THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #3: SiGNED, SEALED, DELiVERED

Before you ask, no I did not get this third edition of The Sleeze Brothers signed by co-creator and artist Andy Lanning. Clearly someone did back in 1990 but the only reason I got my hands on it was through a lucky find on eBay. So lucky in fact that the owner clearly didn’t know the cover had been signed, there was no mention of it in the description and I was able to get it for a pound or two. Bargain, and a unique addition to the collection.

Inside, you could say it was a brave or a risky decision in only a six-issue mini-series to have a story which hardly features our two lead characters at all. Personally, I don’t think it was brave or risky, it was done for one reason and one reason only: because it’s bloody funny. Over the first 17 pages of comic strip El’ Ape and Deadbeat only appear in a small panel at the bottom of four pages! But it works.

A vast array of brilliantly-named characters take the reigns of the story instead, from President Sinartra (son of an embryo farmer who has caterpillar tracks for legs and feet after an accident) and his mistress Marilyn Blondclone, to Man Hugh of the Human Liberation Front (he prefers his name to be reversed, to Hugh Man) and the local mafia head The Cosmos Father and his faithful fixer Caneloni. Then there’s the six-eyed Hairdryer, leader of the Galactic Investigation Bureau and his secret service agents Clint 116, Eastwood 244, Bronson 245, Nimoy 94 and De Niro 124.

The imagination on display here from writer John Carnell and of course penciller Andy is amazing. Stephen Baskerville’s recognisable inks and Steve White’s gorgeous, outlandish colours round off the art in superb fashion as they always do, however this issue’s story, Big Leap, contains more imagery and more written/drawn gags than ever before. Combined with Helen Stone’s letters and all edited by Dan Abnett, Richard Starkings having resigned, although he had commissioned the whole six-issue series. Credited as ‘originating editor’ here by Dan, according to Richard (thanks for leaving the comment!) he left very little to do. This truly showcases everyone’s talents and what Marvel UK was capable of.

Throughout, the Sleezes are sitting in their office waiting for the phone to ring on a quiet day in The Big Apple. Meanwhile, the H.L.F. have sent an alien (The Bugger) capable of rendering itself invisible into The White Wash (future version of The White House) with a little insect capable of recording video in order to catch Sinarta and Blondclone together in a tryst (hence the alien’s funny name). Their plan is to hold him to ransom for their demands.

Things of course do not go to plan and after the recording has been taken the actual bug itself (unaware it’s being used in this way, the recording capabilities are part of its natural evolution) is seen crawling away from his owner, who then ends up falling from the high perch he’d crept to outside the White Wash. Now, when I say it’s a high perch, I’m not kidding.

We’re told at the start of the story this is taking place at 09:00 and over the next few pages we see all the major players out after The Bugger and time creeps on in narrative captions to 09:20, 09:33, and 09:40. We assume The Bugger has met their grizzly end and these characters are rushing out to find the splatted corpse to retrieve the video. But nope, 46 minutes later we see a workman on the side of a building somewhere get a surprise.

This is a running gag throughout most of the story and it genuinely had me in stitches every time. In previous issues we’ve seen how this futuristic city was very much a spoof of Mega-City One from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd strips, and here the sheer size of the megastructures in that comic are taken to extremes. To say the least. So why is everyone clamouring to find the landing spot of this unfortunate clandestine individual?

Well, the H.L.F. want to get the footage they’ve paid for, especially since they’ve already given their (ridiculous) demands to Hairdryer at the G.I.B. The G.I.B. themselves want to protect the country’s leader. The cat-like Greebas, who have sent a ninja to retrieve the tape, have been secretly recording Cosmos Father and as a result now know about it, and the mafia leader himself intends to profit from bribery too. I’m guessing about the Greebas’ intentions because their alien language is never translated apart from the occasional funny word.

This is the moment the Greebas see, when we get an explanation from Caneloni about the bug’s natural recording abilities and why on Earth (or whatever planet they’re from) they have this ability. It’s just more evidence of John’s insane sense of imagination and fun, and we even get to see the end result of the “playback signals”, complete with a minute bucket of popcorn. Brilliant.

There are so many characters and interweaving plots the whole issue is completely chaotic in the best possible way. Despite it jumping from scene to scene and from one group to another incredibly quickly throughout, it’s always very easy to follow and you just go along for the ride, genuinely laughing aloud with every single turn of the page. There are some more subtle adult gags, a career snitch working for all sides who is nothing but professional and the inability of the deadly ninja to be taken seriously.

Some great examples there of the range of comedy in this issue. Soon (at 09:59 as a matter of fact) all of our main protagonists are gathered around the same building awaiting the arrival of The Bugger and their bug. Hugh Man, still living with his mum, is worried she won’t be happy at his failure despite being a sweet old lady, Caneloni fears for his life and in a hilarious nod to the actor, agent De Niro 124 has to convince Hairdryer who he’s talking to.

