SLEEZE BROTHERS #4: OH, MOTHER!

This cover perfectly sums up our inept private detectives from the far future of Earth and welcomes us to the first issue of the second half of The Sleeze Brothers’ run. Time is flying and soon we’ll be all out of misadventures for this duo, so I’m glad each episode has proven to be such a riotous, laugh-a-minute ride.

In this issue Mr. A. Mystery has invited the greatest detectives in the city to his outer space murder mystery weekend. Sam Spud, Vanity Case, Charlie Chin, Miss McMuffins and Mike Mallet are all present and correct as spoofs of the most successful fictional detectives. Plus the brothers have been invited too. While the rest enjoy first class snobbery, El’ Ape and Deadwood make the rocket journey in the cargo hold on their way to Norman’s Flotel, and if that name made me giggle to myself then the title spread made me grin from ear-to-ear!

It’s clear that the whole mini-series of six issues is going to be one pastiche after another. While the brothers were (as launch editor Richard Starkings admitted) heavily… ‘inspired’ by The Blues Brothers, it appears every other character, setting and storyline is a parody of some popular cultural icon or other. Well, as a huge fan of Psycho this one was right up my street as soon as it began, with the Bates Motel sitting atop an asteroid floating about in space. As you do.

Murder in Space is brought to us by the same crazy team of John Carnell (writer and co-creator), Andy Lanning (pencils and co-creator, as mentioned), Stephen Baskerville (inks), Helen Stone (letters), Steve White (colours) and Dan Abnett (editor), and this wouldn’t be the same if any one of them had been replaced by someone else. They are the perfect team for this comic!

So it’s The Sleeze Brothers does Agatha Christie meets Alfred Hitchcock and I can comfortably say this is the best issue yet. Not only is the subject matter right up my street but it feels like there’s two issue’s worth of gags squeezed into one and every single one of them lands. Every. Single. One. I’m not exaggerating here, folks. This is hilarious from beginning to end and even the inclusion of what could be seen as a somewhat problematic character today doesn’t detract, as long as you remember when this was written.

The Greebas are an alien race somewhat based on Asian stereotypes of the 80s, with ninja characters in previous issues and the ‘Charlie Chin’ detective here. There’s nothing in this or any other issue so far that pokes fun at any real ethnicity, indeed if anything they come across as aliens who have come to Earth and landed in a part of Asia instead of the clichéd American landings, and have simply learned to fit in there instead of, say, Los Angeles.

So, if you can ignore the very-80s clichéd name you’ll find they’re just another good natured spoof alongside the jokes taking aim at American capitalism, Western politics, US police corruption and the many, many other parodies you’ll see on every page. The characters end up gathered around a table watching a video of the mysterious person who has summoned them, who tells them it’s not a game; a murder is about to be committed and they have until morning to solve it, their very lives depending on it.

“Agghhh! Dieee chip-suckerrrr!”

El’ Ape reacting to a wine cork pop

The loudmouth American, Mike Wallet becomes so outraged that while confronting the spineless Norman Normaller the butler, Norman collapses to the ground, dead. This is one murder the butler didn’t do, as El ‘Ape tells us. There’s no sign of foul play, it’s like a switch had just been turned off on Norman. Then, one-by-one they all start dropping like flies. The film noir detective, Sam Spud (you can guess who he’s based on) croaks it next, poisoned by his drink.

In a particularly funny moment when El’ Ape is making some bad puns about the death, he’s acting all tough until it’s pointed out to him that he’s about to drink the same wine. After two murders right in front of his own eyes it takes things to (almost) affect him directly before he clicks there’s a murderer among them. They decide to split up, the Sleezes taking the wine cellar and one cork pop is enough for El ‘Ape above!

The searches are fruitless and as they gather together again the Greeba’s comment had me roaring. (I’ll be using that one whenever I can.) Concluding the murderer is one of them (hilariously described as “a detecticidal maniac”) they decide to go to their rooms to sleep for the night and all lock themselves in at exactly the same time. But in the morning someone has been hung in their room! A corny poem is left by the murderer at every crime scene and soon they realise they’ve only one option left and sit around a table watching each other until their shuttle back to Earth arrives.

With all the killing making her nervous, Vanity Case, the lady who the male detectives have all been drooling over, heads for the loo but after 20 minutes the remaining three start getting nervous themselves. Deadbeat kicks the door down and they find the room empty and another note. The Greeba panics and sprints to the nearest emergency escape pod which gets ejected from the hotel with a satisfying spitting sound effect.

There are only the Sleeze Brothers left and no murderer has been found, a fact that slowly (very slowly) seeps into El’ Ape’s brain when he finds what he thinks is a goodbye note. The over-the-top comedic guy and the straight guy routine works brilliantly here as one brother’s detective skills crumble (if he had any to begin with) leaving it to Deadbeat to offer up his own elegant solution.

When I turned the next page I saw a large panel with Vanity Case still alive and holding a gun over someone so I assumed for a second she must be the killer, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. There’s no way I could’ve predicted this ending.

So, she’s being held prisoner instead of being murdered because the killer fancies her, of course. We only see him in silhouette for a page or two and he says if any of the so-called “greatest detectives” even bothered to look for secret passages they’d have solved everything and he reiterates the “oldest trick in the book” gag from #1. At this point El’ Ape does indeed find a secret passage, although it’s by fumbling luck of course, and what do they find? Well…!

