Monthly Archives: August 2024

Comic Reviews, The Sleeze Brothers

THE SLEEZE BROTHERS #3: SiGNED, SEALED, DELiVERED

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Before you ask, no I did not get this third edition of The Sleeze Brothers signed by co-creator and artist Andy Lanning. Clearly someone did back in 1990 but the only reason I got my hands on it was through a lucky find on eBay. So lucky in fact that the owner clearly didn’t know the cover had been signed, there was no mention of it in the description and I was able to get it for a pound or two. Bargain, and a unique addition to the collection.

Inside, you could say it was a brave or a risky decision in only a six-issue mini-series to have a story which hardly features our two lead characters at all. Personally, I don’t think it was brave or risky, it was done for one reason and one reason only: because it’s bloody funny. Over the first 17 pages of comic strip El’ Ape and Deadbeat only appear in a small panel at the bottom of four pages! But it works.

A vast array of brilliantly-named characters take the reigns of the story instead, from President Sinartra (son of an embryo farmer who has caterpillar tracks for legs and feet after an accident) and his mistress Marilyn Blondclone, to Man Hugh of the Human Liberation Front (he prefers his name to be reversed, to Hugh Man) and the local mafia head The Cosmos Father and his faithful fixer Caneloni. Then there’s the six-eyed Hairdryer, leader of the Galactic Investigation Bureau and his secret service agents Clint 116, Eastwood 244, Bronson 245, Nimoy 94 and De Niro 124.

The imagination on display here from writer John Carnell and of course penciller Andy is amazing. Stephen Baskerville’s recognisable inks and Steve White’s gorgeous, outlandish colours round off the art in superb fashion as they always do, however this issue’s story, Big Leap, contains more imagery and more written/drawn gags than ever before. Combined with Helen Stone’s letters and all edited by Dan Abnett, Richard Starkings having resigned, although he had commissioned the whole six-issue series. Credited as ‘originating editor’ here by Dan, according to Richard (thanks for leaving the comment!) he left very little to do. This truly showcases everyone’s talents and what Marvel UK was capable of.

Throughout, the Sleezes are sitting in their office waiting for the phone to ring on a quiet day in The Big Apple. Meanwhile, the H.L.F. have sent an alien (The Bugger) capable of rendering itself invisible into The White Wash (future version of The White House) with a little insect capable of recording video in order to catch Sinarta and Blondclone together in a tryst (hence the alien’s funny name). Their plan is to hold him to ransom for their demands.

Things of course do not go to plan and after the recording has been taken the actual bug itself (unaware it’s being used in this way, the recording capabilities are part of its natural evolution) is seen crawling away from his owner, who then ends up falling from the high perch he’d crept to outside the White Wash. Now, when I say it’s a high perch, I’m not kidding.

We’re told at the start of the story this is taking place at 09:00 and over the next few pages we see all the major players out after The Bugger and time creeps on in narrative captions to 09:20, 09:33, and 09:40. We assume The Bugger has met their grizzly end and these characters are rushing out to find the splatted corpse to retrieve the video. But nope, 46 minutes later we see a workman on the side of a building somewhere get a surprise.

This is a running gag throughout most of the story and it genuinely had me in stitches every time. In previous issues we’ve seen how this futuristic city was very much a spoof of Mega-City One from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd strips, and here the sheer size of the megastructures in that comic are taken to extremes. To say the least. So why is everyone clamouring to find the landing spot of this unfortunate clandestine individual?

Well, the H.L.F. want to get the footage they’ve paid for, especially since they’ve already given their (ridiculous) demands to Hairdryer at the G.I.B. The G.I.B. themselves want to protect the country’s leader. The cat-like Greebas, who have sent a ninja to retrieve the tape, have been secretly recording Cosmos Father and as a result now know about it, and the mafia leader himself intends to profit from bribery too. I’m guessing about the Greebas’ intentions because their alien language is never translated apart from the occasional funny word.

This is the moment the Greebas see, when we get an explanation from Caneloni about the bug’s natural recording abilities and why on Earth (or whatever planet they’re from) they have this ability. It’s just more evidence of John’s insane sense of imagination and fun, and we even get to see the end result of the “playback signals”, complete with a minute bucket of popcorn. Brilliant.

There are so many characters and interweaving plots the whole issue is completely chaotic in the best possible way. Despite it jumping from scene to scene and from one group to another incredibly quickly throughout, it’s always very easy to follow and you just go along for the ride, genuinely laughing aloud with every single turn of the page. There are some more subtle adult gags, a career snitch working for all sides who is nothing but professional and the inability of the deadly ninja to be taken seriously.