It’s only after this page that our comic’s namesakes finally take a leading role. Looking out of their window, El’ Ape thinks all of the people looking up at them means their adverts are finally paying off. That is, until their roof crashes in and a strange alien creature, dead from the impact, takes out El’ Ape’s brand new desk. Furious, his temper doesn’t improve when he takes a drink from their water fountain and discovers some form of insect has fallen inside.

Spitting it out and squashing it with his foot he has no idea of the significance of his actions. Not even when their door (and half their wall) is kicked in and the combined forces of the Cosmos Father’s Caneloni, the H.L.F., the G.I.B. and the Greeba all enter, weaponry at the ready. One look at the scene in front of them though and the whole string of plots come to a sudden, funny end.

I particularly like the third panel on this page with De Niro 124 saying with all sincerity that the destruction of the evidence of what the president was actually doing, and thus keeping his ability to lie about his scandalous relationship, will preserve truth and justice! Hugh Man heads home for tea, Caneloni’s time now seems to be short and the ninja Greeba utters one of the few English words they know.

More annoyed at the state of their office in the space of a few minutes than the fact they’ve a dead body and a bunch of crazies on their doorstep, El’ Ape continues to grumble until they check the news and see a reward for The Bugger. In the final panels, El’ Ape’s attitude predictably reverses and he congratulates himself and his brother for all their hard work in finding him!

I definitely would’ve been compelled to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue

Only appearing on four full pages and a few panels elsewhere hasn’t blunted the attraction of these two characters. They don’t even need to be the leads in their own comic to be able to steal the story for themselves and in doing so deservedly reclaim their lead status. These two are classic comics characters through-and-through and only three issues in they feel so well established that John and Andy can get away with a Sleeze-lite episode. There aren’t many characters that could get away with that so soon.

The issue ends with a floating Dalek staring down at the reader, weapon pointed and at the ready in an advert that really needed the magazine’s logo at the top. As much as I love the Daleks, this wouldn’t exactly have compelled me to fork out for the latest issue. What I definitely would’ve been compelled to do would be to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue. Luckily I already have and it’ll be up for review on Monday 30th September 2024.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS MENU

ALiEN³ MOViE SPECiAL #2: THE BiTCH iS BACK

I know I write a comics blog but I’ve been looking forward more to the written features in this second issue of Dark Horse International’s three-issue Alien³ mini-series, way more than the comic strip. This is not only because the previous edition’s features were so good, it’s also because there’s a big, meaty interview with none other than Ellen Ripley herself, Sigourney Weaver!

Dave Hughes’ piece is definitely the highlight of the issue, although other pages do come a close second. If DHI had instead released a one-off special magazine with all of these articles and left the strip out it would’ve been the most amazing tie-in for this movie. But at £1.50 per issue it’s not like this was overly expensive anyway, even back in 1992. So let’s see what our star has to say about the film, her career and even her family over the opening five pages.

My first encounter with Sigourney on film was the original Ghostbusters but to me the first three (we’ll forget about the fourth) Alien films are what I know her for best (although her cameo during the end credits of Ghostbusters: Answer the Call is hilarious). After the article in Aliens #2 which negatively reviewed the Aliens Special Edition it’s nice to read Sigourney’s viewpoint. It really did reinstate Ripley’s “raison d’être” as she says, something that had angered her when it was cut because she’d been playing the character a certain way, only to have the whole reason for her performance edited out.

I also totally agree with her description of Ghostbusters II; despite loving it as a kid my adult eyes see it for what it was now. The original idea for back-to-back third and fourth Alien films sounds interesting and I adore her initial reaction to meeting director David Fincher. I’m not at all surprised at the pathetic criticisms over the cast being bald (I mean, you’d expect stuff like that on certain social media sites these days) and while reading this I was actually saddened they brought her back for Alien: Resurrection.

“I came to realise that the only way she [Ripley] could finally get any peace was if I, the actor, was willing to go deep into the material and allow her a release.”

Sigourney Weaver

Sigourney was adamant at this stage that Alien³ was her final film in the series but that they should definitely continue without her. What she says about giving the character this interesting situation, this amount of courage, and how she saw her as a friend and going deep into the material to give the character a release feels so genuine. I remember the first time I heard the recording from the end of Alien played out at the end of Alien³ and it was so poignant. She also doesn’t spoil the ending!

It’s touching to read how filming Aliens with Carrie Henn resulted in Sigourney wanting to start her own family and how this led to the autopsy scene in Alien³ being so excruciating for her to film (although she says it should be an excruciating watch), and I wonder if her wish to make a film about obsession led to Copycat, the fantastic 1995 thriller. It’s a fascinating read so please do take your time to enjoy it all.