Nope, I didn’t see that coming! Even with the Psycho parallels, too. Taking the controlling nature of Mother to the extreme, this team’s creative imaginations are either sheer brilliance or evidence of some crazed minds. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions. As for this issue’s conclusion, Norman hadn’t died, he’d been put in a comatose state by the “sharp mind” of his parasitic brother Jacques, but as the killer does the usual long-winded explanation (and El’ Ape doesn’t miss a beat with a “I had a hunch” moment), Norman begins to wake.

The ludicrous slapstick of it all is brilliantly realised, isn’t it? The skill of John’s script and the artists’ in bringing it to the page cannot be overstated. From the image of Norman and Jacques fighting it out to Vanity getting accidentally thrown to safety by a panicked El’ Ape, and of course the idiocy of Jacques getting so mad he kills the person in whose body he resides, then pleading with him not to die!

The story ends with El’ Ape and Deadwood thinking they’ve got it all sown up, including the reward. All they have to do is sit on top of the cupboard Vanity is stuck inside until the authorities arrive, explain they solved it all and collect their cash. Then we see the newspaper headline: “Vanity Unveils Vile Villain” and the brothers are back in the luggage haul of the rocket on their way home, only this time inside a wooden case. All that’s left is for El’ Ape to have the final, brilliant word.

What an absolute blast this has been! If you only ever pick up one issue of The Sleeze Brothers make sure it’s this one. Then again, I’ve yet to read the final issues, so maybe hang fire and see if anything trumps this one, although I can’t see how they could. However, after the laughs I’ve had here I won’t underestimate this team’s ability to outdo themselves yet again. The penultimate regular issue will be reviewed right here in only three weeks on Monday 21st October 2024.

iSSUE THREE < > iSSUE FiVE

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TRANSFORMERS GENERATiON 2 #1: FOUR MiLLiON YEARS iN THE MAKiNG

Finally here we are, ready to begin a brand new (to me and thus the blog) series of classic Transformers comics. Reading the entire original Marvel UK run in real time was one of the very best comics reading experiences of my life and here is the sequel, the highly regarded Transformers: Generation 2, the original US series. The hype I’m feeling is somewhat tempered by the fact there’ll only be 12 reviews over one year compared to the 375 posts I made on Instagram for the previous run(!), but it’s still all brand new to me, I’ve never read an issue of this, so the excitement levels are still very high.

This first issue is a chunky 68 pages, although cheekily the middle 16 are one long advert for Marvel’s new Midnight Sons so it’s not quite as chunky as it first appears. (And yes, it’s not a sample comic strip, it’s an actual 16-page advert.) However, chapter one of the new Transformers, entitled War Without End continues to be written by Simon Furman and comes in at 37 pages. That’s a good start. As for that shiny foil version of the cover, it opens out into this lovely gatefold image.

Before we get stuck into the meat of the story I do have one issue with that cover. I may not have read any of these yet but I’ve seen this front page umpteen times over the years, and it’s been peering out at me on my shelves since I completed the collection a few years back. It’s that tagline at the top. It had only been two years since the end of the first generation of Transformers comics, how young did Marvel US think people were having kids?!

Anyway, let’s roll out!

The story begins with a space cruiser’s captain being informed of an attack somewhere far out in the galaxy, far away from both Earth and Cybertron and the title spread shows some familiar faces surprisingly spearheading that attack. Hound, Broadside, Sideswipe and Blades (on the following pages) are seen killing everyone around them, with Blades taking particular glee in doing so.

The way it’s been conveyed to the reader is meant to lead us down the path of thinking these Autobots’ allegiances have changed. The war was meant to be over. The scene is reported as a surprise strike attack. The Autobots are the instigators. But then we see one of the so-called victims of their attack transform and the dramatic entrance of an old friend, it’s confirmed there’s More Than Meets The Eye here. How appropriate.

These pages of rollicking action art come courtesy of new Transformers artist Derek Yaniger (Hellraiser, Web of Spider-Man, Alpha Flight) and the colours of Sarra Mossoff (Deathlok, Darkman, Mighty Thor). This is some wild imagery. I’d only ever seen the occasional panel or some of their covers when used on Fleetway’s UK Generation 2 comics, but this is the first time I’ve held any of it in my hands and it’s right up there with the very best UK Marvel stuff from the likes of Geoff Senior, Andrew Wildman, Stephen Baskerville and Gina Hart.

“Early digital lettering days, so why not use a more robotic looking font?”

Richard Starkings, letterer

This is just gorgeous to look at. It’s genuinely exciting and begs to be studied at length before moving on to the next page. The lettering is also rather unique and it’s the creation of friend of the blog Richard Starkings (editor on The Real Ghostbusters, Dragon’s Claws, The Sleeze Brothers). It’s mentioned elsewhere in this issue by Simon that it was Richard who came up with Generation 2’s lettering style and so I just had to ask Richard directly about it.

“Early digital lettering days, so why not use a more robotic looking font?”, Richard told me about his and John Gaushell‘s work when we spoke. “We suggested color coding the boxes on the left to match the Transformer and gave the Dinobots a different style. If there was a bold word, we hit the boxes with black. Rob Tokar was the editor, one of a handful of editors who was happy to see digital lettering on his books. And this was a perfect fit.” No arguments here.

