NO.73: COME ON iN

This hardback book cover brings back memories of many a childhood Saturday morning in front of the telly, hence why this post is being published on a Saturday morning. No.73 was a fictional house in an unknown street where Sandi Toksvig played the tenant Mrs Ethel, surrounded by a cast of young up-and-coming talent, including Neil Buchanan who would go on to present the insanely good Art Attack in later years. A certain papier-mâché-headed OiNK superstar also popped up now-and-again and thus you have the reason for this book’s inclusion, despite the fact it contains no comic strips.

Sadly, what the book doesn’t contain is any Sandi. I loved her on the show, although I always knew her by her real name (she was one of the main writers too) and I don’t remember the fact she played a character. Her ad-libbing (often as herself and not in character) and dead pan humour was brilliant and to this day I’ll pretty much watch anything with her in it (QI has never been better). Being a fan of Sandi’s all started with No.73, however this book was produced in 1987 and she had departed the series in 1986 after four years as the lead.

Now, those who have been paying attention will know this isn’t the first time No.73 has been mentioned on the blog.

This montage was taken from Frank Sidebottom’s time filming during the show’s final year, when it was renamed ‘7T3’ and had an American Wild West theme (which I remember being terrible), although Frank is seen here taking part in a very British James Bond spoof. As I mentioned in #52’s review I loved seeing Frank pop up on No.73 and in my head he appeared at the breakfast table or in the shed many times. Imagine my surprise when I found out he only appeared in nine episodes!

Anyway, I said there’d be a special post to come later in the year and here we are at last. Just before Frank’s double-page spread the book shows readers how to make their own space observatory but, like a lot of such things on the show, it was more of a spoof of what you’d see on traditional children’s shows. As such, take a saucepan, shove a football in it and sellotape a pair of binoculars on top and you’ve got a rotating observatory! Neil is star gazing in the garden of the house when he hears a certain nasally voice.

The book has 64-pages and every single one is illustrated by Don Seed, except for the next two that is. Unfortunately Frank’s pages, which are very similar to those he was producing for OiNK at the time, are reduced to fit in pictures of Neil (who played an exaggerated version of himself on the show) and Dawn Lodge as played by Andrea Arnold (now OBE).

“I was born ‘Francis Sidebottom’ on the 1st of the 4th at 11:37am. I know this because I was wearing my watch at the time and it has a little button to show the date and the month.”
Frank Sidebottom (Chris Sievey)

Andrea is now a filmmaker, has won an Academy Award, and more than once the Jury Prize at Cannes as well. Amongst all of her other work she also directed all of the second season of Big Little Lies. As for Neil, as well as Art Attack I remember enjoying Finders Keepers and Motormouth as a kid, and his art was so good he even had to deny he was Banksy in 2020. Anyway, back to the star here.

This acts as an introduction to Frank for those who had seen him on the show and wanted to know more about him. It includes staples of his OiNK contributions such as Timperley (and its Post Office), Little Frank and his celebrity lifestyle. For the latter we get a superb reason why none of his celebrity friends ever seemed to visit him.

I love the volume he dares turn his music up to in his mum’s house when she’s not there and let’s not overlook that fantastic shed of his. This often featured in OiNK, he had his own TV show based around it and here we get a little list (he did like lists in OiNK) of the things he does in there. This leads on to the next spread in the book from Dawn, who has one or two ideas of her own.

Well, I say one or two…

I think this is a great follow up and it even mentions Little Frank in there too.

It was great to see two new Frank pages after getting to the end of OiNK’s regular run in October because, yes, I’m missing him already. The man behind the mask, Chris Sievey, gets a mention in the credits at the start of the book, although the four main cast members only get thanked so I’m assuming they didn’t write any of this themselves. Seeing as how they played fictional characters (or fictional versions of themselves) I guess there was no need to get them involved.

“You’re a mucky lot mankind, it’s time you grew up and started cleaning up after yourselves. Mother Nature’s got her work cut out coping with you as it is.”