Some great examples there of the range of comedy in this issue. Soon (at 09:59 as a matter of fact) all of our main protagonists are gathered around the same building awaiting the arrival of The Bugger and their bug. Hugh Man, still living with his mum, is worried she won’t be happy at his failure despite being a sweet old lady, Caneloni fears for his life and in a hilarious nod to the actor, agent De Niro 124 has to convince Hairdryer who he’s talking to.

It’s only after this page that our comic’s namesakes finally take a leading role. Looking out of their window, El’ Ape thinks all of the people looking up at them means their adverts are finally paying off. That is, until their roof crashes in and a strange alien creature, dead from the impact, takes out El’ Ape’s brand new desk. Furious, his temper doesn’t improve when he takes a drink from their water fountain and discovers some form of insect has fallen inside.

Spitting it out and squashing it with his foot he has no idea of the significance of his actions. Not even when their door (and half their wall) is kicked in and the combined forces of the Cosmos Father’s Caneloni, the H.L.F., the G.I.B. and the Greeba all enter, weaponry at the ready. One look at the scene in front of them though and the whole string of plots come to a sudden, funny end.

I particularly like the third panel on this page with De Niro 124 saying with all sincerity that the destruction of the evidence of what the president was actually doing, and thus keeping his ability to lie about his scandalous relationship, will preserve truth and justice! Hugh Man heads home for tea, Caneloni’s time now seems to be short and the ninja Greeba utters one of the few English words they know.

More annoyed at the state of their office in the space of a few minutes than the fact they’ve a dead body and a bunch of crazies on their doorstep, El’ Ape continues to grumble until they check the news and see a reward for The Bugger. In the final panels, El’ Ape’s attitude predictably reverses and he congratulates himself and his brother for all their hard work in finding him!

I definitely would’ve been compelled to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue

Only appearing on four full pages and a few panels elsewhere hasn’t blunted the attraction of these two characters. They don’t even need to be the leads in their own comic to be able to steal the story for themselves and in doing so deservedly reclaim their lead status. These two are classic comics characters through-and-through and only three issues in they feel so well established that John and Andy can get away with a Sleeze-lite episode. There aren’t many characters that could get away with that so soon.

The issue ends with a floating Dalek staring down at the reader, weapon pointed and at the ready in an advert that really needed the magazine’s logo at the top. As much as I love the Daleks, this wouldn’t exactly have compelled me to fork out for the latest issue. What I definitely would’ve been compelled to do would be to buy the next issue of The Sleeze Brothers after this side-achingly funny issue. Luckily I already have and it’ll be up for review on Monday 30th September 2024.

iSSUE TWO < > iSSUE FOUR

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Alien³, Comic Reviews

ALiEN³ MOViE SPECiAL #2: THE BiTCH iS BACK

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I know I write a comics blog but I’ve been looking forward more to the written features in this second issue of Dark Horse International’s three-issue Alien³ mini-series, way more than the comic strip. This is not only because the previous edition’s features were so good, it’s also because there’s a big, meaty interview with none other than Ellen Ripley herself, Sigourney Weaver!

Dave Hughes’ piece is definitely the highlight of the issue, although other pages do come a close second. If DHI had instead released a one-off special magazine with all of these articles and left the strip out it would’ve been the most amazing tie-in for this movie. But at £1.50 per issue it’s not like this was overly expensive anyway, even back in 1992. So let’s see what our star has to say about the film, her career and even her family over the opening five pages.

My first encounter with Sigourney on film was the original Ghostbusters but to me the first three (we’ll forget about the fourth) Alien films are what I know her for best (although her cameo during the end credits of Ghostbusters: Answer the Call is hilarious). After the article in Aliens #2 which negatively reviewed the Aliens Special Edition it’s nice to read Sigourney’s viewpoint. It really did reinstate Ripley’s “raison d’être” as she says, something that had angered her when it was cut because she’d been playing the character a certain way, only to have the whole reason for her performance edited out.

I also totally agree with her description of Ghostbusters II; despite loving it as a kid my adult eyes see it for what it was now. The original idea for back-to-back third and fourth Alien films sounds interesting and I adore her initial reaction to meeting director David Fincher. I’m not at all surprised at the pathetic criticisms over the cast being bald (I mean, you’d expect stuff like that on certain social media sites these days) and while reading this I was actually saddened they brought her back for Alien: Resurrection.