It’s actually Grimlock who comes out with a couple of rousing speeches during this story rather than Optimus Prime, including one where he wipes away the dirt from his body to reveal the new look Autobot logo Hasbro had designed for the new toy range. Simon has given him a speech pattern somewhere between the original UK strips and that of the famous cartoon voice, and it works. Then we find out that the robot called Jhiaxus (a creation of the comic), to whom the report of the attack was given aboard his spaceship Twilight, is actually the leader of the Decepticons. How so? Where’s Bludgeon? Intriguing.

So anyway, we find out the Autobots were actually saving some rather thin-looking humanoid aliens from an invasion by Decepticons they’d never encountered before, and Jhiaxus’ minions questions why they’re fighting. They’ve never heard of the term “Autobots” and thought they were all Cybertronians so should be working together. Jhiaxus describes the name as an acronym from the distant past and something to disregard. Curiouser and curiouser.

Four million years of conflict, stretching between Cybertron and Earth, and finally… all the old ghosts laid to rest!”

Optimus Prime

We finally catch up with Optimus Prime who seems to be having some sort of vision. A vision of him standing upon a dead world, surrounded by screams, dead beings rising from the ground and as soon as they touch him he turns to dust. It’s a recurring waking nightmare and he describes it as a vision of him “running from something unspeakably ancient and evil”. Again? After the whole Unicron and Primus thing we’re going down that route again? Then, as if in answer to my query we get this lovely next page.

I really like this. The story can be read with no previous knowledge of what came before, which Simon touches upon in a special page later in the comic, but this adds a bit of weight for new readers and an acknowledgment to fans. The best way I can describe it is if you started watching Doctor Who when Christopher Ecclestone or Ncuti Gatwa took over the role. These were two moments when the whole show reset itself and welcomed in new viewers while also showing them there’s a rich history there they can delve into if they so wish. I get that same vibe here and as a fan who has read everything that came before it’s an exciting feeling to have.

One thing that could’ve used a bit of explanation for long-term fans is how some characters such as Optimus and Grimlock can transform again after using the Nucleon energy source which gave them incredible powers but stopped this fundamental ability. We UK readers had the explanation in the prose story of the final annual but US readers didn’t, so I’m curious how this was met by them at the time. Not that the transformations occurring here are anything to write home about.

This is the one and only thing I can criticise the incredible art for. We don’t get those intricate drawings from issues past showing how each character changed from one form to the next, not even the wavy lines of Dan Reed. Instead we see the before and after shots in the same panels, with nothing in between. I have an overwhelmingly positive view of this comic as the start of something brilliant, but not showing these feels misguided in a Transformers comic. Although look closely and I do like how we can see Hot Rod‘s cannon fire continue through his (invisible) transformation.

At least Prime’s name isn’t plastered over the side of his trailer.

It’s interesting that they’ve kept their Earthen modes despite leaving the planet behind. Maybe they’ve grown attached. They find themselves out in the cosmos seeking out the worlds Bludgeon and his Decepticons have attacked as they look to build a new Cybertron (seemingly never finding out it wasn’t destroying itself at the end of the previous run but going through some kind of rebirth). Prime questions his own motives and those of Bludgeon until Grimlock gathers everyone together, having summoned them to this planet in the first place.

Reading the spread above the mystery deepens for the Autobots but the readers are aware of who is actually behind the creation of all of these “Little Cybertrons”, and possibly behind all of the conflict they’ve found in this sector of the galaxy. It’s a neat twist that we’re up to speed before the main characters and to see them trying to work it out. That is, until Jhiaxus’ ship arrives and blasts their base to pieces.

Before they get to meet him we get a very quick double-page spread for an update on the whereabouts of Megatron for anyone who hadn’t been on board with the G.I. Joe crossover event. It’s a neat addition and makes me wish David had been the artist on that comic after Andrew Wildman and Stephen Baskerville’s earlier chapters!

So it all comes together with Optimus Prime and Grimlock hauled in front of Jhiaxus at gunpoint and he explains he and his cohorts left Cybertron four million years ago after Prime, Megatron et all went missing in deep space. Escaping their dying world and leaving behind those he deemed unworthy to lead (including a nice image of Lord Straxus for long-term fans, especially UK ones), they set about constructing new worlds. At least, that’s how he puts it.

To him, they are one race now: Decepticons. There is no more good or evil, he says. That way of thinking is for lesser beings than Cybertronians, like the Autobots who he sees as a strange “offshoot” of the true race. If beings can’t co-exist with them then they are simply deemed unworthy of sharing the universe and are exterminated. Jhiaxus has spent millions of years building new Cybertrons and a great galactic empire. He’s a genuinely original and interesting character for Transformers, bringing some social commentary with him.

Afterwards, it’s Grimlock who gives another speech (and is that a pictorial reference to the classic story with the best title ever?), this time for Prime’s benefit and in response something awakens inside Optimus. The war was won, but for what? He has fought for Cybertron and its people and all the while those very people were conquering the universe in the name of expansion and some higher calling. We see a battle to escape over the final pages with a more violent Prime not taking prisoners. He is disgusted at his own race and afterwards he goes over the task that lies ahead in his mind.

