. I can see that in my mind as if it were yesterday, something I hadn’t thought of in decades.

As I approach the first Christmas without them I can hear their voices telling me to celebrate and enjoy my favourite time of the year. I’ll make sure I do, in their honour. In fact, this festive season I’ll be partaking in a certain hobby for the first time since childhood, one which my dad and I enjoyed together at times. When I was a kid he sourced a huge wooden board for my Hornby trains and painted it with grass, rivers and roads. I look forward to opening my first model train set in about 30 years this Christmas and thinking about how much dad would’ve been right there with me enjoying it.

My mum and dad split just after I left high school and I didn’t see him for many years. I was in my 30s when he moved back to our hometown and I went to visit him, happy with the news they were talking and had become friends again. They seemed so genuinely happy. I shouldn’t have been surprised then when my dad phoned me one day asking if I had any use of some old TV equipment at mum’s apartment. I asked why and he said he needed to make room for his stuff. I’d no idea they’d even got back together! That was a very happy day.

Dad hadn’t been well for some time at the home where he’d spent the last few years. However, the last time I saw him he was in good form and had seemed to perk up towards the end. In hindsight it was like he knew he was going to see mum again soon. I’ve never understood that whole ‘They’re no longer in pain’ thing people say. I do now, and I’m happy he’s at peace and the two of them are together again.

My mum and dad both watch over me now from atop my bookshelf in this photo, the same one I showed you earlier in the year. It was the last one I ever took of the three of us together because I so rarely take photos of myself. I know I’ll see them again. Although the wait will be agonising I’ll never stop thinking about them and how they raised me. I hope I can make both of them proud.

To end with, here’s a photo my dad took on a family holiday to the Isle of Man back in 1985. He found the licence plate so hilarious he just had to take a picture of it, which he gave to me when we got them developed. I found it while looking for photos of him and it made me laugh so hard remembering him in that moment!

Love you dad. ❤️

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