“I came to realise that the only way she [Ripley] could finally get any peace was if I, the actor, was willing to go deep into the material and allow her a release.”

Sigourney Weaver

Sigourney was adamant at this stage that Alien³ was her final film in the series but that they should definitely continue without her. What she says about giving the character this interesting situation, this amount of courage, and how she saw her as a friend and going deep into the material to give the character a release feels so genuine. I remember the first time I heard the recording from the end of Alien played out at the end of Alien³ and it was so poignant. She also doesn’t spoil the ending!

It’s touching to read how filming Aliens with Carrie Henn resulted in Sigourney wanting to start her own family and how this led to the autopsy scene in Alien³ being so excruciating for her to film (although she says it should be an excruciating watch), and I wonder if her wish to make a film about obsession led to Copycat, the fantastic 1995 thriller. It’s a fascinating read so please do take your time to enjoy it all.

After this great start I turned the page and realised I was about to endure 24 pages of the comic strip adaptation again. Maybe that’s unfair, perhaps it would see an improvement over last issue’s chapter. There are definitely some nicely realised scenes with the alien here, Christopher Taylor (pencils) and Rick Magyar (inks) seem to revel in bringing this very different version of the xenomorph to the page, but they still manage to make all of the human characters look identical.

While the film has a muted palette, just like the film the moments of horror bring an outburst of colour from Matt Webb that make these really stand out but the script by Steve Grant (written up by Clem Robins on letters) still reads like a copy-and-paste job from the film script. Overall, it feels like one of those rushed “Previously On…” bits you’d get at the start of a TV show which rushes through things as quickly as possible before getting to the main event. It’s just that this is actually the main event.

It does contain one of the main missing plots of the original theatrical release when they capture the alien only for Golic to become obsessed with seeing it released. This whole character arc for Paul McGann was excised, despite him being credited as the second lead actor, but any excitement felt at its reinstatement in comic form is soon dispersed because it’s all done within a few pages and really adds nothing to this version of the story, unlike the Special Edition of the movie. Such a shame.

Some of the funny moments are also conspicuous by their absence since they rely on swearing which the comic has to limit. It also really makes you appreciate the performances (both powerful and subtle) of all of the fantastic cast assembled for Alien³ and makes me want to watch it again to see how this story was meant to be experienced. In that regard I guess it does the job for a comic adaptation, promoting a film which was in the cinema at the time.

After I praised editor Dick Hansom for keeping the poster separate from the pages of the comic last month, he’s now unfortunately gone and done that pet peeve of mine and called it a “free” poster on the cover while printing it on the middle pages, with the comic strip on its rear. At least it’s still printed on lovely high-quality gloss paper so it really pops next to the matt paper stock. Those pages of the strip also look better now too, so it’s a shame they’d have to be removed to use the poster.

Alien³ Bug Hunting takes a look at some of the merchandise available for the movie, confusingly listed with letters instead of numbers, momentarily making me turn the page to look for the remaining 19 lettered entries. It’s a shame the soundtrack isn’t available on Apple Music because Elliot Goldenthal’s music really was incredible, and I like the funny comment here about what wasn’t included. Fans of the film will know exactly what this is in reference to.

Next to that entry is news of the UK’s version of the VHS pack containing Alien and the Special Edition of Aliens, both in widescreen which was a big deal at the time when we all had 4:3 TVs and were so used to only seeing half the picture of our films. With postcards of original art by Simon Bisley also included this would’ve been on the top of my wish list at the time… if I’d known about it.

After another two pages of that Aliens Vs Predator II strip (I showed you a chapter of it in the review for Aliens #3) You’ve Been Bugged contains no less than 16 quotes from various people involved with Alien³ (and one reviewer) and it’s a quick grab bag of opinions about the film, a smorgasbord of information for fans to lap up. Actor Brian Glover, who played prison warden Harold Andrews, is spot on and perfectly sums up what made the first three movies stand out so much to me (and to my mum when she and I both watch Aliens for the first time together, something she really enjoyed because of what Glover says here ).

By contrast the xenomorph’s original designer, H.R. Giger doesn’t seem to understand this very salient point, which seems somewhat short-sighted when you read the next quote from Tom Woodruff Jnr, who explains just how much Giger’s work inspired not only the alien but the design of the third film. There’s more contradiction between writer William Gibson and writer/producer David Giler in the next two quotes too.