The final page, those final thoughts, sum up what this Generation 2 comic will be all about. Plus there’s that pesky ancient evil thing too, of course, which I’m still sceptical of because it feels well-trodden. It could be something brand new, but so far the pitch for it seems all too familiar. Still, the Jhiaxus storyline is fantastic! This has been an incredible opening chapter to what should’ve been another multi-year epic. It certainly has the potential, even without that apocalyptic vision which feels unnecessary with everything else here already being on such a grand scale.

What will eventually become the letters page is instead a personal message from writer Simon Furman in this premiere issue. He mentions Richard Starkings’ great lettering design and also the return of Geoff Senior. Fantastic! Between this and the back page advert for the series (below, taken from the back of the gatefold issue), a lot is made of the point I talked about regarding new readers. The thing is, with a name like ‘Transformers: Generation 2’, which screams “SEQUEL” I wonder how successful that goal could possibly be in reality.

The next issue box promises a return to the storyline involving Megatron and Spike from #142 of G.I. Joe and with that this big, fat first issue of this fondly remembered series comes to an end for the first time for this new reader. I know it ends up cut short after only 12 chapters, but this next year still promises to be an incredible experience for this Transformers fan. I can’t wait to jump back in on Sunday 27th October 2024.

G.i. JOE iSSUE 142 < > iSSUE TWO

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G.i. JOE #142: BiGGLES-JONESiNG FOR MORE G.i. JOE

Our last cover for G.I. Joe in this Transformers: Generation 2 read through, by William Rosado. I’ll miss some of these characters but it does mean the actual Transformers sequel series is about to begin. In fact, #142 of G.I. Joe and #1 of Transformers: Generation 2 went on sale on the same day (despite advice to the contrary inside this issue) so there’ll be two reviews today, you lucky lot. Let’s begin where we left off last month, though.

Scarlett was seemingly going up against the newly rebuilt Megatron all on her lonesome during the last issue’s cliffhanger but here that old pantomime adage, “They’re behind you!”, could’ve been used by Cobra Commander and Zarana. The title spread for this last crossover chapter, Final Transformations (with credits in the photo below) shows no less than six Autobots were somehow able to sneak up without anyone spotting them.

I was tempted to conclude that Scarlett must’ve known they were there and that’s why she was so adamant she could stand up to Megatron, but we clearly see her running away in surprise, just being missed by incoming fire so clearly she wasn’t in cahoots. The fact none of the human characters saw them until this exact moment is highly ridiculous but it does speed things along.

It’s a somewhat random selection of characters to bring back. Brawn hasn’t been seen since the early years of the original comic, we’ve an Autobot cassette without Blaster on the planet and some Special Teams members without the rest of their combining pals. Then again, looking at the range of toys available at the launch of Generation 2 Larry Hama could’ve been somewhat restricted with who he could choose from to show a good cross section of the range.

The robot illustrations have certainly gone up a notch since last month. Brawn in particular comes off really well in almost every panel he’s in. Megatron doesn’t fair quite as well on some pages as his proportions seem to change from one scene to the next, but they’re all suitably solid, definitely feel their size and the fights pack a punch. Megatron also shows off his new abs and opens a compartment in his torso to plop Dr. Biggles-Jones inside.

I’ve always found it particularly funny when comedic moments come courtesy of the mute and deadly Snake-Eyes

It’s a high-octane issue once more, the culmination of the last few months of storytelling but at least there’s a proper plot this month, with the attempted escape plan for Biggles-Jones. Unfortunately, we don’t get to find out the secret she told Scarlett in #141 that saw the Joe lay her life on the line for her, that’ll have to wait until I can read the rest of the G.I. Joe run. But whatever it was, Scarlett is easily able to convince her teammates to get on board with helping the Cobra member.

There’s also room for some of the trademark humour these characters imbue. I’ve always found it particularly funny when comedic moments come courtesy of the mute and deadly Snake-Eyes. Last seen surrounded in the hospital ward he does as he’s told, lets go of the person he’s fighting and turns to face the masses. Terror flows through them as they instantly recognise who they’re facing, and as he opens his arms to show no resistance… out falls a handful of grenades from his hands.

I love the moody silhouettes used on this page, ending with his attackers continuing the fight amongst themselves, unaware he’s long gone.

There are some properly dramatic moments here, some of which definitely wouldn’t have had the same level of impact with the readers who were introduced to these particular Cybertronian characters for the first time here. But for long-time Transformers readers there are plenty of shocks. Steel Jaw and Chase are both destroyed and Override is literally pulled apart by the all-powerful Megatron in the final scenes.

The need for writer Larry Hama to translate his own character’s speech continues with this funny moment involving Cobra Commander and Zarana, then in the background of the battle a teeny tiny human makes a brief appearance in a few panels here and there, including one where he mentions his internal sensors. Given where things were left at the end of the first generation of comics this must be Spike, the Headmaster companion of Fortress Maximus, the only Autobot left on Earth.

Scarlett provides some laughs of her own in her fight sequence against the Cobra top brass. Distracted by what’s happening with Megatron and the Autobots, she’s able to take them both on before the troops Cobra Commander has summoned even make it to the scene. Her quick witticisms are classic 80s action movie stuff and apart from that awful new costume she remains one of my very favourite characters in the franchise. (She’s recovered pretty quickly from her ordeal last issue though.)