After this great start I turned the page and realised I was about to endure 24 pages of the comic strip adaptation again. Maybe that’s unfair, perhaps it would see an improvement over last issue’s chapter. There are definitely some nicely realised scenes with the alien here, Christopher Taylor (pencils) and Rick Magyar (inks) seem to revel in bringing this very different version of the xenomorph to the page, but they still manage to make all of the human characters look identical.

While the film has a muted palette, just like the film the moments of horror bring an outburst of colour from Matt Webb that make these really stand out but the script by Steve Grant (written up by Clem Robins on letters) still reads like a copy-and-paste job from the film script. Overall, it feels like one of those rushed “Previously On…” bits you’d get at the start of a TV show which rushes through things as quickly as possible before getting to the main event. It’s just that this is actually the main event.

It does contain one of the main missing plots of the original theatrical release when they capture the alien only for Golic to become obsessed with seeing it released. This whole character arc for Paul McGann was excised, despite him being credited as the second lead actor, but any excitement felt at its reinstatement in comic form is soon dispersed because it’s all done within a few pages and really adds nothing to this version of the story, unlike the Special Edition of the movie. Such a shame.

Some of the funny moments are also conspicuous by their absence since they rely on swearing which the comic has to limit. It also really makes you appreciate the performances (both powerful and subtle) of all of the fantastic cast assembled for Alien³ and makes me want to watch it again to see how this story was meant to be experienced. In that regard I guess it does the job for a comic adaptation, promoting a film which was in the cinema at the time.

After I praised editor Dick Hansom for keeping the poster separate from the pages of the comic last month, he’s now unfortunately gone and done that pet peeve of mine and called it a “free” poster on the cover while printing it on the middle pages, with the comic strip on its rear. At least it’s still printed on lovely high-quality gloss paper so it really pops next to the matt paper stock. Those pages of the strip also look better now too, so it’s a shame they’d have to be removed to use the poster.

Alien³ Bug Hunting takes a look at some of the merchandise available for the movie, confusingly listed with letters instead of numbers, momentarily making me turn the page to look for the remaining 19 lettered entries. It’s a shame the soundtrack isn’t available on Apple Music because Elliot Goldenthal’s music really was incredible, and I like the funny comment here about what wasn’t included. Fans of the film will know exactly what this is in reference to.

Next to that entry is news of the UK’s version of the VHS pack containing Alien and the Special Edition of Aliens, both in widescreen which was a big deal at the time when we all had 4:3 TVs and were so used to only seeing half the picture of our films. With postcards of original art by Simon Bisley also included this would’ve been on the top of my wish list at the time… if I’d known about it.

After another two pages of that Aliens Vs Predator II strip (I showed you a chapter of it in the review for Aliens #3) You’ve Been Bugged contains no less than 16 quotes from various people involved with Alien³ (and one reviewer) and it’s a quick grab bag of opinions about the film, a smorgasbord of information for fans to lap up. Actor Brian Glover, who played prison warden Harold Andrews, is spot on and perfectly sums up what made the first three movies stand out so much to me (and to my mum when she and I both watch Aliens for the first time together, something she really enjoyed because of what Glover says here ).

By contrast the xenomorph’s original designer, H.R. Giger doesn’t seem to understand this very salient point, which seems somewhat short-sighted when you read the next quote from Tom Woodruff Jnr, who explains just how much Giger’s work inspired not only the alien but the design of the third film. There’s more contradiction between writer William Gibson and writer/producer David Giler in the next two quotes too.

Unfortunately the superb Michael Biehn’s (Hicks in Aliens) quote makes him come across as rather bitter that he’s not in Alien³ but of course we’ve only got this very small quote to go on, without the larger context of the conversation he had with whoever was interviewing him, so we’ll not dwell. David Giler returns with the final quote to ruin the ending again (even before the strip got to the end) and Screen International film reviewer Patricia Dobson seems to have wanted no more than a rehash of the second film instead of something original, which ironically I bet reviewers would’ve heavily criticised.

This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself

The issue rounds off its nicely varied features with a two-page Technical Readout which is always a great read in the regular monthly title. You may take a glimpse at this double-page spread and think, “Really, Phil? You expect us to read an article about an escape pod? About what is basically a space lifeboat?” Well yes, I do. When I saw this I immediately assumed I wouldn’t be including it here, because how interesting could it be? When I started reading I realised my assumption had been wrong and Lee Brimmicombe-Wood completely surprised me.

Yep, it’s actually an interesting read, isn’t it? That’s testament not only to the detail to be found within every aspect of the Alien universe but also to Lee’s writing, that he can create two pages about a space lifeboat and make it really interesting. This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself.

So there we go, great features and a strip with some decent alien artwork that has me wishing Christopher and Rick had created a cover or an original poster of their version of the xenomorph. These make up for the disappointing adaptation itself by some margin, and I’m looking forward to the third and final issue in just three weeks. Watch out for the review on the OiNK Blog on Monday 16th September 2024.

ALiENS iSSUE 3 < > ALiEN³ iSSUE 3

ALiENS MENU