Unfortunately the superb Michael Biehn’s (Hicks in Aliens) quote makes him come across as rather bitter that he’s not in Alien³ but of course we’ve only got this very small quote to go on, without the larger context of the conversation he had with whoever was interviewing him, so we’ll not dwell. David Giler returns with the final quote to ruin the ending again (even before the strip got to the end) and Screen International film reviewer Patricia Dobson seems to have wanted no more than a rehash of the second film instead of something original, which ironically I bet reviewers would’ve heavily criticised.

This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself

The issue rounds off its nicely varied features with a two-page Technical Readout which is always a great read in the regular monthly title. You may take a glimpse at this double-page spread and think, “Really, Phil? You expect us to read an article about an escape pod? About what is basically a space lifeboat?” Well yes, I do. When I saw this I immediately assumed I wouldn’t be including it here, because how interesting could it be? When I started reading I realised my assumption had been wrong and Lee Brimmicombe-Wood completely surprised me.

Yep, it’s actually an interesting read, isn’t it? That’s testament not only to the detail to be found within every aspect of the Alien universe but also to Lee’s writing, that he can create two pages about a space lifeboat and make it really interesting. This bodes very well indeed not only for the next issue of this comic but also for the remaining 19 of Aliens itself.

So there we go, great features and a strip with some decent alien artwork that has me wishing Christopher and Rick had created a cover or an original poster of their version of the xenomorph. These make up for the disappointing adaptation itself by some margin, and I’m looking forward to the third and final issue in just three weeks. Watch out for the review on the OiNK Blog on Monday 16th September 2024.

ALiENS iSSUE 3 < > ALiEN³ iSSUE 3

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Comic Reviews, G.I. Joe, Transformers: Generation 2

G.i. JOE #141: A POUND OF FLESH

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This somewhat uninspiring cover welcomes us to the latest issue of G.I. Joe and the penultimate chapter in the Transformers crossover leading up to the launch of the Generation 2 comic. William Rosado and Chris Wallace’s poorly coloured foreground distracts from the silhouette of Megatron in the background holding a captured Dr. Biggles-Jones. Not that we can tell who she is.

Unfortunately, in general the art for Sucker Punch inside isn’t the best I’ve seen in G.I. Joe over the years, or even in these few issues. In particular Megatron suffers from a lack of detail, the end result coming across like the artists just aren’t comfortable with Transformers at all. At some points he looks more like a Go-Bot than a Cybertronian, which is a real shame as his was one of the few really good G2 toys produced by Hasbro.

Written by Larry Hama (who else), this chapter is pencilled by Steven Leiber (Whiteout, Hawkman, Gotham Central) and William Rosado (The New Titans, Green Arrow, Iron Man of 2020), inked by Scott Moulter (a search for comics he’s worked on only brings up this issue) and Chip Wallace whose inking in previous issues has been great, and coloured by Bob Sharen and lettered by Rick Parker, both regulars on the series.

Among the 11 pages of adverts (nearly a third of the comic, normal for Marvel) there’s a strip in there somewhere too and we find out part of Cobra Commander and Megatron’s deal is the handing over of Dr. Biggles-Jones to the Decepticon leader for transport back to Cybertron. Her mastery of advanced weaponry and inventions impressed Megatron so much he saw the potential of letting her loose on Cybertronian tech, just as we saw her excited by the prospect last time.

“The Protoplasm Stripper is just the thing for hacking away all of that excess tissue!!”

Megatron

We also see Biggles-Jones continue to demand Scarlett admit she’s working undercover for the enemy, despite defending her against such accusations from Slice and Dice. Clearly the doctor knew they’d kill Scarlett if their hunches were proved right, which begs the question what have Biggles-Jones’ intentions been all along? Also, did anyone fall for the elaborate ruse?! It appears not. Snake Eyes watches on, ready to pounce to protect his love, but he and his men soon find themselves on a neighbouring rooftop against Cobra Night-Creepers, leaving the two women locked in their potentially deadly conversation.

As you can see, Cobra Commander is still going through his eating-a-thesaurus-for-breakfast phase, so much so that Larry has even included a little translation caption for us. Less successful is how Megatron is presented. Especially after the amazing work in the previous issues where he had real-world weight and scope, where he felt like a real threat. The previous months really spoiled us, it would seem.

See past the art though and the revelation of what will happen to Dr. Biggles-Jones is a shock and a few pages later (after some fighting in the sewers and on rooftops between the male Joes and Cobra), the more interesting story returns just after Biggles-Jones has told Scarlett some big revelation. Before we can find out what it is a huge robotic hand smashes through the window (and half the wall I presume) and takes her away.