After much more action with the Transformers themselves the plan to rescue Dr. Biggles-Jones before Megatron extracts her brain (to put it to use developing new world-destroying weaponry back on Cybertron) is put into play. Enlisting Storm Shadow and Spirit who disguise themselves as Cobra troopers, they steal a vehicle and Skydive deactivates himself on a timer! This means he can be sneaked past The Ark’s sensors (which would sound a warning alerting Megatron) and automatically be reactivated inside.

It’s a neat idea and one the humans actually came up with. The only problem is that Megatron, who is trying to use The Ark to get off Earth with the doctor, is standing right outside. Another distraction is needed and Override bravely puts himself forward for the job. He puts up a good fight but as mentioned above he comes to a particularly grisly end. His death at the hands of Megatron has a profound effect on the conclusion of the story, though.

Override’s bravery doesn’t go unnoticed by Biggles-Jones, who questions how a robot could exhibit such a thing. The rescue mission continues with her, Scarlett and Snake Eyes on the back of the Cobra vehicle with Megatron in hot pursuit, and he’s about to wipe them all out when Biggles-Jones jumps off and surrenders in order to save the others; “I can be as brave as a mere machine.”

Megatron ends up taking off in The Ark, where Spike has smuggled himself on board, and leaves Earth. Looking at the doctor in a cryo tube, he notices she’d put a virus into the rail gun he had installed in his body. He’d deactivated the virus of course (and planted one himself in the weaponry he gave Cobra as part of their deal) but he still admires her intelligence. He decides not to kill her but to find another way to use her instead. I’m glad she’s not dead. I’d never met the character before this crossover and she’s an interesting addition.

Before rounding things up, the usual Marvel Bullpen Bulletin harps on about their Hallowe’en parties but of interest to blog readers is the inclusion of Dan Abnett (The Real Ghostbusters) and Andy Lanning (The Sleeze Brothers) and I’m a bit jealous of the Americans reading the continuing adventures of the 90’s version of Deathlok after Havoc’s cancellation in the UK. Plus, mention of the Biker Mice From Mars reminds me of teenage mornings watching The Big Breakfast before school.

The letters page sees some differing opinions about the inclusion of Transformers in the comic. There are certainly some overly dramatic readers here, their anger coming across like social media posts from certain corners of the ‘net before that was a thing. And, “realistic”? Yes, Larry grounded his characters and the military stores were well researched, but they’re based on toys. There’s sci-fi aplenty, body cloning, mind-bending, super-human ninjas… but okay.

Having read #1 of Transformers: Generation 2 for today’s other review I’m glad this got such an open ending with Dr. Biggles-Jones because of a litte preview of things to come in that other comic today. But I’m going to miss the rest of them, as I did during the Transformers G1 Instagram read through when they were unceremoniously kicked out of that comic’s back up strip spot. But I know I’m only months away from reading the whole of Marvel’s series, so this has acted not only as a great introduction to G2 but also as a great piece of hype for taking delivery of that Skybound G.I. Joe set next year!

For now, it’s goodbye to the Joes and Cobra and onwards into the depths of space. To say what’s ahead is truly epic in scale is selling it short, and that’s only after reading the first issue so far. You too can pick up where this crossover left off in the second of today’s reviews. It’s a cliché to say it, I know, but it truly only has begun.

G.i. JOE 141 < > TRANSFORMERS G2 iSSUE 1

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ALiENS #4: THEY MOSTLY COME AT NiGHT… MOSTLY

This atmospheric cover by John Bolton promises much for the tale of the Aliens film seen from Newt’s point of view that continues within these pages. What a shame the chapter inside issue four of Dark Horse International’s Aliens comic doesn’t deliver on the promise of this terrifying image, or indeed its previous instalments. In general this is the weakest issue so far but that’s not really the fault of the UK publisher or its editor.

Editor Dick Hansom’s comic, like most UK comics of the era, chopped up the US stories into smaller bite-sized chunks and serialised them across more issues than American readers would’ve had. This meant we got to have no less than four individual stories in this monthly anthology, which is always a good thing. However, upon occasion it did highlight weaker elements of those stories. You’ll see what I mean later in the review. First up though, is chapter four of Hive.

Written by Jerry Prosser, drawn by Kelley Jones, coloured by Les Dorscheid and lettered by Clem Robins, main character Doctor Stanislaw Mayakovsky provides the narrative captions as we see android alien Norbert finally enter the hive of the title. While the doctor’s words actually describe his previous experiments involving ants on Earth, they are no less relevant here and show how his previous research would lead on to this trip to deep space.

In the ‘What Has Gone Before’ description of previous issues we’re told Max the dog wears an inhibitor that makes him imperceptible to the aliens. What? This hasn’t been explained in previous chapters and we’re given no explanation here on how it’s meant to work either. Also, given how the doctor discovered another team’s much easier way of extracting the alien jelly he craves, why is he still going through with his much more dangerous idea?

Yes, he has learned of an almost risk-free way of achieving his goal but let’s go and annoy an alien Queen anyway. And let’s sacrifice the pet dog at the same time, turning off his inhibitor so Norbert can present Max as food to the real aliens. Unless the doctor’s ego is such that he must see his own plan succeed, this makes no sense. What also doesn’t make sense is even considering that the reader might feel any kind of tension about Norbert entering the hive.