There’s a large list of contributors with no indication of what each brought to the book, however it’s edited by Richard Morss who was a writer on the final two series (seven and eight) of No.73, the seventh being the one on TV when this book was released and the final to actually feature the house itself. The long list of contributors includes regular guests from the series such as animal experts and magicians etc. It was a varied show!

Unlike other Saturday morning shows No.73 told ongoing storylines and character arcs over the course of each series which formed the backbone of everything else, even celebrity guest appearances were worked into these scripts rather than having straight interviews. There was even a fictional film company called Front Door Productions within the setting which was responsible for the sketches and video shoots spoofing whatever was popular at the time.

Long-time character Dawn helped out at the local vet’s and was a vegetarian, which was something not represented very well in the 80s, especially on children’s television. Her healthy lifestyle would be very on-trend today so you could say it was way ahead of its time for a key children’s series and book like this. In fact, having someone follow an exercise routine and be a vegetarian was deemed so noteworthy we were treated to a day-in-the-life diary!

Kim Goody was, like Neil, playing an exaggerated version of herself on the show. Kim is a singer and songwriter, although the song she’d recorded at the time and talks about here (the show being a hopeful springboard to success) was a Tina Turner song and one I personally recognise as an Aswad and Ace of Base tune. It was not successful (as she candidly tells us here) despite her popularity with the viewers.

Nowadays, Kim has a composition and publishing company and owns Soho Square Studios, a post-production company. She’s married to former The Hollies band member Alan Coates and together they wrote the music for many BBC productions including those pounding BBC News scores. The final member of the team was Nick Staverson who played the character of Harry Stern, who I have absolutely no recollection of.

Harry appears the most throughout this book and seems to be a bit of a clichéd harmless idiot character. The actor portraying him doesn’t appear to have had as much success as the rest of the team, with his only real credits to date being No.73 itself, something called Fish Tank and a charity Telethon. He appears on this next spread with Neil and Dawn in one of the many pieces with an environmental or animal theme.

Alongside the spoofs of The A-Team and James Bond, the magicians, Frank Sidebottom, pop music, games and general chaos No.73 also drove home some important messages to its captive audience, messages which are sadly still needed just as much (if not more so) today. Watching No.73 was like watching several children’s shows at once and in particular during its Sandi years it was also incredibly funny and clever.

What’s here is an interesting snapshot of 80s children’s television in general

Obviously it’s been decades since I saw it; Saturday morning children’s magazine shows aren’t exactly repeat fodder. All I have to go on are my rose-tinted memories and this book. Judging by the book the variety had remained but the humour had changed after Sandi left. There’s none of the sarcasm and clever wit here that I remember, although when viewed as a variety programme what’s here is an interesting snapshot of 80s children’s television in general.

There could be moments when a book like this could feel very of its time, if you know what I mean. Thankfully, No.73 was created by a bunch of very nice people who seemed very progressive in how they lived their lives. So, the difference between Chinese astrology and that more often used in the UK being referred to as “theirs” and “ours” may make me cringe a little today but that’s literally the only time that happens in the whole book. It’s also a fun spread to read.

Anyone who knows me will know how much I love cats, so it’s a bit disappointing to find out that not only was I not born in a Year of the Cat, but that the animal would not suit me at all. I was pleased enough with being a snake though… until I was called a skinflint! Oh, and if you’re wondering what all of the random words and phrases are along the bottom of every page, there’s a huge quiz at the back with so many answers they’re spread throughout the book, each one listed by their page rather than question number. It’s something a little different and that pretty much sums up No.73.

If you grew up with the programme I’d heartily recommend tracking down this book for a wonderful trip down memory lane. Its humour stands up well today, and while there are no comic strips I think a lot of it reads very OiNK-like, with its randomness, spoofs of more traditional children’s entertainment, digs at 80s culture and of course there’s a bit of Frank. This blog is all about reliving childhood favourites and this is as close as I can get with No.73. Reading this has been a blast.