I do hope we get the answer to what this conversation was about before the end of next month’s issue because that’s when the blog will be heading off in the direction of the actual Transformers: Generation 2 comic, leaving any unresolved G.I. Joe arcs for me to discover when I finally take delivery of the complete Marvel run in the Skybound box set next year.

Over the next few pages the action ramps up as the leader of the Night-Creepers, angry at Snake Eyes sitting zen-like on the roof instead of fighting him, slowly realises what he’s up against. Scarlett makes her escape in a moment of karma for Dice that was particularly satisfying to see after the last couple of issues, before she tells everyone that he was actually right while she makes her way, no-holds-barred, towards The Ark. Then her lover equally puts an end to things.

There are some other scenes here too, such as the rest of the Ninja Force leaving Snake to go and rescue other Joe teams in the sewers and on the streets, Dr. Mindbender’s continued recovery and Hawk sending Storm Shadow and Spirit back into the town to retrieve Snake Eyes after the former enemy refuses to follow orders to leave. But overall this chapter is very light on story.

This is not a complaint. Thanks to the previous chapter telling a good story this is a welcome action-filled issue with each of these incredibly well-written characters bouncing off each other. The action is pretty much non-stop. I only wish the previous art team had been responsible for bringing it to the page. The one plot that does get advanced is that between Scarlett, Biggles-Jones and Megatron.

The fact Scarlett is ready to go up against Megatron is a much bigger shock ending than any of the grander scale cliffhangers

The final double-page spread has Snake Eyes finally breach the hospital to rescue Scarlett, only to find she’s already escaped. Making light work of those that wished her harm he soon finds himself trapped against overwhelming odds, but the cliffhanger is the more entertaining moment. Clearly, whatever Biggles-Jones told Scarlett was important enough for her to… well, see below.

Now there’s a match up I can’t wait to see! Showing the resolve of the character, the fact Scarlett is ready to go up against Megatron is a much bigger shock ending than any of the grander scale cliffhangers. Vastly out-matched, does she have a plan? Is anger clouding her judgement? Just what was she told?! Next month’s issue is highly anticipated and we’re actually in for a double dose of excitement in September. Why? Take a closer look at the next page.

The Marvel Comics Bullpen Bulletins were identical across all of their titles every month, often containing news or views the company wanted to share with their readers across the board. At the bottom there’s also the Hypeline, a comics checklist which is described as showing what’s on sale that week, but it’s actually showing us what’s going to be on sale the week of the following issue. You’ll notice two certain comics right beside each other.

That’s right, the next G.I. Joe and the first Transformers: Generation 2 went on sale on the same day, so you’ll see both reviews on the same day here too. I’m glad, given the agonising wait there’ll be after this issue. Among the comedic commentary it’s also nice to see Marvel’s executive editor, the late Mark Gruenwald and I agree on comics being created to be read rather than collected for monetary value and never opened.

At the back of the issue is the Postbox: The Pit letters page and this is the first time we’ve seen it over these few months. You can see that the same ‘issues’ (female readers, cover price) that plague dark corners of social media today (where certain ‘people’ try to use these topics to justify their hatred or piracy) were being brought up even back then. At least the former of the two topics wasn’t a complaint at the time. What surprised me was that everyone’s address is printed! A way for fans to reach out for new pen pals at the time? Defintiely couldn’t do that today thanks to those same dark corners of the web.

Some disappointing art aside this has been an action-packed addition to the story, with just enough plot progression to make me eager for the final chapter. The mystery between Scarlett and Biggles-Jones in particular, not to mention Scarlett’s solo standing up to the might of a Deception, have me counting the days. I just hope we get to see some resolution, although with the predicament the doctor is in with Megatron I’m coinfident we’ll get an ending one way or the other.

But what kind of ending? That’s the question. That’s what’s made me impatient, but wait I must. Not for too long though, and with both G.I. Joe #142 and of course Transformers: Generation 2 #1 on the same day the wait will be doubly worth the wait. It’s all been building to Sunday 29th September 2024. Be here for the beginning of a most hotly anticipated sequel.

iSSUE 140 < > iSSUE 142

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Aliens, Comic Reviews

ALiENS #3: GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BiTCH!