This results in me not caring about what happens to any of them

It was already established in the films that the aliens couldn’t care less about androids, only if one posed a threat would they destroy them. So there’s no tension in his entrance and once threatened they terminate him, which is actually rather sad. After this there’s a confusing turn of events when the human observers crash land, apparently hit by lightning although it’s hard to tell what’s happened, leaving them stranded on the surface. Quelle surprise.

Now that we’re a few months in to this initially intriguing story the cracks are beginning to show, the main problem being there isn’t one single likeable human character in the cast. They’ve deliberately been painted as selfish profit driven cretins, the likes of which Ripley would’ve gone up against in the movies. This results in me not caring about what happens to any of them, completely negating any suspense or tension the script and art tries hard to rack up.

The Motion Tracker news pages bring another interesting insight into the early 90s, beginning with the reveal of an Aliens Vs Predator movie. In reality, while videogame crossovers would happen soon after, it wouldn’t be until 2004 that the two franchise behemoths met on the silver screen. (I must look out for that trophy in Predator 2.)

I’m sure I borrowed that Earth Hive novel from the library as a teen and really enjoyed reading it very late at night in bed by lamplight. The news about Ridley Scott’s Alien Special Edition needs a bit of clarification. The Director’s Cut I’ve seen since is, as Ridley himself explained, a recut rather than one which adds in missing scenes. The “controversional” scene mentioned here wasn’t controversial at all. It involved Ripley discovering Dallas metamorphosing into an alien egg but it was removed because it slowed down the tense ending. Later, Aliens would reinvent how the eggs are produced and Ridley didn’t want to contradict James Cameron’s film.

“You think you know what’s going on, but I’m telling you – you don’t have a clue.”

General Mavis, Predator: Cold War

Also, $100 for a laserdisc release? No wonder those things never took off over here! Finally, under the ‘Sly Fox’ section about the upcoming releases of videos in the series, for some reason it’s stated Aliens wasn’t shot in widescreen when it very definitely was. A strange error there. Did the writer assume it wasn’t when it was released on video in 4:3 ratio? All films were released that way into the home market until widescreen transfers really took off in the 90s.

Mark Verheiden’s Predator strip, Cold War (pencilled by Ron Randall, inked by Steve Mitchell, coloured by Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe, lettered by Clem) finally sees Russian Lt. Ligachev reappear but unfortunately not until the final page. Before this we’re treated to more human tension between America and the Soviet Union and, while it all starts off rather well with secretive manipulation by the US, it all boils down to a plot involving the sole survivor of a Predator attack (Ligachev) being sent to the site of another attack while coming up against people who wish to exploit the situation for profit and who don’t care about who is expendable (the Americans).

So basically, it’s the plot of Aliens reworked to fit the Predator series. Surely this isn’t a great fit for a comic based on Aliens? Wouldn’t fans see this for what it is? It might have been a decision out of editor Dick Hansom’s hands depending on what the parent company and the UK branch wanted to print over here. Oh, and it appears Detective Schaefer was in a previous Predator strip and that’s why he’s been brought in for the mission. But my point from previous reviews still stands. It still feels like he’s nothing more than a way to bring in Arnold Schwarzenegger without actually doing so (he’s the brother of Arnie’s character).

In the middle of the comic are four extra, glossy pages which make up a survey for the readers. I can’t see how useful listing favourite artists etc. would be to DHI, it’s not like they had any say over who would be creating the strips in the States, but I do find it intriguing that text stories are mentioned. Something tells me they appear later and I hope they do, it could be like reading those exciting novels again, but don’t ruin the surprise for me if you know. The readers are also given the option of choosing whether the comic should stay as a monthly or change to a fortnightly, or even a weekly! I doubt these answers had much sway though.

The Technical Readout page this month details the Remote Sentry Weapons, perhaps to the chagrin of one of the comic’s contributors, seeing as how they were used exclusively in one of the deleted scenes (the Special Edition was heavily criticised in an earlier issue). Then in the two-page Aliens Vs Predator II strip (written by Randy Stradley, drawn by Chris Warner) we find out one of the Predators is actually a human woman!

This could possibly be following on from the original strip but of course it hasn’t been printed in this volume. Regular blog readers will know that this and the chapter in Alien³ #3 were printed in the wrong order so at least the naming of Shorty is explained at last. Still, I want to find out a lot more and only getting two pages at once makes for a frustrating read, and now it’s only going to be two pages a month!

The final strip is Mike Richardson’s Newt’s Tale, which began as the brilliant idea of retelling the story of Aliens from the perspective of Newt. We’ve had some nice building of character and tension, and then last month the scenes where Newt witnessed the death of her mum and brother were truly horrific. You really felt for the child. It brought home the horrors she had to have seen in order to be in the situation we found her in during the film. Chapter three begins in suitable fashion too, as she discovers she can go places the aliens aren’t aware of simply because she’s so small, and we get this great double-page spread of her trying to survive over the next few days pencilled by Jim Somerville, inked by Brian Garvey, coloured by Gregory Wright and lettered by Pat Brosseau.