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Beginning with another Paul Johnson cover, the third issue of Dark Horse International’s first (and ultimately flagship) comic really settles into its format this month with a whopping four strips and well written features across its 52 pages. Aliens is a meaty read and even for the time it was great value for £1.50. I’ve so many issues remaining but already I’m really glad I chose to cover this in real time on the blog.

So, inside the first strip is part two of Newt’s Tale, Mike Richardson’s retelling of the film from the young girl’s perspective. Over its 13 pages there are some genuinely shocking moments that, with hindsight, really seem to add to the character so brilliantly portrayed by Carrie Henn (amazingly, her first acting role) and the haunted child that first appeared to Ripley and the marines. 

In a secured bunker the colonists shelter in hiding from the creatures that have appeared out of nowhere, seemingly not piecing together they’ve come from the thing that had attached itself to Newt’s dad’s face. Of course, the reader knows that alien was the queen Ripley would ultimately face. We see Newt’s mum and brother Timmy here also, her mum Annie convincing someone to give her a gun and she stays awake all night as the kids rest.

Banging noises from outside suddenly occur and arguments begin. We know what’s out there but the colonists have lost contact with their men sent to the nest to exterminate the creatures, thinking they’d easily outnumber them and just set it alight, not knowing what the aliens are actually capable of. In a moment deliberately intended to frustrate the reader we see two sides argue over opening the door. It’s frustrating because we know which side will win, that their self-imposed macho superiority will lead to disaster for everyone, including all of the children.

But there’s no reasoning with them and as soon as we turn the page they’re overrun in seconds. This page (pencils by Jim Somerville, inks by Brian Garvey, colours by Gregory Wright, letters by Pat Brosseau) is so much better than the overly cartoonish chest burster scene last time, but it’s only the beginning of the horrors over the next few pages. Such as Annie telling her children she’s sorry before aiming her gun at Timmy!

Clearly she sees what’s happening around her and, as heartbreaking and terrifying as the moment is for her, at least it would be instant and they wouldn’t suffer at the hands of the aliens. It’s only a few panels but it hits hard. Newt begs her not to and instead they make a run for the ventilation shafts where we’ve previously seen the kids playing. They know where they lead; they can escape.

To see it played out, even if it is in comic form rather than celluloid brings the cold, harsh reality of it to bear

Timmy and Newt are bundled inside just before Annie is grabbed from behind and a curtain of blood pours down in front of the shaft entrance a few feet from the kids. The most shocking moment of all sees Timmy jump out and pick up Annie’s gun, shouting that he’ll save his mummy. He shoots the alien, its acid blood squirting over his face and blinding him. But as if that wasn’t enough for the small child, he’s killed right in front of Newt, and this is where the chapter ends.

Of course we already knew Newt would end up being the only survivor, we knew all of the mums and dads and their children died, but it all happened off screen. To see it played out, even if it is in comic form rather than celluloid brings the cold, harsh reality of it to bear. After this part of the story it’s gone from being an interesting curiosity to the best strip of the comic.

The middle pages might initially feel like a strange place to have a back up strip, but that’s where Mark Verheiden’s Predator: Cold War tale is, sandwiched between the two Aliens stories and, while I don’t really understand a lot of what’s going on in its 12 pages, I’m still enjoying it and am eager to learn more about these particular extra-terrestrials. As Lt. Ligachev makes her way back to Siberia the aliens are preparing for another hunt at the oil pumping station.

As you can see there are pages set on board their spacecraft somewhere in the frozen wastes (pencils by Ron Randall, inks by Steve Mitchell, colours by Chris Chalenor and Rachelle Menashe, letters by Clem Robins) and while Ligachev’s internal narration of what she’s about to face again is well written, I’m pretty lost when it comes to the images. What is that disc-shaped object it’s taken from the walls and why is it discarded like that? This would probably makes sense if I’d seen the film of course.

As I’ve said before I’ll be doing so this Hallowe’en so I’ll assume (hopefully correctly) that this is all self-explanatory to Predator fans. I look forward to finding out for myself though, and the air of mystery around these creatures while I read only acts to heighten my interest. So please, as much as you might think explaining it would help, let me discover it for myself (the spooky season isn’t far off anyway).

The attack has begun and the first victim is a dog, which lures in one of the men, who then sees the aliens and makes a desperate run back to his colleagues, giving away the location of everyone else. The way they move through the complex and dispose of anyone in their path is chilling, even with the still images of a comic it’s clear to me they’re doing it for sport, for recreation, and there are some brutal moments.