These were the moments I was looking forward to the most in the story. After the horrors she’d faced already, how exactly did Newt learn to survive in the complex, surrounded by the terrifying aliens. Unfortunately, these two pages are all we get. You can see at the top it says “Days pass…” and yet that last panel continues on to the next page and the moment Ellen and the Colonial Marines find her. Days? When Burke recruits Ripley they’d already lost contact and it took what I thought were at least weeks, possibly longer, to get there!

The rest of these pages see the interesting set up jettisoned for a typical, bland comics adaptation of the movie. We start to see scenes that don’t involve Newt and eventually she’s completely ignored for scenes of the Marines infiltrating the alien nest. The moment where Newt finally breaks her silence and tells Ellen her name is heavy with emotion and plays brilliantly after the trauma we saw her face last month, but then she just disappears from her own story for several pages.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind prompted the trend of re-thinking a movie after its initial showing and releasing it in a new cut

This is hugely disappointing. That cover promised so much and I hope next issue we’ll see more of Newt’s own story that we don’t already know. The particular section of the tale used for this issue might just be a blip in the overall original comic, unfortunately highlighted by being a chapter in and of itself in the UK comic. I can but hope, because right now I’m feeling like we’ve been sold one thing and are suddenly getting something else entirely. The issue does end on a high note however, with an interesting two-page feature on the new fad of Director’s Cuts, written by Dave Hughes.

I remember my friends and I being particularly excited for certain Director’s Cuts of films back then. Aliens is the obvious one, The Lawnmower Man was a completely different film in its lengthier cut, and some of my peers cheered when news of a Blade Runner special edition was announced. Here, some information on scenes cut from the original Alien film are notable and it goes into depth about Ridley Scott’s cyberpunk thriller. I’m glad the Aliens scene with Burke that’s mentioned was never reinstated because it was clear from his final moment that he was being killed, not taken away for implantation.

It may not have been recut by its director, but my favourite special edition is still that for Alien³ which reinstates a lot of David Fincher’s original vision, cut scenes, effects and whole story and character arcs the studio originally excised. It’s a phenomenal recut and the version which should’ve been released into cinemas at the time. It takes Alien³ (a film I already enjoyed) up to the level of the first two masterpieces and concludes an incredible trilogy for Sigourney Weaver and Ellen Ripley.

To round off the issue it’s nice to see I wasn’t alone in my thoughts about the review for the Aliens Special Edition a couple of issues back, although I do hope they don’t change their heading font, I think it’s perfectly readable and highly unique. With a comics checklist that shows how Dark Horse International was just beginning to grow, the fourth edition of Aliens comes to an end.

These may not have been the most enjoyable chapters of any of the main stories but Predator and Newt’s Tale still have the potential to correct course and, if nothing else, at least I can enjoy the humans in Hive meeting a predictably grisly end soon enough. Including the Alien³ Movie Special mini-series I can’t believe we’re already seven issues deep into this real time read through. The fact there are still so many to go, with many different stories for this anthology to tell yet, I can’t wait for #5 on Tuesday 22nd October 2024.

ALiEN³ iSSUE THREE < > ALiENS iSSUE FiVE

ALiENS MENU

TRANSFORMERS G1 iN REAL TiME (iNSTAGRAM READ THROUGH)

This site may be named after OiNK but my complete collection of Marvel UK’s epic Transformers is my pride and joy. Back in 2017 I wanted to do something with the comic for the original blog but two things stopped me. Firstly, reviewing a weekly comic for seven years was too daunting at the time (I was just starting out) and secondly, the stories had already been covered in depth all over the internet.

I landed upon the idea of a photographic journey through the series instead, as a way for former UK readers to reminisce and relive treasured memories, and to show the physical comics to those in the UK and elsewhere who had read the stories in book form but had never seen the original covers, the back up strips, fact-files, letters pages, special features, competitions and even the contemporary adverts.

The perfect place for such a journey was Instagram. So for seven years I read Transformers in real time, taking a handful of photographs of each issue and posting them up on the original release dates. When it all ended in January 2024 I realised that if I gave blog readers links to the posts, Instagram doesn’t let users navigate between them when accessed from an external link like that. Damn.

No one was going to scroll back over seven years of social media posts just to check them out, and the more time passed the more out of reach that mammoth project would become.

Well, to mark the comic’s 40th anniversary I’ve come up with a solution.

TRANSFORMERS G1

I’ve gone back over all 375 Instagram posts I made during that read through and added two hashtags to each and every one so that you can locate any issue you want, in any order. You can check out your favourites or go right back to the beginning and see the whole lot in order. It’s taken me over a month to do this and they’re now ready for you to check out any time you wish.

When I began the read through the blog didn’t have its own social media accounts so it started on my personal one. I also only owned a handful of issues from the first year of fortnightly comics. However, by Transformers’ 35th anniversary I’d been able to buy all of that first year and finally covered all those issues. Confused? You don’t need to be, just use the hashtags below and you’ll get them all in their proper reading order from issue 1 to issue 332.

The early posts on my own account have a few photos and a write up with some basic details. As the series progressed on to the OiNK Blog’s account however (issue 71 onwards), I was taking more photos and writing more and more information in the captions, including full art credits.