Instead of running for safety, some of the men grab shotguns in an attempt to slow down the attackers. They know they’re no match for them, they know they’re alien and can’t be stopped, but they also know Ligachev is on her way and their last desperate gambit is to hold them off until their reinforcements arrive. But the first thing they come across is a load of their men strung up by their feet, blood pouring out from the gaping holes where their heads used to be.

Upon seeing it, one of them comments, “What kind of hell is this?” After a few more pages of gruesome killings, one man at a time, we arrive at the final moments of the strip and one of the Predators repeats back the very same line as the man’s torso slides down its spear. All dead, the Predators lie in wait for Ligachev and her military might. It’s atmospheric, I’ll give it that, and as an introduction to these creatures it works. I’m just impatient to see more of the interesting lead character, so I’m looking forward to the next issue.

The other main Aliens strip is the third chapter of Jerry Prosser’s Hive, originally the main story in the first issue. Mayakovsky and Lish send Norbert (the alien synthetic) and their poor dog, Max down to the surface of the planet where they find the aliens around the hive are sleeping! Max soon finds another lander ship with humans and it’s surrounded by more sleeping aliens who appear to have nodded off mid-attack.

Is it wrong of me to kind of love Norbert? I mean, he’s still programmed to act like a proper alien as you’ll soon see, but to see this frightening beast looking after Max and reporting back is genuinely funny without ever breaking the illusion of the universe created by the films. However, over the next two pages that affection soon disappears as his programming takes over with some horrific results, as drawn by Kelly Jones with Les Dorscheid’s colours and Clem’s letters.

It appears these humans (hinted at last time) have used something called “infrasonic suppression” to put the xenomorphs into a deep state of hibernation while they collected the slime our lead characters have also come for. Mayakovsky is rather jealous of their idea; it could’ve saved him a lot of time and money in developing XL1 (Norbert). But as Norbert tracks down and kills all of the crew one-by-one, part of the ship’s computer systems becomes damaged, and you just know what that part controlled, don’t you?

Yep, the aliens are now awake and have surrounded the ship. Will they realise Norbert is a synth? After all, in the films it’s established they won’t attack a synthetic human unless they’re attacked first, that they know the difference. Surely they’ll see through this? Anyway, the chapter ends with a worrying development for Max. Given Norbert’s goodbye, I don’t know if I want to see what happens next!

At the very back of the issue is the next instalment of the strange little Alien Vs Predator strip I mentioned in #1 of Alien³ (actually, it’s called Alien Vs Predator II, so I must’ve missed the original in the first volume of the comic). The strip was written in two-page chunks for Dark Horse Insider magazine in the US and ran for 14 issues. It’s written by Dark Horse co-founder Randy Stradley (Marvel Star Wars, Crimson Empire, Jedi Council) and illustrated by Chris Warner (Terminator, Alien Legion, co-creator of Barb Wire).

As you can see there’s not a lot of story to tell in two pages but by the end it’ll have lasted for 28 pages in total so we’ll see if it develops beyond a long battle between the two alien species. As I said in the review for #1 of Alien³ these two franchises hadn’t met yet on film, so this could’ve been exciting for fans of both in 1992. This will take until next summer to complete so I’m hoping there’s scope over that time for more depth.

There are the usual plethora of features in this issue including news and the Technical Readout section, the latter also containing this spread about synthetic humans, a key part of the Alien universe. There was an interview with Lance Henrikson in that one issue I bought as a teenager and I remember being disappointed that he didn’t mention the Super Mario Bros movie he was in for all of five seconds. As if he would! (No pictures of Ash from the first film though, which is a shame.)

The beginning of the Alien³ video had an exciting trailer for Alien War, a place in London where fans could experience the terror of the second film by being led through an area by Colonial Marines while being stalked by a giant xenomorph. It actually began life in Glasgow and it’s this original setting that gets its own feature in this issue. I always thought the trailer looked fantastic and would’ve given anything to have gone with my like-minded friends but alas these things just never came to Northern Ireland at the time.

At the back of the comic underneath the letters page is the latest comics checklist and the first non-Aliens title from DHI was about to launch at the end of September. Featuring an Indiana Jones back up strip (because of George Lucas’ connection), Star Wars #1 surely couldn’t miss, right? Thing is, it’s not mentioned in any of the checklists or adverts in Jurassic Park which launched the following year, so it mustn’t have lasted long, which is surprising.