HOW IT WORKS

Every single post contains the hashtag #OiNKTransformers and Instagram will throw them up in random order when you search it. However, I’ve also included an individual identifying hashtag to each and every post, eg. #OiNKTransformers192. Listed below are the groups of hashtags you can use, beginning with the regular issues and then all of the special editions released during the run.

If you’d like to read the entire collection in the correct order, with each of the special editions and personal posts slotted into the correct reading order amongst the regular comics, further below you’ll see the full ‘Reading Order’ to follow.

(Please note all hashtags work with all lower or upper case too, they’re presented here as they are for ease of reading.)

REGULAR iSSUES (332)
#OiNKTransformers1
to #OiNKTransformers332
Issue 192 has two additional posts:
#OiNKTransformers192a

and #OiNKTransformers192b

ANNUALS (7)
#OiNKTransformersAnn1
to #OiNKTransformersAnn7
The fifth annual has an additional post:
#OiNKTransformersAnn5Answers

COLLECTED COMICS (19)
#OiNKTransformersCC1
to #OiNKTransformersCC19
Collection Comics 11 has two additional posts:
#OiNKTransformersCC11a

and #OiNKTransformersCC11b

COMPLETE WORKS HARDBACK BOOKS (2)
#OiNKTransformersCW1
and #OiNKTransformersCW2

TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE (2)
#OiNKTransformersMovie1
and #OiNKTransformersMovie2

FREE GIFTS (2 additional posts)
#OiNKTransformers54gift
and #OiNKTransformers200gift

ACTION FORCE CROSSOVER EVENT (4)
#OiNKTransformersAF1
to #OiNKTransformersAF4

INSECTICONS SPECIAL
#OiNKTransformersInsecticons

TRANSFORMERS UNIVERSE
#OiNKTransformersUni

MARVEL BOX ANIMATION
#OiNKTransformersBoxes

FINAL COVERS
#OiNKTransformersFinalCovers 

READING ORDER

To read the entire collection in the correct order, alongside each of the following issues you should read the accompanying issue/post:

Alongside #OiNKTransformers22
read #OiNKTransformersCC1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers35
read #OiNKTransformersCC2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers41
read #OiNKTransformersAnn1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers54
read #OiNKTransformers54gift

Alongside #OiNKTransformers56
read #OiNKTransformersCC3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers62
read #OiNKTransformersCW1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers66
read #OiNKTransformersCC4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers90
read #OiNKTransformersMovie1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers93
read #OiNKTransformersAnn2

Alongside #OiNKTransformersAnn2
read #OiNKTransformersInsecticons

Alongside #OiNKTransformers94
read #OiNKTransformersMovie2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers108
read #OiNKTransformersCC5

Alongside #OiNKTransformers108
read #OiNKTransformersCW2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers116
read #OiNKTransformersCC6

Alongside #OiNKTransformers126
read #OiNKTransformersAF1

Alongside #OiNKTransformers127
read #OiNKTransformersAF2

Alongside #OiNKTransformers128
read #OiNKTransformersAF3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers129
read #OiNKTransformersAF4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers136
read #OiNKTransformersCC7

Alongside #OiNKTransformers145
read #OiNKTransformersAnn3

Alongside #OiNKTransformers160
read #OiNKTransformersCC8

Alongside #OiNKTransformers169
read #OiNKTransformersCC9

Alongside #OiNKTransformers176
read #OiNKTransformersCC10

Alongside #OiNKTransformers189
read #OiNKTransformersCC11

After #OiNKTransformers192 read:
#OiNKTransformersCC11a/192a (same post),
#OiNKTransformersCC11b
and #OiNKTransformers192b 

Alongside #OiNKTransformers198
read #OiNKTransformersUni

Also alongside #OiNKTransformers198
read #OiNKTransformersAnn4

Alongside #OiNKTransformers200
read #OiNKTransformers200gift

Alongside #OiNKTransformers220
read #OiNKTransformersCC12

Alongside #OiNKTransformers227
read #OiNKTransformersCC13

Alongside #OiNKTransformers241
read #OiNKTransformersCC14

Alongside #OiNKTransformers250
read #OiNKTransformersAnn5

Alongside #OiNKTransformersAnn5
read #OiNKTransformersAnn5Answers

Alongside #OiNKTransformers256
read #OiNKTransformersCC15

Alongside #OiNKTransformers271
read #OiNKTransformersCC16

Alongside #OiNKTransformers279
read #OiNKTransformersCC17

Alongside #OiNKTransformers285
read #OiNKTransformersBoxes

Alongside #OiNKTransformers302
read #OiNKTransformersAnn6

Alongside #OiNKTransformers313
read #OiNKTransformersCC18

Alongside #OiNKTransformers327
read #OiNKTransformersCC19

Alongside #OiNKTransformers331
read #OiNKTransformersAnn7

Alongside #OiNKTransformers332
read #OiNKTransformersFinalCovers

I hope you enjoy reliving (or even discovering for the first time) this incredible Transformers series from Marvel UK. Currently elsewhere on the blog the US Transformers Generation 2 series is enjoying its own real time read through and from this Christmas there’ll be a new yearly series of posts about this original G1 series. There’ll be much more from the Robots in Disguise over the years to come, so keep it tuned to the OiNK Blog.

EXTRA POST

MAiN TRANSFORMERS MENU