Upon checking I can confirm it only lasted ten months and was abruptly cancelled even though it advertised the next issue and #11 appeared in the checklists. It’s another franchise (alongside Predator) that I haven’t really seen (I know – unforgivable!) so until I do I doubt I’ll collect this particular DHI comic, but it’s good to see them expanding already by this point in this read through, and I can’t wait to see what else they released that I might bring to the blog.

(Actually, I already have a completed set of one of their other comics! That’ll start in January 2025 and I’ll leave its name a mystery for just a bit longer.)

Three issues down and plenty to go. This comic is already pretty incredible, it’s going to be a great read through if it keeps on improving as it has already from one month to the next. Aside from the crossover strip I’m eager for the next chapter of all the stories, there’s not one of the three main stories that I’d say is a weak link. A great selection of extras too this month. Aliens #4 will be reviewed on Tuesday 24th September 2024, but before then is both #2 (Monday 26th August) and #3 (Monday 16th September) of Alien³! A busy month ahead. Bring it.

ALiEN³ iSSUE 1 < > ALiEN³ iSSUE 2

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DAViD LEACH CONQUERS THE UNiVERSE #3: DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK (AND TALK)?

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Did you know OiNK cartoonist David Leach is also a secret agent who has saved us from Godzilla-like monsters and Predator-like alien invasions? Well, if you didn’t pick up the first two issues of his occasional comic series David Leach Conquers the Universe now you know! It’s been a long time coming (#2 was released seven years ago) but #3 has finally arrived and is available now for all pig pals to buy.

In his four-issue series David’s character is self-deprecating, sarcastic and skilled at annoying the baddies with his endless patter, all the while being a hilarious spoof of action movie stars. This issue moves into familiar James Bond territory with a villain who has a suitably outlandish scheme, living in a secret lair with a band of minions (in this case a faceless robotic army). We even get a brilliantly funny ‘Q’-type scene in which he picks the most useless piece of tech imaginable, one which you instantly know is setting up a very specific pun for later in the issue, making the pay off even more satisfying (and hilarious).

As in the previous issues we get strange interludes of some people bent over a tabletop role-playing game who seemingly control the scenarios in which David finds himself. His reference to the mysterious “They” shows us he’s clearly aware of some higher power but it always comes across as conspiratorial, leading to ridicule from his family in a great opening scene where he’s hired for a new top secret job right in front of them.

My favourite moment is when he’s reminded about how he’s meant to keep a low profile in his role as a secret agent for M.A.R.S. (not Destro’s organisation in G.I. Joe, the acronym here is much better) before being lectured about appearing on Come Dine With Me, something the real David actually did back in 2013! I nearly bust a gut laughing at this moment.

I won’t give too much away here about the villain, his profession or his overall plan because it’s one of the highlights of the issue. What I will say is, after Godzilla and Predator, David clearly had his eyes on the Bond franchise next and as a fan of those films I can say he does not disappoint! Having met already, a later scene has our sort-of-hero notice something different about the man who now holds him at gunpoint.

The character of David here has an innate ability to talk. In fact, very often throughout the series his mouth gets him into all sorts of trouble because he doesn’t seem to have a brain-mouth filter. Just how much of the fictional David is based on the real-life one? I couldn’t possibly answer that, but you do come away with the impression that he’s having a good laugh at himself throughout these comics.

There are so many hilarious moments here and it’s so difficult not to tell you about more of them because they’re that good! It’s a catch-22 situation of course; I want to tell you more about the contents so you know just how brilliantly funny it is and you’ll want to buy it, but if I do so it’d ruin those moments for you and you wouldn’t enjoy it as much as I did. Plus, this is David’s job, for which he deserves to be paid for his work and at a measly £4.99 this is a bargain for the amount of laughs you’ll get in return.

Not only was I delighted to see a third issue after I’d assumed there’d be no more, the addition of the new ‘#3 in a four-issue series’ banner on the cover shows there’s another on the horizon. With said banner and the open ending (the panel below is not it) I do hope this means David has already begun working on it and we won’t have to wait as long for the conclusion.

Why have I reviewed the third issue first? Simple, because it’s new and, while I will be adding older comics released by OiNK’s cartoonists as the blog continues, any new releases will get covered straight away. No, you don’t need to have read the first two issues of David Leach Conquers the Universe to enjoy this one, but they’re all so good why wouldn’t you?

Published by Aylesbury comics shop Dead Universe Comics their website is down at the time of writing but it’s easy to order by phone. They’ll be happy to take your order on 07852 836307 and for £4.99 you’re going to get 36 pages chock full of brilliant art and even better laughs.

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